A New Style of Education

by Karen Page

Part 55

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Part 55

Saturday 14th January 2006

On Tuesday, Edith had told Stacy and me that she had something planned for today. In the awkward and painful days since my chat with Stacy, it wasn't something I'd been looking forward to. I'd tried my best to forget the last few days, including my birthday. Helen had tried to put on a brave face, but when we'd been alone in our bedroom, we would both soon be in tears.

Just before breakfast both Helen's PDA and mine pinged. The message said to meet Mr Hobson in his office after breakfast where he would explain Edith's task to us. The attendees shown on the invite were Helen, Stacy, Andy and me. My heart sank. How can I face being near Stacy, after what she'd said on Tuesday?

"Today's task is quite simple," said Mr Hobson. "You are going to take part in a little quiz, similar to what you did in France. Rachel will drive you to the train station where you'll take the train into London. This is where the quiz will take place. If you have any issues, ring the contact on your travel PDA's marked 'Issues'. In London you will split into pairs and follow the orders that will appear on your PDA's. If any of the prompts are confusing, ring the issues line. Once you have all finished, come back to the local train station and Rachel will pick you up. Any questions?"

There were none. I know Mr Hobson liked to keep things simple, but I doubt anybody could misunderstand. Heck, there was even a big shiny button on the front screen marked 'Have Issue'. I don't think he was leaving anything to chance. We were each armed with some cash and a debit card.

Rachel was waiting with the minibus and we were all driven to Leighton Buzzard railway station. This was the first time that all four of us had been together, alone, since my chat with Stacy admitting our feelings and we all seemed a bit strained. When I'd told Helen that Andy and Stacy had already known how we felt, she had felt as horrified as I had. Since Wednesday, she had avoided Stacy and Andy.

When we got to the station, Rachel turned to us and said, "Before you go, we need a little chat. Let me come round and climb in the back with you."

We all looked at each other, nervously. I'm sure it didn't go unnoticed as Rachel seemed to be very alert as she got in the back.

"What's going on? I have some ideas, but I want to hear it from you. Stacy, why don't you explain, since you are head student?"

Stacy just shook her head. I was surprised, as Stacy normally would have explained her actions. To not do so, was just not like her.

"Okay," said Rachel calmly. "Let's see how I do. You have been discussing you cross partner feelings and you are unsure how to react with each other now it is out in the open. Am I right?"

None of us answered.

"I take it that a lack of a denial that I'm close enough to the truth. The question is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to pretend that it isn't there? Are you going to lie to yourselves? Or are you going to sit down together and talk about it to find out you aren't all jumping to conclusions?"

Again, we were silent. None of us wanted to get into a discussion about this, especially with Rachel.

"Okay, I think this needs to be discussed, and you will have plenty of time on the train when it's just the four of you. You were going to be allowed to decide what teams you have. However, in light of these issues, I think you should be Andy and David as one team, leaving Stacy and Helen as the other."

Internally I gasped. I couldn't believe that Rachel would do such a thing. What a fiend!

"I'll see you later," said Rachel, getting out of the minibus and indicating we should get going. "I hope you have fun."

When we were safely away from Rachel, Helen blurted out, "I can't believe she did that."

"Welcome to the nicer side of Dr Ruiz," shrugged Stacy. "She is forcing us to address the issue in some practical way, rather than just talk about it with us."

"Oh," said Helen, like me, not having thought about that scenario.

While we were chatting with Rachel, we'd missed a train, and I thought we might have to hang around for ages, but a few minutes later another one pulled in. The train we had missed was one that stopped at all stations on the way, but the one we got on was a fast train, with the next station being London Euston. We found a quiet carriage and took a block of four seats, Helen and I facing the direction the train was going, leaving Stacy and Andy going backwards.

"Do we have to talk about this?" asked Helen.

"Hey, that's my line," I complained, and got a friendly elbow in my side.

Stacy took charge, "Okay, it is just the four of us, stuck together for half an hour. Let's see if we can understand each other's issues. I think the only way is if we are all truthful about things. Since Wednesday, neither Andy nor I have seen either of you. Have you been avoiding us?"

"It's just embarrassing," I eventually said. "I was hoping you didn't realise."

"I'm also worried you think we're silly and a bit immature," added Helen. "Besides, I wanted give Stacy a good pasting for upsetting David like she did."

"Why didn't you?" Stacy asked, putting a hand on Andy, who had clenched his fists.

"Becky took me on a run and calmed me down. Heck, I was so exhausted I could hardly play afterwards in practice."

"Okay Andy, they've been honest with us, do you have anything to add? Remember, be open and honest."

Andy flashed a look at Stacy that I'd never seen before. A look of hurt mixed with worry.

"I've been avoiding too," started Andy, refusing to look at anybody. I thought he was going to say something else but he just clammed up.

"Why?" I asked, rather confused.

"I knew about Helen's feelings, and didn't want to encourage it. I hoped that if she didn't see me as much, then it might go."

"And the rest!" demanded Stacy. This was a side I very rarely saw of Stacy. She was still her normal tender self, but there was an edge to her voice that we all understood to mean that she wanted what she said.

Andy almost whispered. "I also didn't want Helen or David to know I'm rather fond of Helen, too. David is a good friend, and I wouldn't want him upset with me. Avoiding Helen was not just for her to get over me ... but so temptation wasn't there for either of us."

I didn't see that coming!

Helen's head, which had been down after her revelation popped up and she looked surprised at Andy. "I'm sorry, Stacy."

"I'm sorry too," said Stacy. "I wasn't totally honest with David the other day. I omitted telling him that like Andy, the feelings were reciprocated." Stacy turned to face me directly. "However, what I told you the other day still stands; for several reasons, nothing can come of it."

Stacy didn't say anymore, and I think part of the reason was she didn't want to hurt me and Helen. I'm sure one of the primary reasons was our age.

"I love David," Helen told Stacy. "I wouldn't want anything to happen with Andy. I don't want to come between you and Andy. I know it sounds simplistic, but we all got on after Moscow, even though we all know what had happened that night. Damn. I'm beginning to sound as old as David sometimes does."

"Not old, but mature," said Andy. "I think we all bottled things up, because we didn't want to cause issues for our partners. Now we have things in the open, let's see if we can trust each other and ourselves."

"That's the silly thing," said Helen. "David did trust, but it was me I didn't trust. Heck, David said the other day how he was glad that I seemed happier, even when it was after I'd spent time with Andy."

That got Andy and Stacy very puzzled, and there was nothing I could do to help them understand. It was just that I didn't get jealous, but just wanted the person I loved to be happy. Isn't that what love is about? I tried several ways to explain it, but they just didn't seem to get it. Eventually I gave up, and looked out of the window at the built up view of the outskirts of London.

Our trip to London turned out to be similar to the competition we did in Paris, follow certain clues and solve the question. It seemed strange to be with Andy instead of either Helen, or even Stacy, whom I'd worked with so much before. Each team would have the same questions, but in different orders, that way we couldn't see each other's results. I had no idea why we were doing this, but there must have been some reason.

"So, do you have a crush on me too?" asked Andy as we went towards the Tube. This was the first time I'd been on the Tube, and it seemed a bit daunting. However, Andy didn't seem fazed and I just stayed close.

"No," I responded simply, trying not to gag at the thought, and quickly wondered how to be tactful. There were more than a few same-sex couples at the school, and I was pleased they'd found love. However, someone male wasn't something that appealed for me. "You're a good friend, I hope, but I don't feel anything more. I think the reason things came together quicker with Stacy was because of Moscow. What about you?"

"A good friend."

"Are you mad at me?" Andy opened his mouth and I quickly added, "And no joking."

Andy paused, and I was worried he wasn't going to reply. Eventually he did in a rather subdued voice. "I was a bit at first, until Stacy reminded me that was unfair because of Helen. And who am I to disagree with Stacy."

"What strange people we are," I laughed. I was relieved that Andy wasn't mad at me. He always took the time to listen to me when I needed someone male to talk about certain things. He'd never been judgemental about my issues, even when they seemed to make little sense.

"Some people would say we're strange, just based on me being a cross dresser and Stacy having a sex-change. I don't think this makes us strange, just more unique."

"I'm glad you didn't position the percussion to shock me again as revenge."

"It was tempting, believe me. However, I didn't want another slap from you."

It was a strange day, and some even stranger conversations, but as we traipsed across a city I was unfamiliar with, Andy and I got to know each other a bit more. In some ways he was becoming a male friend, which I'd never had before coming to this school. The final leg of the journey instructed us to split up and make our way in two different routes back to Euston.

Andy was quite surprised with that, "Are you okay to do this on your own?"

"Sure," I responded, trying to sound more confident than I was.

"You know which way to go?"

I looked at the tube map. "Yes, I'm going to walk along here to The Embankment, and get the northern line to Euston."

"Sounds like a good plan to me. Since you are taking the quickest route, I suppose you'll be there before me."

I was quite surprised to find Andy waiting for me at the exit from the tube at Euston.

"How did you do that?" I demanded.

"Do what?"

"Get here before me? I thought I was getting on the most direct tube."

"You were," he laughed, seeing my frustrated face. "I got a cab. The tubes seem quicker than they are. It's only two miles and pretty much a direct road. I also had a benefit of having a nutter of a cab driver. Gosh, getting paid to drive like that makes me want to do The Knowledge."

"The Knowledge?"

He grinned at my confusion. "Basically all the cab drivers in the centre of London have to know the streets of London by heart, and that's called The Knowledge. They have to pass a test which asks how they would get from point A to point B without using a map."

"All of London?" I was rather surprised. It sounded an impossible task. I pulled out my PDA to look it up. "You've got to be kidding. Six mile radius from Charring Cross. That's a huge area to learn."

"I think it takes a few years to do. Hey, there's Helen."

I rushed across and gave her kiss, which she blushed about. "David, we're in public," she moaned.

"How did you get on with Stacy?"

"Really well. I thought she might hate me, but she seemed okay. Someone even took our picture for us on the Greenwich meridian line. The last bit had us go different ways to here."

"Yeah, we had the same. I still can't believe Andy got back before me."

"Stacy said we should meet under the large timetable," said Helen, like she'd just remembered.

Andy's ears pricked up with that. "Then let's get going. We don't want her to worry where we are."

Stacy was waiting. "What kept you all?" she asked, her hands on her hips like she was impatient.

"You only just got here," I accused, after she'd had a big kiss from Andy.

"Sorry?" Stacy sounded like I was being impertinent.

"There are wet footsteps leading up to here. There is someone cleaning the floor on one of those sit on cleaners, who looks like they've just done this area. Hence, you have only just got here."

Stacy laughed. "Guilty as charged. I saw you all chatting, so went round the other entrance so you wouldn't see. Seems I'm not as good at sneaking as I thought."

"Or David's too observant," said Andy, giving me a friendly punch.

"Does anybody need toilet or a drink before we get the train back?" Stacy asked, again taking charge.

None of us did, and we made our way towards the platform. We weren't as lucky as earlier and the train we got on was the slow train which seemed to stop at every station. We sent in our results, which would be a signal to Rachel that we were finished and on our way back to the school.

Indeed, by the time the train pulled into the small Leighton Buzzard railway station, Rachel was waiting by the platform exit. She smiled as she saw us chatting away to each other.

"So are things now resolved?" asked Rachel.

"Not really," responded Stacy. My heart fell at that statement. Telling Rachel that would only lead to other talks about it. "However, we know we have to talk about it, we have and we will."

"Between the four of us," added Andy. I could have hugged him, but thought that a railway platform wouldn't be a fit place to do so.

"If you don't resolve it, then I will get involved," said Rachel in a businesslike manner. "All four of you know better than to let a situation like that develop."

Instead of the minibus, she had brought the Grand Voyager to pick us up. It was a lot more comfortable, and since there were only four passengers, it was quite nice. As we drove towards the school, I decided I needed to bring up the feelings I'd had which none of the other three understood.

"Rachel, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course. Ask away." Rachel sounded surprised.

"It's a bit complex. Is it unusual for someone not to be jealous that their partner is very close to someone else?"

"I think I need a bit more information than that," said Rachel.

I glanced at Helen, who was in the seat next to me, and she nodded, as did Stacy and Andy who were in the middle row of seats.

"The others couldn't understand that I didn't get jealous when I knew that Helen had a crush on Andy. In fact, it made me happy that she was happy."

Rachel now sounded a bit puzzled. "But you still love Helen?"

"With all my heart."

"Do any of the rest of you have an issue with David being happy like this?"

None of them did, thought they all made comments that they didn't understand how I couldn't be jealous. I'm not sure why, but being jealous seems so negative.

"David, do you have a problem feeling the way you do?"

"No," I replied after a little thought. "Why should I? Helen has been through so much, and if someone else caring too, can give help, and even make her happy, then that makes me happier."

"Then there isn't an issue. Why worry about something that isn't an issue for you or anybody else?"

We all rode on in silence. When Rachel drove us into the school grounds she broke the silence. "I know you all would like to get back to your friends, but I would be grateful if you could all join me in my office."

I glanced at Helen, wondering if we were in trouble. I saw similar glances between Stacy and Andy. Rachel must have noticed through her rear-view mirror as she said, "Don't worry. I said I wasn't going to discuss your feeling for each other unless you let it get out of hand. Edith wants to discuss the trip with you all."

I breathed a sigh of relief. I might have asked Rachel a question, but it wasn't something I was ready to talk about.

Our arrival back at school wasn't unnoticed. All the students in our two years were there to welcome us back.

"Sorry, but it appears they're not finished with us yet," explained Stacy to the waiting mob.

"They shouldn't be too long," added Rachel, almost apologetically, before leading us out of the entrance hall and up the grand stairs to the first floor.

Edith was waiting in Rachel's office and we were invited to sit.

"How was London?" asked Edith. She was sat back, with no sign of her PDA.

"I think we did all that was asked," Helen eventually responded, since she was being looked at.

"I believe that this was the first time on the subway for both Helen and David. Was it fun?"

"Subway?" I'd seen a Subway shop that was selling food, but that didn't make sense with the 'on the'.

"Underground," Andy and Stacy said in unison.

"I now understand it a bit better," I answered.

"And nobody pressed the issues button. I sat there patiently, thinking you would have called about 'the church located by a piece of bedroom furniture', but both teams seem to have sent in the picture with one of you outside St Andrew-by-the-Wardrobe. So how was the last item; being sent back to Euston individually?"

"Was that a test to see if we could cope out on our own?" I enquired.

"Yes," Edith responded without remorse. "How did you all do?"

"I was okay," I responded.

"Me too," said Stacy. The other two nodded in agreement.

"Was the underground to see how we coped, after hiding in one while in Moscow?" asked Andy.

"Of course. The rest was going to be easy, but I was asked to make it more of a challenge."

"Why waste an opportunity to learn," I offered.

"Exactly," said Rachel, speaking for the first time since we'd arrived down at her office.

"Now, the last bit of therapy from me," said Edith, leaning forward in her chair. "I asked all of you to list your favourite desserts or puddings. A very interesting list; some items I wasn't familiar with. Anyway, since you have progressed to this stage in your healing, I'd like to introduce something new. You and your partner are going to cook a dessert together. The top entry that David and Helen shared was Sticky Toffee Pudding. For Andy and Stacy it was something called Spotted Dick."

"Cook?" I said, slightly worried. My parents weren't the best cooks in the world, and my attempt at a Christmas Pudding was something I quickly wanted to forget about.

Rachel seemed to understand my anxiety and quickly stepped in. "Since you and Helen have not had the delights of the kitchen staff teaching you all their secrets, then they will guide and assist you."

"Think of this as a sign that the worst is over," continued Edith. "I'm not saying you won't have any more effects from your experience, but you are at a point where you can expect most of your time to be normal, or what passes for normal here anyway. Since these are some of your favourite dishes, it will also be a nice treat after the horrors you've suffered."

"Have you scheduled a time for us to do this?" asked Stacy.

"No. I've spoken with Justin and he's very much looking forward to sharing part of his kitchen with you."

I was slightly surprised. Cooking lessons were not conducted in the main kitchen, but in a similarly equipped classroom. Justin only let students into his kitchen to assist when he knew they were skilled enough to cook for the rest of the students.

"You better not set off the fire alarms again," I teased. "I doubt he would be as forgiving as last time."

Stacy shrugged. "It got the result that was needed."

Edith looked puzzled at the banter, but Rachel just waved it off.

"So does that mean our sessions with you are finished?" Helen asked Edith.

"That's right. I'm scheduled to fly home on Tuesday. Remember, if you need to, you can always send me an email or we can talk via the new video conferencing system."

"Thanks for your help," Stacy said. The sincerity in her voice was obvious to us all and we quickly added our thanks.

We got up to leave. Helen and I were behind Stacy and Andy when I heard Stacy say she would join the rest of year five in about an hour. She was going to do what she'd missed this morning. This reminded me I needed to speak with Rachel.

"Rachel," I said turning. "Do you have a minute?"

"Of course. This is the second time today you've wanted to ask me questions. If you're not careful, I'll think you've got over your aversion to chatting with me."

I smiled at her teasing. "I think it's me answering your questions that I'm still not happy about," I responded honestly.

Helen was hovering near the door, not knowing what this was about and not knowing if she should go or stay. I dragged her into the room, and firmly shut the door.

"Am I staying too?" asked Edith, having been shut in the room.

"Sorry," I said. "I don't mind. I'm sure you won't spread what I'm asking."

Edith shrugged, and sat back down.

"So?" said Rachel, when we were all seated.

"In Moscow, Andy asked me to make sure that Stacy took care of some medical stuff she had to do. When she went off to do it before breakfast the last morning, Jill mentioned the word dilation. However, when I looked it up, it just mentioned things like having babies, and eyes dilating. None of it makes sense."

Rachel looked crestfallen at my request and didn't immediately respond. "Why didn't you ask Jill?" she eventually asked.

I was surprised, as Rachel normally doesn't beat about the bush.

"Because she seemed to think I knew what was happening. I didn't want to appear thick. Don't you know what she was talking about?"

"Yes, I do, but you have me in an awkward position. I can't really discuss another student's issues with you."

"Oh."

Helen suddenly piped up. "I think David was really meaning what the word meant, rather than something specific with Stacy."

"Since I'm not familiar with Stacy's medical history, why don't I answer?" interrupted Edith.

"Thanks," sighed Rachel.

"So when you looked up the word, you saw that dilation means to get larger. When a women is about to give birth, her cervix dilates, or gets larger, to allow the baby to be born. However, what I think Jill was referring to is dilation after having Sex Reassignment Surgery. The body will naturally try to close any hole made into the body. Cutting your finger is a good example, the blood will clot the injury, and the wound will heal. It takes a lot longer, but after SRS, the body will try to close the newly created vagina. The patient uses what's called a stent to train the body to keep the vagina open."

Helen and I were blushing at the mention of the body parts, but Edith wasn't finished. "At first, the vagina won't be very flexible, and will not be able to accommodate a penis. So over time, as the body gets used to the stent, a wider version is introduced. Hence the word dilation."

"Stent?" I enquired.

Rachel got up, went to her cupboard and returned with what looked like a makeup bag with the word "Demo" on the side. Wordlessly, she passed the bag to me. I unzipped the top of the bag and saw what they were. I pulled out a few and saw they varied in thickness. They weren't out of the bag long, before Helen was quickly stuffing them back in.

"How often does someone have to dilate?"

"It depends on how long it's been since their operation. Someone who's had their operation recently might be dilating three times a day, while someone who had their operation a year ago might be dilating once a week or less. If they're having penetrative sex, either by a penis or a sex toy, then that can count as a dilation."

"So what happens if you miss doing the dilation?"

"It all depends how soon after surgery it was. If recently, then it will take a bit more work the next time. Several months after the surgery, nothing much happens, as long as it isn't repeatedly forgotten."

"Thanks Edith."

"Does that answer all your questions?"

"Yes, thank you." I turned to Rachel. "Sorry about asking my question so badly."

"Now run along, and don't forget to talk to Justin."

Once we were away from Rachel's office, Helen said to me, "I hadn't realised that she had to do that every day."

"Nor me."

"I suppose Emma will have to do this when she's had her operation."

"And me, if I do."

Helen stopped and looked at me with surprise. "I didn't think you wanted to."

"I don't, but sometimes it feels inevitable."

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