Christmas Eve

An act of kindness by an unhappy man changes lives in unexpected ways.

My entry into Bob and Erin's February Short Story contest

* * * *

“But what do I do? What of my family, work, my home? How can I go home like this? Change me back, please!”

“If this is what ye truly want, I will grant your wish. Ye did me a great favor; I will try to restore ye. Hold still, Evan, I’ve never done this before.” Evelyn began to chant.

“You’ve never done WHA …?!”

Christmas Eve

All rights reserved in perpetuity by John in Wauwatosa, 2008
Thanks to Itinerant, Karen_J, Paula_D, Randalynn and Scott Ramsey
Ditto to Holly Logan for proofing

* * * *

I’m a normal Joe … Let me start again, I’m a normal person … That’s not right either …I enjoy a holiday as much as the average person, but why must Christmas start in July? I’m not kidding, go into your favorite BIGBOX retailer in midsummer, and I can guarantee you Christmas items will be sneaking their way onto the shelves.

You don’t believe me? Then why are collectible ornament displays up by or before September? Something-mark or whatever is one of the earliest. At least they do those cool sci-fi ornaments, spaceships that light up and … I have this Seven-of-nine ornament … ~~Stop drooling, kiddo ~~

Some retailers have their Christmas sales area open by Labor Day. I used to work retail, and the discount chain I was with started displaying large plastic children’s toys in July, I’m not kidding!

‘Too much of anything is not good for you’ may be a platitude, but it’s largely true. I can stand holiday — let’s be honest, Christmas music — up to a point but radio stations playing it 24/7 from Halloween on grates on my nerves.

I retaliated. Have you ever read God Rest Ye Merry? It’s the first in a series of mystery novels written by a recently deceased Canadian authoress. The hero is a middle-aged professor who has had a bit too much of the Christmas hoopla at the college. He is the only holdout from putting up an annual holiday display for the college’s money-making nighttime tours of the lights. After years of refusing to participate he appears to give in, the operative word is *appears*. He had a decorator put up a garish display high on his roof along with loudspeakers blaring out the same song again and again and again — Jingle bells I think. It was on a timer so it wouldn’t start for a few hours and the power cords were run such that you must get inside his house to turn it off. He locked his house securely and leaves for a couple weeks of vacation.

On his return he found his house broken into and the body of a colleague’s wife lying inside. He saves the day, discovers a huge financial windfall the college didn’t know it had — the motivation behind the murder -- catches the murderer, and meets and marries a nice thirty-ish scholar who aided his investigation.

I was considering doing something like his display, That’s how sick I was of the ‘whole X-mass atmos” Sorry but I do like the ‘Black Adder’, funny stuff.

Back to my story, I was fed up with the increasing crassness of the Christmas season. I rooted for the Grinch to win and booed when he turned all goody-two-shoes when The Grinch that Stole Christmas made its annual appearance on TV I was fed up at it all. I think it was the gross commercialization of the holiday — and many other holidays, too — that got to me. Whether or not you believe, the story of Christmas is an uplifting one. The far older Yule celebration was also one of rebirth and hope. Now the meaning is,

“Angels we have heard on high,

Tell us to go out and buy.”

Tom Lehrer is sounding more like a prophet as time passes.

I’m not against human companionship and good will towards all. I understand the need to make a living. I approve of all of that, but the tacky and commercial have become twisted substitutes for the human touch and it sickens me.

* * * *

“My *protest* started quietly. I did not decorate my work cubical — I worked in a corporate office at the time. My colleagues chided me, but it wasn’t a public area. Such decoration was voluntary and they knew it. I kept my cubical neat and uncluttered so they couldn’t complain. I was my usual helpful, friendly self with regard to all matters except the Christmas *excess*. When they put up lights elsewhere, I said nothing but I would not let them run them along my walls.

“Just because I choose not to decorate does not give you the right to force your decorations on me. Your own cubical is yours to do as you see fit and policy permits, but I don’t wish to be part of it.”

My colleagues slowly got the message and my cubical remained an island of sane, uncluttered earth tones floating in a sea of gaudy lights, glitter and gauche. I also got an increasing cold shoulder from them as well. There was fault on both sides. I probably took my protest at the commercial excesses of Christmas too far, but they mistakenly assumed that meant I was a grump and didn’t enjoy their company and a night out.

The office *cold war* reached its zenith when one morning everyone was talking about this *party*. Many looked bleary-eyed or even hung over; the boss barely dragged his sorry ass in. The *grapevine* was all about this great party and how everyone was there. It got to me, and I had to stand up and ask, “What is this *party* everyone is talking about?”

“The company Christmas party of course. Wasn’t it a hoot? The new caterer did a great job and the open bar afterwards was a smash. The boss must have tied on a few too many as we all got an extra couple hundred cash bonus beyond the regular bonus.”

“Last night? I have it on the company calendar; it’s next Monday.”

“Didn’t you get last week’s memo informing of the change?”

“What memo? I was out of town at a seminar.”

“There was your invite.”

“I never got one! And the poster in the break room lists next Monday; I checked this morning.”

“Evan is right, it still says next Monday.”

“Okay, we slipped up and forgot to update the notice; the invites were supposed to take care of that. Diana, you did the invites, Evan got one didn’t he?”

“Sure he did, I put them all in my out bin. Shit!”

“Diana?”

“There’s one stuck way in the back of the bin, jammed in a seam to be precise … It’s Evan’s, I am sooo sorry.”

“Sure you are. So damned concerned about your decorations and all that crap you can’t spare a moments time to take care of the human aspects. The decorations mean nothing, people are what count!”

“I know that, Evan. I’ll make sure you get the same bonus everyone else got and there is always next year’s party. It’s not like you’re all that keen on the holiday anyway.”

“Oh, so the fact that I got cheated out of a meal, drinks and company means nothing? Does this mean I’m not invited to the New Years Eve celebration too? I haven’t got an invitation, and it’s not an official company event. It’s not on the calendar.”

“That invite was sent with your Christmas invita … it wasn’t deliberate!”

“I’m taking an early lunch, and I’m not sure if I’m coming back, ever!”

I grabbed my trench coat and briefcase and stormed out.

“Evan, it was a mistake!”

The door closed behind me with a satisfying thud.

* * * *

I overreacted but can you blame me? I walked around, not sure what to do. I stopped at several bars and had a few -- more than a few to be honest. I had no intent of returning to those bozos and a good drunk seemed the thing to do. I had the good sense not to drive my car in my current state, choosing to walk it off. I could always take the bus if need be.

I walked for most of the afternoon and eventually wandered into a densely wooded part of one of the city’s oldest parks. This underutilized urban gem contains the only virgin forest left within the metro area or several hundred miles for that matter. In Spring it was vibrant with wildflowers and wildlife of all kinds. At this time of year it was desolate and all but devoid of color, and suited my mood perfectly.

Finding a fallen log, I sat down, and started to nod off from the effects of the booze and cold. Together they are deadly, hypothermia is a silent killer. Luckly, I was startled awake by a dead tree crashing to the ground nearby.
Disoriented, I thought I heard a high-pitched voice calling out. “Help me! Is anyone out there? Help!” The strange voice was weak and in pain.

I looked around hoping to put a face to the voice. It was late in the afternoon, and the light was failing.

“Help, where is everyone?” This time I was able to place where the voice was coming from and walked towards it.

“Help! I can’t move and …”

I saw the source of the cries and was shocked, and so was he, or she. I couldn’t be sure as the person was face down.

“I heard your cries, can I help?” Whoever it was remained motionless but gave out an involuntary moan from their injuries. “I won’t hurt you. You clearly need help.” I saw what appeared to be small child pinned by the legs beneath a fallen tree. They were in a bad way. They weren’t more than two feet tall and their clothing was archaic.

“I’m going to try and shift the tree. Can you pull yourself out?”

It remained silent. I guess I intimidated it

“I’ll have to prop up the tree then move you,” I found a fallen limb I could drag with one arm and moved it next to the fallen tree. “I’m gonna lift the tree enough to wedge this limb under it. Hold on.”

I straddled the fallen tree, remembering to lift with my legs. The tree was heavy and I could only raise it a little but it was enough to kick that limb under it.

“Thank ye, I’m free. Ye must go now,” The child spoke weakly.

“You are hurt, I‘m not leaving until your friends come or I get you to help.”

I went to pull the child clear. I pulled gently under the armpits for fear of aggravating any injuries. “Good, you’re free of the tree. I’m going to roll you over to check for injuries. Tell me if anything hurts.” I rolled them and their coat fell open … “You’re a woman?” The two foot tall person was an adult female in her late teens to early twenties, ethereally beautiful and shapely. If everything was scaled up proportionately she could have been Jeri Ryan’s sexier cousin. This woman was built; Anna Nicole Smith in her prime came to mind. One leg was broken and lay twisted at a sickening angle, otherwise she appeared unharmed. It made no sense. “I’ve seen midgets and dwarfs before, but their body proportions are off from an average person. You look like a normal person except for your size. Who and what are you?”

“I owe ye, Human so l‘ll tell ye, I mean you. I’m a Fairy.”

“I’d say I was crazy, or you are, but somehow I believe you.”

“I speak true, Human. Perhaps ye have the gift and don’t know it. Ye heard my cries for help; most humans would not.”

“The gift?”

“Some Humans have a touch of the magic in them, a remnant from ages past when Human and Fairy lived close. There is Fairy blood in ye.”

“This is interesting, but where are your friends? You are hurt. I can see your left leg is crushed,” I looked at her closely. If not for her injury, she had as lovely a pair of legs as I’d ever seen. “Forgive me, I was admiring your legs. I didn’t mean to stare, but you are a lovely woman, Miss...?”

She blushed. “You could not pronounce it. Ye may call me Evelyn for short. Ye think I’m pretty?”

“You may call me Evan, pretty Fairy woman. I mean what I say, you are an exquisite woman. Can I take you somewhere, Evelyn? I would take you to a hospital, but if word got out they were treating a real live Fairy ...?”

“I lied, I am alone. I was delirious for a moment and forgot I am the last one here. The others left long ago except for my love who died not long after. I have chosen to remain behind in this land I love near my lover’s grave. Only rarely does my kind ever visit me. Don’t concern yourself with my infirmities, Evan. We Fairy are creatures of magic and our wounds heal themselves unless we are torn asunder as was my lover.”

“Then why are you still hurt?”

“I was trapped between that fallen tree and something made of iron. Iron is poison to us.”

I saw what looked like a rusty ax-head half buried in the ground where she had been trapped. “So how so you feel now?”

“My strength is returning, but I am still too near the iron to heal.”

“I’ll carry you away from it, Evelyn.”

“Noooo, Evan! Don’t carry …”

* * * *

I had this weird dream. I was walking in the woods when I saw the most beautiful woman you could imagine or at least, that I could imagine. She was distressed by something. I did her some trifling favor, and she seemed pleased. She beckoned to me, offering me some wondrous gift if only I was brave enough to accept.

I reached for her hand. There was this blast of light, warmth, energy, life-force, call it what you will. I felt it soak into every cell of my body until I was saturated, and still it poured into me. My body was on fire, then dissolved into nothingness, but I was not in pain, I was in ecstasy. The sensations ebbed, and I felt blessed somehow. Like I said, weird.

I woke; the sun was on the wrong side of the sky. ~~Morning? I slept in the woods overnight?~~ “What’s with the trees, they’re gigantic!” My voice was high pitched and hauntingly sweet.

“I see ye are awake, Evan, though ‘tis an Eve you are now. I did try to warn ye, but ye had to be the gallant. I do thank ye.” Evelyn was smiling at me and helped me to my feet. I looked into her beautiful eyes, directly into them!

“What happened?” My voice sounded much like Evelyn’s. I looked down and saw I was naked and I had breasts, big perfect breasts exactly like Evelyn. “I’m a woman?”

“Tis true and ‘tis not true, Evan. Ye are a woman, with all the rights and privileges of that superior sex. Ye are also Fairy.”

“If we’re Fairies why are we built so … womanly? I thought Fairies were sylphlike.”

“Know-it-all Victorian artists, they thought children more esthetically pleasing; real Fairies weren’t *magical*.”

“But how … and why am I not freezing?” ~~And why am I not screaming my head off?~~

“Our ability to heal is part of us, and is tied to our Fairy magic. We don’t usually have active control over it. Humans would say it is a reflex, I believe? The residue of the healing magic is keeping ye warm.” ~~And ye are not screaming like a Banshee, because in your soul ye are Fairy now. Perhaps ye always were meant to be Fairy~~

“So Fairies heal from magic, and it is an involuntary power?” ~~ Wait a minute, you heard my thoughts … and I heard yours?~~

“Yes to all of it, Evan, including your thoughts. I could not heal because the iron I lay on disrupted my magic. If ye had but waited a moment I would have told ye not to move me any further. I would have crawled and wriggled the last few feet away from the iron to release my magic safely. In your gallantry, ye were carrying me when my magic returned, and it *healed* us both. Perhaps it was the direct contact with my flesh, or the trace of magic in ye, but we are as if born twins.

“Ye are Fairy now; that’s why we can hear each other’s thoughts. We have the gift of magic; with it we can touch other Fairy’s minds. In Evan the man, it was dormant,, but in Eve the woman, Eve the Fairy, the magic flows like a great river. Ye have wondrous potential.”

“But what do I do? What of my family, work, my home? How can I go home like this? Change me back, please!”

“If this is what ye truly want, I will grant your wish. Ye did me a great favor; I will try to restore ye. Hold still, Evan, I’ve never done this before.” Evelyn began to chant.

“You’ve never done WHA …?!”

* * * *

I had strange and frightening dreams, though some of my dreams were … fun. Problem was I wasn’t myself in them or male. It was rather confusing. I do know I had a restless night. I woke to the sounds of people crashing through the brush.

“There she is, officer. I thought she was dead until I heard her moan.”

“Miss, can you hear us?”

I stirred in response.

“Thank G** you’re alive! Help is on the way, ma’am!” a man shouted.

~~She, she, Miss, Ma’am?!~~

I stood up. I noticed I was tall again; my long, lush red hair fell in gentle curls all the way down to my ample tush. I didn’t notice this much as I was fixating on the fact I was very female and very naked. I felt energized, confident, fearless, and sensual all at once. I was also angry at someone. An image came to mind as I looked myself over … ~~Evelyn!~~

I reacted but not in the way I would have expected, as if anyone could anticipate this happening to them. “Evelyn, what the hell did you do to me? Get your G** d*** Fairy ass back here!”

The EMTs got to me and stared; in hindsight I don’t blame them. Here was a tall, naked redhead standing in the snow like she was on a nude beach in the tropics. Did I mention I look just like Evelyn scaled up? And Evelyn scaled up was a knockout. Jeri Ryan and Anna Nicole Smith had nothing on me and as I said, I had nothing on. Add that she was swearing like a longshoreman, but with a phone sex operator’s voice …you get the picture.

“Where are my clothes?” I asked, not thinking; bring more attention to my nakedness. The EMT’s, a woman and two men, were professionals, but nobody is *that* professional. I was having an effect on them as they were on me, though none of us realized it at the moment.

“Ma‘am, do you know your name?”

“Of course I do! I’m Evan and this Fairy, I mean like a pixie or elf … a magic being, turned me into a copy of *herself*. When I asked to be changed back into *myself,* I ended up this human sized version of her.

“Evelyn, get back here now and explain yourself, you demented dwarf!”

“Evan, was it?”

“Yes. I don’t normally look like this; I’m really a guy.”

“…Of course you are … Evan.”

“Evelyn, where the hell are you? You got me in this mess, get me out of it you f***in’ Lord of the Rings refugee!”

“Right … Miss, you’d best come with us”

He didn’t realize how prophetic that would be in a homophonic way of speaking.

* * * *

The next few days proved interesting. I got probed, prodded, and had samples taken of every bodily fluid imaginable. I was CAT scanned, MRI’d, EEG’d, interviewed by friendly people from the psychiatric department and basically confused the hell out of all of them.

But then, so did what happened with the EMTs on our way to the hospital. That was why they were driving themselves crazy examining me. I didn’t know, then, that Fairies can enchant other creatures. I’m not sure if it’s magic, mental, pheromones or a combination, but whatever it is, WOW! If I could figure out what it is, I could put the Viagra people out of business and half the liquor stores, too. Personal experience leads me to think it’s primarily pheromones, but that may be observer bias on my part. It’s hard to be impartial when you’re in the thick of the action.

In addition to not knowing of the Fairy power to enchant others, I’d also forgotten that Evelyn said I was now Fairy. In trying to restore me all she managed to do was make me human sized; the rest of her spell failed spectacularly. I was still Fairy and didn’t realize it then. If anything I was more *Fairy* than Evelyn was. All that failed magic had to go somewhere and it ended up fuelling my Fairy powers, supercharging them, to be frank. By the time we, the EMT’s and I, got to the hospital … we were good friends, very … good … friends. I’m amazed we didn’t crash the ambulance. It damned near took crowbars to pry us off each other.

After we were separated and whatever it was wore off, they were embarrassed but not angry with me. I felt, um, more energetic than before we did the, um, you know, … and very satisfied. Apparently *that* type of activity re-energizes Fairy.

After several days of tests, a police detective and one of the psych doctors came to see me. Both females this time, the authorities were learning. I was lucky I wasn’t in the psych ward, given my insistence on being a magically transformed man. I figured from the hospital’s point of view, other than claiming I used to be a man, I was cooperative and calm, so I had avoided the *rubber room*. Plus, everybody who met me those first few days became enamored with me, or at least very friendly. I quickly became Miss Popular.

The doctors were desperate to find out why, and/or, to get my phone number. I had the most attentive of nursing care. The gals were practically hand feeding me and were ever so helpful when it came to bathing and changing my gown, as were the male orderlies. The hospital was forced to rotate my caretakers frequently lest they become completely fixated on me and useless for anything else. Other than being stuck as this sexpot of a woman, I was having the time of my life.

About that detective, a Ms. Kathryn Anne Thompson, the police were making no headway on identifying me. She was hoping I remembered something that might help. “Evan, perhaps you can straighten out a mystery for us.” I liked the woman; she wasn’t accusatory and we saw eye-to-eye, literally. We were the same height though she was an athletic build, and I was built on a more *generous* blueprint.

“Anything if it will get me out of here … Detective.” I said Detective in a slow, sensual voice. That damned Fairy whatever-it-is was kicking in again, and I had to fight to stay centered.

“We found these near where you were first spotted in the woods.” She showed me my male clothing. I leaned forward, showing her my amazing cleavage.

“Those are my clothes, I told you I was a guy, there’s proof. Test for DNA if you have to, but those are mine.”

“Then why are they for a man well over six feet tall, and you are five foot ten and female?” Her voice seemed a little lower in pitch than before.

“Because I was changed by Fairy magic, Detective.”

I could sense her heart beating faster and her intoxicating *musk* suddenly rising from her body. I felt the heat from the blood rushing to her … she was aroused, okay, and leave it at that.

“Uh-huh. Then explain this.” She shook of her momentary confusion. The detective showed me my wallet with my driver’s license. “See, it’s for an Evan, but Evan is fifty-three, six foot five, brown hair and eyes, 235 lbs and male.”

“That’s my ID!” I touched the wallet and it glowed. The detective gasped. As we stared, the photo on the license changed into me, the sexy young woman.

“This is impossible!” both doctor and detective exclaimed. We looked at all the contents of the wallet. Everything belonged to Evangeline Marie Wilson, female, single, age 21, 5ft 10, green eyes, red hair, 135 lbs.

“That’s what I keep telling everyone. I was changed by Fairy magic. I was a middle aged six foot five, brown haired, brown eyed man, Detective, not your sister!” There was a flash of light.

“My god, look at you!”

“What?”

The detective turned me towards a large mirror. I saw *our* reflection, that of the detective, and her twin. It was like one of those 19th century stereoscopic photos. We were identical down to our clothing.

“I look like you?!”

“Down to our makeup.”

We were more identical than she wished to admit. I carried the same compact shoulder-holster, automatic and badge, other than the name. We looked at my ID, and it had changed to reflect the new me. I was now Krystal Irene Thompson, female, single, age 29, 5ft 10, brown eyes, brown hair, 140 lbs. In all respects we were twins.

“Detective, that makes us KAT and KIT. Kit Kat? That’s cosmically sick.”

Even our jewelry was identical, *all of it*. I whispered in her ear. ”When did you get pieced there, you minx?” I pointed discreetly at an intimate part of our anatomies.

Her eyes went wide. “It’s true, you were changed by magic. You really are Evan.”

“Thank god someone believes me!” I gave her a hug, I don’t know why. I inhaled reflexively and found myself becoming aroused.

Then, the psych doctor spoke, damn her. “Sorry I was so quiet. I was being observant. That’s one of the best ways to evaluate a patient. Evan, I’m convinced, too. When I heard what happened with the EMTs, I thought it was a joke. Now that I’ve met you, I feel the attraction. You are producing some chemical or subconsciously projecting magic; somehow you are becoming irresistible. I’m engaged to be married and … I want you. I can’t remember his name!”

“I thought something was wrong. I’m not attracted to women, but Evan here....” The detective licked her lips and moved towards me.

I knew the detective was lying. That *intimate* piece of jewelry was a gift from her on-again-off-again female lover, and the friendship ring was from a boyfriend. She registered as *bi* in my Fairy senses. How did I *know* these things?

I imagined what we three could do for *fun,* and whether the doctor was shaved like the detective or *natural*. I *knew* the doctor was not wearing panties or a bra. That made me happy. Realizing what had made me happy worried me.

“What the hell? Now I want you both. We must fight this, ladies, as much as we don’t want to.”

It took effort, and a promise to have a quiet dinner with them, but we managed not to jump each other there and then.

* * * *

Everyone left so I could rest. I woke up in my own body; unfortunately, it was the bombshell babe. Being alone, I took a shower, changed into a clean gown, lay down and had a think.

The police and my doctors conferred. They decided my best hope for a return to a normal life was to track down Evelyn and enlist her help.

* * * *

“I agree we need to find that eccentric elf, but what about my job? I can’t make a living like this. More than a few minutes in the same room with me and we’re all… I mean, is it normal to be this … aroused all the time AND to induce that state in others?”

Several doctors gave me looks that frightened part of my mind but had my body tingling with anticipation. I wanted them NOW, and it frightened me. Then I got angry.

“If some of you are thinking what I think you’re thinking you have got to be kidding! Prostitution is illegal, and I will not be some rich man’s trophy wife. As to pornography, I bought a few *men’s* magazines as Evan, but I never expected to star in them.”

“Evan, what we suggest is, should returning to your old job fail, you could become a model for fashion magazines or for advertisements. Perhaps you can be restored to who you were if we locate this Fairy, this Evelyn. But if you can’t, why not use what you have to your advantage. With time you may learn to control your *power* over others and lead a satisfying life,” the psych doctor suggested. She was *commando* again, and I *knew* it. ~~ Damned Fairy senses. Oh lovely, most of the guys … no, all the guys have erections. We might as well be naked with these senses. … BAD thought, Evan. Get a grip … Oh my! … And not on one of those!~~

“Evan, the detectives’ bureau is interested in your services. If you can copy other women, you could be an indispensable asset in criminal investigations, the perfect undercover officer,” the detective added.

She winked at me, mentally; my new Fairy senses *knew* she was ready and desired me under her bed covers. I was interested in her subconscious offer and was concerned about my lack of restraint when it came to sex. If I did not learn to control my desires, and couldn’t stop inducing reciprocal desires in others, there was no way I could function in society. Okay, I could make a fortune at one of those Nevada *ranches,* but I didn’t want to live the rest of my life as the *star* attraction of a bordello. Most of me felt that way; part of me was going YES, YES, YES! I needed to find Evelyn, ASAP, or spend most of the rest of my life on my back.

“I will not be a decoy on the vice squad.!”

“We talked about that and ruled it out. The defense could use your *powers* to claim entrapment. I’m serious, hon,” the detective said apologetically.

* * * *

I needed suitable clothes. All I had were hospital gowns and one tent of a granny nightie a nurse kindly brought me. It wasn’t flattering but it did cover me far better. A nurse took my measurements so they could find something to fit. An aide wrote them down. I was tall, a solid five foot ten and weighed a healthy 135 pounds. I knew I did not have an average figure, and the nurse’s aide’s expressions at some of my measurements confirmed that. The nurse smelled strongly of menthol.

“Ma’am, not to be rude, but you smell like Vicks Vapo-rub.”

“It’s a trick used in the circus. They rub Vick’s in the horses’ nostrils so the smell of the great cats and elephants doesn’t spook them. If your *lust power* is due to pheromones, this might block them by overwhelming the nose with menthol vapors. It seems to work. I’m in close contact with you, and I’m not aroused. Excuse me, I need to measure your inseam. I’m not being fresh.”

She knelt, and I sensed a change in her. It took a long time to get an accurate measurement. She had trouble concentrating. She shook her head and stood up. Her face was flushed and there were other *signs* of arousal.

“The Vick’s idea has limitations, and I just found one.” Her voice was husky and deeper than before. She walked slowly away, a bit too much sway to her hips. She turned her head back and looked longingly at me as she left the room.

“I know where most of the pheromones come from. If anyone suggests Odor-eaters as panty liners, I am out of here.” The aide laughed at my joke, excused herself and left. She also walked like she was hot for me.

* * * *

Later, the nurse’s aide returned with bags of women’s workout clothes, sweats and the like. An orderly set up a fan to bring more fresh air into my room.

“These are the best I could do on short notice. You are a difficult woman to fit, Evan.”

The clothing almost made me freak; they looked so big. “You have got to be kidding, these sizes make no sense. This top is an XXL , the pants are an XL. I’m not going to comment on the freakish bra. The boots are a size 8. My sister’s feet are a nine and that is a common size for a woman.”

“Evan, put them on.” The exasperated aide replied.

The bra fit well after adjustments. I was shocked, the cup size was huge yet the band, the chest size, was so small. I was built like a porn actress or exotic dancer with breast implants, my dimensions were unnatural. The panties were snug but comfortable. As to the top … ever see a Hooters girl? The fabric was tight but tolerable across my breasts, yet hung like a tent below. The sweatpant’s drawstring was in a huge bow to take up enough slack to cinch to my waist, while the fabric stretched skintight over my ass. My legs were like twigs in twin cloth trash barrels. I’m exaggerating but I knew then I was not an off-the-rack kind of girl. The thought made me happy somehow.

“We need to find that Fairy and fast. I’m beginning to like being this way, that is scary.” I slipped on some equally ill-fitting wind pants and jacket and we were off. “At least the hat and gloves fit.”

We got strange looks on our way to her car, most aimed my way. I felt like a piece of meat and that made me happy. ~~Evelyn!~~

* * * *

The hottie detective accompanied me to the park. We drove with windows open to minimize the effect of my scent on her and of hers on me. It was cold but tolerable. We parked in the lot closest to the ancient woods. After few minutes I remembered enough to find where I had rescued the girl, I mean Fairy. The footprints from the police and EMTs helped.

“Here’s the deadfall that trapped Evelyn, and there is the piece of iron that kept her from healing until I stupidly moved her.”

“That wasn’t stupid, that was being helpful. You didn’t know; how could you know? I see the dead tree, Evan, but the piece of iron?”

“It’s right here. I’ll clean it off a bit so you can see.” I knelt and brushed it off with my glove.

“I don’t feel good.” I took off a glove as an experiment and touched my bare hand to the rusty iron. “Aheeee!” Pain shot up my arm and I passed out.

I woke in the arms of the detective. Standing near was Evelyn.

“I told ye, ‘ye were Fairy’, but you didn’t believe me. Why didn’t you believe me?” She said this in a high-pitched but excellent Burl Ives.

“You know 'The Big Country'?” I managed to say. I was weak but feeling better by the moment.

“In summer, they show films by the great lawn on the edge of the woods. I have watched a few. You reacted to iron as I do; it is poison to us. Then you made matters worse by touching it directly and collapsing on to it.”

“You were having convulsions. I feared for your life. I was about to move you when Evelyn came along and warned me. She pulled you off the iron and you healed yourself. If I had moved you, I would be Fairy now.”

“Aye, Kathy.”

“Kathy?”

“We talked while you recovered. Long ago she knew one of my ancestors. Kathy was her name, and Kathy is what I like my friends to call me.”

“I thought you had to have some magic in you to hear a Fairy, Evelyn?”

“Kathy’s ancestor was a healer with the first Irish settlers here; some might call her a witch. Kathy has the gift, but didn’t know.”

“Evelyn says my legacy may be why I have done well as a detective. I may get insights from the magic that others do not.”

“Evan, Kathy told me of your difficulties *relating* to others.”

“Difficulties? Yeah, I’d call it difficult. I want to bonk everyone I’m in close contact with, and they want to do the same to me.”

“We Fairies are not that different from humans. We are closely related, closer than humans and apes. I’m afraid your problem was due to me. On seeing you, my twin, I felt desire for the first time in ages. Like humans, Fairies can desire *intimacy* at any time and more so when we are most fertile.“

“I’m PMSing?”

“That’s what you’re doing now. We’ll stop by a drugstore on the way back and get you some supplies.”

“I’m about to …!”

“I’ve dealt with periods since I was eleven; I‘ll help you. It also means your power, your excessive allure, will diminish to tolerable levels. You’re a beauty, Evan, so you will always have suitors, but your and their control will be better. I held you in my arms for over half an hour and got only modestly aroused.”

“But we are outdoors, and that must weaken the effect with the wind and all.”

“’Tis true, but I can sense ye better than humans and your *power* is waning. If ye will live with me, I will teach ye how to control your *power* as Katie called it.”

“I have, I had a life. I can’t abandon that. Katie said I might be an asset to the police, if I can learn to control my shape shifting and my *power*. I can’t live the life of a loner.”

“I will teach ye magic to change yourself at will, and ye will not be alone, ye will have me.“

“I don’t know.” I was confused and sad.

“Come with me. I have been alone for many years. I lost my mate when this great city was but a handful of cabins.”

“It wasn’t Humans who killed him?”

“It was an accident, and what makes ye think my mate was male?”

“But how do you have children?”

She giggled like a child and my heart soared.

“The normal way; though we Fairy prefer to stay small and secretive, we can be any size we wish. We can breed with human men at will. Few can resist our charms.”

“There are no male Fairies? Is that why you failed when you tried to restore me?”

“In part, though your Fairy magic fighting me was as much at fault as was my unconscious wish ye stay my twin. As to men, why would we want them? We don’t need them, and girls are better.”

“How do you reproduce?” Katie asked, I wondered too.

“Evan can’t be a man anymore but …” She whispered in my ear. I giggled. I giggled a lot and kept on giggling. Evelyn joined in my mirth.

“Can I be in on the joke, ladies?” Katie asked.

I whispered to her, “There are no male Fairy, because Fairy are both sexes at the same time. We are in our very essence female, so we can never be a man, but our magic allows us to be male *where it counts,* shall I say; enough to father children. Or we can have human lovers and bear their children but they are invariably Fairy when born.”

“You could father my child?” Katie looked shocked and hopeful as she asked that.

“That is not a proper thing for a lady to ask.” I giggled.

“Katie guessed true; we can sire children in humans. Sometimes they are Fairy, sometimes not, but they have the magic in them. I sired a bonny girl long ago, but she died when the fever struck -- typhoid humans called it. I sense Fairy blood in ye, Katie.”

“One of my ancestors loved a Fairy?’ Katie exclaimed.

“What?”

“Evan, she be right. Somewhere in her family history, before the earlier Katie, an ancestor was in love with a Fairy and bore her child. She must have passed that down to her.”

“What is your choice, Evan?” they each asked.

“Can I have both, ladies? And call me Eve.”

“WHAT?!”

* * * *

Katie contacted my employer. “He’s had a terrible accident and it will be a long time before he can return to work” ~~Like forever. ~~.

I studied with Evelyn. She met me, well us — Katie and I, we fell in love — half way and moved into my apartment. She made herself human size, and we introduced ourselves to the other tenants and landlord as Evan’s younger twin sisters. The guys in the apartment are so helpful, always offering to do things for us. They take us out to dinner and dancing, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. We haven’t let them, you know, as we don’t want to hurt Katie but a little use of magic makes them think they have, you know, and they wake the next day, very happy.

After a month’s hard instruction, I mastered changing my shape and size and had some control over my *allure*. We spent time back in the woods at Fairy size to tend to its care and protection and for Evelyn to teach me more about Fairy tradition. Katie took some vacation time, and Evelyn reduced her to our size, without making her Fairy, and we had a great time.

“Evelyn, Eve, I think we can work this out. I’ll spend some of my off days living as Fairy here in the woods, and I’ll teach Evelyn about being human when we are in our apartment.”

“Our apartment? Don’t you mean our apartments?”

“Don’t you want me to move in too, lover?”

“What about the Department? Lesbian lovers? They would frown on that, don’t you think?”

“But we’re not, not strictly speaking. You were a guy; the brass knows that, and you can be a man -- the important bits at least -- so big deal. If they don’t like it, the three of us can zap them with magic.” Katie pointed at a house plant. It bloomed then shriveled into dry twigs and seed pods in a matter of seconds.

“Katie, when did you learn magic?”

“Evelyn is teaching me. I accidentally turned my hair and everything in my bedroom pink a few weeks ago. I telephoned you and Evelyn picked up. She came over and figured out what happened. When you healed, I may not have been holding you, but I was near. That, and the close proximity to both of you since then, charged me with magic or woke up my subconscious talents, and I’m a healer, a witch you might say.”

“Which kind of a witch are you?” I was learning to use my sexy voice and charms to advance my *goals*.

“The best kind of witch there is, Eve, a very naughty witch.” She licked her lips and … you can guess what happened. And if you do, you have a dirty mind, bless you.

We decided that I would return to work. The question was how? Evelyn came up with the solution, and it surprised me. I made sure to show her my appreciation. I love being a twin, as we know what pleases each other. She was a happy Fairy, when I’d finished.

* * * *

Days later, Katie escorted us to my old place of employment and my boss. The staff were curious and we soon had quite a crowd.

“You may not have known, but Evan has a younger sister, identical twin sisters actually, and they are every bit as competent as he is at his job. Everybody, this is Evelyn and this is Eve, I think.” (Katie) ~~Remember, Katie, call her Eve.~~

“They have volunteered to help you and their brother out. They are willing to work for his salary, split between the two, as they are both fresh out of college and need experience. You can’t lose; you get two workers for the price of one. If Evan was here he could honestly say these girls know everything he does and then some.”

“Well…” My old boss hesitated.

“You’ll have to pay them benefits, but the possibilities. Perhaps the new public *face* of the company? Good looking twins attract attention, boss,“ Diana suggested.

A smile grew on his face. “Welcome aboard, ladies!”

* * * *

The end?