Oh, Cheers
Part 1. Oh, Cheers- GO!
How'm I gonna get myself out of this one? I mean, it was kinda funny at first, but...
How do you exlpain to your parents you're on your school's all girl cheerleading squad when you're a guy?
Oh, Cheers
By Melanie Ezell
Part 1: GO!
So, in all honesty, maybe it wasn’t the most brilliant of ideas. But hey, when you’re a freshman with no friends, and seen as one of the biggest wimps in your school to boot, a stupid idea can sound like a pretty reasonable option to obtain a little popularity.
At least, until it backfires.
My name is Dane Phoenix. I’m fourteen, and one of the smallest kids in my class, due mostly to what the doctors found out is a pretty bad hormone imbalance. Apparently my system doesn’t produce testosterone like it should. I was cleared for hormones at my last appointment, and I start them on Monday, but until then…
I think I coulda avoided this entire mess if it wasn’t for that jerk Thomas Brody. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a total weakling- I’m a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, which is pretty good for a fourteen year old, and I’ve also been doing gymnastics for the past two years ‘cause it’s the closest thing I know of to pro Parkour training, and ever since I saw a video of kids doing Parkour online a few years back I’ve wanted to be able to do all that stuff too. Anyways, the point is I know how to move and how to defend myself, but let’s face it, when someone picks you up from behind by a fistful of hair, it’s kinda hard to fight back.
“Hey flamer, where ya goin’, huh? Girl’s rooms are the other way, or are you still pretendin’ to be a guy?”
“Flamer? Heh, good one.” While I seriously doubt he intended the pun, it had a kind of ironic humor to it.
“You makin’ fun of me you lil’ lezzie? Or are you a faggot? I can’t tell one way or th’ other.”
TB does stuff like this to me all the time, and has ever since the fifth grade, but it’s been getting a lot worse lately. The least he could do is show a little creativity. Not only that, but the angle he was holding my head at was really starting to hurt. “Come on, Brody, we’ve been in the same class for years, and you’ve been saying the exact same things since the seventh grade. Why don’t you just crawl back into your tidal pool and leave me alone?” A junior boy passing us in the hallway snickered when he overheard me, but all it got from TB was a jerk on my ponytail that pulled me completely off my feet. I couldn’t help screaming, but can you really blame me?
“C’mon, TB, let ‘im go.” My feet hit the ground again, and I managed to raise my head enough to see Patty standing there with her hands on her hips.
Okay, so I was perhaps being a TAD dramatic when I said I had no friends at all- everyone has a few people they ‘hang out’ with, after all- but Patty is really more like my sister than my friend. We’ve been close since we were babies, our moms were best friends when they were our age, and our families had even moved together to Brighton almost five years ago. Even back then, she had a tendency to get me out of- and into- lots of tight situations.
“Really, Thomas, I don’t think the teachers would like it if you were to get in trouble for fighting again. And with how much you’ve gotten in trouble already this year you’d get suspended for sure, maybe even expelled. Do you really want that?” Hah! I just wish I could see his face now!
“Whatever.” I could hear the contempt dripping from his words as he let go of my hair and pushed me forwards, sending me sprawling across the tile in the middle of the hallway. The sound of him stomping angrily away was interrupted by the bell indicating only five minutes left to get to class, and Patty bending down to help me up.
“Hey, just forget him. He’s just an asshole, that’s all.” I looked up at my friend. She was one of the tallest people in our class, and at five foot eight she towered over my five even frame. That, along with her athletic but not bulky build meant no one ever seemed to mess with her, and I was more than a little jealous since I’m one of those people that look like a stiff breeze could bowl them over, even though she complained a lot about guys being intimidated by her.
I sighed heavily and shrugged. “Yeah, I know. Thanks for the help, but I think we’d better hurry or we’ll be late for class.” I knew she was right, but after so long I was just so tired of him picking on me! I had to find a way to get him to stop, or at least get enough respect from the other guys they wouldn’t let him get by with it any more.
“Ooh, yeah, the cheerleading tryouts, I forgot! You’ll be there to support me, right?” Patty asked me as we passed the bulletin board outside our history class.
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Hmm, I wonder…..
===
“Good afternoon, and welcome to the Brighton High cheerleading tryouts!” Applause erupted around me as fifty girls started clapping for Lisa Gilbert, the Captain of our cheerleading squad. All eyes were on the tall raven-haired girl as she crossed the basketball court to the center line where the judge’s table was set, mic in hand.
Our school, while not the smallest place in the world, isn’t exactly what you’d call the most modern of places when it came to a number of policies, our cheerleaders being one of them. Guys aren’t even allowed to try out for mascot, they’re THAT anal about it. Patty squeezed my hand tightly; I was only here as here ‘immoral support’ after all. On the other hand…
I felt really lucky my cell phone had a camera on it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no perv, but what better way to get in good with the other guys than give them a bunch of pics of cute girls flashing their underwear for all the world to see? Felt bad about what I was planning to do, and I knew I’d be racked with guilt if I actually went through with it, but I’ve been getting picked on by Brody for so long, you gotta give me a break! ‘Sides, it’s not like I’m sneaking into the locker rooms or something and catching them naked.
Lisa coughed lightly into the mic, and the entire group seemed to fall silent instantly, their attention completely focused on her. “As you all know, about a third of our squad graduated at the end of last year. While we did do tryouts then to fill their old spots, an +ahem+ unfortunate accident cost us several more members over the summer.” Heh, accident indeed- the girls got drunk and drove one of their parents’ new Jaguar through a window- right into the front office of the police station. “We’re looking for ten new girls today, five for ‘B’ team and five backups in case someone else gets hurt. You may not get a position, but you’re all winners just for being here today.” Ooh, that was a bit too saccharine, doncha think? On that note, she sat down her mic and led a few of the other cheerleaders, apparently our judges for today, in a short demonstration of some of their basic cheers, and I took the opportunity to snap a few candid shots I might be able to use.
I tried taking pictures like I’d planned for a while, but it wasn’t long before I abandoned that idea in exchange for simply enjoying the performances. It was a stupid plan anyway, and the more I thought about it the more I realized I couldn’t do that to these girls. Besides, Patty would kill me if she found out- it just wasn’t worth it, but the show definitely was.
It’s embarrassing, but since I’m in gymnastics and Patty wanted to try out for cheerleading, I’d been drafted into helping her with practicing the more acrobatic elements of the cheers. ‘In return’, as she put it, she taught me all the hand motions and counts and things so she’d have someone to practice with, so I know a bit about the whole cheering thing and guess I can tell a good cheer from a bad one. Some of the girls trying out weren’t bad, though none of them were as good as Patty or the girls already on the squad, but some of them were absolutely terribly. One girl actually tripped over her own feet on her way out onto the court!
At the end of the tryouts I figured there were maybe seven girls, Patty included, good enough to make it on the squad. In the end I was sitting alone on the bleachers, waiting for Patty to finish up in the locker room.
“Hey!” I turned from watching the locker room to find a pair of ice blue eyes staring at me from under a mane of thick black hair. Lisa! “Did you want to try out?”
I just looked at her, dumbstruck.
“Come on, there’s still time left!” She then leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Besides, you can’t be as bad as some of the girls who already tried out, yikes!”
“No thanks, I’m not-“ I was cut off in mid sentence as she drug me from my seat to the middle of the tryout area and returned to her seat of power. What’s going on- no, wait. She can’t. Does she think I’m a girl?
“Okay, come on, show us what you got!”
I shrugged. I mean, what the hell, it’s not like I have a chance anyway, is it? Since I’d practiced with Patty, I decided to just do one of our school’s standard cheers.
‘BRIGH-ton HIGH we ARE the BEST,
WE play BET-ter THAN the REST.
And IF you’re WEAK then STAY a-WAY,
BRIGH-ton BRIGH-ton ALL the WAY!’
I finished up with a cartwheel and splits, just to have a little fun and show off a bit. That was probably a bad idea.
“Not bad, not bad! Looks like you already know some of our basic stuff, good deal! Hmm, just for fun let’s see you try this.” She pressed a couple of buttons on the boom box next to her, and after a short delay one of their cheer songs came on.
Heh, and I knew this one, too. I’m more into Punk and Ska myself, but Patty’s practices had taught me more than I ever wanted to know about pop music. I started in on the fourth beat with a big armed ‘V’ thing, to a high kick, to a funky Tae’bo punchy thing, and so on and so forth. Hey, so what if I don’t know all the techie terms! It was actually a lot of fun doing all this stuff with Patty, and alone was no different; by the time I finished I was sweating, but I also had a big grin plastered on my face, I knew.
That changed quickly when I heard the applause. I spun away from the cheerleaders to find almost every girl from the tryouts clapping for me, with Patty right at the front, whooping and hollering. God, I was so embarrassed!
I felt someone approach from behind me, then I heard Lisa begin to speak. “Well done, everyone! Thanks for your time, and I promise we’ll have the votes posted on the bulletin board at lunch tomorrow.” Then she turned and spoke to me! “What’s your name, sweetie?”
“D-d-dane P-phoenix.” The audience still had me pretty rattled, and why did she need my name? Oh god, what have I done?
“Thanks.” She turned quickly and returned to the table where I heard her discussing something with the other cheerleaders, then a few hasty notes being scribbled. Were they going to report me for being there during the tryouts or something?
I made my way towards the door as quickly as possible, and Patty met me there. “Well, well, little Dane wants to be a cheerleader?”
“Shut up! I’ll explain later.” Not that I had any intention of explaining, really. And on that bright note, we headed home.
===
School the next day started out pretty normally, and while I hadn’t quite forgotten about the incident with the tryouts the afternoon before, I was working really hard on it. It was only the third week of school, so classes were just starting to pick up, so I was working my way through the mid-week busywork when I heard a squeal and looked up to see Patty jumping out of her seat.
“The results are up!” She trilled as she dragged me out of my seat and towards a crowd of girls gathered around the lunchroom bulletin board where Miss Cole, the cheer coach and Algebras teacher- weird, huh?- was posting the list with all the formality possible when you’re surrounded by thirty screaming girls.
After a while the two of us finally managed to push our way through, finding ourselves almost pressed into the bulletin board by the mass of cheer psychos behind us. The list was arranged loosely worst to best, starting with the rather polite ‘Honorable Mentions’ and progressing down to the new squad members. So, let’s see where Patty placed!
‘Honorable Mentions’? Nope, not there, thank god!
‘Backups’? Not there either! That means…
Yes! There she is! “Hey, Patty, you made it, congratulations!”
I turned towards her, expecting her to begin some sort of happy cheer jig, but I was stopped dead by the look of shock on her face. “I’m not the only one, look again,” she said in a daze, staring at the list. It didn’t take long for me to find what she was talking about, and shortly thereafter I was wearing an expression similar to hers.
Like most, our school has a two-part cheer team. The first part, or ‘A squad’ as they are usually called, does all the big stunts and has all the best members on it, while ‘B squad’ is kinda like backup, fleshing out the routines and helping with the biggest of the formations. All of the positions the girls had been trying for were on ‘B squad’, with I guess the intention being to move the best of the established members up to ‘A’. But there on the list was a single name set aside from the others and in bolder, larger print. As my vision began to fade, those four words kept cycling before my eyes over and over in my head.
A SQUAD- DANA PHOENIX
===
“Ohmygod, is she okay?”
“Just shock I think, or probably just a Drama Queen.”
“D? D! Wake up!”
“Wait, that’s the Dana that make ‘A’? But she’s so young!”
I pried my eyes open to see Patty leaning over me with a concerned expression, and Miss Cole right behind her.
“I think ‘e’s coming ‘round,” I saw Patty mumble as her face brightened a bit.
“God, I’d kill to get on ‘A’ squad.”
“Well, now’s your chance, if you’re quick about it.”
“Shelby!”
“Girls, down! Are you alright, sweetie?”
I tried to lift my head, and nearly passed out again. Ouch. “What happened?”
Patty coughed. “You were looking at the list and I guess when you saw your name…”
Oh. Yeah. Shit. I closed my eyes for a moment to try and calm my stomach, but was shaken by Patty the instant my lids met. “Hey, ease up, wouldja? I ain’t dead you know.”
She laughed at that. “Yep, you’ll be fine. I did try to catch you when you fell, but everyone panicked and I just couldn’t. You got a pretty nice bump on your head, but those pink streaks hide it pretty well.”
“They’re not pink, they’re red.”
“Not any more.”
I just sighed. Stupid cheap hair dye. “well, sor-ry, I’ll redo them when I get home.”
“Oh, don’t do that!” A voice I recognized as Lisa’s butted in. “The pink will look like SO cute with your new uniform!” Uniform- right. Double shit.
“Uh, Lisa, about that-“ I started, but she quickly cut me off.
“Oh, I know the tryouts were just for ‘B squad’, but after your like totally perfect performance of our cheers,” —drat Patty and her constant practicing!- “well, even the other girls, and Coach Cole too, agreed you were like ‘A squad’ all the way! Oh, please say yes!”
O-kay. Moment of truth, here. “Sorry, but I’m not a giRFGHTG!”
“She’s not really all back yet. Of course she’ll do it.” Patty, how could you? I tried to speak again, but she still hadn’t taken her hand off my mouth, and when she kicked me I yelped and gave up. “Oops! You poor dear, here, let’s go to the nurse’s office and get you fixed up. I’ll get our uniforms after school, ‘kay Lisa?”
“Uh, yeah, great! See you then!” A quick hug from Lisa later, and I was being dragged down the hallway by Patty. We stopped in an alcove outside a classroom, and when I finally got out of her grip I was mad as hell!
“Patty, tell me, just what the hell do you think you’re doing? I can’t be a cheerleader, I’m not a girl! Or did you forget that little tidbit, like in second grade when you tried to talk Joey Reymond into kissing me?”
“You’re still mad about that?”
“YES! Not only that, but what about Brody, huh? He’ll just love this, his favorite target trying out for the cheer team. What little respect I get from the guys’ll be gone, too!”
“Oh, give it up, Dane. You wanna know something?” She didn’t wait for my answer before she continued. “Most of the kids in school think you’re a girl already! Don’t ask me why, with the way you dress. Fuck, most of the kids who even know you exist think you’re either a tomboy or a lesbian! Do you have any idea how many times Sarah Blackwell has asked me to dump you and go out with her?” I snorted- Sarah acted about as bad as TB, but with marginally less facial hair. Then I thought about what she’d said- now I was really pissed.
“Well, if you know all this then why don’t you try to correct them? You’re supposed to be my best friend! Anyways, starting Monday things’re gonna change, I’ll start growing and nobody’ll think I’m a girl then!” Great, now I was crying, too!
Patty’s slap, while not hard, brought me back out of my self pity and into current events, and she seemed just as mad as me. “I have tried, don’t you DARE think AI haven’t! It’s stunts like what you pulled yesterday that make it so hard, though! And your hair, I mean, oh my GOD, what were you thinking! It is like REALLY pink now- heck, with that hair you look even girlier than me, and it just ain’t fair!”
Just fan-freakin’-tastic, now she’s crying too! One thing did come of her speech, though, and that was that I calmed down- a lot. Was she really jealous of me? Well, as far as I was concerned I’d trade her for height and muscles any day. I guess we both have our problems, huh?
If there’s one thing I can’t stand to see it’s Patty crying. Even when we were little I’d do anything to make her stop, and not much had changed there, but when I moved over to try to hug her and let her know things were okay, she pushed me away. I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything different though, considering the exchange.
“Patty… look, I’m sorry, okay?” No response. “Fine! It’s just, like, why did you tell them I’d be a cheerleader? Do you have any idea how much trouble this is gonna get me in?”
She sniffled for a moment, shuffled nervously, then finally after what seemed forever she threw her arms around me, the tears streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry,” she croaked. “I just thought, well, since I was doin’ it it’d be fun if we both did it. And, to be honest,” she stepped away and smiled at me sheepishly, “I think you’d look like really cute in the skirt.”
“Pssh, whatever.” I just rolled my eyes- that sounded a lot more like the Patty I know. I gave her another hug, all forgiven if not forgot, and we headed out for class just as the last bell started to ring.
===
“Hey! HEY! Speedy Gonzalez, wait up!” I turned around just in time to catch Patty hurling around the corner narrowly avoiding the trophy case, two garment bags in hand along with her book bag and purse. The end result was an odd, lumbering shuffle where the bags all seemed to be in competition to see who could hit the ground first. I quickly made my way through the crush of homebound students to try and help her, and with a relieved huff she handed off one of the garment bags to me. Jeez, no wonder she was shuffling, these things weigh a ton!
“Whoa, hey, what’s in this things, Solomon’s Crown? No, wait, maybe it’s a boulder! An anchor?”
“Oh, ha ha ha, real funny, D. Come on, its your new uniform.” I stopped in my tracks and just stared at her dumbly. “Oops- sorry, THIS is your bag; that’s mine.” We switched garment bags, and if anything this bag was heavier than the first!
“God, Patty, how can such a skimpy outfit weigh so much?”
“Well, actually there’s a bit more than just the basic outfit in there.” She held up her hand and started counting off things on her fingers. “There’s the game outfit, the winter lycra, the competition outfit, the practice clothes, the shoes…”
“Wait wait wait wait wait. Practice clothes?”
She shrugged. “Sure, it makes sure we look like a team even when we’re off the field.” Oh, okay, I guess that makes sense. What about…
“How did they know what size to give me?” I started looking all over the bag for a size marker or something, but couldn’t seem to find one.
“Oh, are you worried your skirt won’t be short enough or something?”
“Hey! I didn’t want to do this, and still don’t- I’m only going along with it for the moment so I can prove to you tomorrow I can’t pull it off. Maybe if you see my trying to coordinate with others you’ll see how much I really suck.” I’ve never really been one for ‘school spirit’, can you tell?
“Pssh, whatever.” She just waved my tirade off with one of those ‘you’ll see’ expressions she knows I hate.
We got to the end of my street and split up, Patty heading on down Hazel to her own place just a little further away. As I made my way up the stairs of our apartment complex it occurred to me- what are my parents gonna say if- no, make that WHEN- they find out? Luckily they were both gone when I got in, more than likely still at work, so I made my way straight to my room to hide things as quickly as possible.
And yet I couldn’t help it. Call it morbid curiosity, but after dinner I locked my door and pulled out the garment bag again. Dumping the entire contents on my bed, I went about looking through all my new girly bits.
-One ‘Game uniform’, blue with white stripes and things. The mandatory ultra-short pleated skirt didn’t look like it’d do much to cover the +sigh+ matching bloomers.
-One ‘competition uniform’, blue with red and white accents, how patriotic. No pleated skirt on this one just slits on both sides almost up to the waits, guaranteeing the red bloomers would be on display at all times.
-A white lycra leotard thingy or whatever it’s called with tights. I thought I’d seen the girls wear these under the uniforms in cold weather, though they didn’t look all that warm.
-One pair plain white tennis shoes. What the hell are Aesics? Whatever, at least they aren’t all that girly, though the pom-pom socks take care of that pretty well.
-Pom poms. Huh, I thought they kept these at school? Guess not.
-A gym bag with the school logo on one side? Well, that’s not too bad. Oh, the other side says ‘cheeraholic’ in pink script. Joy.
-My. God. They CAN’T expect us to practice in this, can they? I mean, these shorts are smaller than my boxers- what am I supposed to do, go commando? Gross!
A note at the bottom of the bag caught my attention as I looked over my new girly bits. The cheer coach was, it seemed, a good deal more interested in the personal touch than some teachers I’d had. The Xeroxed letter was still less than an ideal welcome, though at least her signature was the real deal.
DEAR MISS PHOENIX,
FIRST OFF, I WOULD LIKE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON MAKING OUR SQUAD. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO A WONDERFUL YEAR WITH YOU, AND THE ENTIRE SQUAD. CHEERLEADING IS ALL ABOUT TEAMWORK, AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY SPENDING TIME WITH OTHER GIRLS YOUR AGE IN AN ACTIVITY THAT WILL MAKE YOU FRIENDS FOR YEARS TO COME.
XOXO,
Juanita Cole
Hold up, ‘XOXO’? What teacher signs a letter to a student ‘XOXO’, anyways? It was obviously a form letter, as everything save ‘my’ name was photocopied, but still, that doesn’t change exactly what it told me.
I was now the not so proud bearer-to-be of these oh so fashionable cheerleader outfits, urgh.
===
I was just finishing up my breakfast and about ready to head out the next morning when someone started knocking on the apartment door. “Sweetie,” my mom called from the bathroom down the hall, “can you get that?”
“Sure, Mom.” I hollered back as I swung the door wide to reveal Patty, bright eyed and bouncing with energy, in a denim skirt and old ‘Boondocks’ tee. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Just thought I’d stop by to make sure you didn’t forget your stuff.” I turned a confused look on her before gazing back at my school bag, already set beside the door. “Not that stuff! God, you’re so blonde sometimes,” she huffed exasperatedly before leaning close and whispering “your cheer stuff, remember?” All the blood seemed to drain from my body, and I let out a small “Eep” a second later when Mom entered the room.
“Oh, hey Patty, stopping by to walk with Dane today? Well that’s nice of you! Dane, what’s the matter, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I took a gulp of the juice still in my hand before I answered. “Fine, Mom, just fine.”
“Well, okay… I’m off to work, don’t forget to lock up on your way out! Bye kids.” And with a final hug and a tug on the door, my mom was gone, off for another day of cutting hair or doing makeup or whatever it was she did at that salon anyways. She popped back in quickly to retrieve the bag she’d forgotten, though, and nearly gave me a heart attack when she did. “By the way, honey, come to the salon after hours and I’ll see what I can do about that godawful dye. Patty, you come by, too, and your mom can give you a trim while we’re at it.”
“Kay, Miss P, thanks.” A quick kiss on my cheek and she was off again. Once we were sure she was really gone, Patty turned to me and with a clap of her hands said “All right, now, let’s get that cheer bag ready.”
With way more excitement than I was feeling, she rushed me off to my room and began tossing my cheer kit together. She seemed to be in better spirits this morning at least, but I still wanted to strangle her when she giggled and called me. “Um, D?”
“Yeah?” I really didn’t like that giggle, or the look she was giving me now.
“Uh, I was just wondering, um… what kind of underwear are you wearing?”
“Boxers, why?” What did it matter what kind of underwear I was- oh, shit, I thought as where she was going hit me like a ton of bricks. “No, nononono, nononono, NO!”
“Oh, come on, D. You’ll have to use the girl’s locker room, and do you really want to try and explain boxers to the other girls?”
“I think I’ll have a lot harder time explaining what’s IN the boxers, thank you very much miss Bad Idea of the Year.”
“Well, with how little’s there it ain’t like they’re gonna notice!”
Ouch.
“Oh, God. D, I mean Dane, hey, I’m sorry, okay? It’s just, I mean, well, it won’t be the first time you’ve worn them either.”
“And if you want me to get over the Joey Reymond thing, then I think YOU need to stop bringing it up!” Back in second grade Patty and I made a bet about whether or not she could convince our new class I was a girl. I lost the bet- Joey lost three teeth. “Besides, this is different, I’m old enough to know better and I’m old enough the teachers aren’t gonna think it’s funny either.” Dammit, I hate crying, but I just can’t seem to stop it lately. Well, starting Monday, no more crying for me again, ever.
“Hey, I’m just trying to help.” She held up a brand new package of panties- I wasn’t surprised to see they were a thong style, either- and waved them enticingly at me, like it was some kind of treat.
===
“I hate you.”
“Yeah, let’s hear you say that when your birthday comes around.”
After much begging and cajoling, I wound up wearing a +blush+ thong to school. At least I won the battle over the bra with the excuse that it would show through my tee, but the look on Patty’s face told me that was only a temporary victory. Still, I’ll take what I can get.
“Quit picking at it, that’s disgusting.”
“Hey, you’re used to it!” Not having a panty line didn’t seem like much comfort in the face of The Eternal Wedgie. “Wasn’t it uncomfortable to you your first time?”
“Nah, if I don’t want a panty line I just go Commando.”
“Patty!”
“Just kidding, sheesh.”
At least I don’t have to worry about regular Gym. After noticing the beginning of my +ahem+ ‘problems’ the doctor gave me a school excuse for skipping gym, though a fat lotta good that was gonna do me now.
Nobody caught on all day, and while the quote unquote ‘unique’ feeling of the underpants kept me from forgetting what I was wearing, by the end of the day I wasn’t quite as uncomfortable as this morning, though I was contemplating replacing all my jeans with cotton slacks- that denim can CHAFE. Patty caught me before I managed to escape to the safety of the outside world, and after retrieving our kit bags from her locker drug me kicking and screaming- well, bitterly complaining anyways- to the gym.
The changing rooms- now THAT was interesting. Patty rejected my idea of stopping off in the toilet and changing on the way, and I guess she had a point anyways- it’d more than likely get me in more trouble than it was worth, if I was caught in there dressed as a girl. No real good could come of it. I just kept my head down and went straight for the stalls, changing as quickly as possible into the practice shorts and tank so lovingly furnished by the school, as well as the sports bra Patty insisted I take ‘for the sake of decency’. I was putting my hair up in a ponytail again as I headed back out when I heard Patty say something about “That time of the month” to one of the other girls, and decided I’d REALLY rather not know.
Seeing where the other dressed girls were already congregating, I headed on over to wait for whatever was next. +Damn, these outfits are tiny.+ Any time one of us left the vertical it was almost guaranteed some form or undergarment was gonna be on display (unless the girl in question subscribed to the Patty School of Freakiness, but still…) At least the clothes were comfortable and easy to move in besides the underwear, and I guess that’s the important part.
“All right girls, are you ready for some cheering?” Twenty-four girls seemed to start yelling and whistling at once as Miss Cole came out from the athletics office at the end of the court flanked by Lisa and another girl with mousy brown hair who I couldn’t place. “Alright, quiet down. First of all, thank you all for coming today, and for joining our group. We’re lucky to have every one of you, and I can honestly say I think we have what is quite possibly our best cheer team ever in this room right now.” Another round of cheers erupted for what I personally considered quite possibly the WORST introductions she coulda given. I mean, clichéd much? Regardless, she had to wait for the applause to fade before she could continue. “Easy, easy. Save it for practice! Now, so we can get started, I’ll introduce our captains. For first or ‘A’ squad, Lisa Gilbert, and for second or ‘B’ squad, Nancy Sullivan.” All the girls clapped it seems, but I couldn’t help the snort that erupted, spurned on by the images in my mind, and when I looked over and saw Patty frantically trying to control herself it all fell apart.
A shrill blast of a whistle brought me to my senses and almost to attention, and I found Miss Cole in front of me with a stern expression on her face. “And what is so funny, young lady?” She asked as she looked down at me. I couldn’t resist the straight line, but can you really blame me? I mean honestly.
“Oh, I’m-the-very-model-of-a-modern-major-general…” Patty took the next line, and we bounced back and forth for a bit before dissolving into giggles again. I was just lying there, laughing my- oh, shit. I was laughing in a teacher’s face, wasn’t I?
I glanced up nervously, trying to gauge her actions to see whether I should apologize or run, but was surprised to see a small smile on her face as I quickly straightened my shorts and tank. “+ahem+ Sorry ‘bout that Ma’am.”
“What’s your name, young lady?”
I cleared my throat again, trying to be calm. Patty bursting into a giggle fit again didn’t help. “Uh, Phoenix, Ma’am.”
She scanned down her list, and her smile soon widened. “Dana Phoenix?” I winced, but nodded. “Congratulations on making ‘A’ Squad, your tryout must have been quite impressive.” I just blushed. “Now, onto business.”
For the first half hour we went over some of the warm-ups and more basic cheers that the group would do as a whole. Then for the last half we split into our separate squads. Until now Patty hadn’t left my side, but since I was ‘A’ and she was ‘B’ we had to go to opposite sides of the court. It really wasn’t that hard, the moves repeated a lot and the gymnastics was all pretty basic compared to what I was doing in my other gymnastics class. Don’t get me wrong, though; the moves may have been easy to learn, but they made for quite a workout! By the time we left I was glad we’d packed a towel and a change of…under…wear…
That sneak Patty! She knew I’d use the stalls and STILL talked me into wearing these to school! Oh, well, what’s done is done, and at least our school went for a little decency with the showers, having individual booths and curtains, so I wouldn’t have to be naked in front of anyone.
Apparently not all the girls were as concerned with decency as I was, though. I was headed for the showers wrapped in my oversized towel- around the chest, of course, to hide my deficiencies- but felt someone grab it as I passed. I almost lost it, just catching it before my secret was discovered.
But not before my other one was revealed.
“Hey, nice tits!”
“Those’ll look real cute when you grow up a bit more!”
I wrapped the towel around myself again and ran into the nearest shower stall. That’s why I was excused from boy’s gym, after all, and what tipped off the doctors to my little problem. The flesh on my chest hadn’t grown all that much, but my nipples were definitely a bit on the feminine side, and there was enough growth there to make them stand out, no pun intended. I guess it at least gave me some credibility in here, but I still didn’t like the idea of the whole world seeing them! I rushed my shower and got changed into my fresh clothes as quickly as possible, managing to catch Patty outside, apparently trying to explain to Lisa and Nancy who Gilbert and Sullivan were. “You ready to go, Pat?”
“Yeah, sure. We should get to the salon just in time for closing if we hurry up.”
“Great job out there today, Dana! I knew it was a good idea to put you right on ‘A’ Squad, you’re a natural!” Nancy just gave me a smoldering look- what, did I take her place or something? “Next practice is Wednesday, can’t wait to see what you can do then!”
“Wednesday, got it. See ya then.”
We managed to extricate ourselves from the rest of the rabble of cheer crazies and get on our way, and we made it downtown to the salon without a hitch, if a bit later than we were supposed to be, since I had to talk to Patty about the whole underwear thing.
“I should’ve known it was a setup this morning, but you got me well and good.”
“What’re you talking about?”
“You knew there were booths to change in, but you STILL talked me into wearing those stupid panties to school. I should’ve realized when you packed an extra pair, wait, why couldn’t we have at least packed my boxers for afterwards?”
“Sorry, I just figured it’d be best if you were used to them by the time practice rolled around. I mean, you know how you were this morning, it would have been like WAY worse if you’d been that uncomfortable through practice, no?”
“Well, I guess, but still. Speaking of which, I still don’t know how they got my sizes for these clothes.”
“Oh, I helped with that,” she said happily. “I know what size you wear in guy’s, and so I just kinda converted that to girl’s sizes. You looked cute, by the way.” Great.
I know I was blushing, and before I had a chance for a retort we were at the salon. We walked in and took our normal seats near the magazine stand to wait for our moms.
The salon? Well, it’s this place called ‘The Cutting Edge’, like the movie. Our moms had huge crushes on D.B. Sweeney back in the day from what I’ve heard, so when they opened the place they used the movie for inspiration. It’s pretty popular, everything inside is decorated in an ice skating theme, complete with a movie poster signed by the stars! What can I say, our moms are kinda geeks, but pretty cool.
“Hey, kids! What took ya so long, did the Zoo mistake you for excapees again?”
“Ha, ahaha, ahaha. Real funny, Mom. No, I had cheer practice, and Dane stayed to watch me.”
Miss Lee gave me an appraising look before simply turning back to her sweeping. Then again, Patty coulda probably told her I’d been changed into an alien mutant and the only reaction I’d get is a notice not to get slime on the carpet.
“Dane?”
“I’m in here, Mom!” Like me and Patty, our moms had been best friends since they were kids. With their matching blonde locks and similar builds and heights they were often mistaken for sisters. I think sometimes it embarrasses Patty that at fourteen she’s taller than her mom and takes after her dad’s side of the family while, well, let’s say I’m obviously my mom’s child.
“I just finished my last appointment, come on back and I’ll see what I can do,” she called back as she started getting a seat prepared for me.
“Nothing too drastic, Mom, please? I know it was stupid to use the cheap dye…”
“I think the fact it gave you pink streaks is proof enough of that, honey.”
“I know, I know. Still, I was wanting to try some like really big spikes or something this year at Halloween, so I don’t wanna cut it.”
“Well, let’s see, I’ll trim the dead ends once I’ve figured out what I’m gonna do, but I’ll try to leave the length,” she said as she tussled my hair a bit. “Just leave it to your ole’ Mum, she’ll do ya right.” Her British accent was horrible, but still funny. I settled in and let her get to work.
I don’t know how much later it was when I awoke, but the instant my eyes opened I let out a groan. “Not again.” My mom has a bad habit- she likes to play practical jokes on anyone who falls asleep in her chair. Nothing too bad, but it was ‘cause of this same situation that I had two earrings in each ear, and over the summer she’d even given me a full French manicure once. “Oh, god.” Acrylics. Today just wasn’t my lucky day. “Mom, you didn’t! I have school, you know!”
“Oh, come on, it ain’t like you’ve never had’em before, and I did the same to your dad last February.” Heh, yeah, that’d been pretty funny. “Besides, blame Patty, it was her idea.”
“Mrs. Phoenix!”
“Joanne! Telling on my daughter, why I never thought.”
“Besides, she said the girls on the cheer team would think it was cute.” I gave Patty as mean a look as I could, but all she did was smile. “Come on, take a look at your hair and tell me what you think.” So, I got up to take a look.
Jeezus! And I thought the nails were bad! Okay, yeah, my hair was less pink. But, that’s only ‘cause the pink had been balanced out with some blonde and red highlights and streaks that make me look even more girly. Well, the overall affect was pretty cool, like something you’d see on like a famous musician or something, but it didn’t really look any more boyish than it had before.
“Sorry,” I heard Mom say from behind me, “but it was the best I could do. That dye you got was really cheap,” well, yeah, I got it from a costume shop, “but I wanted to damage your hair as little as possible, and if I’d done a bleach job it would have fried everything. As it is, I just added some darker colors in to help balance it out a bit with your platinum blonde without making it look all one color, which I know you hate. It’s this, or a razor down to the skin, your choice.” Well, when put that way, this wasn’t bad. She started playing with my hair, and I just leaned back into her hand and kinda purred a bit. I love having my hair played with- another good reason not to get it cut. ‘Course, that’s also one of the reasons I always fall asleep when I’m here- it’s relaxing, and my mom knows just how I like my scalp rubbed to send me out. I think she’s done it on purpose a couple of times, but I wouldn’t swear to it.
“I guess I can live with this, but Mom, you know how much I hate it when you do things like this,” I chastised her, waving my hands at her.
“Hey, you’re the one who keeps falling asleep!” Touché “If it makes you feel better Patty decided to get streaks to match yours.” Sure enough, her brunette hair was tempered by a range of blonde and auburn accents.
“It looked cool, so I thought I’d try it.” Joy.
===
Gah! Stupid alarm! Why’s it going off now? It’s Satur- Shit! Gymnastics!
No time for a shower this morning; besides, what good’s a shower right before I go do exercises, anyways?
Crap, and I’m still wearing that stupid thong, too. In all the excitement with Dad over my hair and nails last night I just kinda forgot about it. No, he wasn’t mad, after all, he’s used to Mom’s tricks by now, having been the target of a few of them himself. No, he thought it was funny as hell! I bet if I told ‘em about the cheerleading thing they’d just laugh at that too, and to be honest I’m not sure how that makes me feel. Ugh, gotta shake those thoughts away. Screw it, if I’m gonna have to wear ‘em I may as well get used to ‘em. I may be wearing a thong but at least it’ll be boy’s clothes on top.
I managed to get to the studio just in time to change out and get to line. “Glad you could make it,” Mr. Shaw, my instructor, said as I huffed and wheezed. It wasn’t long after that before we were warmed up and on our way. Despite only being a third year gymnastics student I was seeded pretty high in our local rankings, thanks to my natural ability I guess, plus I practiced some of the more traditional Parkour moves on the street a lot so I could take a fall well and get right back up and try again. From what Mr. Shaw has told me I’d be ranked even higher if it weren’t for my problems remembering all the terminology. What can I say, I learn by seeing and doing, and usually think in terms of ‘floaty hand thing’ or ‘twisty kick jump’ better than all that technical mumbo jumbo. It’s the same with my mom’s Sunday morning yoga; I can do all the moves, but the names just escape me.
We got a good hour and a half of practice in before a tweet on Mr. Shaw’s whistle brought us all back to line. “Great work again, kids. You’ve really impressed me this past year with how much you’ve grown- in fact, you’ve impressed me so much I thought I’d do something our small club has never done before. How would ya’ll like to try for state?”
State! Usually only the biggest clubs can even afford the entrance fees, little lone complete the ladder. All the others seemed to be enthused, so why not? “Heh, since it seems to sit well with you lot I’d like to introduce the sponsor of this opportunity, Miss Simone Gilbert!” An older lady bearing a striking resemblance to Lisa came out, wearing a stunning mauve skirt suit.
“Thank you, Mister Shaw, and thank you all for doing such wonderful work. I’ve been keeping tabs on this organization for some time now, but I finally think you’ve got a chance at winning this!” Over the next half hour we sat through a rather boring speech concerning expectations of our group and so on. Turns out this lady actually was Lisa’s mom, go figure. My mind drifted until I heard someone calling my name. Or rather, the name the cheerleaders had given me. “Dana Phoenix?” The girls in all their gymnastics outfits made me stick out like a sore thumb in my baggy tee and gym shorts, and their giggling as I raised my hand brought a cold stare from Mrs. Gilbert. “My daughter told me you made the cheerleading ‘A’ Squad, and I recognized the name. I think I’ll be watching you ESPECIALLY closely,” she said, and I could swear she winked at me as she headed out!
Well, thanks to that little announcement I got questions for the next few minutes concerning the cheerleading team from the younger girls and boys surrounding me, while the older ones went off to talk about something or another. I heard one of them ask the question, “isn’t Brighton’s cheer team all girls?” But I managed to avoid their conversation after that, and in the slew of questions from the youngers I soon forgot about it. After twenty questions was over, I cleaned up a bit and headed to the dojo next door to meet up with Patty. We’d both gotten black belts in basic Tae Kwon Do together, and when I decided to jump ship she kept up with the martial arts. It worked out well for us, since outside of class we often would practice together and cross train. She was doing Karate at the moment, and had talked her sensei into letting me test, so I officially had a yellow belt in that versus her purple. Just ‘cause I’m small don’t mean I’m defenseless, after all.
“How were things in the land of splits and leotards today?”
“Better than the Wide World of Kicks to the Face, I’m sure.”
“I think that point’s mine,” she said as she marked it in the air. “That makes the score for this week seven to four, my win.”
“It’s six to four, and since you’re always the one who calls the points it ain’t fair anyways.”
“Whatever, dweeb. You alright, you look a little tired.” I sighed, and filled her in on Mrs. Gilberts’s visit. “Hehe, you sure do know how to pick ‘em, D, that’s for sure.”
We started home from lessons, but made a detour for the new climbing wall on the way. After a couple of climbs apiece we stopped by BK before calling it a day. By that time we were pretty ripe anyways, and since today was my laundry day I needed to get home!
===
The better part of the next week was pretty boring for the most part. Oh, the pharmacy mixed up my meds and ordered the wrong thing, so it’ll be ANOTHER week before I start my testosterone, grr! I finally managed a second-story backflip on Monday, that was well scary, but we had to vacate the old abandoned factory before I could try again ‘cause the BMXers showed up. Even Wednesday’s cheer practice went without much fuss, though I did refuse to wear the panties to school- once was enough, thank you! Unfortunately, a phone call Thursday night broke things up quite nicely +sigh+.
“Dane, can you get that?” My dad called from his computer. My dad’s an electrical engineer for a local construction company, but even when he’s home he does a lot of private projects on his comp, so this wasn’t an unusual request.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Dana!” Would I ever be able to keep from wincing when I hear that? “It’s me, Lisa!”
“Oh, hi, Lisa. Um, how did you get my home number?”
She giggled. “From Patty, of course, silly. I just wanted to let you know that me and the other girls have a surprise for you tomorrow, so don’t miss practice.”
This…isn’t good. “Lisa, what kind of surprise?”
“You’ll see tomorrow! Bye!” And with a click she was gone, and I was left wondering when my life became such a comedy of errors.
===
And whaddayaknow, Patty had a doctor’s appointment this morning, so I was stuck carrying my own gym bag to school. I’d managed to drape my jacket over the bag to hide the logos, but do you really think that with my luck I’d be able to get through unscathed? Well, the hand that grabbed my bag and took it away probably answers that question.
“Ooh, what’s this, the little faggot wants to be a cheerleader. Tell me, where’d you get this, that dyke friend of yours?”
Okay, it’s one thing to pick on me, quite another to pick on someone I care for. I’m not sure exactly what I did, but a moment later TB was on the floor holding his jaw, and my bag was in my hand again. Not wanting to miss the opportunity I decided to rub a little salt in the wound. “Don’t ever, and I mean EVER, talk about my sister. And by the way, I AM a cheerleader!” With that I spun on my heel and walked away. Hold the phone, did I just admit I was a cheerleader? To Thomas Brody of all people? Yes, and yes. Oh crap.
A couple of whistles and a “You go girl!” later I was face to face with Lisa. First Thomas and now Lisa, this day just gets better and better, not. “Nice display of the girl power back there!” she said, giving me a quick hug. “Looks like he’s finally gotten what’s been coming for a while. Oops, I’m gonna be late for class, see ya at practice!” Does she ever stop long enough to give someone else a chance to talk? I don’t think I’ve gotten in a complete sentence since meeting her. I just managed to catch Patty in time to drop my bag off in her locker before we had to head for history, but it seemed news of my little tiff with Brody had reached her before me, thanks to the gossip hotline that is high school girls.
“Damn, ‘girl’,” she emphasized with a bit of a smirk, “when you go for a statement, you like REALLY go for it! What’d he do, grab your ass or something?” Ah, so the cause hadn’t reached her yet at least, which was good. Last thing I needed was for her to commit murder today. I did punch her in the arm for the ass comment, though.
“Nah, just my cheer kit.”
“Jerk.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, maybe now he’ll leave you alone a bit.”
I didn’t even let the optimism have a chance before squashing it. “Maybe. Hey, didn’t you have a doctor’s appointment this morning?”
“It was cancelled, ‘cause-“
“Girls, quiet!” Oh, yeah, history class! I’d completely forgotten about it until Mr. Swallows’ comment. Guess we were a bit occupied on the way in.
“Sir, I’m not a-“
“Do you want to visit the principal today?” He yelled at me vehemently. Geez, what was his problem? Just ‘cause we never paid attention in class, and passed notes all the time, and- wait. I just shook my head. “Then shut up and pay attention!” I almost giggled at the angry look on his ill proportioned face, but caught it just in time.
The rest of school was pretty standard, though lunch did bring a few kids over to talk who I guess had seen or heard about what I’d done that morning. I wasn’t complaining, as it kept the girls from trying to drag me and Patty to the cheer table like they’d been attempting for the past week.
Finally, the hour of doom was upon us, and as the day’s final bell tolled its last, I began the walk to cheer practice. For the most part practice was normal- well, for being a boy doing cheerleading in an all girl squad. There was the announcement that next Friday’s practice was being moved to before school on Monday since we had a pep rally on Friday, but by now the idea of being a cheerleader was starting to be a bit less agonizing, so I didn’t sweat it that much. Besides, after this morning everyone’d probably know already by then anyways.
===
“Uh, guys, where are my clothes?” I asked as I returned from my shower wrapped in my towel. I’d taken my clothes with me to the shower to prevent anything similar to last Friday’s incident, only to find they were missing when I climbed out.
“Oh, those rags you had on? We threw ‘em away.”
“What!”
“Yeah, you’re a cheerleader now, you should be dressing better than that.” Oh, no!
“And boxers! I mean, yeah I own a couple of pairs too, but just for sleeping in not wearing full time!”
Nancy, Lisa, and a girl named Shelby from ‘A’ Squad all had me cornered! What ‘m I supposed to do now?
“Here, put these on.” I reached out nervously to take the proffered plastic shopping bag and cautiously glanced inside.
“Uh, no.”
“Why not?”
I pulled the flower print sundress out of the bag and held it as far away from myself as possible. “This is a dress.”
“Uh, yeah? It’s really cute!”
“I DON’T do dresses. Not skirts, not halter tops,” I gestured towards the offending strappy number in my hand, “and ESPECIALLY not dresses! This breaks, like, every one of my personal dress code rules. No way, no how. Just plain no.”
===
Damn this bra feels weird. And how do they get through the day in one of these things without showing their underpants off to everyone? “Stop pulling on it, you look fine.”
“Says the girl wearing jeans,” I shot back, trying to give Patty an evil look but failing when a sudden breeze caused me to yelp and grab ‘my’ skirt. She actually had the nerve to snicker when it happened, too!
“At least you’re wearing cute underwear too.” Ugh, don’t remind me; I hadn’t seen so much lace and pink since Patty’s seventh birthday party.
Can you believe it, their ‘surprise’ for me was a trash bag full of clothes! Apparently everyone pitched in to outfit me with a wardrobe more befitting a cheerleader, but I can’t wear any of this crap. And they threw away my ‘Bosstones’ tee to boot! Patty had some of my clothes over at her place from a swimming trip a while back, so we were heading there before I went home so I could change. The sooner the better, too- the whistling and catcalls were getting kind of old. And this bag is heavy, too, le Grunt.
===
“Hey, sweetie, how was school today?”
“Not bad, Mom. I’m kinda tired- I think I’m gonna take a nap, is that okay?”
“Sure, I’ll wake you when dinner’s ready.”
“Thanks.” Lucky she was in the kitchen! I managed to get the trash bag in my room and shoved into the corner, then collapsed on my bed and promptly passed out.
I awoke to hear an odd rustling sound coming from the corner of the room where I’d thrown the bag. Rats? Nah. “Wha?”
“Cute, but I’m not sure why you’ve decided on such a drastic change of style.”
Mom? The clothes! I snapped up in bed, and sure enough there was my mom, sat in the corned and idly sorting through the bag of clothes. “Mom, it’s not what you think, I swear!”
She turned around calmly to face me, still clutching a denim skirt in her hand. “So you’re telling me you didn’t bring a large sack of girl’s clothes in and hide them in your room? Honey, if you had wanted to try girl’s clothes you have just asked, I mean, I guess I should have guessed you’d be doing this after seeing the uniform in your closed but-“
“You’ve been going through my closet?!”
“Not at all! Well, maybe a little,” she admitted guiltily. “I’ve just been worried about you and, well,” she held up the skirt. “Care to explain then?” She looked worried, but not angry like I was expecting. What the hell.
I pushed my hands through my hair as I tried to think of a way out of this. What could I say that was less embarrassing than the truth? I didn’t WANT to wear the clothes, but I couldn’t say they were Patty’s ‘cause even Mom could see they’d be too small and besides, why would I have her clothes in my room? “Mom,” I sighed, “you might wanna sit back down.”
“Why?” she asked, but she sat back down in my computer chair.
“So you don’t fall down laughing. Hoo, boy. Okay, it all started last Wednesday…”
===
“She thought you were there to try out?”
“Yes.”
===
“You wore WHAT to school?”
“Well, it was Patty’s idea…”
===
“In the girl’s locker room? And they saw your-“
“My ch- uh, breasts, yeah. I guess that just proved them right, though…”
===
“And they threw away your clothes and gave you a dress to wear instead?”
“Yeah, I stopped by Patty’s place and changed before coming home, but she wouldn’t keep these,” I said, sweeping my arm over the clothes now spread across my floor. I leant back and took a deep breath, glad the story was over.
“I’m just happy you didn’t just throw them in a dumpster on your way home.” Now why didn’t I think of that? “This saves us a bit of embarrassing shopping for you, anyways.”
Huh? I was scared to ask. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, your, um,” she motioned towards my chest, and I blushed. “They’re getting a bit on the, ah, full side to be left free.”
She couldn’t, I mean, she doesn’t mean… “Are you saying you want me to start wearing a BRA? No way.” I looked down at my own chest. “They don’t really show, do they?”
She childishly scuffed her shoe on the carpet a couple of times before answering. “Sweetie, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but they DO show. Just looking at you in a tee shirt I’d say they’re at least a full ‘A’ cup by now, and whether you want to admit it or not I bet it’s getting kind of uncomfortable running around with those things, ain’t it?” I shrugged, but didn’t deny it. “And even when you start your hormones they won’t just magically stop, and they aren’t gonna just go away. You need the support.” A sports bra landed in my lap, and she kinda grinned at me in a friendly way.
Desperate for an out, I asked, “But can’t I just strap them down?”
“I’m not having you hurt yourself over this. Besides, it won’t be the first time you’ve worn a bra from what I’ve heard.” She was right, and the bra HAD kept the, umm, bouncing and stuff down, which did help. I picked up the bra and looked at it disapprovingly, but I guess I looked resigned, too, ‘cause she continued. “I’ll explain to your father tonight after dinner.”
How pleasant an evening this has turned out to be. Just perfect after the day, huh?
===
I put my Veruca Salt CD on and laid back in bed to think. It wasn’t the most hardcore CD in my collection, but I’d always loved them, and it was the first CD I ever spent my own money on, too. Her voice always helped me concentrate, and that’s what I needed to do now.
I hadn’t expected my dad to make a big deal of the bra thing, and sure enough I wasn’t disappointed. Then again, that’s my dad; I could probably come home dressed in full goth, makeup and all, and his only reaction would be to raise his eyebrows and tell me not to hurt myself. Either that or he’d laugh at me, he has the oddest sense of humor sometimes.
No, what had me confused was mom’s reaction to the whole cheerleader thing. She didn’t mention it to dad, thank god, and she didn’t bring it back up with me, either. Well, besides telling me to give it a try. Huh, who’da thunk my own Mom would WANT me to pretend to be a girl, and a cheerleader no less?
Ooh, Volcano Girls, good song.
Anyways, I guess for now I can keep doing it. It IS pretty fun, and a good workout to boot. And with Patty there, if something goes wrong at least I’ve got one friend to back me up. No, the actual practices don’t bother me. But what about the pep rally next Friday? That’s in front of the entire school! And all these clothes, too- now that I have them the girls won’t give me a break until I start to show a little pride in my cheerleader status. Hmm, I wonder… could I?
I got off my bed just as ‘25’ ended and went to the corner of my room. Hefting the bag of clothes, I took it to my bed and dumped it out and, like with the cheerleading kit, decided a list was in order as I went through my unwanted bounty. How bad could it be?
You’d be surprised.
-Let’s start with tops, they can’t be too bad, right? Two ‘cap sleeve’ tees, I think they’re called ‘baby tees’? One in white and one in baby blue. Not too bad I guess, but the pink ‘aeropostale’ logo on the front of ‘em kinda stands out, and they’re tiny, seriously. Two tanks, one black with those stringy straps and the other plain white. These look okay overall, too. Maybe this won’t kill me after all. Dear god, I spoke too soon. A halter top is bad enough, but why’d it have to be pink? I do like the jersey material at least, but I’ll NEVER wear this. And whaddayaknow, more pink, this time in a button down blouse, the only concession to long sleeves I seems in the entire bag. Plain cotton, so maybe I can bleach it or something?
- O-kay, so the tops were kinda hit and miss. It can only get worse from here, so let’s jump right into leg coverings, eh? Wow, they actually included jeans. And if they hadn’t been hip-huggers with embroidered pockets I may even have been able to use them. Shame that. More jeans? Oh, nope, the denim skirt from earlier. Damn, that’s short, surely that’s gotta break school dress code! Then again, seeing some of the things I’ve seen the cheerleaders get away with probably not. Oh, a flowery embroidered skirt. Looks kinda like something a hippy would wear. Nope, not for me on any level, thanks. Hold on, these can’t be shorts. Oh god, they are. Sure, khaki’s are fine, but aren’t they supposed to cover more skin than the underwear beneath them? I think these girls are trying to turn me into a slut, seriously.
-Shoes? What the? Oh, flip flops, okay. Wait, no, strappy heels. In white, I guess to match mosta the clothes. Do they actually think I’ll choose to wear any of this stuff? And how would I balance on these things, they must be two inches tall.
-Whew, deep breaths, deep breaths. Dare I look at the underwear? Well, really no choice, I’ve gone this far… Thongs. What is it with these girls and thongs? And they have to be these little skimpy things. And what’s up with this split in the back with jewelry hanging on it? That’s three more of these things I’ll never wear. At least these cover more than the thongs. Granted not much more thanks to the stringy side bits, but maybe I can replace the exercise undies with these. Oh, and a note from Patty; seems she got all the underwear, just grand. Oh, I guess that’s at least a little less embarrassing than thinking of Lisa or Nancy out getting them, and I know they aren’t used. Ah, and here’s the kicker- the bras. One padded thing, one lacy thing and one thing with these hard semicircles under the cup parts. I’m a thirty A if these girls got it right, since the cheer stuff fits I don’t see why they wouldn’t. Hold the phone, there’re socks in here too? Oh, gross, stripy knee-high monstrosities! Pink/white, purple/white, and baby blue/white seem to be my choices. Do these even go with anything they gave me? Should I care? Oh, and a package of tights, what fun! Not.
Damn, that’s a lot of stuff! The must either really be loaded or just really not want me showing them up. Heh, it woulda been easier just to kick me off the team, but I guess they see me as a charity case or something, maybe some project to work on? Last thing I wanna be is a bunch of cheerleaders’ Barbie doll. Whatever, I’ll think more on it tomorrow.
===
So much for having time to think over the weekend. Both my gymnastics class and Patty’s martial arts class went extra length this weekend- apparently they have a big tournament the weekend before the State gymnastics tournament start its events, so in preparation they’re beating each other up for an extra hour every Saturday until then. Word seems to have spread to the entire class that I’m a cheerleader, even the ones missing last weekend, and I don’t know what’s worse, that they thought it was cool or that they all seem to have forgotten I’m a guy! The other kids have even taken to calling me ‘Dana’ now. Jeez, I just can’t get a break, can I? Oh, yeah, and Mom decided that this weekend was as good as any time to start the bra-wearing thing, so now I have to deal with ‘my’ boobs being even more obvious to boot! At least they aren’t bouncing all over the place now, so they don’t ache so much.
After practice Patty wanted to hit the climbing wall again, so we did that for like two hours. By the time we left my entire body felt like it was about to fall apart! Then Sunday I had my self-imposed Parkour training regimen, too. I was so tired I went to bed early-after all, we have cheer practice early in the morning, and whether I want to do it or not I don’t wanna leave without notice. I’ll start hormone tomorrow too, horray! Looks like the beginning of the end of people thinking I’m a girl, and not a moment too soon.
===
“AND one and two and three and four, come on girls, one more time!” Lisa called from the front as she reset the music. Ready, set…
Kick and wave, right, left, big arm thing, kick again, change positions, funky weird wavy stuff, scream your head off. Phew, I don’t think I rested enough last night, I still feel like really tired, but I do have a blast doin’ all this. “Great job, girls, that’s about all we have time for this morning, go get cleaned up. Dana, if you’ll wait a moment I think Miss Cole wanted a word with you.” What’d I do now? Guess I’ll see in a second or two. I saw Miss Cole wave me over to her office, so I quickly made my way there.
“Good morning Dana. Please have a seat.”
“Good morning, ma’am,” I returned as I sat down. I had to ask. “Umm, did I do something wrong, ma’am?” I tried to hide the feeling of disappointment that was creeping up, but I couldn’t help shaking a bit when I saw the stern look on her face.
She calmly sat down before she spoke again. “Not wrong as such, Dana, but it is something we need to work on. The girls gave you a bag of clothes on Friday from what I’ve heard?”
“Yes, ma’am.” What’s that got to do with anything?
“Dana,” she sighed, “you’re a very pretty girl, and an asset to our cheer team. You can dance, do all the gymnastics, and can project your voice great. What I wanted to talk to you about is dressing the part of a cheerleader.” Oh, no.
“I’m sorry, Miss Cole, but I’m just not really into clothes and all that,” I apologized, thinking about the cutoffs and baggy Longhorns jersey currently waiting for me in the changing room.
“That’s alright, Dana, but as part of this squad your appearance reflects not only on you but on our entire school. That’s why the girls gave you those clothes. I won’t be kicking you off the team if you don’t wear them,” why did that make me feel so relieved? “But please, think about at least dressing a little better, please? To be honest, I’m surprised people can even tell you’re a girl with some of the things you wear.” Heh, if only she know. “You may go now.”
“Thank you, ma’am. And thanks for the advice.”
“Any time.”
As I showered and dried my thoughts drifted in and out of focus, but their theme was always there; my clothes. I didn’t think I dressed THAT badly. After all, aren’t jeans and tees pretty universal? Of course the girls on the cheerleading team did tend to dress nicer, heck even Patty seemed to be dressing a little better since making the team. But what exactly could I-
These aren’t my shorts.
“Nonononononononono, not AGAIN! Guys, come on.”
“What?” An all too innocent sounding voice asked from outside the shower.
“Lisa!” I whined, I admit it, but I was distressed! “Please, in the name of all that is holy, give. Me. My. Shorts. BACK!”
“What shorts, that’s the same skirt you wore in here this morning.” I looked at the piece of denim in my hand. The only similarity it had to my shorts was a vaguely similar material and color. And they’d taken my boxers again, too.
“Lisa, this isn’t funny, I’m gonna be late for class.” Inspiration. “Besides, my jersey won’t look good with this.”
“Sure it will, you’ll look really cute! Oh, just put the damn thing on already, you’re not getting your shorts back!” Bitch! What choice do I have, though?
“Do you have anything not in a thong at least?”
“Not with that skirt.” Dammit, I hate these things, and it was one of the dangly jewelry ones, too. “Oh, that’s looks SOO adorable! See, I told you it’d be cute!” I very much doubt the Texas Longhorns ever wanted to be ‘cute’, and the jersey was so long on me the skirt barely peeked out the bottom. Lisa was practically squealing in delight, and both Nancy and Shelby had looks of victory on their faces. A stomping on the steps from the lockers got everyone’s attention off o f me, though, and we saw Patty come in.
“Hey, have ya’ll seen Da- oh, wow, cute!” Oh, come on, Patty, not you too!
===
I swear, that had to be like the most embarrassing day of school ever! I wasn’t laughed at or nothing, but I did get a lot of weird looks, especially from some of the teachers. Patty said they were probably just surprised to see me wearing a skirt- well duh! She laughed when I said they probably weren’t half as surprised as I was.
The most surprising thing of the day though was Brody’s reaction. I’d expected TB to use the whole skirt thing as a springboard for some new joke, or at least a rehash of an old one as would more likely be the case, but the one time I saw him in the hallway he got this funny look on his face and got away as fast as possible! Come to think of it, he’d been pretty well avoiding me ever since I’d faced up to him on Friday. Maybe he doesn’t like prey that fights back.
It didn’t even occur to me until halfway through lunch that I could have used the meeting with Miss Cole to reveal my ‘male’ identity and get out of this. Sure, most of the school day had been spent trying to keep my underpants out of view of prying eyes, but I should a though of that! Even if I had thought of it, though, I was disturbed to realize I didn’t even know if I would have told her anyways. The simple truth was, I enjoyed the cheerleading. It was fun, energetic, and the first time I’d ever really done anything with kids from my own school. Back when we’d gone to Sherwood Elementary I’d had a few friends, in fact I still email Jonathan and Miriam every now and then, but ever since moving out here I’ve just been kinda a loner I guess. It felt good to be part of something, and I guess I just didn’t wanna give that up.
“Hey, girl, get your head outta the clouds and answer me!”
“Huh?” Oh, someone was talking to me. I saw Lisa sigh before addressing me again.
“I said a few of us are goin’ to the movies after school today since we couldn’t get another practice space. You wanna go?” They’re inviting me?
“What are ya’ll gonna see?” Best not to agree without knowing what I’m getting myself in for.
“I dunno, maybe the new Kent Brockman movie, he’s cute. Or, ooh, isn’t ‘Eight Dragons’ out yet? I’ve heard that was like really good too.”
“You mean you don’t even know what movie you’re gonna see yet?”
“Oh well, we’ll decide when we get there. Oh and Patty meet me out front after school and I’ll give ya’ll a ride. Oh, I gotta go, see ya then!” And with a last wave she disappeared in a whirlwind of peppiness. I never even said yes, but apparently I didn’t have to.
Shortly after Lisa left, the bell for the end of lunch chimed. On the way out I ran into Patty. “Hey, where were you during lunch?”
She looked at me oddly for a moment. “The principal needed to talk to me about… something. Oh, did Lisa ask you about the movie?”
I let out a huff. “Blitzed is more like it, I didn’t have a chance to say no! I don’t think I’m gonna go, though.” She turned around quickly and grabbed my hand.
“But you’ve got to! Please, I’ll even pay for your ticket, but I don’t wanna go without you.” That decided it for me.
Never turn down a free movie, after all.
===
“Hey, don’t forget, extra practice tomorrow after school on the soccer field!”
“I won’t.” I promised Lisa as I closed the car door behind me. I was barely backed away before the car load of giggling girls took off for parts unknown, and man I was tired! Mom had left the light on in the kitchen- our universal sign that someone was still out- but I’d used Lisa’s cell to call her earlier so I knew I wasn’t in trouble. I grabbed a quick glass of juice before heading to bed, shutting the light off on my way out.
Whew, what a night! I should’ve known there’d be more to the afternoon than a movie, but I hadn’t expected two hours of shopping! Needless to say, I’m yet again the not-so-proud owner of even more girl’s clothes, more specifically two more pairs of girl’s jeans. I tried to tell them ‘no way’, I even started on telling them I was a guy again, but something stopped me before I did it. Hmm, funny that. Oh well, at least they aren’t skirts, even if they are a bit on the tight side for my taste. A baggy tee and nobody’ll know the difference.
Not that that makes a difference since I wore a skirt to school today. God, I still can’t believe that guy at the movie theatre tried to feel me up in the snack line, too, what a creep! The movie was good, though. We ended up seeing the seven thirty showing of ‘Eight dragons,’ and I just have to say, WOW. They changed things around a bit, and I still don’t get the deal with the monkey in a straight jacket, but I can’t wait for ‘The Song of Chi’ to come out! Two and a half hours is a bit long to be sitting in a theater seat though, and since I hadn’t gone all day ‘cause of the skirt, well…
That was the first women’s restroom I’d ever been in besides the locker room at school, and even Patty being there didn’t help all that much. I almost forgot to sit down, and then when that lady asked if I had an extra pad- god, by the time we got out of there my nerves were shot, and Patty’s expressions from tryin’ to keep from laughing didn’t help, either!
I wonder whether Mom and Dad got my pills today. It’s too late to ask tonight, guess I’ll have to wait ‘til tomorrow. Heh, with how tired I am I don’t think I’d stay awake long enough to take ‘em anyways.
===
Ugh. Late night plus school does not equal a happy dane, and an unhappy Dane is not a cheerful dane.
“Well good morning, sunshine. Looks like you had a late night. Those girls run you ragged?”
“Ugnh.”
“Take a shower, I’ll have you some eggs ready when you get out.”
“Unghlnhg.”
“You’re welcome.”
The warm water helped to beat my brain cells into action, and by the time I got out I was almost feeling human. Mom slid a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of me, and with a quick “Thanks” I dug in.
“Oh, this came for you yesterday in the mail,” she said as she sat across from me at the table and slid a small brown box towards me. I examined it for a moment before returning to my breakfast.
“cool. Did Dad get my medicine yesterday?”
“Sure did!” With a happy smile she got up and turned towards the counter, but stopped. “Crap.”
“What?”
She gave me a sorry look. “I forgot to take it out of your dad’s lunch box before he went to work.”
“Mom!”
“Hey, I’m sorry but they’ll be back this afternoon. Anyways, tell me about the movie ya’ll went and saw,” she recommended, changing the subject. So I spent the next five minutes telling her about our trip yesterday- minus any reference to my clothes or the girls’ restroom- before I had to go change. “Don’t forget your bra,” she giggled as I left. I think she’s having entirely too much fun with this whole cheerleader and girl’s clothes thing as it is, why would I give her more ammo?
Hmm, what should I wear? I was threatened under pain of death that should I wear my normal clothing choices I’d regret it, and I really didn’t want to find out how. I guess I could do one of those new pairs of jeans, at least they don’t have all that embroidery the pair they gave me has. Crap, my boxers’ll show through these, though! Well, I guess it’s as good a time as any to try the not-thongs, Le Sigh.
Grab a bra, don’t matter which one, they’re all the same pretty much aren’t they? And why the hell not, the white tank top too. And you know what? I’m wearing my ‘Johnny Rotten’ tee to boot- I even custom modified this one with lots of cuts and safety pins to be extra punk a couple of weeks before school, so now’s as good a time as ever to give it it’s debut. I’ll hide it in my bag before I go to practice- they can’t throw away what they can’t see! Hair in a pony tail, ready to go!
When Mom saw me all she did was raise an eyebrow. “What, Mom?”
“Nothing. Clean stuff for cheering?” She gestured to my cheer bag, and I nodded. Whatever. “Have a good day at school.”
The walk down to Patty’s went quickly, and I was rewarded for my early arrival by a muffled “Just a minute,” from her window. Since I had the time I decided to look at the package Mom had handed me since I’d shoved it in my school bag.
It must have gotten wet at some point as the return address was smudged beyond all readability, but there in the middle of the side was my name and address. I tore into the box, my curiosity peaked… Oh, yeah, THIS thing! Haha, it’s finally here, and on the perfect day! I must have made some kind of happy sound or something, ‘cause I felt Patty reach over my shoulder and snatch my prize from my hand with a “Let me see!”
“Hey, come on, give it back!”
“Easy, bro, I just wanted to see. Hmm, ‘Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols’? Is this some more of that punk crap you’re always listening to?”
The horror! How could she NOT know? “This isn’t just some random CD, Pat,” she hates when I call her that, so I only do it when she’s being a brat, “this is the FIRST Punk album ever made! Come on, you know, Sid Vicious, Johnny Rotten,” I waved at my tee, “’god Save the Queen?’” I saw the light ckick on at that, and I took the opportunity to snatch my treasure back from her thieving grasp.
“Ah, these guys did THAT song? Cool! Wow, that’s a pretty old CD, bro.”
“Johnny is timeless,” I said defensively, clutching the CD to my chest. My very big chest. I felt the color drain from my face as I realized, “I put on the padded bra this morning! Oh, shit!” Patty choked for a moment then started cackling, but I didn’t care- how could I have been so stupid? “I gotta get this thing off!”
“Why? It’s not like I have anything that’ll fit you. I don’t know what’s worse,” she said between gasps of breath and giggles, “that you did that and didn’t notice, or that your mom didn’t say anything.”
“What difference does it make? I’m equally dead either way!”
“I hate to burst your bubble, but the skirt yesterday I think pretty much sealed it with most of the kids at school. Face it, no matter what you do you’re ‘one of the girls’ from here on out whether you like it or not. Actually,” she said, in a bright tone, “I think this’ll make things easier for you. No, really!” I guess the look o my face gave away my doubts. “Before yesterday you got picked on or left out ‘cause you really didn’t fit in with the boys or the girls. Now that you’ve kinda chosen a side, people’ll be more friendly.”
“Yeah, but in a few weeks that means I’ll have to change schools or something when my pills kick in. Still sound like a good thing?”
“I’m not so sure that’s gonna be a problem,” was her last reply before she started walking quickly towards school. Just what did she mean by that anyways?
===
“What the hell?!?”
“What?”
I pointed to the rose sticking out of the door of my locker. It was yellow, and had a note tied to it in an envelope. “Do you think they got the wrong locker?” I hoped. Patty reached past me, pulled the rose gently from the beat up metal vent, and after a cursory glance grinned widely. “I don’t think so. ‘To Dana, with all apologies, Thomas Brody.’ Hmm, seems kinda literate for him, but it looks kinda like his writing.”
My. Brain. Was. Fried. “WHY in HELL would HE give me flowers?”
“Someone has a cru-ush,” she sang in a musical tone, then placed the rose in her teeth and tried to dip me.
“Oh, shut up, you ain’t Romeo, and he most DEFINITELY isn’t.” I pulled myself upright, and opened my locker to find another note slid through and on my books. I hid it quietly before Patty finished playing with the rose- I wanted to see what it said, but I didn’t want her reading it out loud.
I’d say I was pretty occupied with my own thoughts for most of the rest of the day. It kinda figures the first romantic gesture in my life would come from a guy- and TB, of all people! Not that the whole ‘Gay/Lesbian’ thing was foreign to me- there were a few openly gay kids in our school, after all- and I didn’t have a problem with the idea of one of my friends being like that, but I’d always considered myself straight when I gave it any thought to begin with.
‘Course, I’d never actually DATED anyone. And I’d never had a crush on a girl per se, but conversely I’d never crushed on a guy either. Not that guys were bad looking, nor girls…
I had Music Arts sixth period, and since it was my only class Patty wasn’t in I decided to read the note then. You wouldn’t believe how much of a relief it was when I found out it was an invitation to a LAN party from Steven Wright, a kid in my class. We weren’t really close friends and hardly ever talked at school, but since both of us were kinda part of the ‘outcast’ category, prior to my cheering at least, we’d come to make it a point to always invite each other to things like parties and birthdays. It might be only once a year we’d actually ATTEND, but it was the thought that counted, after all.
You know what? I think I’m gonna go! It says Sunday night since Monday is one of those in service things, and I’ve been around girls-only WAY more than is good for me lately. Since we share seventh period I’ll let ‘im know then!
===
“So it’s really cool if I come”
Steven gave me a broad grin, which when combined with his glasses and black crew-cut hair made him look kinda crazy. “I wouldn’t have invited you if it wasn’t! The smitage shall begin around two I think, if you can bring some Dews or something that’d be great. Oh, I just downloaded the ‘Mazes and Monsters’ fifth edition rulebooks, so we may try that a bit, too.” He held his hand up high for a high five, and I had to jump to hit it, which made my chest bounce a lot more than I woulda liked. All he did was give me a kinda lewd glance before shrugging. “See ya then!” What can I say? Geeks.
“Yeah, see ya then.” I glanced at my watch- if I rush, I have just enough time to get to the locker room and change without being late. I made a mad dash for the gym, stuffing my Johnny Rotten tee in my bag on the way, and was changed and on the soccer field just in time for Miss Cole’s whistle.
“Cutting it a bit close, aren’t we, Miss Phoenix?”
“Sorry, Ma’am.”
It seems that today was meant to be our first practice with the more complicated elements of cheering- namely, pyramids and throws. To make it worse, the soccer team, after graciously offering us ‘poor girls’ half of their practice pitch, had decided to take the opportunity to show off for us, and more than a few of my fellow cheerleaders seemed less than focused on the practice at hand.
“One, two, three, UP!” Of course, little old me just HAD to be one of the people up in the air. I knew I could take a fall, and we were on soft grass anyways, but I was kinda worried about being trampled by a gaggle of panicky girls. Still, so far we’d just done a coupla basic ‘lifts’ or whatever they’re called, and since I was the only one in ‘A’ Squad who hadn’t done them before it wasn’t all that bad, and we were well enough versed in dropping me in a relatively attractive manner by the end of the day we felt like doing a few at the pep rally.
Throws, however, were another issue entirely.
===
“Whaaooah, owwie.” It had taken a second or two after I awoke to realize I hurt. A lot. And in places that shouldn’t have hurt like they were from a measly eight foot fall.
“Oh, jeez, are you okay?”
“Whuh?” As more and more of my faculties returned to me, I became aware of another situation through the pain. Arms, hands, chest- yes, someone was definitely holding me. Cradling me was probably closer to the truth. To this point I hadn’t had the courage to open my eyes, but had stubbornly kept them tightly shut. With great trepidation I slowly levered one eye open to reveal…
“Hi there.”
I quickly slammed my eyes closed again. Just great, of all the kids in school who could have been there, it had to be him. He was tall, muscular, and tanned. His face was like a model’s and his deep green eyes were the object of affection of more than a few girls in my class. And did I mention he’s on the soccer team?
He’s on the soccer team.
“Hi James. Um, you can put me down now,” I said, putting my arms around his neck for support as I tried to slide myself down. After a false start and nearly running into Patty, who was wearing an expression of horrid worry and amusement combined, he finally just picked me up again and carried me over to one of the sideline benches. James Palmer had just carried me off the field- god, how could I ever live this down? “And what the hell happened?” I added when I could think.
“It was, uh, kinda my fault,” I heard him say as he positioned himself near my head while Patty knelt in front of me. Man, this I awkward. “I accidentally kicked the ball too hard and high, and it, um, kinda hit you in the head and, er, knocked you down.”
“Well of course it knocked me down, I was airborne last thing I remember!”
“Hey, no reason to get all bitchy,” Patty said to me, and her tone told me I should stay quiet. “Besides, he ran right over to help you, and he doesn’t even get a kiss or a ‘thank you’ or anything. You’ll make SUCH a great girlfriend, won’t she?”
“Hey!”
“No, that’s alright. I’ll see you later.” And wit a last smile and a wave he was off, and Patty was giggling hysterically. I swear, my life sucks.
===
Ah the joys of what had quickly become my idea of a ‘normal’ school day. Wednesday was just another day of dressing suitably pseudo-girly so that the girls would stay off my back followed by cheering, which I was loathe to admit had become the high point of my days. We were inside, so no soccer ball snipers at least. Thursday was just plain boring, with no cheering to save it from itself. About the best thing about the past few days has been my medicine. It’s just a mild dose at the moment to try and slow down my development, but still, it’s a step in the masculine direction! And not a moment too soon- I’m starting to like some of this girlie stuff a little too much.
This, however, was going too far.
“Oh, come on, D, all the other girls are doing it, it’s tradition! Besides, it’ll be the only way you’ll be ready for the pep rally!”
“Patty! Grgh!” I had managed to completely ignore the uniforms hanging in my closed for nearly three weeks now, and she wanted me to drag out the regular uniform and wear it to school!
“Come on, does it not fit or something?”
“How would I know, I haven’t tried the stupid thing on!” Patty gave me an incredulous look; I just stared right back.
“You mean you’ve had a uniform this long and STILL haven’t tried it on? What’s wrong with you?”
I don’t know, maybe the fact that- oh, newsflash- I’m NOT A GIRL! Does the name ‘Dane’ sound girlie to you at all?”
“Apparently it’s girlie enough to be mistaken for ‘Dana’: just PLEASE, do this for me?” Then she pulled the dirtiest trick in the book.
“No. No. I- just- no. Oh, come on, Pat. Oh, dammit, alright.” I took the twenty and went to change.
I really wish I hadn’t. Sure, the uniform fit- if you consider the idea of my ‘bloomers’ being displayed with every movement to be a necessary part of the uniform’s ‘fit’- but it looked WAY too good on me. No, I’m not conceited, but seriously, even I though I looked hot in this thing- which is precisely why I’d been avoiding it.
“Come on out, D, I wanna see!”
Well, here goes nothing.
“hey hey hey, look who’s the hot little mamacita! Your mom wants to see, too, and she’ll do your hair while we’re here.”
“What!”
By the time we left for school Mom had put my hair in a pair of ‘cute’ braids at the back of my neck, and even insisted on working a blue ribbon into one side and a white one into the other, giving me even more of that ‘Hey, Ho, School Spirit!’ look. Le Sigh. But the worst part was Patty- she’d done her face up in school colors for some inexplicable reason, and insisted I have the same treatment. God, I hate wearing a ton of makeup. The two of us must have looked quite a sight on the way to school, and we got more than a few honks from passing guys! At least with it still being mid-September it was warm enough for this- winter games are gonna like totally suck.
Oh god, did I just THINK in valley Girl? Must be a side effect of the uniform.
And can you believe it, hardly anybody even gave me a second glance at school. Well, let me rephrase that- I hardly got many ‘wait, ain’t that a guy?’ looks. Hehe, Steven’s reaction was pretty funny, though- I’ve never seen s spit take in real life before, but trust me, it’s worth it! And of course, TB seemed rather nervous the couple of times I caught him glancing my way- what’s up with him lately?
===
I don’t like much of Avril Lavigne’s music, but I have to admit that ‘Girlfriend’ is an excellent song to cheer to. I almost threw up right before the start of the Pep Rally I was so nervous, but Patty kept reassuring me everything would be fine, and once you get out there and actually start cheering, everything else just kinda falls into place, ya know? Within five minutes of running out on the court I was yelling and kicking with the best of ‘em.
“B-R, B_R_I, B_R_I_G_H_T_O_N, We, are, we are great, and you know we’re gonna win! We are Brighton, mighty fightin’ Cougars, always steppin’ up the pace, other teams are losers, play with the pride of the blue and white,
And show them how to play it right! GO COUGARS!”
Horray for brain-dead jumping about! Wave those pom-poms like it actually does something! Act like you really care if our team wins or not! I don’t know when exactly my nervousness changed to light-headed excitement, but by the time the sports teams showed up I was practically bouncing off the walls. After a short break from the organized cheers while the sports teams were introduced, after which the principal introduced all the new cheerleaders. My nerves rose back up as he approached my name, and a rush of relief swept over me when I heard him announce my name as ‘Dana’, followed by a request for all the cheerleaders and Miss Cole to meet him in his office after the pep rally. Oh god, I hope the meeting isn’t about me!
We kept things up for another half hour or so, listening to the school band performing all the tired basketball tunes every high school band tuba player knows by heart, followed by another round of cheers. I felt oddly smug when I realized how much more applause we got than the band.
===
There was only about a quarter of an hour left in the school day when we got to the principal’s office in the main building, and were ushered in immediately by his secretary, where we all stood eagerly waiting as he looked us over. I was pale as a ghost I’m sure, and when his gaze swept over me I’m SURE he paused for a moment. I’m SO dead!
“Ladies,” he started, “a very important issue has come to my attention. An issue which seriously affects every member of this squad, and could adversely affect our status among the other schools.” He paused for a moment, and all the other girls chattered nervously to each other, wondering what was going on. I was so nervous, embarrassed, and guilty feeling I think I nearly burnt through my uniform. Come on, just get it over with already.
“Jackets.”
Huh?
“Your letter jackets,” he continued, gesturing to the squad, “need to be updated. Those of you who already have them can keep your old ones, but I’m sure our first year cheerleaders want something new. We’ve got the books in with the types available, and Miss Cole will help you find something appropriate, after which we’ll discuss price. Of course, if you stay the entire year the jackets are yours free of charge, but since they’re customized we do need a small deposit.”
We were called in here to talk about CLOOTHES? I can’t believe this crap!
“Any objections? No? Good! You girls have a nice weekend.” I was almost out the door with Patty when a hand held my shoulder back. When I looked up, I saw Miss Cole gesture back into the office.
Oh god.
I sat down in one of the wooden chairs across from the principal’s desk- you know, one of those chairs designed to be as uncomfortable as possible from the moment you plant yourself in it- and awaited my punishment. Miss Cole shut the door and crossed to stand next to the principal, crossing her arms across her chest in a serious manner. The principal coughed lightly before taking on his ‘authority figure’ stance.
“You’ve got us in quite a predicament, MR. Phoenix. What made you think you could join the GIRLS ONLY cheer team and not get caught?” I could feel the tears start to roll down my cheeks, but I couldn’t stop them. My life was ruined, and all the girls would-
“How far along are you?” Miss Cole asked me.
“Excuse me?”
“Have you started hormones already?” She asked me gently. I just looked at her confused.
“Yeah, I’m on hormones.” What did that matter? She shared a quick look with the principal, and after a quick exchange of whispers turned to me again and smiled.
“Thank you, Dana. You’re free to go now.” Huh? All that, wait, what just happened?
“Am I still on the team?”
Miss Cole gave a small laugh. “Of course, dear. Couldn’t lose one of my best new girls, could I? We’ll take care of this.”
Patty was waiting outside the school for me with an anxious expression, and as soon as she saw me rushed over with a hug for me. “Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know.”
===
End of Part 1
To be continued!
Notes: Okay, by this time I think I'm starting to get the hang of writing things a bit better, but I know I still have like a really long way to go. This is the first draft of the typed version of this story, probably the third draft overall total. I know some areas of it are still a bit (okay, a lot) rough, so tell me what needs fixin', and it'll get fixed. Tell me what don't work, and I'll change it so long as it don't break the story. As with most stories, there are a large number of occurrences in this story that are circumstantial and/or stretching the boundaries of believability, but I've always found the suspension of belief to be one of the most pleasant parts of reading any genre. Comments are appreciated, and the next part should be out in one to two weeks! I know there's a lot unexplained, but they will be, oh, they will be...
Melanie E.
Comments
Melanie, I Found The Story Quite Entertaining
It reminds me a bit of the Drew/Gaby series. Is Dane getting male or female hormones? You might want to show when a new day starts or show time stamps to help the reader.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
A new day might be
A new day might be interesting, but personally, I thought the passage of time was well laid out in this one.
If you read some of the comments again, Dane has a prescription for male hormones.
Nice Start
Edeyn Hannah Blackeney
Good Thoughts!
Those were pretty much my thoughts as well! Wow! I mean if you ignore the initial setup (there are some, but not too many genuinely female looking males, but an androgen insensitivity could account for that. I like the setup, and the dynamic with Patty—I wish that I had a friend like her growing up.
Honestly, did you wonder, as I did, about the lack of influence of Dana's father? He is supportive, but doesn't seem really involved.
A laudable first attempt
which is told at breakneck speed. I await part 2 with interest.
Angharad
Angharad
Great Start
Well-executed story on a somewhat familiar theme. You've managed to make it fresh and interesting and I'm looking forward to the next installment. Spotted a few minor typos, but nothing that makes the story any less enjoyable. I'll pass along one or two in an email, if I can remember them.
A cute story
Melanie,
For your first time writing, this is a cute story. You have given your lead character Dane/Dana lifelike qualities that makes the reader identify with him/her. The Principal and Miss Cole both knowing and say "They will take care of it"?? I believe Dana is now "officially a girl" as far as anyone is concerned.
I am looking forward to more of this story. Hugs, Janice Lynn
Great story
I enjoyed this first part very much and I'm eager for the next one. I love how you manage to put the school authorities on the wrong foot with the hormone thing.
Regarding your notes: I believe you probably meant the suspension of DISbelief as the suspension of belief would mean we shouldn't believe a thing you wrote, which is probably good advise since it's a fictional story, but unlikely to be what you meant.
Hugs,
Kimby
Hugs,
Kimby
A very good start
I didn't notice any of the type mistakes that jump out and grab you.I think you have a great start to a very enjoyable to read story and I'm allready looking forward to reading part two.Amy
its ok but
Can we have the part2 tomorrow PLEASE ! ?
:-) part1 is awsome thank you
BookWorm
BookWorm
Hehe, I wish
Unfortunately, it'll be another week before I have access to a PC with Internet, and my PSP doesn't have that kind of memory:(
Oh my...
What fun, definitely a very good start. Got everything I like in there and even some Parkour which is in fact great fun to watch... Just wish I could do it. :(
I did spot one or two errors but with such a good story I didn't have any issue reading through them, this is the sort of story that just flows straight off the screen and into my brain.
JC
The Legendary Lost Ninja
A lovely story
Melanie
I really enjoyed reading this. Thankyou for such a sweet beginning.
Looking forward to the next part.
Hugs
Alys
oh cheers
great story cant wait for more
Samantha
Darn, now you've got me
Darn, now you've got me looking for other works by the author, and there isn't enough to sate me! Fun story. :)
nice.
I'm looking forward to mre. Just one "oops".
Testosterone isn't delivered as pills. I've got an FTM friend, and was on T myself for a while (rather revolting development given I'd rather be on E)
Most common is an injection every two weeks. Details available if you need them.
Alternatives are creams and patches. Neither of the latter two is considered a good idea for anybody in close contact with kids (apparently some T can transfer from skin-to-skin contact).
That said, the bit at the end where the principal and Dane were talking past each other is going to cause real problems down the line.
Fortunately, the resulting misunderstanding can be laid 100% at the principal's feet. Though I bet he'll try really hard to avoid it.
Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks
Cheers for Oh, Cheers....
My oh my! It's a blue moon when I actually post a comment as most stories are too mundane or ridiculous to say anything about, however this is not one of those. An excellent start especially looking at it in comparison to other notable starts by some of the best TG authors I've seen. I can see this story really coming to life even more than it already has. I especially loved the nods to Rebekkah Demere's excellent works. Heh! I would love to see those movies too! I wonder if they might come out on DVD? Hmmmmm. Funny you should use the name Dana as I am kinda envisioning a bit of Eliza Dushku from Bring It On and her character's name in True Lies was Dana. Heh. :)
As far as errors, well they are minor and with a small bit of proofreading help and research they are not a problem. I definitely look forward to more of this story and wish you well for a long successful run. I will have to be watching you from now on.... :)
Beverly Colleen
www.bevsbalcony.org
**********
I am a leaf on the wind, but someone turned the fan off.
A very cheerful story
A very cheerful story. Poor Dane, his life has slipped completely out of control, but it makes such an entertaining tale, can't wait for part 2!
So much fun!
Melanie, I *love* this story, and am really looking forward to reading more.
As far as "stretching the boundaries of believability" -- that's what stretching exercises are for!
And if anyone suggests you change something: wait until you're all done with the story before you go "fixing" things. The impulse will pass.
Hugs,
Kaleigh
Okay... ready? GO!
You've made an excellent first start, Rasufelle! A lovely tale where I'm ready to read the second chapter.
Marlene
nice start
Sure, it's a theme that's been used before but so what. You did a great job of setting the scene and building interest. Looking forward to more.
Themes
Reading TG fiction I've noticed there are a few 'standards' that seem to be used excessively, so I decided it would be fun to take them and try to wrap them in a new and interesting way. Trust me, 'Oh, Cheers' won't be the last!
Melanie E.
Nice story, and this is not her first
Remember Echos?
Womwomwomwom, splat! I still love the biolab bit with the preserved squid. I do hope tyou can get back to that one but this will tide us over nicely, thankyou.
I'm rereading this one closely after your wounderful part two came out.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
AAwww!!
Thanks John! And I promise, when Echoes starts coming out again you'll be the first to know since you're the official proofer!
Melanie E.
Fun.
I'd have preferred to be on my school's "drill team" rather than the cheer squad. Sadly, I wasn't quallified for either. :-)
Now, I'll read part 2. :-) (I missed this one on it's first post...)
Annette
Ahh, so deliciously
Ahh, so deliciously promising.
Just read half of it but looking forward to more.
This guy actually seems real to me, as when he questions his friends loyalty by asking
“Well, if you know all this then why don’t you try to correct them?"
when learning that the other kids perceive him as being a 'tomboy'.
That would be a natural reaction I think for anyone finding out what the other kids thought.
As her answer was too, thus proving her unflinching staunchness.
( Just love those English words, you know, stiff upper lip and all that :)
Yoron.
Cool story
I waited until this was complete to start reading, so I wouldn't have to wait.
I liked it. The characters seemed immersed in reality. I was surprised that nobody told Dana to shave her legs when they put her in a skirt, but if she's a natural platinum blonde her body hair must be pretty faint.
"“Yeah, I’m on hormones.” What did that matter?"
I am seriously giggling right now. Surely Dana should have figured out why the question was asked?
I look forward to reading the rest of this story.
Good story so far, keep going
Good story so far, keep going.
Kathleen
Still one of the best.
I have read dozens and dozens of stories on this wonderful site. But I always come back to this story, this was the first story I read that featured TG elements. This story piled up the kindling that would later become a flame of passion. I remember being drawn into this story like a moth is drawn toward a flame, I remember the new ideas this story brought to me, like a Goddess herself had breathed new life into my tired, withered frame. My spirit was broken when I first stumbled across this story, it restored me. I have nothing but praise for this, for Dana, for Patty, for Miss.Cole, for the whole cast of these characters! Who in that dark, stormy afternoon, brought me a few moments of joy, relief and enterinment. And now, I find myself returning to it, to once again soak in it's warm waters in hopes of restoring my muse and once more rekindling some of the fire that has left my tired body. Thank you ma'am, for writing one of the timeless classics of BGTS. It has stood the test of time and has become something truely special and will forever hold a special place in my heart.