When the wife of your wife's new boss thinks you are a lesbian...

I wrote this about eight years ago. It was meant to be a first chapter of a novel, but just after writing, we got the news my father was dying from leukaemia and I had other things on my mind than writing. So their it stayed all by itself in the computer. Thought I would let it see the light of day.

Sissy Johnson stopped outside the Drummonds house. The Company had purchased the house for them as it was next to the home of the Company’s VP of building services, Frank Strieber. Who lived there with his English wife Kate. For some reason someone in HR had decided it would be good for the couple to be next to them, and as the house was for sale, they bought it and added it to the Drummond package. Drummond was a hot property and Sissy knew the bank was lucky to get her. But there was two reasons why she was unhappy about the house purchase.

One, she didn’t trust Frank Strieber for not marring a good America girl in the first place, and the second was Kate. With English girls like her marrying good America boys when the bank sent them over to do their turn at the London branch, they were returning with their minds polluted with ideas like the English National Health Service, where folk got see their doctors and stay and get treated in the UK hospitals for free - Free for heaven's sake. Something so totally commie and un-American. She couldn’t understand why the President was still friends with the English. Sissy was sure the English were planning to take-over America in some way. She just hadn’t figured out how yet, but she would. Thank-god for the Tea Party.

Lucky the Strieber’s were away on holiday till today, so she could get in quick to warn the Drummonds before Kate could contaminate them.

She looked at the house and paused by the cars, she wasn’t sure how to handle them. He was a house-husband. The company had hired the wife, Sindy, as the new VP of finance. And Sissy kept the wives in check and away from trouble with get-together's three times a week at the tennis club, the country club and a coffee morning at one of the wives homes. So how the hell did she add a man to the mix. She can’t let him go loose, or the other wives might get ideas of going native too. So he had to be put in his place and made one of them somehow, in fact maybe that was how she should think of him, he was just a wife with trousers on. She didn’t allow the wives to wear pants or flat shoes. That was how good husbands strayed. So she made sure they knew it would not be good for their husbands careers if they did. She giggled, that was it, she had to get him into a dress and heels, make him one of the wives!

The cars in the drive were an ever so low old Italian Lamborghini, and an older E Class Mercedes estate. No American cars, a black mark before they had even met her. She wasn’t a car fan, but she knew what they cost. It was her way of deciding peoples worth. What the value of their cars were. She past them and made for the front door which wasn’t quite closed. From inside she could hear a woman’s voice.

“Tony, what about these earrings, you got them on the cruise last year?”

Sissy pushed the door open and called out.

“Hi their!” Her mouth dropped as the words died within her. She’d seen Sindy Drummond’s photo and recognised her in the smart grey dress, with matching grey tights and high-heel courts. But it was Tony who had made her mouth drop. Or rather it was Toni. Because Sindy’s partner was a woman. Like Sindy she was six foot in heels. She wasn’t a bimbo, but not far off it in Sissy’s view, and clearly an air-head from the way she dressed. Toni was in a red mini-dress, pale red stockings, one of which she was fixing and grumbling about, and wearing red high-heeled sandals. Sindy at the same time was trying to fix a long dangling earring on Toni’s left earlobe. Whose long blonde hair was swept back over her shoulders to let long red earrings dangle down on show. And while Sindys pale pink polished nails were short, Toni’s were long and red. It was quite clear which of them was the wife, and which was the banker.

The three woman stared at each other, before Sissy got her wits about her and introduced herself.

“Hi, I’m Sissy Johnson, wife of John Johnson, the company president. Everybody calls him JJ. I just stopped by to welcome you to Wellingburg.” She hesitated for a moment, “I wanted to let Toni know we have a full wives program of get-together's, and leave you a copy of this month's meeting places.” She dried for a moment, before getting it together. “Your next door neighbours are Frank and Kate Strieber, he’s the…”

Sindy interrupted. “Building Services VP.”

“Yes, that’s right.” Said Sissy and pulled a face. “Kate’s an acquired taste though, she’s English, you know. Funny accent and all.”

“Oh good, a fellow Brit.” Said the almost bimbo wife shyly.

Sissy blinked, the voice was soft, deepish, nervous, and posh English. God she thought, another one. Even the English lesbians were moving in on our America girls now. What next!

“How’d you two meet?” she blurted out, she hadn’t meant to be so blunt, it just came out. But it occurred to her that Toni was really shy. Sindy had taken her hand and had to almost pull her over to meet Sissy, before letting it go to air kiss. Toni she thought did the same reluctantly, and she was sure she saw Sindy put a hand behind Toni’s back and push her forward to do so. But then the English were famous for their reserve, weren’t they.

Sindy smiled, “When I was in England for my last bank, I was invited to a garden party weekend by one of the directors. When my taxi didn’t turn up Sunday afternoon to take me to the train station, Toni’s father asked her to give me lift back to London.”

Kate had been about to go next door and say hi, when Sissy drove up, and she decided to wait until Sissy had gone. Now she watched Sissy’s car drive off. Well! Lets get it over with, she thought. As she moved to the door, her Blackberry went off.

The sound of a man and woman talking came to Kate through the part open front door.

“Why did you have to choose these, there a real pain in the arse to wear,” said an exasperated English male voice.

“Because you look sexy in seams, sweetheart, and I’m gonna fuck your brains out when we get back from the mall.”

“Not if I get a headache,” retorted the man with a laugh.

“Better not.”

Curious at the conversation she was hearing, Kate pushed the door open further and looked inside.

“Hi, welcome to America.” She called out.

Two tall slim women looked back at her. “Hi,” said the one in the grey dress. The sexy blonde in red, just looked panicked and like she wished the floor would open and swallow her up whole.

Kate grinned. “So how long have you been dressing as a girl, Tony?”

“Oh god,” said the blonde in a light male voice and turned and lent on the kitchen counter in despair.

“Toni, if it’s any help, I would never have guessed till you started talking male.”

“Gee, thanks a lot,” came the reply in an over the top fake American accent. “And No. No I do not go around dressed as a girl. This is just one, Gigantic, Big, screw-up after another.”

“Just at home, then,” she said teasing.

“No! I do not!” said the blonde cross.

“Well there was the office party last year. Hon. Then, there was of course how we meet.” Said Sindy grinning. “And to fair, you and your sister were the hottest girls their!”

“That was my sisters doing, and you know that.”

“Really. So, you just dress up to meet bankers?” Kate grinned.

“You know, it’s a good job I’m English too, and know you’re joking. People have been murdered for less out here in the good old US of A.”

Kate tried not to laugh. It was weird seeing the hot blonde talking with a cross man’s voice. And boy she thought, she really is hot.

“Oh, ignore him, or perhaps I should say, her,” Sindy said with a laugh, looking at her partner.

“Keep on laughing darling, I’m defiantly getting a headache tonight, now.”

Sindy held out her hand to Kate.

“Hello, I’m Sindy Drummond. Tony’s in such a bad mood as the shippers have lost all her clothes,” she giggled, then looking back at her husband, “sorry hon,” she looked back at Kate. “His, clothes. We were just about to go to the Mall to get some more man stuff for him.”

Kate was enjoying this, she liked Americans, but they didn’t always get when she was joking and took things too seriously. She was having fun with Tony. “So what happened to his Man clothes, or did Tony travelled here as one of us in a dress.”

“Oh, for god’s sake. No! I did not drive here dressed as a woman.” said Tony turning to look at Kate, who held her arms out.

“So?”

“There was a sunk in garage when we arrived last night and we wanted to put the cars away. Tony was schussing it out when it sprayed him. And God, did it make a stink. I made him strip naked right there and go take a shower. I mean the garage still stinks unbelievably this morning. That’s why the cars are still outside. I took his T-shirt, well everything he had on outside on a stick. I wasn’t touching it. Someone had been burning rubbish during the day before we got here, so I just dumped the lot on what was left of the fire and burnt them.” She giggled, “It wasn’t until we were trying to find the boxes with his clothes in, that we found they weren’t here.”

“So why dress Tony up as a sexy housewife today.”

“Oh, for Christ sake! Will you let up on this.” Tony was not enjoying this.

Sindy grinned, “Why not, I think he looks hot as a girl, don’t you. And he can pick out his own clothes out at the Mall, he just has to pretend they are for his husband.” She giggled some more at the thought. “He had Sissy Johnson fooled.”

“Yep, you sure did that.” Kate got her blackberry out and showed Sindy the text Sissy had sent her and the other director’s wives.

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, Oh Shit. You going to tell Toni, or shall I. Sissy is vindictive, you come clean now, and she will feel humiliated and use her husband to destroy your banking career. You won’t be able to get a banking job in Mongolia, let alone the U.S. or U.K. or Europe. She’ll pursue you to the ends of the earth to keep making you pay. She can be really nice at times, but she’s like that I’m afraid. Vindictive.”

Tony was watching them, leaning back on the counter, arms folded. “Why are you too whispering. What’s the secret.”

The two women look at each other, they didn’t realise they had been. Sindy moved over to her husband, pushing into him, forcing him back against the counter.

“Sorry Honey, but I’ve got a big favour to ask.” She pushed her groin into Toni’s and rubbed the two dresses together. Kate watched the women getting personal, she knew the blonde was really a man, but her head still saw two women, and she watched fascinated as the brunette started to seduce the blonde. God it was hot watching them kiss. She wasn’t bi, but those two could turn any woman.

“What.” Said Tony, breaking from Sindy’s lips. “Is the problem.”

“That woman, Sissy Johnson, she’s texted all the other directors wives to say were lesbians, and you’re a girl.”
Sindy kissed Tony again. “I love you, you know that.”

He grimaced.

“We just tell the truth, I get extremely embarrassed and everyone has a big laugh at my expense. Hell of an ice breaker.”

“I wish honey it was that easy, but Kate says this woman will take being fooled personally, and wreck my career to get back at us.”

“We move then.”

Kate watched Tony caress Sindy's breast, the nape of her neck.

“Sorry, but that’s gonna take two or three years. We’ve just got here. Anything less and people will want to know why we’re moving so soon.” She look her husband deep in the eyes. “Sorry Honey, but I need you to be Toni with an i, for those three years. Sorry Hon.”

Tony groined. “Oh, god…,” followed by a resigned, “I guess,” said slowly. “But someone’s bound to find out.”

Sindy shook her head. “Kate, you’ll help Toni, won’t you.”

“Of course. Us English girls have to stick together, right.” Grinned Kate.

“If they don’t get murdered first.” Retorted Toni.

Kate stuck her tongue out at Toni. This was going to be fun. She was getting an English girlfriend. There was a look of desperation on Toni’s face. “God help me. But I can’t believe we won’t get found out.”

Kate watched them kiss some more, maybe it was because she knew Toni was a guy, but she wanted to join in.

“Ok, you guys, keep that up and you’ll both need your make-up doing again, or I’ll have to get a bucket of water. That could be fun too! Anyway Ladies. Time to hit the shops and start kitting out Toni.

The two women looked at each other. Sindy said ‘The merc?”

Toni nodded. “Yes. I’ll get the keys.”

Kate smiled. “The Lambo, the Espada is yours?”

Sindy grinned back. “No. he won’t let me drive it, the sod. It’s his pride and joy. There both Toni’s. I had my Lexus stolen a week ago from airport parking while I was out here for my last meeting before we moved over.”

They were moving through the clothes racks choosing dresses that would suit Toni. Kate had deliberately moved Sindy away from Toni so they could talk out of Toni's earshot.

"What do you think of this one." Kate held up a strappy summer dress.

"No, you need real boobs to wear that."

Kate kept holding the dress up.

"What?"

Kate checked Toni would not hear her.

"That's the point. It will be summer in a couple of months and every woman will be showing cleavage. And if Toni isn't."

Sindy was about to reply when it hit her.

"That's right." Said Kate. "Toni's going to need to have a Boob job!"

Any comments good or bad, please feel free to comment. I don't bite!