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It seems like the more comfortable with myself as a girl I become, the harder it is to have male bits. Last night my parts moved a bit, and I had to fight back tears, and I also had to fight off the urge to take my box-cutter knife to them ....
Ah, well.
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Keep fighting it!
I know it's tough, and sometimes I even manage to forget about mine for a little while - but then I have to go pee and I'm reminded of the truth, wrong as it is.
Just remember that in the long run it will all be right. Hurting yourself to get there won't serve any purpose.
Dallas
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Been there Dorothy. I had
Been there Dorothy. I had moments where Ive had a knife in hand and wondered how long would a ambulance take to get to me or would I bleed out. Fortunately I have a very low pain tolerance so Ive always stopped myself. I know its hard.
>>>>>I'm a new soul.I came to this strange world.Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.<<<<<
Some things are best left to professionals.
SRS is definitely one of them. All you can really do in the meantime is to make sure you're healthy enough for your future SR surgeons to be able to work on you.
I'm looking forward as much as you are to the day that you blog about having had it done. = )
*HuggleSnugglePurr* ^_^
It does NOT help to injure your self.
"Just remember that in the long run it will all be right. Hurting yourself to get there won't serve any purpose."
Also don't the end results turn out better with the wrong bits still there to work with? I don't think you would want to ruin the final outcome, Or have some complication. I'm sure its frustrating but hold on and get things done right.
I agree completely
In the long run it will all be worth it, and personally as to myself, I have those wishes every day - but I simply can't imagine the thought of not being here.
For every person on earth there are people that care about them and love them. You need to find those people and keep them close whenever you get those feelings - and if you can't be with them at that moment, pick up the phone and talk to them. A shared problem is a problem cut in half.
Always remember that we care about you and never, ever take the chance of hurting yourself needlessly.
Dallas
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Aye
The more comfortable I've become as Janet, the harder it has been to still have male parts which occasionally shift at annoying moments.
Of course the only reason I've been able to put up with them this long is thinking of 'em as feed stock for building the correct set.
Indeed, I'd have long since strangled 'em off with elastrator bands if it wasn't for the promise that the surgeon will do a much, Much, MUCH more desireable job with 'em preserved than otherwise.
- Janet.
Right,
Dottie,
Just keep thinking that you need that dick-thing to line your vagina; it's a somewhat good, somewhat bad part. Hopefully, it will serve its purpose and be gone soon. Those other two.... I just hated mine and blamed them for poisoning me; just hang tough! Practice self control.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Hang in there, Dorothy. I
Hang in there, Dorothy. I understand that it's hard. Prior to SRS, there were times that I found myself crying because I wanted to wear something nice but having those parts prevented me or made it incredibly difficult to do so. Just wear tight undies to prevent them from moving so that you can forget about them, at least some of the time.
nobody warned me :(
Nobody mentioned that I might start hating my body even more when I started transitioning and accepting who I was on the inside...seeing all those pretty things that I can't wear, not because of how others might treat me but because this body won't let me. I've never seen one person ever say anything close to this subject and I feel it should be something people are cautioned about because it isn't pleasant. At least when I was trying to deny who I am I didn't get reminded about it like I do now.
Please, please...
Hello Dorothy,
please, please, please don't do anything like this, even it is hard not to try.
I think i know how you feel, because the same feelings have often
came over me in the past.
The hardest time for me was between to know who i'am really be
and the beginning of my HRT.
But now i have made my inner peace with "him", he is retired now.
It is not possible for me to wipe "him" from my former life,
cause it is still there and allways a reminder.
So please don't hurt yourself as it is no way out of not only your problem
and don't forget there will be a lot persons who will really miss your skills.
Sorry for some incorrect grammar or spellings
but english is not the language i'am grown up with :-)
Hugs from the other side of the Great Pond,
Iona.
Kind Regards - Iona.
Hugs. I know it can be
Hugs. I know it can be really hard but keep fighting the urge.
I understand - I hated parts of my body - felt like a cancerous growth - but as much as we want excise those parts - it's much better left to the medical professionals. I was foolish and did some relatively superficial cutting and so I will always bear the scars on my chest. It almost caused bigger problems with my surgery.
Remember along with forming the vagina, it also is your clitoris and it's a much better result with the original tissue. Please, please, hold out and get the best results from surgery.
Wishing you a better day,
Ankh