"How's that?" she had asked as she had taken my left hand and placed it under her bra. "So soft and nice," I had responded as I had gently fondled her. Almost in an instant my memory had merged into my own pleasure as I continued to touch myself. "What's so soft and nice, Celyn?" asked my Mother as she strode into my room. |
Vol. 2.07
The sun streamed through the window of my bedroom, casting the pattern of the window frame in shadow on the wall above my bed. As I sat in my armchair, watching the motes of dust dancing in the light, I thought about the previous two days.
I had gone to school with some trepidation on Tuesday, after receiving the alarming text message the day before. At first I had been on tenterhooks expecting to be outed at any moment but when that didn't happen by the end of the day I began to think that it had been some silly joke by one of my friends.
Wednesday had gone even better and this positive experience had given me even more confidence in my ability to continue appearing as a boy in school. Despite this success I was still grateful for the day off for my medical appointments.
It was already very warm, even though it was only just after nine in the morning.
"Are you ready yet Celyn?" shouted my Mother from downstairs.
"Almost," I yelled back before hurriedly getting up from the armchair to sit down at my desk to finish applying my makeup according to the exact instructions I had been given.
"Celyn, you need to make more of an effort with your appearance than that, " my Mother had said earlier, with exasperation, after she had examined with displeasure my previous two attempts," you're not a boy anymore, you're a girl and girls always take care to look pretty."
I smiled as I mentally pictured some of the girls in school who would definitely not agree with her viewpoint before busying myself with my task. Feeling a little uncomfortable in the summer warmth I slipped off my dressing gown and adjusted the desk mirror to show my whole face. The light breeze brushing my naked shoulders caused me to shiver a little as I reached for the mascara.
The movement of my body had caused the usual jiggle in my chest. I was becoming a little concerned the way the 'boob-fairy' was being too eager and too generous in bestowing her blessings. At the rate I was developing I was worried that I would be as well endowed as my sister and Mother long before I had finished my courses, and stopped being a boy, in school.
I finished the last touches of my lipstick and looked carefully at my face to judge the overall effect. As usual it was a shock to see a very pretty girl staring back at me and copying my every expression. Sometimes I had to work hard to imprint the person that stared back at me into my self image. I wondered what my friends would say to see me now.
Thinking back to how I had felt a mere six months ago, under the influence of the first, and last, trickle of male hormones into my body, I knew that my male friends would be fascinated to see my boobs.
As I absent-mindedly circled my left nipple with my right index finger I wondered what it would feel like to have someone else touch me there. I couldn't imagine ever wanting a boy to do that and the idea of touching a male penis was a nausea inducing idea. I felt my nipple harden and extend under my gentle touch and that took me back to the time I had taken Meryl to the cinema and she had let me touch her breasts as we sat at the back of the cinema.
"How's that?" she had asked as she had taken my left hand and placed it under her bra.
"So soft and nice," I had responded as I had gently fondled her. Almost in an instant my memory had merged into my own pleasure as I continued to touch myself.
"What's so soft and nice, Celyn?" asked my Mother as she strode into my room.
I stared at my unexpected visitor in complete incomprehension for a few seconds before responding in two ways.
Firstly my face lit up bright red in embarrassment at the realisation my Mother had heard me vocalising the memory of a sweet moment with my ex-girlfriend and also she had caught me playing with my boobs.
The second thing I did was to fold my arms across my chest and to glare at my intruder.
"Don't you ever knock?" I asked angrily.
"Celyn, we're both girls now so no need for false modesty," she replied calmly, " and also you really need to get a move on if we're not to be late for the first appointment. Come on I'll help you dress, I can't wait to see you in your new push-up and dress. Nice make-up by the way."
I sighed at my Mother's unrelenting crusade and resigned myself to my fate.
"You're looking very pretty today, Celyn," said Doctor Thomas as I sat opposite her, in her consulting room at University Hospital in Caerdydd, less than an hour later.
"Thank you Doctor Thomas, " I replied, smiling at the compliment, even while feeling uncomfortable wearing my push up bra and pink, high waist, low cut summer dress. My Mother had also insisted on a matching pink colour on my nails and my toes visible through my strappy, flat Roman sandals.
"Are you sure you're OK with these clothes, Celyn?" she asked, " and the makeup? I must say I'm a little surprised with your appearance today but pleased with your progress"
"It's OK, I know it's not my usual image and I would be more relaxed in t-shirt and shorts but I wanted to show you that I'm OK now with girly stuff," I replied, being careful not to let the Psychiatrist know what I really felt about the much too feminine outfit I was wearing.
Doctor Thomas smiled at me and made some notes on her computer.
"In that case," she said, after she had completed her typing," since you seem to becoming better adjusted to your transition I feel I could start seeing you monthly instead of fortnightly from now on. How do you feel about that?"
"I think it's a good idea," I responded, briefly clenching my fist, hidden on my lap, in triumph.
"Great," she said, before scribbling something on a piece of paper," if you can hand this to Janice in reception, on your way out, she'll make our next appointment."
Doctor Thomas stood up to show me out. I followed after her. She put her hand on the door handle to open it but then hesitated.
"One thing that puzzles me though, Celyn," she said.
"What's that?" I asked.
"I'm surprised that you have developed so quickly..um..there," she explained, indicating my obvious cleavage.
I laughed, a small, rather embarrassed sound.
"Doctor Thomas, it's..well you know..a padded bra," I explained, rather hesitantly," I'm not really big there at all."
"Oh, I see," she responded, smiling again," well I'm sure you'll get lots of attention from the boys looking like that. Take care Celyn, bye"
"Bye Doctor Thomas," I said as I walked out into the main office, the door closing behind me. I handed the slip of paper to Janice, the receptionist, and stood waiting for my Mother to come and confirm the next appointment.
As she walked over she raised her eyebrows. I gave her the thumbs up and she smiled in acknowledgement at the success of our plan to persuade Doctor Thomas to change the frequency of the appointments. The irritation of being all girled up for a day was a disagreeable experience that I now felt worth bearing. I was already anticipating the promised future weekends dressed as a boy and shopping trips to replenish my supply of male clothing.
An hour later in another part of the hospital we were in an almost identical waiting room, with a few other patients and relatives waiting for my next appointment.
Eventually we were called to see our young consultant.
"Hello Celyn, hello Mrs Morus. I hope you are well." said Dr Williams in his friendly West Walian accent, indicating two seats for us.
"Yes thanks," replied my Mother, giving me a reassuring squeeze with her hand.
"These are Celyn's latest blood results," he continued, holding up some sheets of paper with lists of figures and percentages," and everything is still excellent. In fact I was thinking maybe it might be appropriate to see you less often, maybe three monthly from now on. How do you feel about that?"
"That sounds like a good idea," responded my Mother.
"What do you think Celyn?" asked the doctor, turning to look at me.
"I agree with my Mum, " I replied as demurely as possible.
"That's good then. Now is there anything you wanted to raise with me about how the treatment is going?" he asked as he typed a few things on his computer.
"Everything is fine," responded my Mother, "isn't that true Celyn?"
My Mother and Doctor Williams both glanced in my direction.
"Well yes, things are OK," I replied, " although there is one thing that is bothering me a little."
"What's that?" asked both of the adults almost in unison.
"Well..I seem to be growing..you know..developing here," I explained a little unsure of the words to use," you know, my boobs are getting big so quickly. Is that normal?"
"Well as you may know breast size has a quite strong genetic component so most girls get similar development to their Mothers and other female relatives," said Doctor Williams as he moved his gaze from my cleavage to my Mother's and back again," and I see that your Mother is fairly well endowed."
I noticed my Mother was blushing a little at the comment by the young doctor.
"Yes, I understand that, " I said," but it all seems to be happening so quickly and...well it could cause problems in school."
Doctor Williams looked a little confused so I explained to him about the plan to attend school as a boy for another nine months to complete my examination courses. Once he had grasped the potential problems associated with too rapid breast development he promised to contact the research team in the states to see if he could modify the hormone dosage in my medication.
Twenty minutes later I was sat opposite my Mother in the hospital restaurant eating a chocolate brownie as she sipped her cappuccino.
"You are a sneaky child," she said smiling.
"Why's that?" I asked between bites in my treat.
"I wondered why you acquiesced so easily to wear the push-up bra this morning," she said.
"Why do you think I did that Mum?" I asked, wondering if she had worked it out.
She touched me gently on the shoulder before replying," because you wanted to give poor Doctor Williams the impression that your boobs are growing faster than they are."
"Don't worry Mum, I'm sure I'll get my 36C's soon enough, it'll just take a little longer now," I said as I smiled and finished my brownie. Two-nil to Celyn!
An hour and a half later my Mother at last escaped the usual heavy traffic around Pontypridd and pulled into the Maesglas estate. She parked outside number twenty three and for a few moments we sat in the car. My cousin Eifiona was planning to get married in a couple of years and my Mother had suggested me as a possible replacement for my sister as a possible bridesmaid.
"Don't worry Celyn it'll be fine, I'm sure that aunty Jane, Gwion and Eifiona, if she's there, will be OK with how you look," my Mother reassured, squeezing my arm," come lets go in."
We slowly walked up the path of the identikit three bedroom semi-detached house. Before we could knock the door was flung open and my Aunty Jane stood there in all her plump glory.
"Haf, lovely to see you," she said as she walked forward to hug my Mum," and Celyn, how you've changed."
"Hi Aunty Jane," I said politely as I stood there waiting for the usual embrace.
I felt a little hurt when after a moment's hesitation my Mother's sister turned away and walked back into the house. We followed her into the lounge and sat down while she prepared a cups of tea.
As we sipped our tea and the two women caught up on family gossip I felt myself to be under intense scrutiny although every time I caught my aunt's stare she immediately looked away.
"Celyn, this must be boring for you," said my Mum, after a while," why don't you go and say hello to Gwion?"
I put my cup down, glad to escape the continuous visual examination, and made my way up the stairs to my cousin's room. We only saw each other a few times a year, Christmas and occasional visits, but I generally enjoyed his company.
I knocked on his door.
"Come in," came the muffled voice.
"Hi Gwion," I said to his back as he sat playing Sonic on his PlayStation Two.
"Hi Celyn, be with you in a minute, just got to finish this level," he replied.
I sat on the edge of his bed as he frantically tried to complete the stage of the game. Although he was a few months younger than me he was at least a head taller, the influence of his father who stood well over six foot.
After a few minutes he yelled in triumph and pausing his game spun in his chair towards me.
"Been trying to finish that..........................," he began before his voice trailed off as he took in my image change since the last time he had seen me.
For some moments his eyes were transfixed on my boobs before they moved over the rest of my body before returning to the first thing that had caught his attention.
"Something wrong?" I asked innocently.
"Ohmigod is that really you, Celyn?" he asked after a few more seconds ogling my cleavage.
"Yep, still me," I replied," and one thing you might not have noticed."
"What's that?" he said a little dreamily.
"My head is up here!" I said feeling a little irritated.
"Sorry, it's just hard to take in that my male cousin is now such a hot babe," he explained, " I mean I knew about the sex change but I never expected you to have tits and everything."
"Come on, how about going down the field, have you got some spare kit and trainers?" I suggested to take his mind off my new status as potential eye candy," and a tight t-shirt would be good."
He turned away from his study of my body and retrieved some clothes from his wardrobe.
I quickly unzipped and shimmied out of my dress before removing my bra and placing the two items carefully on my cousin's bed. I turned to see Gwion staring at my boobs, with what looked like an erection forming in his shorts
"Wow, they're great," he said, almost trance like as he ogled me again, "can I touch them?"
"No you bloody can't," I replied crossly," now hand me that t-shirt"
I grabbed it out of his hand and quickly pulled it over me. It was at least a size too small and I loved the way it almost completely flattened me.
Once I was dressed in the kit and had tied my hair back Gwion seemed to recover from his adolescent male fantasy and related to me in more usual way. Soon enough we were on the nearby field having a good kick about which soon transformed into a four a side game when some other boys joined us.
Eventually the others had to leave for their tea so we made our way back to the house.
"That was a great hat-trick," complimented my cousin as we walked through the door.
"You were bloody good too," I said before high-fiving my team mate.
His strange lack of response made me turn to see someone glaring at me.
"Celyn, what have you been doing?" asked my Mother angrily.
"Playing football with Gwion, " I replied a little puzzled by the strength of her reaction, "why?"
"Why? You ask. Are you serious?" she said, staring at me," Just look at what you've done to your makeup!"
"Sorry Mum," I said as apologetically as possible.
"Go and fetch your clothes and I'll see if I can do a repair job, I am so disappointed in you, Celyn," she said.
Later on there was a strange atmosphere at the tea table as both Aunty Jane and her daughter Eifiona, who had joined us from work, stared at me as if I was a Martian while Gwion reverted to his earlier behaviour. I was glad to finally escape to make our way home.
ä»ä»ä»ä»ä»
A couple of hours later I was at last in the refuge of my bedroom carefully removing my makeup. I was going to make sure that no one would notice any traces when I went to school in the morning.
My phone buzzed announcing the arrival of message. I flicked it open and then almost dropped it in shock as I read it.
'You weren't at school today, I am watching over you'
I picked up the phone and pressed to dial the text number, when the answerphone came on I was so angry I yelled.
"Why the fuck don't you leave me alone!!!" and threw the phone down on bed.
I put my head on the table and started sobbing, the tears were soon streaking the table cover with makeup. After a day dominated by Mum's feminising campaign, Gwion's arousal, Aunty Jane and Eifiona's's distaste, the anonymous message was really the last straw.
Why was the whole world so freaked out about what had happened to me!!
A few moments later I heard a noise
"Who were you shouting at? What's going on Celyn?" asked my Dad at the open door.
End of Vol. 2.07
Comments
Girl Play
This is an interesting chapter. Celyn seems to be an actor playing a girl part in a play. What will happen when the girl takes over? We've seen the future but the actual transition is interesting nonetheless.
Thanks very much for this. Please keep up the good work. :)
- Terry
Not a chance
Our heroine's mom seems determined to make her a girly-girl without any thought to how others react or how Celyn feels.
With how the rest of the family reacted I doubt she'll be making the bridal party, but with a reaction like that, why would she want to?
Celyn seems to me to be doing fine on her own without Mom's constant pushing, which doubtless only makes her more determined to hold on to her image of masculinity that much longer.
Melanie E.
It's sort of strange
I mean this girl thing is something I've been pondering on for 30 plus years. Yet I read this and I want Celyn to tell her Mum, in no uncertain terms, to take her pink dress and bloody makeup and shove it. I suppose that's knowing how much this stuff can mess you up. Thumbs up for emotion tweaking Alys. It might be a little back to front, but it's still good.
Kristina
There Is A Huge Difference
Actually having these feelings all our lives and being forced by circumstance like Celyn are two different things. I imagine that if you try to force someone with a normal gender identity to assume the role opposite to that, would be the same as forcing us to live in malemode when we are really female. I know Celyn was forced to become female as a result of a medical problem, but I have a real problem with the forced feminisation stories where it is done by using abuse and bondage. Celyn's mother is not thinking of her child's feelings about all this. Her aunt and cousin were wrong not to show her support when they saw her. I guess they were shocked, but it was still uncalled for.
Hugs,
Jen
All through this
The mother has been a heartless person determined to get what she wants, irregardless of any feelings Celyn may have. Makes a compelling argument for Child Protective Services.
Oh, yeah. Not knocking before entering is just rude, no matter the supposed sex of the parent and child. One more example of the essentially unfit nature of the mother. People who don't respect others generally don't respect themselves either, I've heard.
KJT
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Mom
Is just trying to create Celyn in her own image. People who think they know
what's right, regardless of the issue at hand, are the most dangerous of all.
I can only hope that on the day the Celyn faces the fact that he can no longer
be a boy (If in fact that is where this story is going. ;) ), that he will be
stronger for it. Mom could be being a real bastard, because she is afraid for
her child.
Sarah
Her Mom Mentioned Celyn As A Replacement Bridesmaid
Her mother is using Celyn to replace Karyn, because Karyn has embraced the Goth lifestyle. She is trying to throw Celyn into the deep end of the pool before she is ready. She dreams of having the girly girl daughter that she was denied, but I noticed that the aunt or cousin never once said anything about her being a replacement bridesmaid the whole time they were there.
Celyn Gets Fitted for a Bridesmaid's Dress.....
in Vol. 4.14. An email from Auntie Jane is referred to; so, it must have been decided that she could do it.
Fear
There's no denying that Mom is pushy, and lacking proper "boundaries" in just barging in like that.
But like you say Sarah, she's afraid. I think her wanting to turn Celyn into the ultimate girly-girl is born
(at least in part) out of a desire to protect her. Like this is her concept of stealth; that "other girls might have the luxury of wearing jeans & no makeup, but my poor Celyn can't affort to leave any doubt as to her femininity", without realizing that dolling up like old Tammy Faye Baker (or Gainsborough's 'Pinky' if you don't know the American reference) just to go to the corner store might be a dead giveaway in itself.
~~~hugs, Laika
.
Oh, and let me be the first to start hounding Alys for a PART V to this magnificent saga!
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Poor Celyn
We have to remember that, unlike most of us, Celyn does not want to be a girl, but she has no choice. Mum is a total menace. I can remember how embarrassing my parents could be when I was a teenager, but Celyn's mum is something else. How stupid, unfeeling and insensitive can a mother be, while still professing to love her child? The reaction from the rellies I can understand, particularly the cousin. He's just your normal teenage male. I thought the atmosphere created by Alys was so right, and,even though it's not the correct thing to do, I had a little giggle,
Joanne
Alys, You ROCK!
Doesn't matter which story of yours is posted on a given day, it cheers me up to know I'm going to get to read it!!
I agree with the others though, something MUST be done about Celyn's mother!! :D
Huggles!!
Alexis
The words
'Oil' and 'Boiling' spring to mind when I think of the mother. I think Celyn should be the best judge of what's best for Celyn. For crying out loud; her parents almost lost their second child to cancer. You'd think they'd have more clue and more sensitivity.
I'll jump off the hobby-horse now and cook lunch. Maybe throwing some pots and pans about will calm me down a bit.
Yours angrily but still very admiringly,
Susie