Chapter 8 - Back to the Old Grind

Paula the Elder
"You ready to face the world again, Titus?"

"Reality sucks, partner. I don't want to be Titus, dammit. It was worth getting clobbered to be Titia for so long and to meet your family. Even if my family doesn't understand me, I do miss them."

"People can change, Titus. There's always a chance."

"You haven't met my family. What the hell, all good things must end. Thanks for letting me stay while I recuperated."

"It's been a pleasure. With any luck your car is till waiting at the warehouse and some thief hasn't made off with it."

"What! With One-Stop Security on the job? Bite your tongue."

"No thanks, I hate blood. It's going to be too quiet around here when you're gone."

"I'll have to invite you and Paula over to my place for dinner sometime."

"You and she seem to have hit it off."

"At least Titia and Paula have hit it off. I don't know about Titus."

"Are you really so different wearing a dress?"

"I'm me wearing a dress, I'm just playing a part as Titus."

"If you say so. I'm too old to figure this shit out."

"Right! How many old people would let a tranny live in their spare room on short notice? You've got to be the most understanding and tolerant old lady on the planet."

"Flatterer. You still wearing that training bra under there?"

"I never leave the house without it."

"Then just keep your shirt on all night this time, OK?"

"You got a deal."

"Brian! This is a surprise."

"Paula, how could I let my best security team come back without some acknowledgment. How many times do we get all that free TV publicity for One-Stop?"

"I hope it's the last time, I prefer quiet nights without being thrown around the place."

"So do I, Titus," Brian agreed. "By the way, the both of you performed exactly as I hope any of our people would. Calling in backup, working as a team, preventing any loss - even capturing one of the thugs. I couldn't ask for more!"

"Any word on what those two were after, boss?" I asked.

"The fellow you caught hasn't said a blessed word since they let him out of the hospital - except 'lawyer' and 'the food in this place sucks'. But his fingers were quite eloquent."

"Do tell," I commented.

"His name - one of them, at least - is Stanley M. Exum. Minor criminal record so far, but he's been connected with several cases of industrial espionage. Rather sophisticated break-ins, minimal traces left but not completely clean. It appears he left his fingerprints on a job in Cincinnati, so there's a warrant out for him and also a reward upon conviction.

"I'm kind of reading between the lines here, but the place they tried to break into is part of a bunch of places doing lord-knows-what with alternative energy. The research costs big bucks, but the potential profits are huge. Just like the potential losses of those invested in how we currently supply our energy. As always, big bucks attracts con artists and outright crooks. Anyway, there are some rewards out for whoever is screwing with this consortium. You two may just be in for some nice money when the wheels of justice finish grinding."

"Sweet. I'm and old woman though, Brian. I might not be around by the time the wheels of justice spit him out again."

"Bullshit, Paula! You'll be around to make my life interesting for longer than I want to think about. Besides, there's now a reward out for catching your Sasquatch."

"Weird! In all these years of guarding I've never once come close to a burglar or anything beyond a lost drunk. Now I go and catch a national menace first time out."

"It gets more interesting. While he's only been busted for minor stuff, there are some who think he's in on some, well call it sabotage, in some labs working on some pretty advanced stuff. Just what, nobody is saying, but there is big money involved and apparently some other big money who would like to screw up the whole program. The insurance companies are interested in the whole thing, too. Quite a can of worms you two stumbled over."

"My, my - we seem to have hit the big time!"

"It's starting to smell that way. The feds were interested and suddenly they weren't, so it stinks of politics, too. But this big research consortium is hot to trot to stop the sabotage and there's still reward money out there."

"Oh Joy!" I commented. "Now we get mixed up in politics. Wonder if they'd be be dumb enough to come back so we could get some of the moolah."

"Never bet on how dumb a crook can be, Titus. You'll usually lose."

"I never bet anyway, because I always loose."

"Yeah. The big winners are those that don't play the lottery."

"True," said Brian, "but there's another reason I'm here tonight. Alfred McDonald just told me he's going to retire in a couple of months, not that it's any surprise. Paula, we think you should replace him as head of the guard side of the business. You've done it all. I know you were the one that kept your brother's security operation going before he screwed it up; you've done dispatching, record keeping and guarding. You trained me back in the day and you've trained up quite a few more who all love you. There's no one better qualified in the company."

"Brian, I'm flattered, but I'm sixty years old. I'm not that far from retirement myself. Does it make sense to only have me on the job for a few years?"

"Paula, I know you only took the job because you got shafted when Josh died. Believe me, if there was any way I could put those bastards that screwed you and Josh in a cage I would do it and smile at them while I turned the key. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about white collar crime, at least on the guard side of the business. That's Investigations job, and I figure those bastards managed to steal the money legally so they can jet off to Tahiti while you catch crooks on the night shift.

"Anyway, I hope this will let you put enough by to enjoy life before you end up in a home somewhere, and your new salary should help. These days three or four years on the job counts as longevity in most places, so I'm not worried about how long you stay."

"If you put it that way, then Titus - looks like we'll will have to find you a new partner, or do I get to pick who ends up as my assistant?"

"Funny you should mention that. Joanie says she wants to go when Al does. Just between you and me I think that means she's going to have a ring on her finger about three weeks after the retirement party. Everybody but Al knew she's in love with the guy."

"At least you won't have to worry about an office romance between Titus and this old lady. He's stuck on my granddaughter."

"Paula!"

"Tell me you aren't, partner! I'm not blind."

"Damn! A daytime drama on the night shift. Good thing I'm usually home in bed by this time, my wife wouldn't approve of an office romance if I'm involved."

"You know they call it the infidelity shift, don't you, boss?"

"I've heard the term."

"Then forget it. I think Titus is qualified for the job, the Navy had him shuffling papers for years, so he knows what's what. He's more than just a pretty face."

I couldn't help it, and Titus nearly busted a gut holding in his laughter.

"Damn! You solve my problems before you even started the job. If you want Titus, then you have him."

"So how much money do we hit the man for, partner?" I asked Titus.

"You're my boss, you do the negotiating."

"Should we try for a company car? Say a Caddy with bar service?"

"Fat chance, Paula. I might go for a motorcycle with a sidecar for your assistant, but don't get your heart set on it."

"Cheapskate. Beggars can't be choosers, Brian. I'm sure you'll do right by us."

"I will. Hope you have a quiet night, and we don't have to have TV people running around here again."

"You got that right, boss!"