I got ambushed by that muse again. This seems to be getting much longer that I thought it would be.

Some of the girls apparently already have bikinis on as they start to strip right there in front of me. Don't get me wrong that much visible girl flesh is the stuff dreams are made of. The slight problem is I'm expected to add to it.

Okay brain do your stuff

1) RUN

2) There is a telltale bulge I'm sure they will notice.

3) RUN

4) From the looks of those bikini's they are like a jigsaw puzzle to put on.

5) Running is a very good plan. Leave, flee, seek refuge.

6) well there really is no thought six as I am already moving to the door and my brain has decided that it will shutdown for now as this is way too much for me to handle. Speaking of handles what am I suppose to do with this now? Some small part of me knows I should do something but all I do is stare at it.

"Krisa. Krisa. KRISA" who what when where how? that's from some teacher in school can't remember why though. Random brain firing anyone? I feel a hand on my shoulder. Its Mrs. Peterson.

"Krisa are you alright honey?" Of course I'm not alright. I'm a boy that is expected to be a girl worse yet one in a bikini on the back lawn. Can't you tell I am a boy? All this would have been perfect to say. So of course I say absolutely nothing and shake my head from side to side.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of honey a few of the other girls are not as developed as they like to show. You are not alone we all feel like nature takes too much time. They will grow with time and I am sure you will be full breasted in no time." Part of me thinks she is trying to console me. The rest thinks oh god don't tell me they will get bigger. They already have caused me too much trouble. Its too much for me to handle. I may be a boy but even boys cry when life hurts. Yes I have tears on my face. I can't stop those from happening. My throat is a huge lump and it hurts. Mrs. Peterson pulls me in for a motherly hug. I can't hold it back anymore and cry. I vaguely here her say something like body shy, whatever that means, give us a few mins. Give me hours and it still wont change things. I mention I'm scared in a muffle since my face is buried in her shoulder. She makes soothing noises, tells me how brave a girl I am. That does not help I cry more. Suddenly I am being hugged by a few more people. I unbury my face long enough to see the other girls also hugging me with tears in their eyes as well. This does affect me. I am not sure how but it seems to help.

These strangers who have never met me before and have befriended me, although mostly unwilling, are really caring about my feelings. I have never had this before it was always painful lard butt, fatty and many other crude names from others my age both boys and girls. I turn to these girls and cry with them not in sorry but in some sort of companionship. Mrs. Peterson stands up and lets us cry ourselves out. I thank them all for being so nice and understanding. They say stuff like we will wait for you in the back yard. They leave via an exit beside kitchen and I am alone with Mrs. Peterson, who looks at me with the same motherly look of love that my mom does.

"Come sweety lets grab your purse so you can fix yourself up in the bathroom. Where did you leave your purse?" Purse whats a purse...oh the bag thing ummm.

"The van?" I think it may be there though why would I need it to fix myself up? Mrs. Peterson shows me to a bathroom and says she will get my purse. I am alone in this very nice bathroom. It may be small just a sink and toilet but it is still very nice. I look in the mirror over the sink to see a girls face with black streaks here and there running down from eyes and lipstick smeared making it look much more like a sad clowns face. Oh that's me. I look down and it takes me a bit to figure out how to work the sink controls. Im still not sure what that third tap is for. Soap I need soap to get this junk off my face. uh ok there is kinda cute, omg I did not just think that, colored beads and dolls on counter but no soap. Splashing water on my face without soap just doesn't seem like a good idea. I am still standing there when Mrs. Peterson returns with my purse which is put beside the sink. I ask her about soap to wash my face. I use please of course. And she says there is cold cream which is better for my face anyways behind the mirror. Really yes that fancy mirror with curved wood border is also a cabinet.

The jar of cold cream is then put in my hand and she leaves me again. Not really knowing what to do I read the side of can for instructions. Yes I do actually read them ha ha. Ive heard the tales about men and not reading instructions and what not for years. Ill pass on that bit of male bonding thank you very much. Besides they are fairly simple put on face, do not get in eyes, rinse thoroughly after use. Repeat if necessary. For best results work around face with gentle motions. It seems to do the trick and removes the makeup but my skin feels funny, not dirty funny or oily funny but soft funny.

Ok I am supposed to put on some of the makeup that is in the purse. How do I do this? What is all this stuff. I pull it out of the purse and most of it looks new and not really used. There is a blue tube that says covergirl on it, a small paint plate thing with a tiny brush the paint looks to be a brown color. There is another paint thing with a wider looking brush in it in a much lighter color that the other one. There is two lipsticks those I know what they are. And three pencil crayons with clear caps all browns. There is what I guess is a compack with skin colored powder that looks almost wet and another one that looks dry but hard. More reading I guess. Hmm the first paint thing is called maybeline eyeshadow. Ok . Second one is Gor blush. The tube is black mascara with curved brush. The first skin color is Revlon concealer/foundation. The second skin color is pressed finishing powder also by Revlon. Well its nice to know what they are but what do I do with them?

Mrs. Peterson returns and sees me in a dilemma she puts down a small bundle of cloth and asks me if I have worn makeup before. I say yes as I just removed it. She then proceeds to teach me some tricks as she puts it. First I take the little sponge thing from the concealer foundation and following her instruction pat it around my face making sure to get most of it including sides and just under chin but not over the eyebrows. Next is using the pressed powder to seal the foundation she explains. The blush is to go under the cheekbones if I want to raise them, on the cheekbone if i want to bring them in, and over if I feel they are too high. I am also to be careful to put a very small amount as too much makes me look like a tramp. I put some on under the cheekbones using the brush after I tap it so that you can barely see it on cheek but it does change my face to look more girly.

The eyeshadow is done in a similar way put on inside to bring eyes out, outside to bring eyes in, up to eyebrow edge for the night time look, just on lid for daytime. I can also apparently use different shades of eyeshadow for more dramatic effect. She tells me the crayons are eyeliner/lip liner pencils and they are hard for most to put on she explains that on eyes as with the shadow and mascara you change locations to change eye shape. I take a light one and following her instruction put just a tiny bit on lower outside lid. That's a big difference my eyes look well pretty. Next she shows me to outline the edge of my lip with another pencil. This is a little harder but I manage to do it. She says to put on lipstick so that I put it on lightly and along the inside not the outside of both upper and lower lip then I close my lips and smoosh then around this finishes applying it so my lips are even color. I am supposed to blot with a tissue she says but half the time she never bothers. So I put some tissue into the folds she shows me then put in mount and press down with my lips. My lips now look bigger than normal. She says to always inspect my face and if there is powder or stuff where there shouldn't be to use the pressed powder to wipe it off.

The mascara is hard since I have to keep one eye open and the other closed. I mess it up and she shows me how to use a cotton swab to clean off the smeared mascara then how to brush it lightly with eyes open. The trick she says is not to cake the lashes but to brush them out. All we are doing she says is bringing color to the eyelashes we don't normally see. Guess what Crystal's twin is back in the mirror. Mrs. Peterson says I did very good for a first time. I should practice with the different ideas she told me at home. uh sure I can see how that might be useful after my face is a mass of bruises when mom sees me wearing this stuff to begin with. Not gonna happen.

She does ask me about why my ears are not pierced and I tell her mom wont let me. Well its true, I asked mom once and got a lecture on Lebt or something and what not. All I wanted was the one ear. She didn't have to go overboard. Mrs. Peterson says it is a good thing since the school wont let me wear them anyways. Huh? as far as I know the school could care less. Ive seen boys with so many piercings that I wonder why their heads don't rattle.

She does say that she will leave me to get changed and to take all the time I need then shows me where there is a towel to wrap around myself if I am too shy. The door closes with a final click and I lock it from this side.

Now what do I do? I am expect to put on that piece of cloth like any girl I suppose would. I remove my top and bra exposing my man boobies. I separate the pieces of cloth and figure out the top part. I put the triangles behind me and tie the lower string together with a girly style bow. It takes three attempts. Then turn it around and lift the straps up to my neck. This doesn't work and they are below my man boobies. I try again by turning it side to side till the triangles are just below them. Then reach up and try to tie the straps behind my neck. I think I put it in a knot.

In the mirror is a girl with small boobies in a bikini top and black skirt. So far so good. I remove the shoes skirt and panties and try to pull up the bikini bottom. In the mirror is a very obvious boy bulge on a girl. This will never work I slump to floor. I don't want to cry as doing makeup the first time was not easy. I spend a few minutes thinking about what I am gonna say to them. Having a good imagination really does not help at this point. Maybe there is a way to hide it. I stand up in mirror and fish around down below. Well my penis is not to hard to hide if I pull it backwards but the bulge is still there hmmm. Not good enough. I think some more. I remember some talk show about trans people and something about taping. It takes awhile but I vaguely recall what was done.

Standing up I find there is medical tape in the cabinet beside some cloth thingys. I experiment with taping things away so to speak and during one of the trys the testicle goes up. A few more trys I find I can hide them up. Eventually I find a way to get everything hidden with a mass of tape. But I encounter a problem. Now I need to pee. So not fair. I pull a bit of tape aside at the tip of penis. and some skin comes out of the fold not much but a little bit. This is gonna be really painful to remove later. I sit on toilet to pee and it is very strange to do it this way. I have to use tissue to wipe myself as it is not as easy as normal shake and go. I can't help think that girls must do this all the time. I put back on bikini bottom and surprise surprise the girl in the mirror looks like any other girl. I walk a bit and find I can move a bit different from normal but nothing is really painful but the tape does pull a bit.

I grab the towel and wrap in around my bottom just to be sure that nothing is exposed. I take the clothes I was wearing off the floor where I dumped them and think that maybe folding them would be a good idea. I have never folded anything before. Remember me and cleaning. It takes a few trys before I get each piece done in a somewhat good manner. I am proud of what I accomplished. I put the shoes back on my feet and look once again in mirror. I am scared but think I can pull it off. I put my hand on door knob to unlock it and jerk it back. What am I thinking. I can't do this. This is nuts. Why did I put on that tape. I take the towel off and throw it on the ground. Crying once more I lean against the wall and slide down the wall to sit on my rear with my knees up to my face. I grab some tissue and blot my eyes like I was told.

Why am I do all this? Do my new found friends mean that much to me? Is this a part of me? That empty bathroom holds no answers to these questions.

Knock knock

" Krisa are you ok dear" It is the voice of Mrs. Peterson I just can't face anyone.

"Go away!" I scream back.. ok not very manly a comment is it? Im having a bit of a crisis here.

Some jingling sounds occur and a click. Figures she would a key.

"Krisa honey why are you crying again. Come stand up let me see." Its that motherly tone again caring, loving and not one you can deny no matter what. So I stand up in all my freakish glory.

"Come here" which I do " see the pretty girl you are in that mirror. Never be ashamed to show it. You are a girl. Nobody will ever think you are anything but ok." I nod of course, its that cannot deny tone what else am I supposed to do? If I try and say im a boy now after she sees that I really don't even look like one below thanks to that blasted tape. She does something to the clothes on the counter and they look so much more neatly folded, I dont know how she did that. Picking up my towel which she wraps around me way better than I did, and yes even more girly, She grabs my hand and with those motherly soothing noises leads me out of the washroom to my doom.