Tamara's Début   Part Four   by Shiraz

 
Wednesday 19th November Continued
 
Tammy pushed the shop door open and found Sarah looking stunned, thankfully the shop was otherwise deserted although Tammy got the feeling that it hadn't been a busy late morning for Sarah. As Tammy approached she could see tears in Sarah's eyes, Sarah dropped a letter on the counter and wrapped her arms around Tammy.

"I don't know what you did, but thank you. You've allowed me to think beyond the next few days."

"What's in the letter?"

"They've given me eight weeks and stopped my interest payments. They've also said that if I reduce my overdraft by £2000 then they'll reconsider."

"That's great. How did it arrive?"

"It turned up just before you got back, delivered by the same man at the bank who had hauled me into his office. He wasn't happy when he came in so just handed me the envelope and went out, without saying a word."

"All we need to do now is get you the trade you need."

"Yes, but I've been trying to do that for a while and it's never as easy as it sounds. Last Saturday has been by far my busiest day for several months, but I need to get business from those customers who only browse during the week and don't spend."

"If I have helped with the Saturdays then maybe I can help with that as well."

"Yes." Sarah dried her eyes then looked straight at Tammy. "Can you tell me what you did, or is that a secret?"

"I simply spoke directly to the manager and explained that I'm an employee of the bank, he worked out for himself that my dad is a director."

"You're what?"

"I have done work experience at the bank, with Dad. He made me a full member of staff, but I only get paid when I'm working, the rest of the time I'm being sponsored by the bank, that covers my school fees and will include my future university fees."

"You never mentioned any of this."

"I haven't ever needed to use this before, but rank has it's privileges, as they say."

"I'd say, although I've never really approved of that system. Never mind, in this case it's in my favour."

"You're welcome. I did it because you're more than a friend."

"So, did you go there just for me?"

"No. Dad has organised a new debit card for me and I'm now also officially known as Tamara Smart, I have a solicitor's letter that makes it legal."

"Is that everything?"

"Yes, look, you close in quarter of an hour, how about I try on that dress?"

Sarah sent Tammy into one of the changing rooms to strip off down to her underwear, the dress was hanging there ready. She climbed into the dress and tried to pull it up, but couldn't find the fastener.

"Sarah, can you help me?"

Sarah, now with repaired make-up, found a hidden zip up one side and engaged the hook at the top of the zipper after pulling the dress right up. Tammy's white bra straps were very obvious.

"Tammy, the colour's good on you but that bra spoils the effect!"

"I know. As I said I've ordered some lingerie sets on Ebay. The sets were in white, red and black, it said on the website that each of the bras was multiway. Will the red set be alright?"

"Yes, that'll be fine, but if they don't turn up by tomorrow afternoon we'll have to look in town, I haven't the time to take you anywhere."

"If necessary I'll take the bus to Wick and look there."

"Okay, now get changed back."

Ten minutes later Tammy and Sarah were sat eating their lunch when there was a knock on the now-locked shop door. Sarah saw Jill stood there and let her in.

"Hello, I think I owe you an apology, Tammy, I didn't take your email address, did I?"

"No, and I haven't had a chance to phone you, as I don't have your number."

The two of them had a giggle then exchanged details, Jill handed Tammy a business card. Tammy looked at Jill's job title.

"Oh."

"Didn't you know?"

"No."

"That's fine, you know now. Like I said on Monday, everyone in town knows my name and my clinic."

"Yes, but I still wasn't expecting that you'd be a shrink!"

"No, I'm not a shrink, a consultant psychologist with a sideline in psychiatry."

"As I said, a shrink."

"Have it your way, I actually came here to give you a copy of the script so you could have a read through before tonight, not to discuss my doctorates."

"Yes, I'm sorry. It's been an interesting couple of days."

"I'd ask you to talk about it but I'm due back at the hospital and we have an appointment for tomorrow in any case. Bye for now Tammy, bye Sarah."

Sarah had finished her cheese roll, Tammy now did the same as Sarah locked the shop door behind Jill.

"Tammy, I forgot. Your father phoned."

"What did he say?"

"He asked how you were coping but he also said to me, very directly, that I must stop referring to you as my niece and that anyone who asks must be told you are 18. Also, you are to be known as Tamara Smart, not Bonney. Now, how are we going to deal with that?"

"We are going to say that you've always been like an aunt to me, even though we're not related. That will explain the niece element, of course some people may have assumed my surname was Bonney but you didn't like to correct anyone, particularly as it apparently wasn't doing any harm. Most of them will forget that it was you who told them it was Bonney.

"So far as me being sixteen, again that was because some might not believe I was older than that, of course now that I'm old enough to buy & drink alcohol or watch 18 rated movies it would be a problem for me, height or otherwise. You could add, if anyone argues, that you can be a little eccentric, particularly after your husband left."

"I reckon a few do believe I'm eccentric, only they don't say it to my face. Your father said you'd work out a solution. He thinks alot of you."

"I know, I just don't hear it as often as I would like from him. My mother is a completely different story."

"Let's get back home and relax, you have to be back at the theatre in a few hours."

They left shortly after and made it back home without incident. Tammy settled, curled on her bed, holding her script.

She was surprisingly aware of the storyline, despite reckoning that she'd never seen it before. Maybe it was one of those times where you switch on the TV ten minutes after a programme has started, but never look up the name of the show in the guides.

At five there was a shout, reminding Tammy that she had to be at the theatre at half six, they therefore had to eat soon. Fortunately, whilst Tammy had been upstairs, Sarah had made an old fashioned stew, just right for beating the cold air. Tammy wasn't sure if she should would be able to do any dancing at the rehearsal, after finishing her plate.

Sarah dropped Tammy off at the theatre and into the custody of the musical director, Sandy Franklin.

"Nice to see you again Tamara."

"Actually I prefer Tammy,"

"Oh, let's get a song done. I want to hear you again. Have you tried any of the songs since Saturday?"

They spent 30 minutes trying the songs until Tammy and the piano agreed about the tune.

The director then needed Tammy to meet the rest of the cast. Tammy was a little surprised to see John Hibbert there. Otherwise the actors were all locals whom Tammy barely knew. They sat on the stage in a ring and did a walk through the script. It was obvious that some would struggle to make it to opening night but the director, Iain Brown, was kind enough to let the many errors pass by. How long that attitude would hold was another story.

"Everyone, that's enough for tonight but please make sure you take a copy of your script with you, and practice! We meet again here on Friday at the same time. Tammy, could you hang around please?"

The rest of the cast, including John Hibbert, filtered out of the theatre and Tammy was left alone with the director.

"Mr Brown, I need to get home. I've sent Sarah a text to collect me."

"I won't keep you long Tammy, and please call me Iain. It's just that as you're sixteen I need permission from your parent or guardian."

"Iain, I'm eighteen. Sarah can be a little eccentric at times and likes to think of me as a sweet sixteen year old."

"I hope you're not telling me this just to avoid the parental permission."

"Not at all, can you wait a minute?" Tammy retrieved her bag and coat from a hook and returned to the director.

"Here's my work identity card with my name and date of birth under the photo. Is that sufficient?"

"Yes, but I thought you were still at school?"

"I'm just finishing my A levels but the bank sponsors me."

He took a closer look at the card, "it says you are an assistant to the international director."

"Yes, my father, he's in Geneva right now which is why I'm staying with Sarah."

"I hope he comes to the opening night."

"So do I."

Tammy saw Sarah enter the theatre and wave, Tammy said goodbye to Iain and hurried out into the cold. She was very pleased to be back indoors some ten minutes later, the time was now almost nine o'clock. Tammy went for a shower, trying not to get her hair wet then got ready for bed. Her hair, despite best efforts, was a little damp but Tammy did not want to blow dry it because of the noise.

She walked downstairs to make a hot chocolate and took it up to her room, switching on her laptop then propping herself up. There was one from her father asking how her day was. She typed a short reply.

"Hi dad. Picked up the new cards at lunchtime, thanks very much. Think I could have taken a better photo but you didn't give me much time to get it perfected!
 
Hopefully the document will be back with you tomorrow, but what do we tell mum? On other matters the bank had called in Sarah's overdraft, she thinks it was you who set them off. They gave her a week, I've persuaded them to give 8 weeks and suggested they reconsider. The assistant manager is not happy, the manager is a bit better. What's this about me owning the business?
 
Was at the theatre tonight for a walk through. Back there on Friday evening. Have you spoken to the school? Going to a wedding on Saturday.
 
Lots of love, Tammy."

No point in saying she's a bridesmaid, yet.

No other emails of note, and definitely nothing further from mum.

Tammy took her empty mug back to the kitchen before sliding into bed.
 
 
Thursday 20th November
 
Her alarm went off at seven the following morning, Tammy was a little surprised as she hadn't brought an alarm with her. She shut it off and was stretching when Sarah appeared.

"The alarm worked then?"

"Oh, I did wonder."

"Get yourself washed and downstairs, we'll have a decent breakfast this morning. There's snow forecast for later."

They finished off some porridge, bacon and eggs before heading into town. This time Sarah remembered to use the route that took them onto the A9 briefly before their turning onto Olrig Street.

Once again, while Sarah unlocked the shop, Tammy went for the usual mid morning cakes. Once back at the shop they sat for a coffee before any customers arrived.

"Tammy, have you forgotten your appointment this morning?"

"Err, appointment?"

"Yes, with Dr Davison."

"Jill?"

"Yes, silly."

"No, it's at ten at the hospital."

"Hmm, don't you have a diary?"

"It's at the school."

"Well, nip along to the stationers when they open and find a nice diary. Don't forget you need twenty minutes to get to the hospital."

"I'll allow 30 minutes, in the past ten years I've not needed to go to the hospital once and won't know where to go in the building."

"Just look like a lost young lady and they'll be clamouring to help you."

"Thanks."

"Seriously, you will have to watch out for any unwanted attention while you're there. Girls have it harder than boys, believe me, that's why I want you to let me know where you are."

"I'll accept that, it's just I've never had to think about it before."

"No, as a boy you wouldn't have."

Tammmy finished her coffee as Sarah unlocked the shop door at nine. Unusually there were several customers within the first few minutes and Tammy was fully engaged with taking their money, several of the ladies already seemed to know that she was going to be a bridesmaid. Tammy didn't want to be drawn into conversation so she was polite but explained she had someone else waiting to be served or work to do, it seemed to work.

At 9.30am Sarah reminded Tammy about the appointment, causing her to grab her jacket and sped out the door. Sarah explained to a few enquiring customers that Tammy had an unspecified meeting but would be back after lunch.

Tammy, of course, had forgotten about her purchase of a new diary in the rush to get out. The walk to the hospital only took fifteen minutes, plus another five to find the small waiting area for Jill's clinic. Of course, she was recorded as Tamara Bonney, as Jill knew no different yet. Tammy sat not knowing what lay ahead and was shocked back into full attention when Jill approached.

"Good morning Tammy, please come with me."

Jill led her to a small room with some soft furnishings and a coffee table., a coffee filter machine was gurgling in one corner. Otherwise, Tammy noted that the blinds were drawn but the interior lighting was soft; plainly aiming for a relaxed but private environment. Jill pointed at a seat while she went to get the coffee, she poured a cup each without asking Tammy how she took it.

"Tammy, I hope that's the way you like your coffee. Forgive me, I should have asked first."

"It's fine Jill, thank you."

"Tammy, how about you bring me up to speed?"

Tammy explained the conversations with her father and the meeting at the bank. She omitted the business arrangements concerning Sarah, however.

"Did you bring the solicitor's letter with you?"

Tammy nodded and pulled a copy out of her bag.

"Can I keep this one?" Another nod. "Oh, thank you. I see it's a simple statutory declaration but without revoking your original name. Very neat. You said you've already got documents in this name."

"Yes, this is my bank identity card and this is my new debit card."

"Thank you, now how is the play going?"

"It's pretty good. We did a walk through after I practised the songs again."

"Iain said you corrected your name and showed the identity card."

"Yes, I didn't think the solicitor's letter was a good idea."

"I'd agree. Too much information would be dangerous to control right now. You haven't however kept a low profile, have you?"

"No, except for Tuesday morning, but I had to get things done. I've sorted out the policeman, he'll likely not bother me again. I've also agreed with Sarah that she'll make sure I'm referred to as Tammy Smart, age 18, not Tammy Bonney age 16."

That seemed to be a natural break in proceedings so both sipped at their drinks. Jill continued her questioning, "you seem to have most things in hand, how do you feel?"

"I'm fine, I guess. Your question is a bit vague though."

"So perhaps I meant to ask how are you as Tammy and not Tom?"

"It's almost like I should have been Tammy all along."

"But you've only been Tammy full time since Sunday morning, and part time before that."

"So much has happened since Saturday morning when I was offered a part in your play, but I'm not just here for the ride now. I'm think I'm in control, mostly."

"That's an interesting way of putting it. Which parts are outside your control?"

Tammy paused whilst she considered her response.

"Being invited to a wedding, as a bridesmaid. I mean I'm looking forward to it, but I'm scared. It's not my choice but I wouldn't miss it for anything."

"Tammy, every girl wants to be a bridesmaid but is scared stiff. How was the dress?"

"It was lovely, but I'm not sure how there was one in my size ready so soon?"

"Tammy, I don't know the answer to that one. Now, all I see in front of me is a confident young lady, not a shy schoolboy."

"What do you know about Tom?"

"Not much but I have accessed your NHS records and there's nothing there beyond a few prescriptions for antibiotics."

"Have you spoken to the school?"

"I can't unless you give your permission. Similarly, now you're eighteen, I can't speak to your parents without your permission."

"Would you need to do that?"

"Not yet, but eventually you may have no choice."

"I guessed that would be the case, but dad won't be a problem."

"So he's accepted Tammy."

"Yes. He'll have more questions for me, no doubt."

"No doubt indeed, what about your mother?"

"She'll find this difficult to cope with, she's the same with any changes that affect her or the family, except the ones she initiates."

"I believe you're talking about Tammy staying beyond the play?"

"I suppose I am."

"Why do you believe that after such a short time?"

"Because I've spent maybe the last ten years believing that I was Tammy not Tommy."

Both reached for their coffees to find their drinks were now cool. Jill went to a small sink and rinsed the mugs, returning to the filter machine to refill them. Once sat, Jill continued.

"So what about the risks?"

"The risk of being discovered or the risk of having to revert to being Tom?"

"The first, but I'm interested in what you think about the second."

"Dad said he would speak to the school, so they will know anyway. PC St James knows but is under professional restrictions, similarly that bank manager is risking his job and pension if he says anything. Otherwise just you and Sarah."

"How long does the list have to get before you are forced to out yourself?"

"I don't know. I'll just have to deal with it I suppose."

"Have you considered that your medical records need to be updated, that other records will have no trace of Tamara Smart?"

"Not yet, but as you said, I've only been at this full time since Sunday morning."

"So, does this end when your school reopens, or when the play ends, or when you go home for Christmas, or never?"

"I wish I knew. I know I want the last choice but one of the others is more likely."

"What if you could go back to the school as a girl?"

"Two problems, first it's an all boys school, secondly I couldn't board there any more, it wouldn't be safe."

"What if you were a day student and lived in town?"

"That might work, but there would still be ridicule."

"I'm sure the head could cope and deal with that, especially if the school's reputation is at stake. So far as it being an all boys school, there's always a first for everything."

"If ..." Tammy started guessing how things might turn out, but couldn't put it into words.

"Tammy, we're out of time. Can you come back next Thursday, same time?"

"Sure."

They shook and Tammy made her way across the waiting area, heading for the exit.

"Miss Bonney?"

Tammy realised she was being called and spun round, to see a member of staff heading towards her,

"Could you come to the office please, we have a query."

Tammy followed the young man to the office and sat as he accessed the patient database.

"I understand that Dr Davison herself made this appointment but when we attempted to update your records we found that there was no trace of your name."

"Dr Davison said there might be a query, I just wasn't expecting it so soon."

Tammy reached into her bag and pulled out another copy of her solicitor's letter. "This explains who I am."

"I see."

He again searched the database and located Tom's sparse records. It also showed that Jill had recently updated the records.

"Right, I've found you. Are you changing your name permanently?"

"Yes, as far as I know."

"I'll make a notation on your record that you're to be referred to as Miss Tamara Smart but the actual record remains as Tom Smart for now, hopefully you won't be accidentally embarrassed."

"Thank you."

"If you decide to make the change permanent, you'll need a letter from Dr Davison, possibly something else, I'm afraid that's outside of my direct experience."

"Right. Is my next appointment on there?"

"Yes. Next Thursday, 27th November, at 10am."

Tammy thanked him again and headed out into the cold air, a marked difference from the warmth of the hospital. She walked along the road, passing the railway station. Her main thought at this time was that things were moving too quickly and, despite what she'd said to Jill, she was not in control.

How Tammy didn't get hit by traffic when crossing the many roads was a minor miracle, she was still on auto-pilot when she pushed she shop door open. It was nearly midday and her caffeine level had dropped to critical.

"Tammy, are you alright, you look spaced out? Get back here, I'll put the kettle on. You should have put a scarf and gloves on this morning."

"Sarah, please don't mother me. I'm fine, I just need a coffee."

"I'm making one right away but I get the feeling that something else is bothering you."

Tammy sat there for a few more minutes, nursing her mug of hot coffee, before she felt warm enough to take off her jacket. While she drank the coffee, Sarah closed the shop for lunch and joined Tammy in the back.

"So what's the problem?"

"Jill gave me alot to think about, plus I had to explain myself to one of the staff in out-patients. This is happening too fast, Sarah, too fast."

Tammy started to cry, Sarah leant over to comfort her but said nothing. After a few minutes Tammy wiped her eyes with a tissue and got up to go annd check her face. She realised at that point she was also desparate for the loo. She returned to the chair, looking a little fresher and without crossed legs.

"I'm sorry for being so silly."

"Nonsense Tammy, girls cry when they need to. You're no different."

"One day I might understand this."

"One day perhaps, but no-one understands everything, do they? Now, more importantly, why don't you have any gloves or a scarf?"

"I ordered some on Ebay on Tuesday, they haven't arrived yet. My school gloves would give me away."

"You need to get a gloves and hat set in town, go now to buy a set then take the bus home. The parcel vans never get here before lunchtime but it's now well gone one. I'll see you at five thirty."

Tammy did as asked, arriving indoors at two, picking up the day's post as she did. Tammy hadn't even managed to take off her new gloves when the doorbell rang. A courier stood there with three packages. She signed for them then carried them into the kitchen

Although tempted to open the parcels immediately she first identified a letter on the top of the pile of post addressed to Tom, tearing it open she saw it was from her mother.

Dear Tom,
 
I've tried to email you but my laptop has something wrong and I will have to wait until your father can fix it, I don't trust anyone at the hotel to sort it out. I hope you're well. Your father tells me he's in contact with you almost daily so you have someone you can talk to, of course you can always ring me if you want to.
 
He said you were trying to get into character for this play, and you had to learn some songs. I remember you singing a few years ago at a school concert so I hope your voice is still good enough.
 
Lots of love,
 
Your mother

Tammy noted that her dad hadn't told the whole truth to her mother, but he hadn't lied either. Tammy decided to leave the letter for now, and reply when she was able to. Tammy next started opening the various parcels, everything she'd ordered, except the hat and gloves, was there. She left the new lingerie and the other clothing on her bed then went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

Sarah returned exactly on time. They were both hungry so sat to eat before any other business could interfere. As it was, the day ended peacefully, neither of them had any energy left and any remaining issues could wait until the next day.