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The British Kid Part 4 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad
All Rights Reserved. |
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“So what d’you lot do to relax round here?” Pauline asked as they finished the school day.
“Depends, waddya fancy doin’?” replied Sarah.
“I dunno, what is there to do? I mean do I have to go and find my knitting or my Barbara Cartland book?”
“You knit–hey can you show me?” Sarah’s face lit up.
Definitely the wrong thing to say, thought Pauline to herself. “Where’s Becky, we can’t start until she gets here.”
Just then Becky appeared carrying a bag, “Sorry, I’m late, I brought some refreshments, cookies and muffins and some sodas.”
“Muffins? But we don’t have anything to toast them on.”
“Toast? They’re sponge things, ya don’t toast ‘em–d’ya?” Becky pulled one out of the bag.
“That’s not a muffin, that’s a fairy cake.”
“Well I’m not eatin’ any o’them then,” said Andrew smirkin’.”
Sarah was about to say, that’s not what I’ve heard when she thought better of it. They agreed to differ on what constituted a muffin or not, deciding that in England, they had English muffins while in the US, they had American muffins. The same went for cookies, which Pauline insisted were biscuits–they opted for the same solution–biscuits happened in England and cookies were American.
“Isn’t there something about when in Rome?” mused Sarah pointedly, fed up with having a real girl to compete with and also telling her how to speak her native tongue.
“I beg your pardon?” said Pauline who was trying to eat a double choc cookie without getting crumbs everywhere.
“You know the saying, when in Rome–do as the Roman’s do?”
“What, sic Gloria transit, and all that stuff?” asked Pauline.
“Yeah, if we were actually in Rome, but we’re not, we’re in America,” Sarah fired back.
“Okay ya’all,” said Pauline smirking.
Sarah fumed. “That isn’t what I meant, and you know it. Just ‘cos you’re a natural girl and a Brit, don’t mean you’re better than me.”
Becky blushed and Pauline caught her eye. “I’m sorry, Sarah, I wasn’t meaning to offend you–I just thought it was a bit of a lark, you know, making fun of our differences.”
“No, you we’re makin’ fun of us, Yanks, bein’ little miss superior?”
“She any relative to the Lake-Superiors, they live up Minnesota way,” asked Andrew trying to lighten things up.
“I knew a Mother Superior once,” answered Pauline, “dunno if there was a father about.” She was very nervous about telling the others and distracted herself by trying to be funny–it rarely worked.
“Any way, what are we here for, Beck, you said you had something to tell us?”
Becky who was sitting on the floor, blushed and looked at Pauline. “D’ya wanna do this or shall I?”
Andrew suddenly went pale, “You’re not an item, you two–are you?”
“What?” said Becky looking horrified. “No, you mutton head.”
“Thank goodness for that,” sighed Andrew.
“So what is this about then?” asked Sarah now intrigued, “You’re not pregnant are you?” she looked directly at Pauline.
Pauline coughed and Becky snorted.
“F’ Pete’s sake tell us and get it over with,” said Sarah now getting a little annoyed at being on the outside of this secret and the jokes it seemed to spawn.
“Okay, already. As it’s partly my fault, I’ll tell you.” Becky wriggled, the floor suddenly becoming very hard under her bum. “Pauline is a transgender like you.”
Sarah gasped. She glared at Becky and then at Pauline, both of whom were blushing like street lights. “You told us...”
“I know, I know–I thought it’d be a laugh, ya know–then that retard Kowalski muscled in on the act and it stopped being funny–well until Pauline put him down.”
“Uchiha knows?” asked Sarah.
“Yeah, we did it without tellin’ anyone. I thought it would be a good joke, get some of the boys makin’ fools of themselves.”
“So, wadda we do now?” Sarah asked looking round the room at the others, and noticed Andrew was looking at Pauline very strangely. “Waddya lookin’ at?” she demanded of Andrew.
“Nuthin’, I was tryin’ to figure out how she passed your examination, that’s all.”
“She looked natural, that’s how, I mean she’s got breasts and wide hips for a boy.”
“I have Klinefelters.” Pauline now blushed very red.
“What’s that?” asked Andrew.
“She’s XXY,” said Sarah, who’d read up on all the variations in trying to understand herself.
“Is that like one size beyond extra extra large?” joked Andrew.
“No, you dummy, it means she has an extra chromosome,” she rolled her eyes as she spoke.
“So she’s sorta like a natural girl, they’re XX,” said Becky trying to minimise her deceit of her friends.
Sarah shook her head. “So, you on anythin’, ’mones or that?”
“Me?” Pauline pointed at herself, “No, this is all natural–well as natural as being weird can be.”
“If Kowalski ever finds out you’re a boy–you’re dead meat.” Sarah looked at Pauline with a very serious expression–“I’m not jokin’, he’s a mean SOB.”
“It won’t be the first time I’ve been beaten up, used to happen regularly at one school my dad sent me to.”
“I thought you Brits were all laid back about transgenders and gays an’ thin’s.” Sarah sounded surprised.
“Some of us are, the government are officially but there’s no shortage of arseholes just looking for someone to cream.”
“Cream?” asked Becky.
“Yeah, beat to a pulp.”
“Oh–yeah, pulp–cream, yeah I can see that one.”
“So wadda we do?” asked Sarah.
“I kinda hoped we could keep the joke runnin’,” answered Becky. “If it goes wrong and they find out, you just plead ignorant, Pauline an’ me’ll take the rap.”
“Gee thanks, Becky,” said Pauline smiling to show she was joking.
“This is no laughin’ matter, Pauline, you could get real hurt here if that retard Kowalski finds out.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Pauline fired back.
“He’s still mad at you, there’s a joke doin’ the rounds that they’re gonna play a girl as linebacker on the team they’re playin’ next week.”
“Sorry, you’ve lost me,” Pauline looked bemused.
“The linebacker tries to stop the quarterback, if he catches him, he’ll flatten him.”
“Ah, I get the general idea–but I thought American football was played in suits of armour?”
“They wear body armour but it won’t protect against two hundred pounds of muscle landin’ on top of ya.”
They all watched Pauline as she was obviously counting, her eyes were closed and she was touching the fingers of her right hand against those of her left. “Geez, that’s ninety one kilos, or getting on for fifteen stone.”
“Sounds a bit lighter, that way, does it?” asked Becky.
“No, but it gives me some perspective.”
“How heavy are you?” asked Sarah.
“I’m about forty five kilos.”
“Hundred pounds,” said Becky making the calculation very quickly.
“D’ya need to wear heavy boots if you go out in the wind?” joked Andrew.
“Nah, she’ll just attach herself to a dead weight like you.” Sarah said poker faced and Becky snorted.
“Oh thanks, Sarah–I love ya too.”
“Have you got enough clothes an’ things?” asked Sarah becoming practical again.
“We’ve got her a spare uniform and one or two things from Ellie-Mae, we’ll do some shopping at the weekend; the school’s gonna give her a grant towards some more clothes.”
“Shoppin’ eh, now you’re talkin’ my language,” smiled Sarah.
“I told you, she’d want to help, didn’t I?” Becky said to her protégé.
“Wadd-I do now?” asked Sarah shrugging and smiling at them.
Meanwhile, not a million miles away, two conspirators were making plans. “I decided what I’m gonna do to our English bitch.” Kowalski told his friend Cale.
“Yeah, what?”
“I’m gonna make her gimme a BJ in front of the whole team.”
“Make sure she don’t bite it off.”
“If she tries I’ll knock her teeth out.”
“Ain’t very subtle.”
“Nah, but it’ll send a message to all those fags prancin’ round in skirts, woan’ it.”
“Sure will. How ya gonna get her with the team?”
“Easy, I’m gonna apologise and invite her to come an’ cheer for us.”
“Da Brits don’t do no cheerleadin’, do dey?”
“Doan matter, I’ll be so charmin’ she’ll think she’s freakin’ Cinderella.”
“Hey, I like it.”
“Yeah, so do I, especially the bit about poking her tonsils.” They both roared with laughter and shared the illicit bottle of wine they’d smuggled into the school.
With the group sworn to secrecy, they were getting breakfast when they stopped dead in their tracks, the quarterback and his side kick were coming towards them.
“Oh-oh, sleaze alarm,” said Becky spotting them first. The two boys walked right up to Pauline and stood before her.
“Look about the other night,” said Kowalski.
The whole group felt their blood pressure rising and Pauline felt her buttocks clenching as well. “It’s okay,” she said.
“No it ain’t,” said the quarterback.
Oh shit, thought Pauline and clenched her buttocks even tighter.
“I need to apologise–I was outta order, ’specially as you’re a visitor to our country.” Andrew watched in total amazement, he pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming–nah, if it was dream, Pauline would be whacking Kowalski over the head with a chair–that sort of dream he could really enjoy.
“It’s okay, crossed wires–that sort of thing,” said Pauline sounding frightfully frightfully. She seemed to get even more posh as the conversation went on–it wasn’t conscious–it just happened.
“No, it ain’t okay, I apologise without no reservations.”
“In which case, I accept your apologies unreservedly. Thank you.”
The quarterback then made them all jump as he grabbed her hand and then kissed the back of it. “Look, princess, we need real girls like you in the cheerleaders, show these bimbos what ta do, so how’s about it.”
“I’ve never tried anything like that, I’d be hopeless I expect.”
“These two do it, so I’ll bet you could–go on, I know the school would be proud of ya, ’special if we beat Mt Pleasant.”
“I really don’t think I’d be much good at it.” Pauline blushed and some of the others in the queue for food were encouraging her to try out for the cheer team. In the end the peer pressure told. “Okay, if I can borrow some clothes, I’ll try.”
“Great,” still holding her hand, he kissed it again, “see ya later.” He and Cale went and Andrew muttered, “You’ll need to sterilise that hand now.”
Munching on poached egg on toast, Pauline thought maybe things were looking up and the feud she had with Kowalski was over. Neither of the others thought so and said what they thought.
“Watch him, he’s like a snake in the grass,” offered Sarah.
“I wouldn’t trust him if he came endorsed by the President,” muttered Andrew.
“Do slime balls change their spots,” said Becky mixing metaphors and they all laughed.
“See, she took the bait.” Kowalski preened himself in front of the mirror in the changing rooms.
“Yeah, dumb broad.”
“All these bitches are dumb, but she’s got nice tits–like to see ’em bouncin’ in a cheerleader’s uniform.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Yeah, then I get her to open wide and suck on this,” he pulled down his underpants and waved his weapon about.
“She’s gonna choke on that Zach.”
“Yeah, I kinda hope so.”
“It was silly of me, wasn’t it–to agree to dance for that wretched boy.” Pauline began to rue her agreeing to his persuasion.
“Dancin’?” queried Becky. “Yeah, I suppose it is a bit like dancin’, dancin’ an’ gymnastics. You any good at star jumps?”
“What like this, you mean?” Pauline leapt into the air throwing her arms and legs out stiffly at an angle.
“Yeah, now all you gotta learn is the other sixty five moves and all the chants.”
“Oh sugar, it was silly of me.”
“Dunno, it’s a good workout, here put these on, they should fit,” Becky offered her spare kit to her friend. Then it was two hours hard work in the gym under the watchful eye of Ms Sanderson, who came in specially to train the princess cheer team.
At the end of the two hours, Pauline was on the point of collapse, it was harder work than circuit training, which she’d done once and pulled a muscle. Here Ms Sanderson warmed them up slowly and also warmed them down at the end.
“That was good fer a newbie, yeah, Pauline, we’ll make cheerleader out of you yet.”
Pauline didn’t know if she felt good or bad about that, all she felt was exhausted. She wanted to get back to her room, shower and go to bed and that is what she did while Zach Kowalski clapped his hands with glee.
“Wass that guy say at the end of the A-team? ’S good when a plan comes together. He laughed until his sides ached, revenge was sweet, and on a bimbo like the British fox, it was gonna be double sweet.
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Comments
yeay another chapter ^^ But
yeay another chapter ^^
But it is kinda frustrating to hear all the americans talk so weird, they don't talk like that in the orignal PFH... Though I understand you want to accentuate the difference in the language it's still weird :p
grtz & hugs,
Sarah xxx
American dialect
I agree, I find the phony dialect really distracting. I've never met educated Americans, even in high school, who speak the way these kids do. And, they aren't speaking so poorly in the main Princess for Hire series. I think Ang watched too many episodes of the Beverly Hillbillies. That's like assuming all Brits are like Benny Hill.
American.
American is Not all one accent, not even within the same city at times. I have actually heard people talk similar to what is in the story at times. Keep in mind that some manners of speech can also be deliberate put ons or affectations. Affectations which may be maintained over the short term or the long term or even vary depending on where and to whom they are speaking to.
>i< ..:::
Kowalski's plan
Ho hum, it looks as though we've one idiot here who conforms to the old male stereotype about only thinking with his 'little brain' (the one contained in his built-in hosepipe). While he seems convinced he can get Pauline to, erm, 'service' him in front of the entire team, he also appears to have completely neglected how he's going to 'persuade' her to do it. After all, she won't be the entire cheerleader, presumably they'll all travel in a group, and if she is confronted solo, she'd probably be resourceful enough to attempt an escape. It would be just desserts if his attempt was overheard / caught by a member of staff thus resulting in swift dismissal from the team (regardless of how good he is on the pitch).
Meanwhile, a nice little "Two countries separated by a common language" interlude - cumulating in a discussion on (American) football (the variation on a theme of the game codified at Rugby School), which is a surprisingly dangerous game. When I was at Uni (Abersytwyth - pretty much slap bang in the middle of the West Wales coast), someone in the same hall as me was on the uni's American Football team, and spent a significant part of the year with one arm either in plaster or wrap bandages - there was a rumour the entire team were on first name terms with the doctors at the local hospital...
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Though...
I wonder if that moron realizes what will happen to him if he does sexually assault Pauline >< I hope they put him in jail for life >< Or death penalty, that's always nice to know when those freaks are taken out of the world.
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Bisexual, transsexual, gamer girl, princess, furry that writes horror stories and proud ^^
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
Princess For Hire - The British Kid pt 4
Like the pic you used and waiting for more of the story.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
I like it!
Kowalski is sneaky, but not too bright, really. I worry that Pauline might be a bit too naive, but perhaps I'm just not seeing her true self. She seems fairly intelligent, so I'm thinking that Kowalski's plan won't be a smashing success. I look forward to seeing how things turn out.
I enjoy the differences in our language. Even just in the states, it can be totally different. I was a truck driver going from Maine to Florida then to Texas and on to Oregon. Just as you get used to one dialect...
I love the story, Angh. You bring an interesting perspective to an already interesting tale.
Wren
Caught up
I have only just caught up with chapter four ,and i really like the bit of British culture and humour you are infusing into the story.
Thanks for doing this story Angharad ,looking for the next chapter.
ROO
ROO
Fun
But Pauline is out of her depth a bit. There are reasons why girls travel in packs and it is due to assholes like Kowalski who are a lumen short and a day late.
All is not simple in Princess land. Boys will be boys and this high school is turning out to be pretty conventionally difficult under it all. I went to a high school with no football team. It was heavily an academic high school.
Kim
British Kid
I love the story but each new chapter I have to review my notes to remember where we left off So under comment PLEASE WRITE MORE CHAPTERS SOONER -- HUGS & KISSES RICHIE2
Where is The A-Team
It sounds like Pauline is going to need the A-Team to avoid the football team. Hopefully for our heroine Kawolski takes a big fall (get's sacke).
I always wondered what a biscuit was.
As always,
Dru
As always,
Dru
Beware the Jabberwock
I haven't forgotten this. It was nice to see another chapter.
I'm sure Zach isn't going to get his way (because that would be gross!) so I'm looking forward to see how Pauline turns the tables on him.
Thanks and kudos. Please do continue this.
- Terry
Princess For Hire
I love all your work and this is no exception. Please write more. In fact I wish you would carry on all your stories. Your English inclusions are most enjoyable and make the stories much more realistic. You are a true delight.
Guys like
Zach need to have an Orchiectomy I think to calm them down. After all, who needs a Cave Man anyway?
Great story.
Hugs :}
Vivien
Or slip
a few AAs or hormone pills into his food.
Hey,
I often toast American Muffins!
Maybe I'm just weird.
>i< ..:::
our muffins are small cakes
our muffins are small cakes.often filled with berries. not thin and cut in half and toasted.
Karen
Zack is a total and complete
Zack is a total and complete jerk who believes only he is the person who everyone else should bow to. I am looking forward to his being truly taken down not only a peg or two, but right out of the school for sexual harassment, or sexual assault AND because Pauline is a British subject (Citizen) and is in the US on most likely a diplomatic waiver due to her father being in the RAF and he being in the US by REQUEST of his government and the US government; Zack is really "playing with fire" diplomatically and politically. BIG PROBLEM for him and possibly the school.
I remember when my family was in England (53-56) at school, we had to learn and play the English games, cricket??? Where's the gloves? football?? Where's the pads and helmets?, Rugby?? Again, where's the pads and helmet?? Did actually learn to play Rounders, (played with my sister). We decided fair was fair and tried to teach the English kids our American games of football, baseball, softball and basketball. No takers at the time. Janice Lynn
good
good
Ang, you're making the
Ang, you're making the American boys talk like hillbillies.
And I think it goes "I love it when a plan comes together" says a smiling George Peppard, while smoking a panatella
You are different, but just as good.
Karen