Tamara's Début   Part Seven   by Shiraz

 
Saturday 22nd November, 3pm
 

They arrived at the Registry Office a customary five minutes late, according to the clock in the Rolls Royce. Cathy was helped out of the luxurious car by the chauffeur, the three bridesmaids exited shortly afterwards. As Tammy stood on the pavement she felt light headed and would have fallen if Andrea wasn't able to quickly hold her.

"Tammy, just hold onto me and you'll be fine, we all have nerves at weddings."

All Tammy could manage was a swift "thanks" but she wasn't convinced it was nerves. David was waiting for Cathy at the front of the ornate room, the girls took their seats in the front row. Tammy was more than pleased to sit down, partly as she wasn't feeling on top form, and partly as her heels were hurting her.

The ceremony itself was simple, John and Alison acted as witnesses. Photos were taken as the bride and groom signed the register and the flashes did nothing for Tammy's situation. The party moved outside where more photos were taken, once again Andrea helped Tammy stay upright, Tammy felt as if Andrea was fighting a losing battle.

The Rolls Royce took Cathy and Andrea away from the Registry Office, then John appeared with the minibus to collect the bridesmaids, Elsie, and more of Cathy's family. Tammy squeezed her dress onto the narrow seat and buckled up with difficulty. The journey was not as smooth as the ride down, not that Tammy had been told where the reception would be.

Fifteen minutes after extracting the minibus from the centre of Thurso, always fun on a Saturday afternoon, they drove back through the gates of the house where Tammy had spent several hours already. She did not look well when they exited and Alison took charge, taking Tammy straight up to her room. She unzipped the lovely dress then took Tammy into the bathroom. Tammy was promptly sick into the loo. Alison insisted she have a pee as well.

Alison cleaned Tammy up and helped her back to the bedroom. She found a nightdress in a drawer and helped Tammy out of her remaining clothes. When she got to Tammy's knickers, she took off the outer lacy pair but left the second pair on. She dressed Tammy in the nightdress and slipped her into the covers.

When Alison walked back downstairs, the reception was in full swing in the conservatory and a marquee at the back of the house. Andrea saw Alison and took her to one side.

"What's up with Tammy?"

"I'm pretty sure it's the Bucks Fizz on an empty stomach, plus the stress of the day. I'll have to confirm that with Sarah, Tammy's guardian."

Alison walked over the Sarah and prised her away from a very happy Elsie.

"Hi Sarah."

"Hi Alison, how's the job going, you're both at The London Hospital aren't you?"

"That's the one. Now, can I talk about Tammy?"

"Yes, is there something wrong?"

"She's been sick and is in bed right now, I don't think she had much to eat this morning?"

"Only some toast, we were running late. She had taken some lunch to the shop but Michael came for her a few hours earlier than I was originally told."

"That confirms my thoughts. She had two glasses of Bucks Fizz here earlier. She was complaining of being light headed, I just put it down to the day, I should have seen it earlier. Sarah, there is another problem."

"Oh?"

"I undressed Tammy before putting, em, her, in bed. She's very lovely but she's a he isn't she?"

"Yes."

"So what's the story, I mean when I saw her as a lovely girl this morning nothing tipped me off. When I was upstairs just now I helped her to the toilet, I don't even have to be a nurse to work that one out. So, what gives?"

"The short version is that she's been helping me at the shop for months, she's really a boy at St Andrews but is now living full-time as Tammy. She's seeing Jill at the hospital, but she's already changed her name. She's also due to play Anita in West Side Story at the Mill."

"Right, that helps. If you'd like I'll have a word with her when she wakes up. It's only four thirty so we might be able to get her down for some food later after she's slept this off."

Jill saw the pair and wandered over, "When shall we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, or in rain?" She muttered.

"Hey, we're not witches and don't go quoting Shakespeare, and definitely not The Scottish Play, some of us are superstitious." Sarah laughed after telling Jill off.

"So is this a private discussion or can anyone join in?"

"It's about Tammy."

"Where is she? I haven't seen her since the Registry Office?"

"She's upstairs sleeping off a small alcohol problem that wasn't her fault, Alison helped her into bed."

"Oh."

"Jill, her secret is safe with me, you know that I work with transgendered patients, don't you?"

"I didn't but I guess you would in London, TG patients are almost as rare as hens teeth up here."

"As I said, I wouldn't worry. I'll help Tammy get down here when she's had an hour or so. The alcohol should be out of her system completely by then."

The three of them agreed the official line was that Tammy had felt faint and was resting before joining the party later. The only one who showed more than just concern for Tammy was John, who complained bitterly that his dance partner for the evening was missing. The three, apparently unplanned, individually had a quiet word with John and persuaded him that Tammy would appear later.

Alison and Andrea changed out of their dresses and into something simpler for the party, although the new frocks were simpler only in that they finished above the knee and started only just above the bustline. There had been a conspiracy, by Elsie again, so that each of the bridesmaids had the same dress for the party, Tammy's was hanging in her room, she just hadn't see it yet. Sarah had just managed to take the black set of Tammy's new lingerie up to the house when Elsie rang with the plan late that morning.

It was about five thirty when the food was declared open season. Alison went into the Rose Room and gently shook Tammy.

"Tammy, wake up or you'll miss the party."

"Ummmm."

"Come on, let's get you to the bathroom. You need a shower."

"Had two already."

"Yes, but you've been sick and that won't do. Let's get you to the loo first."

Alison had persuaded Tammy as far as the toilet when Tammy objected.

"Tammy, firstly I'm a nurse and secondly I know your secret, but it remains a secret. I promise. I've spoken to Sarah and Jill, I believe they are the only ones here who knew. Now, get on that loo and then into the shower. I'll wait in the bedroom while you're washing."

"Umm, do you promise?"

"Yes, now get moving! I'm missing a party!"

Tammy did indeed move and returned to the bedroom a few mins later smelling a little sweeter. Alison had her clothes ready but grabbed a hairdryer first.

"You've got lovely hair. Is it all yours?"

"I've got some extensions, but apart from that - yes."

"Right get dressed, you'll need a strapless bra again so I've taken the extra straps off your black one. I'm not moving out of here until you're ready, so don't even think about climbing back into bed."

"Yes mum."

"Hmmm, I'm not old enough to be your mum, not by a long way. Now MOVE!"

Fifteen minutes later a dressed and made-up Tammy made her entrance, she could hear light music coming from the rear of the house. Alison made certain Tammy was given some iced water, which she sipped slowly. Although there was no direct suggestion that she should try any food, it was accepted that Tammy could graze later when she was ready. The bride approached, having herself changed out of her wedding dress.

"Hi Tammy, are you feeling better?"

"Hi Cathy, yes thanks. I'm sorry for ruining your day?"

"Nonsense, no-one saw you faint and Alison handled it like any nurse would, you did know both the girls were nurses, didn't you?"

"I didn't but I do now, Alison told me."

"Anyway, you're here now. Circulate, there are plenty of people waiting to meet you."

"Thanks."

Tammy headed for Sarah, who now had Elsie for company again.

"Tammy dear, you do look lovely. Are you recovered?"

"Yes, thank you Elsie. I think the day just got to me."

"I'm not surprised, just take it easy and don't be afraid to take yourself upstairs if you're tired."

"I'll do that, thanks Elsie."

Tammy walked over to the drinks table and refilled her glass of spring water. She headed to a quiet seating area, well away from the band where she sat in silence for a few minutes, just to make certain that she was in full control of her body. Suddenly she felt the urge to go to the toilet, but didn't know anywhere on the ground floor. Once again she went up the stairs, this time moving as fast as she could in heels and her tight frock. She made it into her room's en-suit bathroom but didn't have time to shut the bedroom door as she passed through.

Tammy came out of the bathroom glad that she'd made it in time but upset that this was happening on this day, of all days. She sat on the bed and cried, that's where Jill found her a few minutes later. Jill closed the bedroom door as she walked in.

"Tammy, talk to me."

Tammy continued sobbing but allowed Jill to reach over and give her a hug. She slowly regained her composure, but her make-up was ruined, Tammy's hand was streaked with mascara where she'd rubbed her eyes. Jill pulled out a tissue from somewhere and dabbed Tammy's eyes gently.

"I'm a failure."

"No you're not."

"I am. I am."

"Now, forget that stupid idea. You're a typical teenager who's experiencing her first bridesmaid duty. You made the fatal error of alcohol before lunch, I bet you'll promise not do that again but most of us have repeat offences to our name. So you're not a failure, you're Tammy, you're human."

"But I'm letting Cathy and David down."

"Don't worry about them, they would rather have you in bed than trying to force yourself downstairs. You didn't make a fool of yourself at the Registry office, which is where it mattered. I'm told you were a little faint there, but no-one apart from Andrea noticed. Don't worry."

"Yes, but Alison ..."

"Alison and Andrea are nurses in London, that's why they couldn't be certain about being here. Their hospital is handling a load of winter flu cases and is busier than normal. They have seen just about everything they could possibly see during their careers, plus they are bound by a code of ethics, just like me."

"I see."

"Look, you've got nothing to fear. I'm seeing you on Thursday, aren't I?"

"I think so."

"Let's fix your make-up and get back to the party."

The rest of the evening passed without further incident, although John did attempt to pull Tammy onto the dance floor. He was turned away with vague suggestions about female issues, he felt it wise not to argue the point. Sometime after nine Tammy felt well enough to have a few bits off the cold buffet but this was more from need rather than desire.

The party wound up just after half past ten and most of the guests left, with Michael running the minibus into town ferrying a few dozen guests in the process. A stream of taxis outside the house dealt with many of the rest. Tammy looked for Sarah but couldn't see her.

"She went with Michael on the first bus run," explained Andrea. "Don't worry, we'll get you back in the morning. Now are you tired?"

"No, but I should be. Why?"

"Let's get up to our rooms and get changed, then come into my room, I'd like to talk to you. Alison will be there."

"I think I can guess what this is about, perhaps I should just call a taxi?"

"Tammy, you've got nothing to fear, it's just us three bridesmaids, right?"

They went upstairs to their rooms, Tammy removed her face for the fifth or sixth time of the day and looked at her bed as she re-entered the room. The bed linen had been changed and a new black lacy nightie was laying on the bed, a gown next to it. There was a matching pair of knickers, which Tammy picked up first. As a precaution she put them back down then picked up a plain black mini brief, into which she inserted a panty liner, followed by the fancy knickers.

Tammy tied the gown around her and walked along to Andrea's room and knocked. The door was opened and Tammy joined the other two girls. Each of them was wearing the same nightwear, Tammy looked between the other two girls, now sat on Andrea's bed and smiled.

"Tammy, this is another of Elsie's little jokes. You best get used to them, she's been doing this to us since we were kids, she's our aunt. Cathy is our cousin, but she has no sisters."

"Alison, I get the feeling I've been stitched up, right from when Elsie first asked me to be a bridesmaid, I mean was there ever any doubt that you two would be here?"

Alison shook her head, "Tammy, we honestly didn't know for sure. With the winter flu situation, we could have been told to work the weekend even though we'd booked it off months ago. I hope you don't mind, I told Andrea of your secret, although she'd guessed anyway. Years of training tells me that much, even if you don't have any visible male traits, and that is disconcerting."

Andrea took over, "Tammy, we're not passing judgement and you have carried this off wonderfully, that nightie really suits you, as did the dresses, you just don't have all the right curves yet. How far did you want to take this? You don't have to answer."

Tammy sat down in a chair and hung her head for a few seconds before looking at the girls again.

"I don't know. I don't know. It feels right but I'm frighted it's wrong."

Tammy kept quiet for half a minute before continuing, the girls said nothing.

"I've wondered for years what it would be like to be a girl, I have no sister or female cousins so I have no-one to copy. Then my mother insisted she couldn't look after me while dad was out of the country so I ended up here in a private school."

The Alison and Andrea looked at each other, silently they decided Andrea would ask the next question. She spoke softly, "Tammy, are you at St Andrews?" Tammy nodded, looking ashamed.

"Do you want to go back there?"

"I don't know. It would be difficult. My dad is working on it."

"How much longer do you have?"

"I take my A levels in May next year."

"Shouldn't you be taking Highers as you're at a Scottish school?"

"I'm English so dad thought it would be better to take A levels, my school offers both."

"Your accent is very Scottish, but not quite a Highlands accent. It's difficult to place."

"I've been up here for ten years, I just picked it up. I don't use it at the school, some of the masters might think
I'm taking the piss."

"I can understand that."

Alison took over, "Are you seeing Jill?"

"Yes."

"She's good, don't worry about her. Jill will look after you, Tammy. We've got all of tomorrow to talk, Andrea and me aren't heading south for a few more days but I think you're ready for sleep."

Tammy started to cry. "What's wrong Tammy?"

"You've been so kind, I mean everyone has, but I'm still frightened."

"We'll sort things out tomorrow, somehow. Off you go."

Alison and Tammy went to their own rooms, Andrea waited for a few minutes then listened at Tammy's door. She heard Tammy sobbing gently and pushed the door open.

"Tammy, are you alright?"

Tammy shook her head.

"Would you like some company?"

"Yes."

Andrea went round the king size bed and slipped in next to Tammy. She wrapped her arm around the younger girl, they both fell asleep within a minute.

 
Sunday 23rd November
 

On Sunday morning, just after seven, Alison found the pair asleep. She walked up to the bed and spoke quietly into Andrea's ear, "come on sleepy head, I hope you've been a good girl."

Andrea and Tammy stirred and looked at Alison, now sat on the bed in her gown. Alison continued, "if I'd known this was a group session I'd have joined you."

"Alison, if I'd known you were interested ..." The three girls giggled loudly.

"Come on you two, get showered, breakfast is at eight, Cathy and David are going at nine. We've got to see them off."

The three girls all headed for their respective bathrooms and freshened up. When each girl returned to the bedroom there was another, matching, dress waiting. Tammy found new lingerie on her bed and dressed, slipping her breast forms into the bra. Today's dress was cream with a rose motif, Tammy was just zipping herself up when the other two girls came back into the room. They waited while Tammy put a little lippy on.

"Tammy, do you have to shave?"

"Only once a month or so, why?"

"I can't see any beard at all and you don't use concealer or foundation, do you?"

"No."

"Did you ever think it strange that you have a natural soft complexion?"

"Not really, although I did used to get teased a little, I just thought it sort itself out when I got older."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, I'd say you're a very lucky girl. Now, get downstairs, it's just gone eight."

The girls walked into the breakfast room, Tammy was beginning to wonder just how many rooms this house had. Elsie, Cathy, David and Michael were already there, Thomas was carrying team and coffee in from the kitchen.

They sat down and Thomas poured them a coffee. Conversation was very light as the others were already tucking into their porridge. Tammy wasn't particularly hungry but made best efforts at some scrambled egg and bacon, followed by two slices of toast. She sensed that Elsie was about to ask a question but Thomas the butler arrived in the room.

"Excuse me Miss Smart, there is a call for you in the Study. If you wish I shall bring some coffee through."

"Thank you." Tammy dabbed her lips with a napkin and followed Thomas to the study. She sat at the desk and picked up the handset.

"Hello?"

"Good morning Tammy."

"Dad! How did you find me?"

"Sarah told me you were with the McPhersons, I've known the family for years so had their number. By the way, that's the reason I chose St Andrews; it was a personal recommendation, Elsie is the current Head's sister."

"Oh. I did wonder why I ended up all the way up here."

"Yes, now Sarah told me you've had an eventful weekend, but I need to speak about something else. Your mother has decided to divorce me. It wasn't a surprise for me, and I don't think it was for you either?"

"I didn't know until just now."

"Sorry, I thought you'd already been told, Sarah said she received a letter from your mother a few days ago."

"Sarah said nothing to me."

“I'll speak to her again. Now, I'm flying from Heathrow at lunchtime and I'll be at Wick Airport a few hours later, Elsie will sort out some transport for me. Stay where you are and I'll see you before dinner this evening. Got to go, love you."

"Love you too, Dad, bye."

Tammy sat there for a minute then there was a knock at the door. Thomas entered with a tray.

"I'm just leaving, Thomas."

"If you'd care to follow me to the sitting room I'll set you coffee there."

"Thank you."

Tammy walked into the sitting room and sat. Cathy walked over and held Tammy's hand.

"Tammy, your father spoke to us earlier whilst you were still upstairs, we're sorry to hear the news. it's a shame I'll not see him, it's been a few years."

Elsie spoke next, "Tammy, you can stay here for as long as you need, your father as well, he's a very good friend we don't see very often. I recommended your school to him, by the way." Elsie winked at Tammy, that's one more person who knows Tammy's secret.

Tammy decided to change the subject, "Cathy, where are you and David going for your honeymoon?"

"To the Bahamas first then onto Australia."

"I hope you'll enjoy yourselves."

"If last night's anything to go by, yes we will!"

There was a noise from the lawn behind the house, where the marquee had been last night. A helicopter landed about 100yds from the house.

"Our transport has arrived! We have a flight from Glasgow at lunchtime, this is the quickest way."

"I'd say."

"I hope that's not envy Miss Smart, I understand that you're worth half a mil yourself." Elsie was smiling as she said it.

"Half a mil? I don't know, I haven't checked my piggy bank recently."

That earned a laugh, Alison and Andrea looked dumbfounded. Outside on the lawn, cases were being loaded onto the chopper. Everyone filed out onto the lawn, somehow Cathy had gained a small bouquet which she carried to the steps of the helicopter. The three bridesmaids lined up, and stood, smiling, as Cathy and David boarded.

As Cathy reach the top of the steps she threw the bouquet, Tammy caught it. Andrea and Alison clapped their hands, then pulled Tammy clear of the helicopter as it got ready to depart. Back at the house they waved as the chopper lifted, then swung to the south. The three girls, Elsie and Michael walked back indoors. Back inside the house, Alison and Andrea pulled Tammy into the sitting room; Tammy was still clutching the bouquet, unsure what to do next.