CHAPTER 26
It wasn’t a bad Summer, all told. There was an awful lot of adjustment to fit in and fit ourselves to, and I have to admit I did miss Tabby. She had been my confidante, my only friend, for as long as it took me to find out that the last wasn’t true and never had been. I said goodbye to her properly, and packed a few outfits for her in her new home with the girls.

“Who made her clothes, Annie?”

“I did, Shan. It was one thing I could do to be myself, aye, make things. I wanted to make some for me, but, well, it never sort of happened, aye?”

“Could you teach me how?”

“Course, love. But I only give lessons at home, so you’ll have to come up here more often”

Merry gave her a one-armed hug. “That’s two of us who will have to come here more than we thought we would, isn’t it? Tell you what, why don’t we see about doing some exploring together, if your Mams agree?”

All three girls were lycra-clad, ready for the ride home on solo and tandem, so I had to add the necessary instruction.

“Shan, Miriam here doesn’t do skin-tight stuff, aye, so you will have to make sure you bring some ordinary clothes. Unless you intend to go back with more clothes than you arrive in; I think Merry’s idea of ‘explore’ might just mean London”

Kate laughed. “And don’t get your hopes up, girl; I rather think she doesn’t have quite the same taste in clothes or shoes as you do! Now, Annie, I know how much Tabitha means to you, so are you sure she will be happy in our little house?”

“She will be with three of my very best friends, so she will be happy indeed. Now, how are we going to get you up here without a Mum?”

There was a little flicker there, the nerves back, and then the fight that I knew was in her, the spirit that we had seen in the court, came out to play.

“There’s trains, innit? Somebody meet me at the station, an’, yeah, I got no worries, lahk”

I looked across at Merry. “So, if Merry were here, and you got off the train at Gatwick, and then got back on with Merry to London, you’d be OK?”

A lift of the shoulders, a smile. “Yeah, I’ll be fine, lahk. Look…”

It was Darren all over again, as she forced her speech into a different pattern.

“Look, I have to try and get me…myself a better life, be real person, yeah? Merry, she talk…talks all precise, an’ I know, I know you know I ain’t thick, lahk, but I know what I sound like, yeah? An’ people, they hear that, and they think, chav, they think slag, an’…and I don’ want that. I spend time with clever people, I learn to talk better, yeah?”

I looked at her, and she had a grin hiding inside.

“Shan, so the only reason you hang around with us is for elocution lessons, aye?”

“Yeah…that an’ goin’ up town and getting’ cool stuff!”

Ginny looked at Kate, then back to me, and sniffed. “This is a conspiracy, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“All a plot, to take our precious little girl away and make her Welsh. I tell you, one ‘look you!’ or ‘aye’, and the doll gets it!”

I dropped my jaw in mock horror. “Will it be OK to feed her leeks?”

“Only if baby ones, done in a cheese sauce. And absolutely NO male voice choirs!”

I looked at the red lunatic. “Aye, I can just see that, lurking choirs, hiding behind litter bins on Oxford Street, waiting to leap out at unsuspecting girls, aye”

“Yeah, zombie ones, you know, clutching rotted sheet music, wanting to eat your brains, yeah…”

Kate coughed. “I think the medication is wearing off. Dearest, don’t you think sometimes you take an idea a bit too far?”

“Yebbut, zombie choirs, we had zombie strippers, and stuff, and…”

I looked at Shan, as she fought the giggles. “Shan, you know what Mrs Armitage said, you don’t have to stay with them if they scare you”

Shan laughed, and it was a genuine one, and it was possibly the most natural mood I had ever seen seize her.

“Yeah? Who’d be normal, and miss all the fun? I love my mums, so they better never change, yeah?”

I definitely saw Kate’s eyes moisten, and then they were gone, Eric surfacing just in time to wave them goodbye. Merry cast a critical eye over him.

“See what fornication does? You have lost half of the day”

He pointed to me. “Doesn’t seem to have done her any harm, does it?”

That was when we all lost it at once, and I was delighted by Merry’s sudden openness. I had seen her drunk, I had seen her tender, but now, so clearly, it was joy. The ring sparkled on her finger, matching the twinkle in her eye, and I had my favourite cousin back with me.

We decided to have a sort of late breakfast/early lunch thing, and as I was sorting the bacon sandwiches, Merry made a pot of tea.

“Annie, love, can I be rude?”

“You never are, Merry”

“Aye, but I was wondering…what size have you made it to?”

“Why?”

“You are eating bacon, and bread, and you were drinking alcohol last night. You have a wedding to be ready for”

Eric came in as she passed comment.

“Not important, Merry, I love her no matter how fat she is!”

“Sod that you are, Johnson!”

“No, love. If you want to slim down to make yourself feel good, you go ahead. Just remember one thing: I love you, whatever, whenever, however, yes? Do not feel you have to change anything for me, end of. Just be you”

I drew a breath to keep the tears back, as yet again he showed what a perfect man had come my way, and that thought made me giggle and wince at the same time.

“For the benefit of the jury, it all depends on what label I am wearing, but it is between twelve and fourteen. Which reminds me…Merry, how long did you want to stay?”

She blushed deep red. ”That is something I meant to ask… I have two weeks holiday now, I had sort of planned to go across to France and Belgium, but, well, things became rather unplanned, in a wonderful way, you see, and…”

“Settled then, if Eric agrees. You want to see Simon, I want company at the shops. Now that I am almost there, aye?”

She awoke from her blush like a salmon up a weir. “Would that be for the choosing of a particular dress, my dear?”

I grinned. “Yes indeed, my darling cuz, yes indeed. And I tell you what, there are some rather nice shops down on the coast”

“And you need a best friend to help?”

“Well, no good taking Ginny, aye, she’d spend all day on the machines, and Kate will be doing healing angel stuff, so it will just have to be Shan!”

Merry laughed, as Eric interjected “And not Sally, Sarah, Steph, Naomi, Polly, Kirsty?”

“I will probably run it past them, but, hey, this is two birds, one stone, aye? Or rather three birds. Let Chantelle have the space to be herself, and do it with friends. And….”

He gave me a Paddington. “Admit it, woman. You are just about there, so you feel you can justify Cake, am I right? Look, Merry, we are a partnership, but as the token male–shut up laughing, love---it would be a pleasure to have you here as long as you want. Phone’s in the corner”

“Phone?”

“Oh come on, Merry, weren’t you going to tell him you are staying? Annie, love, let’s go and have a look at how the tea is brewing”

Merry stayed the week, and it was a delight. Simon spent a considerable part of that time with her, and we had a couple of wonderful evening meals, where I got the chance to enjoy watching the life dance in her eyes. We also got our trip to Brighton. That was when Merry astonished me.

Shan had been waiting at the barrier at Brighton station, the mad one beside her, dressed as maturely as I had ever seen her. A neat knee-length navy skirt was topped by a crisp white blouse, and flat shoes finished the look. We started with a quick visit to the music and video store, where we combed the bargain racks for cheap DVDs, and then trawled through the music. As Merry worked her way from end to end of the classical, I found Shan in the folk section.

“I don’t know none of these, Annie, but she looks pretty. You should have hair like hers, yeah?”

It was a woman called Loreena McKennitt, and the sleeve notes sounded interesting. What struck me was the completely pre-Raphaelite look to her, all flowing gown and abundant hair, and I realised that it could well be tied in with the girliness we had both had beaten out of us in different ways.

“What do you like about it, Shan?”

“Well, she look feminine, yeah? And the music, it’s all mixed up, but there a poem there I know, we did it at school. Highwayman, it made me cry…”

Merry was looking over our shoulders. “Harp, yes? Vanny can tell you about those, Shan. Now, what is it about the poem that you like?”

“Iss like a film, a real story, yeah? Not just pretty words. And it a good story, too, sept where he get shot: and they shot him down on the highway, down like a dog on the highway, and he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat”

I looked at her as she recited, and there was passion, real feeling in the words.

“Shan…”

Merry interrupted. “Chantelle, that was beautiful. I think, I think Annie was going to suggest that you have a true romantic’s soul. Is that not true, cuz?”

No, I was going to say how soppy she was, but thank you Merry. “Shall we see if you can have a listen, Shan?”

“Please!”

And that was her first ever personally chosen piece of music, which Merry bought her as a gift. The voice was a little operatic for me, but the playing had depth, and passion, and I could see myself exploring it further. The hair, though, was just a bit over the top. I liked what hair I had, now, and such a mane would have given me real problems at work.

We left the shop, in the end, with the McKennitt, a new Capercaillie album and a collection of Mahler songs for Merry. Oh yes; we looked at some dresses, too.