The State does not make mistakes -28-

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The State does not make mistakes

28 - Nearby Explosions

by Penny Lane



At dinner with the Mattesons and Jane, Marion and Belle learn what happened during the Guardian Council meeting earlier that day and discover that there are unexpected consequences for them all.



Disclaimer: The original characters and plot of this story are the property of the author. No infringement of pre-existing copyright is intended. This story is copyright (c) 2010 Penny Lane. All rights reserved.

"Service, Belle, Marion. Do come on in." Annelise closed the door behind them.

"Service, Annelise. What on earth has happened today, then?"

"I've not had much detail, mostly some hints from a call Marcus made as he left the meeting. Go on through to the living room, please, I'll be along shortly, I was talking to the catering staff when you arrived. Oh! Maybe I'm assuming something I shouldn't. Are you both okay with fish tonight? Because it's such a short notice thing, the Catering Service suggested some of the fresh salmon they have on hand for another job."

"Salmon will do fine for me," Belle replied. "Marion?"

"Yes, me too, thank you. I haven't had any fish for a while."

Belle and Marion walked through to the living room. As guests in someone else's home, they both felt uncomfortable being left to their own devices and just stood in the middle of the room waiting for Annelise to return. Then they wandered over to the window to look out at the view.

The sun was low and the shadow of the building stretched out a long way in front of them, setting the edge of Old Town below this side of the Enclave in near darkness. To their left, the old and sometimes ancient buildings that comprised Old Town caught the light of the setting sun, and street lights were already on. In front and to their right, more modern buildings, many industrial, stretched away into the gloom. Although Belle had seen this view many times, the contrast between the view on each side of the Enclave always surprised her.

"Auntie Belle! Auntie Marion!"

They turned to see that Josie and Gretta had come into the room, presumably after finishing their dinner. In the doorway behind them stood a smiling Jane.

"Service, girls," Belle greeted them. "Service, Jane."

"Have you come to visit us?" asked Josie, and Gretta added, "Are you taking us to the park again?"

"Ah, tonight is a business visit," Belle replied. "I'm not sure we'll have much time to do anything before your father gets home. But yes, we hope to take you to the park again, day after tomorrow. Auntie Marion has especially bought some new dresses just so that she can look nice when we take you to the park next time."

"Service, Jane," Marion said. "I gather you had an interesting day yesterday. Our apologies that we weren't around."

Jane smiled again. "Ah, well, it was only earth-shaking. I dare say that shopping takes precedence over even that. You'll love what I have to tell you, but it will have to wait till the girls go to bed, I think."

Josie made a face that indicated that even at the age of nine she was inquisitive enough to want to hear the story. Jane laughed.

"I think you'll be bored after a couple of minutes," she told Josie. "And once your father gets home he'll want to discuss affairs of State, from what your mother has learned, so we're going to be talking about things too complicated for you at the moment." Josie set her face. "Don't do that, Josie, you'll stay like that. Not to mention, our talk may be confidential. I don't want you to hear things you might accidentally mention at school next week."

"I won't say anything, you know I won't!"

"Actually, I believe you. But it's always possible for people to say things in such a way that they can find out things just by how you answer questions, or even how you refuse to answer them. So, it's better if you don't know, then you can't be made to tell."

Josie considered this for a while and then reluctantly conceded. "But you'll tell us something, when it's possible?"

Jane gave a rueful smile. "I suspect I won't have to, it'll be all over the news by next week, I imagine. But at the moment, it's not, so we have to respect the secrecy rules. Okay?"

"Yes, Jane."

The door announcer went and they watched Annelise hurry off along the passage to find out who was there. Shortly she reappeared followed by Marcus and a black-uniformed State Security officer. All came into the living room. The officer nodded to Jane who returned the signal.

"Is Lieutenant Sievert remaining here, Citizen Minister?" he asked Marcus.

Marcus nodded, "Yes, she'll be here all evening. Thank you, Major. I'll call you in the morning when I need an escort."

The officer saluted Marcus and left.

Annelise looked surprised. "You get an escort now, do you? Or is he a guard?"

"Escort," Marcus replied briefly. He turned to Marion and Belle. "Service, friends. Whoo! What a day!"

His daughters had come and wrapped themselves around him as soon as the State Security officer had gone. "Greetings, girls! I've had a rare old day today, and I'm quite tired. Have you had dinner?"

"Yes, daddy," Gretta replied. "Are there nasty things happening? Will we have to move again? I don't want to go to another school, I like this one."

Marcus laughed. "No! No, nothing like that. We're staying right here, although there will be a few small changes in the future." He gave a quick significant glance at Jane. "You won't be changing schools just at the moment."

Annelise crossed to Marcus and she leaned across her daughters to give him a welcoming kiss. She said, "Dinner will be in about twenty minutes or so, I think. It was all arranged at short notice, so the service may not be up to scratch."

"That's fine," he replied. "why don't I take the girls off to their room and spend a few minutes with them while you four relax in here? Help yourselves to drinks, please. Perhaps Jane can tell you about her bit of fun yesterday. That's one of the things that started the ball rolling today, I'll tell you about that over dinner."

Annelise raised an eyebrow and then nodded. "Go on, then. I'll look after our guests."

Gretta pulled a face. "Awww! Jane was reading us a story. Why can't Jane read us the story tonight?"

Annelise sighed. "All right! Jane, you'd better go with Marcus and sort these two out or we'll never hear the end of it. I'll look after Belle and Marion till dinner's ready."

After they were left alone, Annelise got Marion and Belle drinks and they sat and relaxed for a few moments.

"After Jane had her bit of excitement yesterday," Annelise explained, "Marcus thought he'd better go and see the First Minister and tell him what she'd found and what happened afterwards. He'd realised that it would make a difference how the First Minister tackled the Guardian Council meeting. So, off he went first thing and that's the last I saw of him until just now. But he called once the meeting had ended to say that there had been a huge ruckus and to get you two over here for dinner so that he could explain. I'm not sure whether the situation is good or bad, we'll have to wait for the gory details."

"Sounds mysterious," Belle said, sipping her drink.

"He did say there was no way they were going to keep what happened confidential. Apparently a number of ministers lost their jobs, and there were some arrests. Oh, and that you two were instrumental in causing it all. I got a bit anxious then, we all remember what has happened to people in the past when there's been trouble in the Council."

"Us?" Marion said. "How? Just because I wanted to come and live with Belle?"

Annelise shrugged. "Maybe. Perhaps that was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Perhaps there's something else you've managed to do that's upset everyone."

"Like what? Getting sent to the wrong kind of Containment Facility, perhaps? I thought all that got laid to rest when I was exonerated."

"We'll just have to wait for Marcus to tell us," Annelise said.

Marion put down her drink. "There is another matter," she said slowly. "But, we'd deliberately delayed forwarding the file until after the meeting just in case there was trouble today."

"What's that?" asked Belle. "Not that Julian thing you were going to tell me about."

"That Julian thing, yes. We've a few minutes, why not?"

Marion recounted the meeting she'd had with Proctor Julian where he had told them of his discoveries in the case which had originally seen her sent to Female Offender Containment Facility Five. In particular, she told them how the apparent software flaw had turned out to have become an engineered one, able to be turned on and off at will by unknown parties. And that this situation had existed for four years.

"Are you serious?" Annelise asked, alarm in her expression. "For four years someone has had the ability to create bogus ID cards?"

"I'm afraid so. Proctor Julian was in the process of forwarding his report to State Security, but I suggested he wait until after the Council meeting today in case there was some upheaval. I know it's easy for things to get lost in such circumstances."

"Oh, my. You'll have to tell him all you know, tonight. This is too important, even after all that's happened today."

"Tell me what, my sweet?" Marcus said from the doorway.

"Marcus, Marion has some... disturbing news. I don't know how it fits in with your own day, but you need to hear it tonight."

"More? Well, it might be something we covered today. Come, all of you, dinner is about to be served. Jane will be along in a few moments. The girls seem to have caught the mood, they say they will be quite happy left on their own for once."

The three women followed Marcus into the dining room and found seats around the table. Marcus opened and poured wine and then they waited for the soup starter to be served.

"The rule is suspended for this evening, Marcus," Annelise said. "I have a feeling we're going to need the time in order to cover everything."

"Yes," Marcus ruminated as he tested his wine, "you're probably right just this once. But let Jane tell her story first."

Jane arrived as the others were being served with soup, and she hurriedly took her seat and prepared herself for the meal.

"The girls are fine," she told Annelise. "Josie is reading one of her set schoolbooks and Gretta is almost asleep."

"I think it's time you told Belle and Marion what happened yesterday, Jane," Annelise said. "We'll talk over dinner just this once."

"Thank you, Annelise." Jane took some mouthfuls of soup before speaking.

"Once a week I have to go to the Security Centre to make a report on what I've been doing the past eight days," she began. "Pretty boring, as you can imagine. Every month I also have to make out an expenses claim, and I did that yesterday as well. Now, all the non-uniformed security personnel like myself always do our form-filling at the same time, and afterwards there's a meeting with Major Rodriguez where we get a quick debrief and an advance warning of special events that might affect us in the following week. You know the sort of thing.

"I got there early and finished my form-filling, and there were terminals free, so I took a chance and spent a few minutes trying to figure out how to query the residential database to find out which were Party members and which weren't. It's not easy doing that stuff, is it? I'd got to a position where I figured out that I could get the list I wanted in another couple of goes or so, when I realised that Major Rodriguez was leaning over my shoulder asking me what I thought I was doing accessing the residents' database."

"Oh," Belle said. "Busted."

"Exactly what I thought. So, I decided to tell him the truth. I told him I'd heard a Minister saying that this new Party membership rule had been proposed, and it had occurred to me to wonder how many residents in the Enclave weren't Party members." There was a twinkle in her eye as she continued, "I carefully didn't mention that the Minister I'd heard was actually speaking to me at the time!"

There was a chuckle from those round the table. A pause followed while they took care of the soup.

"This was the first that the good Major had heard of the proposal," she continued, "and his curiosity was roused, so he actually helped me figure out the correct query and run it. We had a list of forty-seven people, twenty-eight of whom were children. There were some significant names amongst the other nineteen, all of them being partners of Ministers or other qualified residents. The Major was still trying to find a justification for the new regulation when he discovered that his own partner was on the list."

There was another pause as the catering staff cleared the soup plates and utensils from the table. Jane obviously didn't want to talk while they were serving, since that was a fine way to start rumours flying around the Enclave's service staff. Once the salmon and vegetables had been served to all, and the caterers had retired, she resumed.

"Since the proposal seemed to fly in the face of common sense Major Rodriguez asked me what was going on, and so I told him about Marion wanting to come and live here with Belle, and the fact that there seemed to be an undercurrent trying to keep her out for no obvious reason. So he copied off the list and the debriefing meeting turned into a council of war. Of course, all the usual helpers like myself were there, and he told them about the proposal and what it could mean to the families on the list, and why I thought the proposal had been made in the first place. Everyone wanted to go and tell the families who employed them what it would mean. Some wanted to arrest the Education Minister who made the proposal. Things got ugly pretty quickly, I hadn't realised just how attached some of them had gotten attached to their charges.

"In the end Major Rodriguez had to use his rank to calm things down. He suggested that everyone should take a copy of the list and show it to the people who were on it. He suggested that they should point out what it would mean to that family, and to encourage their partners to use their own vetoes to stop the proposal when it came up for the vote today, rather than just creating a fuss now. He reasoned that if they just kicked up a fuss, the proposal would be withdrawn and replaced by something else just as bad that nobody would be able to do anything about before the vote.

"He also asked them to report back success or failure by yesterday evening in case further action needed to be taken." Jane looked at Marion and Belle. "You understand that, technically, ministerial proposals for Certificates of Exception were none of his business, aside from the small matter of his own partner being on the excluded list. I'm just glad that he could see the stupidity of that particular proposal and had the common sense to attempt to do something about it."

"Truth," Marcus said around a mouthful of salmon. "Bit of surprise, finding a State Security officer with a functioning brain." Jane fixed Marcus with a stare. He grinned. "Present company excepted, of course. Do go on."

"There's not a great deal more to tell. After I'd collected the girls from school I called the Major to find out if there were any further developments. It seemed that at least twelve Ministers and others had vowed to use their veto to defeat the proposal, which means that Marcus wouldn't have to, and that because of that his own proposal would be unlikely to be vetoed. It also seemed that a lot of people were asking questions as to why a properly-vetted citizen like Marion here was being denied residency here for apparently no reason, and that questions about that fact would be asked in the Council. I told Marcus, and he decided to go and talk to the First Minister and tell him the latest developments."

"That's exactly what I did," Marcus took up the story. "I called the First Minister yesterday evening, and used a code word to ask him to see me alone this morning. First thing, I went by car to the Mansion House and managed to get twenty minutes with him, told him everything that had happened. It would change the way that the afternoon meeting needed to be handled, but he said he could work around that to get what he wanted. I left him to go to my office, get some work done before I needed to go to the Guardian Council meeting after lunch. I'd barely gotten a kilometre from the Mansion House when I received an urgent call to return. The car was turned round, and I got back to his office to find the First Minister in a towering rage.

"After I had left, it seems that he had a few minutes to spare before his next appointment and he decided to pull up your files to see what all the fuss was about." He indicated Belle and Marion. "Belle he already knew about, in general terms, because of who she was. Marion's record came as a complete surprise. No-one had told him, myself included, that Marion Hillier had started life as Marlon Hillier. It just didn't occur to me, I suppose, and it didn't seem to be relevant to the current problem. Anyway, that got him into her original case, and that led to Director Pannal and so on. He had known none of this and he was absolutely furious. It appeared that the Justice Secretary had sat on the report I had written about the failures in Marion's case, and just passed it off as a once-off aberration in the system."

Marcus stopped eating and looked at them all, licking his lips, with a concerned expression on his face.

"You have to understand, I had never seen the First Minister in that state before. He's the sort of person who just gets on with everybody, everyone likes him naturally, it's just how he is. I did once see him annoyed, and that wasn't good. I'm glad there was nothing sharp in the room this time, I can tell you. I have never been so frightened in my life, and I was on his side!

"Fortunately, he did calm down quite quickly, and he appreciated that for my part I had done all that I was supposed to. He cleared his diary and we went into another session which lasted until lunch time. I had to tell him in detail everything that had happened in Marion's case. We dug into the case notes and discovered the linked cases, which took us into other areas he should have known about and didn't. One failure was bad enough, here was evidence of at least six! Capping it all he found Proctor Julian's final report describing the so-called systems failure and at that point I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel. It was clear evidence of a long-term plot and he went stamping round his office shouting treason! I just kept out of the way."

Marcus had another go at his dinner, and everyone else took the chance to continue eating. Soon they had finished and the catering staff were called to clear away ready for the dessert course.

"Marcus?" Annelise asked in a low voice as the plates were taken away, "this is going to end well, isn't it?"

"I think so, sweet. For now, at any rate."

Despite the active day Marion had had so far, she discovered that her appetite had gone and she just toyed with her dessert. This whole business had suddenly spiralled out of control to levels she hadn't known existed. She suspected that her quiet existence as a Counsellor in a Female Offender Containment Facility might be coming to an end, possibly in an unpleasant manner.

Marcus continued once the staff had withdrawn again. "Then the First Minister showed just why he is the First Minister. He became cold, calm and collected. There were several different problems which had to be handled and they all needed to be tackled in the Guardian Council meeting. His big problem was who to trust within State Security. He didn't know - and I don't either - if the ID card business was set up by criminal elements or by a rogue section within State Security or even, perhaps, the military. If it was State Security, he couldn't know if it was a rogue operation or worse, a sanctioned one, and it would be impossible to figure out which within the time at his disposal. Because he couldn't trust State Security, it meant that he only had his own detachment to rely on to carry out anything he might need during the afternoon."

"Caesar," muttered Annelise.

"Eh?"

"Caesar, you know, the Praetorian Guard. What did they teach you in school, for goodness sake?"

"What? Oh, yes, I hadn't spotted the parallel. Where was I? Oh, yes. He called the Defence Secretary in. Fortunately, he was available, he called him over on some plausible pretext and he turned up just before lunch. Now Secretary Forden hadn't exactly kept on top of his job or he would have put a stop to what we thought his Army minister had been doing, but he was technically an ally. We carefully explained to him what we thought he needed to know and he named some people we could trust. He then went off to contact them and make sure someone didn't bring about a coup d'etat behind our backs while we were deliberating in the Council."

"You thought there was going to be a coup?" Belle asked in surprise.

"We didn't know what to think at that point, so we had to have our backs covered," Marcus explained. "Paranoia?" He laughed nervously. "You don't know the meaning of the word! After Forden left we made a rough plan of what to do in the meeting then went and had some lunch together. We delayed leaving until just before the meeting started, we didn't want to get diverted along the way to the Assembly Building."

"I think we had better stop there, dear," Annelise said. "Let's finish up here and take our coffees into the living room to continue. That will give me a chance to look in on the girls along the way, and the catering staff can tidy up in here as well."

Desserts finished, they made their way back to the living room and found seats. Two of the catering staff appeared with cups, cream and a big flask of coffee which they left before returning to help the rest clear up and depart. Annelise appeared, closing the door behind her.

"They're both asleep," she said. "Everyone comfortable? Marcus, I'll pour out the coffees if you'll carry on with your tale."

"We got to the Grand Chamber and the First Minister had his detachment go round and throw out all the newsies and other hangers-on we usually get for these meetings," he said. "Normally, the meetings are quite boring, 'all those who say aye', interminable speeches, nit-picking arguments, that kind of thing. Not this time. A few didn't realise that something was going on at first, but you could almost feel the tension in the air. One or two looked as though they wanted to be elsewhere, but the First Minister's detachment stood by all the doors and it was obvious they'd be prevented leaving. In any case, it had been made clear that anyone who did leave before the end of the meeting would forfeit his or her job, and that kept most of them nailed to their seats.

"Instead of conducting the meeting in the usual fashion, the First Minister called for quiet and then started reading out the Education Minister's proposal. There were some calls for the proper procedure to be followed but most people could see he was out for blood and just shut the others up. The Education Minister stood up and tried to justify the proposal on the grounds that it would tidy up some 'minor irregularities' which had been pointed out to him. When the First Minister caustically told him that he hadn't done his homework and that his proposal would result in the eviction of the partners of thirteen Ministers, two High Justiciars and four generals plus twenty-eight children the poor man didn't know what to do with himself. It was obvious that he hadn't done even the simplest level of checking that Jane had done. He did the only thing possible in the circumstances - he resigned on the spot, and was immediately escorted from the room. I and some friends were watching the room closely to see who reacted to this little drama, and we passed on some names to the First Minister.

"Next, he told them that this proposal appeared to be designed to keep Citizen Marion Hillier from partnering Citizen Belle Marchand and thus taking up residence in the Enclave. He had decided to have a look at Citizen Hillier's background, and hadn't liked what he had found. He spelled out in detail what had happened to her, him, to the whole pack of them, all of whom sat and listened in stunned silence. You could have heard the proverbial pin drop. Most of them had seen the news reports at the time of Marion's exoneration, but like most had assumed that the reports were exaggerated as regrettably too many are these days."

Marcus gave a sickly smile. "He made me stand up and tell them exactly what I had discovered, and I told them that at the end I'd made a report and passed it to my boss Bloomfield, the Justice Secretary. Bloomfield tried to make out that the First Minister had misinterpreted the report and that the whole thing was blown up out of proportion. The First Minister asked him if he'd actually read the report and after some huffing and puffing he admitted he hadn't, because he didn't believe that much of what was in it had actually happened. The First Minister sacked him on the spot and had him taken into custody.

"That shook then all up a bit, so he decided to keep up the attack. He was speaking to the whole floor, but he was looking directly at the Army Minister as he did so, and I could see Oudhout squirming. He couldn't raise his eyes to meet those of the First Minister. The First Minister asked what the purpose of keeping these two citizens apart might be. He asked if perhaps someone had decided that they didn't like the partner Citizen Marchand had chosen, and why they thought that they had a better idea of who the daughter of a Founder should partner than she did. He asked if perhaps they disapproved of her partnering another woman, and then pointed out that when Belle had met Marion he was entirely male, and so far as he knew was still capable of fathering children.

"That got a reaction from Oudhout. He stood and said that he hadn't been aware that Citizen Hillier had been male to start with, and that he'd believed Citizen Hillier had been a criminal whom Citizen Marchand had befriended in the course of her job, and that he'd thought that she could have done better for a partner." Marcus grinned. "It then occurred to him that he'd been talked into admitting his part in the plot and he abruptly sat down again. It didn't do him any good, because he was immediately relieved of his post and arrested.

Marcus continued. "There were some voices arguing on the floor, calling for a debate. The First Minister decided to let them have their say. The point being made was that if the State had made the mistakes that the First Minister had just said it did, then ultimately it was all the First Minister's fault for appointing people who couldn't do their jobs, and shouldn't he consider his own position? There was a lot of talk about collective responsibility and rotten apples and everyone could see that the dissenters were leading up to a vote of confidence, so I stood up as arranged and called for one to try and draw their fire.

"The Purists and the Traditionalists voted solidly against, of course. The Conservatives didn't know what to do, about half voted each way. Fortunately the rest supported the First Minister and the vote was carried by almost two thirds. I should note that in these votes no-one is permitted to abstain, you are either for or against, and luckily we got away with it. I wasn't sure until that point whether he'd completely misjudged the mood of the Party or not.

"He spoke to the Council then and said that he respected the fact that some of them held different views to his own, but that as long as he had popular support then he would continue to try to govern in the way that he had originally told them he would when they had elected him First Minister. He then suggested that we'd better carry on and do what the meeting had been called for, namely to approve or reject various Certificates of Exception.

"The first order of business was to make sure that Marion got in, so that's what he did. He read out my proposal and asked if there were any objections. It was obvious that from the way he was speaking, anyone who dared object would be escorted from the room. When he called for Votes For, over half the room raised their hands. All the votes were recorded, so the Certificate of Exception becomes legally valid from that point. My dear," Marcus looked at Marion and smiled, "your struggle is over. You may now officially join Citizen Marchand in residence in the Enclave."

The tears ran down Marion's cheeks, and as she looked at Belle she saw that her partner was just as affected by the news.

"Thank you, Marcus," she said with difficulty. "That's the best news we've heard since, oh, yesterday, I suppose."

"Yesterday? What happened yesterday?" Marcus was temporarily derailed.

"Belle and I were granted unlimited childbearing authority. This is the first opportunity we've had to pass on the news."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Annelise exclaimed. "That's amazing news! Now you're all set, aren't you?"

"I suppose so, thank you. But we're interrupting Marcus, I'm sorry. Do carry on. What happened next?"

"Now I think about it, he was rather clever. Having got his vote of confidence, he then let the ordinary business of the session carry on as normal, which meant that most of them got lulled into a false sense of security. Well, almost normal, I suppose. There were eighteen proposals on the sheet, two had already been dealt with. Four of the rest were withdrawn by their proposers immediately, the First Minister let them get away with that without comment. It's possible those people had second thoughts about just how carefully they had considered their proposals, I don't know. The rest were about all kinds of things. Two got vetoed after discussion, the rest were passed, a couple after amendments. Nothing that doesn't happen normally on these occasions.

"Then, as they were all thinking about getting up and, frankly, running away from the Grand Chamber, the First Minister stood up again and raised his hand for quiet. They looked like a warren of rabbits faced by a stoat. He told them that something much more serious needed to be discussed, and that, as they all just happened to be present, it seemed like a good moment to discuss it. He told them that certain facts about the original case concerning Citizen Hillier hadn't yet been revealed, and that he was about to do so now.

"These concerned the fact that the system fault which had caused the original duplicate ID to be issued was not a one-off aberration, as the former Justice Secretary had maintained, but in fact had been part of a systematic conspiracy to enable person or persons unknown to be able to issue themselves IDs whenever they wanted to. You can bet that the use of the word conspiracy got everyone's attention. The First Minister then turned to the Secretary of State for Homeland Security, Jansen, and asked her in a mild voice how the investigation into this conspiracy was proceeding."

Marcus smirked. "I suppose it's funny now, but it certainly wasn't then. The poor woman had her mouth wide open, she obviously had no idea at all that such a thing was going on. She was smart enough, however, to stand up and admit that this was the first she had heard of it. The First Minister will respect someone who admits their limitations, so for the moment she still has her job. It seems that she is going to conduct a root and branch investigation of her own department to see why this has been happening without anything being brought to her attention." He shrugged. "It's possible it's just got lost in their bureaucracy, after all, I don't know what else State Security has on their plate these days."

"So you're saying that it wasn't a State Security plot, then?" Annelise asked.

Marcus shrugged. "Who knows? It may be running as a Black Op at some lower level for all we know. Jansen wasn't in charge when this all began, it's possible someone just decided not to tell her when she took up the post. At any rate, she stays in the post for now but there's a question mark over her competence."

"For such a critical post as that?" Belle asked. "I would have thought that you'd want someone there you can absolutely trust."

"Truth. But, if you go changing Secretaries at this point, it just gives any conspirators a chance to hide deeper during the changeover chaos. You know how these things work."

"Yes," Marion added. "That was the reason I asked Proctor Julian to sit on the file for a couple of days till the dust settled. Most people know what happens when there's trouble in the Guardian Council."

"You did? We wondered why the file hadn't been sent on to State Security. Oh. Was that the news you had that Annelise wanted us to hear?"

"Yes, Marcus. We weren't to know that the First Minister was going to go digging in my file, but perhaps it's just as well he did. That ensured the report went right to the top where it belonged."

"You're not kidding. Julian has evidence that the tampered fault fix has been there for four years? I can barely believe it myself. The First Minister had to be persuaded that it wasn't some kind of sick joke. When I pointed out to him that I'd met you, and that all the rest of the file was absolutely true so that there was no reason that part wasn't true, that was when he went rampaging around his office." Marcus shuddered. "I never want to have to experience that ever again."

"I've not met him," remarked Belle, "but from what I've seen on videos he always seemed like a calm, friendly figure who everyone seems to like immediately. I can't imagine him losing his temper."

"Can you imagine how I felt? I know him fairly well, and it was something of a shock. Just like having your favourite soppy dog suddenly turn round and bite you, not pleasant at all."

"Let's refresh the coffees before you continue, Marcus," Annelise said. "Do any of you want anything stronger? No?"

"So, the State Security Secretary didn't know," Belle mused. "What about the Ministers under her?"

"That's what I was coming to next," Marcus said. "All of them were present, of course, and Jansen turned round and asked them point blank if any of them had known anything about the matter. Enforcement and Protection wouldn't be expected to know, but Intelligence, Statistics and Investigation should all have turned up something, given that the problem's been there for four years. All three were sacked, arrested and led away. It's a tricky one. We rely on State Security to provide oversight over the government and the community generally. Who provides oversight over State Security? That's something the First Minister has to figure out now, amongst other things."

"I thought the Guardian Council did that," Marion said. "After all, they direct the policy of the Government, don't they?"

Marcus nodded. "Yes, that's so, but in practice the First Minister's Cabinet - that is to say, all his Secretaries and some of the more important Ministers plus the Chief of the Defence Staff handle the day-to-day policy decisions. The normal Guardian Council meetings provide a chance for the Party to review decisions after the fact and direct any adjustments necessary."

"So," asked Belle, "was that the end of it, then? Did they all scuttle out of there with their tails between their legs?"

"Not quite. Everybody now knows about the ID business and it's possible significance." He looked at Marion and Belle. "Everybody now knows about you two. This Guardian Council was unusual, and he will make them keep quiet about those things, but inevitably they're going to leak out sooner or later. He made a closing speech to try and prevent open warfare from breaking out. I can't remember exactly what he said, but for something thought up on the spur of the moment it sounded damn good.

"Something about how everyone says 'The State does not make mistakes', and how that's a good aspiration and the State should not make mistakes. About how that was an unreachable ideal and that the State, the Party and the Government was full of human beings who were inevitably going to make mistakes, and that's what all the laws and regulations were there to protect us from, and that the laws and regulations themselves were created by humans and were not necessarily perfect.

"About how every single person in the State wanted something different, and not to believe that because what you wanted was different to what the State wanted that that automatically made you a bad person. That a Party who all thought exactly the same was as bad as a Party who all thought differently."

Marcus shook his head. "There was a bit more, and I've probably garbled what he said anyway. It seemed to quiet a lot of them down, and they appeared to disperse in an orderly fashion so it might have done some good. I really don't understand how someone can make speeches like that. Annelise will tell you that whenever I've had to think up a speech it's made me sweat blood to get the words right.

"Anyway, that was the end of the session and most of them left, some in a hurry. A few the First Minister asked to stay behind, and he appointed those to fill the gaps in the ranks. Most irregular, since the Guardian Council would normally ratify any appointments, but I think that there wasn't anyone who would dare have objected to his choices today. Barrett got the Army post, Braisse was appointed as Minister for first level Education. O'Neill moved from Transport to State Security along with Bartolli and Jorgenson to fill the gaps, but I gather Jansen wants to shuffle some of the people who were left around, to get the experience where she wants it. Freya DuVerein takes the spot O'Neill left in Transport. You remember her, Annelise, she was in Housing when we were both there."

"Oh, yes, I remember her. Nice enough girl, if a bit stolid. What about the new Justice Secretary, Marcus?" Annelise asked. "You haven't said anything about a replacement for Bloomfield yet."

"The new Justice Secretary?" Marcus beamed, a broad smile that lit up the whole room. "That would be me."

"Why Marcus," Annelise scolded, "All this time and you never said anything! How could you?"

The four women had risen as one and converged on Marcus in order to congratulate him on his promotion. Annelise gave him a good solid hug and a long kiss, Belle got in a hug and a kiss on the cheek, Marion gave him a hug and Jane diffidently approached and shook his hand.

After they separated Marcus said, "I wanted to savour it for an hour or two. I knew what your reaction was going to be anyway. Thank you, friends, for your kind thoughts. I know I have a good team behind me."

His gaze fell on Marion and Belle and they both knew that he had included them in his words, and, furthermore, both recognised that they wanted to be part of his team.

"Well!" Annelise said. "I definitely think this calls for a toast. We need something better than coffee, what would everyone like to drink?"

While Annelise organised alcoholic beverages for all of them Belle asked, "Does your promotion mean that you won't be involved in Marion's latest schemes any more?"

Marcus laughed. "Have no fear of that, my dear. Ever since she started work at your facility, I have had an intercept put on all departmental communications. Anything that has her name on it or in it gets copied to my in-box. The issue of welfare is going to be an important one, and I'm quite happy to let Marion pilot it. If we can get something working, then I want to roll it out to all facilities as soon as we can. I'm hoping it's going to make a big difference, not least to the male facilities, since there are immense problems to be solved in those. The womens' facilities are quite tame by comparison. Ah, thank you, my dear."

Annelise raised her glass. "To the new Secretary of State for Justice," she said. "May his tenure in office be long and successful."

"Hear, hear." The others raised their glasses and drank, and then Marcus raised his in acknowledgement.

"Thank you again, friends. Please be seated." He waited before the women had got comfortable again before continuing. "That's not quite the end of the organisational changes for today." He turned to Jane. "Lieutenant Sievert."

Surprised by the mode of address, Jane sat up straight, just avoiding slopping her drink.

"Yes, Citizen Minister, ah, Citizen Secretary?"

"With the agreement of Secretary Jansen, you have been made up from Second Lieutenant to full Lieutenant in State Security as from today. Our thanks for the work you did yesterday have been noted on your file." Jane nodded. "While you have been promoted, you'll retain your existing position here. As a Secretary of State I now qualify for a permanent escort, and as you know how the family works I decided that you were the best person to run the escort for me."

"Thank you, Citizen Secretary."

"I want you to continue providing the services you did before to Annelise and the girls, as well as running the escort, if you think that's within your capabilities. You'll be able to select a Sergeant and six Troopers from the Enclave's non-uniformed complement to provide my escort. What do you think?"

Jane considered, then nodded. "Yes, Citizen Secretary. I'll have a free hand in choosing your escort? What will Major Rodriguez say?"

Marcus grinned. "Major Rodriguez is now Lieutenant-Colonel Rodriguez, though he doesn't know it yet, he'll find out tomorrow. The bump is partly because of his good sense yesterday. Like you he remains doing the same job he was previously. He'll be fine with it, new instructions will be issued from on high to cover the upheaval today's events will have caused, and the threat level has been raised because of the ID business so it justifies his raise in rank."

"I'd forgotten," Annelise said. "All those removals vans again. Those poor families uprooted and sent heavens knows where."

"Yes, it won't be pleasant, especially for those who have had someone arrested." Marcus shrugged. "It's the old story, isn't it? 'If you can't do the time, don't do the crime'."

"So I suppose you'll have to go off tomorrow morning and organise your new Department," Annelise said. "Does this mean that I'm not going to see as much of you in future?"

"Not if I can help it," he replied. "I have a good idea already how I'm going to reorganise, and I know just the people to put into place to keep things humming along, leaving me to handle overall policy. I plan to be here just as often as before, once the initial legwork has been done."

Marion sat and sipped her drink. The situation had changed completely in the last day, and the future was going to be different to what she had previously expected. Plots had been exposed, Ministers sacked, citizens arrested, government changed. Even her own job had been enlarged today. No, she thought, some good things have come out of this. We have childbearing permission, the residency has been sorted out, and with the First Minister behind us it's likely to stay that way. There's just one thing left to do, a formality, something I've had to put off till now. There's no reason to put it off any longer, is there? And what better place and time to do it, here amongst friends?

Marion turned to look at Belle, who was listening to what Marcus was telling Annelise.

"Hortense."

Belle's head snapped round to stare at Marion. The action caused the others to stop talking and look curiously at Marion. Probably none of them had realised what Belle's full name actually was.

"Hortense Fleurette Isabelle Marchand, I Offer Commitment," Marion said carefully.

The blood drained completely from Belle's face, the surprise complete. Whatever Belle had expected her to say tonight, that wasn't it. Realisation swiftly dawned that all the impediments to any legal relationship had been removed, and Belle launched herself out of her chair at Marion, her face now alight.

"I ACCEPT! IacceptIacceptIacceptIaccept! Yesyesyes!"

Belle flung herself on Marion, and they became a tangle in Marion's armchair. Belle grabbed Marion's face and started kissing it like the world was about to end. The others watched in unconcealed delight. Finally Belle noticed that they had an audience and pulled herself up, trying to straighten her clothing as she stood.

With a broad grin, Marcus said, "Heard and witnessed!"

"Heard and witnessed!" echoed Annelise.

Jane gave a big smile. "Heard and witnessed!"

"It took me a moment to put two and two together," added Annelise. "Of course, now the residency problem has been beaten to death and you just told us about the childbearing permission, there's no reason you shouldn't go ahead, is there? I think another toast is in order. The happy couple."

"The happy couple!"

So, of course, they had to tell Marcus, Annelise and Jane about what Sophia had said, and that they had an unlimited permission, and that it was possible Marion might be able to suckle their children. They had to say that they had only learned these facts yesterday and that they hadn't even had time to talk about it between themselves yet, and promptly got invited over for another dinner next week to talk families.

"Do you want to register your commitment right away?" Marcus asked. "We can do it in the office if you wish."

"Can we do that, Marcus?" Belle asked. "I thought you needed a lawyer or a notary to register something like that."

"Ah, you forget, I'm the Secretary of State for Justice. All those legal types work for me. If I can't register something like that, I don't know who can. If I do the registration, then we have two witnesses here, so I think it'll be all legal. Like to go and try it out?"

Of course, it wasn't quite that simple. Marcus had to make some calls to find out where the forms he wanted were located, and how to retrieve them with the right kind of authority. Eventually they went through the process, repeatedly inserting and removing cards to verify the Registrar, the Partners Committing and the Witnesses, and then Marcus said, "That's it. You're done. You are now officially, in the eyes of the State, registered as a Committed Partnership."

Because they were all standing in Marcus's office, it was easy for Marion to take Belle in her arms and give her a proper, heartfelt kiss to seal the moment. The others watched, all smiles, before they all returned to the living room for another toast.

*****

"I think," Belle said as she climbed into bed beside Marion, "that I quite fancy the idea of becoming a wife."

"It's just as well these apartments don't have pickups installed," Marion observed. "What brought that on? I thought the whole idea was that relationships were supposed to be equal now. No more husbands and wives. If you become a wife, what does that make me?"

"Um, that's a tricky one, isn't it?" Belle snuggled into Marion's arms. "You can be whichever you want, as the fancy takes you, I suppose. I was just amusing myself daydreaming before as I undressed. I suppose you're technically a husband, since you're still legally male. I could have been Mrs Belle Hillier, couldn't I? What's wrong with that? I think some of these discrimination laws are just plain daft."

"Daft or not, they're still the law of the land, so we have to put up with them. So, Mrs Hillier, you want to have a proper, public, commitment ceremony then?"

"Ah, I'm not so sure about that. I mean, yes, I'd really like a ceremony -"

"Let me guess. The white dress?"

"Oh, yes, of course! It's what every girl dreams of! But I was saying, for me, a public ceremony might be awkward just at the moment, what with being the daughter of a Founder and all. Especially if the details about us leak out."

There was silence, then, as they kissed and enjoyed the touch of one another's bodies.

"Does it feel different to you?" Belle said then. "It's silly, because all we did was push cards into a slot and press our thumbs on a pad, but I feel different now. We've made it, and we can begin to plan the rest of our lives together now. Even being in bed together like this seems different somehow."

"You're right, it does," Marion murmured.

We have made it, haven't we? We have had people I never imagined rallying around us, fixing our problems for us. Some of them are good friends now, people I never expected to even know. We have even had the First Minister helping us through! I know he's supposed to be an easy man to get on with, but I bet he has his own reasons for helping us today. Still, that's something to be faced in the future. For now, I have a partner, someone special who's been supporting me since the very start, someone to look after, someone who's going to bear my children, someone who I have come to love dearly. I have a place to live, somewhere I wouldn't even have been able to look in through the gates in a previous existence. I have a new job, with new staff and a new office, in a place I feel comfortable in. Life looks good right now.

"Hey! What's this?"

"That's part of my body, as you very well know. Mind what you do with those fingers."

"I thought that, with those pills Sophia gave you, that you weren't supposed to be able to do that any more."

"Give me a chance, will you? I only got given them yesterday afternoon, remember, and I didn't take one last night because we were so tired when we came back from shopping. I took the first one just now when I was brushing my teeth."

"So, this is still functional? Would you mind very much..?"

Marion kissed Belle tenderly. "Of course not, darling. It's the first night we are officially together, it would be appropriate, somehow. Just don't expect it for much longer. Tonight, we can do things the old-fashioned way, and I won't mind at all."

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Comments

Lovely!

If this ended right here, I wouldn't cry at all, except for the happy tears already shared!

Which, is not to say I'm not interested in the further adventures of Marion and Belle, because I am. They've been fun, to say the least. This has been a wonderful tale, and while I wouldn't mind if it never got any better, or longer, than this, I wouldn't put anything past our author, not one bit!

___________________
If a picture is worth 1000 words, this is at least part of my story.

Nice.

Renee_Heart2's picture

Nice wrap up before your summer break. Now that Bell & Marion are now officly a couple what will be instore for them when they return to work & tell there coworkers that the residency prob has been resolved & that they are now a couple.

Love Samantha Renee Heart

I could not have put it better

Wendy Jean's picture

I would defiantly be up for more.I suspect this hypothetical state is too unstable to last, Freedom seems to be lacking in a big way.

When it rains it pours

Secretary Marcus is definitely right - there is NO WAY it is going to be hushed up. This is what is called a successful pre-emptive strike. And HOW!!!

Major Rodriguez. He's one guy (well his subordinates too, naturally ;) ) that gives State Security a good name.
First Minister. Ummm, I suppose running for the hills is out of the question now, isn't it? Don't beat me pweese! ::whimpers:: I can imagine how shocking his demeanor was on the Guardian Council.
The entire Council Meeting. CMOA. CMOA. CMOA! CROWNING EPISODE OF AWESOME!!!

And of course, the proposal. CROWNING MOMENT OF HEARTWARMING!!! Magnificent! Superb! The sweetest thing I've read on this site since... Time Rip Chapter 10-Epilogue, Martina's story-11, Becoming Robin... Well the most recent was just yesterday. Okay, going off a tangent the entire site is Made of Good!

So... I take it there may be a break now that the proverbial bomb has exploded? Waaaaahh!

But what of the explosions promised in the headline? They kept me in suspence for the entire chapter! Did you put it just to mess with us your devoted readers? That would be Evil! :)

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Chapter Title

Not easy thinking of a title for this chapter. I decided that "Nearby Explosions" was the best of a bad job. Sounds better than "Fractious Meetings Attended by Others and Described by Third Parties", no?

This one was tricky to write, as it involved events Marion and Belle couldn't possibly attend but were intimately involved with. I hope I didn't make it too odd-sounding compared with what went before.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Penny

The State does not make mistakes -28-

WOW! You have covered a lot of ground in this chapter, yet have left a few possible plot lines to be resolved. I can see a few possibilities, but am waiting for you to show us what you have in store for Marion and Belle.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I'm still wondering about

I'm still wondering about something.

Where are Marion's old belongings? They were supposed to be released back to her after exoneration, much like her pocket contents; I'm assuming that includes her old partner's death certificate and belongings as well.

BW


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Old belongings

I hadn't forgotten about that stuff. You're quite right. Assume for the moment that the local housing agency where (s)he lived has it all in store but couldn't forward them because...

It's not that big a plot point, but it will be resolved in the next book.

Penny

It's okay.

I just find that stuff that's important to a character, however minor to the plot it might be, that's not resolved by the end of the story (or in a reasonable time frame) tends to eat at me. In this case, that's a ton of belongings that supposedly mean something to Marlon, if not Marion, as well as (potentially) a load of women's belongings that were his partner's.

I'll disagree with the other posters here, however; I don't think that the story was tied up enough to be able to be ended now. If the person behind the ID scam HAD been caught, then probably. As it is, you could have people out for revenge, or perhaps just a pile of counterpostrevolutionaries out there ready to stalk and kill off the third janitor in charge of sanitation at the nuclear power plant in Guskabum.

I'm eagerly awaiting the next story!

BW


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

That was so Great!!!

I have to agree with another commenter. If you ended it right here, I'd be happy. It would be nice to see, I dunno, maybe an epilogue.

Marvelous story with a lovely happy ending.

Thanks!

Sean_face_0_0.jpg

Abby

Battery.jpg

Wonderful!

Hugs to you, dear, for a wonderful story that has carried me rapturously-involved from beginning to end. Yes, most of the loose ends have been woven into the texture of the story and neatly tied off; still there are enough hanging down to secure the next 'book'(?) to when you get a chance to write more. (This really didn't seem like a series of books, it was a well-integrated seamless whole.)

Thank you!
Karen J.

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Thank You Penny

I've really enjoyed this series so far.

Two things

One, I sort of see Belle ending up working in the Justice Ministry for Marcus, or at least, for the First Minister, while she has children.

Two, there's a line that needs to be fixed.

"Things got ugly pretty quickly, I hadn't realised just how attached some of them had gotten attached to their charges."

That sentence should probably be amended to end 'I hadn't realised just how attached some of them had gotten to their charges." or similar.

BW


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Re: Editing Notes

Editing notes such as this are best sent privately to the author. For, after the correction is made, people will look at your comment and wonder what you're talking about, as the error will no longer be there.

Remarkable Creativity!

Actually, I think that you have done something quite remarkable with this story. You singlehandedly created a language dialect, a consistent feeling society, a new social order in terms of human rights, and made all the medical issues and solutions feel credible.

On top of that the story was interesting and I know that you must have put considerable energy into it.

Very nice.

Khadijah Gwen

Next book?

Oh, WOW! If I may quote Belle; "Yesyesyes!

Susie

One chapter ends, a new one begins...

I'm surprised it would take a few days for news to reach the media - I suppose what they mean is it will take a few days for the complete story to be released to the media through the proper channels.

After all, with an unconventional Guardian Meeting, several Ministers being charged and put into Custody and a Cabinet Reshuffle, if the media have any degree of freedom they'll be reporting that something pretty major has just happened, will be badgering those that lost their jobs but weren't arrested, and The State's Press Office is going to be inundated with calls until the Official Announcement is ready.

There'll certainly be plenty of potential lead stories and angles for the press to cover - especially the First Minister's "The State tries not to make mistakes...but it's only human and therefore not infallible!"

There's certainly a new direction for the story to follow in the next book - and even more characters will be living in the proverbial "interesting times".

Meanwhile, now this phase of the adventure is over, as you say in your blog post it's time to recharge your batteries and catch up with other stories (and real life!) while you figure out the next milestone in the characters' lives to aim towards...

...perhaps a certain event that may occur in about nine months' time? <grin>

 


EAFOAB Episode Summaries

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

That's assuming a free press.

The way the story is laid out, I am not assuming the society is democratic at all. It feels pretty much like a police state, with all sorts of social dogmas inserted. Though it does seem that they are trying very hard to get women's rights sorted.

I am thinking that the press is spoon fed. :)

K

Democratic? Er, no.

This was conceived almost exactly as a one-party state, although not with any specific ideology behind it like communism or fascism. There's a sort of nod to the French revolution as well, which is where I got the 'Citizen' form of address from, also the apparent equality of everyone (but we all know how that turns out in practice, don't we?).

It's not entirely a police state, although most of the locals might think so. I've assumed that the press are just as much a bunch of sensation-seeking pests as they are in our own countries. The main difference being, they know their rights chapter and verse, and are very careful not to do anything that would cause them to get arrested. I've also, like press in most countries, assumed that there are specific "freedoms" assigned legally to those who do press work.

Another problem I have had with the "police state" idea is the business of the gangs which inhabit the poorer parts of the city. Would this be possible in a true police state? I'm not sure the story will go there, but it's a problem point I'd like to get resolved.

Penny

Epilogue! Epilogue! Epilogue!

terrynaut's picture

I think the story is at a fairly good stopping point. I would like to see an epilogue though, at the very least. A second book would be even better.

I love how everything played out. I really liked Marion's timing for her official commitment to Belle.

As another reader pointed out, you did create a very believable and consistent setting for this wonderful story. Thanks very much.

- Terry

Just loved how Marion asked

Just loved how Marion asked Belle and how Belle accepted. That would have been fun to actually witness in person. I do hope that as you can, you present us with more "Fun with Marion and Belle" and the rest of the 'State Gang'. I can see Marion maybe winding up in a higher level position under the new Justice Secretary and training counselors for all the facilities run by the State. Marion, along with her faithful sidekick Tayla would go far in that capacity. Great story Penny, thanks ever so much. Jan :)

The Peters Principle

As with Sophia, I think Marion would be most happy remaining in a role that has at least some direct contact with those they are trying to help. While Marion may be good in a management / administrator role it would be a waste of his/her talents and ultimately I don't think Marion would be as happy.

Michelle B

Administrate! Administrate!

Marion doesn't do administration well and she knows it. Go back to part 27 and the Board meeting where she is concerned about how this new Section is to be run.

There's certainly going to be pressure on her in the future for all sorts of reasons, this will be just one source.

Penny

I agree with the author here

Marion is better off remaining at this particular facility. She basically setting up the Model for other female facilities. When they set up similar systems at the other female facilities they will probably have to initially send the Councillor staff for those facilities to learn and observe from Marion. An actual Administrator I imagine would actually have to be appointed to oversee the overall burocracy that will be involved.

Also, what Marion is doing at Female Containment Facility Number Five WILL NOT work as set up at the Female facilities at the Male facilities. A set-up that is taylored to the way men think will have to be thought up and tinkered with. The men's facilities would probably need a combination of individual mentoring and a "Boot Camp" feel. In fact, ideally, the best Councillors for either type facility would be former inmates who have actually shown to the Authorities that they have truely reformed themselves. Many State Prison systems here in the States actually do hire Ex-cons as Prison Councillors. They are able to move freely around the Prisions to visit the inmates, however, if an inmate is required to be moved to a different location they are escorted by a guard.

Excellent Story

I have just finished reading State and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I agree with a few of the commenters that this is a comfortable place to leave off and I can live with not knowing exactly how everything works out. There have been enough clues to get a general feel for the ultimate outcome of Marion and Belle's life together, at least in the broad strokes. While their story is not complete (they're still alive, after all!), a significant chapter in their lives has closed. Certainly, Marlon seems to have made out quite well given that mess he was in at the beginning. I wonder if we wasn't already a bit gender confused at the start and wasn't aware of it? Whatever, Marion is happy and that is wonderful.

I remember thinking while reading one of the earlier chapters that the world felt a "kinder, gentler 1984" but I realize that isn't right. It is clearly not exactly a police state though it is clearly a surveillance state of some kind, and it seems the lives of the people are generally pleasant. It could easily go wrong, of course, and that is the main plot of this story. There are elements that seem to be worrying, like the genetic watchdog, but I can think of very good reasons for such things to exist. Without knowing the exact nature of the upheaval that came before, it's not clear whether those reasons actually exist. (Overpopulation, controlling mutation due to industrial or other environmental contamination, etc.) I would enjoy the opportunity to explore the world in more detail should the ever fickle muse choose to share with the author....

Completed re-reading

I now have 5 3/4 pages of notes (8 x 11 legal pad) to convert into something that is actually legible similar to what I have done for S.E.E. and DRU. :)

Hm.. Let me know when you're

Hm.. Let me know when you're done. I know that there seems to be some time skips in there that don't fit - but would probably be easy enough for Penny to address if they are laid out. I'd like to know if someone else sees the same things.


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Hey!

I'm standing right here, you know.

I thought I was reasonably careful with the timescale on that story. I'd certainly like to know if you find anything.

Penny

Wow!

What a wonderful story! I did wonder about the origins of "Citizen"(now explained). I wonder if there will be a book 2? I guess S.E.E, is taking up a lot of your time

I enjoy your writing style very much

Joanna

STILL TO BUSY FOR BOOK2???

HI,
I just came accross of this faboulous story, read it through in just 3 days,
i hope you are not to busy to pick the story up sometime. You build this universe so well is really worth to keep this going.

shh12

Excellent tale

Even 5 years later, it makes excellent reading. I guess S.E.E. has taken it toll on a second story/series to this book(s). It would be great to see where the story might go from here, if the muse is willing..

Thanks for a wonderful tale which I have read several times.

Joanna

The State May or May Not Make Mistakes

Iolanthe Portmanteaux's picture

An excellent ending to a wonderful story! A series of unexpected explosive events, surprising and yet somehow not entirely unexpected. I half-thought Marion would end up with a post in government, but of course she can change the world from her current job.

I'm sure I'll come back to read this one again.

- io

A very nice story

Samantha Heart's picture

And one that can be followed up on:(I.e Bells formal commitment ceremony, Bell & Marion's children what will Marion do as in have the whole gender correction surgery to become fully female [as I expect she would] Talia) a hole host of things.

Love Samantha Renée Heart.

Sweet

What a sweet place for this to end. Thanks for the story.