Magic is complicated. Family doesn't help. In this instalment we take one final giant step backwards. Events unfold including but not limited to: An assault on Bad Juju (with some assistance from a big stick) And Alistor has an identity crisis because Sarah has awkward teeth.

“And he was going like..”
My face scrunched up and I waved my hand around like crazy.
Sarah laughed so much she fell on her butt.
“I KNOW right? And Sally was like..”
My other arm came up and waved just as crazy.
Sarah snorted like a pig and carried on laughing.

“Come on kids, dinner’s ready”
I stopped mid hand wave.
Sarah frowned back at the house.
She shuffled over to me on her butt and threw herself around me in a hug.
“Alis”
She rubbed her face in my hair and grabbed my hands.
“Com’ on, dinna”
A sigh came out of my mouth but I let her lift me up instead of arguing.

We stumbled into the kitchen, Sarah leading the way as always.
“Go wash up”
Sarah nodded to mum and continued dragging me toward the bathroom.
She shot a look over her shoulder at mum and huddled closer to me with a giggle.
“Alis” She shot her head back at mum naughtily and grinned.
“Le’s swap” She Popped the ‘P’, her eyes wide with fun.
I sighed but shrugged anyway.
Sarah’s grin got really big and she yanked me into the bathroom.
“Com’on quick” She clicked out the ‘K’ hard and was already pulling her shirt over her head.
My back pushed tight against the bathroom door to make sure it was shut.
“Shoes first Sarah”
She huffed with her shirt up over her armpits.
She stood still long enough for me to bend down and untie her shoe laces before turning to undo mine as well.
“S’ert next” she tutted on the ‘T’.
I think she was trying to sound like mum.
“Sure, sure” I mumbled, having to help her get her shirt up over her head.
She did a little shimmy and dropped out of her shorts too.
“Com’on quick” she hissed at me.
I yanked my shirt over my head and dropped my shorts too.
We had to awkwardly shuffle around each other to get re-dressed.
“S’oes” She commanded with her foot out toward me.
It took me a moment to realise what was wrong.
“Socks first”
She grit her teeth at me and flicked her hand up.
I frowned but didn’t argue with her, she’s right we were taking too long.
Sarah sat on the closed toilet lid while I slid my socks onto her feet.
“Done Alis?”
I hopped a few times to get her other sock on my foot then bent down and put my shoes on her, tying them tight.
Sarah grinned at me in appreciation.
She went straight for the door but I stopped her with a raised hand.
This is why I lean against the door, I learnt from the last few times, she’s so impatient.
I managed to get her shoes tied tight on my feet and inspected her.
As usual she stood ready with her arms out.
This was all part of the fun of it for her by now.

It took longer than it should have for me to realise what was bugging me.
“Hairclips”
Sarah dropped her arms and glared at me.
I reached to undo them and offered her a shrug as compensation.
A few moments later I had the clips slid into my hair, either side of my face.
Sarah hummed happily and stroked the hair clips.
“P’itty” She coo’d out, popping the P as always.
I slowly moved her hands off my head, fixing her with my best warning look.
“You’re me. Nothings pretty”
Sarah pouted but nodded along.
“No pouting either”
Her eyes went sharp and she glared at me instead.
“No big wo’rds” she hissed out, her finger waggling in my face.
I sighed but she ignored it to keep waving her finger.
“Ta’wk ‘ike dis?” I imitated her.
She went back to pouting.
“Meany”

===========

“How was Cathy’s today Sarah?”
I shifted in my seat and grunted rather than answer.
Dad looked a little upset but he didn't tell me off for it.
Under the table Sarah kicked me in the leg, hard.
“Well at least one of you seems happy, how was Cathy’s Al?”
Sarah practically bounced in her seat and grinned at Dad.
“We did f’inga pain’in!” she cheered happily.
I had to resist the urge cover my head.
Mum started choking on her dinner for a few seconds but cleared it quickly.
Dad’s smile got a bit strained. He glanced between me and Sarah a few times.
“again?” Mum asked as if it hurt to even speak it.
Dad looked once more between me, with my head down trying to look innocent, and Sarah, looking wide eyed and guilty with her hand over her mouth.
“again” he sighed out, shooting me an upset look but turning to calm down mum first.
Mum was looking at us both in annoyance.
“How the he.. No, I don’t want to know. For the last time Al, Sarah’s clothes aren’t yours!”
I kept my head down and tried to avoid looking at Sarah.
“We’re T’wins” Sarah tutted out past the T.
Mum looked at her in warning but turned back to me again with a frown.
Dad took over explaining to Sarah.
“You’re twin’s honey but Al is a boy and you’re a girl. You can’t keep swapping clothes”
Sarah sat tense and glared at him.
I breathed in, ready for the explosion.
“We’re Twins, Alis wear’ mine, I wear ‘ers”
Sarah folded her arms and pouted hard as if she expected everyone to bow down to her logic.
I cringed.
Dad stalled just long enough for mum to jump in.
“Sweetie, it’s not right. You and Al can’t keep doing this, we have enough on our plates without yo-“
She shot Dad a glare.
“oh for god sake Gerald”
The dam broke and Dad started laughing.
“Alice” he managed between laughs, his hand came up to rub my hair.
“Alice Cooper, perfect. How did I never think of that?”
Mum growled at him which shut him up quickly.
She shut her eyes and brought a hand up to rub at her temple.
Dad took the chance to look over at me and fake an air guitar.
My hand cupped over my mouth to cover my smile from mum.

==============

I lay in bed, still awake despite our early punishment bedtime.
“Alis”
Sarah’s voice hissed quietly at me from the floor.
With a sigh I put down my torch and book.
Careful to not make a noise I slid out of bed and slowly I crawled over to the vent in the corner.
A few tugs with my fingertips had the grate loose.
Sarah’s sleepy but grinning face came into view.
“Wanna’ ‘leep ‘ere?” She asked, mangling her words but I understood what she meant.
Her hand gestures have always been easier to understand then her spoken words.
It’s awkward to do while laying down, we tended to stick to short one word sentences and gestures usually.
It’s easier to talk silently at night if you use your hands anyway.
To be honest, I think she’s just being lazy with words when she talks.
She understands me fine and she’s far too clear when we talk with our hands for it to be how she really thinks.

I shook my head and waved her back toward her bed.
She looked a little hurt so I raised a hand for attention and wiggled my fingers.
Eventually she sighed in disappointment but she understood.
With Mum being mad about earlier the last thing we needed was her catching us sharing again too.
Sarah shuffled off and I slid the grate back in place.
“N’ite Alis”
My mouth shifted into a smile.
“Night Sarah”

============

“I'm just saying it’s weird, Gerald”
I looked up from my book but there’s not much I can do about it.
Dad says the walls are thin and mums got a loud voice.
“Suze, come on, their just kids”
Mum obviously did something because he trailed off into silence.
“Last week they came home from Cathy’s and they’d already switched places, it’s not normal Gerald, they need to grow out of it soon or it will get them into trouble”
I frowned, letting my book drop into my lap.
Mum is always worrying about us swapping.
I don’t get why, Sarah finds it funny and it’s not like it hurts anyone.
“Suze, what can we do about it? We tried separating them and Sarah had a fit. We tried giving them different haircuts and Sarah had a fit.”
Mum didn't have an answer for that one.
If something happened she didn't like, Sarah DID tend to go off screaming and shouting like mad about it.
The haircuts had been horrible.
My hand came up to gently pat my shoulder length hair, just to make sure it was still there.
“We both know the kids are.. special.”
There was another long pause.
“Sarah is far behind her age group for speaking..” dad edged carefully.
“She will grow out of it, the doctors said so”
As always, mum jumped to defend Sarah.
“..and Al..” Dad continued, apparently not willing to argue the point with mum.
I pulled my blankets up higher and hugged them tight to myself.
“..The kids smart Suze.. Like your brother Joe, not normal smart”
Mum didn't answer, my imagination had her sitting down with her mouth in Sarah’s best pout.
“He corrected me on the crossword the other day, with only a glance at the paper.”
More silence.
“I caught him writing out math equations from your college prep work the day before that too”
Even more silence.
“He invented that sign language thing him and Sarah are always do-“
Mum cut across him, a bit too loudly in my opinion.
“Okay, I get it Gerry. You’re little boy is oh so special. You’re so proud”
I cringed and pulled my covers partly over my head.
They didn't help.
“Suze..” Dad trailed off, his voice sounding hurt.
Mum didn't say anything back.
“..he’s your son too”
Neither of them said anything for a while.

============

“I don’t want him to turn out like Joe”
My book folded shut and I almost sighed.
I’d hoped that was the end of it.
“Joe’s successful Suze”
Mum snorted like a pig.
“Joe’s a shut in Gerry! He can’t cope with the world, he’s constantly in his own head working out.. working out.. I DON’T KNOW.”
She was breathing hard.
“He was always like that, even when we were kids. We’d get sent out to play and he would sit there counting grass so he could work out how much was in the whole field”
Dad was quiet for a while this time.

“Maybe that’s why they do it?” Dad asked, sounding a bit surprised.
Mum grunted.
I scrunched up my face in confusion.
“What?” Mum finally snapped, asking the question we both wanted answered.
“Why Sarah and Al keep swapping places. As much as you like to jump the gun at Al for it, we’ve both seen them go off to swap before. Sarah is usually the instigator.”
My face stayed scrunched up. I made a note to find out what in-sti-gay-tor meant in the morning.
“She’s not-“ Mum started but stopped for some reason.
“Let’s not argue that again. My point is that.. maybe pretending to be Sarah.. maybe it helps Al connect with the world.. maybe Sarah knows it and that’s why she encourages him”
Mum grumbled a bit but didn't give an actual answer that I could hear.
“They’re kids Gerald” she finally ground out, as if we were stupid or something.
“They’re twins Suze and at least one of them, possibly both of them is special.”
Mum didn't answer at first, then she sniffed loudly.
“Can’t they just be normal?.. sometimes I just wish..”
Dad made some murmuring noises.

I’d heard enough, too much honestly.
Quietly as possible I reached under my bed and pulled out Dad’s ear defenders.
He let me keep them when he showed me around his tool shed.
I don’t think he realised at the time, just how much use I would get out of them.
A normal kid would have gotten bored of them pretty quickly.
A normal kid would..
I don’t know..
What would Sarah do? Dad said she wasn't normal either but.. she’s closer.
Sarah doesn't read books, she doesn't do maths, and she doesn't write or speak well either.
..but Sarah’s more normal..

I looked over at my half-read copy of Lord of the rings.
After a few seconds considering it, I lifted the heavy book up and slid it under my bed.

=============

“Al honey, can you go get Sarah’s shoes for me?”
My legs almost moved on their own but I stalled at the last minute.
With a deep breath I turned back around and gave mum my best version of Sarah’s pout.
“I don’ wanna”
Mum froze half way through tucking in Sarah’s vest.
Slowly she turned around to look at me.
She flinched hard when she saw the pout.
I must have got it spot on.
“Al.. what’s wro-“
I cut across her, stamping my foot and scrunching both my hands into fists.
“I don’ wanna, I don’ wanna, I don’ wanna!”
Mum looked shell shocked.
From behind her I could see Sarah staring at me with her mouth dropped open in shock too.

==========

“I'm telling you Gerry, it was uncanny. For a minute I thought I was dealing with Sarah having a hissy fit”
Dad snorted
“You’re over-reacting Suze”
Mum growled, in my head she had Sarah’s pout again.
“It was scary Gerry.. Al.. a boy shouldn't be able to just pout and look like that.”
Dad didn't seem to have an answer for her.
“Didn't you notice at dinner? Since last night, Al’s started copying Sarah.”
Dad coughed awkwardly.
“They’re twins Suze. We've covered this, they're bound to react alike”
Mum growled again.
“This isn't them acting alike Gerry. Everything’s changed, Al’s body language is different. At first I thought they’d managed to swap places without me realising it but Sarah was acting normal”

Quickly I yanked Dad’s ear defenders on so I didn't have to hear any more.

It wasn't working.
I acted like Sarah but it just made Sarah more normal and me weirder.
Maybe if I.. well I could.. Sarah would go for it at least..
I’ll check with her in the morning.

==============

“Sarah, Al, come down for breakfast”
Sarah giggled and grabbed my hand.
We staggered down the stairs.
I was nervous but Sarah was excited.
“Mornin’ mum” Sarah chanted like normal.
“Hi mum” I added tentatively, keeping my tone light as possible to keep up with Sarahs.

Slowly mum turned around to look at us with wide eyes.
“Oh no..”

===============

Dad didn't sound pleased this time.
“Both of them?”
“Yep, both of them. Standing there bold as brass. Both wearing Sarah’s nighties like it was normal”
Dad sputtered a bit.
“I tried to convince them to go and get changed but..”
She paused and continued angrily.
“Gerry, don’t give me that look! I had to get to work and the moment I tried to argue with them, they BOTH sunk into hissy fit’s”
There was another short pause, then mum continued in a sharp tone.
“They were in sync Gerry, they fed off each other. In the end I had to yell over them that they could stay that way just to shut them up”
Dad sputtered to himself.
“B..but you sorted it before they went to Cathy’s right?.. right?”
There was a painfully long pause.
“Suze” Dad uttered, sounding offended.
“You weren't there Gerry! I tried to get them dressed and it just set them off again. In the end I told them to dress themselves and they shot off-“
Dad sighed loudly.
“oh boy..”
Mum let out a mirthless laugh.
“Exactly.. Cathy was ever so surprised when the twins turned up today in color matched sun-dresses”
Dad groaned and made a loud ‘thunk’ sound somehow.
“And the worst part Gerry.. The worst part that really worries me is that they had fun today.”
Mum made a strange snorting laugh noise.
“Both of them had fun Gerry. Al didn't read a book all day, he joined in with the others. Apparently he followed Sarah around all day and Sarah introduced him to everyone as Alice and the other kids just accepted it..”
She sniffed loudly.
“I don’t know what to do Gerry. Are we bad parents? Should we take Al to a shrink?”
Dad made a low grumbling sound but it didn't sound like he was disagreeing with her.

I slid on my ear defenders.
I’ll have to get dressed quick tomorrow. I need to check what a shrink is apparently.

=================

I stumbled a little as we walked out the front door.
Sarah’s shoes are slippery to walk in, her dragging me by my hand isn't helping.
My head keeps trying to sink down too, I got up too early.
It was useless anyway, my dictionary has nothing about a shrink.
It’s a verb for making things smaller, there’s no such thing as ‘A’ shrink.

“Alis com’on” Sarah gave me a hard yank toward the car and I staggered head first into it.
Sarah gasped, her hands came up to stroke my head better.
I looked at her a little stunned, she looked guilty and she was already crying.
Mum came out of the house in a rush.
For a split second I considered my options.
What would Sarah do…
..no..
What would Alis do?
Slowly I scrunched my face up tight.
My hand came up to cup the bump on my head and I let out a scream of pain.
Mum dropped her keys and Sarah joined me in crying fully.
I felt kind of guilty when mum looked at us as if she had no idea what to do.

After a moment her face fixed into a pained look of determination and she approached us.

==============

“I can’t keep this up Gerry.”
Dad didn't answer her.
“Something’s seriously wrong with Al”
Dad snorted.
“That’s an understatement, he called me Daddy today”
Mum gasped.
“Exactly, the kid hasn't called me Daddy in years.. Sarah does but Al..”
They both went quite.
I fiddled nervously with my blanket.
The temptation to reach out and get a book was strong but I carefully resisted.
Alis wouldn't read a book.
I decided I’d heard enough.
Slowly I slide my ear defenders out from under the bed.

For a moment I considered them with a frown.
Sar..Alis..
Alis wouldn't wear them at night.
I needed them though.
In my head I considered the options and decided.
Tomorrow I'm bringing them with me to Aunt Cathy’s.
She’s got arts and crafts stuff.. Sarah can help.

With that decision made I slipped them on and settled down to sleep.

==============

Mum seemed a bit surprised that me and Sarah weren't wearing dresses again today.
I still had on Sarah’s stuff but she was wearing shorts and I had her overalls on instead.
She didn't say anything, but I think mum was a bit relived.
We got out to the car without incident and she dropped us off at Aunt Cathy’s.

Sarah grabbed my hand the moment we got in.
She tried to pull me down the hall but I leaned back.
She turned around to shoot me a confused look.
I raised my backpack up to her and nodded towards the crafts cupboard.
Sarah’s eyes went a bit wide but her smile got wider.
“Aun’t Cat’y, we do c’afts?!” She yelled out at the top of her voice.

Aunt Cathy looked around at her in surprise but looked back down as Gary and Tom grabbed her pants leg for attention as well.
Quickly she looked back at us, more specifically me, and nodded.
“Okay but don’t make a mess. I’ll call you for breakfast”
Sarah cheered and did a little dance hop.
I copied her which seemed to make her smile even more.
Her smile was so big it looked painful.
“Com’on” she told me, giving my arm a yank towards the crafts cupboard.
As we moved I grabbed the foot stool and dragged it with us so I could reach the middle shelf.
That’s where Aunt Cathy keeps the pipe cleaners and the ribbons after all.
=============

“P’itty” Sarah uttered in awe.
Her hand was stroking my hair and patting at the ear defenders.
Aunt Cathy came in the door just then and jolted back with a gasp.
Sarah dropped her hand guiltily but her smile was still there.
My smiled matched hers.
We stared at Aunt Cathy for a moment.
Slowly I dropped my mouth open like Sarah does when she wants to be cute.
“Meow” I let out, my hands coming up to my chin, folded over like paws.

=============

Mum gasped and stared at me with wide eyes.
It was almost automatic by now for me to pose and let out another ‘meow’
She looked confused, glancing between my new looking ear defenders and my clothes a few times.
It probably wasn't helping that I was currently in Sarah’s shorts instead of her overalls.
We swapped a few times through the day.
I don’t think Aunt Cathy worked it out.
She seemed to think Sarah just liked my ear defenders now.
Who could blame her if she did?
The cat ears took ages to make with cardboard and pipe cleaners, the ribbons cover the scratched paint too. The ears took the most time obviously because they need to be strong so they don’t break when I go to sleep.
“Sarah wh-“
Mum abruptly stopped as Sarah came cannoning past me and ran into mums arms with a playful giggle I've still not managed to get right yet.
Mum’s face went a little pale.
With one arm hugging Sarah’s excited self, her other one came up to rub at her temple slowly.
I grinned at her and tried my own giggle.
Judging by mum’s spasm, I think I got it right this time.

=============

Mum was breathing heavy, I think she’s stopped for now.
I kept my kitty ear defenders on at first though, she still sounded really angry.
“-call in sick tomorrow Suze. I can drop Sarah off at Cathy’s and have a word with Al, okay?”
Mum sniffed loudly but didn't answer him.

Slowly I rolled over and pulled my ear defenders back on.
Sarah’s not going to be happy about that.
I don’t think I’ll tell her about it.
Even I don’t like it when Sarah goes off having a fit about stuff.

=============

Dad gaped at us.
Sarah was grinning her head off.
She pulled me past Dad so we could get out the front door to the car.
With my free hand I reached up and patted my ear defenders, just to make sure they were still on my head.

============

Dad slammed his door shut and let out a long slow breath.
From here, with the doors shut, I could hear Sarah’s screaming already.
Aunt Cathy is not going to be happy with Dad any time soon.
I think dad knew it too.
He looked back at the house for a minute before turning on the car and pulling us onto the road.
As we drove away I slid my ear defenders down around my neck.
Sarah’s loud when she’s mad.

“Okay.. uh.. Al.. is there anything you want to tell me?”
I stared at him with Sarah’s big wide innocent look but didn't answer.
He glanced away from the road and flinched hard when he saw it.
“oh god..” he groaned out under his breath.

For a while he didn't look at me.
Eventually he sighed deep and pulled us into a parking spot.
“Come on, we can go sit in the park”
I nodded and hopped out after him.
He seemed surprised when I sprinted past him to get to the swings.
Sarah loves swings.
Alis should love swings.
It just makes sense.
Dad called to me before I could get anywhere close to them though.

“Al-“ he cut himself off and glanced around at the other parents.
He looked hard at me for a moment too.
Self-consciously, I fluffed Sarah’s dress a bit by swinging my arms and tried not to fidget.
“Alice” Dad finally said.
It looked like it hurt for him to say it.
I gave him my best big Sarah smile, it didn't help if his look was any indication.
“Come sit on the bench first, we need to talk”
My shoulders slumped but I followed him with a bit of relief.
I didn't really want to go to the swings anyway, it’s just what I should do to be Alis.
Sarah like swings.
Dad says I get motion sick on swings though.

“Al..ice..” Dad started slowly, stalling over the name.
I dunno why, Alis is most of my name.
Dad sighed loudly and sunk his head in his hands for a moment.
“Kid.. what's going on with you?”
My mouth dropped open and I stared at him.
“You’re mum might be in denial but I know you understand things more then you should”
He shifted his back and leaned into the bench a little.
“Why do you let Sarah dress you like.. like this?”
He waved his hand toward the dress.
I looked down and kicked my legs a little instead of answering.
“..and the swapping thing.. and the last few weeks.”
He didn't sound angry, just confused.

We sat in silence for a while.
I cracked first, I hate awkward silences.
“Sarah likes it”
Dad sighed deep and stared off into the distance a bit.
“That’s part of it, what else? The last few weeks.. you have us a bit worried to be honest..”
I didn't answer him.
After a while he seemed to give up.
“This Alice stuff.. I mean.. what’s going on with that? Do you want to be a girl, like Sarah, is that it?”
My head jerked up and I gaped at him.
He stared hard at me for a moment and seemed even more surprised than I did.
“..that’s not it, is it?..”
Slowly I looked back down and shook my head.
My throat bobbed and I had to remember to breathe out for a second.
“Sarah doesn't know.”
Dad’s eyebrow tweaked up at me.
“She can’t say Alistor. She doesn't know any better so she says what she can.”
Dad glared hard for a moment in thought before his eyes went wide in realisation.
“Al-is?” He said it more like a question then a name.
I nodded though.
“She can’t do hard ‘T’s yet. In ‘Natural Health’ they said that some kids have different teeth that can’t do it until they’re older..and a lot of them get self-conscious about it so I didn't correct her”
Dad looked a little stunned but slowly nodded along in agreement.
He probably read the same article, it was his magazine not mine.

“That’s not all of it though, is it?”
My head shot up again then I guiltily moved it back down.
“That’s what Alis means to Sarah. What about to you?” he made a point to speak out the name to make it obvious it wasn't a girl’s name to him this time.
I sighed and tried to push deeper into the bench.
“Alis.. Alice..” I trailed off putting emphasis on the second one to show him what I meant.
He seemed to get it a bit.
He looked a little ill when he did though.
“I.. I heard you and mum the other day”
Dad gasped and his face got really tight with worry.
“The walls are thin” I stated in a rough tone, giving him a half smile.
Despite himself, dad let out a little laugh.
He’d told me that whenever he caught me playing with Toys after bed time when I was younger.
Looking at it logically, I don’t think he realised how true it'd been.
With everyone in bed and the TV off, the house was so silent you could hear a pin drop.. or any conversation above a whisper if you were close enough.
I don’t think Sarah could hear them at least, that’s something.
Her room is on the other side of mine so there’s enough space to hide the sound.
She’s never mentioned it anyway, and when I sleep in her room sometimes, I've never heard anything.

“Look kid, I-“
My hand came up and waved away dad’s words.
I don’t need him to apologise.
“I'm weird. I know that.”
He built himself up to argue but I stared up at him and he went quiet again.
Slowly I reached up and pulled my ear defenders off from around my neck.
For a while I just stared at them hard.
“Dad.. I know I'm weird. I know it scares mum and it worries Sarah”
He didn't answer, his eye twitched though instead.
“Sarah started calling me Alis in school a while ago. I don’t know why she did it so suddenly but everyone copied her after a while.”
My hands fumbled with the ear defenders for a moment, as I considered how to get the words out.
“When mum said about it the other day.. It hurt.”
Dad’s slipped over and squeeze my knee a little bit.
“But.. but she’s not wrong, ya know?”
Dad’s hand squeezed a little harder, I kept my eyes on the ear defenders.
“I don’t know how to be normal Dad.. but I.. I can be like Sarah.”
Dad flinched and I could feel his eyes on me.
“I've been trying to be normal for the last few weeks.”
My free hand gently stroked the ribbon I’d wrapped around the band of my protectors the other day.
“I started asking myself what Sarah would do in stuff but that didn't work.. so.. I asked myself what Alice would do..”

Dad’s hand didn't move from my leg, I don’t think he moved at all for a while.
I focused on the defenders, stroking the ribbon ends and patting the cat ears I’d made for them.
I'm kind of proud of them, they look cute.
A girl.. Alice, Alice would love them.. and the ears are really strong, I liked that.
“I don’t think Sarah has realised. I think she’s just happy I'm doing more stuff with her.”
My hand shook a little.
“I don’t want to be weird dad”
Dad let out a slow breath as if it hurt.

“You’re not weird”
My head shot up and this time I stayed staring at him.
“You’re special Al..” He glanced around and eventually settled back on me with a small smirk.
I couldn't resist the small smile that came out.
“Special people, it’s okay to be special Al. You.. Some people don’t get that.”
He sighed and shut his eyes for a moment.
“You’re mum.. She means well. She doesn't get it either though.”
He shook his head a little.
“She grew up with your uncle Joe around, I didn't meet Joe until college.. By the time I met him, Joe was comfortable with himself, he was blowing the grade curve on every subject and enjoying it..”
His hand left my knee and cupped together with his other one.
“Suze.. Your mum, she just remembers him as he was, an awkward kid who no one understood and people teased. She can’t see the happy person he is now.”
I kept my mouth shut.
Uncle Joe only visits around Christmas time, mum always tries to keep him from doing anything.
It’s like she’s worried he’ll break something or get hurt if he does something.
I know he’s okay though.
He used to be put in the TV room with us.
He caught me reading a book and we talked a lot.
Sarah didn't like it, she kept trying to tug me to go play with her toys but he’s nice and he seemed happy.

“Mum loves you, don’t doubt that Al”
My nose scrunched up, I had my doubts.
Dad seemed to notice because he pulled me into a soft hug.
“She does love you, she just.. She doesn't understand you. She gets Sarah, she understands Sarah and maybe she goes a bit too far defending her at times..” he trailed off as if he was talking to himself instead of me for a moment.
“..but she loves you a lot. I think she’s been realising just how much over the last few weeks.”
He shifted me a little and I ended up sitting on his lap.
He wrapped his arms around me and popped his chin on my head like he used to.
“You really scared her Al. At first she was kind of happy, worried about you dressing like a girl obviously, but happy that you were making friends and acting.. normal”
I could feel his chin tense at having to say that word again.
“She thought this was her chance to finally understand you.. but as time’s gone on she’s gotten more and more worried about you.”
He sighed and rubbed his chin on my head.
I'm kind of glad I took the ear defenders off, he would have broken them.
“She doesn't want you do be a clone of Sarah. You don’t need to.. to be an Alice for us to care about you kid. We both love Alistor just as much”
A smile spread on my face and I nuzzled back into Dad.
He let out a sigh and relaxed a bit along with me.

“Seeing as you’re dressed like that..”
Dad let go of me and gave me a little push so I would stand up.
“How about we go pick up Sarah and I take my daughters shopping? Ice cream may be involved too”
My mouth dropped a little.
“Dad!” I hissed at him.
He looked amused.
“I'm not a daughter, I don’t want to go shopping either”
His mouth moved into a full smile and he knelt down to my level.
“Not what it looks like from here sweetie”
Slowly he brushed the side of my.. of Sarah’s dress and nodded at me as if it proved a point.
I didn't hesitate to bring out Alice this time, Sarah’s pout and foot stamp did a good job of showing that I wasn't amused.
Dad laughed at it though.
“Let’s face it kid, both of us are going to need to do something to calm Sarah down. I figured a shopping trip with her sister and ice cream would do a good job of it”
My eyes went wide for a moment and I shuddered.
Sarah is not going to be happy.

============

Dad stayed in the car and waved me toward the house.
Even from here I could hear her.
I slide my ear defenders carefully onto my head and had to hold back from ‘meow’ing.
It’s weird how much some cardboard cat ears and a day’s worth of pretending can affect you.

My hand was hurting a bit by the time the door opened.
Aunt Cathy took one look at me and gasped in relief.
She mouthed something that started with
“Thank god”
I could tell by the way her mouth waved about.
Quick as possible, I moved past her and ran upstairs following Sarah’s muffled voice.

She was in the guest bedroom.
Apparently she’d worn herself out in the time it took for me and Dad to talk.
She was laying on the floor yelling her head off but she only banged her hands and feet once in a while instead of a full on fit.
“Hey Sarah!”
I had to shout it just in case she couldn't hear me.
She abruptly stopped shouting and her eyes went wide.
In the time it took for me to slide my ear defenders down she was up on her feet and glaring at me.
“ALIS! Where’d ya go?!”
She didn't give me a chance to answer before she dived at me in a tackle and we ended up in a mess on the floor.
She sat up after a moment, looking pleased with herself, but settle back to glaring at me.
Luckily a mix of adult sized stomps from outside reached the doorway at that point and Dad marched in with Aunt Cathy close behind him.
Dad scooped Sarah off of me and wriggled her around in the air which made her eventually crack and giggle.
Aunt Cathy stood back a bit and sighed.
“Thank god that’s over”
She shot a tight look between me, Sarah and Dad before settling on Dad.
“Never again Gerry. I don’t care what the reason is, I'm never putting up with something like that again. How is Susan still sane?”
Dad looked guilty and apologetic.
It seemed like the right thing to do because Aunt Cathy didn't look TOO angry, now at least.

Sarah squirmed in Dads arms and he let her down.
She quickly ran over and grabbed me in a tight hug, rubbing her head in my hair like usual.
“Alis, don’ go ‘way ‘gain”
My hands came up and hugged her back.

“About that..” Dad trailed in.
I cringed a little, knowing full well that I wouldn't enjoy what came next.

===========

“Mum! We’re ‘ome!”
Sarah had a huge grin on her face.
She swished her new dress around happily and kept grinning at me.
I tried to smile but it didn't work too well.
This dress is awkward, and big, and fluffy.
Dad seemed amused about it, the lady at the store had been gushing over us for ages.
“The hell-“
Mums first words stalled.
I shot a look toward Dad and saw him glaring her into silence.
“Suse, can you come with me to talk downstairs for a minute?”
She stared at me and Sarah with wide worried eyes for a moment, but eventually nodded.
“Al, keep an eye on Sarah. Sarah keep an eye on your.. sister, we’ll only be a moment.”
I grimaced but Sarah giggled and pounced on me for another hug.
“Sister, sister” she chanted, rubbing her cheek against mine happily.
Dad gave me an apologetic look but he followed mum downstairs instead of saying anything.

I managed to angle us towards the TV room and turn it on with Sarah still clinging to me.
“Sister, sister” she chanted again, fluffing my dress out.
After a while she got engrossed in some show on TV with a load of girls in it.
At one point she squealed and hugged me close saying something about twins and Anna or something.
I wasn't really paying attention, with my ears strained I could just pick up the sound of yelling coming from downstairs.

==================

I didn't hear anything from mum and dad’s room last night.
They didn't talk at all.
It made me kind of worried.

Sarah seemed really excited this morning.
She dragged me out of bed and slipped one of her nighties on over my pyjamas while I was still waking up.
I managed to squeak out a protest when she grabbed my wrist and pulled me downstairs.
“Mornin’ mum” Sarah chanted out happily.
Mum turned around and I froze.
She didn't look happy, she looked tired..
..Then she saw me, and she looked angry.
I tried to pull back behind the door frame a little but Sarah wouldn't have it.
She was happy to just tug me toward breakfast with a skip in her step.
“Mum, can we wear th’ dress’s t’aday?”
She bounced on her toes in excitement.
Mum gave me a bit of a sharp look for a second but then she turned to Sarah and smiled at her.
“Of course you can, we can show you and Alice off to Auntie Cathy”
She sounded really excited for Sarah and glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.
Sarah squealed in happiness and hugged me tight.
“..but first, breakfast”

============

Dad didn't look happy when he walked into the TV room and saw me huddled up with Sarah in our fluffy dresses watching TV.
He eventually gave us a pained smile and walked back out.
“Susan” he called out.
There was a bit of talking I couldn't hear very well, something about a joke.
I was going to listen for more but they quickly went downstairs.

==============

Mum smiled at me and played with my hair like she always does with Sarah’s.
“Thanks mum” I grinned and ran back to the TV room with lunch.
Sarah reached out for her plate and smiled at me as I flopped on my belly next to her to watch cartoons.

Dad came in from one of his weekend chores, cleaning the car.
We both turned to smile at him as he walked by.
He smiled at us and continued on toward the kitchen.. Then he doubled back and stared at us with wide eyes.
His face went really red, he turned away from us and went quickly toward the kitchen again.
“Susan!” he called out in an angry tone.
Me and Sarah shared a look.
She tilted her head.
I nodded and flicked my wrist a little in response.
Without another word we turned back to the TV.
I reached out to turn up the volume.
Sarah giggled when my long skirt caught on my knees and tugged down a little to show off my undies.

===========

“Girls, dinner”
We rushed downstairs and stalled at the kitchen door because Dad was in the way.
“Susan” Dad sounded calm but he looked really tense.
I turned to Sarah, she nodded and puffed out her cheeks.
We both turned around and walked into the TV room to stay out the way until we got another call.
“Cathy suggested..” was all I heard from dad before the TV kicked in and Sarah got the volume turned up again.

===========

My head was groggy, it felt too early.
“Where’re we going dad?”
My mouth split in a yawn and it made my whole body shake a little.
It’s WAY too early, the suns not even out yet.
“I've got you an appointment, about this Alice stuff. It’s getting out of hand kid, a jokes a joke but..”
I quirked my eyebrows at dad.
He didn't seem to notice though.
Sometimes it would be so much easier if everyone could talk like me and Sarah.
“Okay” I yawned again, stretching out in the car seat while dad buckled me in.

===========

“You okay kid?”
Dad looked a bit worried.
I shuddered and pulled myself closer into the car seat.
That didn't seem to help Dad.
He looked really worried now.
“..The hell did Pastor Roberts do..” He muttered uncertainly.
I shivered and drew myself even tighter into the car seat.
Hell.
I'm going to hell and I'm taking mum and Sarah with me because of Alice!

============

As we pulled into the car garage I could hear Sarah yelling.
Dad barely had time to unbuckle me before mum came storming out of the house.
“GERRY!”
Dad flinched and looked at me uncertainly.
“GERRY! In the house, RIGHT now!”
Dad popped my door open and waved me to get out.
Mum took one look at my face and she looked even madder.
She cupped a hand on the back of my neck and gave me a shove back toward the front door, away from dad.
“I can’t BELIEVE you Gerry! We talked about this! What the he-“ she cut herself off and shot me an angry look over her shoulder.
“In the house, go talk to Sarah, Alice”
Dad’s face twitched, I flinched and my arms came up to hug my stomach.
“NOW!” mum roared.
I jumped and ran for it back inside.
Inside I couldn't hear what was going on behind me because Sarah was making a lot of noise.
Quick as possible I ran downstairs to find Sarah, she was in her room hitting the bed and screaming.
“Hey Sarah..”
She Froze and turned to me with her mouth dropped open.
“Alis”
I flinched and glared at her.
“I'm not Alice!”
Sarah looked really hurt, she sniffed a bit and had tears in her eyes.
I crossed my arms and looked away from her.
Pastor Roberts said I have to not be Alice, I'm not Alice!
“A..” her mouth trembled a little.
She reached out a hand to pull me into a hug.
I pulled away from her and darted out of her room into mine instead.
Boy’s don’t hug girls. That’s bad.
Pastor Roberts said so.

==============

Someone knocked on the door.
“Alice..”
It was mum.
She opened the door and her face looked really bad.
She had puffy eyes with messy makeup.
Slowly she came over to my bed and sat down by my legs.
Her hands were shaking but she reached out to stroke my hair.
I flinched away from her and turned over.
Pastor Roberts said..
..Mum strokes Sarah’s hair. She stroked Alice’s.
I'm not Alice.
“-m not Alice” I muttered aloud.
Mum gasped and her hand moved away from me slowly, it was still shaking though.
We sat like that for a while, then mum got up and walked to the door.
She stood at the door for a while too but I didn't turn around.
I'm not taking her to hell because Alice is bad!

==============

Aunt Cathy smiled at us.
Sarah smiled back but ducked her head to look at me quickly afterwards.
Aunt Cathy smiled at me for a moment then it faded.
“Alice, are you o-“
I yelled and stamped my foot hard.
“I'M NOT ALICE!”
Sarah jumped away from me a little, looking scared.
Aunt Cathy didn't look much better.
I huffed loudly and ran off upstairs.
Uncle George has some books.
Alice doesn't read books.
I'm not Alice!

===============

“-He’s been upstairs all day, won’t talk to anyone. He’s been reading George’s car manuals.. well, looking at them anyway, I don’t think he can read them?”
Mum’s face looked tight and angry.
She looked up the stairs at me and I ducked my head down.
Her and Aunt Cathy watched me make my way down the stairs, past them and out to the car.
Sarah quickly followed behind me but she didn't catch up to me or say anything.

===============

Dad stayed home today.
I don’t think he told mum about it.
She looked really surprised when we came into the house.
Dad looked up at us, his eyes looked weird.
He settled on me and I flinched.
Slowly his face scrunched up like he was going to cry.
He picked up a bottle off the table and drank from it.
“Gerry” Mum hissed through clenched teeth.
Sarah glanced at me, her hand came up to tug me with her but stopped short.
In the end she turned and walked into the TV room looking sad.
I watched mum stamp toward Dad but turned around and followed Sarah into the TV room instead of getting involved.
Bad kids argue with their parents, I'm not bad. I'm not Alice..

================

I woke up feeling warm but moving.
It took me a moment to realise I was being held.
I flinched and struggled to be put down.
Dad almost dropped me but it was enough to get my feet on the floor.
I staggered back a bit and almost fell on my butt.
Dad looked over his shoulder with a worried frown.

I shivered and hugged myself, my hands brushed sleeves that felt weird.
I looked down and saw I was wearing one of Sarah’s dresses.
It was really loose, I don’t think it fits her or me at all.
My hands came up and I could feel my ear defenders on my head.
Frantically I yanked them off and threw them across the room.
I was going to struggle out of the dress but Dad rushed over and scooped me up in his arms trying to hush me to be quiet.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” He muttered quietly.
I winced and tried to get out of his arms again.
His breath smelt bad and he was holding me too tight.
Slowly he took a few steps closer to the car.
It was dark out still, I could see it through the window.
I could feel it, what he was thinking.
He was going to take me to Pastor Roberts again!
I'm not bad! I'm not Alice! I'm not bad!
I panicked and struggled against him.
“Hey, kid, watch-“ Dad staggered and tripped over a cable on the floor.
We almost fell on hard stone but Dad caught himself with a few fast steps forward.

“Daddy?”
Dad flinched.
He slowly turned around and we both could see Sarah standing in the door way.
She looked tired, and confused.
Her nighty didn't help, she shivered as she stepped out onto the cold garage floor.
Dad’s mouth flapped a little.
“Sarah, honey, go back inside okay? It’s too early”
Sarah looked between Dad and me.
She didn't seem fully awake at first.
Her head drooped a little and her eyes squinted but she finally seemed to realise what was going on.
“Oh no..” Dad got out before she opened her mouth and screamed.
Dad staggered toward her and almost dropped me in his rush to get to her.
“NO!” I yelled without thinking about it.
NOT SARAH TOO!
Dad grunted, there was a massive flash of light and I fell on the floor hard.
It really hurt, I couldn't help crying. My eyes hurt too.

As my eyes cleared I could see Sarah stood by the door, furiously scrubbing her eyes to try and clear them.
My head shot around and I could see Dad.
He was on the floor next to his work bench, a load of tools and some liquid was piled up around him like he’d crashed into it hard.
He looked really bad, his mouth was open and he was moving in little jerking fits, his whole body was folded in on itself like Sarah does when she has a nightmare.
A crash by the door made me swing my head again.
I felt kind of dizzy from the movement.
Mum stood in the doorway, her mouth open in shock.
She bent down, scooped Sarah up in her arms and stepped quickly toward me, her eyes focused on Dad the whole way.
I tried to stand up but my legs were wobbly, I managed a staggered step and then I was falling forward.
“Al-“ Mum got out but then the world blacked out around me.

================
================

It turned out that Dad was drunk, I didn't know that at the time.
The doctors said it looked like one of his tools had shorted out when he fell on the table.
He got electrocuted pretty badly.
When he recovered enough to be released things really went wrong.

He said that he was going to take me to a shrink when mum’d caught him.
Mum didn't believe him, they yelled a lot after that.
Dad kept looking at me weird whenever he saw me during the day.
Before bed time on the day he got out of hospital Mum lost it and kicked him out of the house.
She was really scary.
When he finally left she went into the TV room and sat on the sofa crying.
I tried to come and hug her but she pushed me away and yelled a lot.
In the end, I went downstairs to my room, to hide.

A while later I came back up, mum wasn't yelling any more.
I stood at the top of the stairs and watched her rock in the chair hugging Sarah tight.
Instead of going in again I made my way downstairs to my room.
Mum was okay with Sarah, not me.

That stuck with me fo-..
Wait?.. what am I doing?
It feels like my head is fuzzy, like.. like something warm’s pouring over my brain..
Why.. this feels familiar.. why would I..?

==============
==============

I stepped through the doorway
A bell above it rang out.
The shop was about as dingy as it appeared in the guide book.
Its offers and deals, those that I could see, were pretty dumb too.
The electronics and tech in the window were at least twenty years old but the prices were through the roof.
As cover stories for hidden magic shops went, it was probably quite successful.
I can’t think of anyone who would go in here with what was on offer from the window.

The mage guide’s map listed this place as a meeting point, center for potions ingredients, magic books, cut rate focus items and something called ‘the Sibs’, which were apparently a speciality item because it was highlighted.

I’d considered it for a minute or two but in the end there wasn't really a choice to make.
I needed more information, my official tests have me marked as a mage now, non-com status.
They tried to get me into a basic level mage course, apparently it’s all really simple stuff.
A lot of people don’t even go past the basic level course for some reason but everyone so far has gotten uncomfortable when I asked why.
The mage course won’t start for another few months though.
I CAN’T handle waiting that long.
If I can get some books on the course itself, at least I can read ahead on the more interesting topics.

Two old men sat at the front counter, it seems quite possible they could be dead.
Their pasty white skin was wrinkled beyond belief and neither of them twitched at the bell.
I couldn't even tell if they were breathing, my eyes may have kept coming back up to their huge bushy grey eyebrows though, they were impressively large.

I leant across the counter and jumped in fright when one of them moved.
His mouth gaped down and he let out a keening moan.
I staggered back into a display behind me.
To the right of the counter a door eased open, a large man.. a REALLY large man, made his way out.
He came to a stop in front of me.
I stared at him, he stared back at me with a blank look on his face.
For some reason it felt like his name should be ‘Darren’ or something..
He looks like a Darren to me.
“uh..hi?”
He looked at me and grunted as if only just noticing I was there.

“LURCH, how many times! Stop scaring the customers!”
The huge man turned away from me and looked across the messy shop floor towards the voice.
She looked young, really young when compared to the nearly dead men at the counter at least.
In all honesty though, she’s probably about the same age as me, maybe a little older.
She was dressed like a Goth, Black lace skirt with fishnet’s, dark hair, pale skin and big boots.
She almost looked like a stereotype instead of an actual Goth, if you really considered it for a moment.
I may have gotten distracted by her cleavage.

She came jogging up to me with a warm, oddly closed lipped smile.
I hadn't expected her to be so bouncy from the way she was dressed.
“Sorry about him, 5th generation Golem, you know how they can get.”
I may have been paying more attention to her smile then her words at the time.
I nodded along with her and took the chance to smile back.

The huge man, Lurch, a Golem apparently?
He walked off, taking his time to walk back through the door he’d originally come from.
We stood and watched him go.
The Goth girl seemed to watch him with fondness.
My eyes stayed fixed on him with caution, for some reason he put me on edge..
I still think he looked more like a ‘Darren’ then a ‘Lurch’.
When he finally shut the door behind him I turned back to the Goth girl.
She eagerly stuck out a hand for me to shake.
“Hi, I'm Fena.”
My eyebrow twitched a little at the name but I took her hand and shook it politely.
“I'm Al”
She smiled at me, staring into my eyes for just a little too long.

“Ahh” One of the old men groaned out suddenly.
We both jumped and our hands drifted apart.
Fena shot a glare at the old man on the left.
When she didn't get a reaction from him she turned back to me with a huff.
“Sorry about the Sib’s. They mean well at least but..”
She trailed off and looked a little pained.
I smiled at her cheerfully and shrugged.
She seemed to be happy to not finish that sentence, she took the chance to spin around and walk further out on to the shop floor.

“What can I do for you then? I've not seen you around before, new mage?”
I nodded quickly, trying not to show how much I’d been watching her ass as she walked.
Her smirk said that she’d noticed anyway.
“Well, what are you looking for? We don’t tend to keep the basic mage books around here.”
My smile fell a bit but I shrugged it off easily enough.
“I've got a long wait before they have a training slot open for me.”
Her eyebrow raised curiously but she didn't comment.
“I kind of.. Well I'm going to be bored really. I was looking for some books on interesting magic or magical history I guess.”
Fena smiled and nodded at me encouragingly.
Without another word she spun to face the book shelves lining the wall and started picking out books, seemingly at random.

“Okay, we have ‘Magical ‘Merica’, good for light reading and to get an overview on the hidden history behind the American civil war to present day”
She slapped a medium sized book with a green cover into my hands.
“Next I can suggest ‘Mage’s through the ages’, a nice who’s who list of known awakened mages, both active and sleeping”
A bigger, red covered book slapped down into my arms making me buckle a little.
“uh.. What’s an awakened mage?”
Fena paused with her next book in hand looking at me weirdly.
“Honestly, what do they teach you lot these days?”
She grumbled to herself a little but eventually moved back to me with a pleasant smile.
“An awakened mage is someone who’s unlocked their reincarnation memories”
My eyebrow quirked up at her.
She huffed in response.
“Reincarnation? Past lives, cultured experience?”
She frowned when I just stared back in confusion.
“Like.. the religion thing?”
She glared at me hard.
After a moment she set down the books in her arms with another huff and waved me over to a set of chairs in the corner.
“Come on, this is going to take a while to explain”

================

I smiled at Fina as she loaded me up with all her recommended books.
“Thanks for your help”
She shot me a mischievous grin back.
“Feels like you need all the help you can get”
We both laughed and smiled.
Reincarnation had been confusing but it lead into other topics.
Before long we’d been chatting for a few hours.
Fena knows a LOT about magic apparently.

We walked over to the second counter and she rang up my purchases.
My eyes flicked over the books titles, anxious to dive into them.
Out of nowhere, there was a loud ‘WHACK!’ sound and pain blossomed across the back of my head.
My brain felt like it was splitting in two, I almost blacked out from the pain.
Finally, after the pain had built up to unbearable levels, something snapped in my head.
I yelled out, falling backwards to the floor with a groan.

Slowly, like someone was pouring hot honey across my brain something was happening.
It hurt so much, lasting an eternity and only a moment at the same time.
..A flash of fangs, glinting with malice..
..A rat like blob of a man sniffing at me intently..
..Girls in see through pyjamas..
..A spindly Reginald..
..A grunting Darren..
When my brain decided to settled back into working order, the hot honey feeling seeming to cool down and fade, I let out a gasp for air in relief.
Slowly my focus turned back into the world going on around me.

“EDITH! I've told you before, stop hitting the customers!”
A gravelly woman’s voice grumbled for a few moments before answering.
“Bad Juju!”
Fena hissed at the back of her throat and glared.
I turned my head slightly to see who hit me.
It was a haggard old lady, she was standing there in a grey floral print dress that draped from her shoulders right down to the floor.
Just peeking out from underneath it were some fluffy pink slippers.
The lady, Edith apparently, pulled her shoulders up tightly and stuck her chin forward in challenge.
“She be trouble! Bad Juju. I be hittin’ her with me JuJu stick, as should”
She stated it in such a matter of fact tone, it felt like I should be agreeing with her logic.
She glared hard at Fena, it was pretty obvious she felt that Fena should apologise for interrupting her hard work or something.
Fena turned to me and shrugged sadly.
She mouthed a silent ‘sorry’ at me.
I offered her a wobbly smile and slowly pulled myself to a sitting position.
My mind was rebooting, the pain was going away too which helped.
“I think she scrambled my brain, I've got memories that..”
I trailed off, my face scrunching up a little.
These memories felt right, they were about prom.. They fit with what Sarah told me the other day..
Oh god.. What the hell was I thinking?!?

Fena’s nose crinkled up and she grimace.
I did too.
I can’t believe I just threw up..

==============

“Honestly, it’s okay. Nothing the Sib’s can’t clean up quickly”
Fena offered me a reassuring smile and I smiled back.
“Bah! No stomach to ya girl!”
We both frowned and glanced over at Edith.
She squinted back at us.
“Don’t be lookin’ at me like tha’, ya be useless girl! Can’t even take a little memory seal breaking without losing yourself..”
She trailed off into grumbles and waved her stick at me again.
I glanced at Fena in confusion.
She shrugged unhelpfully.
“What do you mean girl? I'm a guy..”
Edith glared at me like I was an idiot and waved her stick around again.
“Not be havin’ no time for ya young’ins an’ ya weird ways girl. Ya full of Bad Juju, come an’ I be helpin’ ya”
Without another word she turned around and started off towards the door behind the front counter.
I watched her for a moment then turned to Fena with a raised eyebrow.
She cringed a little and shook her head.
“Sorry, Edith’s a bit.. uh..”
My smile came back, much to Fena’s relief.
“She’s a bit crazy but somehow her hit unlocked memories in my head that the MPA sealed”
I rubbed my temple a little and groaned again.
All of the memories were back, kind of scrambled but there again.
I can kind of understand how scared Sarah must have been now.. Wow, vampires are assholes!
Fena stalled and ended up laughing nervously instead.
“That would be her Juju stick”
I looked at her sharply, the question on my lips but she continued first.
“Edith was a shaman a while ago. Her and her brothers are known as the Sib’s by most magic users around here.. to me, she’s more of a pain in the ass. Always uses Juju as an excuse to hit people, even when it isn't needed.”
We both shared a laugh and relaxed a little.

My shoulders tensed.
I spun around on the spot and caught Edith’s ‘Juju stick’ in the palm of my hand.
It hurt but it would have hurt a lot more if she had managed to hit my head again.
Seconds after catching it I let out a gasp and dropped the stick, my hand was smoking.
Fena rushed to a nearby desk and grabbed a bottle of water to pour over it.

I gripped my wrist with my other hand and winced, for some reason the burn didn't hurt as much as the sting from the sticks initial hit had.
“Ba! Ya truly be useless girl, fire ain't a right’un for ya!”
I blinked my eyes a few times and looked at her in confusion.
One of the older men at the counter slowly moved his arm up and gestured down toward my shoes.
“Ah” he intoned wisely.
I glanced down and jumped in shock, quickly scuffed my shoe on the floor to put the flame out.
Edith smirked at me, her sunken little eyes sharp and unsettling.
“Ya be no use to no-one with a trait like that girl!”
She waved her stick around and clipped me on the leg.
I went to yell out in pain again but a glance down stalled me into a choked silence.
My other shoe was on fire this time.
“Me Juju stick be showing yer’ nature girl. Ya be fire! Full of bad Juju and Fire.”
Edith huffed and hobbled away grumbling to herself.
“Back tomorrow. I be settin’ ya right on ya lines or else’n”
I gaped at her as she moved back behind the first counter.
She patted the old man who’d spoken on the shoulder and continued on through the door behind them.

Slowly I turned back to Fina who was trying to hide her smile.
Eventually I processed what had just happened and sputtered a little.
“Did she just?”
Fina nodded, grinning at me.
“Looks like she’s taken an interest in you Al.”
She shuffled her feet uncomfortably.
“Come by tomorrow, I'm sure she can help. She’s..”
I cut in, feeling the humour, as I finally got an idea of what was going on.
“Like Yoda in a floral nighty?”
Fina collapsed sideways into a chair laughing.
To my surprise one of the old men at the counter rolled back and gave a withered belly laugh.
He slipped sideways off his chair with a thump but didn't stop laughing.
His brother on the other chair slowly lifted his head up curiously.
“Eh?” He bellowed, his eyebrows furrowed.
I joined Fina in laughing.

====================
====================

My first impression of the Sib’s was.. that they were weird.
Training from Edith was useful and really worth it.
I wouldn't be the mage I am today without her help.
She-..
Huh?.. again? Why.. my.. my head..
I was thinking about Alice.. not Fena.. why am I.. what..
Sarah.. help..

====================
====================

I sniffed hard and pulled my pillow closer to my chest.
There were some bump sounds from over in the corner, eventually Sarah rapped out a demand.
I hesitated for a moment but inevitably got out of bed instead of rolling over and ignoring it.
Careful to not make too much noise and wake mum up I slid the grate out of the way.
Sarah looked back at me, her eyes oddly serious.
She nodded her head toward her bed.
I went to protest but she shook her head and pointed hard at it.
She stood up and moved back over to her bed.
With a puff of annoyance I slid my body through the grate’s hole
Sarah patted the bedding next to her.
Reluctantly I came over and sat down.

“Alis-“ she started but I cut her off with a hiss.
“I'm not Alice”
Sarah glared at me for interrupting.
“Le’s no’ do tha’ ‘gain”
I stared at her in awe.
Her voice had lost most of its usual cutesy tone and even some of her sloppy accenting.
I KNEW she was doing it on purpose!
“Wha’ ‘appened?”
My shoulders sagged.
“Dad took me to a Pastor last week.. a..about Alice”
She shifted closer to me and draped her arm around my waist.
I flinched hard but didn't pull back.
Girl’s can hug boys. Boy’s can’t hug girls.. Alice is bad.
“He.. he said th.. that me being Alice was bad.”

“Alis isn’ bad.”
Sarah’s nose crinkled up a little and she shook her head.
I pulled away from her and shook my head hard back at her.
“Alice is bad, Alice is gonna send me and you and mum to hell. Pastor Roberts said so..”
I trailed off and breathed hard for a while to calm down.
Sarah face shifted through a few different expressions, as she considered it all.
She settled on a sneaky smile, the same type she uses when she wants to pull off a twin swap.
“Alis is bad. So you can’ be Alis!”
My mouth dropped open.
I tried to shy away from her a little but she held tight to my waist.
Even Sarah wants me to be Al now.. weird, weird Al.
Tear’s started leaking out of the corner of my eyes.
I thought she liked me acting like her..
But she said Alice was bad and I can't be..

“hmm. ‘annah!”
I locked up and stared at her in confusion.
“What?”
She grinned at me and flicked my nose for being slow.
“You’re ‘annah, like on TV! ‘annah’s good, not bad like Alis”
Her logic was simplistic at best but.. She didn't hate me..
I smiled at her and she grinned back.
Carefully she tugged me sideways until we were settled into a cuddle together on her bed like usual.

For a while we just breathed, getting used to each other’s presence.
“We can’t tell anyone, they’ll call Pastor Roberts again”
Sarah nodded her head under my chin.
“We’ll have to make sure mum doesn't catch us too”
Sarah nodded hard on that one.
“You’ll have to call me Al most of the time”
She didn't look happy but nodded again.
“Hannah..” I muttered, shifting my head so my cheek was on the pillow better.
Sarah grinned in the dark and shifted closer to me.
“..I like Hannah. She sounds nice.”

================
================

We didn't last two days before Sarah asked me for her first ‘favour’.
Mum didn't really pay attention.
She was a bit out of it, because of Dad.
I don’t think she even noticed the changes in Sarah or me either..
Sarah grinned at me that day and said she needed a favour so she could go to the park.
She wanted to go play with the local girls in the park and.. and Hannah too.. with me.. kind of..
My smile stretched and I hugged her tightly.
She loved me, that’s all that mattered.

The logic of us making Hannah seems silly now but it was important to us at the time.
I-..
.. why am I explaining this?.. my head hurts.. wha..
I.. I know this feeling, why am I..
Oh..
..oh no..