The Girl Inside The Boy : Prologue

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The Girl Inside The Boy

Carla

by Roo

Prologue

It was back in nineteen fifty when my mother went into labour on a sheep station in outback Australia, where the only medical help was from the flying doctor service. The pilot had engine trouble and had to land a hundred miles away at another station, and by the time the doctor and nurse arrived by four wheel drive four hours later, my sister had died and I was to face life with half of my soul missing.

My twin sister was buried three days later on the property. She was named Jean, and I was named Carl. I had an older brother John, aged eight, and a sister Margarita, or Rita for short, aged six.

My Mum was a cook for the station homestead, and Dad was the leading hand that ran the sheep station.

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Comments

the girl inside the boy

Good first story

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Roo, this was a good start.

Roo, this was a good start. I liked the feel of the characters. The only thing was I was left wanting more.

Thanks Lesley

Thanks for the comment Lesley ,there is a lot more to the story but if i post more chapters i will take a lot more time in writing them .

I am sure i can improve with time :)

HUGS

ROO Roo1.jpg

ROO

I am looking forward to

I am looking forward to them. It was great, and love to read more of the situations "you" get into.

A good start Roo:)

I liked this even with how short it was. It'd make a great outline for a bigger piece. I think a lot of us would like to here more about living in station like as much as the dressing and the discovery of your GID in the story. But I'm more than willing to see this in snippets and stuff.

Great Job, Keep it up:)
*Big Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

Thanks Bailey

Thanks Bailey , It means a lot to get a positive comment from an author like yourself, and i will write more of this story ,once i sort out my writing style

Hugs Roo

ROO Roo1.jpg

ROO

Congratulations on taking

Jemima Tychonaut's picture

Congratulations on taking the plunge with your first story! You sketched out the basic premise and the characters well for so few words and with a little work on the style which will come with experience of writing more, you have an interesting story to take forward.

Hope to see more from you.

 


"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life."



"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

good first story

not bad at all. More from you soon, I hope.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

DogSig.png

Early stuff

I went back and rewrote, very slightly, the first two things I submitted here. I remember my nerves at putting my baby up in a shop window, but after a while (and somewhere in the region of half a million words)it got easier. Some hints? Get yourself a beta-reader, someone to read through the stuff and spot any glaring stuff-ups, such as characters changing names or horrible typos.They can also tell you what they think of the plot line, but you and they should remember whose story it really is.

The only other advice I would give you at this stage is patience. It is probable that you have a 'big scene' somewhere in the future, and there is a tendency, a temptation, to rush the preceding part of the story to get to that point. Writing Big Scenes can be fun, but as Bailey said, the getting there can be a delight. Just think of what the Aussie back country is like; the red soil and the heat, the blackbutt gums spaced against the red haze of the wind-driven dust as your hand flicks past your face every few seconds to get rid of another bloody fly. There's a raucous sound as a flock of black cockies goes past, and the smell of yet another roadkilled roo as it bloats by the side of the unmade track you've driven down to wait for the doc's ute.

Holy Marsupials, Batgirl!

Andrea Lena's picture

...that whole idea of putting it up in the window for all to see? And maybe you felt this way as well, Steph? When I put my first story up, I felt like roadkill roo after taking it on the chin a couple of times at another site. We do indeed write first for ourselves. I know for me that it's easy to forget that I, like many of us here come from two places of insecurity; transgendered and as a writer, with which I struggle all the time. Great encouragement from a terrific writer and a great lady! And, Roo, I'm so glad to see you writing!


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Congratulations on the beginning of many stories Roo.

Great start, easy to read style, no typo's, good grammar.

Is there a little Italian influence in the family, Margarita is not a common Aussie name?

If so, could be worth exploring the Italian influence on the Outback in those times. I'm sure there's lots of material and tales to work with.

Looking forward to more of your stories.

Thanks Roo.
LoL
Rita

I'm a dyslexic agnostic insomniac.

'Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.'

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Very Enjoyable First Story

Thanks Roo for posting your first story. While I agree with some of the others that you leave us wanting to know more, you also manage to bring the story to completion without it feeling rushed.

Michelle B

Michelle B