The Floral Tales (working title) –
J Morose 2009

Introduction
 
 
This story is based on a real club that existed in Southport, England in the 80's and early 90's. The events and characters are entirely fictional.

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their underage exploits when attending the local rock club.

He's all dressed up and has somewhere to go if his friends can get him to go. Stay tuned....

• May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours
• And many thanks for all the encouraging comments~ J

Part 2 - Debut

Anya's house – Saturday 7:10pm

“I'm not goin' out!” Insisted Kev.

“C'mon man, gonna be a laugh!” Wanger was starting to lose it. “Let's go”.

“C'mon love, remember before...” suggested Anya.

Anya was dressed in her usual gothy clothing, corset style top, lots of cleavage, long black frilly skirt and big boots. Freya was dressed in a black mini dress, heels, tights and looking hot.

Anya was getting a little hot too, but 'under the collar'. She was getting a little frustrated with Kev, and it showed.

After a further few minutes of cajoling and promises of much alcoholic goodness later on, Kev was starting to come round,
especially after he noticed Anya's frustration.

“Retsugo!”

“OK, let's do it!” Kev had finally come round.

“Cool, all set?” Wanger inquired of the girls.

“Yes”

So off they went. Anya lived on a quiet road, as they got to the garden gate Kev felt somewhat nervous, if not a bit scared.

“See, you managed the outside thing ok then!” said Anya.

“Yup, feels odd though”, replied Kev.

“You'll be right”

“Don't feel it...”

“Wait 'till you get some ale down ya”, Wanger knew that a good night out depended entirely on the quantity of beer consumed, a sentiment that was shared amongst the group, “wont matter then...”

“Got to get there first..”, Kev was still nervous, “Can kinda feel them curtains twitching..”

“Didn't think you cared bout other folks' thoughts” said Freya, “'specially with yer usual getup”.

“me usual getup in't skirts and shit”.

Oustide Floral Hall, 7:40PM

“The usual?” Kev was referring to their normal practice of pooling their money, paying for one to get in and then let the others in by the fire exit to the rear.

“Dunno man, might not be too many there yet”, said wanger.

“We can go to the pub first”, Freya put in hopefully.

“Not going like this!” Kev gestured toward himself, “'ll get battered”.

“No yer wont” said Anya, “Stop being such a tart..”

“Feel a tart”, replied Kev “and right daft too.”

Decisions, decisions. He pontifications went on for a good 10 minutes.

“Look, how much you all got on yer?” Said wanger.

Kev went rummaging in what passed for a wallet, “'Bout a tenner,” More rummaging, “No fifteen quid.”

“Anya?”

“Twenty.”

“Freya?”

“Twenty”.

“OK, I've got twenty five of her majesty's finest pounds,” said Wanger, “Why don't we just pay? 'Specially as Kev won't go anywhere else.”

They looked up towards the entrance. A billboard was outside proudly proclaiming “The famous Kenny Evans Floral Hall Rock Night”. There were a few people making their way in.

“fair enough, feel a bit exposed here”, put in Kev, “Best not staying as a target for the trendies.”

“Settled, Retsugo!”

Off they went towards the door, Freya and Anya either side of Kev, Probably making sure he does not escape.

Floral Hall – 7:55PM

They descended the stairs and could see the bouncers either side of a double door at the bottom. A table had been set up beside the door staffed by a woman who had a bucket and a stack of tickets.

As they approached the door the woman said “Two pounds each please”.

They fumbled for their money. One of the bouncers looked at Wanger and Freya and said “You lot eighteen?”, eighteen being the legal drinking age.

“Yes!” They chorussed.

“I'm nineteen!” Said kev, forgetting how he was dressed.

“Bloody hell, thats a bloke!” said the bouncer to his mate, “well, told you you'd see allsorts here tonight”.

“Yes you did.” said the other bouncer, “Go on with you”. He gestured toward the doors.

They finished paying and entered the floral proper.

-

The Floral Hall was a large venue and the rock nights usually attracted over 600 people on an average night. Rockers from all over came to it. The room itself was dark, had a large dance floor, stage to the left, which had a 15 foot high arrangement of loudspeakers either side of the stage, a DJ setup to the right, a bar opposite the entrance and to the right of that was tiered very wide steps, which had tables and chairs on them. There were about 50 people there at the moment.

Everyone at that time looked at the door when people came in, hoping to catch a friend arriving. This time was no exception. The DJ had Pink Floyd's The wall playing and was sat having a drink at the back of the stage.

Kev and the gang all headed toward the bar.

“Flagon of cider” said wanger, first there. The Floral, beinga raucous sort of place only used plastic glasses. Beer
was also available in 4 pint flagons with a screw top lid. Ideal when your carrying them around.

“Mines a lager please” said Anya.

“Me too” said Freya. Anya and Freya usually paid for eachother, this time was no exeption.

“Newky Brown..” said Kev. The lad behind the bar looked at him with eyes that had seen much there.

They paid for the drinks and bagged a table. The usual table was one right by the dance floor, so if they were staggering later, it was easy to find. Tonight was no exception to this, so down they sat.

Kev, looking for a little dutch courage, drank swiftly of his beer. Newky (Newcastle) Brown was the de-facto drink of bikers, although his dad said that it wasn't beer and that they dredge it from the Tyne (river in Newcasle) and bottle it.

“feeling better?” said Anya, rubbing his upper arm.

“Will after a few of these!” replied Kev.

“Well have another couple, that'll sort yer”, said freya.

“Still can't believe I'm doing this”, said kev.

“In honour of the attempt, I'll get yer next 'un” said Wanger.

“Cheers!” said kev. He thought that this dressing up lark could be Ok if people buy you drinks. Kev was often of the opinion that more beer could never be bad.

Floral Hall – 8:20

“And I, I, I have become comforably numb.....” Wanger was singing (badly0 along with the PA.

Kev Had drunk his beer. “Wanger, your round!” he chipped in.

“Hello, is there anybody in there.....” wanger sang, as Kev spoke.

“Ok, I'll get yer drink, but in 10 the thrash half hour starts”.

“Cool!”

Kev and Wanger both liked Thrash metal, the dulcit tones of Metallica, Megadeth and the like. The younger atendees usually danced to this, as later on, more of what is ow known as classic rock was played. Wanger heded off to the bar. This time however, he was set on not dancing, so as not to draw attention to himself.

The entrance doors opened, making themselves obvious by spilling light into the darkened venue.

“Its Stu!” squealed Freya. Stu was a very large bloke who was 6 foot 5 inches tall, built like a pro-wrestler and worked at his mother's business in the market, selling handbags of all things. He was also wearing a labcoat and had a stethoscope round his neck.

“Hey Stu!” shouted Freya, “Over here”.

Stu came running. “Hi Freya, gizza hug!”

“You look like a butcher dressed like that!”

“I'm a doctor”. He looked around the table. “Hi Anya”.

“Hiya Stu! Been ok?”

“Yup!”. He looked at Kev “Whose yer friend? And where's Kev?”

Kev was trying to be unobtrusive.

“Don't you recognise her?” said Freya playfully.

Damn thought Kev, just don't tell him. Kev did not want to be identified.

“This is Kay!” put in Anya.

“kay?” Stu looked and got a little closer, coming round to the side of the table where Kev sits.

The look of confusion suddenly lifted from his face as he recognised his friend.

“Kev!” he bellowed, “What the fuck! Thought you were a girl for a minute!”

“Thanks man!” kev sulked, feeling his currently shaky manliness slipping further away. “love you too...”

Stu decided on his usual greeting and picked Kev up.

“Gerroff me yer mong!” put in Kev.

“Sounds like Kev, smells like girl” put in Stu. He put kev down and produced a small flask from his pocket. Bringing
alcohol into the Floral in a clandestine manner was an ongoing war between the bouncers and everyone else.

“Have some of this!” beamed Stu.

Kev took a mouth full, drank and then started coughing loudly. “What the fuck is that!”

“Sheep dip!” grinned Stu, “made it meself.
Vodka and Ouzo....”

“Strong shit!” sid kev, taking another gulp.

Stu swiped back the flask and they sat down as Wanger returned with the drinks. “One newky Brown..” He said, passing Kev his drink.

“Cheers!” said kev.

Kev was in no doubt that tonight was going to be different.

-

The PA had been turned up. The opening bars of Metallica's One started blasting out the speakers and people from all round charged on the dancefloor. So did wanger, Stu and Freya.

“Come on..” shouted Wanger.

Kev nursed his beer. This was a song he really liked, but he was not going to make a fool of himself. Quiet as a mouse he decided.

“....I can't remember anything.....” The song blasted out the speakers. Theb others had joined a group who were dancing in a circle, facing inwards. They were doing the usual, air guitars, head shaking and singing the words in a high pitched falsetto voice, jus to upset those halfwits wo took their music too seriously.

Kev wished to join them, but was still apprehensive. As a reflex action, he swigged deeply of his beer, it's murky draught bringing a light headed clarity to Kev's head.

“You coming?” said Anya over the music, “Remember, I dance to your stuff if you dance to mine, thats what we agreed on.”

“Just finishing this first”. Kev gestured to his beer, knowing that he was just making excuses.

He looked to the dance floor again and dancing in the group with wanger was what ccould only be described as a bloke in a dress. Long hair, beard, chest hair, pink nurses outfit, hairy legs and biker boots.

Kev necked his beer. If someone else was going to look daft, he can too.

“Right, come on..” he said to Anya, who grinned knowingly.

They joined the others just as the fast bit was starting, cutting in opposite the hairy nurse bloke and started to dance.

“...taken my soul, taken my hearing, left me with life in hell.....” they squealed along to the song. Kev did this every week even though he loved Metallica, because he loved winding up those people who took themselves seriously much more.

Those he was dancing with took several minutes to notice Kev and Anya, being too absorbed in the song.

The song had to end however and when it did, Kev gave Anya a big hug, wrapping his arms around her neck and giving her a big wet kiss. The others noticed them then all right.

They broke apart to much cheering! Comments such as “Cool, lezzers!” and “Can we watch!” were uttered.

Anya blushed. Kev had got so into the song he had forgotten completely ho he was dressed. She noticed that some were taking a double take of Kev at this time.

“Bloody hell!” said the bloke in the nurses outfit, “Thats a bloke!” he exclaimed.

“No wonder he was kissing her like that!” said another. “Oh well, another fantasy shattered!”

Kev wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole, such was his embarrassment.

The next song was being played, Ghostbusters by Xentrix. The rest of them started to dance to this, losing themselves in the music again.

Kev turned to go, but was stopped by Stu. “Stay man, we are all mates here!”

“No way, you heard 'em!”

“Don't worry, it'll be right”

Kev, not convinced went and sat back down at the table. Anya was not long returning either.

-

A Little later Stu joined them. The current song being played was Peace sells by Megadeth.

“Shite man, can't get over how you look!” said Stu. “If I was a little more pissed, I'd go for yer!”

“Hands off, he's mine!” said Anya with a smile.

“Still, how in the name of shite did yer manage it Grammy?” said Stu.

“Ask her “, said Kev, gesturing toward Anya, “she worked her witchcraft on me”.

“Well, you can't be gay, what with a girl and all..”

Anya broke in, “I can assure you he is definitely not gay!”

“Glad thats settled”, put in Kev, “need a pint!”

“Me too!” said Stu, “I'll help”.

Stu picked up the chair Kev was at in, complete with Kev and carried him to the bar, much to the amusement of the increasing crowd of punters.

“Look like girl, will treat like girl!” said Stu with a grin.

“Don't care, want beer!” said Kev, who was starting the 'happily tipsy' stage of drunkenness.

Stu put the chair down and said “I'll get these, just been paid!”.

A few moments later, Stu handed Kev 3 glasses, all pints and containing cloudy green drink. “Hold these for a mo”. He then picked up the chair and Stu and carried them back to the table. Stu put the drinks on the table.

“Green death each, Anya, Kev”.

“What the fucks a green death?” said Kev.

“Cider, Pernod, Blue Bols, vodka, topped up with lager”.

“Cool”, said Anya, who took a large swig.

Kev did the same. “Cool!”

Kev decided at that moment that if, dressed like he is, is going to get free drinks, then he shall continue until drunkenness held full dominion. No change there then!

They sat and talked for a while, the conversation moving on to the usual, work, mates, music and the like.

A little later, Kev was feeling all the stuff he had drunk.

“I'm busting for the loo.” he stood up.

“This I have got to see!” said Stu.

“Me too!” said wanger, who was returning from the dance floor with Freya, both dripping sweat from all the dancing.

---

 
To Be Continued...