"I'd love to go and see that film again", I said "Shall we go and see it then?", Sion asked almost hesitantly. "Sure that would be fun.", I replied, "Oh do you mean just the two of us, like...on a date?"   The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.9 - Dating by Alys

The 54 bus from Aberllwyd pulled into the not very salubrious bus station in Casnewydd, the third largest city of Wales by size but not by atmosphere on yet another grey drizzly July morning. The gang had persuaded me to come with them to hang out and maybe to do some shopping. I had not been very enthusiastic. It all seemed too much too soon.

We jumped noisily out of the bus to take in the general incoherence of Edwardian stone, 60's concrete , 80's glass and steel and 21st century knock it all down again, that characterised our nearest shopping centre.

"It's such a dump isn't it?", opinion-ed Ceri

We all nodded our grunted our approval.

"But there are some good shops at least", said Sioned.

"But first things first guys", stated Sion, "I need some refreshments after that stuffy bus"

"Where shall we go then?", asked Sian

"Let's go to......", said Ceri, pausing for effect

"Starbucks!", the rest of us chorused to the amusement and irritation, in roughly equal measure, of other bus station users nearby.

Ten minutes later we were all ensconced in comfortable armchairs drinking our variety of cappuchinos, lattes and hot chocolates.

"I'm still not convinced this is such a good idea", I remarked.

"Don't worry", said Branwen, "it'll be fine".

"But what if we bump into anyone we know? Can I pretend to be one of your distant cousins on a visit?", I asked.

"It'll be OK", said Sian, "We have a plan"

"A plan? Since when have we ever had a plan", chipped in Sion, teasingly.

"There's always a first time", remarked Branwen mysteriously.

I began to feel a bit concerned about what was going to happen.

"What's going on here, guys, what have you cooked up?", I asked.

Sioned, tapped her nose and said "You will soon find out, just follow our lead"

After a bit more general banter and chat about holidays and music we left Starbucks to make our way towards Next and River Island. I spotted JJB and remembered I needed some good sports bras. As we were about to enter as a group I was still feeling very stressed and I almost walked into one of the school football team, Paul Jones, I stepped aside at the last moment.

"Hi, Paul, how are you doing?", asked Sian.

"Hi Sian, hi guys.how are you all doing?", he responded.

"We're fine, said Sioned, just doing some shopping and by the way Celyn's a girl now", she said indicating me,"See ya in school for the results"

"Um what? Oh OK" he said looking confused to say the least as we walked on into the shop.

Five minutes later, mission in JJB accomplished, we were back on the main pedestrian street.

"Hi Annie!", yelled Sioned to another of our year group on the other side of the street.

"Hey Sioned!", she yelled back, "How are you guys?"

"We're fine and Celyn's a girl now. See you next Thursday at school", shouted Sioned as we walked on in the opposite direction.

Annie paused for a few moments looking at all of us trying to make sense of what Sioned had said and then shrugged her shoulders and continued.

I was momentarily shocked by the interaction. Then I caught up with Sioned and touched her on the shoulder"

"Hey Sioned did you have to shout that out? We might as well have a big banner to carry around to tell everyone in Casnewydd. "Celyn is a girl", "Celyn is a girl"!", I said a little angrily.

"Now that's an idea", said Ceri, "Or maybe we could hire a sign writing plane?"

"STOP!", I said loudly, attracting strange looks from some people walking past.

"What is going on here?", I hissed at the gang. I felt the anger beginning to well up inside me. Was I only a sort of freak show to my friends? At that dispiriting thought a strong feeling of despair began to quickly replace the anger. I turned and began to slowly walk away.

I heard someone quickly walk after me and put an arm around my shoulder.

"Wait Celyn", said the pleasant voice of Sion, "This is to help you, not to embarrass you. Let me explain"

He led me over to a bench and sat beside me while the others waited out of earshot.

"We discussed your idea of going to college and trying to leave your past behind. You said it was called being 'stealth'. Obviously if that is what you feel is best for you then we will help you as much as we can, even if it means that we are no longer in your life."

"Thanks"

"But we wanted to first show you that there is another way"

"What do you mean?"

"You know that we all accept you completely for what you are now, even if it wasn't your choice, it's a life that is worth living. Sometimes it may seem like a huge price to have paid but we think that there is a way to make the cost of your gender change a lot less"

"I still don't understand Sion", I said shaking my head.

"OK, let me be more direct. We thought that if we could show you that most people will accept you for what you are now, even knowing you before then you will see that there is an alternative to cutting all links with your past. That's what we have been trying to do by telling people without making it seem some big deal."

"I see", I said as I began to grasp their plan.

"So what do you say, do we give it a go?"

"OK", I replied hesitantly. "But there is one condition"

"What's that?"

"Any negative reactions, any insulting comments and we drop it and go home"

"Sure, OK, but I think it might work"

For the next hour we wandered from shop to shop, looking at clothes, DVD's, CD's, mobiles, gadgets, shoes and even buying a few things. Every five minutes of so we would bump into someone from our school and the gang would mention in passing my gender switch. The responses were varied but never negative. Most would glance at me, take in my revealing low cut cami, the result of Branwen's ulterior motive this morning, and see the reality of the statement and either carry on with the rest of the conversation or make a positive remark like 'hey cool' or 'nice one'. By the time we had reached our lunch destination, the arts centre 'Y Ganolfan', I was feeling really relaxed and feeling perhaps there was a chance of being open and accepted.

I noticed some new colourful, posters on the notice board next to the cafe. I stopped to look at them.

"Hey Sion", I said, he stopped next to me while the others walked on to the cafe.

"Look there's a series of Welsh films on here, Solomon and Gaenor, that film is really good"

"Yes didn't it almost win an Oscar", he said

"Yes, and it had Ioan Griffith in it"

"Of course before he found fame but not fortune by wearing elasticated clothes in Fantastic Four"

I continued to scan the list.

"Wow, 'Very Annie Mary'. That is an original film. Have you seen it?", I asked.

"Yes, we got the video. Now that has the most original opening scene of any film, Jonathan Pryce singing an aria while driving a bread van, hilarious", he replied.

"I'd love to go and see that film again", I said

"Shall we go and see it then?", Sion asked almost hesitantly.

"Sure that would be fun.", I replied, "Oh do you mean just the two of us, like...on a date?"

"Well only if you want to and wouldn't be embarrassed or something"

I smiled my most radiant smile at him

"I'd love to Sion"

His face took on a joyful, happy countenance.

"Come on, I'm starving and the others will be wondering what we're up to", I said, walking after the gang.

An hour later, after a pleasant light lunch in the arts centre and more banter and chat we were sitting on the bus slowly moving, through the smelly, noisily, semi organised traffic, out of Casnewydd. I sat in the corner by the window as we occupied the back seat in our exuberance.

For most of the journey back I pleaded tiredness and was quietly absent from the fun, only responding to questions when required. But in fact I was dwelling on the the new development in my friendship with Sion.

We were going on a date.