Chapter 35

Let me tell you a secret. If you are asked to be a bridesmaid and told you have a choice, do not in any way believe the choice is real!! Litara and I chose simple violet satin dresses as the alternative was one of the pink monstrosities worn by great nieces at the last family wedding in Samoa (traditional tattoos optional). No dithering was possible if we were to have any chance to quiz the men about the sail to the wedding that had been casually mentioned by Grandma so we were essentially steamrollered by the senior manipulating expert of the family.

Boat talk adjourned to the kitchen where I learnt, much to my relief, that there was no plan for the three of us to fit in Bill's little boat Molly. Instead we would be flying to Las Palmas de Grand Canaria, about 1,500 nm (nautical miles, see Ch29) South-Southwest of Cardiff (it's Spanish but off the Atlantic coast of Morocco) then sail 3,000 nm West to the Dominican Republic in a catamaran designed like a hotel, having 8 double cabins in its 82 foot length and 33 foot beam. To prevent the trip being too arduous there was a professional skipper, a cordon bleu chef and another paid crew. The only 'slight' drawback was that although the boat was mechanically and domestically functional (it was on charter as we spoke) there had been a lightning strike which fried every piece of electronics on board so we would have to replace it all whilst crossing the Atlantic so it would be ready for its Bahamian charter bookings.

Looking directly at each man I had to ask "Are you two doing this for me?"

"Absolutely no way," said Dad. "I'll earn much more doing this than I would over a December in the yard."

"And your Grandma swears that once we're married she isn't going to let me go off sailing leaving her at home, so this is my last chance for the open ocean" added Bill.

Very clearly stated by both, yet I believed neither, although Litara only heard my suggestion about hiding from the press in the Atlantic after this must have been set up, while I was in Spain… Maybe I'm not the centre of the universe after all.

Sunday morning I restarted taking my morning temperature having missed 4 days with the hospital and everything. Frustratingly it was 98.2°F the same as when I left England - while in Spain it had been 98.7°F - is our blood cooler in colder weather or was it something else? After breakfast I went across the road to Serena's and shared the gory details of ambulances, surgeons and discoveries then showed off my new scar.

That calmed us a bit so we looked up the temperature thing on the internet without success but that led to me showing her the shareyourworld..com link and I thought she would explode! It seems you can be excited at seeing yourself on film and want to share it, but at the same time acutely embarrassed to see yourself on film and afraid others will see it. Life was so much simpler in the old days when we were 17 and immune to any embarrassment as we photographed each other being gross.

At a more normal level there was news to catch up with about George and her - what started hot had rapidly gone tepid. They hadn't so much broken up as not bothered to make dates which meant that, when George left for university, she didn't feel too bad about going to a movie with her replacement tennis sparring partner. That meant I in turn had to tell her about meeting Jean-Luc again at the television interview where I made my past public knowledge.

"I suppose it wasn't completely weird that he was the cameraman because these film people often seem to work together on different jobs like in that film 'Degrees of Separation' with Will Smith."

"I thought that was Kevin Bacon?"

"Kevin Bacon was probably in it too with Jean-Luc filming so it was inevitable that I'd end up on his boat with my boobs out!"

"To recap, having wrongly accused him of lying in the pub you tell him you grew up as a boy and then stick your bare boobs in his face. Anything else you want to tell me?"

"For some reason the people on the other boats in the marina treated us as a couple even though we're not, except at the airport leaving I kissed him and he kissed me back!"

"With your luck in this non-relationship with Jean-Luc, you'll be the first girl to get pregnant from a kiss!"

Further debriefing between Serena and I had to be postponed at that point but she did give me a lift to the marina where I'd made arrangements to meet Bill. First things first and I returned his sextant and almanac to their spot by the companionway - I hadn't had many opportunities for sights but enough to feel protective of the beautifully built antique sextant.

"Enjoying some 'me time' Bill?" I asked aware that Grandma was probably turning his life upside-down. He smiled. "I've waited a long time for Litara and her 'little ways' aren't likely to drive me away so soon. I asked you to join me so we could have a chat about your inheritance."

"I didn't like to push you but the whole family is probably itching to find out what 'my property, estates and titles' actually means!"

"I'm an investor." Bill explained. "You might have heard of nonprofit organisations which aren't owned and as the name implies don't look to make cash profit… What I inherited and want to pass on to you is similar except I do own it and do look to make a profit!"

"Who did you inherit from Bill? You've never mentioned family."

"I had family growing up and inherited from my grandmother which is the way it has always worked, skipping generations, since it was set up by Calum Garbh MacLeod nearly 500 years ago. He was in today's terms a pirate but a pirate with an eye for the future. These pirates lived from hand-to-mouth but intead of handing the booty to the men he sailed with he used it to enable them and their families to become ‘legitimate’ - to fish, farm, weave, brew, mine and the like. Some of those original acquisitions are still part of the inheritance others were sold and the proceeds reinvested. Over the years the trust has grown quite significantly."

"So that makes you a Laird?"

" Not really although that title goes with some of the lands. A Laird uses land to make money for the family while the trust uses money to make opportunities for the future. The trust if you like plants trees that others may one day cut down."

"But you could cut down the trees or sell the land to the highest bidder and spend the lot on yourself?"

"Yes, but what would be the point? I've invested in people and possibilities I care about, much of which would be destroyed, My grandmother set my income at 1% of 1% of the value of the trust each year which is enough money that I don't need to liquidate. When I die the same will be true for you except because of its growth I am cutting your income to ½% of 1% clear of taxes."

"That doesn't make sense. You are having a very expensive boat built and no 1% of 1% would buy that!"

"True, but I'm not having the boat built, the trust and I are! The trust owns the yard building the carbon fibre hull, the trust owns your father's sheds where it will be fitted out, the trust owns the sailmakers loft and a substantial share of the company supplying the new generation of batteries. The trust will own most of the boat!"

"If the trust is that big how much is ½% of 1% ?"

"About £50,000 a year, and yes you will be a billionairess…"