The Trump of Doom

Could there be a future like this - I will RUN if I can.

“I will make Amurica grate,” that was what I heard him say.

It will never happen. Please.

“I will make Amurica grate.” That was what he said.

I have spoken before about the Mexicans and my idea for a wall to keep them out - I don't need to talk about that idea today.

There are other groups of people I have spoken about before. There are the good guys and there are bad guys too.

Each of the groups of bad guys will be dealt with thoroughly and properly in accordance with the laws of this land. We can learn from history and ensure that our actions are carried out with none of the incompetence that previous governments have demonstrated. We can indeed learn from history. I have studied Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot and other leaders of the 20th Century.

I know about the Communists. I know about the House of UnAmurican Activities which tried to blot out the infiltration of vile ideas into our blessed country. Communism is not the solution. We need to filter out all those vile un-American ideas and return to the glory days of post-war Amurica. Hollywood may get it wrong sometimes, but those pictures of the family at home, dad going to work every morning and playing with his kids in the yard - those were good days. We need to clean up the internet. We need to clean up television so that our children are not indoctrinated in all the wrong ideas.

I have a dream – and perhaps it is not exactly the same as Martin Luther King.

And, yes, there will still be criminals. And I say ‘shall we build a wall around them’. Little ol’ Britain used to be the greatest country in the world – and they shipped thousands of their criminals to Australia – those that they hadn’t hanged already.

I do not understand the willingness of those who deny the simple justice of an eye for an eye or a death for a death. I know that murders happen. I read about it every day. And some of them are crimes of passion in the spur of the moment. Perhaps those people will not do it again, But there are equally nasty crimes – abuse for example. Where the body may not be killed but the God-given spirit is destroyed. I believe that soul-killers and heart-killers are as vile and wrong as body-killers.

We can identify thieves, violent thugs, rapists, murderers and all the other wrong-doers – and then we don’t have to waste money on them by locking them up at a cost even higher than the most expensive private schools in the world. We can let them free – and their own bodies will betray them. Nobody can cope with shunning. Nobody can cope with being hated and loathed by everyone they meet.

And if there is one group that knows about being hated and loathed then it is the mass of - well it wouldn't be right to call them anti-social degenerates - but those who call themselves LGB and T.

I know it is wrong to say so, but acknowledging that there are queers is not wrong. Perhaps calling them queers may upset them - but even the most generous of you out there will agree that they're not normal, they're not likely to create a typical family like James Stewart showed us. They are different, they want to be different and we should accept that they are different - and deal with it. If they don't like our systems and our way of life - then 'get behind the wall'. And I will say this to everyone who doesn't want to be a true Amurican.

I know that some of you are worried about my definition of un-Amurican. It’s very easy – un-Amurican means people who don't think like you and me.

There are people whose actions I find distasteful – but I couldn’t call their actions un-Amurican. But if they try to criticise or damage this nation or this people then indeed as the good book says, wrath shall fall upon them.

I know that laws were passed to say that discrimination is wrong – and if you have ever been on the wrong end of abuse and stereotyping – well, my friends, you know how much it hurts. You know how wrong it is. But I say that some of those laws were wrong. I believe that as long as people are kind, and friendly and, well, y’know, a bit like that great film with James Stewart. If we do right then we shall not fear. It is those who do wrong who should shiver in their shoes. We may not know where all of you are – but we will make you suffer for your misdeeds.

But we need to be completely accurate in who we identify as wrongdoers. It is not enough to say ‘he is homosexual and therefore he will be a predator on our children’ – logic like that does not prove anything. What I just said may be true in some cases – but distasteful possibilities are not proof.

I am a red-blooded Amurican male. I know that I do not understand women. They may be just over half the population of the world but the good book tells us that they are subordinate to mankind. Their duties are Babies. Their duties are the House. Their duties are to support their Man. I’ve been married, I know that in some situations women are brighter and cleverer than me – but look at the cost of making them equal to us in law.

I have been accused of being rude to women, of being unkind to women and such like. The women I am rude about are those who go beyond their duties to the House, to their Children, to their Husband. Women are not Men. That is just so obvious. So why should women pretend to be men, to do jobs that men should do. You know I'm right. And I will say the same about men who pretend to be women.

I do know that homosexuals exist. I know lesbians exist. I believe bi-sexuals exist. I believe that there are those who are over-sexed, under-sexed and vague about the whole idea. But one thing I know is wrong (I’ve got a list) – when you’re born then any competent doctor can tell what’s between your legs. If it wiggles – then you’re a boy. If it don’t – you ain’t. Nothing is going to change it and nobody can persuade me that anything is more important than the physical evidence.

I've seen far too much in the last year about so-called transgender people. I won't say that they're lunatics - especially as they don't do anything once a month. But they have to have more than one screw loose - and they're never going to get screwed either - whatever some man-hating surgeon does between their legs. Men are men and women are women. A few years back, could we have believed a story that an Olympic Gold medal winner in the Decathlon would want to be a woman. I wouldn't have believed it then - and looking at the pictures - I don't believe it now. I know that television can make people do anything - and what the Kardashin family does is enough to make your blood boil - but persuading their 'dad' to join in and pretend to be a woman for a few days of television glory - that's just sick. Ooops, sorry Bruce, oops sorry again Catherine. I can barely say his name.

But I shouldn't pick on an individual - however strange they may be. And I wouldn't except he has brought his strange behaviour out in public - and there is such a law as 'outraging public decency'.

I can be persuaded that what people do in the privacy of their own homes is beyond the government’s interest. And I believe that about a lot of so-called ‘private’ activities. Not everything that goes on in private should be allowable.

I don’t want yes-men around me. But I don’t want nay-sayers with their constant wail of ‘that’s not possible’, we can’t do that’. No we were great and strong, we still are strong and we will be great again.

But there are those we do not want to have with us. I don’t hate the people who don’t agree with me. I may not understand how they can’t see my point of view. I may not have a clue why they can’t simply listen and see how right I am. Then, surely, they would follow my line because it is the way to make us grate again.

But I have said before that there are those who I do not like, who are distasteful to me. We have choices – and I would like those who really disagree with me to go. They can go beyond our Mexican wall. They can go anywhere – but their disapproval is merely a signal that they prefer their own ways and they do not want Amurica to be great again. Now that is almost a perfect definition of un-Amurican – that they do not want Amurica to be great again. How disloyal, how vile, how wrong can they be.

But homos – just joking folks, it's only a label – those who are, let's say, not family-oriented are not the only people who we must be aware of.

I’m going to aim to finish soon. I know who voted to get me here. I therefore know the people who know I’m right. And I know that I must fulfil your wishes in order that you can become the powerhouse, the engine, that will drive us back to greatness. I’m going to say things that those east coast lefties will call 'politically incorrect’. I’m going to say things that will make the weirdo hippies in California fall off their surf-boards.

Amurica became great on the efforts of the pioneers. Back then we didn’t have no homosexuals, we didn’t have no lesbians. We didn’t have anything but righteous true Amuricans.

We can learn from history. When there were bad guys doing bad things, the marshals of that time ran them down and killed them. There was justice then. And we want that back.

So let's get on the side of the good guys and let's get rid of the bad guys.

I know that I am right. You know that I am right. Your vote was for me and my colleagues. If you didn’t vote for me then you have no right to criticise what I do or say. With the help of you all I will begin to make Amurica great once more. Thank you and goodnight, my friends. Because if you voted for me, then you are indeed my friend. And as President George W Bush said, If you are not for us, then you are against us’.

We will build a new future and Amurica will be great again!

Definition – to grate – ‘to have an irritating effect’

Author's note - I wrote this as a parody - but apparently too many people got much too excited about it. Some of them did not notice it was supposedly humorous and wrote sufficiently irate comments that the comments were put on hold for a while.

Best wishes
Alys P