Brianna and Jayden A TG Dress Shop Story By Torrey Grover Copyright© 2015 Torrey Grover Brianna, who works in her mother's dress shop, is a confidant, cheerleader, and mentor to boys with special interests. Jayden was encouraged to meet her, and now they are having a deep conversation about Jayden's identity crisis.

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Anyone watching Brianna and Jayden in the Fashion Towne mall food court would have not noticed anything unusual. Here were two attractive girls, and lots of fashion-conscious girls hang out at malls.

Brianna Isabella Mitchell was stunningly beautiful with fashion model looks and posture. Her makeup was always dramatic, but never overdone: translucent skin, accented eyebrows, long lashes, bright lipstick, matching nails. Wavy brown hair with blond highlights cascaded past her shoulders. As usual a stylish headband kept it pulled back from her face. She was wearing a tight-fitting top that accented the shape of the bra cupping her well-developed breasts. Her short, but not too short, skirt hugged her nicely rounded hips. She always claimed she only dressed up because she had to impress the customers at her mother's dress shop, but nobody believed that excuse.

Jayden Sanders was much more slender but still looked attractive. Her hair was trimmed in a short androgynous style that barely called attention to her face and tiny earrings. She was wearing a loose subtly patterned cotton top and a dark, full-cut skirt. In contrast to Brianna's high heels, Jayden was wearing comfortable sandals over opaque socks. As always, her selections were carefully chosen to aid in passing by avoiding calling attention to herself.

"Let's sit over near the loudspeakers. That way we can talk without being overheard."

"Good idea, mind if I sit facing away from the crowd?"

"Fine by me. Personally, I like showing myself to everyone passing outside the food court. Besides, I'll keep a lookout for any lurkers."

"Now you are making me paranoid again!"

"Don't worry. Let's have the girl-to-girl chat we agreed to, Jayden. Your mom was really anxious to have you meet with me today. She called the Teen Girl Dress Shop yesterday and this again morning just to be sure I remembered." Brianna had a good idea of what Mrs. Sanders wanted Jayden to talk about, but Brianna knew that conversations like this needed to develop naturally. "So, what would you like to talk about?

"You know, I am trying to sort things out." Jayden looked around. "Are you sure its safe to talk here? I'm scared."

"No one is sitting right next to our table and the music system drowns everything out anyway. "

"You will keep all this like confidential, won't you, please."

"Of course, Jayden," Brianna said in her most reassuring voice. I need to be real careful with this girl, Brianna thought to herself. I have never seen someone be so scared and still come dressed into the mall. Any rushing on my part and she will either break down in tears or run away in terror. Her mom must have really pushed her to come here. "There is nothing to be afraid of. My mom and I both love meeting girls like you and helping them out. That's a big part of why my mother opened the dress shop."

"I guess you know I was born a boy, and ... and ..."

"Please go on." This kid is desperate; giver her some encouragement. "I would never have guessed by looking at you." Brianna paused, but Jayden seemed unable or unwilling to continue. "Of course, you know our mothers have been talking about our getting together for several weeks. Nothing you say is going to shock me."

"Yes, my mom said it would really be good for me to meet with you. She said you could help me see my options, and ..."

"Does your mom like to see you dress up as a girl at home?" Brianna saw Jayden nod silently. "But, you attend school as a boy?" Jayden nodded again and Brianna sensed that she was ready to say something. Maybe an open-ended question would help. "How does this all work?"

"This switching from boy to girl and back again can't go on much longer." Jayden was almost in tears.

"Everything's OK. Lots of special boys go through this. Just relax and have a sip of your drink."

Finally Jayden calmed down. "My mom always likes me to dress pretty at home. Ever since I can remember she always pushed me in that direction. I know she really wanted a daughter. When I was born she insisted I be given a gender-neutral name.

"When I was little Mom was really active in contacting other mothers in the neighborhood and finding playmates for me.

"What I was too young to realize right away was that all my playmates were girls. In fact, looking back, Mom made a real effort to keep me away from boys. There was a storefront preschool and private kindergarten near our house called Princess Academy. Of course that is where Mom sent me over my father's protests."

"Princess Academy sounds like awesome fun. Like, were you the only boy in the preschool?"

"Yes, but nobody made a big deal about it. As time went on I started to sort of think of myself as being a girl too. After all, girls were the only ones my age I ever had a chance to talk to. We used to watch boys on television and see them on the street outside the academy and giggle about how gross they were.

"Do you think your mom was trying to make you into a girl?"

"Looking back I think she was a bit ambivalent about going all the way and raising me as a girl. And, of course, there was my father to deal with as well. Some days she got me all prettied up, and other days she sent me to preschool looking like a tomboy."

"So, what happened next?"

"After preschool my father insisted I start regular school as a boy. Once I attended first grade as a boy it ... each year it was easier to go back as a boy again, and ... A couple of years ago my parents divorced and mom got custody, but now I ..., I'm stuck as ... as... I'm so confused."

"Yes, I understand. Tell me more about school now."

"I get a lot of bullying. Everyone calls me a big sissy and a queer." Jayden paused. "Well, not everyone. There are a few girls who are my friends. I hang out with them and they protect me."

"How much do those girls know about your home life?"

"I know they suspect something. Every once in a while one of them says something like 'I bet your mom is trying to make you into a girl!' I never tell them the truth, but they can guess and ..."

Brianna changed the topic. She wanted to get a sense of how Jayden identified. "How did you feel when you came to the mall dressed this morning.

"I felt like I was showing the world my real self, but I was nervous too. I rarely go out in public dressed like this except when Mom and I are far away from home on vacations. I'm so afraid someone will recognize me."

"Don't worry. You're not the first boy who has had this kind of experience."

"But, I'm almost 13. Mom says that I am lucky not to have started puberty yet. But she says she can get me to a doctor who can help if I want."

"I understand, Jayden. I had to make the same choice."

"You did?"

"Yes, That is why your mom wanted us to talk. I was born a boy and made the choice to grow up as girl. When the time came I started taking what Mom called 'special pills.' I've had no regrets since. " Brianna noticed Jayden was staring at her. "Yes, these boobs are totally real." Brianna let Jayden think for a moment. Lots of this was apparently new to her.

"I was lucky and my mom made me into a girl before I ever started school. From kindergarten on the only thing that made me know I was different from other girls was that Mom would kept telling me that I had a 'deformity' between my legs that would scare my friends if they saw. I was constantly reminded that I needed to be careful when using the toilet and should always change clothes in private. To keep my thing hidden she always made me wear a pair of tight, opaque underpants and then put frilly panties on over them. But when I was 16 mom took me on a vacation trip to a clinic in Mexico and got me 'fixed.'

Jayden suddenly looked pale. Brianna realized she had gone too far too fast. "Not every feminine boy makes the choices I did. You have lots of options. How do you feel?

"I ... I don't know! I'm so scared. At times I think making me permanently into a girl is just Mom's idea. Other times I dread growing up because I know what puberty will do to me. Being a girl seems so right, but..." Jayden took a deep breath. "No matter what I chose I will always wonder what my life would have been like if I ..." Suddenly tears started streaming down Jayden's face. Brianna reached across the table and gently held Jayden's hands.

"Is she all right?"

Brianna looked up and saw a tall girl with dark hair and bright lipstick that she recognized as one of the employees at the mall's gothic shop. "Yes, she is just a little emotional about boy problems right now."

"Well, I know all about boy problems. Most of the time the problem has something to do with an unwelcome penis," she laughed.

"Keep your advice to yourself. She just needs some space right now."

Brianna sat quietly as the goth girl headed to the trash can by the food court exit. Eventually Jayden looked up. "Thanks for covering for me."

“Glad to help.”

“I wonder if she knew how close to the truth she was. Unwelcome, is right. Just in a different way.”

Bianna smiled. This was the first joke Jayden had made today.

The girls continued to talk and Jayden slowly regained her confidence. Brianna started to gently reassure Jayden that there are lots of paths open to transgendered and questioning boys.

Eventually, Brianna started writing on a pink notecard. "Here is all my contact information: cell phone, email, Facebook. Any time you want to ask a question or get together I will be there for you. I also gave you the web site for two local gender identity support groups, one run by the Pride Center and the other that my Mom helps with."

"I know, Brianna. You are the best friend I can imagine. Totally supportive. You are awesome. Looking at you it hard to believe you were born a boy just like me. We have so much in common.

"You have a difficult choice ahead. Your mom is guiding you one way. Tradition and social pressure are pushing you the other way. Don't base your choice on what someone else thinks. Think about how you really identify. Follow your heart and chose what seems right to you."

"We'll talk again soon, OK."

The food court janitor noticed the two girls hugging before picking up their trays and slowly walking toward the exit. He thought for a moment about how hot they looked, then he grabbed a towel and headed over to wipe down the table for the next customer.