The Reluctant Bridesmaid©
By: Annette MacGregor

This story is based on a dream I've had off and on for a LONG time. To the best of my knowledge, the characters and events depicted in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental.

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Part 7

"No way! There is absolutely NO WAY you're a guy."

I was quiet then. "No, you're both pulling a fast one on me, aren't you? Tell me you're Steve's wife, right?"

"No," I said quietly. "My wife, Shelly, will be at the dinner tonight."

"You're telling me you're a guy, and your wife's willing for you to dress like this?"

"Not exactly."

"Well, I'm not sure what you mean."

He was sounding more confused than angry, which was good–I think.

"Carol, maybe you could find some quiet spot we can stop and talk for a little while."

"I think that would be a good idea," Jim agreed.

"I'm sorry, Jim. I wanted to tell you."

"Just find a place to stop so we can talk, please." I reached forward, and put my hand on Carol's shoulder, and could feel how tense she was. "Relax, Carol, you need to get us somewhere safely." I could feel her relaxing under my hand."

"Damn," Jim said. "How did you do that?"

"I don't know, Jim. But it's worked since we were in college together."

Carol eventually found a park where we could stop. We all got out, and found a place we could sit. Luckily she had some towels in the trunk, or our dresses would have been messed up a lot. I sat close enough to touch Carol, but didn't.

"Now, Carol, don't tell me that asking Steve to be one of your bridesmaids was the thing he wouldn't do."

She nodded.

"How could you ask a guy, no matter HOW good a friend, to do that?" His voice was getting stronger as he went.

"Jim, she had reason to believe I might accept, I guess."

"What, you went in drag once to a Halloween party? That's not a reason."

"No, Jim, that's not it," Carol began.

"Be quiet. I thought I knew you!"

Things were going bad quickly, so I thought I'd better divert his anger to me.

"Jim, don't blame Carol. I'm the strange one."

"Are you a drag queen or something? I thought you were married!"

"Jim, please listen for a few minutes, and let me try to explain. Then, if you want, I can get VERY SICK, and miss the wedding."

Carol flinched at the last statement.

"Carol, it's HIS wedding, too. He has a say."

She settled down. "Sorry, Stevie. I was selfish."

"A little maybe. Now relax and be quiet." I took a deep breath. "Okay, Jim. The thing is, I'm what is called a transsexual. I'm a girl, who was born in a guy's body. I thought I was crazy growing up, well, once I was old enough to know I was different. Eventually talking with a shrink, I learned that rather than crazy, there's a name for it and there ARE others. Carol's known this for a long time. I told her, before I told my wife, because as a friend, I thought she might feel less threatened by this. No, that's not quite it. I actually showed up to visit her as Stevie. I was going to tell Shelly when I came home, but life got in the way. Shelly found out when you and Stacy almost forced me to agree to do what Carol was asking, to be one of her bridesmaids." I took another deep breath. "I've worked hard to be able to pass as a woman, and had a wonderful time. It's been living a dream. When I go home though, Steve will return, and that will see the end of this." I indicated myself. "Now, ask any questions you have, and know that Carol wasn't wrong to ask me."

He was quiet a while, and then asked a lot of questions. Finally, he turned to Carol who was tightly holding my hand. "Honey, you could have trusted me."

"It wasn't my secret to share, Jim." She gulped.

"No, I guess it wasn't. But, it's a secret that almost made me want to walk away, despite how much I love you."

"Jim, shall I go away so the two of you can talk?" I asked.

"No, it's okay."

"Do you want me to catch a ride back to the hotel and leave?"

He took a deep breath. "Not yet. I want to talk to your wife first."

I nodded, "Fair enough. Please don't embarrass her in front of everyone tonight."

"Of course not. While you two have kept things from me, and almost everyone else, I suspect she's more of an accessory. And from what you've said, not a wholly willing one."

"No, you're right there, Jim."

"Come on, Carol. Let's get to our party." As he pulled her up, I quietly let go of her hand.

She started shaking, and said, "I'm sorry, Jim."

"Something will be worked out, honey. You sit in back with your safety blanket and pull yourself back together."

We got in the car, and Jim drove us the rest of the way to the restaurant.

Carol was a real basket case at the beginning of the ride. She kept apologizing to both of us. I held her hand, and told her things would be all right. I think she half believed it. I think she was also worried that Jim might call everything off, despite his obvious, to me anyway, love for her. By the time we got there, she was doing better, but her makeup was in shambles.

"Jim, can we go in a side door and get to a bathroom? It wouldn't do for the bride to look like this the night before her wedding."

"No, it wouldn't and yes there actually is a back way in. Thanks for mentioning it. I'm afraid that issue would never have occurred to me."

He took us to a back door, and showed us to a restroom. "It's not as nice as the ones out where the customers go, but it's probably more private."

"Come on, Carol, let's get you ready for your public."

While she was better, she wasn't doing well. I pulled out my cleanser and cleaned her eyes. "You have your makeup?"

"Ummm. Yes." She just handed me her bag. I found enough stuff. Now, I was pretty good at my look, but could I manage something for her? Well, nothing like trying. A little liquid tears helped with the red. Then, talking to her all the time, I was able to get some liner and shadow on.

"Can you do your own mascara?'

"I think so, Stevie. What would I do without you?"

"You've got Jim. Hold on to him. I'm not really that important."

"But."

"No buts; he's a wonderful guy. You were right when you told me that. I hope you discover how right you really were, and you have as happy a marriage as Shelly and I have had." I choked a bit at the end, wondering if I'd be able to turn back into the man she wanted. "Now, let's get out and go in with Jim."

As we came out, Jim was standing there, and he gave me a strange look. He must have heard most of what we said. Well, I was being honest in there. I just hope Carol doesn't muck it up.

"Well, ladies, shall we? I believe we need to go meet the rest of the people. And, I do want to meet Stevie's wi–spouse."

"Thanks, Jim."

"Don't thank me. I don't want to cause disruptions any more than either of you do. I still plan on marrying this girl tomorrow," he said with a smile.

"How did you know this back entrance?"

He laughed. "I worked here when I was in high school. My uncle owns the place."

"Convenient."

"Actually, I think he might have come after me if I'd arranged for this to be anywhere else."

I laughed. "Families can be close. I hope it's good."

"Oh, I can assure you that the food will be very good."

"Uh, oh."

"What?"

"Well, the gowns are fairly carefully fitted. If the food's THAT good, I'll be tempted to mess up my diet and it might not fit."

He roared at that. "Just go for a looooong walk tomorrow." I thought the breaking of the stress was making things sound funnier than they really were.

I nodded. "If I get up early, and walk to the church..." I started to say.

"Stevie! You'll do no such thing." Carol laughed at me.

"No. I don't think it's that critical, but getting you to finally laugh, was."

"I have been kinda down, haven't I."

"Honey, that's putting it mildly. But things will work out. Now, through this door we'll find our friends."

We came out and it was a minute or so before anyone noticed us. I was looking around for Shelly, and saw her across the room, chatting with Karen.

"Shelly's here. May I tell her that we had a long talk?" I really need to talk with her. She needs to know what's happening.

"Of course. I'm thinking the two of you have enough issues. Carol and I will be okay for a few minutes, I'm sure."

I nodded agreement. It felt like things were beginning to unravel. The walls I’d erected, around my self so I could help Carol, felt like they were eroding. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take tonight. I made my way across the room to Shelly, greeting the other members of the party when I recognized them. Eventually I got to where they were standing, and Samantha came up with a glass of wine.

"You must have taken the scenic route, with the love birds," she quipped.

"Sorta. We actually did find a park to stop and chat in. It was kinda important for Jim and I to get to know each other."

Karen and Samantha laughed at that. "If she calls you as often as she did when we were in school, I'd say so. Hadn't you ever met him before?"

"We talked on the phone once," I said, looking at Shelly. "You haven't seen the facilities, have you? Jim brought us in the back way since we were running a bit late."

"That explains it. I'll see you later, and show this lost person the necessary." Shelly took me, and once we were out of the room. "What else happened?"

"You've always been able to read me; this time, I'm glad. Carol had never told Jim what she asked me to do."

"What? You're kidding, aren't you?"

"No. It's a bit worse than that."

"What could be worse?"

"Shelly, she told me at the rehearsal that I'm to be her matron of honor as well."

Shelly caught her breath, and I continued, "So it's not surprising that Jim didn't take it well."

"He seemed okay when you came into the room."

"That was after a half hour talking. I think, at one point, he was ready to call it all off, because Carol had asked a guy to do this and also cause she'd hidden it." She looked ready to say something, but I raised my hand. "Just a little bit more, please.".” While I was with the others, keeping the mask up had been easier. Now that it was just the two of us, my walls were rapidly crumbling.

"Okay. What else can there be?"

"I explained why I was willing to do this, and also gave him the option," I choked up a bit at this. "The option that I'd get too sick to attend, if he said so." I was holding myself awfully rigid at that point, to keep the tears from falling.

"Oh, Stevie." She reached out to me, and I lost it. I'd been able to hold myself together, when it was needed for Carol and Jim, but I couldn't any more.

"I–*choke*–I'm sorry." I cried on her shoulder.

Looking back, I guess it is a good thing that Reverend Willie happened to come by about then. I'm not sure what Shelly would have done. Me, I was falling apart.

We heard someone clear their throat. "Excuse me, ladies. I was looking for the men's room, and got a little lost. I couldn't help seeing you appeared to be in a bit of distress. Perhaps there's something I can do?" Then, he looked a little closer. "You're the matron of honor, that just found out today, aren't you?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak yet.

"I'm sure that anything can be resolved, given the Lord's help. Would you care to tell me, what you appear to have told your friend here?"

I looked at Shelly, and she shrugged. Perhaps Reverend Willie COULD help.

"I-I do-don't want to impose, Reverend Willie."

"I'm here for you child, if you want or need to talk."

I actually snorted at that. It had been a LONG time since anyone had called me ‘child'.

"There, that's a bit happier. Do you want to talk?"

"I-I think so."

"Why don't we go on down to that lounge then? My old knees would be happier if they could sit down."

We accompanied him down to the lounge, and I introduced him to Shelly.

"Shelly, this is the Right Reverend Dr. William Witherspoon, the one who will be marrying Jim and Carol. Reverend Willie, this is my spouse, Shelly."

I think I could see light dawning in his eyes, but probably for the wrong reason.

"Reverend Willie, I'm here under false pretenses. I'm not qualified to be a matron of honor, or even a bridesmaid really."

"You're Carol's friend, aren't you?" He looked a little confused now.

"That's not what I mean. I'm not physically–" I started.

"–No, Stevie. There are a lot of things I'm not sure about and don't really understand, but you ARE qualified to be a bridesmaid. Of that I am absolutely certain." Shelly interrupted.

"I don't think I understand, but, if you help, maybe I can," Reverend Willie said.

Then, slowly, we explained the situation to him. I think we were both glad to find someone we could talk about this with.

"I'm not sure I really understand what you're going through, but I do know the Lord puts challenges in front of us, and for some, the challenges are far more difficult than others and no matter the challenge, it is our duty to recognize the challenges and work through them." He then turned to me. "For you, it appears our Lord had presented you with some very large challenges. Remember that a burden shared is one that is easier to bear. Do not try to deal with it alone; our Lord is there to help those who ask."

"Thank you, Reverend Willie," Shelly said. "You've given me something to think about, and my spouse as well, I think."

"Don't hesitate to call on me again, if I can help you, my children. Now, if you don't mind, I think they will be running out of food soon, if we don't get a move on."

"We'd best be going then, Shelly. His assistant back at the church stressed how important food is to Reverend Willie."

"Now, that's not fair. The Lord's work always comes first, but when it's done..."

We both laughed. "Reverend Willie, I think you use that just to make people laugh."

"My child, you hurt me. Good food is the Lord's gift to us all, and we're missing it."

"Okay. Enough, Stevie, we'd best get back, before Carol climbs the wall or they think we've run off."

We returned to the dinner, and seeing that Reverend Willie didn't go looking for the men's room, I thought his comment about being lost was not necessarily quite legit but didn't really mind. Talking with him HAD helped. Just as we were about to re-enter the room, he said. "Of course, returning to the party with two such lovely ladies is sure to do MY reputation no harm."

I almost lost it then, and Shelly did laugh and was still doing so when we went into the room.

"Ahh, they've not served the meal yet. All is NOT lost."

Stacy came rushing up. "Are you two okay?"

"They're fine, I found the missing sheep. We just needed to talk a little."

Stacy looked from Reverend Willie to Shelly to me. "Okay, whatever. Can we sit down please?"

We made our way to the indicated table, and found ourselves at the table with Jim, Carol, Stacy, Frank and Reverend Willie.

Dinner itself went very well, though it seemed to me like a number of us were a little stiff, okay four of us, myself included. I wondered what Jim's decision would be, and what would come from his discussion with Shelly. Jim stood up and said in a raised voice that all would here, "Time to mingle again, so we can work off some of this excellent meal my Uncle has provided." He pointed to an older gentleman at another table, who nodded. "You'll want to walk around some too. There is another course coming that you WILL not want to miss. Uncle's deserts are NOT to be missed!"

Quite a number laughed at his announcement, but I didn't see anyone remaining seated, or trying to leave. Jim made his way over. "Shelly, would you mind having a short chat with me?"

"I was expecting it, but do you want to leave your guests?"

"Not really, but I do think it's important and I figure your SPOUSE–" I could hear his emphasis on the word–"can help Carol keep people circulating. I don't think we'll be too long. We certainly won't miss the desert." He actually smiled at that, though it didn't really reassure me.

"Come on Carol, we need to circulate."

She swallowed. "I don't see how you can be so calm."

I smiled, "He loves you, silly. You ARE getting married tomorrow."

We moved around the room, talking to the others. I met Carol's parents, as if for the first time, and met Jim's parents. Both couples were very nice, and were glad to meet Carol's matron of honor.

Jim's dad said, "Carol, this lady does seem to be all you described."

Carol's dad then chimed in, "I'd expected my daughter to be a bit hyper, to be quite honest. You have the same calming effect on her as that friend of hers from college."

Carol and I looked at each other, and Carol chimed in. "She knows his secret method."

"Well, however you do it, miss, I'm glad you can. I was amazed at how calm she was for most of the rehearsal, and then when they closed the door on us, Carol, you started shifting your weight and started asking the young lady ‘now?' every few seconds. Then, the door opened, and you were all there waiting for us and she calmed back down." He turned to his daughter. "Honey, you saw today that it wasn't long, tomorrow it'll be even easier with the music"

"I know, Daddy."

"I'll give you something to borrow. I told you I would."

"I know Stevie. I'm sorry, I can't help it. Something might go wrong."

I looked like I was thinking hard, "Yes, I guess you're right. The Sun could stop, and stand still the moment before the door opened." Folks were looking at me like I'd grown another head. "Yes, Carol, I think you're right to worry about that happening." I couldn't keep my serious face any longer, and broke into a big smile, and she settled down and shook her head.

"Why did I actually believe that might happen for a minute?"

"Because you like to worry, and I bet you were also trying to think of a way to fix it."

She hung her head a little, and both sets of parents laughed.

"She's got your number, honey." Her dad contributed.

"We should go see what's keeping Jim, don't you think?" I asked Carol.

"Good idea." I wasn't really sure if she thought it was a good idea or if she wanted to get away from the parents for a bit.

We worked our way to the door, and I saw Shelly talking with Karen, Samantha and Stacy. "I guess they're done. So, Jim should be around here somewhere. I helped her locate Jim, and started her in that direction. I was afraid to go too, for fear he might be telling me to stay away tomorrow. I wasn't ready to face that.

I then made my way over to where the others were standing.

Shelly saw me coming up. "Hi, Stevie. We'll be taking Karen and Samantha back to the hotel with us tonight, since Stacy is taking Carol home."

"Yes, once the party's over, those two are apart until they're married tomorrow," Stacy said firmly. "Do you mind if she calls if necessary?"

I looked at Shelly, who nodded. "Okay for an hour or so anyway. But we do need to go to sleep. Or, I guess after 7:00 am."

"I'll see you all at the salon in the morning then."

Karen and Samantha both acknowledged this, but I kept my silence. I didn't know yet. I swallowed, "Shall we say good night to the bride and groom then?"

"Louise just left, and I think Alice and Mary did as well, a few minutes ago," Samantha added.

We made our way over to Carol and Jim. I'm not proud to admit that I trailed behind a little. Shelly hadn't hinted one way or the other, if she knew his decision. As we got closer, I think Carol didn't know either, because she was acting a bit more nervous than usual around Jim.

As the others were saying good night, and telling Carol they'd see her in the morning. I stood by quietly, afraid to look at Jim.

To me, "I understand that the Something Borrowed is coming from you, Stevie."

"Yes, it will be there."

"I'm sure."

Why was he dragging things out? No, I deserved this, for contributing to the deception.

I sighed. "Carol will be a stunning bride."

--- Continued

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Author's Note: I want to thank all my alpha and beta readers for their thoughts and encouragement. I espacially want to thank my three editors/proofers whithout who's help, this would be a much worse story. Any problems remaining are mine. The story is complete, and will be posted in ten parts.