A story about two boys on a drug fueled adventure, pretty much.

You may also feel like you're high while reading this....

(DON'T do drugs, and DON'T read this if you're under 18)

---

Friday Night:

“Dude.... I am.... so high right now, it's.... wow.... look at my pubes.... they're so fluffy.”

“Ummmm.... dude. We haven't even smoked nothing yet....”

“I.... oh....”

“Dude. If you're gay you can just tell me, it's cool!”

“Just, shut up! And stop hogging the spliffy!”

“All yours man.”

---

1 hour later....

“Dude.... I am.... so high right now, it's....”

“Dude! If you say one thing about your pubes I.... hey, wow! Those are fluffy....”

Yep. That's Chuck and Vic. Every university has them, the two potheads who are obviously gay for eachother and nearly always high.
They're pretty much the laughing stock of the whole uni, but not in a bad way as such, they just always got into crazy adventures after puffing the smoke.
So for them, tonight was just like any other friday night. And before to long, they came across the stoner's natural nemesis....

The Munchies.

“Dude, I am soooo hungry.”

“Chuck you're always hungry.” Vic sighed. Chuck was severely overweight, and he was trying to get his buddy to stop eating so much.

“Yes but, looking at my pubes has made me want spaghetti soooooo bad.”

“That's disturbing.... Ok, fine, we'll go get some snacks, but you have to promise me you'll start dieting tomorrow.”

“Promise!” Chuck lied.

“And you've got to promise me you won't bring any puff, we can't be caught in possession again remember?”

“Promise!” Chuck lied.

“And you have to promise me there'll be no wacky adventures!?”

Chuck hesitated, “I.... promise.”

Chuck lied.

---

“Ok, so, McDonalds?” asked Vic, who was driving the pair's run-down camper van.

“Nah...” Chuck pondered “I feel like hospital food.”

Vic turned to his friend, “Ummmm.... hospital food?”

“Yessum.”

“Hmmmm I don't know Chuck, this sounds like a possible wacky adventure to me....”

“Argh come on man! Hospital's have the best food!”

“What!? No! No they don't!” Vic was laughing to himself.

“Dude.... they have pudding.”

Vic's eyes widened.

Chuck nodded, his sweaty chins wobbling and jiggling.

“TO THE HOSPITAL!” yelled Vic, and they where off.

---

“Dude...” Chuck pulled at Vic's shirt, “Before we go in, how about a shroom?” he grinned.

“Chuck! I told you not to bring any!” exclaimed Vic.

“Yeah.... you tell me a lot of things....” Chuck then started to ram dozens of them into his fat gob.

“Ah, screw it! Gimme those!”

---

3 hours later....

After an extended fit of giggles, the pair entered the hospital.

“Ok, where would they have pudding?” Chuck was darting all around the reception area.

“Oh! I know, I know!” cried Vic.

“Where!? Tell me!”

“We just have to go to some patients room, and blag their pudding!”

“You my good sir....” Chuck began to get oddly tearful, “.... are a genius.” He hugged his friend before galloping off down the hallway.

---

“Ok, this guy looks like he's in a coma, and see that — on his lap.... PUDDING!” Chuck was starting to drule.

“I wonder why he has pudding?” pondered Vic.

“Well.... if you ever entered a coma, wouldn't you like a pudding on your lap?”

“Touché....”

“Ok, you go get the pudding, and i'll stay here and keep watch.” proposed Chuck.

“Sounds good to me!” and with that, Vic stumbled into the room.

---

“Hey little fella....” Vic waved at the comatosed boy, “are you gonna eat that?”

No response.

“That's.... that's just rude, you don't deserve pudding! YOINK!” Vic grabbed the frozen treat and frolicked out of the room.

“Hey Chuck! I got it!” Vic waved the pudding around to no-one in particular, “Hey, where'd he go?”

---

4 hours later....

Vic felt a hand against his shoulder. He looked up to find a bearded doctor looking down upon him.

“You are Vic, right?”

“Yessum....”

“Well, your friend's operation was a complete success!”

“Oper....ation?”

“DUUUUDE!” Vic could hear Chuck's cry from the other side of the hallway.
But when he turned around, he didn't see the wobbling chunk of lard he expected.

“DUDE! I GOT LYPOSUCTION!” Chuck was screaming waving his arms around.

“Woah! Dude, you're so thin! That's amazing!”

“I know right?” grinned Chuck.

“Doctor, doctor! Can I have a cool operation too!?”

“I don't think I can do that buddy....” said the edgy doctor.

“Oh. I see how it is.... Chuck, pay the man!”

Chuck slipped a 10p coin into the Doctor's pocket.

“How about now?” Vic crossed his arms looking chuffed.

The doctor raised an eyebrow, “Very well, come with me.”

“YES!” Vic clapped his hands wildly and pranced after the doctor.

---

“Ok, here's the deal, I get to choose the operation you get.”

“Well I don't know....” Vic said as he was undressing on the operating table.

“JUST DO IT!” Chuck yelled, whilst banging on the glass outside the room.

“Ah screw it, let's do this ting!” yelled Vic.

---

7 hours later....

The doctor put a hand on Chuck's shoulder, “The operation was a complete success.”

“Awesome! What was the operation?”

The doctor moved over to one side of the hallway, “Chuck, let me introduce you to.... Vicky!”

Chuck couldn't believe his red, pot-fueled eyes, strutting down the hallway in red stilettos and a matching boob tube came a hot blonde, the sort of woman every teenage boy fantasises about; big breasts, pendulum hips, long legs....
She grabbed the doctor by his tie and put her tongue deep into his throat before flaunting over to Chuck.

“Wow....” Chuck was gob-smacked “You got hot Vic!”

---

The new Chuck and Vicky found themselves walking around the red light district.

“I'm not sure I should be here, Chuck.” said an anxious Vicky.

“Why not gorgeous? A woman of your nature belongs somewhere like here.” Chuck winked.

“Please Chuck, take me anywhere else but here, i'm getting some funny looks....”

“Hmmmm.... only if you ask me in a sexy voice.”

Vicky sighed, “Pwease Chucky, take me some place where we can.... be alone.” she whispered into his ear.

Chuck whimpered, “I....I....I.... BONER ALERT!”

---

12 hours later....

“Ok, it's been half a day, can I open my eyes yet?”

“Not yet.... ok, now!”

Vicky opened her eyes, “Oh my god! Where are we? Are we in Vegas? What am I.... Am I wearing a wedding dress!?”

Chuck dragged her into a glowing pink chapel before she could ask any more questions.

---

“Do you, Chuck Dillon take Victoria Cummings to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“Hell yeah I do!”

“And do you, Victoria Cummings take Chuck Dillion to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

She looked over at Chuck and shrugged, “Sure.... why not?”

“You may now kiss the bride, and shit.....”

---

Monday Morning:

Chuck let out a massive yawn; “Urrrrgh, morning Vic!”

“Morning Chuck, don't go having to much cereal, you'll get fatter! If that's even possible....”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“What a weekend we had....” Vic said holding a wet flannel to his head.

“Sure was, thank fuck that Doctor could reverse everything we did!”

“Yes, but at what price!?”

“Bout 20p” Chuck said with a mouth full of Frosty Flakes.

Vic was now in a rush to get to uni, “Cool! So, i'll seeya next Friday then?”

“You know it buddy!”

---

NOW BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS STORY BEING TOTALLY UNBELIEVEABLE, THAT'S KIND OF THE IDEA, DEAL WITH IT!

AND IF IT SUCKS, THAT'S SIMPLY BECAUSE THERE'S A 50/50 CHANCE I MAY OR MAY NOT BE HIGH RIGHT NOW.

(BY THE WAY, ISN'T IT A MASSIVE COINCIDENCE THAT I WAS WRITING A STORY LIKE THIS WHEN AMY WINEHOUSE PASSED AWAY?)

R.I.P. Amy.
Such a talented woman, you will be missed.

And please, please, PLEASE don't do drugs. I wrote this story so you can experience being high without actually getting high!