“Yes.” He found himself saying aloud. He thought about it again. “Yes….. yes, I enjoyed it. He found himself standing in the middle of no where, standing on the side of the road smiling. Smiling, because he enjoyed being a girl. He did enjoy dressing the part. Enjoyed the attention from both guys and girls. Enjoyed the friendships. He enjoyed being a girl and yes, he was content with it. Camp Kumoni By Anistasia Allread

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Chapter 28
 
Erika waited in the dark, straining her ears to hear the breathing of the different people in the beds around her. Katie and Krystal’s snoring fell in an out of sync with one another as one took slower deeper breaths than the other. Rachel rolled towards the wall, pulling her blanket with her, creaking the bed as she settled again. If she focused, tuned out the other sounds, Erika could pin point Phoenix’s slow steady breathing.

Erika slipped from her blankets and silently slid to the floor. She knelt beside the lower bunk that Samantha slept in and centimeter by centimeter, opened her top drawer. She cautiously pulled her lap-top from under some of her clothes, swung a back-pack over her shoulder and took up her tennis shoes.

Victoria drooled on her pillow through an open mouth. The Hispanic newspaper editor and Samantha had gone off somewhere while the others made their way to the cabin to ready themselves for the game. Samantha recounted the conversation later.

Samantha, had told Victoria that she was to stop badgering Erika and making snide comments. Victoria told Samantha that she had changed her mind. Erika had three days to reveal her secret to the other girls in the cabin, or she was going to. ‘A week is too long to keep up this façade ‘she told Samantha. ‘Three days including today’. Victoria did agree to stop making comments to or about Erika for those three days, or until she make public that she was in fact Eric, a guy.

Erika fought the urge to stick some toilet paper into Victoria’s mouth. It would have only been fitting, with all of the shit that had been spewing from it.

Erika stealthily slipped up to Phoenix’s bed next to the door. Phoenix’s slow steady breathing never changed, Erika tucked the lap-top under her arm that held her shoes and ever so slowly turned the door knob. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. If Phoenix caught her, the whole thing would fall apart. She felt the inner spring of the knob tighten and stop. The door, released from its confines easily and quietly opened. As soon as there was a crack big enough for her to squeeze through, she found herself on the front step and attempting to close the door as silently as she had opened it.

Fresh air filled her lungs with the scent of the trees and of a heavy dew, that was promised in the morning. Erika winced and swore under her breath as she scampered barefoot down the path towards the parking lot.

Once she had reached a shadowed part of the lot, she sat down on a stump. She brushed away the pebbles and pine needles that were affixed to the soles of her feet, and slipped her tennis shoes on.

Although Victoria kept a civil tongue all evening, she did cast Erika dirty looks all afternoon and evening, and she went out of her way to make a show of concealing and covering up after showering, and changing her clothes. Rachel wasn’t happy with the cold truce that resulted from the meeting that Samantha and Victoria had that afternoon. All it seemed to do was internalize their problems. Neither of the girls would tell her what they were fighting about. The tension amongst the three girls was so thick that Phoenix kept looking from one to the other trying to figure out what was going on.

Breaking with the week-long tradition of wearing night-shirts and panties to bed, Erika changed into shorts and her Ramones T-shirt for bed, but no one seemed to have noticed. It was a bit chilly this evening for shorts but she figured that once she got moving, she would warm up. She slipped her lap-top into her backpack and Swinging it over her shoulder, she began a fast walk down the gravel road to the main road that lead to town.

The girls of Columbine cabin met the girls of Daisy cabin on the field for softball. Daisy cabin was ranked number four among the girl cabins and were not supposed to be a threat in the quest for points, especially in sports. Due to the tension between the girls of Columbine however, Daisy walloped them in the game. Rachel was fuming. It should have been an effortless win and easy points for their quest for the top cabin of the summer.

Although Erika had hit a few base hits and a double, Rachel and Katie were the power houses of their game. Dani, because of her height, played third base. Rachel was the obvious pitcher, since she had pitched softball for her school. Katie took short-stop, Samantha first base, and the rest worked the outfield, and took turns playing second base. Daisy cabin scored three runs due to the lack of Samantha, Victoria, and Erika’s communication. Dani was able to hit the ball, but had trouble getting to first base before the ball did. Krystal may have been good at kicking a ball, but she couldn’t hit, catch, or throw a soft-ball worth a damn.

The girls, bummed about losing the game, changed into their swimsuits and went down to the lake. Katie and Dani had fun playing around in the water together. Krystal, although she now had a swimsuit, refused to take off her shorts and shirt and get into the water. She stayed in the shade on the beach and pretended to watch everyone else.

The gravel drive that Erika had been following, finally met up with the main road. Erika looked both directions in the dark and headed in the direction of the town. If she remembered right, it was quite a way to the small burg, and she hoped that she would be able to get on a bus before the camp was awake and discovered her absence.

She didn’t have much in the way of money, but she thought she might have enough to get at least back home. Once there, she could wait until her parents had gone to work before going into the house. Erika could then begin the transformation back to Eric. Take the breast forms off, get rid of the gaffe, cut his hair and acrylic nails. He would just have to make his parents understand that camp wasn’t for him. As for school, that was harder. How could he convince his parents to allow him to transfer to another high school? There is no way he could return to his school, especially since Victoria knew about the summer.

Samantha was in awe with how natural Erika looked in her swim suit. The gaffe smoothed out the groin area and it didn’t hurt to take off, like duct tape had. The breast forms made her appear to have cleavage in a way that the old forms Samantha had given her couldn’t duplicate. The nasty looks that Victoria had cast her way were mixed with looks of confusion. Samantha said it was because Erika looked better in a swim suit than Victoria did. She did notice the boys at the lake taking more of a notice in her than they had in the past. Or was it because she had been on a date with the ever-popular Josh?

A semi-truck passed going the opposite direction. The wind from its passing buffeted her, blowing her hair around and into her eyes. She used her long blue nails to sweep it back, tucking it behind her ear as she continued to walk along the dark road, lit only by the half-moon in the virtually cloudless sky.

While spending their time at the lake, Erika spotted Kyle and Josh engaged in tossing a Nerf football around with guys from other cabins. Josh, going for a long pass, bumped into Samantha, knocking them both into the water. When they came up sputtering, Samantha splashed him in the face as he was about to take a breath. Once he stopped choking on lake water, he sought her out and apologized. The two spoke for a few moments before the guys playing ball kept calling him to re-join in their game. Samantha returned to the dock where Erika was sunning herself, her feet dangling in the cool water.

“Josh asked me on a date.” She had confided. “Do you mind?..... I’ll call it off, if you don’t want me to.”

Erika’s heart had stopped. Josh asked her Samantha out on a date. Her Samantha…. How could he? She tried to swallow the lump that suddenly formed in her throat, but couldn’t. She tried again and with considerable amount of effort was able to get it down. She felt her heart start up again, but it pounded painfully.

“Why should I mind.” She had said. “You like him don’t you?”

“Yes, he’s really cute.” Samantha grinned. “You really don’t mind?”

Yes I mind! Her brain screamed. You’re mine, Samantha. I love you…… I have always loved you…. Don’t go out with Josh the Jock! Instead she forced a smiled. “I don’t mind.” She had lied.

“Thank you Erika, you’re the best!” Samantha had thrown her arms around her and hugged her.

Tears flowed fresh in her eyes. The white line along the side of road became a winding blur as she walked between the line and the gravel lined ditch. A car honked a brief note as it passed, startling her. She flipped it off as its tail lights faded and disappeared around a corner.

The others in the cabin saw that I’m in love with Samantha. Why can’t Samantha see it? Part of the reason for Eric going along with this whole charade was because he hoped to show Samantha how much he loved her. Now she was going out with the hunk, Josh. How can she do this to me? How can she go out with Josh, when I’d do just about anything to for her love? I even dressed like a girl for her. That wasn’t totally true. He went to camp as a girl to keep from being picked on like he had at school. To avoid being thrown into bushes along the paths, to keep away from having a baseball thrown at his groin so that he lay on the ground coughing and gasping for breath like that one day in P.E last year. He had gone to camp as a girl to evade being ‘pantsed’ while on the dock at the lake. The memory of having someone jerk his shorts down at the public pool last summer, exposing his nakedness burned fresh inside him.

Samantha in their chat had said being a girl was just as hard as being a guy. Eric had to admit that it was difficult but in a different way. Girls were sneakier and more verbal in their destroying of one another. But he had also seen girls who didn’t have much in common, embrace one another as sisters. Dani and Katie for example, as different as night and day, yet in their differences, they found a bond as strong as sisterhood.

The clothes and taking care of your appearance was also more time consuming. But in a way, Eric found that he liked dressing up. He liked looking in the mirror and seeing a beautiful young woman looking back at him. Getting his hair cut and being fussed over was a great experience. A guy’s haircut was done almost before it started, but a girl’s hair cut was an experience to be savored. Getting his nails done was also a fairly pleasant experience. It probably would have been more enjoyable had Katie not been asking a million and one questions, but he found that he did enjoy the pampering. He was getting pretty good at applying make-up as well. At least he was getting faster….. of course, most of the time this past week, Erika would wear little more than mascara and a touch of eye shadow. But there was an art form to it and Eric had begun to appreciate the creativity that was involved.

Eric came to a sudden stop. Had he enjoyed being Erika? A cool breeze that whispered through the trees tickled his tresses. Absentmindedly he brushed a lock from blowing across his face. Had he really enjoyed being Erika? Had he really enjoyed shaving his legs, wearing skirts and wedged sandals? Had he really liked spending time polishing one another’s nails, planning outfits, and fixing one another’s hair rather than talking football, cars and movies? Seeing who could spit the farthest, who could bench more weight, who could run the fastest, swim the furthest? Had he really enjoyed being Erika?..... being a girl?

“Yes.” He found himself saying aloud. He thought about it again. “Yes….. yes, I enjoyed it. He found himself standing in the middle of nowhere, standing on the side of the road smiling. Smiling, because he enjoyed being a girl. He did enjoy dressing the part. Enjoyed the attention from both guys and girls. Enjoyed the friendships. He enjoyed being a girl and yes, he was content with it.

He began skipping down the road towards town…. towards the bus…… towards home…… his steps faltered.….. towards the death of Erika.

What are you doing, Eric? His mind questioned his judgment. If you go home, you won’t be able to be Erika. You dumb-ass. You go home and Erika is as good as dead. You won’t be able to wear cute clothes, you won’t be able to get your nails done, you won’t be able to hang out with the girls at school and have friends. If you go home…… Erika ceases to exist.

Eric reached down and picked up a rock and threw it as hard as he could down the road. “God damn it!” he screamed. He took a deep breath and screamed again. You go home, you moron, and not only does Erika die, but ‘the plague’ re-emerges. You go home and you are nothing but the loser that everyone says you are. You go back to the camp and tell the others and you are as good as sent home a loser and the laughing stock of the camp and later, the school.

“God! How do I get in these situations!?” he screamed. He dropped to the ground and sat there bathed in the silver light of the moon. The white line that marked the side of the road glimmered as small pieces of something in the paint reflected the moon light.

“Where do I go, God?” Eric looked up at the vast dark sky spotted with twinkling stars. “What do I do?”

The sound of a car coming down the road brought him to take note of his surroundings. A fenced field across the road held several cows, all standing still, two of them were looking directly at him, as if studying something unnatural, something alien. The other cows seemed to be grazing on grass that looked bathed in mercury in the night. Tall fir trees dotted with a few scrub oaks loomed over him from behind a barbed wire fence on his side of the road. He was on a straight away that curved about half a mile ahead. Head lights of the approaching car bounced as the car rode over bumps and dips in the road.

“Why does this shit always happen to me?” He called to God. Eric got to his feet and began walking once more. Slowly, he put one foot in front of the other. One step at a time, he headed towards the town. Towards the death of Erika. Tears fell unheeded from his eyes. It looks like Erika will have to die in order him to reach any resemblance of peace. He will have to go home and submit to the ire of his parents. Maybe he could convince them to allow him to spend some time with his grandmother. If he talked to her, maybe she could talk his parents into letting him transfer to another school. It couldn’t be any worse than being ‘the plague’ at his school, could it?

Who knows, given time, he might even be able to forget Samantha. Forget his longing to be with her. Who knows, He may, in time, even forget that for one week of one summer he was a girl named Erika.