Chapter one:

It’s not like I’d been hoping things would turn out this way. All I’d wanted to do was save Zoe, y’know? Turns out like many things in life, it’s not that simple. Why? We didn’t even make it back to the hotel. See, trying to start a fight in the middle of a sporting event is one thing (not to mention pretty dumb). Doing it in front of a national audience is something else. On top of that, there’s the bonus of being celebrities now.

Remember how I told you that this was the big warm up for the Winter X games? Events like that tend to draw big names. And when you draw big names, you get live television coverage. The kind with cameras that might take notice of a fight breaking out in the corporate seats. TV networks didn’t make a big deal out of it, but the internets? Keyboard cat didn’t rack up this many hits on YouTube.

Of course, I didn’t find out any of this until we’d made it back to the hotel. The local police had picked us up shortly after Zoe and I had tried to make our escape, taking the two of us back to the station for questioning. They patched Zoe up, along with dragging Stacey and her father in for good measure. Long story short, we were let off with a stern warning. In spite of the spectacle we’d made, nobody wanted to press charges. On top of that, Zoe’s dad pulled a few strings with members of the board to ensure we were given a light treatment.

Once we were back at the hotel, Rachael was losing her mind, rambling incoherently about how videos of the fight were starting to go viral over the web (if you don’t know what that is, look it up. I’m too tired to explain it now), with several sites hosting our cluster-fuck on their front page. I couldn’t tell if she was mad at us for fighting, or that she wasn’t there to join in.

I couldn’t find Travis either. He was long gone after we’d left the station, no doubt having caught his ride back to civilization. Great... Just when things were looking up, it’s all gone to crap in a heartbeat. I should have known the other shoe would drop sooner or later.

What ensured from there was pretty pathetic to watch. Rachael eventually gave up, resigned to the fact that no amount of bitching could fix the mess we’d put ourselves in. Zoe retreated to the bedroom to lick her wounds, whereas I opted to fall into the leather sofa and feel sorry for myself. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I regret anything I’ve done. But you have to admit, this is a pretty lousy way to end a road trip. Zoe was beat up, Rachael was ticked off, and me….well, I guess I was just frustrated.

I’d taken my best shot at Travis and struck out. I shouldn’t really be surprised; after all it’s not like I know how to use my feminine wiles or anything. I guess what upset me was that it really showed me how far I still had to go: My road had only just started, and there was still a world of difference between being the girl I was now, and who I wanted to become. My flames didn’t yet have the strength to propel me that far.

Most of the day was wasted, with only a few hours left until night would begin to fall. I lay back against the sofa, staring at the ceiling while Rachael paced back and forth, stir crazy over everything that had transpired. She finally stopped and looked at me with an expectant glare in her eyes.

“You guys are fucked when you get back to Delacroix, you know that right?”

“I figured as much.” I muttered, knowing that half the kids in school have probably seen the video of our antics by now.

“Jesus Faye, why did you do that?” Rachael let out a sigh. “Bad enough that Zoe was taken down, but you should know by now that you can’t handle Stacey. I mean, look what happened at the mall.”

“Maybe I’m a slow learner.”

“Great, that’s just…great.” She threw her hands up in exasperation. “So now what do we do?”

“Hell if I know.” I said reluctantly. “We’re supposed to be leaving tomorrow anyway, right?”

“That’s the plan.” Zoe acknowledged from where she lay on the bed, still nursing an icepack against her bruised face.

Rachael ran a hand through her hair. “Right, so we’ve only got a few hours left until sundown.”

“What do you want Rach?” I was starting to feel frustration creep into my voice. “It’s too late to go out riding, Zoe’s too messed up go anywhere, and the pipe jam will be over by now.”

Rachael paused for a moment. “Fine, I’m going to head downstairs to the store. If we’re going to spend the night in, I may as well get us some chocolate and a few movies so we can really throw ourselves a pity party.”

She grabbed her purse and proceeded to head down to the elevators, which left Zoe and I by ourselves. I pulled myself off of the couch and walked to where she lay on the futon.

Zoe looked back at me with her good eye, smiling just a bit. “Felling any better?”

“Kinda. I think the swelling is going down.” She pulled the ice pack away, revealing a black eye glistening from the condensation pooling against it. It was looking better, that’s for sure. Of course it’s still a black eye, so it’s not like she’ll be winning any beauty pageants for a while.

Zoe had a strange look on her face, like she was tasting her words before she spoke. “Faye, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to ask you about.”

“Shoot.” I sat down on my futon, making myself comfortable.

She took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. For a moment, it seemed like those words were unpalatable. Then finally, she spoke. “It’s about Rachael. “

“What’s your point?” I leant back, stretching just a bit. “It’s not like you haven’t told me how you feel about her already.”

Zoe shook her head. “That’s not what I mean. You need to tell her, about…well, everything I guess. I think she deserves to know.”

I shifted uncomfortably where I sat. “What are you talking about?”

Zoe sat up so that she was facing me, her tone deadly serious. “Remember that time when we went down to the boardwalk? You met up with that Amy chick and talked to her for a while.”

My chest tightened just a touch. “Not so much, why?”

Zoe stared at me, daring me to hold her gaze. “I wasn’t asleep when you were talking. I heard everything.”

This is not happening.

“At first, I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t…What you were talking about isn’t physically possible. But the more I’ve been watching you, the more it makes sense. You’re afraid of guys, you’re clueless about the most basic girl-behaviour, you’re aggressive, your hygiene sucks…I mean, do I have to go on?”

How could I have been so careless? I’d already seen past examples of Zoe seemingly off in her own world, only to be paying perfect attention to all that went on around her. Instead of bearing that in mind, I’d been so focused on Amy that I never stopped to think that Zoe could have been listening to our conversation.

I stared at my feet, unsure of what could be said in my defence. There was no reason to lie at this point. After all, Zoe wouldn’t have bought this up until she’d made certain there was no mistake.

I shrugged my shoulders, looking at her meekly “Yeah, it’s true.”

“Wow.” She muttered “I mean, I knew…but still, it’s hard to believe, you know?”

“I don’t blame you. I never would have believed it either.”

Zoe looked at me curiously. “You should have talked to me. I’ve been trying to give you a chance to open up.”

I blinked, surprised at what she was suggesting. However, I realized there had been times where Zoe had implied she knew more than she was letting on. I’d just never considered she was trying to make me open up about the truth.

“What was I supposed to do? I thought you’d figure I was crazy.”

Zoe stood up, setting the ice pack on the bedside table. “You don’t understand, Faye…How do I know what’s real about you and what’s something you made up?

“That’s not fair. You know I can’t just prove I’m telling the truth on the spot. What do you want me to tell you?” I asked bitterly, feeling as though my world could collapse at any moment.

Zoe bit her lip, hesitating for a moment. “This isn’t just something you can brush off. This is a big deal to me. Trust is a big deal.”

I could already feel tears welling behind my eyes. “I don’t know what else I can do.”

Zoe shook her head. “What do you want Faye…why are you putting yourself through this?”

“What do you mean?”

Zoe narrowed her eyes. “You could have gone back to your family. You could have run away and started over somewhere else. What was so good about this life that it was worth lying for?”

I slumped my shoulders, overwhelmed by the futility of the situation. “I don’t know.”

“That’s not good enough.” Zoe clenched her teeth. “You didn’t decide to go back to school for nothing. You didn’t make friends with Rachael because it was convenient. You didn’t pick this life for no reason.”

Desperation welled up inside of me, my body trembling as I struggled for answers. “I…don’t know.”

Zoe grabbed my shirt, curling it up in her fist as she pulled her face toward mine. For a moment I couldn’t see a difference between her and Stacey, until she finally spoke. “I’ve been waiting all this time for you to fess up. I wanted to hear you tell me, not force me drag it out of you. Why should I keep helping someone who doesn’t trust me even that much?”

“I don’t know!” I closed my eyes, feeling the tears rolling down my cheeks even as I struggled to find the words “The only thing I do know is that you and Rachael are all that’s helped me through this. And I don’t’ want to lose that!”

My words hung in the air for what felt like an eternity. Slowly, I felt her hand loosen from my shirt and her grip fade away. I fell back against the bed, feeling a deep sadness within me start to swell up, bursting through any restraint I used to contain it.

I felt myself let go.

All the frustration and humiliation I’d endured, all the pain and suffering… they flowed out of me like a raging torrent. I held my face in my hands and sobbed uncontrollably, howling as I fought to stem the tide of emotion.

Zoe spoke again, disdain fading from her voice. “I guess that’s enough then.”

I wiped at the tears, trying to find a way to compose myself. “I’m so sorry. I never should have lied to you.”

She nodded lightly. “If there’s one rule I’ve lived by, it’s that friends who lie to you are trash.”

“But…” A smile touched her lips. “Friends who don’t take care of one another are worse trash.”

--------------------------------------------

When Rachael came back, I had to tell her everything. Like the whole story, from start to finish. Moving to Delacroix, the haunted room, starting high school, every last detail of my new life until this point. To my complete lack of surprise, she didn’t believe a word I’d said. Sure, she knew I was a complete failure as a girl, but she’d already figured that was due to crappy parenting. Occam’s Razor and all that. So her reasoning entailed that this was an elaborate prank Zoe and I had cooked up while she was down at the store.

So what did it take to convince her? Uhm….a lot. Even Zoe vouching for me didn’t help (like I should have expected she’d ever trust Zoe). Instead, she continued to go about putting candy into bowls, and setting up the blu-ray player like this wasn’t even happening.

Eventually Rachael was forced to acknowledge my protests, folding her arms and looking at me expectantly while she set down the remote.

“Why should I believe you? This has to be the stupidest thing you’ve ever tried to pull.”

I gave her a somewhat deadpan look “If I was going to lie to you Rach, I’d say you’re an attractive, intelligent individual whose taste in friends is beyond reproach.”

Rachael’s lips twisted into a sneer “You’re not helping your case.”

“Okay, lemme lay my cards on the table.” I said, trying to look as serious as I could. “This isn’t a lie, it’s not a trick. It’s not some devious plot to make an ass of you, Kay? It’s the truth.”

She let out a frustrated sigh, rolling her eyes. “Good god, I can’t believe I’m actually considering this.”

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

“You wait for me to say yes then rip on me mercilessly?” She shot back.

“I can see how that’s a possibility.” Zoe said, sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Your case: Not helping. Remember?” Rachael muttered.

I placed my hands on Rachael’s shoulders, looking straight into her eyes. “This is my serious face, kay? I’m not lying. I was really a guy before I met you.”

Rachael was still looking at me dubiously, until her resolve finally began to crack. “Oh crap…you’re not lying, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Oh my god!” She cried, gushing as she tried to contain herself. “I can’t believe this!”

I raised an eyebrow, mildly confused as this was totally not what I had expected. “Wait, you’re not mad that I’ve been keeping this from you?”

“Why would I be?” She said. “Everyone has their own secrets, right? Not like I tell you everything about my life.”

Zoe frowned, looking away without saying a word. Rachael on the other hand, couldn’t contain the sudden build up of energy. “So what’s it like?”

My cheeks flushed, finding myself caught off guard by her eagerness. “Dunno, weird. I’m getting used to it though.”

Rachael grasped my arm, pulling me to the couch as she sat down beside me. “Come on, you need to tell me all the details. What’s the whole experience like; is it better to be a guy or a girl?”

I rubbed the back of my neck, blushing lightly. “I dunno, this only happened a few weeks ago. I’m still trying to adjust. It’s hard to compare. Being a guy is cool and all, and I’m a lot more used to it. I felt a lot more fearless when I was a guy.”

“So you don’t like this?”

“I didn’t say that!” I shook my head. “It’s just that this is more…refined, I guess. It’s like the difference between a tree and a flower, if that makes any sense. It’s the same in one way, but now I feel luscious, so wondrous and fragile compared to before.”

“Wow…” She was watching me in rapt attention. “This is the most awesome secret anyone has ever had. Ever. So, what else is there?”

“This isn’t twenty-questions.” I muttered darkly.

“Hell yes it is! This is a once in a lifetime chance, I’m not going to pass it up.”

I rolled my eyes, resigning myself to the Spanish Inquisition. “Okay, what’s next?”

“How old are you really?”

“Twenty three. I don’t know how old I am now, we just guessed it was around fifteen or so.”

“Seems pretty accurate.” She smiled. “How about that Amy girl, who was she?”

“That’s off limits. Next question.”

“Tch, fine.” Rachael paused, opting for a different plan of attack. “How do you like having boobs?”

I shifted uneasily on the sofa. “Uhm…let’s not go there.”

Her smile grew wider, noting my discomfort. “Played with them yet?”

“No.” I replied flatly.

“Fiddled with anything downstairs?”

“Ugh, god no!”

Rachael giggled gleefully, bouncing up and down on the sofa. “Holy crap! You haven’t had an orgasm, have you?”

I gritted my teeth, feeling my cheeks flush bright red. “No….”

“Oh man, when we get back to Delacroix, I’m going to blow your fucking mind!” Rachael packed so much salt in the wound there wasn’t room for anything else.

“How could you pass up an offer like that?” Zoe hopped off the counter where she sat.

Rachael pouted, turning her attention to Zoe. “Come on Zoe, you see what I’m getting at here.”

“Oh, I get it.” She sauntered over to the leather couch opposite us, taking a seat. “But if I let you keep going like this, we’re going to be at it all night. I thought we were going to watch a movie?”

“….Fine.” She conceded, walking over to where she’d stashed the disks. As she walked away, I looked at Zoe and silently mouthed the words “Thank you.”

Moments later, Rachel returned carrying a few separate cases in her hands. “I get another twenty questions tomorrow, kay?”

I folded my arms and sighed. “Sure, whatever.”

Rachael smiled as she popped the disc into the player. “Besides Faye, you’re about to take part in an ancient ritual that’s been passed down from mother to daughter for generations. This should be a good learning experience for you.”

“We’re going to have pillow fights?”

“No dumbass.” She tossed a few cushions from sofa to the floor and lay down atop of them. “We’re going to sit around, watch movies, bitch vehemently and discuss who’s cute.”

“I must have missed that class.” Zoe commented slyly, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

“You would.” Rachael groaned.

Zoe crammed the whole handful into her mouth at once, while I did my best to look deeply unimpressed. First up was one of those dumb romantic comedies, you know, where the guy is like a super-ladies-man who meets the one girl who won’t fall for his charms. So he does the logical thing, and performs the most stupid assed tricks he can to get her attention. Rachael chatted idly through the film; kind of her own running commentary while trying to see if I was warming up to the plot.

The funny thing is, as a guy, this kind of movie would be totally dumb. I’d been forced to sit through them before, and for the most part they sucked pretty badly. I dunno, maybe as a girl I was looking at things differently. I kinda felt sorry for the heroine, and I was actually relieved when they finally hooked up by the end of the film.

Hah. Had you going there, didn’t I? Romantic comedies suck out loud, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Anyways, Rach really did keep chatting away as best she could through the film, except Zoe kept telling her to shut up every chance she had. When that failed, she began pelting Rachael with Skittles. From the look of things, neither effort really dampened her enthusiasm. I think she was hoping to provoke a reaction out of me, like I would jump up and suddenly announce that the lead actor was hot or something. Honestly, she’s enjoying this way too much.

As the credits rolled, I noticed it had already grown dark outside. Snow had stopped falling, leaving the night sky a shimmering blanket of stars that stretched beyond the horizon. I stood up and walked to the window, looking down at the people milling about the resort below. Zoe moved beside me, joining in as I watched life carrying on about us, irrespective of my own problems.

“So what are you thinking about now?” She asked quietly.

“I’m thinking…” I paused, smiling as I looked at her. “That all things considered, this day could have been a lot worse.”

She chuckled. “What did you expect?”

I rubbed my neck idly. “I don’t know. I guess I was worried you’d think I was a freak or something.”

She smiled nonchalantly in return. “Maybe I do. But that doesn’t mean I care about you any less.”

“Way to make it awkward, Zoe.” Rachael chimed in from where she lay.

I couldn’t help but laugh, turning away from the window. I’d said a while ago that I was fond of the idea of friends, that I was attracted to the word itself. Everything changes in time. Yesterday’s friend can be tomorrow’s enemy. The only thing that’s certain is what life has in front of you.

This won’t last. As much as I want it to, I know that eventually Zoe, Rachael and I might all drift apart. It’s a cold reality of life. But you know what? I don’t care. Travis told me that his road was like snow falling from the sky: That all he wanted was his moment of perfection, knowing it would vanish until the next snowflake drifted down from the heavens.

I’m not like Travis. Our roads are not the same, leading us each on a different path through life. But right here, right now, this moment of perfection is all I could ever want.

Chapter two:

The next day we packed our bags and prepared for the trip back to Delacroix. My head was still spinning, reeling from the implications of everything that had transpired over the trip. Just think about it for a second: I woke up on Saturday, not expecting that by Tuesday my entire life would be turned on its head. Kinda like waking up as a girl when you know you’re a guy, but let’s not dwell on that.

So much has changed in the space of only a few days, it’s hard to know where to start. New philosophies, new bonds and new beliefs. It’s been so chaotic and yet so wonderful, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret that I was leaving. I guess parting is really a sweet sorrow after all.

Rachael, Zoe and I spent the morning loading up Zoe’s SUV, fixing boards to the roof and doing last-minute searches of our suite to make sure nothing had been forgotten. Not sure if it ever happens to you, but I always forget something. Today it was my toothbrush, which had somehow made its way into the fridge. Don’t ask.

I took a moment to get one final look at the mountain, knowing it would be my last. I inhaled sharply, taking in a much of the fresh mountain air as I could. It was a clear, sunny day: The kind of perfect blue sky that felt like it stretched on forever, but was close enough that you could reach out and touch it.

I opened the car door and climbed into the passenger seat, just as Rachael slipped into the rear. Zoe turned the key in the ignition, causing the engine to complain bitterly about the cold before roaring to life. Before I knew it we were making our way down the mountain pass, on our way back to civilization.

Once we were cruising down the highway, I heard Rachael shut off the handheld game she’d been playing. She was stretched out across the back of the car, her head propped up by a pillow against the window. She glanced in my direction, making sure I wasn’t doing anything before speaking up.

“Hey Faye, I’ve been thinking about last night.”

My heart sank. Whatever Rachael was about to say, I knew I wouldn’t like it. “Yeah, what about it?”

“I dunno, I was just wondering if you had a plan for what you were doing.” She asked in an offhand manner. “You didn’t really mention anything about what you were planning to do once you’d made it back into school.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess I never really thought that far ahead.”

“Makes sense, I suppose.”

“Oh, like you’ve got a plan?” I shot back.

“Sure I do. Live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse.” She quipped.

I smacked my forehead, surprised I hadn’t expected that kind of response. “Just ask me already.”

“Ask you what?” She queried innocently.

“Whatever it is you really want to ask, instead of hiding behind dumbassed questions like that.”

“I guess there’s no getting past you.” She grumbled. “I was just curious about…well, you.”

I held my palm against my skull, as though it could somehow contain the loathing that swelled with every word she spoke “How so?”

She twisted about, enough that she was able to sit with her head over my shoulder. “I want to know about you, Faye. Do you really like who you are?”

“I don’t hate it. It’s just…I dunno, I’m trying to get used to it.”

Rachael furrowed her brow “What do you mean?”

“Okay look, it’s like this.” I turned about in my seat so that I could face her. “This isn’t just about gender, kay? It’s not just about being a girl. I don’t care about how I look. Yeah, I’ve got boobs now. So what?”

“So what are you getting at?” She looked at me quizzically.

“What I’m getting at is the mental stuff. I haven’t even started to think about anything physical beyond what I absolutely have to.”

Rachael looked at me dubiously “Come on, what’s so difficult about being female?”

“Are you kidding me? Okay, lemme get the list.” I started counting off my fingers, just for dramatic effect. “One: I’m a midget who can’t fight for crap.”

“Your point?”

I shot her a look that could fry lead. “I was nearly seven feet tall and could bench over two hundred pounds!”

Rachael quickly conceded defeat on that point. “Okay, granted…what else you got?”

I let out a long sigh, displeased that she’d skipped to the next point so quickly. “Okay, how about this? Two: I’m terrified of the fact that I might like guys.”

Zoe seemed surprised by what I’d said, interjecting before Rachael could respond. “You didn’t seem that way yesterday when you were hanging with Travis.”

“That’s my point!” I cried with a mixture of frustration and embarrassment. “I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it! So eventually I just gave in and decided to go with the flow. Now I don’t know what to think…”

Rachael’s curiosity was clearly piqued. Still, she knew better than to force the issue and decided to take it nice and easy instead. “So you’re not into girls any more?”

My cheeks were hot enough to cook breakfast. “No…well, okay…I guess I don’t know. I haven’t really tried.”

“What do you mean then?” That hint of perverse pleasure was creeping into her voice again.

I shook my head. “I kinda tried looking at magazines and porn a couple of times after it happened. Nothing did it for me, so I just wrote it off as stress. It’s not like I was throwing myself at guys either, you know.”

“Really?” She narrowed her eyes, wicked smile spreading across her face. “I’m going to have to test this theory of yours.”

“Whatever.” I rubbed my eyes, trying to rid myself of the weird squirmy sensations that were tangled up inside of me.

“So what else is there?” Zoe cut in, again my savoir-of-the-changing-subject.

“Ugh, I dunno….I had a period once the changes had stopped. Christ, I thought I was going to bleed to death.”

At this point Rachael was clearly locked in a deadly struggle to keep from laughing to death.

“Yeah, keep it up chuckles.” I muttered.

“Sorry, sorry!” She pleaded, trying to regain her composure. “I know, that was rude.”

Her apology might have carried more weight if it wasn’t followed by another vicious giggle fit. I waited patiently until she’d worked it out of her system before continuing. “Yeah, well that’s how I felt about it, kay? Call me over zealous.”

“Drama queen?”

“Die in a fire.” I hissed.

“Okay, I get it.” Rachael finally managed to compose herself, speaking in a deliberately clear and respectful tone. “Anything else you’ve left out?”

I rolled my tongue against my lips, trying to conjure up memories I’d worked so hard to seal away. “Just, everything about it I guess. It’s like someone’s taken my brain and rewired it. I’m used to trying to block out every sensation, like I can categorize and store them away for future reference.”

I knew by her expression that she didn’t understand. I shook my head, trying to elaborate “Now everything is different….I want to smother myself in the most rapturous pleasures the world can offer. I want to cry until I run out of tears. I want to scream at the top of my lungs.”

Rachael nodded her head after contemplating all that I’d said. “I guess I can see what you’re driving at.”

“Just nod and smile.” Zoe offered.

She ignored Zoe, instead choosing to focus on what I’d said earlier. Her tone shifted, sounding almost like she felt a pang of regret. “So you don’t know anything about your body?”

“Just the basics.” I shrugged nonchalantly; trying to sound like this wasn’t the most awkward thing I’ve ever discussed. “I’m starting to get used to it, I guess. To be honest, there’s only one time I’ve really tried to look at myself naked.”

“You’re kidding me.” Her voice was ripe with disbelief.

I rolled my eyes. “I wish.”

“Jesus, that’s just wrong.” She muttered. “You’re really beautiful Faye, you shouldn’t be ashamed of that.”

I blinked, trying to understand if I’d heard her correctly. Beautiful? The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. All I saw in the mirror was a stranger staring back. Wether she was attractive or not never figured into the equation.

“Well, thanks…I suppose.” I stammered. “But you don’t need to say that to make me feel better.”

Rachael shook her head. “I’m not. It’s wrong Faye. No matter how it happened, you’re stuck with who you are now. You shouldn’t be ashamed of it.”

My chest tightened as I spoke. “I’m really trying, Rach. It’s hard to get accustomed to this so quickly. But I do want to.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

She smiled, gently placing her hand on mine. “Then I’ll be right by your side.”

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By the time we’d made it back to Delacroix, the sun was already setting behind a row of hills that marked the horizon. Rachael had dropped her gear off at home before returning to the car, having decided to spend a little more time with yours truly. She didn’t mention exactly why, though I was quite sure it was because she was all too curious about my male heritage. Of course, she’d hidden that behind statements about how her parents were ticked that she’d been gone for too long, so she’d rather give them time to cool off. Kinda made me wonder if she had a summer home in the State of Delusion.

Zoe’s SUV rolled up the gravel driveway to my home, coming to a gentle halt just behind Nick’s Camero. I clambered out of the passenger seat, glad to finally stretch my legs. Zoe passed me my duffel bag, deciding she’d rather stay in the car than join us.

“Aren’t you going to stick around some?” I slung the bag over my shoulder.

“Nope.” She smiled, looking at me through the window. “There’s a documentary on the discovery channel I’m dying to catch.”

“You’re a filthy liar.”

“Probably…but I’m beat from the drive. Besides, Rachael looks like she has something she wants to get off her chest.”

I raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. “What, about everything that’s happened with me? It can’t be that big a deal.”

“Who knows? Anyways, I’m not sticking around to find out.” She smiled, putting the car into gear and backing out of the driveway. I watched as she sped off into the distance, not really sure if she needed to have some time to herself, or wether she really was just worn out from the trip. Probably both, I guess.

Rachael waited for Zoe to disappear before she turned to me. “Come on, lets get inside already.”

“What’s your big hurry?” I asked, fumbling through my pockets for the keys.

“After eight hours in a car, I really need a bath to unwind.”

I slid the key into the lock, opening the door. “We don’t have a bath.”

“Fine. Shower, whatever you’ve got.”

When we strode inside, Nick was already sitting at his computer playing some kind of online fantasy game. Empty packs of Cheetos and Pringles were strewn about the desk where he sat. He glanced at me lazily, headphones hanging around his neck. “Welcome back.”

“Hey.” I muttered, setting my bag down as I walked inside. “Did you get my note?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” His attention was already back on the computer, tapping away at the keyboard and mouse. “It’s cool, I figured you’d call if you needed anything.”

Rachael glanced at Nick, not really sure what to say. It’s not like she disliked him or anything, more the fact that they just never really had much to talk about. Kinda like two people on different wave lengths. Or different polarities. I need to pay more attention in science class.

I walked into my bedroom, feeling a strange sense of relief wash over me. What is it about returning home after a trip that always feels so good? I wasn’t really sure. Instead I fell onto my bed, landing on the soft duvet as the tension of the last three days began to slowly ebb away. I could hear Rachael in the bathroom down the hall, already locking the door as she prepared a shower for herself.

Why shouldn’t I relax anyway? To tell the truth, it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My big secret; an identity that I couldn’t admit to anyone but myself was finally out of the bag, and my friends didn’t hate me for it. In fact, things were already feeling like they were getting back to normal.

No more secrets, no more lies. I was free to be myself again.

So where was I going with my life anyway? It was a good question, even if Rachael didn’t mean it. Okay, sure, I’ve put my life back together, become a part of teenage culture and seemingly vanquished the evil of Sickness that plagued my mind. I can pretty much cross those off my to-do list.

Though instead of being satisfied, I suddenly felt as though I didn’t have any direction. It was sobering thought; realizing that I’d achieved so much, but didn’t have anywhere left to go beyond that.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I suddenly felt normal or something, or completely at home with who I am.

I was riding the flame road, but where it led to was my decision to make. Saying your want to be stronger, to have the power to help your friends and loved ones isn’t the problem: It’s how you reach that goal. How do I achieve everything I’ve decided is worth living for?

I sat bolt upright, blinking as a mop of bluish hair fell into my eyes. I can’t just sit here wasting time. I need to get things moving forward again. If I hesitate too long, I might just get too comfortable with how my life is now. Right now I have all this momentum, so much progress that I’ve made. I can’t afford to lose it now. I need t–

My train of thought came to a jarring halt when I heard the door crack open behind me. I turned about, half expecting Nick to be standing there, ready to chastise me for leaving without any notice. Instead Rachael calmly strode in, a towel wrapped above her chest. Her skin still glistened with small drops of water. I could even smell the faint perfume of shampoo lingering in the air.

I sighed, frustrated with her lousy timing. “Did you need to borrow some clothes or something?”

She stood before me, wet hair still clinging to her skin. Without a single word, she reached down to where the towel clung to her body, and loosened its hold enough that it fell to the floor.

Rachael.

She looked like a goddess. Milky white skin that didn’t betray a single flaw, curves that were shaped by the hands of an artist. It wasn’t that she was naked that took my breath away. It wasn’t her expression that didn’t know wether to be amused or frightened that I wouldn’t stop staring. It’s that she was perfect.

Perfect in the ways all I’d always dreamt of a girl. She wasn’t like a model, or a girl you’d find spread across a centrefold. Her body was honest. Her breasts were small but strangely perky, with small dark nipples that stood out from the cold. There was a mole next to her belly button, leading your eye down to the sweet womanhood between her legs. Nothing was exaggerated or understated. Everything had a unique and wondrous quality.

She didn’t wait for me to respond, clearly not realizing it was taking all my concentration just to draw my next breath. Instead she calmly lay down beside me on the bed, close enough that I could feel warmth from the shower radiating off her skin. I waited, hoping that she might say something to break the silence.

Instead she simply closed her eyes, waiting for me to make the next move. I blinked, staring at her in disbelief. I could feel my life ticking by with every second of the clock that sat beside my bed.

“Uh, Rach…?”

A smile played upon her lips, breaking her calm exterior. “Don’t make me spell it out for you.”

Gears stripped themselves, snapping pistons as my mind struggled for a response. “Uh, still a guy in here, remember?”

Rachael propped herself up on her elbows, clearly frustrated that I’d spoilt the mood. “You said you didn’t know if you liked guys or girls, right? So let’s answer that question.”

I blinked, barely able to comprehend what she was proposing. “You’re tossing me a mercy fuck?”

“If you really want to call it that.” She fell back against the bed, letting out a long sigh.

I let my eyes wander over her, all the while my heart was threatening to rip itself from my chest. “Um…okay, like…how should I start then?”

“Oh my god!” Rachael’s eyes fluttered open, filled with disbelief. “You’ve never done this before, have you?”

“I have!” I protested, searching for whatever male bravado I had left. “Just…not often. And not like this. And definitely not as a girl.”

Rachael ran a hand through her hair, trying not to let her frustration get the better of her. “Okay, just start with my boobs, okay? I kinda need to get in the mood.”

“Okay…” I bit my lip, wondering if fate really does have a sense of irony. As a guy I barely ever spoke to girls, let alone made it to second base. Now here I was with one of the most beautiful girls I’d ever seen, and I was so dumbstruck I couldn’t think of a single thing to do.

I leant towards her hesitantly, distantly aware of the fact that I was still fully clothed as opposed to her naked flesh. I still wasn’t really sure if I felt anything. I mean, I felt something that was kinda like arousal, but I wasn’t sure if it was the genuine article, or just my male ego trying to compensate.

My lips brushed against the soft, yielding flesh of her breast, closing about her nipple and kissing it softly. Rachael spoke up, her voice a little more husky now as she tried to slip into the role. “Mhmmm, that’s good…”

I let my tongue swirl about, frantically trying to think of ways to mask the fact I was completely terrified. I pulled back slowly, licking my lips as I forced a smile. “You’ve got really nice boobs.”

Strangely, her eyes were closed as I looked at her, but she was smiling all the same. “Thanks, I made them myself.”

I moved in again, letting my hand slip around one of her breasts while I gently kissed the other. My heart sank as she spoke up again, obviously feeling that she needed to give me directions. “No, don’t do that…uhm, geez…why don’t you rub my crotch a little, okay? Just not too hard.”

Reluctantly, I slipped my hand away from her breast, trailing it down her abdomen. I found the small patch of hair that marked her vagina and began to rub softly with the tips of my fingers.

“That’s not it.” She quipped. “…Lower.”

Ever felt like you just wanted the earth to swallow you up?

As I searched for Rachael’s sweet spot, I felt her arms move to my waist and grab a hold of my shirt, gathering it up before sliding the garment up my stomach.

“What are you doing?” My arms drew back from her body as she tugged the shirt away from me.

“If I have to be naked, then so do you.” She calmly stated.

I hung my head dejectedly, resigned to this one way or the other. I wriggled about next to her, trying to pull off my pants as she fumbled with the clasp of my bra. Once they were down far enough, I tried to kick them away, only to succeed in striking Rachael’s thigh at the same time. She yelped in pain and frustration, casting a scornful look at me.

“Sorry!” I cried apologetically.

“Never mind…” She muttered as my bra came free. It slid effortlessly down my arms; all the while her eyes were fixated on the sight of my breasts.

“What?” I was feeling self conscious now, waiting for her to break the stare.

“Nothing!” She protested, smile spreading across her face. “I just think it’s so funny that a guy has bigger tits than I do.”

“Shut up!” I pouted, covering them with my hands.

“Oh god, you really are a drama queen!” Rachael reached up and gently took my hands, pulling them away. I didn’t resist, instead trying to relax and find a modicum of control.

“Okay, I’m naked now. Happy?”

Rachael lifted an eyebrow. “You’re still wearing panties.”

“Almost naked.” I corrected.

“Fine…” Her hands drifted away from my arms, coming to rest on the swell of my bare breasts. Rachael began to rub her fingers, ever so lightly, back and forth across my nipples. “Are you feeling wet?”

I nodded slowly, pleasure crossing my face like a shadow. It was probably the weirdest sensation I’d had since I’d become a girl: So delicious, but kinda icky at the same time. I closed my eyes, leaning back just enough to press my chest into Rachael’s hands.

“Good.” I felt one of her hands draw away from my chest, trailing a finger down the curve of my hips far enough as to hint at its destination.

“It's not all about penetration, you know.” I could feel her fingertips now tracing along the edge of my panties, teasing me with the promise of carnal delights to come. “But you’ll learn that this is definitely the most sensual part of your body.“

I opened my eyes slowly; just enough to gaze down at Rachael’s smiling face. I let my tongue play against my lips, not really sure what to say. I was with another girl and instead of being the leader, I’d let her take control. She’d become the dominant one while I hadn’t even batted an eyelid.

Rachael’s expression darkened just a touch; her smile twisting into something more mischievous. “So, do you want to go all the way or what?”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Thought you’d never ask.”

Her thumbs hooked around the waist of my panties, gently tugging them down. In that moment she paused, eyes darting up to meet mine. “…Just promise me one thing.”

There wasn’t a thing in the world that was off limits. “Anything.”

“When this is over, don’t say that you love me.”

Chapter three:

When I awoke the next morning, it wasn’t because I was well rested. In fact, I couldn’t figure out why I found myself being roused from my slumber. Instead, all I knew was that I could feel something digging into my hip. I shifted in frustration, trying to get comfortable when I suddenly felt the warmth of the duvet vanish, yanked away from my bare skin.

Wait, since when did I sleep naked?

Before I’d even had a chance to open my eyes, events of last night rose to the surface of my mind like bubbles from a tar pit. Images of the night that had been raced through my thoughts, fast enough they kept slipping through my fingers. I remembered Rachael staying over, coming back to my room after a shower and…umm…wait…oh crap.

I let my eyes gradually creep open, the sight which greeted them instantly confirming what I already knew. Rachael lay beside me, her knee digging into my hip as she coveted the duvet all to herself. I wiped the sleep from my eyes, trying to brush away cobwebs from my thoughts while I struggled to think of what to do next.

Of course, it’s not like I was afraid of how Rachael might react if she woke up right now. Oh no. My fear was that Nick had spent an all-night gaming session to the orchestral backing of my cacophonic, rapturous cries echoing through the house.

As my mind began to clear, memories of what I’d done began to flow more steadily than before. I remember thrashing, moaning, kissing…I clasped a hand to forehead, trying to reconcile the flow that was rapidly swelling to a torrent. I’d done it…I mean, as a girl. Can you even understand how big a deal this is?

This hadn’t been just sex. On a scale of one to ten, one being your average Saturday night fling down at the Valentine household, and ten being the most depraved act of sexual theatre known to man, I’d have to say without me being immodest? About eleven.

Okay, so I’m overreacting.

Probably.

Maybe.

But why shouldn’t I? My first time ever having sex, and it was with my best fiend. Worse still, I hadn’t even been a guy when it had happened. Rachael didn’t force this upon me. I’d let her do it. I’d yearned for her to do it.

I even begged her to do it.

Gingerly, I pushed Rachael’s knee aside, shifting my weight enough to climb over her. I was on all fours, hovering over her as I attempted to make my way to the edge of the bed. Just as I was about to place a foot on the floor, Rachael stirred beneath me. Her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the light before gazing up at me, balanced over her like some erotic trapeze artist.

“Going somewhere?”

Crestfallen, I abandoned any notion of subtlety and fell back to the bed beside her. “Not really. I was just hoping to find Nick before you bumped into him.”

She stretched beneath the covers, letting out a soft groan as I heard several bones pop and crack. “What’s the problem?”

“That’s a dumb question.” I winced, picturing events of the previous night. “We made enough noise to wake the dead.”

Rachael giggled, brushing a lock of hair from my cheek. “Actually, most of that was you. Who knew deep down, our manly-man would be a screamer?”

I rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. “Don’t remind me. This is already going to take the rest of my life to reconcile without you adding to that deficit.”

“Forget it.” She said, pulling herself from the covers enough to kiss me softly on the lips. “By the time I’m done, you’ll never want to be male again.”

Just the taste of her lips was enough to get my heart pounding. I smiled weakly, trying to play it cool. “Is that a fact?”

“Mhmm.” She kissed me again, lips tasting like strawberries. “Just think of this as your reward for taking the first step.”

I hesitated, not really eager to spoil the mood. But a question pricked at the edge of my thoughts, refusing to be ignored any longer. “Rach, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but….I kinda need to know where we stand.”

Rachael rolled her eyes, making no effort to hide her mock-disgust. “Always the drama queen, aren’t you?”

“Come on, it’s a pretty reasonable question.” I narrowed my eyes. “And I’m not a drama queen.”

“What would you call it?”

“Drama king?” I ventured.

“Nice try.”

I was about to object when she pulled herself free of the covers, guiding herself over me. Her wonderfully soft butt came to rest on my hips, pushing down as she held me against the bed. She let her hands slide over my abdomen, teasing delicate flesh while she gazed at me with adoration.

Her fingernail slowly drew a path through the valley of my cleavage, and when she spoke her voice was dripping with irony. “Let’s make this really simple: I’ll give you three rules. All you need to do is follow them, think you can manage that?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nope.” She withdrew her hands, placing them on the curve of her hips. “Okay, the first thing is that we’re still friends. Not lovers, not girlfriends, not fuckbuddies. It’s just friends with benefits now. Got it?”

I’d by lying if I didn’t say my heart just sank a touch. “Alright.”

“Good.” She nodded approvingly. “Oh, and you can’t tell anyone about this.”

“Why the hell not?”

Rachael gave me a frustrated look. “You’re not a guy any more Faye. You can’t go around bragging about who you’ve slept with.”

“Don’t tell me you’re worried about people thinking you’re a slut.”

“Fuck no.” Rachael rolled her eyes. “You don’t understand. There’s a rumour mill you’ve never even seen at school. If they get so much as a whiff of blood in the water, being thought of as sluts will be the least of our trouble.”

I looked at her dubiously “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Ever seen Carrie?”

I felt my eyes widen in horror. “Oh crap.”

“Right.” She nodded. “So you have to promise not to tell anyone, at least for the moment.”

“Not even Zoe?”

“Especially not Zoe.” She hissed.

“Oookay.” I muttered, glancing away. “What’ the third rule?”

She stopped to ponder that for a moment, as though she hadn’t considered what the third rule might actually be. “Rule number three is….you have to tell me your name. Your real name.”

“No way. Not a possibility. Think of something else.”

“You heard me.” She leant in, close enough that soft lengths of hair were tickling my skin. “Otherwise benefits are off the table.”

I pouted lightly, frustrated that I was being manipulated so easily. “Fine.”

She didn’t move an inch, clearly enjoying her position far too much to relinquish it. “Okay, let’s start with number three.”

I paused, unable to find the words when I tried to speak. Why the tightness in my throat, why the hesitation? Thinking of myself as a guy with Rachael perched atop of me, pressing against my most intimate regions made it all the more difficult to delve into that past life.

I closed my eyes, summoning all the courage I could muster. In that moment, I was able to speak despite the defences that had been mounted around my thoughts. “Kane.”

“Really?” Her expression grew distant, as though she was thinking of something else. “No wonder…”

“Huh?”

She smiled, eyes snapping back into focus. “It’s a strong name.”

I couldn’t help but smile in spite of myself. Rachael wasn’t doing any of this out of any need for intimacy. Instead she was trying to make me comfortable with myself. She’d known since the day she had met me that I was the anti-girl: Someone who completely rejected who she was, despite her inability to change that disposition. She’d taken it upon herself to educate me, taking pity on the fact my complete ineptitude seemed to only draw attention to myself.

Now that she knew the reason, it seemed to only strengthen her resolve. She wasn’t content to sit by and help any more when the situation arose. Instead my revelation only proved how far I needed to go, and that she obviously needed to take a more proactive stance.

In short, Rachael had appointed herself as my mentor in all things female.

I felt her hands snake along my stomach, coming to rest atop the curve of my bare breasts. She squeezed them tenderly, her loving touch evoking a soft gasp from my lips. “Ohhh…quit that.”

Rachael shook her head, running a tongue along the edge of her lips. “I think your boobs are definitely your best feature. They’re so big and perky.”

“Gimme a break.” I pleaded weakly “That kind of talk is cruel and unusual.”

“It’s true!” She giggled gleefully “They might actually get larger, you know.”

I groaned softly, closing my eyes. “Are you serious?”

Rachael moved her lips to my ear, her low voice a seductive whisper. “Who knows? Most girls don’t stop filling out until the end of their teens.”

She drew back slowly, enough that she could study my expression. Rachael was deliberately teasing now, trying to see how much I could take before biting back.

I clenched my teeth, feeling rebellious despite the position I was in “If that’s true, then the same goes for you too.”

“Oh, it does…but I don’t think it’s something I have to worry about.” She bit her lip, trying to suppress a playful smile “Top-heavy has never really run in the family.”

“Can’t we talk about something else?” I pleaded, already worried about where this conversation might lead.

Rachael nodded thoughtfully, satisfied with my response. “Okay, let’s see…How do you feel about girls now?”

I smirked, knowing she was perfectly aware of the answer as she lay atop of me. “I’m pretty sure I’m into girls, thanks.”

“Just checking…” She said, looking away innocently.

I bit my lip, watching Rachael for a moment. “How come you’re such an expert anyway? When I was your age I’d barely discovered how to get myself off, much less anyone else.”

She drew a finger away from my chest, placing it against my lips like this was her own little secret. “My parents sent me away to camp last summer. Mom was trying to find stores across the state that would sell her pottery, and dad was always too busy run things with me around. While I was there, I met a girl who was one of the councillors.”

Rachael paused, trying to think of the right words. “She…taught me a lot.”

I looked up at Rachael, surprised that she would be so open about herself. I suppose she was feeling guilty that here I was, baring my soul (along with everything else) and she’d been paying her cards close to the chest. Realizing that perhaps she’d said too much, she simply blushed lightly and looked away. “Anyways, ever since I guess I’ve been more into girls.”

“Can’t say I regret you decision.” I mused playfully.

“I would never have guessed.” Rachael tossed her head back, the long mane of sandy blonde hair falling behind her shoulder. “So tell me… how does it feel as a girl, for your first time?”

A myriad of emotions swirled about in my mind. Sensations like pain, lust and bliss all drifting through my thoughts. The experience had been so different, so yielding. There was no rush, no race that needed to be won. Rachael had taken her time; played my body like a violin then cut the strings.

As if sensing my hesitation Rachael began to rub my breasts, squeezing them together softly. I gasped lightly, knowing she wouldn’t quit until I gave her an answer that satisfied her curiosity.

“ It was …kinda awkward, and a little embarrassing, but totally amazing at the same time.”

She lifted a delicate eyebrow. “Better than as a guy?”

I looked away, her question striking a deeper wall in my subconscious, one much more heavily fortified. “Don’t make me answer that.”

“What’s the matter?” Her resolve faded, but didn’t vanish completely. “You seem upset all of a sudden.”

I looked at her pensively “Sorry, there are some things that are still too weird to deal with right now.”

“Oh?” She looked at me curiously. “How’s that exactly?”

“Well, I mean it’s just so fast, you know?” I tried to focus, but the gentle stoke of Rachael’s fingers was making it quite difficult. “I know it still sounds weird to say it, but a few weeks ago I was still a guy. Now everything is different. Nothing makes sense the way it used to.”

“Mhmm…” Rachael nodded, brushing her lips against mine. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to keep me off balance, or this was just another one of the playful torments she seemed to delight in.

I looked up at her pleadingly “You don’t understand Rach: What I told you in the car, about how I used to be? I wasn’t lying. I feel like a whole part of my life has been ripped, no-- torn from me. All that strength and security I took for granted…it’s gone now.”

I’d expected that would probably kill the mood, or at least dampen her enthusiasm somewhat. Instead she kissed me, with the kind of warmth and passion that burnt away all the pain and frustration between the past and this one, single moment where nothing else mattered.

When she broke away I was gasping for breath, my whole body tingling with energy. “What was that for?”

A mischievous smile crept over her face. “Stop talking about everything you’ve lost.”

I shook my head, barely able to keep my emotions from bubbling over. “You don’t know what this means to me, okay? Don’t even pretend that you do. We’re not talking about possessions or jewellery, or some useless crap I can replace with a trip to the mall. This was my life. I mean…Everything that I was, all the people who knew me…they’re all gone now, and I can’t ever bring them back.”

“Bring back what, exactly? It’s not like they’re dead.” Rachael furrowed her brow, somehow dreadfully cute at the same time.

“I know, but…” I exhaled slowly, feeling my frustration slowly fade. “Even if I saw them in the street, they wouldn’t recognize me. I’d be just another stranger.”

“You shouldn’t worry about that Faye.”

I blinked, unable to understand what she was proposing. “Then what am I supposed to believe in? What do I to have to show for everyone I’ve ever met?”

Rachael bit her lip, searching for an answer. “Tell them what you had faith in, what you believed in. Tell them what is worth living for.”

I stared at her, trying to fathom exactly what she meant. “How does any of that matter?”

“It’s not about what you had, or what you owned. Your possessions aren’t something you can keep forever. It’s the same with people.”

Rachael smiled warmly, moving closer as she continued. “It’s about how much faith you have in what you believe. That’s what makes you who you are, and that’s what decides your future.”

Her lips brushed my neck as her voice became barely a whisper. “What you look like does not matter: What you believe in, and the people you trust are the only thing that has value worth measuring. It’s the one thing that’s worth holding on to.”

I wanted to object. Burst out into tears. Scream about how she couldn’t understand me until my lungs burnt and my throat was dry. But none of that would have proven she wasn’t absolutely right. My stuff doesn’t matter. Losing who I was doesn’t matter. If I can remember what I believed in, the experiences and knowledge I’d gained through all my trials…that’s something I can pass on to my friends and family no matter who I am now.

I exhaled slowly, trying to force a smile. “When the hell did you get so smart?”

Her tongue ran playfully over her lips as she contemplated wether to be truthful or not “I think I heard that in a video game once.”

Coming from anyone else, that kind of comment should be a surprise.

Rachael’s face brightened. “Didn’t I tell you I’m here to help? We’re a team now.”

I rolled my eyes, more embarrassed by how corny that sounded than the truth behind it. “Yeah, you did.”

I narrowed my eyes as a thought occurred to me. “So tell me truthfully…what’s the reason you helped me out after we first met. Did you have a crush on me?”

“Hell no!” Rachael’s posture immediately shifted to the defensive. “You were acting way too much like a tomboy for my tastes.”

“Oh what, and I’m not now?”

Rachael’s hands slid down the curve of my waist, tickling my abdomen gently. “Now that you mention it, I really don’t think you are.”

“What? I’m plenty tomboy!” I scowled. “I’m as manly as a bearded shark!”

“….That doesn’t sound very manly.”

“I hate you so much right now.” I replied evenly.

Rachael gazed at me with quiet adoration, running a hand through my hair. “I don’t think Zoe’s noticed it Faye, but you’re actually becoming quite feminine.”

In spite of any truth to her argument, I was adamant to prove her wrong. “Oh yeah, how?”

“Just in your behaviour, really. I mean you’re still as clueless as ever, don’t get me wrong.” She kept looking at me with that warm, relaxed expression. “But I’ve noticed how you’ve changed as well. Think about it…the way you talked, how you acted…you were always so detached and abrupt. Like there was something inside you that was determined to hate who you were as much as possible.”

“As opposed to now?”

Rachael smiled wryly, making sure she chose her words carefully. “Now, you’re just so much more relaxed. You go with the flow. You’ve stopped trying to make sense of everything and instead you’re just enjoying the ride.”

I could have argued, maybe regaled her with stories about how conflicted I’ve been over everything that’s happened of late. But the truth is part of me wanted her to be right. I’ve been working so hard to accept who I am, it seemed pointless to fight over anything now.

Her hand came to rest on my cheek, cupping it gently. “Can’t you just admit you like being Faye Valentine?”

My scowl faded, a smile tugging at the edge of my lips. “A little.”

Rachael quirked an eyebrow. “Just a little?”

“A teeny-tiny bit.”

Rachael kissed me one last time, warmth flowing into my lips before she slowly drew back. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”