“I kinda guessed they would, but I was mad.”

“Why were you mad?”

Vance went back to looking at his shoes. “I thought that Tracy had less work to do around the house. I had to help my Grandpa out in the fields, and all she had to do was work inside the house. Then I went over to the back porch to see if Grandma had any more work for me that day and there was Troy, resting on the back porch in a dress, just sitting around and having fun. I just got mad.”

“Anger often shuts down common sense.” Ivan said with a nod. “And thinking a sibling has it easier then you, that makes things bad. Did you ever find out if she had it worse?”

Edited by Djkauf

More of Tracy and her family

Tracy was in the doctor’s office with her mother. Her father was in the waiting room, not wanting to make his daughter uncomfortable. She had been unaware that they had changed the time of the appointment, so she was there for her hormones, before seeing Ivan and before food. She was grateful that it took very little time to move her mother's clothes into the house. And she was looking forward to something to eat, as her stomach kept rumbling while she sat in the exam room.

The doctor looked at her results, then at Maggie and her. “We ran the blood tests and found no hormones in her body, other than the little amount that would be made naturally. It seemed to be a bit heavy in testosterone, but nothing to be concerned over. What does concern me is the fact that the growth of your chest could be your weight. On one hand, I could say that it's just youth and you'll grow out of it, but on the other hand, I must think that you could be gaining weight, due to your castration.”

“And this is bad?” Maggie asked.

“It can be, if left unchecked. Do you exercise, young lady?”

“I do Tai Chi.” Tracy stated.

“Well, I want you to do more, like walk daily. I recall that in your file, you have a grandmother who has osteoporosis?”

Maggie nodded. “Yes. Tracy's paternal grandmother.”

“This is what I want you to do. I would like you to get together with your Tai Chi master, and have him or her give you a work out that you can do for half an hour each day. It could be more, but at least, I want you to do half an hour, daily. I also want you to start walking each day. Run or jog every other day. I don't mean that you have to do a marathon, start out slow. A mile for a little while, then when it is no longer a chore, step up to two, then three. This will help combat a possible weight gain. Also, you may need to watch your intake of calories. Now don't starve yourself, because that will cause more problems than it helps. But I want you to cut back on how much you eat. But as you work out more, you will increase your food intake. You're burning off what you eat, so you have to replace it. We may add weight lifting into this. Not like Olympic lifters, just enough to keep working your bones and keeping them strong, but you may wish to speak to your master about how to do it, so you don't lose flexibility for strength.”

“Okay.” Tracy nodded.

“I'll make sure your mother has a full list. But for now, I would like to give you your first dose of hormones.”

"Awesome." Tracy said as she turned her head from the needle that he had and she flinched as a needle poked her skin.

“And there you go. One dose of female hormones.” The doctor said as he turned around to face Maggie.

Tracy smiled as the Doctor handed a piece of paper to Maggie. “Keep an eye out for these symptoms, this is a list of known reactions to the hormones. You'll know the normal problems that will occur, so be ready.”

“Be ready for what?” Tracy asked.

“Mood swings.” Maggie answered. “But every girl deals with them.”

“Here is a list of vitamins she may need to keep up on, to help with her bones. And calcium is a must. Without testosterone in her body, she needs to help strengthen the bones somehow. She is still growing, so it is important that she gets enough calcium daily.”

“Thank you.” Maggie said and she walked out of the little room, to talk to the doctor more, and let Tracy dress.

Ten minutes later, after she had dressed and checked her hair in the bathroom mirror, Maggie and Tracy walked into the waiting room. William put down his magazine, tapped his son on the arm and stood up. He had met with the doctor, just to introduce himself, but he had wanted to leave Tracy some privacy. “Are we done?”

“Yes. I got a list of vitamins she needs to take, plus a list of things to watch for. But other then that, we're good to go.” Maggie stated.

“So, young lady, want to hit that hot dog place now?”

“Please, I haven't eaten since breakfast.” Tracy said as Vance stood and her parents started for the door.

“Okay. So where is this Caspers?”

“I can show you.” Vance said. “It's by the main highway.”

“How do you know?” William asked.

“Uncle Frank took me there when we were down here in November.”

The drive only took a few minutes, then one quick order later and William was sitting at a table, his wife across from him and his kids to either side. “So, how have things been?”

“For the past week?” Tracy asked with a chuckle and William nodded. “Good, I guess. I stayed with Rachel, till this morning and she has a kitten.” Tracy looked up from her food. “Can we get a kitten, when we get our own place?”

“We'll think about it.” William answered her, then gestured for her to continue.

“It was okay. I had my Tai Chi class on Tuesday and I hung out with Rachel, Sage and Brooke a few times during the week. Did some homework, helped cook at Rachel's. Not much else.” Tracy looked to her Dad. “What about you?” He knew that she had skipped her running from Rachel's house, but he didn't want to push her. He was sure Maggie would question her later, and he only know part of the story.

“Me? Well, I go home from work and wish I didn't have to go back. I miss my wonderful daughter and now I'll miss my beautiful wife. We eat at Mom and Dad's and that's about it.”

“I'm sorry I had to leave.” Tracy replied, looking up at him, eyes threatening to fill with tears.

“Stop that.” William commanded. He was thankful the restaurant was mostly empty, that way people wouldn't be questioning it if Tracy cried. “We brought you down here for your safety. This wasn't your fault. We've covered that before. And in four months, We'll be here too.”

“But I feel guilty.” Tracy stated.

William shook his head and gently spoke. “Tracy. No one would have known that Clark and Molly would attack you. Soon, both of them will be no more then a bad dream and we'll be down here, living a better life.”

Maggie nodded her agreement with her husband. “He's right. I really think that you're safer here. No Molly, No Clark and who knows how many other people Molly told about you.”

Tracy sighed and sat back in her seat. William knew he didn't want her in a bad mood all night, so he decided to cheer her up. “So, do you need anything for your Tai Chi class?”

“Shifu Jaio has ordered me a uniform and it should be here next week.”

“What about your old one?”

“It's the wrong color and it has the wrong markings on it. The color is a different rank in Shifu Jaio's class. Plus this is a different school and I'd rather not remember that jerk.”

William nodded as he put himself in her shoes. “I can understand that. Be like if I had worn someone else's rank in the Army. Did she tell you how much it would cost?”

“Helping clean her house a few times, and helping clean around the school on Tuesday nights, after Shifu Lok's class.”

“For how long?”

“Just a couple of weeks.” Tracy replied. “ She said they can insist it’s part of my training, so they don't get in trouble by having a minor work. Then the other work I do goes into taking money off the bill of the school.”

“Well, we'll help with that. They are charging the same as the other guy, and you like them more.” William replied. “And I must say, that Lok fellow is a nice man.”

~o~O~o~

It was quarter after three when Maggie had signed them in and Tracy was shocked to find none of her friends were there. She sat down and huffed out a breath. “Where are they?” She asked in a whisper.

“Hey, come on now. You know they just got out of school fifteen minutes ago.” Maggie said as she took a seat next to William. Vance had sat near Tracy, but leaving one seat space between them, hoping to steer Sage into it if she showed up.

“I know, I just want them here.” Tracy said as she slumped in her seat.

“They'll get here when they get here, honey.” William said as he picked up a health magazine from a nearby table. He wasn't used to being in this situation. The last time he had spoken to a shrink, he had been wounded in 'Nam and he hated the sessions he had. “Is this what you're like when they are in school?”

Tracy looked away and blushed. “No....”

“According to Shelly, it is. Or at least that's what Lynn and Jaio said. They had problems getting our young lady to focus on the homework any time after noon. But some of that could be because we were in another town.”

Tracy picked up the book she had brought with her and tried to read, but her attention was all over the place. It was hard to focus when she knew her friends were coming. She did her best to ignore her parents, knowing they were right.

At about three twenty-five, the door to the waiting room almost blew off its hinges as Rachel burst in. Sage held back long enough to hold the door for Brooke. By this point, Tracy was already out of her seat and in Rachel's arms. A few moments later, Persephone came in with Andromeda and Moony, who went to Vance and sat down next to him.

William and Maggie got up and greeted each of the girls. He made sure to give a big hug to Brooke, then he took his seat again. As they talked between themselves, the back door opened up and Doctor Ivan walked out. As he got close to Maggie, she turned and smiled, but Vance stayed seated. “Maggie, it’s good to see you again.”

“It's good to be here.” Maggie replied. William was wishing that he hadn't come down. He just wasn't a fan of the man's profession. It had nothing to do with the man himself, after all, his daughter liked him, so he couldn't be all bad. Maggie gestured to William. “I'd like you to meet my husband, William.”

“William, it's good to see you, I've heard a lot about you from your daughter, you must be proud of her.” Ivan held out his hand.

“I am. But then I'm proud of Vance as well.” William answered as he shook the man's hand.

“Speaking of our son, this is Vance.” Maggie said as she gestured to her eldest child.

“Vance.” Ivan held a hand out. “Hear a lot of good things about you too.”

“Thank you Sir.” Vance replied, shaking his hand.

“How did the basketball season go?”

Vance smiled brightly. “We finished seventeen and three. Second place in our district. Baseball is going to start soon for us, well the school is. The kids at school are trying to keep me from trying out.”

“Well keep your chin up and maybe you can move here and get on the new school team.” Ivan said, before he went to the four girls. “Tracy, it's good to see you again.”

“Doctor Ivan.” She said with a smile, while she shook his hand in a feminine way.

“Sage, Rachel.” The doctor said as he shook their hands. “And who might this beautiful young lady be?” He asked, looking at Brooke. He had a great guess, but he wanted to make sure.

Brooke looked up at him, her cheeks burned bright red at the term beautiful. “I'm Brooke.”

“It's good to meet you young lady.”

“Are you taking Tracy's parents first?” Sage asked.

“Like I normally do. Yes.” Ivan replied. “But today, I want to shake things up. So you may be out here for a bit.”

“That's okay, we got homework we can do.” Sage replied. “Plus my cousins may be here for Tracy, too.”

Ivan chuckled, then in an imitation of the movie Jaws, he looked to William and Maggie and in a worried tone, he said. “I'm gonna need a bigger boat.”

“Come on, you love us and you know it.” Sage playfully replied.

He gestured to Maggie and William. “If you two would like to come back...”

Tracy watched as her parents were led back to the room and she grabbed her brother and went over to Jill. “Ma'am. I'd like you to meet Vance, my brother. Vance, this is Mary Beth and Emily May's aunt.”

“Ma'am.” Vance said with a smile.

“Hello, Vance. How are you today?”

“Doing good, Ma'am.” Vance replied.

“That's good. Everything better up north?”

“I guess. Oh...I almost forgot.” Vance went over to his coat and pulled out a couple of envelopes. “These are for Tracy and her friends, but Emily said if I saw you, to give this to you, or have Tracy give it to you.” He handed a couple of envelopes to her. “Emily said there was a letter from her and Mary Beth in it.”

“Thank you. It means a lot to keep in contact with my family, no matter how stupid their father is being.”

“When we move down here, Peter has agreed to send the mail to us and Tracy can bring it in to you.”

“Well thank you. Thank you both.”

~o~O~o~

“Please, have a seat.” Ivan gestured to the couch as he took his usual seat across from it. He watched as William let Maggie sit first, then he sat next to her. “I must say it's good to finally meet you.”

“Well, I almost didn't come.” William admitted. “I had a bad experience with a shrink after 'Nam, .”

“I can understand. War is a traumatizing experience.” Ivan said, not wishing to correct him on the slang title of his profession.

“You're telling me.” William shook his head. “I heard about hell in the bible and that has been the closest I think I've come to seeing what it would be like. Did you serve?”

“Yes. I was a Captain with the ninety-fifth evac hospital. Psychiatric consultation. Got there in sixty eight and was there for the move to Monkey mountain and stayed till seventy.”

“I was a cook in a camp outside of Da Nang. I recall Hell's half acre very well.” William stated, using the nickname of the doctor's old camp. “I was only a Sergeant and a cook of a small camp, but I spent a couple of weeks at the ninety fifth after our camp came under fire. Took some shrapnel through my right knee.”

“Can I ask? Did you get drafted, or enlist?”

“I enlisted.” William said.

“Why? Most of the kids our age were trying anything they could do to get out of it.”

“My brother is older then me and he was already in the air force. He had four kids at that point and I had heard that if I went over, he'd be kept out of the fighting.”

“I see. Were either of your kids born then?” Ivan scratched out a quick note and William began to wonder how much he should tell.

“It's okay.” Maggie whispered when she saw his hesitation. “Trust me, William.”

William sighed and decided his wife was right, again. “Vance was. In fact that was the one thing that kept me going when I was there. I kept getting tapes that Maggie recorded each week. Sure, I got them a month or two later, but I got them. I heard Vance's first word over those tapes. Hell, I still got that tape.” William gave the doctor a small smile. “When I got hurt, I must have played that tape three or four times a day, just to give me the strength to keep going. But we had a plan ready if something happened to me. Both Maggie's parents and mine would have made sure she was taken care of. That never had to be used and Tracy was born about nine months after I first got home.”

“That's also normal.” Ivan said with a nod of his head. “Tell me, how has Troy becoming Tracy affected you? Were you sad, angry, supportive?”

“Well, I never knew, not until Thanksgiving. Then I heard Maggie talking to Shelly and I put the pieces of the conversation together. Maggie and I talked about it and I decided to trust Maggie and let Tracy do her thing.”

“Her thing?”

“Well, she was Tracy, but only at the house and only after school. I actually gave my permission to let her do it.”

“Most men would have fought this tooth and nail, but you didn't. Why?”

“Well, in September or October, Vance had been giving Tracy, well Troy, a hard time at school. Troy let the school and walked home, then he fell asleep on my mother's back porch. When My mom told us where he was, I went there to yell at him, but both Maggie and Mom pointed out how I had been treating Troy badly and letting Vance do everything he wanted. Well, my Mom offered an idea, where the boys did more work at the house and I went with it. I had no idea that it was Tracy doing the cooking and cleaning, not until Thanksgiving. But while Maggie was down here, the weekend after Thanksgiving, I got to doing some thinking and I realized she has always been acting like a girl and I knew I had to change my attitude, or lose a child and a wife.”

“Now I know many men relate to their male offspring better then the female and it gets a bit more strained when the girls get older. Are you spending time with her? Before the move, I mean?”

“Well....” William thought about it, then he hung his head. “Not much. I mean I'd talk with her each morning as she made breakfast, but Vance and I have always been closer. “

“Well, just remember to take some time each month for her as well. Each child needs to feel loved by both the mother and father. I'm not saying take her shopping, but maybe a meal at a fast-food place, just the two of you. Maybe a walk in the evening and let her open up to you. I know it will be harder, now that you're in another town, so phone calls on the weekends, stuff like that. Take time to mail her a letter. Write something from the heart for her.”

“I think I can do that.”

“Now, I would like to know, in the past two weeks, has anything major happened?”

“Not really.” Maggie said. “My Mom and I stayed here until Friday and from what Shelly said, it hurt Tracy a lot when we left. We did get the temporary restraining order filed and we have an appointment for this Friday to get the full order. We're not sure if Molly will be there, as far as I know, she's in the mental health facility in Chico.”

“We did get to see Tracy during the week.” William added, not wanting to seem like they just abandoned her. “On Valentine’s day. We had Frank and Shelly take her to Sacramento for dinner. We brought Vance and had a nice meal.”

“That sounds nice. I bet she loved it.” Ivan stated.

“She did. She sat between Maggie and myself and I don't think she stopped talking long enough to eat.” William chuckled as he thought about that visit.

“That's true. I was shocked that she had that much stuff to talk about. I had only been gone for three days.” Maggie said with a chuckle.

“And how was she after that? Did the other parents let you know if she was missing you?”

“From what I heard, she did.” Maggie replied. “Shelly and Frank had already planned on being out of town, so Tracy stayed with Rachel and I guess there were a few bad days. Lynn called me on Tuesday and told me that Tracy had left the house early in the morning, after something happened and she went to Brooke's, I guess she thought Rachel was mad or something.”

“Ah. Do you know everything that happened?” He asked, even though he knew some of the story from Sage

“I think so.” Maggie replied. She quickly told him what she knew and he nodded as she told her story. When she finished he made a quick couple of notes and leaned back.

“I try and approach the subject carefully, but it’s a talk that she needs to have with me.” Ivan said. “From what I can get, it is that she's worried that her body is going to run her friends off. But I don't think the girls are leaving.”

“I hope so. I've never seen Tracy this happy.” William stated.

~o~O~o~

“Have a seat Vance.”

“Yes sir.” He replied as he took the offered seat.

“Now you're probably wondering why I wanted to talk to you, right?”

“Yeah.” Vance said with a nod. “It's not like I can do anything. I'm just the brother.”

“Wrong, Vance. You can do a lot.” Ivan said. “You had two paths when you first found out about Tracy. Path one was bad. You could have made Tracy's life a living hell. Path two is good, you could have supported her, which you have and being one of many people who helped her two weeks ago proved that.”

“But I did do the bad one.” Vance said as he hung his head in shame. “I told my friend about Tracy, when she was Troy and that he wore dresses, he was the one who attacked Tracy in December. He came over 'cause we were going to beat up on Troy.”

“Okay, but what happened?” Ivan asked.

“Grandma Modine did. She made me wear a dress when Bruce and Frankie came over.”

“And how did they treat you?”

Vance shrugged. “They teased me. They kept teasing me at school too, till Troy caught Bruce stealing from a class, then they tried to beat us both up.”

“Did they?”

Vance shook his head and looked up. “Kinda. We got in trouble for fighting at school and got suspended for three days, but Bruce and Frankie got ten days suspension. That was at Thanksgiving.”

Ivan held up a hand to stop him. “Let me back up a bit here. Why did you tell your friends? Did you know that they'd want to hurt Tracy?”

“I kinda guessed they would, but I was mad.”

“Why were you mad?”

Vance went back to looking at his shoes. “I thought that Tracy had less work to do around the house. I had to help my Grandpa out in the fields, and all she had to do was work inside the house. Then I went over to the back porch to see if Grandma had any more work for me that day and there was Troy, resting on the back porch in a dress, just sitting around and having fun. I just got mad.”

“Anger often shuts down common sense.” Ivan said with a nod. “And thinking a sibling has it easier then you, that makes things bad. Did you ever find out if she had it worse?”

“When she was hurt, I noticed how dirty our house and my Grandparent’s house got. I realized how much she really did then.”

“How long did you have to wear the dresses?”

“Tracy talked to Grandma and had her stop it after a week. Both Dad and Grandpa had laughed at me and she felt bad for it.”

“How did you feel when they laughed at you?”

Vance sighed. “I hated it. It hurt bad, worse than any name I've been called.” Vance looked up at him. “But I got to thinking after that, that me telling Bruce and Frankie was just like Dad and Grandpa laughing at me.”

“Very mature of you to figure that out on your own.” Ivan said with a smile.

“Well, I had a lot of time to think over the Christmas break.” Vance replied.

“Thinking is always good. Not enough people do it though.” Ivan said with a smile.

“Dad said that before.”

“Yeah, Dad's get those hints of wisdom in the Dad cheat book. So, what about this most recent attack.”

“Yeah. I came in at the middle, with Tracy's friend, Peter, plus Jerry, who was there the last time Tracy got attacked, but he left because he didn't know Bruce was going to do that, and Moonglow, Sage's brother.”

“So you were where when it started?”

Vance leaned back in the couch. “We were hanging out at my Grandfather's house, while the girls were at our place. Then we heard Clark yelling at Tracy so we went over and made sure that it wasn't four on one.”

“Tell me, how have you been after all of the pictures and the phone-calls? Any nightmares?” The question caught Vance off guard. He had thought that this man was there to see Tracy and get his reactions about her, not to ask him about himself.

“I had a couple of dreams, but nothing too bad, nothing like Tracy.”

“Her dreams are back?”

“Well before she moved they were. I didn't tell you this, but the guy was calling and saying what he would do to her. I heard Mom tell Dad about it one night. I guess he was planning to show up and rape Tracy, after they raped Mom and make Tracy watch. Then they were going to make her watch as they killed Dad and me.” Vance stated. “I mean this was what he said. That guy was a pot head and a coke snorter, so who knows.”

“And I'm guessing that there were bad dreams because of this?”

“Yeah. She would wake up crying. Usually it was because she had dropped her bear on the floor.” Vance stated. “But normally, If I could, I'd stick it back in her arms and go back to bed.”

“Very thoughtful of you.” Ivan said. “Tell me, Vance, have you been adjusting to the absence of Tracy well?”

Vance shrugged. “Okay I guess. I mean she was making dinner and we ate at five each evening, but now we eat at the Grandparents, or when Mom gets home from work.”

“Any thing else? I recall that you shared a room with Troy, did you share one with Tracy?”

“Well, we had to. I mean I could have slept in the living room, but Mom and Dad didn't make me.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Well, I was glad I didn't lose my room, but when she would come home from school and change, I always gave her space and waited in the kitchen.”

The Doctor scribbled down a note. “Why? After all, you had been in the same room as her for the past eleven years.”

“But it was Troy. This was different. Tracy is my sister and she deserves the chance to dress without her brother watching her.” Vance stated and Ivan smiled at him.

“That is a very mature attitude about this, Vance. You have the chance to watch your sister grow up to be a wonderful woman and you get the fun of being there and watching it happen.”

Vance smiled. “And I get the bonus of her cute friends too.”

“Yes, there is that too.” Ivan nodded. “And for a boy of your age, that can be quite important.”

~o~O~o~

“So young lady, how are you today?” Ivan asked Tracy. She was all alone in the room. He had planned on bringing in the family as a whole after this, then her friends, but he wanted to get to talk to her alone.

“I'm good.” She beamed at him. “Mom moved down today!”

“That is excellent news.” Ivan said with a nod. “How about the past week?”

“Well, we met with Mom and Dad for Valentines day. Aunt Shelly and Uncle Frank took me to Sacramento and we ate there. I also went to a garden club and met a bunch of ladies and got a couple of people to compliment on my cooking.”

“That is very good.” Ivan nodded and he wrote down a quick note. “What about Tuesday?”

“Well, I had to stay with Rachel, Aunt Shelly and Uncle Frank went to Reno.” He noticed that Tracy's attitude seemed to sour.

“And how did that go?” He asked her.

“Okay. I tried to do school work and Tuesday I spent with Brooke's mother.” Tracy replied.

“Tracy, you seem a bit down. Did something happen on Tuesday?”

Tracy didn't want to reply, but he seemed to know, so she nodded. “Yeah.”

“Tell me and we can work on it. Like I said, I can't help you, if I don't know what is wrong.”

“It....” Tracy started and she got quiet for a second or two, then she shook her head. “It’s stupid.”

“Tracy, something happened to you. And it is something bad enough to ruin your happy mood. This concerns me as your doctor and a friend. So please, help me, help you.”

Tracy was quick for a few moments and as he was about to change the subject, she sighed, then answered. “When I was at Rachel's the first morning, she kept hitting the snooze and I went over and tickled her, then I blew on her chest, just to wake her up. When I stopped I noticed that she was totally naked under her shirt.” Her cheeks went a bright red. “My thing got hard and I panicked.”

“Panicked how?”

“I left their house, while Rachel showered.”

Ivan leaned forward. “Why? Why did you leave, Tracy?”

Tracy sighed again. “I was upset that my stupid body did what it did. I started to think that she saw me and she would get mad and hate me, then my body would have cost me a friend.”

“I see.” Ivan wrote down another note. “And did she leave you?”

“No.” Tracy shook her head. “From what Sage told me, she was mad at herself for getting me excited and making me hate myself.”

Ivan waited for her to finish, then he put down his pad and pencil, so he could focus on her fully. “Tracy, your body will do things at the worst times in life. You will get gas in a church, you will burp at the worst times. Hiccups can bring a class to a halt. You only have so much control on this body. You can't stop blood flow. You will blush at the worst times you can think of. You will trip over nothing, but only when people are watching. Goofs like that happen. Rachel was just as worried about you as you were about her. Next time, and there will be a next time, stay and talk to her. I somehow doubt that a simple little problem like that will make Rachel hate you.”

“I guess.” Tracy answered, not totally convinced.

“Tracy, trust me. She's been your main supporter of the girls, along with Sage, since they met you. I'd bet she has you listed as one of her five best friends, just as you have her listed. So don't let this ruin that relationship.”

“Okay.” Tracy replied, a bit more sure.

More of Tracy to come and soon, more of Molly.