Previous Key played – C Major……… The next day at school I was handed a note in Mr. Morris’ Science class requiring me to see Mr. Carmichael at lunch break in his office (along with something to eat). There, he again apologized for yesterday and said he had an idea he wanted to try out in Band (with my cooperation of course), which after a bit of strategy and tactics planning I nodded my head in acquiesce……..it seemed Mr. Carmichael wanted help in making make the school band popular! So where does one start first?

A Different Key – D Major

When Mr. Carmichael finally brought the Band class to silence, it was to tell them two things. The first was that everyone was to write down at least ten and no more than fifteen songs they’d like the Band to play if they had the choice. Then when a final list of everyone’s most popular songs had been decided upon they’d be written onto a ballot paper to vote on. The second thing was that he’d arranged for several Saturday practice sessions at the school starting in a fortnight’s time, so he and the nominated section leader along with Miss Seymour could attempt to improve the skills of each musician in each section. This second thing was received with a wall of loud groans and whingeing until he shouted for silence (which he finally got, all but reluctantly.)

To justify this unwanted bad news he explained that if Band wanted to play their choice of music, a small amount of commitment was necessary from each and every Band member. To be fair he also offered to allow any person not wishing to be part of this would be allowed to change their elective and would be given a passing mark up to the time they transferred to another course. Regrettably five students quickly packed up and headed out the Music room door, which was certainly less than I thought would have quit.

Mr. Carmichael waited until the last of the student’s had walked out before saying congratulations to the following Band people on being placed in charge of your sections, then reading out four names and saying that if anyone of them needed any further advice they could see him after class. Of the four named, it was clearly obvious that only Jeromy (Jerry) Potts seemed pleased about being named. Mr. Carmichael then advised everyone that the entire Woodwind and string sections would be the first to have a Saturday practice session unless they could provide a parent signed note by next Monday for their absence.

I’d already spoken about this probably happening to mom the previous night. I felt it was far too much pressure on Jane to be able to handle it. After all I’d been Jane for only about twenty or so weeks and still didn’t feel entirely comfortable in her shoes (heels). Mom thought differently, telling me I’d been able to host four girlfriends only a few weeks ago and not be found out. She said I behaved as though I’d been a girl almost from the day I’d been born and even my father didn’t expect to see Michael (or a facsimile) ever again. It was her words that finally made me agree to help out Mr. Carmichael and his plan for making the Band more popular to want to join.

As for Mr. Carmichael, well so far he’d been as good as his word to dad. He now had a copy of my latest and first EOI song for Crazy Music Recordings and it had been played once, and was scheduled for regular playing as soon as he could rework the playing schedule with the help of Audio production students responsible for maintaining the school’s radio station operations. He’d explained to me that although students acted as DJ’s on a revolving basis, out of hours unmanned the music was played via computer on a pre-recorded loop, prepared by other Audio class students. Usually this always entailed a major change of music to be played once a month, so Mr. Carmichael’s interference so as to move my song into a spot wasn’t just a simple matter of just swapping my song for another one (well it was). It needed to be done so as not to leave silent time between songs or any school announcements.

Band classes went on regardless of the six students opting out for other subjects. Of the other section leaders Brad was the only guy. The other two leaders Penny Hai-penny (strings) and Judy Topless (woodwind) were both speechless at their elevations although both of them were quite good musicians. I only had to deal with three boys in my section and Barry was already willing to listen to whatever I spoke to him about.

Both Judy and Penny while annoyed at the Saturday practice(s) simply accepted me as defacto in charge after hearing me play several woodwind instruments, although I admitted to being completely hopeless playing a violin or any other orchestra string instrument very well, which thankfully Penny could.

Judy’s woodwind section was made up of fifteen musicians who were about equally represented by sex. We tried to do some private training before school and at lunch time, but it seemed to be impossible to get the majority of them all together at the same time. I decided with Judy’s understanding to wait for Saturday and see how many actually turned up although everyone said they’d be there.

Saturday morning rolled round and finally saw everyone turning up although not entirely on time. Mr. Carmichael organised where each section should practice, and thankfully the woodwind and string sections ended up inside. The Strings went to the school’s auditorium while Woodwind ended up in the Music room. My three guys had to go and carry their percussion instruments back down to the oval and found some shade trees to practice under.

The percussion guys looked to me for guidance and I eventually got them to begin practicing their tempo timings. I hadn’t dragged the Xylophone down to the field instead opting for a ratty old acoustic guitar to play so the guys would be forced to play much quieter. I also accepted Mr. Carmichael’s suggestion to borrow the school’s Boom box along with several disks of tunes to use if I got fed up playing the guitar.

It was particularly difficult because of the brass section’s horn sounds were clearly audible from the other end of the oval, but in time my guys began to slowly understand what I was trying to explain to them. We seemed to all get so involved practicing that the sound of the lunch bell two hours later surprised the four of us. Mr. Carmichael had already organised for our various drums, and chimes to be placed in the room under the grandstand along with all the Brass guy’s instruments.

The $10 subscription we’d all been asked to bring along for food had been spent on the dreaded Colonel’s Kitten food and two canteen ladies had volunteered to be here today to serve the food.
Not surprisingly each section separated to their own areas, so I had to get up and walk around and talk with Judy and Penny. Their opinions of the morning weren’t very flattering with both girls asking me why I hadn’t shown up to help them individually, which I promised them I’d do after lunch starting with Judy’s woodwind section first. Mr. Carmichael had been unusually scarce after organising which areas the band practiced at, although he was doing a considerable amount of P.R. during lunch with the various sections. We were to all assemble at the oval around 3pm and demonstrate how far we’d all improved!

When 3pm rolled around, the entire band didn’t show any marked improvement although the percussion guys definitely sounded much improved. I think the general mood among all of us was one of the Saturday practice being a total waste of time. Mom had to wait for me to finish talking with Mr. Carmichael, Penny, Judy and Brad about what each of us thought needed to be done to get a better result the following Saturday. I discussed it with mom in the car going home, then with dad during dinner before carefully emailing Mr. Carmichael with their suggestion. I spent the rest of the weekend veg’ing out on movies, with not the slightest inclination to use dad’s studio. A new first.

On Monday Mr. Carmichael had done what I had emailed him about and in Band, the students were allowed to offer their own opinions as to the usefulness of the Saturday practice among other things. To his credit Mr. Carmichael allowed everyone who wanted to, to say what they thought about the Saturday practice idea before he offered them a suggestion (that I already knew all about, since it was my moms and dad idea).

The following Saturday saw a quick improvement in Penny’s string section playing, which was clearly evident to everyone else at the Band class the Monday after. The Saturday after that was Judy’s Woodwind musicians turn to show how much they’d improved. Brad was so pissed that Monday, he almost threatened to quit Band. His Saturday practice the following weekend saw him being especially catty towards both myself as well as Mr. Carmichael. After constantly interrupting my suggestions about how to improve, Mr. Carmichael offered him the choice to leave there and then or else shut up. He chose the latter, although the petulant looks he kept giving me as I now spoke without interruptions had me wondering how long he’d be able to remain silent.

Whatever, it certainly took a lot longer than either Penny’s or Judy’s musicians had taken, but eventually the other Brass musicians realized for themselves how quickly they were improving and they bought into the whole concept, which scuppered Brad’s unspoken opinions as to my methods.
So five Mondays after that first wasted Saturday practice the Band now sounded pretty damned good. It was the first time the entire Band could hear how much they’d improved and there were surprised smiles all round. Finally we wouldn’t sound so awful at sport events. The football season had been going for two Fridays and although we had started to improve, everyone in the band was finally looking forward to a Friday evening shivering uncontrollably.

Mr. Carmichael had been slow about sorting through the lists of songs the Band member themselves would have preferred to play, so that didn’t happen until the following day. We even had a ballot paper given to each of us to vote for which songs we’d prefer to play (the top 25 songs listed had to be whittled down to 10). He reminded everyone that we’d initially nominated over ninety songs between all of us. He also reminded everyone that we’d need to practice any new music along with the music we had already been rehearsing and that any new songs would need to be gradually incorporated into the usual tune list, one, possibly two at a time.

On Wednesday afternoon, he quickly handed out a list showing the ten songs we’d voted on. I’d have to say that several of them would have been hopeless to try and perform in public which Mr. Carmichael was quick to point, out once we’d all had time to digest the music list. He wanted to try the idea of playing a certain selection at every home game and when we visited other schools, we’d play music we had already rehearsed during the term. I wasn’t fussed one way or the other, but the very idea of our school Band playing Lady Gaga songs (2 were on the list) wasn’t that appealing to me.

As it turned out, my fears about the Band playing LG songs didn’t happen for quite some time. Instead it had been decided by Mr. Carmichael that up until the end of the football season, the Band would continue playing mostly the music we’d rehearsed and knew so well. At least we now played it far better than previously. What everyone did appreciate was being advised that the Band would not be required to do marching displays while playing during the football half time breaks, which at least allowed us to be able to remain warmer during games.

It’s worth pointing out to readers that most high schools (in the United States) often have a band that travels to particular sporting fixtures and that both schools provide separate 30 minute performances (sometimes longer) prior to the start of the game being played, with the home school also providing the half time music/entertainment. Obviously each school has its own cheerleaders who can perform during either band’s performance and throughout the game. Usually the host school plays the second performance up to the commencement of the game and is allowed to do so uninterrupted by the visiting school, while offering them the same courtesy prior. Parents and relatives who make up the majority of the crowds don’t have much say in the matter whatsoever. It’s totally different at College (University) level where the sporting arenas are much bigger as are the crowds, while the games are of a far higher standard for the crowd to watch. So are the Band’s musical performances.

During the Xmas break mom got fed up with watching me try to secretly scratch my itchy chest, well perhaps breasts although they were almost flat, while my nipples were certainly obvious now. The tests showed my blood levels had suddenly fallen far too below the minimum amount of testosterone my male reproductive system needed to remain feasible. A hurried family conference saw me several days later go through plastic surgery to receive a pair of “B” cup breast implants to fill my bras properly, although I could have done without the discomfort for a while as they bedded in. My real ones were definitely better than my old sponge ones and I’d finally be able to wear a halter neck bikini top now too although I’d have to wait for springtime to do it. It didn’t stop me however from doing so around the house!

I also got to find out from Rick Daring of Crazy Music Recordings that “Stay Awhile” had been released in our state and received “satisfactory” air time during its appearance on local radio stations around the state as well as on the internet. It at least allowed CMR to recover its financial investment in me so far. My next effort “It’s Always Too Late” was now scheduled for a much wider release around the country although still not including the east coast market. I’d have to hope the Internet junkies could fix that for me once it got play time. They wanted a film clip of me singing it (at my own expense) to help promote the song better.

Dad and mom already had that idea covered. Dad had asked mom to go through the security dick backups and find recordings of me during the final few recording sessions. I appeared like any other musician you’d see playing their instrument in studio film clips except my appearance looked paler (without filming make up) and I played almost all of my own instruments although dad made a fleeting 20 second appearance playing bass guitar along with mom recording harmony backgrounds.

CMR would have preferred a more professional (and therefore expensive) recording but had to settle for this after dad said he wasn’t spending his hard earned money on someone in his immediate family if CMR wasn’t willing to either.

At the end of January, Emerald became an actual person at school after my song and film clip had been seen on a late night MTV show by school friends. Suddenly it wasn’t possible any longer to be able to hide behind the screen of anonymity I’d always had before. Although CMR had told me that my video had been listed for air time when I was notified that “It’s Always Too Late” had been accepted by MTV, they hadn’t been able to give me a precise scheduled time of appearances for the song (that came a few days later). My first finding out happened when Anne sat down next to me on the way to school and excitedly yelled out how much she liked my new song. Obviously her excited volume soon had me surrounded by a group of fellow bus travellers listening to her describe the song and how I looked singing it to them.

When I walked into the school grounds there were more congratulations being offered. By lunch break I was a sort of minor school celebrity at our usual table. I tried to explain how the video had been made while fending off the inevitable questions about did I really play all those instruments, which apparently the TV show announcer had mentioned before the film clip was aired. That was the guy who should have been thanked by CMR once the radio stations found out about who had played all the instruments in the video.

Of course Mr. Carmichael’s response on seeing me enter his room for Music had any hope of my anonymity there being crushed once and for all. He “ordered” me to bring him a copy of the video with me tomorrow and hand it to him so my (mom’s) video could go on immediate release on the schools internal film stream. “It’s Always Too Late” had already been inserted into the radio play list and was being played several times a day from the memory stick I’d handed him after the Xmas break.

My reception for band was even worse. Every band member wanted to congratulate me personally as they entered the room and seen me surrounded by my Music class Band friends. I was able to postpone having to sing the song in class, stating that it wasn’t possible for me to physically play all of the instruments at the same. What I did have to do though was be the moderator for a Q & A session where it seemed everyone wanted to know if I knew any famous musicians yet. It soon felt like a long Band class to me as I answered each question the best I could while trying to be modest.

If what happened to me over the next few days at school was any indication, “It’s Always Too Late” might possibly make me famous. It seemed everyone there loved it or so they all said. Relating it mom and dad at the dinner table of a night even had my parents excited although both preaching to me about staying calm until the first stats returns came back from CMR. When they did it was be email and text along with requests for interviews with several music video shows.

The sales statistics showed that “It’s Always Too Late” was being well received by the listening internet public, as well as the people who had brought the download. The first week’s sales downloads showed just under 31,000 people had paid to record it, which meant I’d (through my agent dad) be getting some money as well.

Dad arranged for the three (so far) interviews to be done at our home inside dad’s studio. “Your poor old oggie doggy dad could always use the additional studio promotion Jane”, which prompted a sarcastically sceptical “sure dad” reply from me. It turned out that for the interviews, they’d all be using the same camera crew (to shave costs) although each show had its own person interviewing me. Each interviewer also asked me to play something, which I did with several different instruments and a different song for each interviewer’s segment which they appreciated and were impressed by.

Dad sat in on each interview identified as both my father as well as my record producer, which also enable the shows to do a separate piece on dad himself, his musical history and his more recent history producing artist’s hit records. When he received the various emails detailing each show’s expected viewing date, he phoned Mr. Carmichael telling him the dates without telling me he’d done it. Again the first “Muggins” knew about this was in Mr. Carmichael’s Music class where he announced the dates to the other students as well as writing them on the board off to the side.

It also seemed that depending on the person addressing me I was now known as Jane, Emerald or Em for short. I was no longer the quiet girl to everyone at school as even the cheerleaders gossiped with me looking for bits of goss about famous musician’s dad had introduced me to (another cross placed on my shoulders by him during his interview).

The one thing (perhaps good) to come from out of all this was that Band classes were now far more liberal. Obviously the Saturday practices helped, but the improved playing and the newly discovered self confidence in their ability to play music much better, now had a lot of the Band musicians making suggestions about the music they were playing. One suggestion which definitely brought dividends as in inviting Music class students who played instruments (everyone) to come along to some of the band rehearsals and bring their instruments with them to jam with us. The ten recently voted for songs was an added lure. The addition of fresh ideas from the Music students along with their own personal tastes saw Band class suddenly become a favourite subject for all of us involved.

The Band now had several electric lead, rhythm, bass and acoustic guitar players as well as a very exceptional pianist, plus a couple of other instruments to help boost the Band’s sound. Mr. Carmichael was thrilled to conduct this musical ensemble now and his over excessive enthusiasm had to sometimes be held in check at the sound of final bell some days.

He was also able to rope Messrs. Wells and Wallings into get involved in the Band, so adding audio and film editing expertise which they in turn used to create small student study groups within each senior’s class to work with the band in trying to find a cost free way of allowing the Band to play at home sports events incorporating electric instruments being wired through the field’s public address speakers.

By the end of March and with a number of further student requested Saturday morning practices the Friday night Soccer matches now had more non parent adults attending than parents with children playing. It was the same with opposing school’s teams as all sides of the fields or grounds were being filled by non-school spectators more interested in the music than the game itself.

By the time school year ended, most of the events that the Band played at were sold out, meaning that over 5,000 people had either attended as parents or paying non parents. This meant the school received up to an additional $10,000 per game (the seats were $2- each and included a flimsy musical program with a voting slip asking people for music suggestions). The school’s board of trustees had in turn selected several mobile food trucks to cater for visitors before entering the field’s turn styles. That meant even more money which Mr. Carmichael bartered into new Band uniforms for next year.

Em, (it’s quicker to type than Jane or Emerald!) was also having a bit of luck. My first official EOI song “It’s Always Too Late” had ended up selling almost 70,000 downloads. Dad’s friend was thrilled to get his writer’s royalty cheque, as well as the publicity that dad gave him by mentioning his name several times during those first three interviews. He had another song that I liked the sound of and I would have recorded it except dad preferred another friend’s song “Don’t Stand Too Close!” for my 2nd EOI offering.

With the end of school approaching for the year, I only had to do well in my exams for my first year as Jane (nee Em or Emerald) to feel fulfilled. So why should a boy (of all things) be such a problem for me to face shortly after everyone returned to school after the summer holiday break and worse still, the boy would be a school Band musician. Who’d have thought it possible?

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I’m taking a few weeks off, because it’s kind of difficult to read the computer keyboard with one eye covered. The cataract op (so far) was a piece of cake, so doing my other eye next week no longer has me worried. I managed to sneak in under the government timeline caused by the C.V. You all take care, while Jane (Em, Emerald, Sam/Ralph/Bill?) looks forward to “seeing” you in a fortnight’s time.
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