Chapter 9

Tom’s last week at work

After my previous three weekends living as Clare, the next weekend felt a little flat and uneventful. I dutifully made my pre-Christmas visit to see my father, who lived between Newcastle and Sunderland. I also went out for a meal to meet his new lady friend, the first he’d had since the death of my mother just over a year and a half ago. Things seemed to be getting quite serious between them, which in some respects was a relief to me, as I would no longer have to worry about how he was coping, or make such regular and expensive trips up to North East England. She was friendly and polite towards me, but she had a grown up family of her own, and I could see that in future I would be of secondary importance in their lives, and from now onwards I would largely be on my own.

At first I was a little anxious whether, like Debbie, my father might notice a subtle change to my demeanor or the tiny holes which were now quite well-established in my ears, but if he did so then he said nothing. I think he was more pre-occupied with his new friend and in preparing for their extended trip, but he was also anxious to know my plans over the Christmas holiday. I’d said nothing about my taking a period of leave from work, in case he felt guilty that I wouldn’t now be able to return to my former home at that time. To put his mind at rest I explained that I’d been invited to stay with a friend named Suzanne and would probably accept her invitation, although the details had not yet been finalised. I also mentioned that I’d been invited to a New Year’s party with one of my workmates named Debbie, and both my father and his lady friend seemed to be quite satisfied that I was going to be alright.

On the train back to London on Sunday evening I thought long and hard about what I was going to do during my two and a half weeks away from work. I hated the thought of being alone over the Christmas holiday and had enjoyed Suzanne’s company. I’d also found that dressing and acting as a young woman had been fun, although the prospect of spending such a long time as Clare was quite daunting. I therefore decided to compromise and to suggest that Clare might stay for the eight days between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day. I could also offer to help Suzanne with any shopping before that time, to decorate her flat and take down the decorations afterwards, but would do so as Tom rather than Clare. Once I’d made up my mind, it was as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and suddenly I began to look forward to Christmas.

I was greeted by Debbie as I arrived at the office the next day, who informed me that our two colleagues were not expected in until lunchtime and that we were therefore free to discuss my alter ego.

‘I was really impressed by Clare when I met her the weekend before last,’ she began.

‘So you told me,’ I replied.

‘Did you tell your father about Clare this weekend?’

‘No, it isn’t the sort of thing that a young man says to his father.’

‘Did he notice anything different about you?’

‘I don’t think so, or at least he said nothing if he did do so.

‘And have you made up your mind about your plans for the Christmas holiday yet?’

‘I don’t really fancy spending the Christmas holiday on my own so I’ve decided to accept Suzanne’s invitation and stay between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day, if it’s still convenient for her,’ I answered.

‘Great! So does that also mean you’ll also come to my party as Clare?’ she asked.

I hesitated for a moment, but then thought to myself, ‘what the hell! Why not?’

‘Yes, I suppose so, if you want me to, as long as you are discreet and promise not to announce it to the whole world.’

Debbie looked really pleased.

‘That’s great news, as I’m planning to stay with my father for Christmas, and so otherwise I wouldn’t have the opportunity of meeting Clare again,’ she answered.

It seemed a little strange, but was not entirely unwelcome, how both Suzanne and Debbie seemed to seek out Clare’s rather than Tom’s company.

‘I’m sure that Suzanne will be pleased when you tell her,’ continued Debbie. ‘By the way, I have a carrier bag for you in my locker with some of Clare’s things inside, which I’ll hand over to you after work today. Suzanne also asked me to tell you that she will only be accepting Video calls from Clare and not from Tom this week. She says that if you want to talk to her then you should first send a text asking her to connect to Skype.’

‘Have you been in contact with Suzanne?’ I asked, slightly surprised.

‘Yes, she telephoned me at work last Wednesday lunchtime and we had a chat when no-one else was around. I offered to call in to her flat and collect your things on my way home from work last Friday and bring them in for you today.’

‘You didn’t mention her call to me last week. What did you two talk about?’ I asked, knowing that the only thing they had in common with one another was myself.

‘Oh, it was only girls’ stuff and nothing to do with you, young Tom.’

‘I’ll bet’

‘If you really want to know, then you’ll have to wait until we have an opportunity to discuss our plans with our friend Clare,’ she answered smiling, but nevertheless seemed determined that she would say nothing more on the subject.

The idea of Suzanne and Debbie having been in touch and making plans together both intrigued and bothered me, but I knew that I’d get nothing more from Debbie and so I decided to ask Suzanne for some more details of their conversation that evening. As promised, Debbie handed me a large carrier bag as we were leaving work. I thanked her but didn’t examine the contents at the time as I didn’t wish to excite questions from Helen who was leaving work at the same time. Once I got home I found that Suzanne had carefully packed a clean set of underwear, a skirt, a blouse, a pair of tights, her long wig, a pair of shoes and various cosmetics into the bag. There was also a note addressed to Clare, which said: ‘if we are going to spend Christmas Day with my friends, you’ll need as much practice as possible beforehand.’ It was signed: ‘love Suzanne.’

At first I’d felt a little irritated with Suzanne’s peremptory instructions to be sure to change into Clare before contacting her, and her assumption that I was going to accept her invitation for Christmas. There was also the matter of her phoning Debbie and talking about me to behind my back. However, I was quite anxious to talk to her again after more than a week, and so I decided that I’d go along with her plan. I took a shower and carefully shaved my arms and legs. It was still relatively early but I assumed that there would be no visitors and so by 7.30pm I’d dressed and transformed myself into Clare once again. As soon as I was satisfied with my appearance I sent a text message from Clare saying that she was logged on to Skype. Whilst I waited for a response I ate a sandwich, before my computer indicated that Suzanne was online and trying to contact me.

‘Hi Suzanne!’

‘Hi Clare, it’s good to hear from you again, and as usual you’re looking good. So how did your visit to your father go?’

‘Alright I suppose, but it was a little dull. At least I’ve fulfilled my filial duty for the year. We exchanged presents, went out for a meal and nothing much else happened’ I said.

‘So it wasn’t as exciting as your recent weekends staying with me,’ she commented.

‘No, I suppose not,’ I admitted.

‘I’m pleased to hear that.’

‘By the way, what did you talk to my friend Debbie about last week?’ asked Clare.

‘Oh nothing much, I just wanted to compare notes with her as to whether she found you to be as convincing as I did, and whether there were any aspects of your presentation where you needed some more practice. She was very flattering about you, and wants me to talk you into going to her party as Clare rather than Tom.’

‘I know. But you don’t need to; I’ve already agreed to go, this morning. Also I’ll be willing to stay with you for eight days over Christmas beginning on Christmas Eve, if you still want me to.’

‘Yes of course I do, but I was also rather hoping that I might call upon your help once again this weekend, as I still have several jobs still to do.’

‘Yes, by all means, but does it have to be as Clare?’

‘Yes please, if you don’t mind. I want you to take me to the hairdresser and to get my fingernails done, and it’ll be far less embarrassing to be taken there by a young woman helper,’ answered Suzanne. ‘In any event I thought you enjoyed your weekends as Clare?’

‘I do, but I’m beginning to get a little concerned about the amount of time I’m spending dressed as a woman, particularly if I’m going to be staying with you for a week soon afterwards.’

‘I don’t see why you should be worried. Is there something that you would rather be doing this weekend as Tom?’

‘No, not really,’ I admitted.

‘In that case I hope that Clare will come round for a meal on Friday evening after work. I’ve also invited your friend Debbie as well, as there’s something we would like to discuss with you.’

‘What sort of thing.’

‘You’ll have to wait and see.’

I sighed.

‘Yes, alright then, I’ll see you on Friday evening.’

Nothing further happened at work over the next three days and there was no further reference to Clare by Debbie. I did, however, practice with Clare’s clothes and makeup each evening, but didn’t contact Suzanne or mention it to Debbie. Friday was going to be my last day at work until the New Year and so I brought Christmas cards for my colleagues into work together with a little gift for Debbie. They thanked me, and wished me well for my holiday and a happy Christmas. Later, when the others were out of earshot, Debbie motioned for me to come over to her desk.

‘I’ve got a Christmas present but it’s for Clare rather than Tom and so I can’t give it to you now. I understand from Suzanne that you’ll be seeing her after work this evening. She has invited me to come as well and so, if you don’t mind, I’ll travel with you and hand it over this evening.’

‘That will be fine by me’, I replied, ‘but I’ll need to call in to my flat first to change out of my work clothes and pick up Clare’s things before going on to Suzanne’s flat. My bedsit’s only about a quarter of a mile away from her flat’ and so it won’t delay us much.’

It was a comparatively mild night for mid-December, but was very dark when Debbie and I reached my home at about 5.30pm. There were no lights on in the house as I let us in through the front door. I turned on the hall light and we went up to my first floor bed-sitting room.

‘Is it normally this quiet here?’ asked Debbie.

‘Yes, sometimes. The other tenants tend to keep to themselves. Most use the place as a dormitory whilst they are working, and disappear to their families at weekends,’ I answered.

‘It seems a lonely and depressing place to live,’ she commented.

‘It is alright during the week, but would be a bit bleak over the Christmas holiday,’ I replied.

I handed Debbie the bag in which Clare’s clothes and wig were stored.

‘Hold on to these for me for a moment and look the other way whilst, I just change out of my suit,’ I said.

‘As there’s no-one around in the house why don’t you change straight away into these clothes and arrive at Suzanne’s flat dressed as Clare, I’m sure she’d be pleased if you did so.’

‘Maybe so, but I don’t have an outdoor coat to wear. I would attract attention to myself if I were to go out wearing just a skirt and blouse in the middle of winter.’

‘You’d be welcome to borrow my raincoat for the short journey, if you like. I’m wearing a jacket underneath and will be quite warm enough.’

I sighed, and then took the offered carrier bag.

‘You and Suzanne are forever trying to turn me into a woman,’ I said.

She smiled.

‘Yes, I suppose that may be true, but it’s only because we both enjoy Clare’s company, and get the impression that you do as well,’ she replied.

My transformation into Clare didn’t take long and I made a pretty good job with my hair and makeup. Debbie looked on impressed. As soon as I was finished, I began to collect a few of Tom’s clothes, and put them into a carrier bag.

‘What are those for?’ she asked.

‘The clothes are for me to change into before I come back on Sunday night.’

‘Are you sure that you are going to need them. You said yourself that the place will probably be deserted and so you’ll be able to creep back unseen on Sunday, I think you should leave Tom behind for this weekend,’ she said emphatically.

Debbie was hard to argue with once she’d decided on a course of action. She took away the plastic bag and placed it on a table and handed over her raincoat. It fitted me perfectly well, so we made our way the quarter of a mile to Suzanne’s flat.

Debbie was right. Suzanne appeared to be delighted to open her door and see that it was Clare rather than Tom standing there and welcomed us both in.

‘I’m afraid that I’m running late and the meal won’t be ready for over an hour, but all the preparations have been made so we can have a glass of wine whilst we’re waiting. I also understand that Debbie has got something to give to you Clare.’

Debbie took out a small package that she’d been carrying in her shopping bag.

‘My father works for a medical supply company and obtained these for me. They’re intended as a Christmas gift but this will be a good opportunity to show you how to put them on.’

‘What are they?’ I asked.

‘They’re a pair of silicone breast forms designed for women who’ve had a double mastectomy. If you attach them to your chest as instructed, they’re supposed to look and feel just like the real thing’ replied Debbie. ‘

‘Really?’

‘Would you like me to show you how to put them on?’

‘I suppose so.’

‘In that case I’d like you to strip off above the waist and sit down in front of the mirror next to me.’

I felt distinctly embarrassed being bare-chested in front of Suzanne and Debbie, but neither of them seemed to give it a second thought. Once I was sitting, Debbie carefully placed each breast in its correct position and drew around the outline with a felt tipped pen. She then stuck an inverted v-shaped piece of double-sided medical grade adhesive tape above each nipple, and a shorter piece underneath.

‘These adhesive strips will carry the weight of each breast, and then we’ll put a thin line of glue to stick the edges down securely. Once you’ve added some flesh-toned makeup the joins shouldn’t be visible.’

She spread the adhesive just inside the outline of each breast and then added another line around the breasts themselves before waiting for a few minutes.

‘Now comes the fiddly part. I’ll do it today, but you’ll need to pay attention so you can do it for yourself next time.’

She peeled off the back of the double-sided tape and then carefully positioned each breast, and when she was confident, she begun to press each one in place, beginning at the bottom and moving to the top.

‘I want you to hold each breast in place for a few minutes whilst I work around smoothing down and hiding the edges.’

I did as I was instructed. When Debbie finished working round the edges, she cleaned away any remaining trace of the adhesive or the felt tip pen.

‘How on earth would I do this on my own?’ I asked as Debbie completed her work.

‘With difficulty, I guess, but don’t worry; they’re designed to stay in place for a week or more at a time, if you wish.’

Before I’d time to respond, Debbie instructed me to remove my hands and let the two appendages dangle under their own weight. The result was quite surprising. What had at first appeared to be two quite small breasts seemed to enlarge once gravity had its effect on them, and their weight also pulled my existing flesh into a new shape creating a most convincing cleavage. The two breasts now hung down, seeming to move of their own accord whenever I moved my upper body. Debbie then carefully worked round the edges using some concealer until the joins were no longer visible. She then dabbed on some darker powder between my new breasts to enhance the appearance of my cleavage.

Suzanne came over and expressed her surprise and admiration.

‘Debbie you’ve done a great job with those, I’d never have known that they were not the real thing’ she said.

‘It’s as if they have a life of their own,’ I commented.

‘Yes, so you will now understand why women need to wear a bra to keep our breasts under control’ added Suzanne.

Debbie helped me to put on a bra and adjusted the straps to fit and provide support for my new shape, I now appeared to have two substantial, but otherwise quite normal looking female breasts.

‘I’ll find you something with a lower neckline to wear so you we can all admire your new assets over dinner,’ said Suzanne with a smile.

She went to the drawer in the spare bedroom and returned with a rather skimpy white knitted top together with a ruby pendant, both of which I put on. The top showed off my cleavage rather nicely.

‘How does it feel to have real boobs Clare?’ asked Debbie.

‘You tell me, I wouldn’t know. However, these two look and feel like pretty good substitutes,’ I replied smiling.

‘Alright you two, it’s time to stop admiring Clare’s boobs and help me serve up the dinner,’ said Suzanne.