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I looked at the god, and yes he was very handsome and powerful looking, and all that, then glanced at Evangaline. She only shrugged in response to that so I gathered I was kind of on my own for at least a while.

“Hello.” I answered him and shook myself mentally. “So if you don't mind me asking, why the — umm — invitation without giving us time to make ourselves pretty and all that?”

Jupiter smirked as he ogled us and then grinned. “I find these impromptu meetings to be much more illuminating, dear girl. Besides, I wanted to meet you. We have things to discuss, you and I.”

“What? Like your minions in the world trying to kill me?” I questioned then mentally kicked myself. One doesn't face a major league god and be a smart ass. Okay, so I did it with Llolth, but that was different, she was Mom, after all.

He laughed shook his head and gestured for us to follow him. “Ahh, the impetuosity of youth. But, yes, now that you mention that it is something I want to discuss with you.”

“Call them off and I might forgive you for trying to kill me, Uncle.” I shot back and again wanted to literally kick myself. If I could have pinned my tongue to the roof of my mouth just then I'd have done it.

“You are nothing but a little godling, a goddess in training, girl.” He glowered at me for a moment then smiled again. “It might just benefit you to listen to what I have to say here.”

“I'm all ears.” I answered while giving an internal sigh. Why, why couldn't I just be polite, demure, and all that other girl stuff at times like this? Although I had to admit that polite and demure weren't descriptions that fit me all that well at the best of times.

“Good.” Jupiter answered as he led us to a chamber that had a table that looked like it was groaning under the weight to the food and drink it had been burdened with. “Come, sit and eat with me. We can discuss things as we do that. I find that pleasures of the flesh do assist with affairs of the mind at times. And having two such lovely nieces vist is an occasion for some little celebration, after all.”

I recalled that Jupiter, or Zeus as the Greeks named him, was a randy old SOB and made a mental note to be very careful around him for another reason there. I had no desire to be pregnant from the head guy in the Greek and Roman pantheons. I'd heard his wife was a really jealous bi -- lady, when things like that happened. And being a mother was really low on my to do list. I mean like in the negative numbers kind of thing. And for some reason I was pretty sure that my 'mental contraceptive' wouldn't work all that well with someone like him.

“A celebration?” I asked as ingeniously as I could manage. “Why?”

“It isn't every day a new goddess ascends, my dear.” Jupiter, Zeus, whatever you wanted to call the guy, answered with a smile, then favored Vangie with a smile that might have been winning if both of us didn't know how much of a lech the guy was. “And a demi goddess/god to rival Janus in some ways.”

“You flatter me, my lord.” Vangie smoothly responded. “But I would never presume to rival Janus.”

“Wise child.” He nodded, then waved to the spread on the table. “Eat freely and without obligation, ladies. We have much to discuss, but such things are better done on a full stomach, don't you agree?”

“If it involves your minions and worshipers not trying to kill me, I can go with that.” I nodded as I reached for a really weird looking, but inviting purple fruit that looked like a cross between a pear and an overgrown cherry.

I nearly had an orgasm once I'd bitten into it, the flavor was like nothing I'd ever heard of, or imagined. To use a predictable phrase here, it was heavenly.

“I see you like my paradise fruit, Dahlia.” He smiled and was trying to do something else. I was half addled by the overpowering flavor and sensations on my tongue and palate, but I still saw what he was trying to do. The old lech.

“Oh, yeah.” I sighed and batted my eyes at him. “But maybe this one should be called — Passion Fruit?”

“Ahh, my deception is revealed.” He grinned and started to move towards me. “But it has affected you, hasn't it?”

“Well, yeah.” I nodded then held up a hand, palm out and shook my head. “But not that much. I'm not going to let my Uncle have his way with me. How icky is that idea, anyway? So get that out of your mind, please, right now.”

He shrugged as I carefully set the fruit back on the golden plate in front of me and his expression held both disappointment and some respect.

“You are your mother's daughter it would seem.” He actually chuckled. “She didn't fall for that one, either. But she was — less polite about things.”

“That would be mom.” I nodded and couldn't suppress a grin of my own. “Actually, I'm kind of surprised I was so — polite about it.”

“You aren't yet used to people groveling when you so much as frown.” Jupiter shrugged. “And you were mortal not so long ago, or at least thought you were.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” I muttered, then looked back at him. “Okay, so what exactly is it you want to talk about here, Uncle?”

“To business already.” He shook his head. “The impatience of youth, I suppose. But all right, let us get to it.

“You both could learn a lot from me.” He went on, giving us both a look that was so serious it could have seared a mortal's soul into shis-kebab. I use that analogy because his stare was like a skewer.

“I don't deny that.” I nodded, not feeling good at all about where this was headed but having no idea of how to avoid it. At least avoid it gracefully, which for me was kind of hard at the best of times.

“Agree to become my handmaidens and I will give you the world, the stars, the universe for playthings.” He went on.

Whoa. Pretentious much? Egocentric? Bug nuts crazy? Well, he was a god, and a powerful one. But...

All of a sudden I just knew how to respond to that one. Being a goddess, even a nascent one, does have it's perks, I have to admit. Even if grudgingly.

“But, Uncle,” I sweetly answered, “we aren't of your pantheon.”

“Accept my offer and you will be.” He answered not aware of the danger signal my being sweet and nice actually was.

“Won't that really piss off Mother, and Father, and their respective pantheons?” I asked just as sweetly and saw Vangie wince.

“If it is your own choice, there is very little your mother or father could do about it.”

“Point taken.” I nodded, ignoring Vangie's frantic kicks under the table. “But I honestly think that honored as we are, and I'm sure I speak for my sister too...”

Another, really hard kick that I returned while still sweetly smiling as I finished my answer. “I do think we will respectfully decline your generous and kind offer, Uncle.”

“YOU DARE REFUSE ME?!!!” He roared and grew to gigantic proportions. “I COULD OBLITERATE YOU WITH A THOUGHT, GODLING!”

“Probably.” I nodded and saw Vangie looking more than a little faint. “But then there is the simple fact that would initiate a real blood feud, or even war, between your pantheon and two others. Do you really want that right now?

I mean, I'm not sure, but I do think both the the Elven and Celtic pantheons are pretty powerful, aren't they? I would really rather avoid that kind of mess here if at all possible. Without becoming your servant, that is.”

“YOU NOW DISREPECT ME?”

“Oh, never that, Uncle.” I did my best to assure him then completely blew that one. “By the way, the sparkly little lightning running through your hair is pretty cool, and those lightning bolts in your eyes are awesome, but don't you think the thunderstorm over your head is just a little over the top?”

Vangie was hiding under the table by then.

He was gathering his power, enraged beyond reason, and I had one of those 'oh shit!' moments before muttering. “Mom, Dad, if you really are watching over me and Vangie, now would, you know, be a pretty good time to get us out of here?”

“You know how to leave, dear child.”

Lolth's voice in my head came as a pleasant surprise, and so did the knowledge I had about beating feet, or the equivalent of that in this situation. I grabbed Vangie's hand and just moved us. But not before a humongous lightning bolt was sizzling and crackling towards us.

We were back in the citadel. Unharmed, but with bad cases of static cling. A really bad case of that.

I let out a sigh and fell back onto a couch, Vangie just went to the floor. Good thing those were covered in nice thick, soft carpet or she might have hurt herself.

“You are INSANE!” She managed to get out once she'd managed to raise her head. But there was something like awe in her expression too. Besides the anger. “You defied Zeus, Jupiter, in his own home!”

“Yeah.” I agreed, still working on getting it enough together to have the shakes that I knew were gleefully waiting in the wings to pounce on me. “And other people think they have problems with their families.”

“Why, I ask,” Vangie moaned. “Is my newest sister destined to become the patron of insanity and inducing anger in everyone she meets?”

“I don't make everyone I run across angry.” I defended myself. “At least not all the time.”

“You come pretty close to that, sister of mine.” She sighed, then almost dived for the wine on a nearby table.

“Look at it this way.” I was trying to be encouraging. “He isn't mad at you.”

“For which I am duly grateful.” Vangie answered with a little smirk. “But I will admit our last encounter will make a very amusing story in the future. Just not at the moment, though.”

“Okay, so I'm socially inept off and on.” I shot back.

“Socially inept, she says.” Vangie rolled her eyes. “You. Just. Pissed. Off. A. MAJOR. GOD!!!”

“Never said I was perfect.” I muttered.

She almost choked on her wine after I said that, then dissolved into laughter.

“You're not going hysterical on me here are you?”

“This situation does not call for hysteria.” She choked out, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Full blown panic, maybe, but not hysteria, and I can't — I just can't — muster panic right now.”

“Glad I could cheer you up.” I groused. Then started laughing, too.

We were definitely a pair, my half-sister and I. What kind of pair we were, I had no idea. But things tend to get kind of complicated around me way to often.

“Dahlia, come to me.” Llotlh's voice entered the conversation.

“Here we go again.” I sighed, then added as Vangie gave me a curious look. “Mama calls. I'm probably going to get a good scolding here.”

“A spanking might be better.” My sister chuckled. “Go on, you don't want to make a major goddess angry with you right now do you? On top of what you've already done today?”

“Good point.” I admitted with a wince then answered the call. “Coming, Mother.”

Llolth was laughing when I got there.

“You wished to see me?” I asked just to interrupt her.

“Oh, that is rich!” She was still chuckling. “The patron of insanity and making people angry...”

“You're not mad at me?”

“Of course not, dear daughter.” She was still chuckling, but managed to answer. “You did quite well with my half-brother. He tried that Paradise Fruit thing on me once, too. I offered to do something very nasty to him for that one. So you were fairly nice about it given that.”

“Oh.” I grimaced. “Me, being nice. Imagine that.”

“Relatively nice.” She countered with another fit of giggles. Do you have any idea of how disconcerting it is to hear a much dreaded, powerful goddess giggle?

“Can I quit this job?” I asked.

“No child.” Llolth shook her head and gave me a serious look. “It is, as your former people say, in the genes. Your father and I are both rather major gods. Therefore, you are a goddess.”

“Of WHAT?” I asked, okay, maybe shouted. Just a little bit.

“Of whatever niche you find, dear.” She responded with a shrug while the spiders swarmed to comfort me with with eight legged hugs, and caresses. “If you really have to be goddess of insanity, then that is what you will do. But I truly think that you are more balance than anything else.”

“Balance?”

“Balance.” She nodded. “You are pulling in disparate alignments, good, evil, indifferent, and those are slowly forming into a coherent whole by worshiping you.”

“I'm not being worshiped!”

“No?” Llolth smirked. “Do you not feel a certain invigoration lately? Don't you feel stronger, more settled, more confident?”

“Well, yeah...” I nodded carefully. “I just thought I was getting used to the madhouse of a world I got pulled into.”

“You have priestesses already.” She told me. “The ones you call your minions, several born Dhro'aaa, and your lover is your high priest. And you do have worshipers besides those, daughter. You have made quite an impression on everyone recently with your exploits. That is why my Half-brother tried to seduce you into his fold. You have the potential for vast power, daughter. And are already exercising some of that, young and inexperienced as you are.

“Your uncle fears you.”

“And I might point out,” I grumbled, “is having his followers trying to kill me. At some very inconvenient times, too.”

“No mortal can kill a god, or goddess without aid that your attackers do not possess.” Llolth answered simply. “Those are simply an annoyance that Zeus is throwing in to distract you.”

“Oh, great.” I grumbled. “But that doesn't keep other people I care from harm, does it?”

“No, that is up to you.” She told me. “It is your duty to protect those who serve you, daughter.

“I think I'm getting a headache.”

“Part and parcel of the job.” She answered with a smirk. “You should try being an evil goddess. That, I assure you, isn't easy.”

You know? I didn't have an argument for that one. Go figure.

“So I'm a goddess whether I want to be or not.” I sighed. “I don't even get a retirement plan with the job.”

“When one of us retires, we die, dear.”

“Oh, now that's information I really needed to have.”

“Yes you do.” She moved up and hugged me. “Daughter, you live on what your worshipers give you now. You need that as much as you needed food and drink before.”

“Great, just great.” I grumbled. “No quitting, no retirement plan, and I have to take care of everyone who so much as prays to me!”

“Prioritize.” She advised with a wink. “You can ignore the trivial requests, those usually work themselves out. Find the really important petitions and answer them. Ignore the rest if you like. If I answered every petition I get, I'd never get anything important done.”

If I could have reached a wall, or even a heavy piece of furniture, I'd have been banging my head on it. Mom's pets wouldn't let me do that. Grrrrr.

“So now what do I do?”

“You have good instincts, daughter. Use them.”

“Oh, that's a lot of help.” I snarked. “My instincts got one of the most powerful gods in creation in a rage — which was, by the way, pointed at me.”

“You survived, didn't you?”

“Well, yeah.” I admitted.

“My point exactly.” She smugly answered.

“I think I need to go take a nap now.” I weakly responded.

Llolth, the dreaded evil goddess of the Dhro'aaa, hugged me and kissed my forehead. “Go rest, beloved daughter. You will come to accept all this soon enough. I expected no less than argument from you right now. I will be watching over you for awhile yet, but in time, you will not need that.”

I hugged her back, and kissed her cheek, then had to stroke and kiss her spiders because they felt left out. Once that was over with, I nodded. “Okay, I'll do my best, Mother.”

“You always do, love.” She smiled.

“Okay, talk with you later.” I managed a smile and went home.

Sheesh. I have a job no sane person would want. And I can't quit because people are already praying to me — which means I have a responsibility to them. Can you say? I'm sooo screwed?