For Christmas vacation, my maternal grandparents were planning a trip from Tennessee. Their last visit was at Christmas 2 years before. Needless to say, a lot had changed.

My mom had spoken with them about my gender issue and my grandmother understood completely. My grandfather, however, was another story. As he saw it, his grandson had had a male to female sex change and was destined for hell. An uncomfortable, possibly heartbreaking confrontation was brewing.

I anxiously awaited their coming, dreading the possibility that my issue would drive a wedge between such an otherwise wonderful, loving person and myself. My mom reminded me that there was no sense in trying to hide or minimize the changes, and I should place myself right out there. My dad’s office was near the airport, so he said he would pick them up. When my mom got the call that they were on their way, I put on a nice dress and got Lisa to be with me on the front porch of our mansion. I had already told my dad not to mention anything about me during the ride over.
Lisa and I were sitting in the big chairs on the front porch when they drove up. We stood up and walked toward the car. Lisa gave my grandfather a hug and said, “Remember me?”

My grandfather thought a few seconds, then said, “You look like my granddaughter Lisa, but she’s just a little bitty thing. You’re practically a woman!”

“I’m 15 years old!”

“Oh my goodness, you’re an old lady!”

Lisa smiled, then turned to hug grandmother.

I hugged my grandfather and said, “Remember me?”

He smiled and said, “No, I don’t believe we’ve met, but I’m pleased to meet you. I’m always pleased to meet a pretty girl!”

“I’m Sarah!”

That brought a blank look from. He didn’t know a ‘Sarah’.

“Sarah’s name used to be Tracy, Pop,” my dad interjected. “She decided to change it.”

Grandfather’s smile began to fade. He didn’t look upset or angry, but confused. The word ‘Alzheimer’s’ flashed through my mind. He stood there a few seconds, then he looked at my mom and said, “I need to sit down.”

Everyone scrambled to get grandfather into one of the porch chairs.

He sat and looked at me in disbelief. He squinted his eyes as if that would help him see better. “No, this is not possible! This is not my grandson.”

“That’s right,” said Dad, “she’s now your granddaughter!

“If you’ll claim me”, I added.

My grandfather was speechless. He sat with his mouth open.

When it was obvious that he wasn’t going to say anything, my dad broke the silence. “Well, come on in y’all. Y’all need to see the house!”

We all went inside. My grandfather looked like he was far away in thought. He had seen transsexuals that looked like men, and I think that’s what he expected. He had never seen a boy become a pretty girl. He didn’t think any such thing was possible. He stole a glance at me every few seconds when he thought I wasn’t looking.

They went into the living room, and my dad said, “Pop, come into my office for a little bit. I want to show you something.”

I suspected my dad had something to tell him rather than show him, and I suspected it was something concerning me. Dad had been doing research on my condition and I’m sure he wanted to educate his father-in-law. They were in my dad’s office for about 30 minutes. Lisa and I went to my room while my mom and grandmother caught up on all that had happened in the last 2 years. Of course, a good bit of their talk was concerning me.

Then, there was a knock on the door of my room. I opened the door and my grandfather was there. “I need to talk to you just a little.” He looked over my shoulder. “Lisa, get out.” He smiled at her. She understood that he meant no ill will by the words. That was just my grandfather’s way.

I sat on my bed and he sat on the chair at my dresser. “Your dad talked to me quite a bit about your situation and, I must say, it seems incredible, but babies are born every day with something … some part of their bodies that are unusual or not perfect. Your dad tells me that you have been a girl from the time you were born, and not just a boy who preferred to be a girl. He said you were born with the internal ‘plumbing’, if you want to call it that, of a girl, and you can even have a baby. That’s quite a bit different from the way I understood things. I want to say that I apologize for being so hard headed, and say to my new … well, maybe not ‘new’ … say to my granddaughter, ‘I love you’, and I look forward to the day … if I’m still around … when either you or Lisa present me with my first great-grandson … I mean … granddaughter … grandchild … either … it doesn’t matter, honest … it doesn’t matter. He or she will be great and grand!”

I walked over and hugged my grandfather. “Pop, I’m so happy that you understand. I love you so much, and I was afraid you wouldn’t love me anymore.”

“Well, to be honest Honey, if things were like I thought were, it would be … confusing. I was dreading the thought of seeing my grandson looking like a boy in a dress. You can understand, I hope.”

“Pop, you’re so funny! Yes, I can picture in my mind what you’re talking about. That would have been very uncomfortable!”

“When I look at you, all I see is ‘girl’! You know, you were always kinda … soft, I guess. Now, I see why. You fooled a lot of people … doctors! I guess I was the biggest fool of all. Sarah, you’re a beautiful girl! You’re gonna be a beautiful woman. I have two beautiful granddaughters, and they’re gonna have lots of beautiful babies … in the future. I don’t want to rush things. Don’t rush into getting married. There will be dozens of boys after both of you. Y’all get to pick the very best.”

“Right, Pop!” This was not the time to share my trepidations about boys.

“Ok, Sarah, I’m gonna go join the adults, and you and Lisa can do whatever teen-aged girls do.”

“Ok, Pop, love you.”

“Love you more.” He kissed me on the forehead and left my room.

Lisa rushed in as soon as he left. “Oh my God! I tried to listen through the door and couldn’t hear a thing! Is he angry? I guess not, he was smiling when he came out of your room.”

“He totally OK. My dad explained it to him so he could understand.”

“Oh, wow, that’s good. This family doesn’t need a big fight. I don’t guess I have to say it again, but I will. ‘Your dad is awesome!’ He’s probably the only person in the world who could make Pop understand!”

“Yeah, and he gets ‘awesomer’ every day!”

Next: The knockout