I, by chance, had met the bully from my former high school two-hundred miles away. Talk about coincidences! Even more incredible, he recognized me … kind of.

“Haven’t we met before?” he inquired.

“Wow, that’s an old line!” (OMG. When I was a boy, you wanted to kick my ass, now you’re gonna hit on me?)

“No! It’s not a line! I think I’ve seen your face before! Have you ever been to San Antonio?”

“Yeah, I had a couple of cousins who lived there.”

“What’s their names?”

“Lisa Rivers and Tracy Brooks.”

“Yeah! I’m Bryan Smith. I went to high school with both of ‘em! You look just like them! Actually, you look just like Tracy, but prettier. Lisa was beautiful! I see now that it runs in the family.” (You asshole! You’re not even worthy to make comments about the way either of them looks ... and I don’t need your compliments!)

“Were you a friend of Tracy’s?” (I knew the answer to that before I asked it! You wanted to beat the shit out of him, remember?)

“Nah. We hung out with different crowds.” (Yeah, you hung out with a group of thugs and you bullied kids like Tracy.)

“I don’t know that he hung out with a crowd. He was always really shy.”

“Yeah. Hey! You live around here?” (Yes, but you’re not going to get my address.)

“Not too far, Kirby Drive in River Oaks.”

“Oh. I’ll bet you’re a snob.”

“Yeah, guess so.” (Too much of a snob to have anything to do with you.)

“Oh, you admit it?”

“Well, I just think my family is better than most people.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah, I gotta go now.” I discarded my trash and left. I think he was too stunned to say anything. He probably knew it would be hopeless to ask for my phone number or address. He watched me from inside the restaurant as I got into my Mercedes and I saw him shake his head. Yes, I was rude, but it was nothing next to the way he had treated Tracy. He had that and more coming, but I really hoped I would never see him again. It was kind of cool with low humidity; unusual for that time of year. I opened the windows and felt the breeze as I drove. It felt good to get back into the nice weather after putting that asshole in his place. I was kind of like closing an unpleasant chapter in my life.

Then, something happened. It wasn’t something you could see. It was like a light switch clicking, I thought about him standing in the restaurant watching me leave and I felt something I never thought I would feel for Bryan … pity, and worse than that, forgiveness. I knew next to nothing about him, his family, or his life. I knew nothing of whatever he had to endure. Everyone has their trials and, I’m sure Bryan was no exception. Incidents in high school seemed ages ago. Suddenly, I felt shame that I was harboring resentment about things that happened so long ago. No matter what evil picture of Bryan I painted in my mind, I realized that he was just human. He had a mom and dad who loved him … or did he? So many problems arise when that question is not answered in the positive. So, with the pity and the questions about his life came forgiveness.

For most people, forgiveness is a conscious, sometimes difficult procedure. A person realizes she has wronged someone, agonizes over it, and goes to the person and (sometimes painfully) talks to the person about what occurred, and asks the person for forgiveness. That didn’t take long to write, but in real life, it can take years. Even after the “forgiveness”, the forgiver may struggle for even years longer to convince herself that she has actually forgiven. It doesn’t work that way for me; I forgive quickly and involuntarily. It’s mostly the ‘involuntarily’ part that upsets me.

“Crap,” I said out loud. Then, I thought, “Why can’t I just be normal and hold a grudge? How am I ever gonna make people pay when they mistreat me? ‘Oh, don’t worry; you can shit all over Sarah. She may threaten you, but she’s all bark and no bite.’” “Crap.” I said it again. I was angry at myself for forgiving Bryan, but it was done … Bryan was forgiven. All that was left was to tell him. How would I tell him? “My cousin, Tracy, says you bullied him in high school, but he wants you to know he forgives you?” No, I’ll just forgive him for the rude way I acted at our last meeting and leave it to Tracy talk to him about the past. Yes, I know there is no Tracy any more. Well … bygones.

I also had to straighten out the issue of my family being superior. That reflected on my whole family. Boy! I made a mess of things when I ran into Bryan!

I told Lisa about the encounter with Bryan, and she thought it was hilarious. I didn’t say anything to her about forgiveness, because she would think I was a wimp, but when I told my dad about it. He responded with Bible scripture.

“Honey, Matthew Chapter 5, verses 44 and 45 read, ‘But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.’”

“Well, Daddy, maybe God used me to send rain on Bryan.”

“You have it backward. Most people think ‘rain’ in that scripture means that God brings curses on both the just and the unjust. Remember the part of the world where Jesus came to earth was very arid and rain was a blessing. The scripture is saying that both the just and the unjust receive blessings.”

“Well, maybe it was the sun I brought down on him, because I’m pretty sure he was burning before I was finished with him.”

“So you should apologize to him.”

“I know, Daddy. Despite everything, I’ve forgiven him. I didn’t want to, but I can’t help it. I’ve tried many times to hold a grudge, but it’s just not in me!”

“Sarah, I’m so glad to hear you say that. I am so glad and proud right now! Remember, the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. You forgave him even when you didn’t even want to! That’s the spirit working through you; a sign that God is working your life! Don’t ever lose that!”

“Ok, if I see him again I’ll apologize. It’s a big city. It was a real coincidence that I ran into him at all. It probably won’t happen again.”

“Just remember Proverbs, ‘Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.’”

That scripture hit home. I thought about it and, before I knew it, I was starting to leak a few tears. “You’re right, Daddy, I’m sorry. Thank you, Daddy!” I decided that, should I meet Bryan again, I would make things right. Maybe I would tell him my story. No … scratch that. The story could come back to bite me … maybe bring about “a fall,” especially if someone like Bryan has the information. I don’t think The Bible says you have to tell an enemy your life story. I decided I would apologize if I ran into Bryan again, and forget about it for now, since it was unlikely that I would see him again.

Why did my dad always bring up The Bible? Well, his straight-laced attitude was a big part of the reason for his success. That was undeniable, and it wasn’t long ago I was blubbering and telling him how proud of I was for the way he followed the straight and narrow path. I just wasn’t thinking just how narrow was that path. I made a vow to myself to follow that path as my daddy does, even with the multitude of temptations to stray.

After those considerations, I really wanted to talk to Bryan again. I felt I had been inexcusably cruel. I didn’t really know whether he was hitting on me. I knew little about him or his life. It was natural that he didn’t want to confess to bullying my “cousin”. I didn’t know what crosses he might have to bear. Also, it was a coincidence that I ran into him the first time, but he probably lived in the area where we met. I decided I would stop at that burger joint frequently to see if he was there. People change after high school. He’s probably not a bully, now. Maybe he’s a great guy. Who knows? We might … no … forget that! I figure I’ll tell him I know how he treated Tracy. He owes Tracy an apology and if he doesn’t know that, he hasn’t changed. I’ll still apologize to him for my rudeness, and without any indication of regret about Tracy on his part, that will be the end of it.

I thought about my dad’s reaction to my meeting with Bryan. I was proud of rudeness and arrogance until I talked with my dad about it. I was no longer proud and was ready to make things right. Once again, my dad showed how awesome he was. He indicated what he would do in the situation, and caused me to want to emulate him. This is called “discipline”. So many people confuse the words “discipline” and “punishment”. Punishment is what is resorted to when a subject rejects discipline. Discipline, based on the word disciple and it’s about setting an example to follow. It’s not just about “do as I say,” it’s about “do as I do”. What a wonderful example my father sets! I have never known him to lie, to break the law, or to harm anyone. He loved his family and my mom and was unquestionably devoted to us. He had his rules, but he made us understand that each and every rule was for the good of the individual and, by extension, for the good of the family. I hate to compare him to Lisa’s dad because the two were like different species.

My mom loved my dad and lived her life to make him a better man, and for the good of the family. When I think about it, my family actually was better than most; not inherently better, but better because my dad and my mom worked together to see that we were the best people possible. We weren’t snobs, as I led Bryan to believe, we were generous, caring people. My dad gave to charities, but he set up a company so that he could give anonymously. He didn’t take a deduction for charity on his income tax because he said that is what The Bible means when it says “don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing”. He was audited once by the IRS, and when the auditor looked into where a large amount of money went and saw that it went to charity anonymously, he complimented my father and put a quick end to the audit. He said looking for discrepancies in the records of someone like my dad would be an exercise in futility.

I asked him once why he went to all the trouble to give to charity without taking advantage of a tax break. He told me that The Bible says giving should be in secret and the Father would reward you openly. Everyone who knew about his giving, and that was only the family, his lawyer and his accountant, were amazed by the way he handled this. The accountant showed my dad the financial advantage of taking the tax deduction, trying in vain to get my dad to change. My dad courageously refused, and the accountant got angry and told my dad he was being foolish. Dad got a new accountant; a big blow to the accountant, but my dad said it wasn’t a good partnership if the two partners don’t agree on something so important. He also said that he refused to have an employee tell him he’s foolish.

By this time, Katy had finished the legal work and had a patent that protected my dad’s idea. He realized that people would have to see the window to appreciate it, but he didn’t want a parade passing through the house, so he rented a small storefront just outside of River Oaks. He also hired a person to show the window and a full-time security service. He opened it on a Monday at 9:00AM. At 10:30AM, Lisa and I decided to see how things were going. When we got close to the store, however, the traffic was too bad to get close. Apparently, there was a shooting or a fire in the area. We went back home and figured we’d go back after things settled down.

We went back at 2:00PM, and the traffic was worse. We asked a man on the street what all the excitement was about. “There’s a new store with some kind of special graphics where you can see in another state!”

“Oh my God, Sarah! This is all about your dad’s window … our dad’s window!”

“You’re right. We’re gonna have to train some people to build windows. If we don’t, we’ll never make it to college!” We parked and started walking, but we couldn’t get to the store. We called Aunt Katy’s cell phone and she let us in the back door. She was giving demonstrations of the window, while two new employees were compiling waiting lists of potential customers. She announced a web address to find more information and to get on a waiting list. That thinned the crowd out some. At 7pm she asked everyone to leave. The place was a mess, but Aunt Katy just locked up and left it. Whether we would open the next day was questionable. My dad had extra guards posted that night.

That evening, the whole family had a meeting about what to do. My dad decided to talk to the company he worked for to see if they could help. We had figured there would be demand for the product, but we had greatly underestimated that demand. The next day, my dad had someone go and remove the window and close down the store. Everything related to the window was on hold. Dad said his work with DNA was far more important than a window, regardless of how creative and entertaining that window.

The company had to send engineers, lawyers, and other people to inspect the window. Everyone was duly impressed and Dad worked out an awesome agreement regarding the window. A new company would be formed to handle franchising of the product and set up a production facility in Houston. Facilities would be set up in other locations should the need arise. The best part of the agreement was that my dad would be the 51% shareholder. He was free to devote full time to his real job without losing control of his creation. DNA research was his overriding interest and, I think he knew more about it than anyone in the world.

The pressure was off all of us in the family. Lisa and I were free to get educated, mom to return to her photography, and Aunt Katy to her online business or law. The window was awesome, but no longer having responsibility for it was like a weight lifted off all our shoulders.

Next: Apologizing

Note: For a look around the Brooks’ neighborhood, go to:

https://www.google.com/maps/@29.7507781,-95.4185729,3a,75y,0.79h,87.58t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sYcy5Ok82kBu9cFJ0OxuiYw!2e0!7i16384!8i8192?hl=en&authuser=0

This link uses Google Maps – Street View. I assume that, if you use Google, you have Google maps. I’m not sure.