Chapter 4

The Line

My grandmother’s book was not thick and it only took me one night to read it all (a Long Night). I was not sure what I would find in those pages, but the parallels described startled me to say the least (two lives, one story). Our lives were not a point-to-point match as such, but the pains and triumphs were the same. It could have been me writing these lines if I wrote better. The feelings were so close I could not help, but cry for her and myself. I found that our line had always had “middle of the road people” as they were called in the book. Men and sometimes women who crossed the gender line to help loved ones without thought to themselves. Few knew about them sometime not even the ones they helped, but they lived their lives giving and sometimes dieing doing what they needed to do. I may have started this on my own, but now I knew I was living up to a family tradition strange as it is.

This gave me a lot to think on. History was repeating itself in many ways. Do I follow the path laid out for me in this book or do I try to change my fate, if you believe in fate? What would this mean for Jenny, Rose, James (Rose’s Baby) and even Nancy? Was this to change all of our lives? I needed to talk to Rose (as always)!

It was about noon when I found her high on the parapet over looking the sea. She was wearing a light green dress that flowed gently with the breeze. The sun glinted off her hair making me think of morning dew on the grass at home. She was beyond gorgeous to say the least. This place suited her and me, I think. I just watched her for a few moments (lifetimes). This was a sight to take to heart and remember always (get on with it). As I walked over to her I noticed a book in her hands, I guess I was not the only one reading today.

“Nice place you picked to read Rose” I quipped walking up to her. She smiled and replied “A light place for dark reading”. This made me wonder as we chatted. After a while I came to the point and told her what the queen said. This was not a surprise to her. She too had talked to the queen. She had gone to the queen when I had locked myself in my room with the book. The queen gave her the book she was holding to explain her decision. When I asked what the book was she said it was a diary of my grandmother's lover. That floored me (I sure get floored a lot).

That is when something popped into my mind that caused me to grin. Was her lover a man or woman (or both)? Rose seemed to read my thoughts. Her smile told me she would not tell me what was in her book (ouch). Well, I let it go. With how close my grandmother’s and my story was I believed I knew. That she was reading that book gave me hope that she would one day be my lover. I will take that type of hope from anywhere I can.
She looked outward across the island but I could tell she was not seeing any of it. I let her think for a while trusting she would tell me what she thought I should do when she was ready (I Hoped). To my surprise she turned to me and told me I would have to decide this on my own. I did not know what to say. Our relationship up to this point had been she would help when I came to her. What was I going to do now? This was something that touched all of our lives in a big way! Now it was all on me. How was I going to decide for all of us?

I needed to think on this for a while. I had just turned to walk away when she joked, “you wanted to be royal”. Was she laughing at the choice or me? This was not turning out to be a good day at all. I decided to go down to the nursery to be with Jenny, she always settled my thoughts. On the way down I ran into Shirley, the ladies maid the Queen lent me. She seemed quite miffed. When I asked she told me the other servants were being cruel to her. This I did not like! When I asked her why she blushed, but would not say. I knew at that point what it was about. I told her to take me to the one’s who were taunting her. I was mad and was not hiding it in the least. I will not go into what happened next, lets just say I made myself very clear about what I thought of their actions. As I turned I glanced at her and there was pride and tears in her eyes. At that moment I knew what I must do. I had been thinking of the cost to my friends if I took the queens offer, I should have been thinking of how it would affect the island. I had to do what would do the most good for the most people. So I went looking for the queen.

You might think that I was being big headed in thinking I would be a good ruler for these people, but I knew at least I would try to think of everyone. My mind was made up but I needed more information from the queen before I voiced my thoughts. Maybe this would be good thing. It’s not like I would have to take over right away (I hoped).

I walked into the throne room feeling quite good about the whole thing when I got the shock of my life. Who was standing there talking to the queen but my dear old mom! Well, I wanted to run away as fast as this dress would let me (run, run fast). For some reason I just stood there and watched as they chatted (freaky). What was I thinking this could not be a good thing at all? How did she get here? Did she know I was here? What would happen next? I was sure she would through a fit at how I left home
without telling her! My mind raced at the horror that was coming about. Well, I guess I should make my entrance or run like hell. She was just my Mother after all. I kept telling myself that as I approached the throne.

She had her back to me so did not see me enter. The Queen did but continued without acknowledgement. This gave me a moment to find out what she wanted. It was at that point that mother dear asked “Do you know where my run-away daughter is?” Her tone was one I had heard many times before, just before she lowered the boom on someone. That stopped all thoughts of flight. I straitened my dress and tapped her on the shoulder. To say the least she jumped quite high. That got a smile out of the Queen. My mother turned to me with a look of stunned surprise. The look I gave her was NOT one of being cowed. I was angry and was not going to take it any more. This was the showdown I had waited my whole life for. "Hello mother I see you got out of the hospital" I said. Not much of a opening but I had to start somewhere. "I did not run away I moved on with my life!" She looked me up and down. I could see her venom start to boil. I did not let her start. I let her have it. I won't write what was said here for it was too harsh for most readers. It was finally ended by the Queen. With a single word She ended the hostilities for now. The undeniable force of command in her word, "Silence", shut us both down instantly.
I straitened my dress and stepped back. I realized that this was not the place to have this battle. I went with my gut on what to do next. I turned to the Queen and curtsied. It was time to withdraw and regroup with Rose to plan my next move. I did not even look at my mother. It was not the time to tell the Queen what I decided about Her offer. All I wanted was to get out of there but the Queen had me pinned to the spot with her eyes.