The Reluctant Bridesmaid©
By: Annette MacGregor

This story is based on a dream I've had off and on for a LONG time. To the best of my knowledge, the characters and events depicted in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental.

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Final Part (10)

"It's Jim's party, and we're going to dance." He reached out to grab Shelly, and I stepped forward to interpose. "Bug off, she nheedsh a man, *urp*."

He came up short at the end, as Louise was suddenly there, and had grabbed him. "Don't you think you've had a little too much to drink to be dancing?"

Frank tried to turn to her, but she seemed to have him in some sort of hold.

"You know, I thought I was off duty here, Frank."

"I was jusht ashking the lady to dance."

"Frank, back off before there's a disturbance. I think I see Jim coming this way."

That seemed to finally get his attention, as he quit straining. I heard him mutter something like, "Damn lezzies" to himself, but I ignored it.

"You two go on and have fun; I'll keep my eye on Romeo here."

"Thanks, Louise."

"Comes with the territory, I'm afraid. I doubt he'd be a problem sober."

We nodded, and went off.

An hour or so later, it became time for the bouquet toss. I always thought it was fun to watch the young girls hoping to catch it. Without fail, the guys seemed much less interested in catching the garter. As I didn't know most of the girls all that well, I was rooting for Karen, Samantha or Stacy. I was sad that Louise had decided to not participate, but I guess Frank was a bit of a handful.

"Everyone ready?"

"Spin her around good, Mary." I heard someone on the side yell. I guess she did, because I could see Carol stumble a little. I didn't think she'd be happy with that. "Throw it."

The bouquet went into the air, over her shoulder toward the side of the crowd I was watching, and all of the girls lunged this way. It hit one girl's hands and bounced. Suddenly it landed in my hands. I wasn't sure what it was at first, then I tossed it back into the air.

Carol had turned around by then, and squealed with glee. Stacy brought it over. "I think this is yours, Stevie. You can't toss it back."

"But, but."

I was already married, but Carol insisted it was mine. I guess, maybe I could save it for Carol, for her first anniversary.

"Oh, don't worry, it's just fun." Someone else chimed in. "At least we don't have long to wait to get married. She's already gotten that part done." That produced a fairly large body of laughter, and folks were ready to move on.

I was less looking forward to the next bit, but what could I do. I didn't pay that much attention to Jim taking the garter from Carol. Nor did I recognize the guy that caught the garter, so I'd not have the embarrassment of someone like Frank doing the job.

I sat in the chair they brought out, and the boy, he couldn't have been more than sixteen or seventeen, came over. Knowing what was coming next, I pulled the hem of the gown up a bit, and pointed my toe toward him.

He got the garter over my ankle, and as folks cheered, he moved it up my calf. It was a bit tight, since I'm more than a little bit larger than Carol. As it got toward my knee, "Come on, have pity on a girl. Much higher, and I'll have horrible wrinkles in this gown." That produced a laugh, but they did stop cheering and I was able to live with it just below my knee. I recalled the poor girl that had had to wear it at our wedding; it was clear up on her thigh. Luckily she'd been wearing a short dress.

The cake cutting went well, and they fed each other nicely. I'm glad the smashing of the cake didn't happen here. I mean, a few bites is one thing, but half a piece of cake in the mouth?

Stacy and I then helped Carol get ready to leave, and I suspect someone other than Frank, maybe his dad, helped Jim get ready.

"Stevie, Stacy, I'd never have made it without you."

"You'd have made it," I rejoined.

"She sure would have, but she'd have been, and driven the rest of us to, nervous wrecks. Thank you for being willing to do this Stevie. You make a great girl." I don't think she noticed my start at that, and I'm sure Carol was far too excited.

"Have fun, Carol. We know what today's date is."

She looked at me blankly, so I added another hint. "We can still count. It's not much work to add nine months to today's date." Stacy got it then, and started laughing, but Carol still looked confused.

"I'm not ready to be Aunt Stacy yet, okay, sis?"

Then, she got it. "Oh, you two."

I liked what they did instead of tossing rice, they tossed recycled paper confetti, which could be swept up and recycled again. Some folks tossed bird seed, but I think this probably had less opportunity for someone to get hurt by some kid tossing the bag, rather than opening it and tossing the contents. It'd also be less likely to get somewhere uncomfortable. I still recalled the bag of rice that hit me.

After seeing Jim and Carol off, the party broke up fairly quickly. Shelly offered Karen and Samantha a ride back to the hotel with us, and they were glad to accept.

"Thanks so much for the ride. I really wasn't looking forward to a cab ride in these gowns."

I laughed, and agreed with them.

"Oh, by the way," Samantha interrupted, "When are the two of you getting married again?"

That brought silence to the car.

"Ouch!" she yelped. Continuing, "I mean, you caught the bouquet, Stevie."

People relaxed then. "I thought that was determined at the reception. I'm already married, so I don't need to do it again."

"Sorry, Stevie, I guess I should have taken my shoe off before chewing on my foot."

"It's okay. I think I'm getting used to your sense of humor."

"It's a bit warped, I'm afraid."

We bid them goodbye, and went up to our room. "You really were stunning tonight, Shelly," I remarked while we undressed.

"I did make a bit of an effort. I couldn't have my spouse totally outshine me."

"You could have gone in a sack, and you'd still have been beautiful to me."

She laughed, "Thanks, dear. You still say the nicest things.

She stopped me before I got into my jammies, and asked me to wear my nightgown again. "Stevie's still here, she may as well be comfortable, don't you think?"

"Thank you. But, that brings up Monday." I indicated my hair, "This style is certainly something new for Steve."

"I thought of a story for that. You know how folks back home joke about how strange folks are out here?" I nodded agreement, having heard a few. "Well, we just say you had your haircut, and didn't see what they'd done until it was over and there wasn't time to cut it again. Then, since you want to donate, you will just be letting it grow back out, and get the back trimmed until it's all back where it needs to be to donate."

I nodded, seeing that I could even tell that story, since it was all true. If someone came out and asked me for more, I'd tell them, but she was right about that not being likely. They'd treat it as a joke on me.

"That takes care of the hair. I had a thought about the brows."

"What?"

"I could shave them off, as a result of losing a bet to you out here."

"That might work. Let's not worry about it tonight. Okay?"

"Thanks, honey."

She carefully took out the special earrings and cleaned the ears.

As she put the starter posts back in, "It looks like you were lucky, Stevie."

"That's good, Hope might have been angry if I'd gotten an ear infection."

Shelly laughed with me on that one. The funny thing is that Hope really would have gotten angry at my not taking good enough care.

Sleep that night, was almost a repeat of the previous night, except that she didn't start out as far away from me as she had. She started in her normal place.

We arrived at the airport, and again had no trouble with security. The flight itself was uneventful, a pleasant change from my last flight home. We arrived home; a good hour after the kids went off to school. I took care of getting rid of the nails again. It seemed like such a waste, but I needed to be as much Steve as possible. Our gown bags were in the back of the closet, and Stevie's other stuff was cleaned and put away. I went into my study, to catch up on a week's e mail. Quite a number needed quick responses. I was busy the rest of the afternoon, except for occasional trips down to the basement to move the laundry along and then to fold and put it away.

Hope came home first, and gave both of us big hugs.

"I missed you both sooo very much."

"We missed you too, honey. Were you good for grandma?"

"Of course, Daddy, but Henry..."

"Now don't tattle on your brother."

"Okay, Mommy. Can I have a snack?"

She went on to get her snack. Henry should be home too, they both went to the same neighborhood school. I went to look out the window.

"Henry's across the street with his friend Johnny."

"I'm not surprised. Skateboarding?"

"That's it."

I was glad that Hope was happy to see us, Henry would probably not even notice. It was Vicky I was worried about. We had an hour until she got home from the High School.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad." Henry came tearing in. He dumped his bag and lunch box, and ran straight for the bathroom. I've seen him move like that before. A few minutes later, we heard the flush.

"Go back and wash your hands."

"Aww, Mom."

"You heard her."

"Okay, Dad." He turned and went back in. "I really don't see why…" we could hear his muttering.

"You're right dear. Eventually, he should get the habit and it will keep him healthier."

Shelly nodded. I picked up Henry's lunch box, and started empting it. "He skipped his grapes."

"I assume his desert, whatever it was, is gone."

"Looks that way."

He was coming out at that point. "What was desert today, sport?"

"I don't remember. Can I go back out and play with Johnny?"

"Any homework?"

"Just my spelling."

I glanced over at Shelly, and didn't say no.

"Okay, after dinner then."

"Thanks, Dad."

Hope came back in. "Daddy, can you read to me?"

"Let me finish with your brother's lunchbox first. Oh, where's yours?"

"My box was dirty, so grandma gave me a paper bag with my name on it. She let me draw flowers on the other side."

"That's nice." I could see Shelly getting stuff out to start dinner. "What did you want me to read, punkin?"

"Good Night, Moon"

"We'll be in the den, if you need us, honey."

"Have fun, you two."

"Come on, Daddy."

I looked over at Shelly, and shrugged helplessly at her smile.

I read that story, and three others, before she'd had enough. "Are you going to read me one too?"

"Okay, Daddy. You pick."

I let her read a story to me. It was nice spending time with her, Shelly had read to the kids more often than I had, so this was a treat.

After she had finished, I heard someone in talking with Shelly. "I think Vicky's home."

That got Hope excited. She dropped her book in my lap, and took off. I carefully stacked the books to be put away later, and headed for the kitchen to see what her reaction would be. I may as well get it over.

As I came in, Vicky gave me a funny look, but came over and gave me a hug anyway. "Welcome home, Daddy."

"Thanks, how was your week?

"Same old stuff. I hope you and Mommy had fun out there."

"Mostly, it was interesting. The bride was beautiful."

She laughed at that. "Daddy, the bride is always beautiful."

"True. I think there's a rule about that somewhere."

"Well, I gotta go get started on my homework." She turned to Hope, "Come on, and tell me about your day."

At my look, she just smiled. Such wonderful kids. I gave a big sigh.

"Come over and stir this, would you?"

"Sure, honey." I took the spoon from her, and stirred the sauce she was making.

"I told Vicky the story about your hair."

"Thanks, I think. No, you're right, that's easiest."

Dinner that night was fairly quiet. I got Henry to bed while Shelly dealt with an excited, but tired, Hope.

"See you in the morning, sport."

"Night, Dad. PB and J tomorrow."

I laughed. "Okay. Mind if I use the strawberry jam?"

"Daaad."

"Okay, okay. It'll be grape."

"Thanks, Dad. Night."

"Sleep well, son."

I ran into Shelly in the hall, and she gave me a thumbs up. We quietly went downstairs.

"You going to strip your photos from the camera, honey?"

She nodded. "Stacy said she'd share what she got as well."

We went down to the den, and were looking through the pictures.

"You were really happy out there, weren't you?"

I turned toward Shelly. "Yes, but that's over now."

At that point, Vicky walked in. "Looking at photos from the trip? Can I see?"

"You just want to see the dresses," Shelly accused.

"Well, yours anyway. You wouldn't let me see it before you and Daddy went out there. You said it was a surprise for him."

"She surprised me all right."

Shelly laughed. "Sure, do you want to start at the beginning of the week, or somewhere else?"

"Can we start with the wedding, Mom? Knowing you and Dad, there are probably tons of pictures."

Shelly looked at me then and shrugged. "Sure."

As she moved to the right images, her computer chimed.

"Just a second honey. Let me check this. I'm expecting something."

She checked her mail, and "It's Stacy's pictures. That's your Dad's friend–Carol's–sister. She was the maid of honor, and said she'd collect some shots and send them to us. Since we've not seen them, let's start there."

She opened the archive, and we looked at the shots. A few were taken by the photographer's assistant using a small digital camera. I wasn't sure about the others.

"Here's the whole wedding party." Shelly went on pointing out when things were happening.

"There's your Mom and her gown," I interrupted.

"Wow, Mom, that's amazing! Can I have one like that for my prom in a few years?"

"We'll see, honey."

After a little while. "Daddy, I thought she was your friend."

"She is."

"Then, how come you're not in any of the pictures?"

The question I'd dreaded since we started. "You probably just didn't notice."

"I was looking, honest. Let's see Mom's pictures. I'm sure you're in there."

Shelly switched folders to the one she'd taken and started going through them again.

After we'd gone through at least two dozen, "I still haven't seen you, Daddy."

"You've just missed him, dear."

"You two are teasing me."

"Not really," rejoined Shelly.

"Okay, show me a picture Daddy's in, and wait until I can find him."

She looked at me. I shrugged. What else can I do? Should I leave the room? I raised my brows, and nodded toward the door. Shelly shook her head no, so I knew she wanted me to stay.

"That's a good one."

Shelly looked at it, "Yes, it actually is."

It was a shot of me dancing with Jim, with a lot of people across the field of view. My face was in clear view as well.

Okay, I'm going to find you. "This guy is your friends' husband, right?"

"Yes."

"So, that's not you. Now let's see the crowd." She zoomed the picture a bit, and looked at each member of the crowd. "You're not there."

"Yes I am. Zoom it back out," I said with some trepidation. I had no idea how she'd react to finding me.

"Okay Mom, I give up. Where's Dad?"

"I centered the picture on your father."

"Huh. But that's the groom and one of the bridesmaids." She paused then, and looked closer, then looked at me. "No, you've got to be kidding. I mean, this was a wedding, not a costume party. No." She turned and looked at me, and back at the picture, then back at me. "No, it can't be." She zoomed the picture. "Oh my go… It IS you."

"Well, you found me."

"I don't believe it. You just have the same hairstyle..." her voice trailed off at the end.

"Vicky, would you like to see the dress."

"Mom…"

"Come on dear."

Shelly took the laptop, and put it on the table. "Let's go up and see the gown, then we can explain."

Vicky got up, with a dazed expression, and followed Shelly upstairs. I'd caught the we in the 'we can explain', so I knew she wanted me there too.

In our bedroom, Shelly went into our closet, and brought out my gown. I got a lump in my throat just seeing it again. Perhaps we should have just left it in California, by accident sorta. It's not easy seeing it, knowing I'll never wear it or anything like it again. I sighed then, and Shelly looked up. I wish I knew what she was thinking.

"Vicky, your father was the matron of honor."

"You-your friend asked you to do this, Daddy?"

"Yes, honey. She did."

"How could she do it?" then she stopped. "How come you looked so much like a woman?"

I figured it was safe to answer the second half of the question. "A LOT of work and a crazy hair dresser did most of it."

"But, nobody realized you were a guy." I pulled back a little at that. Even though she didn't know, it hurt.

"Actually, I think that besides your father, the bride and myself, five others knew or figured it out."

"I don't believe this. My dad, a drag queen."

"No, that's not it," I started.

"Well, what else is it when a guy…"

"Stop right there, young lady," Shelly interposed. I guess I'm glad she did, I was shocked, and just sat back on the bed.

"Your father just came back from a very stressful event. He was there, because his oldest friend asked and needed him to be there. He worked his tail off to learn to do things so he wouldn't embarrass her, himself or me. You apologize for that right now." Blistering is probably the best word to describe what she sounded like. I don't think Vicky had ever heard her like that, I'd only heard her like that once before, on the trip.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

"No."

"Um. Dad, I'm sorry, but I don't understand."

"No you don't. You usually think before spouting. Now, that's enough for tonight. When you think you can be understanding, maybe we can tell you more. But, either way, you won't be talking about this."

She shook her head. It hurt to see her so confused. She was usually so collected she seemed much older than her fifteen years, I guess we also forgot.

I got up. "Vicky, I'm sorry you were shocked by this. We'd not figured out how to explain it to you yet. I want you to know I'm still the same person I was last month, and all your life."

She came to me then, "I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm not sure why I said it that way."

"Later, okay?"

"Yeah, okay, Daddy."

She headed off to her room. Shelly was still holding my gown, though it was folded over her arm.

"Well, that didn't go as well as it could have."

"No, I guess not. I'm sorry you got put into this position. I never wanted to hurt any of you."

"I know." She came over and gave me a much needed hug. "I guess I was more stressed over this than I thought. I shouldn't have gone off on her like that."

"It got her attention."

"I know, but, well, we'll work that out too." She stepped back. "Oh, I'd best hang the gown back up before it's too wrinkled."

She headed for the closet, as I said to myself, "not that it makes much difference. I probably should have left that in California."

Shelly turned. "No, it makes a difference. I learned that while we were out there. Sit down, and let me put this away. We need to talk."

I wondered what she wanted to talk about. I thought we'd agreed on what to do. I was worried now. Maybe just being Steve wouldn't be enough. So with quite a bit of trepidation, I sat and awaited her return.

"Steve, I saw a new side of you this past week. And, this afternoon, with Hope, just reinforced it."

"I'll get the hair cut tomorrow."

"That's not what I meant." She came over and sat beside me and took my hands. "You were more animated and," she paused a moment as if searching for words "I guess alive is the only word that fits. You were more alive than you've been except briefly here and there when you were with the kids. Seeing you reading with Hope reminded me of this."

"What do you want me to do?"

"It's not that. It's who you are. You're more than just Steve. I-I-I I want you to be all of you."

"But–we agreed."

"No, Stevie. I mean it. I still love you, and I guess I understand better what you tried to tell me months ago. Stevie's not going away. She's part of you. If I were to allow you to build a wall around that part of you again, I'd be afraid of losing a part of you that is so very loving and caring. Your reaction to Vicky's flippant comment was just one example.

"I don't know how, or what will happen, but I do know that Stevie will still be here, not just Steve. Whether it ends up as a part-time or full-time thing, we'll find a way to get through together."

I couldn't take it anymore, and the tears started flowing. Shelly reached out, and we hugged. I'm not sure when I realized she was crying too. I tried to pull back, saying, "I'm sorry."

"No, Stevie, don't say that. You're you. You're the person I married and have loved all these years. Whatever comes, we'll face it together."

It was probably at least fifteen minutes, but it could well have been much longer, before we pulled ourselves together.

"You look a sight."

"You do too, and I can't be as bad."

"Why?"

"No makeup."

"Oh, you silly." But she realized I was right. We went into the bathroom, and both cleaned up.

"I'd best go check on Vicky."

"Okay," Shelly returned.

I walked out of our room, and down to Vicky's, expecting to find her there, but I didn't.

I wonder where she is. I went downstairs. Then I heard a sound from the den, and found Vicky sitting in front of Shelly's laptop, rocking back and forth.

"You okay, honey?"

"Daaaady."

I realized she was crying, and rushed over. Kneeling by the sofa. "What's wrong?"

"Why'd you do it, Daddy?"

"It's a long story, but the first thing I have to tell you is I still love you, your mother and your brother and sister. That hasn't changed, and won't change."

"But," she started.

"Vicky, try to listen. This isn't easy for me, and it'll probably be harder for you, at first, anyway." I paused a minute. "If you can stop crying, I'd like to get up off my knees. They hurt."

She choked a laugh at that. "You're silly, Daddy."

I nodded, "Yes, but you're not crying so hard. Now, do you think I can get up and sit down?"

"Of course, Daddy."

I got up, and sat on the foot stool, so I could face her. "Here's the short version I guess." I took a deep breath. "I have a gender identity disorder. I don't really feel it's a disorder per se, but that's the technical term these days. Back when I found out what was going on, they didn't have that term. They just called it transsexual. What that means, is that as far as my brain, and I like to think, my heart are concerned, I'm as much a woman as you or your mother. Only, I was born with the wrong plumbing."

"Does that mean you're going to start wearing dresses and stuff?"

"I don't know. I doubt it, or at least not soon. I've been your daddy all your life, and have no regrets about that. You, and the others, are more important to me than something like that."

"How long have you known?"

"Known what to call it?" At her nod I continued, "I learned a few years before you were born. I was seeing a shrink to find out if I was crazy. Back then, I had no idea that there might be others that felt like I did. So I was trying to find out why I felt different."

"Mom's known all that time?"

"No, I never actually told your mom. I was going to before you were born. My friend was told, but just before I was going to tell your mom, she was in an accident. And things happened, you came along, and the others. I don't know that I'd ever have told your mom, if this wedding hadn't come up."

"You wanted to do this?"

"Yes and no. I originally told her no. But that's when I told your mom."

"You mean when you were sleeping in the guest room?"

"You noticed."

She nodded "I thought you'd fought, but I'd never seen you do that before. I was afraid something was wrong. I was glad when you made up."

"Well, your mom didn't take my news very well, and I really don't blame her. Both from what I am, but also because I'd not told her sooner, I think."

"But, didn't knowing you had this disease?" she had a question at the end of her voice.

"No, it's not a disease, or something that could be cured. It's just the way I am."

"Okay, but didn't knowing all this but hiding it hurt?"

"Sometimes more than others. Sometimes I would go months without it hurting, other times, it was all I could do to not say something." I took a breath. "I'm really sorry you had to learn about it this way, honey. I'd planned on putting all of this away, and just being your familiar old dad as soon as I could once we got back."

"But, someone else would have noticed the pictures."

"I know, it's something your mother and I forgot about. We'll just have to be selective about which pictures we show I guess."

"Is there anywhere I can learn more about what you're going through?"

"Sure, I can give you something that might help understand what it feels like, and later, I can point you to some places on the internet where you can see some explanations of GID and transsexualism."

"I'd like that."

"Okay, take your shoes off, and put them on the other feet and try to walk."

"Ouch. This doesn't work." Vicky quickly sat back down and put her shoes on the right way round.

I nodded. "It's sorta like that with my skin. It must be extremely hard for anyone else to really understand." I thought. "Remember your friend Jayne?"

She nodded. "Remember how she used to just tell you to run a little faster, or tease 'cause you ran out of breath climbing sometimes, because of your asthma?" She nodded again. "What happened last year, when she developed asthma?"

Vicky's eyes got big. "She finally understood what I'd been going through."

"Exactly. Being transgendered is sorta like that. It's really hard to truly understand without having the condition."

"Wow. Thanks, Dad. You are still my Dad?"

I nodded. "Of course, I'll always be your parent. I'll find you those web sites, and your mom may have found some in her searches the past few months. Then, maybe you'll better understand me as things get more or less back to normal."

I don't know how long Shelly had been standing there. "Normal will probably be different though. Sorry for blowing up on you earlier, honey."

She jumped up. "It's okay, Mom."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I was serious upstairs, Stevie. You're not going away. I don't know how things will work out, but we're all working this out together. You too, Vicky."

A week later, I still had the nice hairstyle. Neighbors just shook their heads. The looks I got at the store were actually fun to some extent. I'd always enjoyed surprising folks. The "yes, ma'–sir" reaction was almost funny. Shelly seemed even more relaxed around me, and, I was surprised that she let me, okay asked me to, wear the nightgown.

On awakening this morning, I found a little fuzzy box next to my glasses.

"Honey, looks like you left something out last night."

"No, that's yours." She was more awake than I'd realized at the time.

"Huh?" Okay, I really wasn't that awake yet, but I sat up in the bed, got my glasses and picked up the little box. I wondered what she'd gotten for me. "Now, what kind of thing would you have stuffed in here." I know what I'd put into a box like this all those many years ago. But, it couldn't be. "New earrings?" I asked laughingly.

"Just open it silly, and stop guessing. I think I've finally really surprised you though."

"This nightgown was a big surprise."

"Come on, just open it."

"Okay, okay."

I opened the box, and almost dropped it. "No"

"Yes, Stevie. You gave me one while we were in school. It's time I returned the favor."

"But, but."

She reached over, and took the box from my unresisting hands. I really was stunned. Then, she took it out, and carefully slid the ring onto my left hand.

"Every married lady should have two rings, if she can. I'm just sorry I neglected you all these years."

I finally broke out of my shock, and took her into my arms, showing how much I appreciated what she'd said and done.

Where do things go from here? None of us knew. I was only aware that my family loved me, and would be with me as we found out.

--- The End

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Author's Note: I want to thank all my alpha and beta readers for their thoughts and encouragement. I espacially want to thank my three editors/proofers whithout who's help, this would be a much worse story. Any problems remaining are mine. The story is complete with this posting. I hope you have enjoyed it.