Antonette's Story A novel by Bronwen Welsh Copyright 2020

Chapter 13   Performing and more at Stratford

A couple of days before rehearsals started, Jack and I drove to Stratford in his little old Morris Minor. He had never been to the home of Shakespeare before. I knew it slightly from my previous visits and had offered to show him around before work started in earnest. We pulled up outside Aunty and Uncle's house and got out. Jack easily swung my rather heavy suitcase out of the boot along with his own. I wasn't surprised at that since he was very strong and if he could easily lift me while dancing, a suitcase was no problem at all. I suspect Aunty was watching from the front window, as the moment we arrived at the front door, she opened it before we had time to knock.

“Antonette, darling!” she exclaimed and gave me a hug and kiss, and then said, “And this must be Jack!” I could see by the way that she looked at him that she was greatly impressed.

“Good afternoon, Mrs McDonald. Thank you so much for allowing me to stay at your home,” said Jack.

I could have sworn that Aunty Tess blushed slightly as she replied. “It's our pleasure, Jack.”

Uncle Terry appeared then and after greeting me, was introduced to Jack. He shook his hand and offered to bring one of the suitcases in despite Jack saying that they were a bit heavy. He tried to lift one and then agreed that it would be better if Jack brought it inside, which he did easily.

“I didn't realise that you ballet chaps did weight-lifting,” said Uncle Terry.

“He has to lift me and other ballerinas as part of the choreography,” I said.

“Really? I'm sorry, I never watched the ballet, something for the ladies I thought, so I didn't know,” said Uncle Terry. I determined to try and get Aunt Tess to bring him along to see us perform.

Aunt Tess put on the kettle for a cup of tea since it was mid-afternoon, and we sat down for a chat. We told her what ballets we would be performing in and said we hoped that they would both come to see us perform as our guests. Aunt Tess was most enthusiastic about this so I was sure that Uncle Terry was going to his first ballet whether he really wanted to or not!

Jack said: “Mr and Mrs McDonald, we don't want you to be out of pocket over your kindness in letting us stay with you while we're in Stratford. We are getting an extra allowance over our usual pay to offset the cost of accommodation while we are on tour, so I hope you will accept that and let us know if you don't think it's enough.”

When we told them how much we proposed to give them, they at first demurred and said it was too much. We said that if we stayed elsewhere in a bed and breakfast, it would have cost easily that much, so they finally accepted it. I had heard from Mummy that they were living on the age pension, so I'm sure they found the extra money very handy.

After tea, we were shown to our rooms upstairs, which were bright and airy, each with a double bed. My bedroom had a dressing table with a large mirror. I knew that Aunt Tess and Uncle Terry had no children of their own, so I suspected that they were looking forward to having us stay with them for about six weeks. It could even be longer if the tickets for the season sold well. After unpacking our clothes and hanging them up in the generous wardrobes, I took Jack out on a brief tour of Stratford, including the house where Shakespeare was born and the church where he was buried. We drove past the theatre complex and Jack was very impressed with its size.

“All this happened because a middle-class country gentleman became the most famous playwright in the English-speaking world,” he said as we drove past crowds of tourists who flock to the town every day of the year.

When we arrived back at the McDonald house, Aunty was ready to serve up a lamb roast dinner. The smell of the cooking which wafted into our nostrils as we entered the house was mouth-watering.

“I don't know what dancers normally eat,” she said. “I imagine you have to keep a close watch on your weight, but I also think that with all the energy you expend, you do need to take in quite a few calories.”

We assured her that the roast dinner was very nice indeed, but she was right, we did have to watch our weight or we wouldn't fit into the costumes!

We went to bed fairly early as it had been a busy day, and I kissed Jack on the cheek as we retired to our rooms. The following morning we were up early to exercise, something dancers must do every day to keep our muscles in tone. Uncle Terry discovered us both in our leotards in the back garden doing exercises including lifts. “Now I know why you found lifting those heavy suitcases so easy,” he said.

A couple of days later, we arrived at the theatre complex at nine o'clock for our first rehearsal. We were shown the theatre and walked over the stage to get accustomed to it. There are also rehearsal rooms adjoining the auditorium, complete with mirrors and barres. We were given a rota of performances including matinées and evening performances for each of the three ballets, and a list of rehearsal times for each production. I was glad we had come to Stratford early so that I could show Jack around as from now on it would be 'full-on' work.

We exercised and rehearsed eight hours a day, six days a week and really looked forward to our one day off each Sunday, though even then we did some exercising at home, as we now thought of the McDonald's house. We had explained to them that dancers keep strange hours when performing, finishing late at night and usually sleeping until at least nine o'clock in the morning, sometimes later. We were given a house key so that we could come in and not disturb our hosts since Aunty and Uncle usually went to bed fairly early.

'Cinderella' had been chosen as the first ballet of the season, and there was a rumour that royalty might be present for the Opening Night. We spent long days at the theatre complex rehearsing and one day as I was walking through the galleries between the auditoriums, I saw a familiar figure walking towards me.

“Antonette! It really is you!” It was Harriet Stow, or Dame Harriet as she now is, although she insisted I call her plain Harriet.

“I heard that you were performing at Stratford. How are the rehearsals going?”

I smiled at her. Harriet and I had history as you know and it was great to see her again, now that I was a woman too. “Well, you know what rehearsals are like, plain hard work so we can make it look easy on the night,” I replied.

“Don't I know it!” she replied. We both had time for a coffee, so we sat in the complex's café and caught up with what each other had been doing and I had some good news to share with her. As a First Artist, I had been selected to understudy for the part of 'Natasha', one of Cinderella's stepsisters. This meant even more work of course, but the company had a tradition of allowing understudies to perform in one or two matinées during the season, which was an incentive to work even harder.

“I do hope your parents and sisters can come to Stratford and see you perform,” said Harriet. “I remember my understudy days and how exciting it was when I was called upon to perform.”

I thought it better not to say that I only had one sister who would come to see the ballet.

“There's even a 'pas-de-deux' with the two stepsisters when they try to get the prince's attention at the ball,” I said. “Of course they make a real mess of it. I've done some rehearsing and it's actually hard to dance badly when your body is telling you that you are doing things wrongly.”

“Well I absolutely must attend a performance when you play 'Natasha' if I possibly can,” said Harriet. “I'll also see if one of my flatmates Frances can get a day off work and come along, I'm sure she'd love it, she's a trans girl just like us but she hasn't had her surgery yet.”

I sat looking at her with an open mouth and she suddenly smiled and said: “Didn't you know about me?”

I shut my mouth with a snap and stammered: “I had absolutely no idea. So when you first saw me in a dress and told me about a friend of yours who was trans, that was really you?”

Harriet smiled: “I'm sorry but I really couldn't tell you then, I was only just getting into living as a girl myself and I had to keep it a secret; the fewer people who knew, the better. Of course, one of those wretched tabloids accidentally found out about me eventually, and there I was, splashed all over the front page, but the world moves on and soon there's another sensation to replace the previous one. I doubt if anyone remembers it now. It might happen to you too, so be prepared for it.

“I doubt it,” I said, “I'm not famous so nobody will care.”

“Fortunately for us, it's a lot more common nowadays. I really take my hat off to those pioneers who first underwent transitioning, especially the surgery, they were brave women,” she said.

I wasn't the only one to get an understudy rôle in 'Cinderella', as Jack had been given 'Nikolai', the Prince's best friend, an even more important part than the one I had secured, but I was so pleased for him, just as he was pleased for me.

I've already mentioned that Jack was very handsome, and most of the single women in the company, and I regret to say, some of the married ones too, did their very best to get him to notice them, but without success. I remember one coming up to me and pleading for help

“You're his friend Antonette; what must I do to get him to notice me? I'd jump into his bed like a shot, but while he's very friendly and polite, I know he just doesn't see me in that way. I thought at first he must be gay, but you assure me he's not.”

“I'm afraid he is too focussed on being the best dancer he can be. He's told me that there is plenty of time for romance down the track, but for now, it's all about the dancing,” I replied, and she went away disappointed.

The Opening Night arrived. If this was a story, the girl playing 'Natasha', would have fallen and sprained her ankle, thus giving me my big chance, but those things don't often happen in the real world, and as a result, I danced in the corps, which I still enjoyed very much. There was royalty present in the royal box which caused a stir amongst the audience. They wondered why we started late until they saw who was entering the box. Royalty is never late of course because nothing can start before they arrive! Something I've always wondered is why royalty receives applause for not doing anything other than just turning up? Perhaps I'm a republican?

The performance went very well and we had many curtain calls and a standing ovation. After the performance, the principal dancers were introduced to our royal guests, but there would have been too many people to introduce the male and female corps, so we missed out. I really wasn't that bothered.

In the other two ballets, both Jack and I were in the corps with no understudy rôles which were shared amongst the First Artists. True to the management's promise, I was scheduled to perform at a matinée a couple of weeks into the season and I immediately telephoned Mummy and Jeanette to tell them and fortunately they were able to buy tickets and come up to Stratford. Aunt Tess also attended, bringing along a slightly reluctant Uncle Terry, and Harriet and her friend Frances were also there. I had quite a fan club in attendance! After the performance, we had some tea together in the complex's café and I basked in their compliments.

“How on earth do you manage to dance on your toes? It looks so elegant but it must be so hard to do,” said Aunt Tess.

“We wear special ballet shoes called 'pointe shoes',” I replied. “We also do a lot of training to strengthen our feet. The aim is to make it look easy, but that takes a lot of practice.”

Aunt Tess was very impressed to meet Harriet, whom she had seen on stage, and Mummy was pleased to meet up with her again. Harriet is a truly nice person and so modest about her talents. She really is my rôle model.

Jack and I really enjoyed 'living together' at Aunty and Uncle's house. We got on so well together and helped out with the housework when we could. Our hosts soon got used to us arriving back at the house long after they had gone to bed and then getting up a few hours after them. Such is the life of a professional ballet dancer.

When we arrived back at the house after a performance we were always careful to be very quiet not to disturb Aunty and Uncle. We often had a quiet cup of tea before going to bed as part of 'winding down' after the performance. One evening I noticed that Jack seemed very introspective and I wondered what was the cause.

After a long silence, he said: “Antonette, have you ever thought about getting married?”

At first, I thought he might be just making conversation, so I replied: “Well, most girls think about getting married, but in my case, nobody's ever asked me or is ever likely to.”

Another long pause and then he said: “So there's nobody you'd like to marry?”

I suddenly realised exactly where this conversation was going, but I wasn't going to make it easy for him. I had a funny quivering feeling in my stomach as I had a suspicion that I was about to be asked the most important question of my life.

“Well, there was somebody, but he made it clear that he wasn't interested in getting married, at least not for many years,” I replied.

“Oh!' said Jack. Was he slow on the uptake? “Well, supposing I was to ask you, what do you think your answer might be?”

If this was a proposal, it was being done in a very roundabout way, and I suddenly had an inspiration. This might sound crazy and totally out of character for me, but I suddenly stood up and held my hand out to Jack. “Come on,” I said.

“Where are we going?” he asked

“You'll see.”

Taking his hand I led him up the stairs to my bedroom. When I closed the door behind us, I leaned back on it and said: “Jack, you're looking at a girl who likes to try before she buys.”

The sun streaming in through the bedroom window woke me first. I turned my head and saw the light shining on the curls of Jack's head on the pillow beside me. He was still in deep slumber. Poor darling, I think I had run him ragged the previous night. I leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. His eyes slowly opened and focussed on me. “Hello you,” he said quietly.

“Hello yourself. Did you have a question you wanted to ask me?” I said.

Jack smiled up at me. “Yes I do, a couple of questions actually. Referring to your remarks last night about liking to try before you buy, did the goods come up to your expectations?”

“Indeed they did,” I replied. “I'm sure they will give excellent service for many years to come. Was there anything else you wanted to know?”

Jack smiled: “Yes. Antonette, darling, will you marry me?”

“Of course I will, darling,” I replied. It was so obvious to me now that I had been in love with him for years and had somehow suppressed my feelings because of what I thought his feelings were. Last night Jack had led me to take the final step in acknowledging to myself that I am totally a woman. Our coming together as one was more wonderful than I could ever have imagined.

“I just have one question, darling. What made you decide to ask me last night in such a roundabout way?"

"I've been trying to find the right time to ask you for ages and it never seemed to happen. To be honest, I wasn't quite sure what your reply might be, and I wanted to give you a way out,” he said. Well, that's men for you.

“Couldn't you see that I've been in love with you for years?” I asked.

“So why didn't you tell me?” asked Jack. “You must know I've been in love with you too?”

“Oh darling, I remember you telling me soon after we met that you weren't interested in romance, just in being the best dancer you could be. That sent a pretty clear message. so I was scared that if you didn't feel the same way as me, then it would have ruined our friendship which is so important to me.”

Jack smiled. “I felt exactly the same way; what a pair of duffers we are!”

“Enough talking,” I said as I bent down and we began to kiss again, gently at first and then with increasing intensity. It was about fifteen minutes later when all was quiet again, apart from the pounding of our hearts, that we heard a discrete tap on the door and Aunt Tess's voice saying: “Are you two going to get up? It's past ten o'clock you know.”

I grinned at Jack. “Well, Aunt Tess knows we spent the night together, so now you'll have to make an honest woman of me!”

After we showered (together), and dressed and came down to our late breakfast, Aunt Tess was busy preparing our breakfast, which she didn't have to do but seemed to enjoy doing. She looked at us both with a half-smile on her lips.

“Aunt Tess, we have something to tell you,” I said. “We're going to get married.”

“Oh that's wonderful news,” she cried and stopping what she was doing came over to the breakfast table to give us both a hug and a kiss, before remembering the bacon and eggs were cooking, and rushing back to the stove.

After we finished our breakfast, Jack glanced at his watch. “I was going to suggest we go to a jeweller to look for an engagement ring, but I think it's a bit too late today since we've got a matinée performance.”

“Ah! Now that's where I might be able to help you,” said Aunt Tess. She hurried out of the room, leaving us staring at each other with quizzical looks on our faces. A few minutes later she returned carrying a tiny box.

“As you know, Terry and I had no children of our own. I inherited two diamond rings from my mother and I gave one to Jeanette for her twenty-first birthday. You might remember, Antonette?”

“Yes, I do,” I replied. She had it remodelled and she still wears it. It's very beautiful.”

“Well, here's the other ring,” said Aunt Tess, opening the box. Inside was a ring with five large sparkling diamonds. “I know the setting is old-fashioned, but as the saying goes 'diamonds are forever', so you could use them and the gold to refashion a ring to your own liking. I'd be very happy to give it to you,” she said.

I confess that my eyes filled with tears. “Oh Aunty, it's beautiful!” I said.

“Mrs McDonald, that is so generous,” said Jack.

Aunt Tess said: “I think perhaps you could call me Aunt Tess now, Jack, that's if you'd like to. Perhaps you'd like to do the honours?” She held the box out to him.

Jack took the ring and slipped it on the fourth finger of my left hand where it fitted perfectly and the diamonds sparkled. It looked like new and of course, I should have realised; Aunt Tess saw this day coming long before I did and had taken the ring in to get it professionally cleaned.

There was no way I could keep the news a secret of course. When I arrived in the dressing-rooms that afternoon, my special friend Jacinta said: “You look like the cat that got the cream.”

“Jack's asked me to marry him!” It burst out before I had time to think.

“Well congratulations, it's about time!” said Jacinta and she gave me a big hug and a kiss. “I always thought there was more to you two than just friendship.”

It was useless to protest that up until about twelve hours before, that's exactly what it had been – friendship, at least that's what we both had kept telling ourselves. Then I remembered what Aunt Tess had said about friends making the best lovers. The news flew around the company and we were both showered with congratulations.

In the break between the two performances, I rang Mummy to give her the news and she was ecstatic. “That's such wonderful news, Antonette. I always knew that Jack was the man for you, but I wasn't sure if the two of you would ever realise that you were meant for each other.”

“There is one other thing, Mummy; Jack is a very honorouble person and he feels that before any official announcement is made he should meet Daddy and officially ask for my hand in marriage.”

Mummy couldn't suppress a laugh. “He certainly is a gentleman. Why don't we arrange to have dinner here soon and invite his parents too? I'll speak to Daddy and give him a warning of what Jack is going to ask, and then after the formalities are dealt with, we can all have dinner together and get to know each other a bit better.”

The dinner was arranged for a Sunday evening two weeks later, the one day of the week that we had off. It was quite formal and I had a new dress for the occasion. In addition to Jack's parents, Michael and Jennifer French, and his brother Ben, my three sisters agreed to come too. It sounds stupid, but I had this tiny worry that Daddy would grill Jack about his income and prospects, so it was with a great deal of relief that when I passed Daddy's study about an hour before Jack and his parents were due to arrive, the door was ajar and I noticed a bottle of single malt whisky and two glasses sitting on Daddy's desk. I took that as a good omen.

A friend of Mummy's had come over to help her with preparing the dinner, which would also gave her the time to get herself ready. Jeanette had arrived in a stunning dress and complimented me on my appearance. She was followed by my other sisters, Celine and Justine. Asking them to wear dresses would have been a step too far, but they did look very smart in pantsuits.

Jack arrived in a suit, the first time I had seen his dressed in one, and Daddy welcomed him into his study with a smile and a handshake. The door closed, and I confess, my heart was beating faster than usual, silly I know, but there you are. Jack's parents and brother arrived a few minutes later and the party was complete, but still Jack and Daddy stayed in his study

They were gone so long that Mummy and her friend were just about to serve the first course and we were on the point of knocking on the study door when it opened and both men appeared laughing and saying something about cricket, but I didn't catch what it was. When we had all taken our places, Jack stood up to speak.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. This evening I spoke to Mr Burton requesting the hand of his daughter Antonette in marriage, and I am pleased to report that he has agreed to my request.”

There was a general cheer at this announcement and I was blushing scarlet. I had returned the engagement ring to Jack to produce at an appropriate time. Now he knelt at my feet and said “Darling Antonette, will you marry me?”

“Yes Jack, I will marry you,” I replied, and with that he produced the engagement ring and placed in on my finger. We sealed the engagement with a kiss. Daddy went out to the kitchen and returned with a tray of glasses and a bottle of champagne and everyone toasted us.

The dinner was a huge success. Everyone got on remarkably well since this was the first time we had met Jack's parents and brother. I couldn't help noticing that Jack's brother Ben seemed very taken with Jeanette, and why not, since she's a very pretty and smart woman.

When the party finally broke up and our guests had left, I asked Daddy how his interview with Jack had gone.

“Extremely well! You are a lucky girl to have him. We had a long talk as you know, and it seems he is quite a sportsman, including a tennis player, although he doesn't have much time now with the ballet performing six days a week. He also enjoys cricket.”

It seemed to me that Jack was the perfect man for a son-in-law from Daddy's point of view. Like most men, I think Daddy held a suspicion that all male ballet dancers are, if not gay, a bit effeminate. The interview had reassured him that Jack was all man. I could have reassured him on that score!

That reminded me: “Daddy, what were you talking about cricket when you came out of your study?”

“Oh that!” he laughed. “I told him about the time you won a school cricket match with a boundary, quite by accident!”

“Oh, Daddy!” I exclaimed, but I couldn't help laughing too.

The season at Stratford continued. It was a huge success and was actually extended by two weeks. Mummy, Daddy, and Jeanette, plus Jack's parents came up from London to see the production and were quite impressed by their children's performances.

To be continued

Next time; A tour and a wedding