CHAPTER 12 -- Christmas Surprises

I could never have believed it, but it seemed like I was almost getting used to all the crap at school. I also wondered if they were getting bored by it. Besides, there was Christmas to think of. At home, I was pretty much always wearing my skirt and thinking maybe I'd like a second one. I was also texting Teresa. I tried not to do it too often, maybe once an evening, and she'd reply in an hour or so.

Two days before Christmas -- the first day of Christmas break -- I woke up to a nasty surprise. I'd been dreaming that I was peeing in my clothes and was feeling my legs and pants all wet. When I woke up, I still felt sort of damp down there. When I felt around, it felt sticky. It was blood. I totally freaked out, but quietly. Was there something wrong with their sex-change thing, and now I was dying? I got up and found some blood in my pj's, and some on the sheet, but it hadn't made it onto the matress. I took the sheet and the pj's to the bathroom and quietly washed the blood out, because I'd heard that you won't get a stain if you wash it out soon enough. I discovered that the blood was coming from my vagina. It felt so weird to put those two words together: "my" and "vagina." It wasn't really bleeding, just sort of oozing. I washed it off and stuffed some toilet paper inside. I put on some underwear -- my new underwear -- and stuffed lots of toilet paper inside.

As soon as I thought someone would be in, I called Dr. Newcomb's office. I must have been on some kind of VIP list, because he called me back in about 5 minutes.

"Doctor, I'm bleeding. From my, uh, vagina." I said the last word kind of quietly.

"Is it a large quantity? Would it fill a cup?" He sounded worried.

"No, it's just sort of oozing."

He sounded relieved. "You're just menstruating. You know what that is, right?"

"What!?! Yes, I know, but why am I, uh, you know?"

"It's something our subjects -- our patients -- wanted, and it wasn't hard to add."

"So now I'm going to be bleeding -- how often?"

"About once very 28 days. It's usually pretty regular."

"Oh, jeez! I gotta sit down." I was already sitting down, but, whatever. "And you didn't think to warn me about this? You wanted it to be some kind of Christmas present? Thanks, Santa!"

"I didn't want to get you worried. You were upset enough already." No, you didn't want us to get any madder at you.

"So, do you have any more surprises for me? When does my head fall off?"

"You're head won't fall off, don't worry." Doesn't this guy have any sense of sarcasm? "Hmm. Oh, yes, you may lactate a bit certain times of the month."

"Lactate?" I thought I knew what he meant, but I didn't want to.

"You have functional milk glands. Most men, do. Well, the hormones your body is producing at certain points in your monthly cycle will stimulate them to produce milk. With the right stimulation, you could get them to produce enough to nourish a baby. It probably won't be very much, but I thought I'd warn you."

I went and changed the toilet paper and peed. It was pretty messy. Then I texted Teresa:

"Dr Newconb's Xmas surprise: I'm menstruating."

To fill up the time, I wrapped my Christmas presents. About 20 minutes later, I was almost finished, when Teresa called me.

"You're kidding, aren't you?"

"I wish I were. Now I have to figure out how to not bleed all over everything. I should have paid attention in health class, I guess."

"Do you want me or my mom to come over and help you with it? I could take the bus, or my mom could pop over on her lunch hour. Or you could come here."

We arranged that I would take the bus over. She would show me how to use a tampon and a sanitary napkin, and then we'd walk over to the local drug store and I would buy my first "feminine hygene products."

When I got there, she gave me a washcloth and sent me into the bathroom to take off my tights and underwear and wash up. When I finished, I suddenly felt weird about letting her see my body like this, but I didn't see any alternative, either. I steeled myself and went into her room.

"I've got a tampon and a sanitary napkin. You could try using one, or we can do both so you can see how to do it yourself. I don't mind showing you, but I'm not going to do it for you each time!" She looked at my red face and added, "I admit it, I kind of like embarrassing you a little. Revenge for all the mean things you used to say to me, I guess."

She got me to pull up my skirt and sit on a towel on her bed. Then she showed me a tampon and how to slide it into my vagina. I was afraid I would feel weird, but by this point, we were too involved in what we were doing. She then showed me how to put a sanitary napkin into my underwear. "If you're using a tampon, you have to change it every couple of hours. And you shouldn't wear just tampons during your period, you should sometimes use a pad." I put my underpants and tights back on. I didn't go back to the bathroom to get dressed because, well, she'd seen it all already.

"Thanks for helping me out. I don't know who else I could have talked to. I don't think my mom could have dealt with it."

"Probably not."

"But -- isn't it a little weird for you, doing it with your cousin, knowing that I'm really a boy, or at least used to be?"

She shrugged. "It isn't weird for me. I guess my parents raised me not to be self-conscious about my body. I mean, I don't take my clothes off at school or anything, but if I'm in a situation where I need to get undressed, like skinny dipping or a physical exam, it doesn't bother me that much. I don't mind a boy seeing me naked, as long as I think he isn't going to use it as an excuse to be mean to me. Which a lot of boys do, by the way."

We walked over to the drug store, which was a half-dozen blocks away. On the way, she explained the different sizes and absorbancies I might need. When we got there, she pointed out the boxes of tampons and pads, but I had to actually pick them out and carry them to the register. I was feeling embarrassed and afraid the salespeople would notice, but the cashier didn't really even look at me. I might just as well have been buying cough drops.

I stayed for dinner. During dinner, her dad said to me, "as often as you come over, maybe you should just move in." Teresa giggled and I felt my face getting warm.

"I'm sorry, maybe I am over here too often."

"Your uncle is just teasing you a little," my aunt explained. "He's really saying that we all like having you here. You're welcome any time. But do call first," she added with a smile.