Chapter 20

9 am on Saturday What do I need for 4 days in London? Litara has arranged to borrow a friend's flat while they are away. My case is open in front of me and then it hits me what is missing.

"Litara? Sister sweetie?"

"What can you possibly want you don't already have?

"You're going to be working all day Monday and Tuesday while I'm seeing the doctor, or sights you've probably already seen…?"

"You'd better go and ask her if she wants to come then!"

10 am on Saturday Serena and I are going through her clothes deciding what to take to London. She might not have the top end clothes I have available to borrow from Litara but she does have a wealthy father and the willingness to part him from that money so the options are extensive. As her case fills my mind wanders.

"Serena, those round the world non-stop sailors… How many pairs of knickers do you think they take?" A pair of the said item promptly and grossly hit me in the face.

11 am on Saturday I'm sitting on Serena's bed, her arms comforting me, bawling my eyes out.

Throughout the preparations for the drive to London on Sunday morning I lived on emotional rollercoaster.

"What if my grandfather wasn't Malcolm Williams? What if it was Bill! My Da idolised his father and it would destroy him to find Malcolm wasn't his real father at all." I sobbed having had to tell Serena the story of my meeting Bill and how I'd been so grateful for his help in calling me his 'granddaughter' only to find at the funeral that what I'd taken as a friend's useful fib might have been more true than I thought possible.

As well as packing on Saturday I had, without showing my suspicions, probed my father about his relationship with Bill and it wasn't good. Bill had been there throughout his life, albeit with large gaps, even investing so as to enable Da to acquire yard space for his growing boat and electronics design business.

Nothing was certain though and one of my saving graces might be a naïve optimism that everything works for the best in the end. On Sunday Serena joined my family for an early lunch during which I had to promise several times to call home when we got to London, when I'd seen the doctor, when I got results… My Da indeed at one stage suggested it would have been a good idea if they too had joined us in London but my mother teased him about his having issue's about 'letting go' of his darling daughters.

At the off Serena joined Litara in the front of her Toyota Land Cruiser, which I described as a Chelsea Tractor but she insisted was a business necessity from which I was free to leave and walk. In the back I had my guitar and before too long Serena was co-opted into our group singing I'm So Excited.

With a halfway stop to stretch our legs, we made good time to the borrowed flat and I was becoming ever more impressed by my big sister's contacts. Why she so often, at the age of 28, still regularly stops with us in Wales I don't understand, but I've always been grateful that she does and if it carries the bonus that she can arrange something like this…!

"Stop gawping and go get washed and changed. You have a Drury Lane Theatre appointment and as your chauffeuse I suggest we leave by 6:30 pm." Litara was standing waving a pair of what looked like tickets at us.

I was still in shock when the curtain rose at The Drury Lane Theatre. Latira had given us only an hour to prepare so maybe it was her fault that my choice had been to wear what turned out to be her favourite 'little black dress'. "Stain it and you're dead" she said but at the same time she passed me a red silk shawl to match the red shoes I'd chosen to wear with the dress, after their impulse buy in Cardiff so recently.

Showing was a stage version of 'The Witches of Eastwick' for which Litara had acquired tickets for me and her. "I've already seen it and have better things to do than watch it again." she explained. "If Serena wishes to use the ticket instead of me…?" Thus it was Serena nervously pressing my hand as the rising curtain revealed appropriately Waiting for the Music to Begin.

We had to make our own way home and maybe weren't dressed sensibly for the train but pretending we did this sort of thing all the time and never sitting to avoid a seat marking my dress, a little over an hour after the final curtain we were standing once more with Litara, this time on the balcony.

"You know" I said looking out over the Thames from the Victoria Dock apartment. "I could very easily get used to this life.