Something Feels Strange…

“Her name is Tina Jeffers. All I know about her is that she’s Mercer’s niece from Alaska and is here for the summer. Oh yeah, and she likes to run. She’s running most evenings with the local high school cross country team.”

“Okay, okay–I’ll play it cool, but if she so much as looks sideways I want you to find a way to get rid of her.”

This last comment was followed by his slamming the phone back on its cradle and some expletives attached to comments about meddling women and his perception of their role in life.

Chapter 30: Strengthening Ties

Whoa! Somebody’s not happy. Also he’s got a really low opinion of me in particular and women in general. How can a guy be so crude? I find myself feeling pretty indignant.

“The bastard,” I exclaim after we listen to the recording.

“He’s certainly got a low opinion of women, doesn’t he?” Laurie observes.

“Yes he does,” I reply emphatically.

“I think you need to watch yourself around this guy,” Laurie suggests.

“He’s a real bastard and he’s not working alone either,” I point out as I start to calm down some. “And I’m sure we can be confident he’s not working with Mrs. Harrison.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, “I don’t think they’re on each other’s Christmas card list.”

After reviewing the conversation again and ignoring his vulgar references to me, I point out, “You know, he could just be paranoid about another Human Services investigation. For all we know, he’s just talking with his lawyer. However, it does sound as if he’s got something to hide.”

“I think he’s got a lot more on his mind than a Human Services investigation,” Laurie says. “If I were you I’d be a bit worried that the stakes are higher and his comment about getting rid of you involves more than getting you transferred to another division or not allowing you to see Andy. I think the safe route here is to assume the worst and watch your backside.”

Getting past Dr. Lang’s rude comments, I decide to lighten up a bit. “The guys on the running team are watching my backside,” I say with a grin. “As a matter-of-fact I think some of them can’t seem to look anywhere else.”

Looking over my shoulder and patting myself on the butt, I say, “It’s a pretty good lookin’ backside, even if I say so myself and I should know–I’ve looked at enough of them over the years from the male perspective. In fact it looks a lot like yours and yours has always been my favorite.”

“How can you be so flippant at a time like this?” Laurie protests. It’s obvious she’s starting to freak out about all this. “You’re acting like a guy again.”

“Maybe that’s why I was recruited for this job,” I point out. “If I approach this as a guy it will misdirect the bad guys. They’ll be expecting a girl response.

“Okay,” I say getting serious again, “what do we do with these recordings? Do we let the security team have ’em or not? I doubt they’ve downloaded them yet, this being a holiday weekend and all.”

“I guess we have to let ’em have them,” Laurie says. “They know you were going to the Langs’ so they’ll expect to hear something. If we try to hide them, we’d probably get in trouble with the security team. I’ve got a big USB drive, let’s at least download a copy for ourselves just in case we need it for some reason.”

While she goes off to get her USB drive, I download the cell phone recording to my computer and think about all this. Am I really in danger, or is Dr. Lang just a paranoid sexist bastard? I don’t know. What I do know is we don’t have anything which directly proves he’s our leak. Neither has he ruled himself out.

I’m starting to think of ways to smoke out the bad guy(s) here. I almost sure the false report thing which my dad proposes has potential. I’m not ready to tell Laurie about that one yet. I just need some way to find out what’s on Dr. Lang’s mind.

After transferring the two recordings, I carefully delete the cell phone recording from my computer, including from the infamous recycle bin. I don’t want the security folks to know we’ve kept a copy.

“Tina,” Laurie says with pleading eyes, “You will be careful, won’t you? I really don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“You mean,” I reply, “any more than already has? Changing sex is a pretty big deal, you know. Anyway, I think it’s we who need to be worried. After all, we are both connected with Andy.”

“Yeah,” she says, “but you’re the one in the crosshairs right now. And you know what I mean, I don’t want you physically hurt or worse. By the way, I don’t think the sex change has hurt you all that much. In fact, we’re closer now than ever before. I’d say your wonderful personality and character seems to be blossoming more than ever so the change might be actually a good thing.”

“Yeah,” I say reflecting on this comment. “Nothing like a day of shopping in San Francisco and sharing clothes with your girlfriend to bring you closer together.”

She puts her arm around me and pulls me into a hug. “By the way, thanks for a great day, Tina. It’s been one of the best days of my life. I feel soooo close to you.”

“I really enjoyed it too,” I respond returning the hug but with a sudden yawn, “You know, though, it’s been a long day and we have another shopping adventure tomorrow. And I love you too, but it’s time for bed.”

---<>---

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning and I’m out on the front lawn doing some stretches while waiting for Mrs. Harrison to show up for our run. I notice the curtains move in the house across the street. I suspect it’s the two teen boys who live there. Being out in short running shorts and a jog bra I’m sure I’m giving them lots of reason to be up early on a Sunday morning. One of them peaks through the curtain again and I give him a wave and a big smile. The curtains close quickly. Was I that obvious when I ogled girls when I was a guy? Probably. I decide I’ll have to be more discreet when I get the hormones back to drive the desire. I guess if I want to ogle a pretty girl now, all I have to do is go back inside and stand in front of a mirror.

Mrs. Harrison arrives right on time for our little run/accountability meeting.

“I hear you had a date last night,” she opens the conversation–my, word gets around fast.

“It wasn’t a date,” I defend. “We were just working on a project together then went to see the fireworks. How did you know?”

“Ben came home from the fireworks somewhat deflated last night,” she says. “I think he’s trying to get up the nerve to ask you out and he was disappointed to see someone beat him to the punch.”

“Well,” I remind her, “it’s in my assignment to infiltrate the Lang household. What better way to do it than hang out with their son?”

“You’re right, Tina,” she admits, “but I thought Laurie was going to do that.”

“She tried,” I reply, “but she was scaring him off. For some reason he finds it easier to be around me. I like him too–as a friend. He’s a bright kid who doesn’t seem to have a mean bone in his body.”

“So tell me about your evening,” she requests with a touch of anticipation.

I’m not sure if she wants to find out for work or social reasons, so I tell her about the cool reception I received from Dr. Lang and how Mrs. Lang was very nice. I also tell her about the time Andy and I spent on learning web design and my need for some software. I explain about the two recordings I made and how Laurie and I had listened to them.  What I didn’t tell her was about my short meeting with Dr. Quinn and our little plan to send false data again.

“So what exactly was Dr. Lang accused of?” I ask. “I’m trying to sort out what he is so paranoid about. I don’t want to be doing anything which will set him off so I need to know what he is watching for.”

“I really shouldn’t discuss personnel actions with you,” she replies, “but it seems you have a vested interest in this one. You better not tell anyone what I’m about to tell you.”

She proceeds to tell me that Dr. Lang has always been difficult to work with. He seems to be particularly hard on his female associates and support staff, treating them as little more than servants. He appears to think that women have little use in the workplace beyond secretarial staff and even those he treats with contempt. While the Human Services department had heard multiple grumblings about him, there was nothing they could hold him to. The general opinion from his coworkers was that he should at least have to go through sensitivity training. Finally one of his young female colleagues filed a harassment complaint against him. She claimed he systematically deprived her of the opportunity to do her job and advance within the organization because she was female. When she first came in with the complaint an attempt was made to set up a sting type operation so they could document specific incidents. When they failed to get judicial approval for using recordings and wiretaps, the woman backed out of the operation but still filed her complaint. The ensuing investigation degenerated into a he said/she said brawl and nothing was accomplished–particularly when the lawyers got involved. In frustration the woman eventually took another job at another installation to get away from the situation but she left quietly and didn’t tell her colleagues she was leaving until after she was gone. This fed the rumor mill that she’d been let go by the Lab. Unfortunately, since personnel actions are not public, the Human Services department has been unable to do anything to counter the rumor. It’s pretty clear Mrs. Harrison still views Dr. Lang as unfinished business.

“So why is he on your short list for spy-of-the-month?” I ask.

“You ask too many questions, you know,” she replies with a smile, “You’re a pretty bright girl and I can understand your frustration at not knowing everything, however, it really is true that giving you too much information puts you in more danger if something goes wrong. Your job is to collect the data and let the security team sort out the connections. In reality, you shouldn’t have listened to those recordings. We’ll protect you if we perceive you’re in any danger.”

What do I say to that? I don’t really want her to know I don’t completely trust her or her team yet.

“Yeah,” I reply, “but I didn’t sign on to settle scores with difficult employees either. I’d like to know there’s more than unfinished personnel actions involved here. If I know why you suspect him then I’ll know what to look for. The same goes for Dr. Sommers.”

She thinks about this for a few minutes then suggests, “We’ve only got a mile to go to your house, so let’s just walk the rest of the way and we’ll talk some more.”

We agree to slow to a walking pace. While we’ve only been running at a comfortable conversational pace, we’re both a bit wet with perspiration as the air temperature begins to climb.

“The main reason these two scientists are on our list,” she begins after looking around to make sure no one is within hearing distance, “is that both are from programs whose secrets have surfaced in terrorist installations and both have connections with people in the regions where these groups operate. They both have access to the information getting out of their respective groups and they have the means to transmit it. What we’re hoping you’ll find is a motive at the very least and actual documented evidence at best. It’d also be nice if you found proof that neither is a leak so we can narrow down the pool of candidates.”

So, Dr. Lang has a connection which I don’t know about. There’s something to look for.

“Some of the committee are starting to despair of any success in this operation as you’ve yet to have produce anything suspicious. I’ve told them to be patient as these things take time. These new recordings are the first real breakthroughs you’ve brought us and will help the impatient committee members feel better about the operation.”

Bingo! She must not have seen my mid-week transmission.  I wonder about that. Maybe she’s just covering up. If she is, she’s a good actress.

“If the recording is as you say,” she continues, “then maybe we’ll have something to work with. I can’t wait to hear it.”

“What about the surveys and other things which have been gleaned from our listening devices,” I ask hoping she’ll reveal something, “has there been anything useful there?”

“Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary I’m told,” she says, “but then again, I don’t actually see those.”

“I thought all that went through you,” I tell her.

“Actually,” she says, “the committee decides what information is currently needed and a member puts the survey together, emails it to you and then receives what you send back. The committee gets a summary report as significant data comes in. There are many parts to this operation and there isn't time for each of us to filter through all the raw data. We’ve two very experienced data analysts on the committee who take care of that for us. They are supposed to verify each other’s work. You know, Tina, I’ve told you a lot more than I should have. Please keep this to yourself. I really, really, hope nothing happens to you put a position to divulge this information.”

Okay, I’m thinking, so who are these committee members who filter everything? This is might be the leak. I doubt she’s going to reveal the names of committee members so decide to let it drop for now.  Maybe I can get it out of Aunt Jen. We walk in silence for a few minutes.

“So,” she asks changing the subject, “how do you find womanhood?”

This seems to be a favorite question from those who know about my transformation. I guess everyone is interested, in some degree, to what it’s like on the other side and to be with someone who’s had the opportunity must get their attention.

I shrug my shoulders and say, “It’s okay I guess. I don’t care much for periods.”

“None of us do,” she laughs.

“I’m having a hard time being the chased instead of the one doing the chasing,” I tell her. “I’ve never had any girls chase after me before so it is a new experience for me to be pursued by anyone. Guys are harder to get rid of than fleas. I feel like I’m on display all the time. Heck, just this morning the two boys across the street were ogling me as I was doing my stretches. Another thing which bothers me is boys seeming to have a hard time being ‘just friends’ with a girl.  I miss the simple camaraderie experienced by boys who are friends. I get the feeling it’s not possible to have that kind of relationship with guys when you’re a girl and the friendships girls have with each other are just different than boys have with each other.”

“On the plus side,” I continue, “I find I really enjoy the company of girls much more. Most of the ones I’ve been around seem to be more open than guys are. I find it easier to get close to them emotionally now I’m one. For example Caitlin has become a close friend in way which would never happen if I were still male. Also, I find I actually enjoy trying to figure out what to wear, how to style my hair, and select the right makeup. Girls get more opportunity to be creative. Laurie and I went shopping in the City yesterday and I really enjoyed it. I mean I really enjoyed it. I don’t think it is was just the shopping which was enjoyable, but doing it with someone who I’m close to and have a lot in common with. Also, it’s fun to be silly and goofy when nobody cares.”

“Will you want to go back to being male when the time comes?” she asks.

“Sure,” I reply, “but I can guarantee you I’ll see the world differently. I have to admit I’m enjoying my girl time and there are things I’ll miss about being a girl, but in many ways it will be good to be back to what I was born to be.”

“Well,” she says as she puts her arm around me and gives me a squeeze, “whichever way you are, there seem to be a lot of people who think that you’re special regardless of what sex you are.  For one, getting back to business, the Director of the Ignition Facility thinks you’re pretty efficient. He told me you are underutilized as a temp office worker and he wants to keep you for the summer. It seems he has a couple of projects he thinks you can handle nicely for the group. Nothing technical, but more than answering the phones and making copies.”

“Oh,” I interject, “don’t forget making the coffee. That’s my most technically challenging responsibility you know.”

She laughs, “Your new responsibilities will get you more into the lives and offices of the people there. It will be good for the investigation but we were thinking of sending you to another place which we are concerned about. Are you ready for more office responsibility?”

“Answering phones and making coffee is getting old,” I reply.

“This won’t be rocket science either,” she says, “but it will involve more initiative on your part.”

“Well count me in,” I tell her with a smile.

“Great,” she says. “I’ll make the arrangements. Now, about running. Ben showed me the packet from Coach Arnold. Are you planning on running these races?”

“Yes,” I tell her. “It sounds like fun and gives some focus to the training we’re doing as a team.”

“It’ll get in the way of our Sunday morning chats,” she observes. “I’m thinking I’ll volunteer to help with the transportation and even run the races myself.”

“Maybe you can be the unofficial girls coach,” I suggest. “Of course you’ll have to run intervals with us.”

“I think I’ll skip the intervals,” she grins, “I’m sure we can find another time to visit about work, after all I am the boss and can call you in for an interview any time I want. Remember you can always get a hold of me whenever you need me too. Day or night. My cell number is a speed dial on your phone.”

I remind her about my need for the software to do my work with Andy. She asks me to send her an email with the details and she’d see about getting it for me or I can just pick it up and get reimbursed later.

As we reach the house she gives me another hug then heads off to her home.

---<>----

Laurie and her mother are busy working at house cleaning so I offer to help but am banished to the shower to become more presentable first.

Later, after Laurie has already left with Amy and Co., I do my weekly check of Chris’s email. There are several from family and another from Dan. I send a fictitious camp update to all. Dan gives me a Tina update along with a picture of her/me at the pool party. I don’t remember it being taken, but I look pretty sexy in my swimsuit sitting in a lounge chair next to a chair in which Suzie is sitting. We look like the best of friends. Fortunately Dan is being cautious about his Tina infatuation. It’s apparent he doesn’t know quite how to handle the situation now that Tina and Suzie appear to be good friends.

I’ve continued to get emails from Joey in Alaska. I’ve added him to my Sunday update list.  I told him about the great fireworks display and how the boy I went with was kind enough to help me with some web page development. I sent him the link to my web page with promises to update it regularly. That’s going to be tricky since he thinks I’m from California and the folks down here think I’m from Alaska.

The Major, Mom Polly, and Helen have also sent email this week which I haven’t acknowledged so I send each of them one in reply. I tell Helen and Mom Polly about my first ‘date’. I think they’ll get a kick out of it. I add a picture of me, Laurie and Andy taken at the fireworks. I decide I need to ask the Major a few questions but don’t think email is the way to go. I  think I want to bounce a few ideas off him, but I need to find a phone which the committee can’t trace in order to do it.

Thinking more about calling Alaska, I realize I haven’t kept in touch with my ‘family’ like a good daughter would so I pick up my cell phone and give them a call. After all, if some bad guy is checking my phone log they’d expect to see some calls home.

The Major and Mom Polly seem really happy to hear from me. Keeping in mind this is not a secure phone, I avoid discussing any of my work related concerns. The Major inquires about my work in general terms and I tell him things are going well, but I may want some advice later as my responsibilities may be changing.  Mom Polly wants to know all about my ‘date’. I figure while I’m at it, I’ll tell her about the running team and the boys I seem to be attracting.  She thinks it all sounds like fun and gives me some motherly advice on dealing with boys. Before I know it we’ve been on the phone for almost an hour; we might have talked longer if Aunt Jen hadn’t come in to tell me Caitlin was here to pick me up. Mom Polly really seems to enjoy having a daughter. She asks me to call her later to tell her about the shopping trip. I really enjoyed talking with her and resolve to keep in touch with her more. Too bad I can’t do this with my real mother right now. I’m sure we’d have some great conversations, but then again, my mom is used to having daughters around.

---<>---

Caitlin is running late so we put off the promised fashion show of my San Francisco purchases until after our current shopping adventure. Climbing into Caitlin’s car I notice her two sidekicks, Jamie and Ilana are with her. Neither seem too happy to see me. Another good reason to put off the fashion show.

“Good morning, girls,” I say as brightly as I can.

A noncommittal “Hi” is all I get back from the bitchy duo.

“Hey, girl friend,” Caitlin greets me brightly, “Are we ready to shop or what? I can hardly wait to help you update your image.”

Oh no, I’m doomed. This could be Alaska all over again.

“So, what’s the plan?” she continues.

“Well,” I reply, “We’re supposed to meet up with Laurie and her friends as well as Suzie and her friends, and some of the other girls from the running team at one o’clock in the center court of the mall and then go from there.”

The ride to the mall is a tense affair. Caitlin’s two sidekicks aren’t in a good mood. I try to make happy small talk with them but don’t get much in response–I suspect they’re having security problems. They can probably feel the gulf opening between them and their friend and view me as the source of the problem. I wonder if there is a way to get them to change as well.

As we approach the center court of the mall, it looks as if a small convention of girls has assembled. Laurie and her friends are there as well as a couple of other runners plus Suzie and what looks like the whole cheer squad. There must be a couple dozen teen girls assembled. Any wise teen boy would avoid such an assemblage. Have you ever try to break into an assembled mass of girls?  It’s pretty intimidating but, now I’m one of them, things are different.

“There she is,” exclaims Suzie as she catches sight of our little group.

I’m introduced to the group, most of whom I already know from my previous life. A couple of the cheerleaders look at the Jamie and Ilana with a touch of distain because both are looking almost slutty today. Maybe we should work on doing a makeover on their wardrobes instead of mine.

“So,” one of the cheerleaders says as she looks me up and down, “you’re the famous Tina. I’ve been hearing a lot about you.”

“Me too,” says another. “It’s like, Tina this and Tina that from just about everyone.”

“What do you mean?” I ask. “I haven’t done anything.”

“Maybe not,” another replies, “but you’ve made quite the splash since you’ve arrived.”

For the life of me, I can’t think of anything I’ve done which would garner such attention.

Fortunately, the conversation drifts away from my popularity and to the main focus of the afternoon–shopping. It’s also fortunate this trip is not all about me. Most of the other girls are pretty excited about looking for something new for themselves. 

It seems every girl in the gaggle seems to have some definite opinion about my personality and what I need to do to update my wardrobe to enhance it. Unfortunately they don’t all agree, but we do agree to share any real finds with each other which we think might be of interest.

Our first stop is Macy’s Women’s at one end of the mall and, through the afternoon, we work our way through the mall, on both levels, to JCPenny at the other end. I spend most of the afternoon in dressing rooms as the girls bring me an endless stream of things to try on.  Each ensemble is thoroughly evaluated by whichever set of the girls who happen to be in the area at the time. I get to help critique some of the outfits tried on by the other girls as well. As the day wears on, I’m starting to get a better sense of the intricacies of teen girl fashion. I learn a lot about which tops go with which bottoms–both pants and skirts–as well as which occasions warrant which types of clothes. I’m also starting to get a feel for the accessories to complete a look. There’s a real art behind choosing the right clothes and accessories and I get instruction from some of the best experts from my school. Even Caitlin–who views herself as somewhat of a fashion guru–is learning from the experience and ends up with a few items which are substantially less slutty–but still trendy–than she normally wears. In the end, I have surprisingly few items for all the effort but I now have a much greater ability to choose my own fashions. 

Over the course of the afternoon, each of the girls tries to learn more about me. They want to know the movies I like, what music I listen to, what it’s like to live in the dark frozen north, if I have a boyfriend at home, and more. I try to take an active interest in each of them as well, asking them many of the same questions they are asking me.

Most of the cheerleaders have, or have had, boyfriends. Many of the guys are discussed in minute detail. Several of the girls are no longer virgins and they don’t seem shy about sharing their exploits. And I thought guys were bad about discussing their conquests–silly me–the girls are a lot more open and frank. Several of us blush pretty hard during these discussions which quickly labels us as being the virgins of the group. There is also a lot of discussion about what makes for a good boyfriend. There is not total agreement on the subject, but being tall, strong, and gentle seem to be high on the list of qualities for a good boyfriend. When it comes to sex there is general agreement amongst the experienced girls that bigger is better in the male equipment department.

One thing that seems strange to me, is that I’m finding Brain Central paying pretty close attention to all this discussion. Even the part about the boys. At one point, when one of the girls is describing one of her trysts in embarrassingly explicit detail, I find myself strangely fascinated–dare I say even maybe slightly aroused? The sensations I’m experiencing are definitely feeling strange though oddly familiar. What would it be like to experience sex as a female? Not that I’ve ever experienced more than self stimulation as a guy, sex as a male has always been something I’ve taken as an eventuality. Heck, I still do–even though lacking the proper equipment has made the visualization harder to relate to as time progresses. But what about sex as a girl? I have the equipment now to find out–and I find it responds to the visualization quite well–but I’m not any more prepared for sex now as a girl than I was a few weeks ago as a boy. I’m resolved that sex is just one female experience I’m NOT going to have this summer. Especially now that I’m a girl, I just can’t get past the thought that casual sex brings on more problems than the pleasure is worth. Still, the idea is intriguing–from an academic stand point. My limited experience with the erotic zones of my new body would indicate it might actually be more than slightly pleasurable. It certainly seems so from what these girls are saying.

Laurie notices my attention to the stories. She elbows me in the ribs and gives me a concerned look.  A short while later, she pulls me aside from the group.

“You’re not thinking of giving up your virginity, are you?” she questions me.

“No,” I reply hastily, “It’s just I’ve never really thought about what sex must be like from a girl’s point of view. After listening to these girls it sounds more interesting than I would have thought. I was just thinking it’s one female experience I’m not going to have.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” she says with obvious relief. “I was afraid that maybe your morals were starting to change.”

“Don’t you ever think of sex and what it’ll be like?” I ask her.

Before she gets a chance to answer me one of the runner girls calls to us, “Hey, girls. Are you coming or not?” as the group starts to move to another department. I can tell by the blush that Laurie and I are due for a girl-to-girl chat about boys and the facts of life.

As we move to yet another store, I find myself looking at the guys around us in a whole new way. I’m trying to work out what the other girls see in them. A lot of the boys hanging out at the mall have the low rider baggy pants with hooded sweatshirt look–most look pretty scruffy. I never liked the look when I was a guy and I find I don’t like it as a girl: I’ve always classified guys who dress that way as losers. I suspect if you want to find an athletic guy on a Sunday afternoon, the mall is not the place to do it. The other girls seem to agree with me on that one when I mention my observation.

My favorite shop of the day ends up being the Lady Foot Locker.  The cheerleaders and runners like it too. The shop has a surprisingly good selection of casual clothes in addition to all their athletic stuff.  While we’re there, Caitlin talks with the staff about ordering team shirts for our new running ‘team’. The options presented cost way more than regular T-shirts would cost. I suspect she’ll have a hard sell getting her Dad on board with this order, plus we’d have to find something different for the guys.

One of my goals for the day is to get a pay-as-you-go cell phone for making calls I don’t want the security team to know about. I need to do it when no one is looking. The only problem with my plan is there are always half a dozen or more girls around when I try to go find one.  I try excusing myself to go to the restroom, but four of them decide it sounds like fun and join me. After a while I just give up, realizing getting a new cell phone is not going to happen today.

Late in the afternoon, we stop by the food court and each descends on our preferred food provider–I observe Caitlin keeping clear of McDonalds as if it is diseased. I suspect she’ll never go to one again willingly. She really hates her job.

Around six o’clock girls start leaving the group for other activities. I make sure to give each a hug and thank them for helping me. Jamie and Ilana are two of the first to leave, having found alternative transportation; I don’t think they really connected with any of the other girls. It’s a shame they can’t let go of their bitchy ways.

Eventually Amy drags Laurie off to spend the evening at her house. When Caitlin takes me home she comes in for the promised fashion show.

“Caitlin,” I ask as I sort through my new purchases and she goes through my closet, “why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“I wonder sometimes,” she replies holding up the dress I bought on my Alaska shopping spree. “This dress looks pretty nice for a tomboy to own. Will you model it for me?” she asks before continuing. I take the dress from her and start to disrobe.

“I’ve met a couple of boys who have made me melt on sight,” she continues, “but none of them seem to notice me at all. I try to look nice and all, but it never seems to work. The guys I’ve dated seem more interested in getting me out of my panties and onto their thing, rather than being interested in me as a person. I’ve had to walk away from a few dates and have my Mom come rescue me. It’s sooo embarrassing.”

Wearing nothing by my panties, I pull a strapless pushup bra from my underwear drawer and deftly put it on.

“You should probably wear a thong with this dress,” she observes.

As I’m changing my panties for the thong she continues.

“It’s hard to find a dreamy guy who isn’t only interested in sex. I think most guys will go out with just about any girl who will spread her legs. They don’t care what she looks like; they just want to get between a pair of female legs.”

I think she’s over reacting a bit as I pull on the dress. She must have had some really negative experiences. I know I wasn’t that way when I was a boy. “Aren’t there any guys around here who are decent?” I ask.

“Wow, girl! That’s one hot dress. You’re going to have to find a reason to wear it around here. Where are the shoes you wore with it?” she asks. “Yeah, there are a few cool guys around but they’re very hard to attract.”

I pull the shoes out of the closet and ask, “So who d’you think the greatest catch in your class is? Maybe I can help you snag him.”

She pauses in thought for a minute. She’s obviously struggling with what she wants to say. “You have to promise me you won’t tell ANYONE this,” Caitlin says emphatically. “I’m only telling you this because you’re my best friend and I know I can trust you.”

“You can trust me,” I tell her with sincerity, “after all I’ll be gone in a couple of months.”

“Okay,” she leans close and whispers. “But you can’t tell anyone–especially your cousin. I’d just die if she found out. If I could pick any guy to be my boyfriend,” she pauses and looks furtively around, “it would be Chris Quinn. God, I get wet every time I even think of that boy.”

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I’m afraid that it is time for another real life break.  Sorry! I had hoped to get further than I did this summer. Never fear, though, there are a lot more adventures already mapped out for our heroine/hero. The big questions that seem to be bothering everyone need to be answered, and they will be.

What form will the Laurie/Tina/Chris relationship take at the end of the summer?
How will Tina disappear at the end of the summer?
Just who are the bad guys, if indeed there are bad guys?
and more…

Tina will be back around Christmas… but will Chris ever be?

Thanks again to Gabi for all her assistance with editing.

Thanks to all you readers who have fueled the fire with your comments.

See ya’ in a few months with more.

-          Tiff Q