Educating Special Boys in the Feminist Republic: Chapter 11 - Campout and Relationships

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Kaylie's time at summer camp draws to a close with new challenges leading to a scary campout. Her relationship with Hillary grows. High School is ahead, but that is another story.

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In the morning Kaylie lingered in the cabin bathroom a few extra minuets. She knew that Pam, Stacy, and Hillary were anxious to get their turn, but this was a chance to admire her changing body as she showered. Last year she had been a frustrated boy named Kyle and now she was blossoming into a woman. The very rushed preliminary surgery she had received in the spring had ended any chance of her entering male puberty, and now her medically approved hormone regime was starting to take effect. As she pulled on her clothes she thought about how lucky she was not to have any boy parts hanging between her legs creating embarrassing bulges. Being recognized as a potential Special Boy by Madeline Lee and then being officially feminized was the best thing that ever could have happened to her.

She thought about her situation compared to that of Patricia Ruhr, the only other Special Boy she had met so far. Pat was strong, outgoing, and brilliant, but clearly more conflicted about undergoing gender change. To Pat being feminized was the price for being allowed to complete her education and be trained for science and math professional work. She suspected that Pat's issues related to being required to keep her male gonads intact until she could act as a sperm donor generating specimens frozen in liquid nitrogen. This was all part of a complicated eugenics program to keep up the intellectual strength in future generations born in the Feminist Republic. In a way it made complete sense. If the smartest males were identified as Special Boys who were then castrated the remaining stud pool of men from the work camps would become less and less intelligent. Still, this did not seem fair to Patricia.

Kaylie was glad she did not have to live on a pharmacological razor edge balancing a reduced dose of feminizing hormones with the minimum male hormones needed to stay fertile. And she could not image what it was like for girls like Pat when the time came to switch to a male hormone regime for a few months so she could start producing sperm. At least Pat had been assured this "male interlude" would all be temporary. The genetic counselors emphasized that after the donation period she would be eligible to be castrated and take a full dose of female hormones.

Kaylie missed Patricia with all her clever and erudite remarks. Erudite was another word she had learned from Pat. Anyway, she was here at camp with Hillary, her best friend and supporter. Her other friends, Stacy and Pamela, were not only here at camp but even sharing a cabin with Kaylie and Hillary. Since they had all been in the same Middle School they had watched Kaylie's transition from the timid boy Kyle into the well-adjusted girl she was now. Most of the girls at camp were aware that Kaylie had been a Special Boy but did not make a big deal over it. A few, like Connie and Nancy B, definitely were potential troublemakers. Kaylie recalled the term TERF; meaning Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists which described a small, but persistent group in the Feminist Republic.

"Kaylie, quit daydreaming and get ready. The rest us need the bathroom too."

"OK, Hillary. Just a few seconds more."

She went back to her bunk and finished getting dressed in the functional clothes needed for rugged outdoor fun. Like the others she wore athletic shoes, jeans and a tee shirt with the camp logo. Everyone's shirts were a bit small, and Kaylie suspected this was by choice. She definitely liked the look of her budding chest and sports bra pressing out against the fabric.

Finally everyone was ready and Kaylie grabbed her backpack and headed out with her friends ready for another fun day.

Delicate Topics

Paula, the camp counselor and patrol leader was sitting on a bench under the trees with a stack of pamphlets beside her. The look on her face seemed to be somewhere between embarrassment and amusement. Kaylie and Hillary found a spot in the shade and sat down wondering what this was all about.

"Today girls we are going to talk about some delicate topics. Pay attention and remember, this is important. Absolutely no jokes or giggling. OK."

"I think I know what's next," Hillary whispered with a smile.

"We are going to talk about female hygiene in the woods. Some of you have already started having periods and know what to do at home and in school. The rest of you will soon start having to deal with this aspect of being a woman.

"What I will be talking about today is how to manage in wilderness situations where you do not have a modern bathroom. An important part of the Girl Scout camp experience is learning to survive under primitive conditions. You may not always have access to modern pads and tampons. But, for thousands of years women had do deal with exactly this situation. Like Sarah Winnemucca you need to master skills needed to live in the wilderness. Remember, when camping you still need to keep yourself clean to avoid rashes and infections. You also need to handle used absorbent materials properly when there is not a waste basket available.

"Now, each of you take one of these pamphlets and follow along."

Kaylie did her best to act like one of the girls as the lecture demonstration continued. A lot of this was new to her. She had not been in the girl's health classes in Middle School, and Mother had obviously not seen any need to prepare Kaylie for her first period. Occasionally she noticed she was getting snide glances from Connie. She was one of the few girls at camp who had shown hostility regarding Kaylie's transgender status. The day was getting hot and the session seemed to go on and on.

"OK girls, that's all for this morning. You have a free hour before lunch. Then this afternoon we will review what you have been learning about wilderness camping skills. Off you go."

Kaylie and Hillary started back toward the cabin but Connie cut in front of them.

"Well, that session was certainly wasted on YOU."

Hillary came to the defense. "Leave my friend alone. It is not her fault that she was born without normal girl parts."

Stacy and Pamela gave Connie a dirty look and moved next to Kaylie. "Lets go. Don't mind her."

Hillary turned to Kaylie. "Are you ready for tonight?"

"I'm not sure what everyone has been hinting about. What's the big deal?"

"Remember tonight is only two days after the new moon. The moon sets shortly after sunset and it will be really dark."

"So?"

"I think they are going to take us out into the woods have us sleep under the stars. Girls who were in our age group last year said it is a really scary experience."

Rumors about the coming night filled the dining hall conversations at lunch. Everyone seemed to have heard a little from "someone" but everyone had a slightly different version. Some of the more assertive girls were telling stories about wild animals and strange sounds that were terrifying the more timid girls. Through all this the counselors refused to answer specific questions.

Kaylie was especially attentive during the afternoon wilderness skills session hoping for a hint of what was coming. She figured that in they were reviewing important information that would be helpful tonight, but exactly what? Finally the afternoon session was over and everyone headed back to their cabins.

"Hillary, how come everyone is being so secretive?"

"I think it is a plot to help us develop confidence by putting us in an uncomfortable situation that we will need to deal with on our own."

"Why don't the girls who were at camp last year tell us what to expect?"

Pamela leaned over. "The idea is to keep everything secret so each year's group can have the experience. My cousin told me that at the end of camp everyone is asked to promise not to share details about certain things with younger girls. Discovering on their own is supposed to be a big part of camp for each year's group."

"Yes, but all this anticipation is making me nervous."

"I noticed. You didn't eat much lunch."

Just before the usual dinner time Paula and the other counselors were running around instructing the girls to assemble at the amphitheater. Kaylie headed over with the rest of her patrol and joined the growing crowd.

"I thought this was supposed to be dinner time like always," Pamela gripped.

"Missing dinner will not be your only concern tonight," a girl for a different patrol said with a smirk.

Just then the senior camp counselors got up on the stage while other counselors pulled up a series of heavily loaded carts. Just then Ms George, the fearsome Camp Director, picked up the microphone.

"Tonight will be an adventure and a lesson in self reliance. Is everyone excited?"

A weak response followed. Looking around Kaylie saw confused and uncertain faces. Breathing deeply she thought about everything that had happened in the last year and figured she was ready for whatever the camp was going to throw at her.

Ms. George continued, "You will each be given a backpack with a survival ration for your dinner, a water bottle, and a blanket. It will be up to each of you to take care of yourselves tonight. No cabin, no soft bed, no modern conveniences."

Sighs and gasps flowed across the amphitheater. Kaylie shuddered.

"Also, no flashlights. The moon will set soon but your eyes will adjust. You will be amazed by how much you can see with only starlight. Of course you should be huddled in your blanket by then and will not need to move around until dawn.

"And no snacks, no candy bars, and no electronics -- absolutely. The counselors will be checking and anyone found breaking the rules will have to do extra chores the rest of camp.

"You will head out on the north trail an hour after sunset. Use the moonlight to set up your camp and go to sleep. No heading back to camp until the rosy fingers of dawn indicate the approaching sunrise. Then use your navigation skills to find your way back here for breakfast.

"Being out in the woods at night can be scary but we have been teaching you girls all sorts of skills that will help you with this adventure experience. A big purpose of Girl Scouts is to teach young women how to manage intimidating situations when modern technology breaks down. That is why much of the program is adapted from military reconnaissance and primitive living skills.

"In really ancient times males thought they dominated the outdoors, but no longer. Boys grow up staying safe in the cities and waste time playing sports and mindless video games. It is the girls, like all of you here at Camp Winnemucca who have wilderness skills and self-confidence. Male dependence on technology was what lead to their defeat during the Times of Trouble and is what now keeps our Feminist Republic secure against misogynist enemies.

The talk continued with warnings, reminders of the techniques learned in various skill exercises from the past few days, stories of outstanding girls and women, and slogans to encourage character building.

"We are having you do a self-reliant campout to build your personal character. Remember that Native American women like Sarah Winnemucca had to sleep in the woods every night. Learn from them. Now lets have our camp cheer!"

The half-hearted voices began the chant, "We are the Winnemuccas and can't be beat ..." After the first round Ms. George kept them repeating it and calling for more enthusiasm and energy until she finally got a loud, rousing shout-out of the closing line "... We have the outdoor skills to knock boys off their feet!"

"Now line up and get your items from the counselors, and then regroup with your patrol leader. Hurry, we need to use the fading twilight to our advantage."

Kaylie followed Hillary though the line to get her backpack and blanket. She was dismayed to see how small the survival food ration packet was. And the blanket was both small and thin.

"Hillary, this is going to be a rough night."

"I know. I expect they expect us to gather leaves and dried branches for a bit of extra warmth and shelter, but still ..."

It was almost dark by the time Paula told them to head out following the patrol ahead using the light of a crescent moon. They quickly reached the end of the camp road and continued on a well-worn path into the woods. The north trail followed a steep walled valley with a trickle of a stream meandering along the bottom land.

"At least we will have the hills as landmarks to follow to get back."

Connie couldn't resist. " Yes, unless you confuse north and south. I guess even a Special Boy knows that the sun rises in the east."

"I better on the navigation problems than you did. Besides, the stream runs toward camp."

"Quiet," Paula called out. "No talking from now on. Keep looking at the trail ahead."

From the sounds Kaylie realized that there were fewer and fewer girls behind her. Periodically she could hear muffled instructions and then sounds of breaking branches as someone headed away from the trail.

Suddenly there was a tap on her shoulder as someone whispered, "Leave the trail, go in 50 paces, and sleep."

She hesitated, took a deep breath, and then started to pick her way through the brush. She had been counting steps and realized that someone was leaving the trail every 50 paces. That would mean that the distance between girls was about the same as their distance off the trail. Hillary would be the next to head into the woods. She listened for the sounds of the girl who left the trail before her and soon heard Hillary crashing through the woods ahead.

Kaylie reached out her hand to measure how much longer the moon light would last. Only half a hand-width above the horizon remained which meant less than 15 minutes until the moon set. Quickly she found a level spot and moved the sticks and rocks aside. More by touch than by sight she gathered handfuls of leaves and pine needles and piled them up before spreading out her blanket. Fortunately there was no wind as there was no time to build a brush shelter.

As darkness set in Kaylie sat on her blanket and dug in her pack for the food. There was a mystery loaf of what tasted like firm bread loaded with dried fruit and nuts. She decided it was probably nutritious even if it tasted awful. Alternating between the survival bread and a few sips of water to wash down the crumbs reminded her of starvation stories. She was still hungry after finishing the loaf and regretted not eating a full lunch.

Kaylie sat and listened to the night sounds. After this I will never be nervous walking on the Riverside Trail again she thought as she recalled the day when she rushed out of the woods and back to the safety of the street. Minutes later she had gone into panic when Pamela's mother drove by and then went around the block and had stopped the car behind her.

Shivering Kaylie pulled the blanket around her even though she was not really cold. Suddenly she jumped when she heard something scurrying around near her. Then she swatted at a mosquito that was buzzing around her face. Digging in her pack she confirmed that she had eaten all the food ration.

Rolling on her back she could clearly see the shapes of the tree branches against the sky. Looking down into the surrounding forest she realized how much her eyes had adapted to the dark. The rocks and branches on the ground were dimly visible. Looking back up she was able to identify a few bright stars overhead. She began thinking about the night exercises the patrol had done finding time and direction by the stars. She had done very well at celestial navigation and that knowledge was reassuring at the moment.

Kaylie's thoughts drifted to more unsettling experiences: being forced to act like a boy while growing up, being bullied at school for being a sissy, the year-long stress of preparing for the identity and gender assessment. The darkness and isolation made these thoughts even more depressing. She wished she could build a campfire, but that was against the rules that Ms. George had spelled out. Besides she had no matches. This was going to be a long, lonely night.

Recalling the number of paces she knew that Hillary was less than 200 feet away. It would be so nice to be together right now.

She thought about all of Ms. Georges's rules. Although the girls had been sent off into the woods one by one there seemed to be nothing against trying to find each other during the night. They had been warned about smuggling extra supplies in their pockets. There was a prohibition against taking the trail back to camp before dawn. Feeling like Alexander cutting the Gordian Knot with his sword Kaylie decided she could follow her own rules.

Kaylie wet her lips to whistle. "Who's awake? Are you?" She paused. "Who's awake? Are you?" She knew that the Great-horned owl was active at night so her secret bird call would not seem unusual or unexpected. She repeated a few more times.

Suddenly she heard a quick another bird call. "Drink-your-tea-ee-ee-ee" The Rufus-sided towhee was not a night active bird so the call had to be Hillary responding.

"Who's awake? Are you?" she immediately answered repeating three times like a distress signal.

After a few minutes she heard the sound of something big pushing through the brush then stopping. She gave the owl call again for location and heard more snapping branches followed by the towhee call. After repeating this several times she saw a human shape moving carefully through the trees.

"Hillary!," she whispered. They moved together and embraced.

"I was so scared, then I heard your bird call. It sounded real, but when you repeated I took the chance and answered."

"I was scared too. Did you bring your blanket?"

"Yes, I felt around and put everything in my backpack before starting out. I was afraid of getting lost on the way and did not want to be without my blanket the rest of the night.

"I have a pile of leaves right behind me under my blanket. We can share."

They sat down on Kaylie's blanket and wrapped Hillary's around the two of them. For a long while they sat silently and listened to the night sounds.

"This feels much better being together. I was so scared."

"I was scared too. I never realized how many sounds of insects and animals there are during the night.

"Girls support each other, you know that."

"Yes. Lets keep close together tonight."

"Are you cold?"

"Not, yet. Just uneasy."

Hillary reached for her pack. "I did not eat all of the survival bread that they gave me. Do you want the rest?"

Kaylie felt hungry. "How about if we break it in half and share?"

"No. You didn't eat all your lunch. Here take it."

"Thanks."

Kaylie crunched on the small piece of dry bread and drank some of her water. Hillary was such a wonderful friend. She adjusted her position to get more comfortable and pulled the blanket tighter. Slowly, without saying anything, the two girls slid their arms around each other and pulled close as their lips met and lingered. This was more than a friendly kiss.

"That was nice. Can we do it again?"

"Sure."

After a few minutes they were lying side by side on the blanket-covered leaves holding hands and looking up at the sky.

"How do you feel right now?"

"I was hoping something like that kiss would happen eventually, but I was afraid to make the first move."

"Just like some of the teen romance stories you have been reading?"

"I guess so. I think all those girl romance magazines you gave me to read really helped me transition socially."

"Kaylie, I am really happy that you are officially a girl now, and that we are here at Girl Scout camp together all day long."

"I was really afraid that you and me and Stacy were going to have an awkward triangle relationship this summer. It looks like Pamela may have solved that problem by becoming Stacy's girlfriend."

"Stacy is nice, but I like you better."

"Let's try to get some sleep."

"OK. Put your arms around me. It will be warmer."

"And more fun too."

Kaylie looked up and could see that the eastern sky was getting brighter. It had cooled off during the night and she snuggled closer to Hillary for a few more minutes. As the dawn approached she felt Hillary's hands moving slowly and gently over her body. She rolled toward Hillary and offered a good-morning kiss.

"Well we survived the night."

"More than survived. It was wonderful."

"Camp is supposed to be about character development and discovery. I wonder how many other girls at camp have discovered what we just did?"

"We are not the first."

"Let's straighten out our clothes and get ready to head back. It's almost light.

"We don't want anyone to see us coming out of the woods together. You go diagonally that upstream and I will head downstream. We can act like we met on the trail."

Soon they were joined by a growing line of girls heading down the valley back to camp. Most were so hungry that they headed directly to the dining hall without even stopping at their cabins. The cooks were ready for them and dished up fruit, oatmeal, buttered toast, and hot chocolate as fast as the girls arrived.

After breakfast Hillary and Kaylie headed back to their cabin and started washing up. Soon Stacy and Pamela arrived holding hands as they walked through the door. There was a moment of silence as the two couples exchanged knowing looks.

Stacy broke the ice. "I think you two did more than just camp out alone last night. But I won't ask."

Hillary and Kaylie put there arms around each other's waist, pulled close, and smiled.

The last few days of camp passed quickly. On the last full day there was a big celebration banquet. Kaylie sat in the cabin dressed in her full scout uniform as Hillary brushed out her hair and slipped a colorful scrunchie around a high ponytail.

Pam came over. "Let me give you some help with your makeup. This is the big dress-up occasion and you want to look like the beautiful woman you are becoming."

The girls headed to the dining hall which had been decorated by the counselors. There was a delicious feast and Kaylie had to remember to eat in small bites like a girl. She was aware that when the food was really good she still tended to gulp it down like the boy she had been for most of her life. She looked at Hillary sitting next to her and recalled that they had been friends even before Kaylie started on the path to femininity. Hillary must have sensed the confused emotion and took Kaylie's hand.

"We are girlfriends now. Remember that when we get home."

"Yes, I know. It's wonderful isn't it?"

The next morning Girl Scout camp was over and it was time to pack up and head home on the bus. Since girls had come from various communities were lots of hugs, air kisses, exchanging of contacts, and promises to see each other next year. In a few days it would be off to High School.

Epilogue

Kaylie's outstanding ability in science in math developed rapidly once she began High School with the other girls. The challenging curriculum and the opportunities to grow socially were overwhelming at first. But, by her second year she had fully compensated for the intellectual deprivation experienced during the years she spent as a boy, and she was placed on the honors study track. After an anxiety-inducing application process during her Senior year she was admitted to the best science-focused university in the Republic. Her growing relationship with Hillary and her semi-competitive friendship with Patricia Ruhr continue to be part of her college experience. Looking forward Kaylie anticipates a scientific career where she can contribute to the advancement of an environmentally responsible feminist society. The Feminist Republic of Pacifica needs women like Kaylie to create the technology needed to deal with the recurring threats from the misogynistic hostile states beyond the borders. But all this may be the topic for future stories.

The End.

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