Fade To Black

A girl's reflections as she prepares to end the last chapter.

And so she stood on the edge of the cliff, tears burning her cheeks and blurring her vision. She was empty now … empty of love … empty of fear … empty of hope … empty of the faith that had carried her through the darkness for so long.

She had finally come to the place she’d always known she’d have to face one day. She’d fought, feared, and ran from this place … this day for so long, but now as the tears subsided, a coolness washed over her mind and body. It was like a release before the release she hoped to find at the bottom of the cliff.

No more running, no more hiding, no more waking up to find God had failed once again to grant her a miracle or send an angel to carry her to heaven. Finally she’d found the courage to stop, turn, and face the two things she feared most: reality and aloneness.

As she readied herself to jump she found a knowing smile. Some would say she was a cowardly quitter who’d given up and lost the battle, but they were wrong. In her heart she knew she’d won the life long war, because today she was defeating the enemy by putting a stop to the pain and the madness.

Heaven or hell awaited her. She wasn’t sure which would be her final destination, but she didn’t really care. Of course she had a preference, who wouldn’t … but truth was ... she’d just deal with the afterlife when she got there.

Her eyes focused on the blackness below her but her mind thought back to the world she was about to leave behind. Memories of some very special people came to her … people who had touched her and she had touched them. She was glad those memories were locked safely away in the past, where what she was about to do could not change or destroy them.

Regrets? She really only had one. She really hated to hurt those she loved and left behind. She didn’t want to cause them pain. She only wanted to end her own. Fortunately, she knew that those who truly knew her … knew her pain … and knew why she was here. They might not agree with her choice, but at least they would understand it and respect it. Yes … they would be sad … but life goes on … better people than her have left this world … their hurt would heal soon. Her pain would end now.

She placed her note aside the picture of her family and a thought came to her, “Immortality”. Yes … this body … this life was at an end, but she wasn’t really leaving, because she would be remembered and loved. And as long as you are safe in the hearts of those who love you then you are always with them and you never really die.

It was finally time … no more words … no more tears … no more unanswered prayers … no more pain … no more running … no more thoughts … jump and fade to black.

Note by Holly Hart. This is only a story, written years before Maggie posted it, at a time when she was very down. She did not expect the reaction it got. She is sorry she panicked so many people. Besides comments here, Maggie and I both got a number of private messages here, or emails. Since it was posted, I've spoken to her and we gave each other real world hugs, She is fine and happy now. HHH