All the work I post here is in its first draft format. I do this so that you can still read what I'm writing and so you have a reason to buy my books when they are edited and published, alongside supporting me as a person of course.

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Rairy Contrary Chapter 1 An Asshole

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Mom was sleeping on her bed, I placed my feet slowly one in front of the other glancing at her as I slowly crept forward. When I finally reached my destination I let out a sigh of relief. I slowly opened her jewelry case revealing a mirror and my face. I started digging through the case looking for my favorite earrings, a smile spread across my lips as I found them.

I lifted them to my ears while staring at myself in the cases little mirror. I imagined that my hair was long and styled like Becky’s at school instead of this ugly boy hair I had. I slipped out of my illusion and stared at my hair. I hated my short hair.

I heard the movement before I could see it. I reflexively ducked down and after a moment or two when I didn’t hear any further movement I slowly stood back up. As I rose I glanced at the bed. Empty.

I turned around and Mom was standing behind me looking down. She had a look of disappointment and fury on her face.

I saw her lips move as if in slow motion, “Raymond!” she shouted.

I quickly turned around, put the earrings back in the box and closed it.

“YOU LITTLE SHIT!” she screamed this time as she grabbed me by the arm. “When are you going to learn to stop touching my things!?”

She dragged me out of her room, into the hall and pulled me up close to her face spitting as she spoke, “You wanna touch my things!?“ She threw me into my room from the hallway, I bounced a few times on my butt. I could feel the rugburns forming as my hands skidded on the carpet. “I’ll show you something of mine!” She yelled, slammed the door and locked it from the outside.

I scrambled to my feet, ran up to the door, grabbed the doorknob and twisted. It wouldn’t budge. I screamed at the door, “Mom!” I banged a few times, “LET ME OUT!” I slid down following the frame of the door and curled up. I spoke softly this time, “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll never do it again.”

The door opened pushing me into the corner, “Where are you, you little Shit!?” I heard her say. She took a step inside my room and closed the door, leaving the two of us alone in my bedroom. She turned around and saw me cowering in the corner. I saw what she went to get and it was all too familiar to me. She got the paddle.

“There you are!” She spat, grabbed me by my arm again and flung me on my bed. “Assume the position!”

“Mom plea-”

She slapped down the paddle on the bed next to me and screamed, “ASSUME THE POSITION!”

Tears were flooding my face as I slowly slid off the bed, turned around to face the bed again and bent over.

“Pull them down!”

I pulled down my pants revealing my naked bottom. Mom had drilled holes into the paddle so I could hear it before it hit me. It made getting spanked all the more painful. I don’t know if it was the anticipation or the whistle that scared me the most. The whistle started and the pai-

I woke up with a start and nearly falling out of my chair. Another goddamn nightmare. “Fuck!” I whispered. I felt pressure on my right arm and my body suddenly shift. My chair and face were now on the floor. I looked up and Howard was looking down at me from his desk next to mine with a smug look.

“Rairy, get off the floor this instant!” Mr. Bumble shouted at me.

I slowly pulled myself up using my desk as leverage. *I fucking hate 4th period.* I thought.

I got back into my chair and looked over at Howard giving him the nastiest look I could muster. He looked at me and mouthed the word ‘faggot’ at me.

Just then the bell rang and all the kids started packing things up to go to lunch.

“Everyone remember we have a test tomorrow. Rairy, come talk to me when you’re packed up.” Mr. Bumble said.

I closed my books and put my papers in my binder. I felt a buzzing from my hip and pulled out my phone to see who was messaging me. My foster Mom sent me a message.

CAROL: GET HOME IMMEDIATELY YOU NEED TO WATCH ALLEN.

“Shit.” I spat out. I put everything into my pack and walked up to Mr. Bumbles desk.

He looked down at me and said, “I saw you sleeping in class again, Rairy.” he shook his head and sighed, “This is a college prep class you NEED to pay attention.”

“I will, I’m sorry Mr. B.” I forced out. Truthfully this stuff was too easy for me but if I wanted to get the credit I needed to do the work. If only these foster parents would stop making me watch the other kids.

“I want you to do some extra work to make up for all the days you’ve been missing.” Mr. Bumble said as he pulled out a big packet from his desk. He handed the packet to me, “I want to see this done by the end of the week.”

“Thank you, Mr. B., I’ll get it done.” I tried to reassure him.

He stared at me for a moment and asked, “Is everything ok at home?”

I turned around and stuffed the packet into my pack while sarcastically saying, “Just fuckin dandy.”

When I turned back around Mr. B’s face looked angry.

“Look Mr. B, these foster parents are the best I’ve had so far. Just two more years and I’m out of there. I’ll make up the work, I promise.” I tried to explain.

He slowly shook his head at me, I took that as a queue for me to leave, before I could get out of the room he said, “You’re too smart for this Rairy, get the work done.”

Smart, just because I am quiet and actually listen doesn’t mean I’m smart. *For fuck's Sake.* I thought to myself. *When the hell are people going to just leave me alone?*

I checked the time on my phone and it said ‘Eleven Thirty-One.’ I only had a few minutes to catch Mrs. Law so I ran to her English class which was my next class after Mr. Bumbles Psychology class.

I made it just as she was about to close the door. “Mrs. Law!” I panted out. She turned to look at me as I caught my breath. “Can you get me today's work?”

Her face turned sour and she said, ‘Ms. Clark, shouldn’t you be at lunch?”

I sighed and nodded at her. I explained, “I have something that came up and I won’t be able to make it to today’s class.”

“Ms. Clark, you shouldn’t be missing my classes like this.” She let out another little sigh and she headed back into her class, grabbed some paperwork from her desk hurried back to the door and handed it to me.

“I don’t want to miss class bu-”

She cut me off, “But you can’t help it. Yeah, I’ve heard it before. You better talk with your foster mother or we are going to have to report her.“

Reporting her meant that she might lose me and wouldn’t be making money from me living there anymore. “I will,” I responded. Carol my foster mother had been good to me but I didn’t want her getting into trouble so I would try to break it to her as softly as possible.

This year was pretty lite when it came to how many classes I needed to take. I doubled up last year just to get out of watching any of the brats. I was starting to regret it though because Carol started making me watch the younger kids when I was off. Sometimes, like today, she would make me get out early. She and her husband began fostering me last year and they were the most lenient foster’s I’d had by far. They would let me stay out a lot later than the last foster family. I mean when I could go out.

I rushed back down the hall towards the courtyard where everyone was having lunch. I saw my friend Becky hanging out at our usual spot and rushed over to her.

She looked up and saw me come over. Immediately she said, “You have to watch the brats don’t you?”

I nodded at her and said, “She said I only need to watch one of the brats and I have the car today too.”

“Shit, we could have gone out to eat!”

“Yeah, that’s foster parents for you though.”

Becky and I had been friends for years now. I had been tossed from foster family to foster family and most of the time I swapped it wasn’t my fault. At least that's what I like to tell myself. Of course, all of the families blamed me. I’ve never really been abused by any of the families but some would be extremely militant. Militant and me didn’t mix at all.

“Anyways I’m gonna head off Becks, call me after school? I asked.

She nodded. She would likely text me most of the day but we did that all the time anyway. I gave her a wave and rushed towards the parking lot.

I was almost out of the courtyard when I tripped and fell sideways bumping into a nearby bench with several kids on it. I grabbed my hip and fell backward into one of the kids, he pushed me off of him. The ground came quickly and my head hit something hard. I balled up holding onto my head. I could feel the tears coming to mess up my makeup.

I heard someone ask, “Is she ok?”

Another voice, “I don’t know.”

A girl this time, “Rairy?” I was able to focus some, it sounded like Becks.

I slightly moved one of my hands peeking through the hole I had made. I saw Becky kneeling in front of me with her hand hovering just above my shoulder. She knew better than to touch me when I was like this.

I heard stomping and saw Ms. Anderson come running up, “Howard Finkel!” I leaned up to see Howard a few feet away from me which made me scurry away. My knees were bare and it hurt as I crawled away. I put as much distance as possible between Howard and myself, which put me behind the bench I fell onto. I looked up and there was a boy looking down at me from the bench.

Usually, people didn’t look at me so I checked myself to see if my clothes were ok. My skirt was hiked up so people could see my underwear so I quickly fixed it and glared up at the boy.

He shrugged down at me and turned back to his friends. *Asshole,* I thought.

I tucked my hair behind my ear, peeked up over the table and saw that Ms. Anderson was walking away with Howard. I still wasn’t quite sure what had happened or how I had tripped but if it was Howard’s fault, I hope he got suspended or expelled or something. He’s such a royal pain in the ass, this time literally.

I plopped back down on the ground and just then Becks came over to me and helped me back up.

“Come with me,” she said.

She lead us to the girl's room and I stopped at the door.

“Don’t worry,” she whispered. “If anyone says anything I’ll kick their ass.” While I found her sentiments reassuring, I doubt she could beat up the school staff. There were laws here in North Carolina about trans people and bathrooms. I started transition last year and my foster parents especially Carol had helped me with seeing a doctor and therapist to get hormones. It’d been a year and I hadn't had much of an issue with the bathrooms. Then again I avoided public restrooms like the plague, I got into the habit of using the staff restroom anyways.

I let her take me inside, reluctantly. By this time I was pretty sure most people knew I was trans; having transitioned here at school. I wondered if they were afraid of me or something. So far only Howard had mocked me or called me names. I avoided most social situations and found that if you’re not social and not around people they can’t bully you. The ‘roll safe’ meme popped into my head.

Becks lead me over to the sink and had me sit on it. I made sure my skirt was properly under me and legs closed so I didn’t get any looks down there. I realized that I was shaking and tried rubbing my hands together to see if it would help. It didn’t.

Becks came over with a wad of toilet paper and wet it in the sink. She dabbed at my knees and I saw specks of red spread onto the toilet paper. I’d never had problems with seeing my own blood but for some reason, I became a little queasy. It was probably the combination of being in the girl’s room and seeing the blood that made me rush to one of the toilets and let loose whatever was still in my stomach from breakfast. After I was done I walked back over to the sink and washed out my mouth. I hated throwing up, most people probably did but I especially didn’t like it.

I looked at myself in the mirror, my makeup was completely screwed up. I looked behind me in the mirror and saw a stunned Becky.

“Sometimes I don’t know if I even know you anymore.” I saw Becky say in the mirror.

She had known me as both Raymond and Rairy. I was only a few inches taller than her, the hormones I was taking had put a stop to any further growth that most guys might experience. I was thankful for being only around five foot seven, it was definitely tall enough for me.

I had adapted pretty well to the whole being a female thing, perhaps she was just noticing. Before I transitioned to female, I was already dressing feminine and had long hair to match. Last year most people were confused when I came into a room and now I was pretty much indistinguishable from a cisgender girl. At least that’s what my therapist says.

I’d always had a sort of ‘get it done now’ type of personality so I didn’t have much trouble academically. That’s why I dressed the way I wanted before transition, I think Carol sympathized with me and genuinely wanted to help make my life better. From my experience, most of the foster parents I was with were in it for the money. Having someone genuine like Carol was a relief.

I femininely waved my hand to the side and said, “What?”

Becks started laughing at that and lightly hugged me from behind. “I love you, you know that?” she said between giggles.

“Yup,” I said matter-of-factly.

She gave me a little punch on the arm and said, “Ooof, sorry.” She had punched me on the right-hand side and I fell on my left so I had that going for me at least.

Just then I felt a pang of pain in my hip. I let out a hiss and turned to the side where it hurt, lowered my skirt, raised my blouse a bit and saw a large bruise already starting to form.

“Shit!” I said.

Becky came around the side and took a glance. “Ooohhh that’s gonna bruise,” she stated the obvious.

I tucked my blouse back into my skirt and looked down at my knees. They were scraped up but not as bad as I first thought. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed that my hair was tucked back behind my ear and quickly untucked the hair letting it loose. My hair is brown, not my favorite color but it went down just past my shoulders. I learned how to style it from watching multiple youtube videos. It was messed up so I did my best to fix it. I grabbed my bag and fixed my makeup as well.

“Wow, you’re getting good at that.” I saw Becky staring at me in the mirror. She looked down and said, “I’m not even that good yet.”

I turned around and she looked back up at me. I said, “It’s just practice.” There was a stray hair on my arm so I grabbed at it a few times till I finally got a hold on it, walked over to the trash and put it in there. “Hey, next time I’m over I’ll show you how I learned. Honestly, I just watched some youtube makeup tutorials.” I shrugged as I said the last part.

I looked around and realized where I was again. I began packing everything back up into my very pink pack when someone walked into the room with us.

My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest. I slowly looked over and it was Ms. Anderson. I wasn’t sure if I should be relieved or what.

“Are you ok?” Ms. Anderson was looking at me when she said it.

“Y-yes,” I said meekly.

She asked, “Where are you hurt?”

I looked down at my knees and pulled up one of them showing her, then lowered my skirt and lifted my blouse again to show her the bruise.

She gasped at the bruise, it looked a lot bigger than it was only moments ago. I don’t know why but I started crying, perhaps it was because she was an adult. She slowly approached me and gave me a small hug. I was petrified she must have noticed because she let go right away.

“He pushed her,” Becky said.

Ms. Anderson looked at her and nodded, “Yes he did, I saw the whole thing.”

I just realized that my makeup was likely a mess again and turned around to look. Yeah, it was. *Fuck!* I thought.

I started digging through my bag again for my makeup and had a really hard time finding it. When I did finally bring it out, my hands were so shaky I couldn’t even open my compact. I started crying all over again.

I felt a hand on my left shoulder and saw it was Ms. Anderson’s in the mirror. “It’s ok honey,” she said softly.

I started shaking furiously, threw off her hand and ran over behind Becky.

Ms. Anderson’s face was a mix of confusion and shock.

Becky put up her hands to calm Ms. Anderson and said, “That was too close to her face, she doesn’t like people touching her face.”

“What, why?” the teacher asked.

Becky slowly turned around looked me in the eyes and I looked back at hers. I calmed down a little then nodded at her. She slowly lifted up my hair showing off the left side of my face and ear. I saw Ms. Anderson’s face go from shock to horror.

“Her mother did it to her when she was young.”

“Oh my god.” Ms. Anderson sighed and gave me a look of sympathy. I didn’t like those looks. Why? Because they never bought back my ear.

My mother sliced off the lower part of my ear when I was around eight. I punched her in the face, otherwise, I wouldn’t have any of my ear left. That was the year I ran away from home. A police officer found me eventually and I’ve been in the system ever since. I don’t know where my mother is, I don’t really care either. No matter what foster home I was in, none of them were worse than living with my Mom.

“She’s still in jail as far as I know,” I said flatly.

I walked around Becky and went back to the sink and attempted to put on my makeup. I messed up a few times but eventually got it.

I didn’t know what Ms. Anderson and Becky were doing but I know they were silent. They were probably watching me which I didn’t mind but it was a little rude. I looked back and neither of them was there.

I assumed they went outside, packed up my things and followed them out.

***

When I got outside, the courtyard was empty and no one else was out there. *Where the heck did they go?* I thought to myself. I checked the time on my phone and it said ‘Twelve Forty-Three.’ Apparently, I was in there a lot longer than I thought.

I was about to head back into the bathroom when I heard someone yelling. “YOU FUCKING BITCH!” I turned around and I saw Howard running at me full speed.

I went right back into the girls room, slammed the door behind me and leaned against it. My heart was pounding in my ears.

*Shit, shit, shit!* I mentally screamed. I hoped the door wou-

The door flung open sending me sliding across the bathroom floor until I hit the wall, hard.

“You fucking bitch!” I heard Howard scream. “You got me fucking suspended!”

I was trying to breathe but was having a hard time catching my breath. I could see him walking towards me and suddenly I felt something slam into my chest. I tried to inhale and I couldn’t. I tried to curl up but immediately felt another blow this time to my stomach.

I looked up and saw someone grab Howard and my vision faded to white.

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