A couple of nights ago, I was talking at work about my lack of tolerance for alcohol, and said I had only tried it twice.
Then last night, I remembered the third time, and considering what happened, its certainly understandable why I would try to forget the whole thing.
It happened when I was in my early thirties, in the years between my first girlfriend and getting married, and basically, it went like this:
I was working for a cleaning company that would go into buildings and do simple jobs like mop the floors or clean the windows, and I made a friend who I started hanging around with during my non-work days.
Eventually, he persuaded me to come to his place, and to bring some wine as well, and so I did, and found out he was having another guest there at the same time, a woman with whom he had some kind of relationship with, but it was never totally clear to me what it was.
In any case, after having a glass of wine I was totally looped, and somehow got talked into sleeping with the girl while her friend watched.
Fortunately, before anything could happen that might result in her getting pregnant or me getting a STD, my total disconnection to my male bits prevented me from .... er ... rising to the occasion, as it were.
I left the two of them to have fun together, and walked home, and not long after stopped spending time with the guy, and eventually lost contact with him.
I managed to quite literally put the whole thing out of my mind, to the point I told people honestly that I had only ever had booze twice in my life, not counting this incident or even recalling it.
Its a little frightening to think I could put such an event away and forget about it, but at least I remember now, for whatever good that does.
Ah, well.
Comments
Whew boy I wish my tolerance
Whew boy I wish my tolerance had been that low. Alcohol and I started our relationship at age twelve for all kinds of reasons including my gender issues, I have been sober for about seven years now.
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Sobriety is wonderful
I wish I had your strength to not make alcohol a part of my life. At age 17 I began drinking ar age 32 I went to rehab. At age 33 I came to realize I can't drink. I have over 29 years of sobriety by taking it one day at a time.
I drank to avoid my true self, it was the only sort of self destruction I could do with out a weapon. I admire you fortitude.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Sobriety Rocks
Imagine waking up in the morning and knowing the name of the person in bed with you and remembering all of the fun the two of you had last night. I love it! I too started early (13) but it was post High School when I was really off to the races. First in the "Green Machine" but then in "heaven". Greenwich Village 1963 to late 1968. "They" tell me I had a lot of fun. Anyone tells you that the 60's were about Drugs, Sex, and Rock and Roll is not lying. Tried to get sober in 72, lasted 4 months but did dial it down quite a bit. Amount and frequency way down; damage level up. Finally, post transition I started going to meetings again, I was a broken woman. Found women's meetings and love them and I haven't stopped going yet. On 10/01/12,I will have 12 yrs one day at a time. Heck, I don't even buy green bananas.
I'm not sure that"he" could have ever stopped but being a drunk just didn't work for Joani. Not ladylike and decidedly not pretty.
Keeping it real simple,
Joani
More confessions
You could have locked away the memory because you sensed that he'd eventually lead you into being a patsy for some crime, or a blackmail scheme.
May Your Light Forever Shine
Alcohol accentuates one's personality.
...But it also prevents you from noticing what's been pulled up from the depths of your psyche.
Warm steamy sake is lovely though. It makes me even more likely to cuddle you and go to sleep on you. ^_^
Long before I figured out I was trans
in a mis spent youth I got sick on just about every type there was, and would never touch that flavor again. It is a good thing I think, my Dad's side definitely tended towards alcoholism. When I figured out this simple truth I decided to keep it to a minimum. I am not a teetotaler, but I only drink on special occasions in extreme moderation. Pity really, a glass (as in single) is actually good health wise.
Long before I figured out I was trans
in a mis spent youth I got sick on just about every type there was, and would never touch that flavor again. It is a good thing I think, my Dad's side definitely tended towards alcoholism. When I figured out this simple truth I decided to keep it to a minimum. I am not a teetotaler, but I only drink on special occasions in extreme moderation. Pity really, a glass (as in single) is actually good health wise.
Genograms...
...like dysfunctional family trees. It's easier to count how many people on both sides of our families that AREN'T recovering alcoholics. Apart from a sip of specialty brew ale that my son sends my way on occasion, I haven't had a drink in years. Or as Dirty Harriet might say, a girl's got to know her limitations.
Love, Andrea Lena
I dunno about now...
But, back in college, Alcohol seemed to flow through my body without sticking / having effect. One evening, with friends, we decided to put it to the "test"... They paid, and I had nine (9) shots in a thirty (30) minute period (okay, they were light shots - this was an on-campus bar after all)... Nobody else was drinking. After the nine (not all at once - but spaced fairly evenly over the half hour) were down. I was still talking normally. No increase in volume, etc. I got up, had no impact on my ability to walk or perform tasks requiring balance, etc. (as reported by the others. Given the amount of alcohol, I'd not have trusted my own opinion!)... No headache the next day. Nothing. (I might as well have been drinking flavored water as far as I could tell.)
As a result of this, I never had the desire to drink much. I'd at most have a single frozen Strawberry Daiquiri or a Fuzzy Naval or some such... Or maybe a glass of wine. Given what happened to my brother, this is probably a good thing. (He's a mostly dry alcoholic.)
I figure, either it was a result of my (at that time) very high metabolism or my subconscious' attempt to protect me from doing/saying something that I shouldn't. {This was in a major denial phase - since I KNEW it wasn't possible I was a woman...}
Perhaps one reason you've had so few drinks is a subconscious recollection of this event and what happened?
Annette
I much prefer alcohol to nervous breakdowns
Alcohol is a wonderful reliever of stress.
At the end of a tough day at work, I always came home and had a few glasses of wine, and the stresses just melted away. I know a proportion of people get addicted to it - and I'm amazed how many people on this site confess to being in that category - but as long as you drink in moderation, it's better than any drug. (OK, I know in theory alcohol is a drug, but you know what I mean.)
I know I drink more than is advised, but I never get to the point where I am anything other than jolly - no nastiness/violence or lack of memory of the previous evening. I fully believe alcohol helped me through a job full of continual stress without any mental health issues, and I continue to drink now I have retired.
Life without alcohol would seem like hell.