Antonette's Story A novel by Bronwen Welsh Copyright 2020

Chapter 5   The School Dance

Meanwhile, at school, there was dancing of a different kind. Miss Nightingale thought that young ladies should be able to ballroom dance, so we had a lesson each week. We only learned the basic waltz, foxtrot and quickstep, enough for us to manage at any social event we attended where there was dancing. Because there were only girls at the school, we had to take it in turns to be the 'boy' during the practicing. I found that I picked it up quite quickly; it was certainly easier than ballet dancing. I found it a breeze.

At the end of the school term, which was close to Christmas, we were given a chance to demonstrate our prowess with an evening dance to which boys from the local school, Francis Xavier College in Wood Green were invited. This generated a lot of excitement as you can imagine.

Mummy was excited too. Jeanette, her feminine daughter had left home, and knowing that the twins had no interest in pretty clothes and after them had come a boy, she had resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn't have any children to go clothes shopping with. Now all that had changed and she again had a very feminine daughter who was more than happy to go shopping any time.

The following weekend we hit the clothes shops and spent many happy hours looking for something suitable for me to wear to the dance. I tried on numerous dresses, which was a joy in itself before we finally found what we both agreed was the perfect one, green shantung silk with a full skirt worn over a stiffened petticoat, perhaps a bit 'retro', but so feminine-looking. It was also rather expensive in my eyes, far more than I could afford from my earnings but Mummy seemed only too pleased to pay for it. I could hardly believe my luck since that freed up my money for spending on makeup and jewelry.

However, as time went by and the date approached, I became rather concerned and wondered if I should go to the dance at all. I expressed my doubts to Mummy.

“Of course you should go, darling,” said Mummy. “You're a girl now and you should have the fun of dancing with boys.”

“But I'm worried, supposing a boy dancing with me realises that I'm not like other girls?” I said.

Mummy was smart; despite my reticence to come out with what was actually troubling me, she realised what the problem was.

“Don't worry about that darling, I'll find a solution for you.”

A day later she produced a 'shapewear' elasticated brief she had bought.

“I made some inquiries; this will hold everything tucked away and make sure you have a smooth outline no matter what happens,” she said. “Don't forget you will have a slip and a petticoat under your dress too. Any boy you dance with won't feel a thing.”

I hoped she was right.

The day of the dance arrived, and Mummy dropped me off at the school at six o'clock. The Assembly Hall was decorated with balloons and streamers, and a five-piece band was setting up on the stage. I was wearing my gorgeous new dress under which I wore a white petticoat as well as a full silk slip, both with gorgeous French lace around the hems. I felt completely confident, just as Mummy had said.

I also wore sheer tights in a light tan colour, my shoes with three-inch heels matched my dress, my newly manicured nails were varnished in a red shade that matched my lipstick and I felt like a million pounds with my carefully styled hair and evening makeup, courtesy of Mummy. Even the twins were impressed when they saw me before Mummy drove me to the school. The other girls were dressed to the nines too, so we spent the time while waiting for the boys to arrive, complimenting each other on our appearances.

There was one minor drama; Nancy Mudd probably had the biggest breasts of anyone in the school, including the teachers, and the dress she was wearing was showing them off to full advantage, a bit too full in fact. The story that flew around was that Miss Nightingale had spoken to Nancy and she was on the point of being sent home to put on something more appropriate. Luckily for her, one of the teachers produced a camisole which provided just enough extra coverage to let her stay. She was under strict instructions not to let it slip down.

Finally, the boys arrived, and huddled together at the hall entrance, finding safety in numbers I presumed, while the band played to an empty dance floor. They seemed to be staring at all us girls in awe. I felt sorry for them; thanks to our beautiful hairstyles, makeup, gorgeous dresses, sheer nylons, and heeled shoes, we were transformed from schoolgirls into young ladies. Despite shedding their school uniforms and appearing in suits or sports coats and grey flannel trousers, the boys were still just boys.

There was one exception, a youth who was taller than the others, with blond wavy hair. He was quite handsome, and didn't he know it! The band struck up a foxtrot and Mr Handsome strolled along the line of girls sitting along the wall (like so many wallflowers I thought), ready to make his pick. The girls all pretended not to notice him and I hoped he wouldn't choose me. I had made up my mind to refuse him if he did. I needn't have worried, Nancy already had her eye on him. Somehow she had managed to lower the camisole to give more prominence to her 'assets'. The youth was not immune to the implied offering;. he stopped in front of Nancy and without a word, offered his hand which she immediately took.

Now that one couple was dancing, it seemed to give the other boys confidence and they started to walk across to us too. One boy with a studious face and black-rimmed 'Buddy Holly' glasses attracted my attention. He looked uneasy, so as he was about to pass by, I gave him an encouraging smile and he stopped and in a nervous voice said: “May I have this dance please?”

“Yes, thank you,” I replied, and took his proferred hand. We began to dance and I was pleasantly surprised that he was quite good, well he didn't tread on my toes anyway!

“My name's Gary,” he said.

“I'm Antonette; I'm pleased to meet you, Gary,” I responded.

“'Antonette', that's a pretty name,” he responded. I wondered if the boys had received coaching on 'making conversation with girls'? I very nearly said 'I chose it myself', but stopped myself in time. That might have led to awkward questions!

“I came to a dance here once before, but I don't remember seeing you,” he said.

“I only recently started here because it's a better school than my previous one,” I replied. “Are you studying with a view to a particular career?” I asked, subtly changing the subject.

“I'd like to be an astronomer, so I'm studying science subjects and mathematics and then I want to go to university to continue my studies,” he responded. “A lot of people think astronomers spend all their time looking through telescopes, but there's a lot more to it than that.”

“I can understand that, how else could you predict things like the next eclipse? That must take a lot of mathematical knowledge,” I responded and he seemed pleased with my comment. I hoped I was showing him I wasn't 'just a pretty face'. (Oh dear, does that sound boastful?)

“I do have a telescope at home; I built it myself,” he said. I was genuinely impressed.

“Wow; that's amazing,” I responded. “Did it take you a long time?”

“About a year. Maybe you'd like to see it sometime?” he said and then perhaps he thought the offer a bit premature because he hurriedly said: “What about you, what do you want to do?” I could have said that I wanted to be a ballet dancer but I thought he might find that a bit shallow, and suddenly it was important to me what he thought, so I responded that I wanted to go to university and maybe become a teacher. He nodded, obviously thinking that was a serious response.

As we danced, we passed Nancy and the blond boy. I noticed that they were dancing so close it looked like their bodies were glued together. That certainly wasn't how we had been taught to dance, but I suspected it was having the desired effect on them both.

The bracket of tunes came to an end and I thought that might be it, but Gary asked if I would like a drink. I didn't really need one but I accepted of course and holding my hand, he led me to the table in the corner of the hall where soft drinks were provided, and we both took an orange squash.

“Do you find it hot in here?” he asked. “We could step outside for a minute if it's not too cold for you.” Again I accepted. I really liked this boy and wanted to talk with him some more.

He was right, it was a bit chilly, being December. I involuntarily shivered, and he took off his coat and put it around my shoulders. I thanked him of course, clearly, chivalry was not yet dead! We chatted for a few more minutes and then went back into the hall.

“I guess other boys will want to dance with you,” he said as he led me to a vacant seat.

“Some girls might want you to dance with them,” I responded. “But I hope we can dance again later.”

There was an awkward pause and thankfully, April came up, so Gary said “Thank you again” and walked away.

“I think you have scored an admirer there,” said April.

“He's really nice,” I said

“I'm going to the 'Ladies', would you like to come?” she said. I wasn't really supposed to go there, but I glanced around and the few teachers present seemed fully occupied and with all the people there they probably wouldn't notice, so I agreed.

The girls' toilets were a world away from the ones I was used to at the boys' school especially on this occasion. Besides using the cubicles, girls were adjusting their hair, touching up their lipstick and gossiping. One girl, I think her name was Rose, was holding forth th a rapt audience, and we edged closer to hear what she was saying.

“Charlie invited me outside for a breath of fresh air.”

“Is that what they call it now?” one of the girls said, giggling.

“Did he push his tongue down your throat?” asked another.

Rose was unfazed. “Well he's a good kisser if that's what you're asking,” she said. “Anyway, we were snogging when some distance away, I heard this muffled squealing and grunting, so I put my finger to my lips, took Charlie's hand and we crept closer to see what was going on.”

“Do tell,” said several of the girls.

“It was Nancy, of course. The tall blond guy had her backed up against a wall, her skirt was around her waist and they were going at it hammer and tongs.”

“Did they see you?” asked one girl.

“Nah! They were too busy screwing. We watched them for a couple of minutes and then crept away and started to snog again. Charlie said 'That looked like fun,' but I said 'No way, José, it's too damn chilly out here.' I did give him a squeeze though. He's got a nice package; maybe we'll get together sometime.”

Listening to all this I was frankly shocked. I had thought that all the girls at the school were proper young ladies, but it seemed I was wrong. April saw the look on my face when we left the 'Ladies' and made our way back to the hall.

You don't want to believe everything they say,” she remarked. “Some girls like to make out they're having sex with their boyfriends because it makes them sound more mature. As for Nancy, I can believe that, because I've already heard that she's the town bike.”

April saw the puzzled look on my face and explained what it meant. The visit to the school 'Ladies' had certainly been an eye-opener for me. As we reached the hall April said that the boys we had been dancing with, Gary and Michael, would be waiting for us, and she was right.

“Maybe we can do a double date?” she suggested.

“I don't know that he's going to ask me out,” I said, doubtfully.

“Oh he'll ask you alright,” said April, and again she was right.

Gary and I had another dance and then he asked me to excuse him for a minute. Obviously he was heading for what had been temporarily designated the 'Boys' Room'

We had all been told not to refuse any request from a boy to dance with them. One of the girls had commented, “We can't damage their fragile little egos by refusing them!”

While Gary was gone, a short, thickset boy came up and asked me to dance. I accepted but quite soon wished I hadn't. For a start, he was not a good dancer and trod on my foot within a few steps. In addition, he had little or no conversation and insisted on pulling me hard against him so that I could feel his erection. If he thought that this would excite me, he was sadly mistaken since it had precisely the opposite effect. I wondered how to get away from him and used the first opportunity when he trod on my foot again. It did not really hurt me but I cried out as though I was in great pain. To give him his due he stopped dancing and looked concerned.

“I'm so sorry,” he said.

“I think I'll have to sit the rest of this out,” I replied. “Could you help me to a seat please?”

As he helped me to a seat, (I was doing a great show of limping), I made sure it was a single one between two girls, so that he couldn't sit beside me. Then I thanked him and watched him walk away. with a rather hangdog air.

“What happened?” said the girl sitting beside me.

“He was an dreadful dancer and kept pulling me towards him to feel his 'thing'. I used the excuse that he trod on my foot to get away,” I replied.

She giggled. “Good for you. Aren't some of the boys awful?”

“Some, but not all,” I replied, seeing Gary walking towards me.

“I was wondering where you had got to,” he said, so I explained how I came to be in a different seat. “I'll have to pretend to be crippled for a bit,” I said. “But I hope we can dance again soon.”

Gary and I danced exclusively with each other for the rest of the evening and I could see that he was plucking up the courage to ask me out, so without being too direct, I tried to give him every encouragement. We reached the last waltz and I thought he was going to squib it, but at long last, he said: “I don't suppose you'd like to go out with me?”

“I'd like that very much,” I said. “Would you like my phone number?” That was perhaps a little forward of me, but if he didn't have it, how would he contact me?

I knew that Mummy was waiting for me outside the hall, so as the band finished the tune I said: “Thank you so much, Gary; I've had a lovely evening, and I look forward to hearing from you.” Then I kissed him on the cheek. He looked a bit startled but very pleased. Smiling, he said: “Thank you so much Antonette, I've had a great time too, I'll ring you soon.”

I explained that Mummy was waiting for me, so we said 'Goodnight' inside the hall. When I slipped into the front seat of the car, Mummy looked at me and smiled: “You look like you've had a good time,” she said.

I smiled too. “I met this really nice boy called Gary and he's going to ring and ask me out.”

Mummy smiled” “Congratulations! Your first boyfriend.”

As Mummy drove us home, I was silent for a while, something she picked up on.

“What's on your mind, darling?” she said.

“Mummy, if you have a boyfriend, does that mean you have to have sex with him?”

Looking back now, I wonder how she kept a straight face.

“Why do you think that darling?” she asked. I told her about Nancy and the blond boy from Francis Xavier College.

“From what you are telling me, it doesn't sound as if they are actually boyfriend and girlfriend, they just met up tonight and decided to have sex. Some girls think that that's the way to keep a boy, but look upon it another way; if you give him sex the first time you meet, then what's to stop him going off and looking for another girl who will do the same thing?

“To answer your question, no, you certainly don't have to have sex with a boyfriend; in fact, at your age, I think it's probably better if you don't have sex. There's time for that later when you are serious about each other or even married. Do you think that Gary is the sort of boy who might ask you for sex?”

“No, I don't think he is, although he might feel pressured by the other boys to ask for it, like a 'rite of passage' thing,” I responded.

“Well, you are getting older now, so I can only offer advice rather than give you an order. Yours is a special case of course, but if Gary did ask for sex, you obviously couldn't oblige, and if he wouldn't accept that, then the only option is to stop seeing him, but let's give him the benefit of the doubt, shall we? I take it he has no idea about your special circumstances?”

I blushed. “No, he doesn't. I would like him to think I'm just a normal girl, having a nice friendship with a nice boy,” I replied.

“I think that sounds like a great idea,” replied Mummy. As she continued to drive us home, she asked more about Gary and I think at that stage that she was fairly convinced that he wouldn't be leading her daughter down a path where she didn't want to go.

I expected Gary to ring me the next day and ask where I would like him to take me to, but there was no phone call. I felt very disappointed and wondered if after sleeping on it, he had decided that I wasn't the girl that he wanted to take out after all. Mummy said nothing, but I'm sure she saw me wandering around the house with a long face and guessed the reason. Looking back, I think that she knew this was all part of the growing up process; sometimes in life, we have disappointments.

The following day was Monday and I went to school. The whole place was abuzz with who had linked up with what boy or boys and stories about what had gone on, especially what Nancy had done, for anybody who hadn't caught up with it. I think Nancy wondered why everyone seemed to be staring at her and some were giggling behind her back. She thought she had been very discrete in her liaison with the young Adonis outside the hall, but it's hard to keep a secret in a girls' school. She must have quizzed one of her cronies in the end because she was soon walking around with a face like thunder, and Rose was keeping well out of her way.

In the end, the two girls clashed and there was a real catfight, broken up by a couple of the teachers. They were both hauled up before Miss Nightingale who demanded to know the cause of the contretemps, but both girls refused to go further than say it was a difference of opinion. They were put on notice that another such incident would result in them both being suspended.

When I caught up with my friend April, she asked if Gary had phoned me yet to arrange a date. With a long face, I admitted that I hadn't heard from him.

“Don't worry, he'll call. There could be any one of a dozen reasons why he didn't ring you yesterday,” said April. I wondered if she was just trying to cheer me up.

“Has Michael rung you to arrange a date?” I asked.

“Well, yes he has. He's actually a friend of Gary's and when I spoke to him on the phone yesterday he asked me about my friend, the pretty girl, saying that Gary couldn't stop talking about her, so there's your answer, he'll call you for sure.”

I must admit that cheered me up a lot and the fact that he thought me pretty was a bonus. I was so glad that April and I had become firm friends so quickly. It was a bonus having a friend about my age to help me in my quest to become a proper girl. She constantly gave me hints and tips, things I never would have thought of myself. I think she rather enjoyed being my mentor.

That evening, Gary phoned, full of apologies for not ringing on Sunday.

“I put your phone number away in a secure place and then I forgot where it was,” he said. “I was in a real panic until I found out that my friend Michael is going to go out with your friend April, and then I knew I could get in touch with you again. Then, of course, I found the paper with your number on it.”

I didn't tell him about how worried I was that he wasn't going to ring me; well a girl has to keep her self-respect! He asked if I'd like to go to the pictures on Friday night and of course, I accepted the invitation. The nearest cinema complex has about six films showing at once, so I felt sure we would find something that we both wanted to see. We chatted for a while before we hung up. I was so pleased and relieved that I'd heard from him.

The next day at school, I was able to tell April that Gary and I had made contact and our date was arranged for Friday evening.

“April, is it alright to kiss on a first date?” I asked her.

“If you really like the guy or course it is,” she replied. “I presume you are referring to kissing on the lips rather than the cheek? If you are taken out but don't feel compatible with the guy, then a kiss on the cheek when you part is a nice letdown and usually indicates that there won't be another date.”

“Wow, there's more to this than I thought,” I said. “Another thing, I hope you won't think I'm naïve, but I've heard of French kissing, but I don't really know what it is.”

April smiled. “It's a form of kissing where you explore each other's mouths with your tongues. It's usually a progression from a closed mouth kiss when you are really getting into it with a boy.”

I knew I was blushing but couldn't help it. “Have you done it and do you really enjoy it?” I asked.

Now it was April's turn to blush. “Yes I have and I really enjoy it, with the right guy of course. I'm sure I'm going to enjoy it with Michael.”

I loved having girl-chats with April. I couldn't imagine boys having the same sort of chats with other boys.

To be continued.

Next Time: Our first date