TopShelf TG Fiction in the BigCloset!
Well, one thing has come out of the massive number of flashbacks I'd been dealing with the last couple of days - a recovered memory of some of what happened.
But now, the big question, what the heck do I do with this piece of information?
And where do I go from here?
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
If you prefer, you can donate through Patreon:
Become a Patron!
Thank you!
Comments
Move forward.
"the past prepares you for the present" this is advice I have taken to heart. Turn it into a strength, if nothing else use it as a reminder that "I have survived this" and keep pressing on.
"we can turn it all around, because it's not too late, it's NEVER too late" -(never too late, Three Days Grace)
Find how you explained it (hint - it was something about YOU)
Sweetie,
In my long experience, I have always found that I explain or try to understand everything that happens to me. Actually, we all do that. The younger we are, the more the explanation is US. Ask 2-3 yr old why the Sun comes out in the morning and she will tell you that it is so she can go out to play.
When it is bad things, hurtful things even horrible things it is the same.I have heard 5 yr olds who had been beaten bloody with coat hangers or burned with clothes irons tell their therapists that it was because they are bad but Mommie does love me.
These seriously erroneous explanations gradually form a part of our core identity; I am bad; I am undeserving of being loved; I am a seductive little twat, et cetera...One of mine became "if I need to be loved/ held/comforted that means I am unworthy of having that love". (I am the eldest of 8 children from a Mother who maybe had the emotional resources to deal with 2, I often now feel sad for her. She had to know that beating a 3 yr old with a razor strop was wrong.
The strop didn't damage me but my understanding of why sure as Hell did especially when added to my own understanding of my "other-ness"
Honey, root out those old understandings, see them with adult eyes and let them go then let them go again and again and again. You will heal.
a fellow "sister of the secret"
Joani
what to do
Process it, see how it relates to your life now, incorporate any lessons that you think may be valid (it probably doesn't have much meaning now other than a scary memory to get over as it's the past)forget it and get on with yor life.