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I have a serious question. Do you LIKE getting erections? Is it supposed to feel good?
Well, I dont. I hate mine with a passion. They hurt. They make it harder to wear the kind of clothes I like. And they are a reminder I am not the person I want to be, need to be, or am inside, depending on your point of view.
Ah, well.
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Comments
Well, I have a male roommate
and he don't seem to mind. Also if it hurt every guy, there would be a lot less porn and sex in the world.
Not certain why one needs to be brave, but...
I think for many heterosexual men, the erection IS the man. Take away the erection and you take away a man's right to exist - at least, I think that's the way most men would see it.
Given the choice of losing his penis or losing a leg, I reckon most would chose the leg.
Is that helpful?
Charlotte
My roommate agrees with that
My roommate agrees with that statement about losing the leg. His words were "bye bye leg."
bye bye leg
I'd agree with that...still its just a body part that one can have fun with or can be a nuisance. (tends to have a mind of its own)
++++++++++++
Cartman: A fine day of plundering we had boys. What about yourselves? Here you are lads, plenty of booty to go around. A round of grog for me boys. A round of grog for everyone!
Brave answer
Ok, so I'm willing to say I'm not Trans, I'm a CD infantilist(to give the proper name), a sissy baby adult/ little girl. I have never thought of the removal of my mini-me, it's just to unthinkable. So I can answer honestly; for the most part yes, I do enjoy them, they, and it, are a sort of anchor, a constant in my life that helps keep me ballanced. I know what it does and can trust it to do so. On the other hand though, they can be annoying or innoportunistic in nature and often just plain confusing " ooooh a bird flying" 'DOINK' "what the...". Anyway... I think thats enough of me talking about my me, but I think most guys would feel the same.
If you have physical pain
If you have physical pain when you got one, I would suggest to go see a doctor!
as Anna say "they can be annoying or innoportunistic in nature" for my part, they are and I continue to live.
But since I'm in some in-between as to any status I might not be the best person to risk an answer to that question.
Peace and Love
tmf
P.S. And a lot of Health.
Probably not transgender
When I was in my early 20's and Testosterone was really cookin in my body. I used to really like roddin the old lady out, and what I got out of my thang was really awesome feeling. Hyeah!
Gwendolyn
I'll give an answer
It depends on the situation.
If in a public situation, it can be embarrassing. However in private, this isn't a problem.
I don't usually experience physical pain in regards to an erection, but I don't wear clothing whereby there isn't enough room for the expansion and associated discomfort due to space restrictions. I can see if you are attempting to constrict yourself to fit feminine garments how this could cause serious discomfort.
The only times I've found an erection to be painful is after bruising myself through overexertion, scratching myself leaving a sore patch of skin, or attempting to urinate through an erection.
Given the right stimulus, arousal can be very pleasurable, after all that is the way the human body is programmed in order to continue propagation of the species. So, yes it can feel very good under the right circumstances.
As for liking or disliking, it is something my body does. I like being able to be sexually aroused, when I'm able to act on the situation. I don't necessarily like having an erection when I don't want one, but I don't dislike it. It is something my body does that can be nice, but is also something I can ignore when I want it to go away.
To any non-trans guy brave enough to answer
For me, it is a part of being a guy. I get a reaction when I see a pretty woman, but am fortunate in that I can control and hide any "salutes"
May Your Light Forever Shine
You'll know me
Trans I may be, but at this point, I do enjoy a good stiffie.
I am willing to loose it if/when the time comes, but for the moment we get along fine. Like the dog going to the vet, it doesn't really understand what I have in mind yet (ouch, perhaps another analogy would be better). And yes, in the presence of a pretty girl it does tend to take charge.
Hmmm?
I would think that the question would have been better posed to those of us who are TG; pre- op or non-operative? I'd imagine that any non-TG bio male here would have no problem whatsoever. The question remains for us...do we feel pain? Do we feel guilty because our body somehow has once again betrayed our psyche? Do we feel inauthentic because our body responds the way it is wired?
More than any other answer, the one you seek to discern is your own. How do you feel. And your answer is that you don't feel good at all about it; it IS a reminder of what you wish to leave behind. It is something that says to you that you're not quite where you want to be. It may scream at you that you're completely wrong about who you believe yourself to be. But really, much of what it does you have no control over. You can't help yourself no more than if you batted your eyes or sneezed when a gust of wind blew dust in your face. It just is what it is. Once again, Dottie sweet dear, you're not alone.
From Three Girls:
Terri has M.S, and isn't in a place where she 'qualifies' for GRS because of her health issues. Never the less, Yuki loves her....every part of her...
“You’re a woman in every way that matters to me. I didn’t fall in love with what you could be or should be, Ter…I fell in love with who you are, and you make me very, very happy. Let me love you?†Yuki’s words were almost slurred as she resumed kissing her lover. She rose from the couch and knelt beside and began once again to kiss Terri. Her hands probed and pushed and scratched and caressed, leaving Terri shuddering with feelings she had never known. Kisses behind the ear and on the neck were quickly replaced by a hand undoing the front hook to Terri’s bra.
“I’m not real.†She sobbed once again as Yuki moved the false aside to attend to the authentic. The breasts were small; almost the breasts of a twelve year old girl, but they were the breasts of a girl nonetheless. Yuki kissed her and nibbled in places never before noticed by any other than their owner. Terri began to laugh even as the tears streamed down her cheeks. Yuki continued to kiss Terri’s breasts as her hands reached further down.
“NO!†Terri pled, her body shuddering even in the midst of protest.
“Yes….I love you…not what you should be or what you wish to be, but you; here and now.†She raised her head and began to kiss Terri’s cheeks; savoring her lover’s tears. Hands continued to probe and caress and treasure all over until the woman before her lay back, sobbing. Joy and pain and regret and sadness and relief and love and hope mixed together as Yuki placed her head on her lover’s stomach, still kneeling next to the couch.
Love, Andrea Lena
thanks, 'Drea
And Tante should check out the latest Dottie and Jaci story, its a good one, I think.
after 15 yrs in "rlt"
i only get erections when i want to and my body's drive to want one is rare but so demanding eventually it cannot be ignored
pre-mones that would happen 5 or more times a day ( excessive i know ) im happier now a days with 1 a month or so.
15 minutes or so of alone time and im good for another month
i try not to dwell on it it humiliating to know it has this power over me and emotionally it can be draining but i have come to a point where i do it and im happy for another month so all is good again
dayna
Um... I'd say it severly
Um... I'd say it severly depends on the situation. It can be rather emberassing and if you get an erection while it is pinched in your boxers and legs (and maybe a chair or something) it isn't really fun.
On the other hand, why should I not enjoy getting errections. If normal guys wouldn't enjoy getting errections humanity would have died out by now.
I think you've kind of answered your question yourself already. Clothing of cisgender guys is meant to accomodate occasional errections. Getting an errection sort of enforces/reminds the fact a guy is a guy and therefore nothing bad for most guys. Considering we can use errections for fun I'd say in general I enjoy getting an errection (except it emberasses me or hurts ^^)
Beyogi
HELL YEAH! ;D
It's awesome! :) I've come to realize though, I don't actually need a penis to be a man. I'm quite willing to sacrifice it to make my woman half happy. = )
Answers
an excellently posed question & fairly asked so, here goes erections are part of any man's rresponse to natures call,as a man who has had prostate cancer,they are now few & far between so any I get are appreciated, also being 71 slows a guy down too.. so in all this I must say that you my dear child must be patient until your surgery, your body is what it is and cant help what it does..in other words ,shit happens, or to ladies ,poop occures, just be the person you are & in a while you will be whole 'HUGS Papa
"They hurt"?
As a non-trans guy, I'd agree with one of the comments above. If it's physical pain with every (or nearly every) erection, you NEED to see a doctor. It doesn't matter if you're trans or not, that is a warning of some, possibly, serious problems that may take medical intervention to fix. I am bisexual and tend to get erections from many sources, both male and female. I ignored some pain I had with erections for about two weeks. The pain became fairly constant over the next couple of weeks so I went to see the doctor. It was too late. I ended up with an orchiectomy losing my left testicle to it. Now erections are more difficult to attain. PLEASE see a doctor.
On the other hand, if you're talking about psychological pain, talk to your psychologist/psychiatrist about it. You didn't explain the type of pain you are enduring. Also, is it only when dressed in feminine attire? Male attire is design to mitigate that constriction that female clothing doesn't allow for.
Hugs,
Erica
When did you notice This
You raise more then one question. In fact several.
Do men like it? I guess this means do we enjoy it? I think most men who are not fully TG, enjoy the pleasure they get when they have an erection and are doing something positive and enjoyable with it either with their partner/wife/lover or for self-pleasure.
Can it hurt? Yes sometimes. If it occurs at the wrong time and the situation can not be handled (pun not necessarily intended), or if it lasts too long, or if it gets irritated.
Since I do not wear clothing that an erection could cause a problem with, I can not address that.
But I think you need to answer a question. When did you start "hating it"? When you were married and living as a man, did you enjoy sex with your wife or other women. Did the sexual act give you pleasure?
Did you hate it when you were a child? How old were you when you started hating it rather then it being a part of your body?
So perhaps your hatred only started when the need to be Dorothy overcame every other part of your personality!
Rami
RAMI
Time for a frank moment.
I discovered masturbation by accident about 10 years old. I was climbing a big rope and things, well, um just happened. Wow !
Having never heard the words, "I love you", I was keen on this self boinking as a way to get pleasure. I suppose that by the time I was 12, I was a sex addict. Then I got married at 19, and drafted a month later, and all that greatly accelerated things. Perhaps I was still a sex addict but for about 10 years, the focus of my activities was on the receptacle meant for it, that only my wife had.
Work, education and family pressures somehow brought this shame into my life again. I wonder if your pain comes from masturbating more than 5 times a day. I got sore when I did that.
Then around 35, it all quit working. Oh, I had desire, but none of the erectile part of things worked. Mistakenly my wife thought it was about her not being desireable, but in truth, I think it just broke; or maybe just wore out.
Years later, my youngest daughter would get married and leave the house, leaving me feeling profoundly lost. My wife was firmly involved in her career and doing a great job of it, making twice what I did. Later I would find out that she was running from me, and probably having an affair.
I was back to Masurbating several times a day, and felt such shame that I eventually resolved to do as Jesus said, "if thine hand offend thee, cut it off". In the NT, I go for the literal interpretation, no discussion. So, having several sacks of ice in the freezer, a scalpel, and a plan, I set about to cut the shameful organs off. Miraculously, I found a retiring Urologist that would do it for $1000, and set an appointment for him to do it, knowing that self castration would land me in the slammer for 6 months. At that time, I had not planned on coming out, or transitioning, because I loved my wife and family so much; I'd just live my life out with the family, being a dutiful husband and father; a silent unich.
Somehow, things got all bollixed up, and I wound up in the hospital because someone thought I was suicidal. They shot me full of stuff that was like truth serum and I totally spilled my guts.
I was thrown out on christmas eve, and they are gone to this day.
With the loss of the family, the guilt was so bad that I felt that I was no longer fit to be a man, and in my drug clouded state, decided that I would be better off as a woman. Of course, there was my birth name, and the early childhood as a girl ... It was then that all my surpressed T feelings came to the surface, and I would not find out until many years later that I am XY pais.
I wonder how much of our feelings start out with a loveless life, and a way to seek comfort; any comfort. Masturbation is one of the easiest ways to gain happiness without depending on another soul in our life. Many times, those in our lives are just seeking for ways that we can make them happy without having to make us happy ...
Dorothy
you are on your way to a new life and i applaud you for it, to me the stigma of having erections and hoping they are good depends on the individual. for me they are of no consequence and serve only as a reminder that it still works. as i have no sex drive to speak of they by no definition define who i am or what i am, you are looking to get your self to a place you need to be, your a girl heart and soul thus you see them as something that's wrong and should be not there and soon you will fill your dream, as for me having a dick and erections isn't all its cracked up to be they just are there and not all are defined by their genitalia.
Varicocele?
when i tried to join the armed forces as a teenager i was denied due to my having a Varicose Seal http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varicocele#Signs_and_symptoms
basically blood flow from an erect penis is impeded so erections could last for 30 minutes or more, which was extremely embarrasing when at school or in public, added to that i'd have a dull throbbing pain in my lower abdomen.
the Army doctors found it during the "turn your head and cough" test as one of the sympotoms is that there is what feels like a large handfull of macaroni inside the scrotal sac, i had assumed it was normal as anything sex related was not discussed in our very catholic family of 14 kids (i was #10).
being post op it's one more nasty birth defect that was corrected with GRS.
As for liking erections, my wife and i got a lot of pleasure from mine until the deeply repressed Amanda re-emerged, and looking back i was always lying there awake after sex while she (and prior partners) slept, thinking "is that it" and knowing that something was missing, like listening to an orchestra but only hearing 1/2 of the instruments.
when i started on hormones i soon found the missing part of the "orchestra", as the body started to match the brain and the missing feedback from body "sensors" came online as it were.
*hugs*
Amanda
Hmmm
Honestly i never thought about it.
I think its all bout how your brain is wired too. For a non-trans guy like me, Yeah it's "normal" and very pleasurable (well other than when wearing tight jeans) Though i have to admit it's kind of annoying when i wake up with one
I have a few tg friends and the feelings you're having are not unusual. For you its unwanted and as you said a painful reminder of what you need to be. I know a few FTMs that feel the exact same way about their breasts to the point that they feel actual pain.
OK, let me see how to put it...
Looking at it very clinically, the erection itself is neither pleasant or unpleasant. It just is there. For instance, waking with a morning woody is not pleasant in and of itself. It's not like I wake up and think "hey, nice, morning woody." In fact, it can be a bit inconvenient if, say, I need to pee at that moment -- even a half-erection makes it difficult to relax and aim. But it's not painful either.
It can be uncomfortable -- if you wear clothes that are too tight, for instance. Again, it's not the erection itself that causes the discomfort, but the fact that the enlarged member can reach places it wasn't supposed to go and, well, gets pinched.
It can be embarrassing -- again, if you are wearing too tight or too skimpy clothes and it becomes evident to other people. Like the girl you were trying to hit on. And let's not talk about erections in locker rooms (they do happen, particularly during the teens, even for hetero males. Sometimes an idle thought is all it takes). That's a sure way to get a boy bullied.
But, here's the thing, the erection is associated with sexual arousal (usually triggered by it), and it helps a lot in satisfying that urge (by exposing the sensitive tissue to stimuli), so yeah, I like having them. Without erections I would have a lot more trouble achieving sexual satisfaction (I don't care for the "tickle the prostate" approach), so I intend on keep having them for as long as I can.
As for the inconvenient & embarrassing parts... well, it's manageable. Wear comfortable pants. Buy the right size of underwear. Wear briefs, not boxers, with short pants. Throw out briefs when the elastic begins to give. Buy the right size of swim trunks. Not rocket science, you know.
My thoughts on the matter.
I agree with Sir Lee on it just being there. Unlike the average man or some, I don't consider my penis the center of my world. Would I miss it if I lost it? I suppose to some extent but the world wouldn't come crashing down.
The most when an erection can be painful is with boxers and it happening upside down. I'm not the sort to stress if I get a hard-on and it might be somewhat visible. I'm not even thinking of having sex with a person consciously so I move on. There are very few times I've paid active attention to it. Some people may be more self-conscious about being aroused in this manner but frankly I try to actively ignore it or just don't pay attention to it period.