Synopsis: After Andrew is released from the hospital, Janice takes him home and helps him become Jessica for the first time. Now that Jessica is finally free she intends to make Andrew a distant memory, and with the help of her friends she intends to build the life that she has always dreamed of having.

Chapter Eleven

 

 

Anthony Tanner had just about finished work for the day when his phone rang. Being after 4 pm, his secretary had already finished, so he took the call himself.

  

“Hello, Anthony Tanner speaking.”

 

  “Hi Anthony, its Bill. I’ve been on the phone with Children’s Services, and you and Janice have been given temporary guardianship over Andrew Roberts. Janice already knows, and has taken him home from the hospital. All the paperwork should be ready early Monday morning.”

 

“Thanks Bill, but how did you manage to get it through this fast?”

 

“Well I can’t take all the credit for that, it turns out that Dr. Masters has been talking to Children’s Services on your behalf and has convinced them that Janice and you are the best prepared to take care of Andrew. Due to his medical issues and the fact that your wife is a licensed psychiatrist, the judge didn’t contest the placement. He has also extended the court order to prevent Andrew’s parents from contact with anyone in your family. “

 

“Thanks for taking care of everything, Bill.   Give my best to Carol for me.”

 

“Your welcome, Anthony, take care!” Bill said as he ended the call.

 

After Anthony finished, he looked around his office. He headed downstairs to his car to make the drive home. He was glad Bill had told him Janice had already taken Andrew home. He had never expected to find that the process had already been started while Andrew was still in the hospital.

 

By the time that Anthony made it home he was starving and hoped that Janice had supper ready. when he walked through the door, it was like a mad house of giggling girls. He saw that Megan had a couple of friends over. He knew Jennifer well; she was like part of the family.   This new girl looked somewhat familiar, but he couldn’t place where he seen her before. He thought she was pretty, though, and would probably end up breaking some hearts.

 

When he looked around, he didn’t see Andrew. “Where is Andrew, Megan?”

 

It was at that moment everyone started laughing, except the new girl. The pretty stranger just looked at him and smiled. “Mr. Tanner I go by Jessica now.”

 

Nothing had prepared him for this, what he was looking at was not what he was expecting to see.   He expected to see a boy pretending to be a girl. The vision before him was anything but that! What he saw was a girl; there was no sign of the boy that he had known.

 

“Wow Jessica, if I didn’t see it with my own eyes I wouldn’t believe it,”Anthony said, surprised. “Girls you’re going to need to have a talk to her about boys soon! Something tells me it won’t be long before they start coming around.”

 

“Stop it Mr. Tanner”, I said blushing.

 

“Jessica, Daddy’s right, it won’t be long before someone makes a move on you.” Megan said with a big smile on her face.

 

“Yeah, looking like you do, it’s only a matter of time!” Jennifer said with a smile.

  

It was at that point that Janice came into the room. She had been listening to everything from the comfort of the kitchen.

 

”Alright girls, I think Jessica has enough to worry about right now. Boys can wait, andAnthony, stop encouraging them.”Janice said, smiling as she took a seat on the couch.

 

 

[-][+][-]

 

 

As I sat at the table the one thing that I noticed was how lively the atmosphere was. Everyone was talking and enjoying each others company. It was nothing like what I was used to at home. There, nobody really talked to one another, it was like, eat as fast as you can and move on to the next thing. Here, everyone was talking about their day, even Jennifer was still here and it seemed normal, like she was more a member of the family then a friend.

 

I would never invite anyone into my home; there were just too many secrets there. I would never have known how my family would act towards me having a guest over. Dad didn’t really care for the friends that I had because most of my friends were girls. Even if they had been boys, I still think he would have found a reason to complain. There was just no winning with him.

 

But here, everything was calm and when I looked around the room, that tension that I used to feel all the time was gone. It’s strange the things that you can get used to when you have no choice in the matter. Here, we were all sitting at the table, enjoying a meal together as a family. I loved every minute of it.

 

 

Chapter 12

 

 

Jennifer gone home, and we were sitting around relaxing. I felt comfortable in with the Tanners, but I still had this sinking feeling deep inside my stomach. When I looked around I saw a family that seemed to support one another, and even invited someone as messed up as me to live with them.

 

Until recently, I had believed that behind closed doors all parents were pretty much the same. As I watched Anthony with Megan, I could see that there was a special bond between them that I had never really experienced, and would have given anything to know what that felt like. Deep down, I knew that a relationship like that with my parents was impossible. I couldn’t take watching them any longer and headed over to my room and closed the door behind me, I just wanted to be alone.

 

“What’s wrong with Jessica?” asked Megan to her father.

 

“I think its going to take her some time to adjust, honey, She’s been through a lotand I think she’s feeling overwhelmed,” Anthony said with a frown.

 

“Should I go and check on her daddy?”

 

“Just give her some space Megan. When she’s ready, she’ll come out on her own.”

 

“I’m just worried about her Daddy; she’s been through so much.”

 

“I know honey, but we can only do so much for her, she needs to find her own way and I’m afraid that’s going to take some time.”

 

 

[-][+][-]

 

 

I sat in my room doing nothing. I just felt so miserable inside, and the more I thought about things, the angrier I felt towards my family. Part of me just wanted to confront my parents and tell them how I felt, but what was the use? They couldn’t see past their own point of view.   I walked over to the phone and dialed Amy’s number. If anyone understood how I was feeling, she would.   The phone rang through a few times then I heard her voice on the other end.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Amy, it’s me, Jessica. Can we talk?”

 

“Sure Jessica, is anything wrong?”

 

“No Amy, it’s been great, Janice even helped me dressed up today. It’s been wonderful.”

 

“Why do I feel a ‘but’ coming, Jessica?”, asked Amy

 

“It just doesn’t feel right, Amy, I feel like any minute now, the floor is going to open up and swallow me.”

 

Amy started laughing, “Honey it’s just your first day and you are with a real family that cares for one another. You’re just not used to it yet. You need to give it some time and try to enjoy yourself. Stop analyzing everything.”

 

I thought about what Amy was saying, and I guess she was right. I just needed to relax and stop worrying.

 

“Amy, maybe you’re right, it’s just that I have seen how everyone is here,” Amy heard the sadness in the little girl’s voice. “I guess it pisses me off that I couldn’t have that same feeling with my family. “

 

“I know honey, for years I wished my mom and dad would accept me, but it never happened. From what I have seen and heard about your family, honey, you are better off without them.   The only thing you will find hanging on to them Jessica is pain.”

 

“Thanks Amy, I needed someone to kick me when I was down.” Jessica said, sarcastically.

 

No, honey, you needed a kick in the butt to help you remember that you are in a better place.” Amy said laughing. “I have tomorrow off Jessica; want to take in a movie, my treat?”

 

“Sounds like fun Amy, but I will have to check with Janice. What time do you have in mind?”

 

“I will pick you up around 6 pm, we can grab a bite to eat then catch the 7pm show if that alright with you, Jessica?

 

“Sure, I will talk to Janice and give you a call tomorrow to let you know. Thanks Amy, I guess that I just need someone to talk to that understands.”

 

“That’s alright Jessica, call me anytime you need to talk, I really don’t mind. I will talk to you tomorrow, byes!”

 

“Bye, Amy,” I said as I ended the call.

 

I felt much better after talking with Amy, the two of us had an understanding. I just hoped that I could be as good a friend to her as she has been to me.

 

 

[-][+][-]

 

As I was lying on my bed I thought about what Amy was telling me. In truth, I knew I was jealous of Megan’s relationship with her parents. From what I could see, this was a family with lots of support for one another. It went completely against everything that I had come to expect as normal family relations. I think part of the reason it hurt me so much was that I knew this was all temporary. Soon I would be in foster care, or maybe a group home. Neither of them were things that I was looking forward to experiencing.

 

Chapter 13

 

As I was lying on the bed I heard a light tapping on my door, so I went over and opened it.

 

“Is everything alright?” Megan asked, looking worried.

 

I smiled, “Yes Megan. I guess that all of this was just a little overwhelming for me.”

 

“What do you mean Jessica?” Asked Megan

 

I reached out my hand and pulled her inside the room then the two of us flopped down on my bed. I looked over at her, “Megan I’m not used to all this. To you, this is all normal, but when I look at how your family relates to one another, it’s just not normal to me. It was never like this with my family, and I guess that I’m a little jealous because I would have given anything to have what you have here.”

 

Megan sat there thinking for a minute, “I guess that I never really looked at it like that. I guess that I’ve just taken everything for granted.   I’m sorry that it bothers you, Jessica. No one here wants to make you unhappy.”

 

“It’s just going to take me time Megan, I’m still happier here then I’ve been in a long time, Just look at what I’m wearing, if I tried wearing this at home, Dad would’ve gone completely nuts and Mom, she’d have had a few crude remarks and encouraged dad to do something about me.

 

This summer, his latest plan was sending me to a military style boot camp for the summer I guess a summer being in a place like that would make ‘a man’ out of me. That’s what finally did it for me. Up till then, committing suicide had only been thoughts. I guess that everyone has their breaking point and that was mine.”

 

 

Megan looked over at me and shook her head, “Jennifer I really can’t see you in a place like that and I really can’t see you spending a summer there turning you into a man. The truth is that you’re a woman inside. This was never a phase for you, the person you are right now is the real you, isn’t it?”

 

“Yes Megan, this is the real me. Andrew was always a mask that I had to wear.”

 

“I really doubt then that spending the summer there would’ve done anything to you other then make you miserable.”Megan said with a smile.

 

Megan pointed over to the keyboard. “Why don’t you play something for me?”

 

“What do you want me to play?”

 

“I don’t care, just play something, Jessica.”Megan said with a smile.

 

“Alright,” I said and walked over to the acoustic guitar and gave it a couple of strums to see if it was tuned and found that it was. Then I thought for a minute about what to play, and came up with a song that I liked.

 

I decided on a song by the Dixie Chicks, called Landslide. I’d always loved the song. I guess that I was a country girl at heart and started playing and singing the lyrics to the song. While I played and sang the song, I noticed Anthony standing outside my door with a big smile on his face. I remember going with Megan a few times when Anthony’s band was playing. They had been pretty good, but the band broke up a few years ago. Megan looked like she was enjoying herself as I finished up the song; she turned to her Father and smiled.

 

  “Jessica is pretty good, right Daddy?”

 

Anthony came into the room. and said “She is really good!”

 

He went over and grabbed his other guitar and looked over at me.

 

“Let’s try playing together, Jessica.”

 

I looked over at him and smiled. ”What do you want to play?

 

“How about ‘American Honey’?”Anthony suggested.

 

“I don’t really know that one that well, Anthony.” I admitted.

 

“Here Jessica, I’ll play it, and once you’re ready, you come in.” Anthony said with a smile.  

 

“Alright, I’ll give it a try.” I said with a frown.

 

I liked the song; I had heard it on the radio a few times and pretty much knew the words well enough. I thought I could sing it, but playing it was another story. I usually had to hear it a few times before I could actually play it myself. I guess that was part of the gift my music teacher said that I had.

 

So as Anthony played the song, I watched the cords that he was playing. I found myself following him as he changed the cords until I had it, then he turned to me.  

 

“Think you’re ready?”

 

I nodded and the two of us started playing together. At first Anthony was doing the singing, then he nodded to me to take over. Soon the two of us were taking turns and doing the choruses together. I had to admit that the two of us sounded pretty good together! If we practiced and had our timing right, we would have sounded really good. When we finished, Anthony continued on and played “Paint It Black” by the Rolling Stones. I found myself playing along right with him.

 

As the two of us played, we soon had a small audiences with Megan and Janice sitting on the bed listening. After awhile I found myself starting to get tired, and Anthony could tell. We called an end to our jam section.

 

Before bed Megan came downstairs and knocked on my door. After I opened it I noticed that she was carrying a blue nightgown.

 

“I thought that you might need something to wear to bed, Jessica”, Megan said with a smile and handed me a nice blue nightgown.

 

I smiled, “Thanks Megan, guess that I’ll be going on a shopping trip soon. Seems I need a little of everything.”

 

“That’s cool Jessica. I’ll get a hold of Jennifer and we’ll hit the mall. It’ll be fun!”

 

“Maybe, but I’ve got no idea how I’m going to pay for everything I need.”

 

“I wouldn’t worry about that. I’m sure that Mom and Dad will figure something out, and I’m thinking that Children’s Services is likely going to be paying for most of the stuff you need anyway.”

 

“Guess things are going to be different for me now; I don’t even know what I’m going to do about school. Everyone knows what I did, Megan. It was bad enough before now, so to people that see me I’ll always be that boy that tried to kill himself.”

 

“Maybe at first it will be that way Jessica, but I’m sure it’ll eventually blow over. You know how kids are, something will happen in a few weeks, and the kids will move on to the next big thing.

 

“To be honest I don’t even know if I want to go back to that school, if given a choice I’d like to remain Jessica and attend school and have a clean slate.”

 

“I can’t say that I’d blame you Jessica. You might be surprised how many people would be cool with you becoming a girl, it’s not like you were the manliest boy. I know for a fact that there were some students there that already thought you were a girl.”

 

“Really, Megan?”

 

“Yeah, Jennifer and I used to laugh about it because we knew the truth. But knowing what we know now I guess Jennifer and I were wrong, too.

 

I smiled, “Well, it’s not like I had girl written all over me.”

 

“Actually you did, Jessica. We were just too blind to see the truth till now.”

 

“Well, we better be getting to bed before Mom says something.”

 

“Goodnight, Sis,” Megan said, then leaned over and gave me a hug.

 

I leaned over and returned the hug and said goodnight. I waited till Megan left, then changed into my nightgown, thinking about the fact that she had just called me her sister.

 

[-][+][-]

 

It was around 11pm when Jake and his brother arrived at the hunting camp. Being out in the middle of nowhere, there was no electricity or phone. They lit the place up using lanterns, and had the wood stove for heating the place and cooking. Not that either one of them were planning on doing much cooking there.   Outside of the camp was a river that was perfect for fishing. Both Jake and James loved fishing, it was the perfect excuse to have a couple of cold beer, and neither really cared if they caught anything. Jake had tried to get Andrew interested in fishing and hunting, but the boy was too timid and would sooner scare the animals away then shoot one.

 

Jake looked around. “This is perfect James, now we just need Brian to find Andrew and put an end to all this. You know that eventually they’re going to expect you do some work for them Jake, and you know what they are going to want.”

 

“I don’t want to think about it James. The sooner this is over, the better.”

 

“Alright, Jake. It’s your life, but it might have been better taking the time.”

 

“Why are you saying this James, it was your idea to call Brian.”

 

“Yeah, it was Jake, but you’re not planning on just talkin’ to Andrew are you?”

 

“That’s up to the boy, James.”

 

“Just so you know that I am not going to jail, so the first sign of trouble, I am out of here,” James said.

 

“It won’t get to that, believe me. Andrew is a freaking sissy, all I have to do is put the fear of God into him and he will do whatever I tell him to.”

 

“I sure hope you’re right Jake.” James said, as he opened another beer.

 

“I know that I’m right! Look, all we have to do is get him here, and for that, I’ll need your help. The police know what I look like, and they’ll be looking for me. They’re not looking for you, James, so you’re going to be my eyes and ears and when the time comes we’ll make our move.

 

 

 

 

End of part Six