"He's gone. I'm going to be ME!"

Sometimes taking that first step is as big as 'One giant step for Mankind' and I've always been a woman. Haven't I?

Previously this was titled "I’ve done 25 – will I get to 26? Is it over." The OLD subtext said 'If these were lyrics they could be better – but I’m doing this My Way – or the highway – or the low way. And sorry – it may sound like this is going to be a suicide story – but – nope – not this time.'
I think it wasn't being read because of the bad vibes. I was trying to be punny about the number of 500-word stories. And jokes suggesting suicide don't work. Sorry.

The 25th AP-500 story - and none has, yet, been borrowed or adapted - come on, folks and folkesses,

Are you wondering why so many of us T-people don’t live long. Because we never get to live at all. The statistics are there for anyone interested to check. Even though the antis lie, exaggerate and twist. We probably do some of that too; saying we’re no longer a tiny minority – when actually we are a tiny minority. And the antis want nobody not-like-them. No ripples enough to touch THEIR lives – thank you.

I’m 25. Like I say, I’m not going to get to 26. During the next 365 days I’ll be getting rid of all of me – the OLD me. It’s time for a change. Ooops – Rewrite – It’s time for Change and THE Change, the ME-Change.

I seem a completely average bloke. Probably less exciting and less interesting than many. The skills I have are hugely gender-neutral. I like sports a bit – preferring team games where there’s cooperation rather than the one-on-one competitive stuff. I get emotional, passionate, excited, excitable, -which some attribute more to women. I like to dress well – some men do but all women try. I’ve taken tests – and I come out just that bit feminine.

And I feel better that way. I’m not going to sing the Sinatra version – but my future IS going to be MY way.

I’ve been labelled in various ways throughout my life. Baby, child, teen, man. Bouncy, lively, graceful, adventurous, excitable, then studious, bookish, geek; as well as kind, generous, friendly then quiet and careful; interested, interesting then withdrawn and watchful.

Did you notice the change? Are you wondering when it happened? I know. I know exactly.

It was the day I read about people like me. The days after I was labelled ‘different’. The days after the bullies began to target me for not fitting their prescribed and proscribed boxes. Nasty-minded monsters. No, no – that’s my label for them; not their’s for me.

Gay, ponce, poofter, homo, faggot, fairy, girl, and so many other words. Freak, wazz, words which were local or school slang. I got them all. And that was just the verbal abuse. I had no friends; certainly nobody who would stand up with me or for me. I had no secondary status which might have protected me. I wasn’t ‘the best’ at anything. Some other freaks avoided the worst by being ‘The Chess Club star’ or ‘that Kid who …..’. Not me.

But just days before my 14th birthday – I read this amazing article at the dentists. And, suddenly, I wasn’t alone and secondly, I had a new label that fitted me. I was a girl – with a plumbing problem. Wow!

It’s taken just over 11 years – but any moment now, I’ll be ending this job and starting another. I’ll be clearing my apartment and moving into a new house (small but mine). I’ll be closing all my web-accounts – and opening new ones.

No more Miles Andrew Jacobs. I will be Melissa Jay Andrews. Double-Wow!!

I wanna be FREE. I will be ME!

As per above - this is the 25th AP-500 story.

Only one of the previous 24 has done far better than the rest; 3 are slow (maybe because their subject is clearly unkind). Still none has been begged, borrowed or stolen. I’m about to re-read and see if I want to do some self-building!