Synopsis: There is an old saying that says life is what you make it. These days, I firmly believe it to be true. I used to believe that God hated me. I was born into a world that wouldn’t accept me and I spent years praying to God to make me normal like other kids. My prayers remained unanswered, and I tried to end my suffering and take my own life. I guess that God finally took pity on me and decided to finally answer my prayers. They also say that he works in mysterious ways, and I’m living proof of that.

He turned my whole life completely upside down. He took me out of a uncaring home and placed me with a real family, one that loves and supports me, He gave me friends that would stand by me, no matter what. Of all the gifts that he gave me, the greatest gift of all was to make me a normal teenage girl.

 

Chapter 26

Sarah’s Story

 

Sarah Roberts was not having a very good time dealing with the loss of her family. She missed her husband terribly, and was even starting to miss her son. Andrew had always been there, and he would have at least tried to comfort her in his own way.   It was all the fighting between Andrew and Jake that bothered her most. She knew deep down that what had happened really wasn’t his fault. She had needed someone to blame. It was easier than looking within her for the real answers.

She thought about the day that her Doctor said that she was pregnant with a baby girl. It was the happiest day of her life, but there was also a part of her that was terrified to be a mother. She had come from an abusive home herself and told herself that it would be different for her child.   She was marrying a great guy that really loved her and wanted to have a family with her.

In truth, though, Sarah was filled with fear. She had suffered years of abuse at the hands of her own father, both mental and sexual abuse. Because of this, she had always had problems with trusting others and had very little self worth. Sarah’s mother had always refused to accept that the abuse was actually happening.

Sarah dealt with the abuse the only way she knew how, by hiding from it and keeping the secrets to herself. Never daring to talk to anyone about what was going on at home, and even blaming herself for the abuse.   It continued for years, and then she met a man that made her feel special and treated her like she was a princess. At first, she was afraid to let him get close to her.

She was afraid if she let him get to close, he would turn and run. Jake kept coming around, and slowly he broke down Sarah’s defenses. Jake was honest with her, and told her about what happened overseas. He had ended up in jail because of his drinking. Sarah worried about that, because she really didn’t want another man like her father in her life.   Jake had been sober for the last two years and she decided that she would give him a chance.

She had made the mistake and told Jake about the abuse. This had created a rift in the family. One day when the family was having a get together, Sarah’s father had said something to her which Jake took offense to, and he beat up her father. This pretty much ended all contact she had with her parents.

Sarah was so worried after that day that Jake would just walk away, not wanting to deal with all of the baggage. When he called her and said we need to talk, she was scared to death that he was going to break it off with her. He had picked a nice restaurant at least, but to her surprise he asked her to marry him instead. After the shock of his proposal she said yes, with Jake she felt loved and protected. She wanted nothing more then to be his wife and when he ordered the champagne for the two of them, it was all right because it was a special occasion.  

Most of Sarah’s family had turned their back on her because of what had happened with Jake and her father. It was a small wedding, with mostly his family in attendance.   The only family member on her side was her sister Janet and a few Sarah’s friends had come to support her as well. After their marriage, the two of them settled into a life together. When the Doctor said that she was pregnant and was going to have a baby girl, it was the happiest day of her life.

When Sarah broke the news to Jake, things started to change. Jake started spending more time working, and with the money rented a larger home for them. They spent hours shopping for everything that a little girl would need. By the time Sarah went into labor, they thought they had everything, but it was not meant to be. In the place of the baby girl that they had been expecting, there was a beautiful little baby boy.

Jake was happy although he had blown a lot of money, but he had always wanted to have a son to do things with. Sarah loved the child but felt let down, she was looking forward to being a mother and having a little girl that she could do mother/daughter things with.

Things changed even more after that. Jake continued to working late, and a year later he found himself drinking with the guys after work. He hadn’t really planned on having anything, but sitting with the guys, he’d said hell with it, and ordered a beer. That one drink had eventually led to insanity.

 

Chapter 27

 

I spent most of the morning resting. Amy had to start her shift, but I was glad that she took the time to visit. She said that she would drop in for another visit later in the day. It was around 11 am when I woke up to the sound of people arriving with Megan and Jennifer following close behind.

“I am so happy for you!” Jessica said, hugging me. “Megan told me, and I just couldn’t believe it.”

“Me either Jennifer, I keep expecting to wake up and this has all been a dream”

“It’s not a dream Jessica.” Megan said, grinning.

“So how is my girl doing?” Anthony asked, as he kissed her forehead.

“I’m still pretty sore, but the medicine helps a lot.”

“Give it a couple days, and you should be feeling much better.” Anthony told her.

“Look Jessica, Daddy brought in his guitar for you!” Megan said happily.

I looked at Anthony.   “Are you sure that is a good idea?   What if someone steals it?”

Anthony smiled, “It’s alright Jessica, I am not too worried about it. I really doubt that it will go missing, just keep it in the closet when you’re not using it.”

“Alright Daddy, I will take good care of it.”

 

[-][+][-]

 

“Mom talked to Amy last night, has she been in to visit yet?” asked Megan.

“She dropped in before work, the two of us had a long talk, and she will back in later.”

“That’s cool, I really like Amy.” Jennifer said with a smile.

“Yeah, she is really nice, we should have her over, Daddy.” Megan said.

I looked over at Megan, “I have already invited her over. Once I’m feeling better, I I’m going to make us all supper. Yes, Jennifer, you’re invited too. I can always use someone to do up the dishes when I’m done.” I said, giving her a wink.

“Thanks a lot Jessica. I ‘d hit you with one of those pillows, but I’d likely end up hurting you!” Jennifer said, and then laughed.

I looked over at Dad. “So how’s Mom doing?”

“She’s doing alright honey, nothing to worry about. She’s home, sleeping in.”

“I felt kind of bad. She was here all night, and it couldn’t have been very comfortable.”

“She would have stayed, anyway. That’s just the way she is, honey.” Anthony said.

“You don’t know this yet, but when Mom makes up her mind, there is no talking her out of it.” Megan said, smiling.

Jennifer looked over at me, “When you are out of here, Jessica, and feeling better we’re going to have a sleep over at my place.”

“All right, I’ll be there Jennifer. It should be a lot of fun!” I said.

“As long as you’re not the first to fall asleep!” Megan and Jennifer laughed

“All right, what happens to the person who falls asleep first?”

“We can’t tell you while Dad is here, it’s a girl thing.” Megan said with a laugh.

I just shook my head. “What have I got myself into?”

“You’re the one that wanted to be a girl.” Jennifer said laughing

“Yeah, I guess you’re right there, Jennifer.”I said and tossed a pillow at her.

Soon everyone was laughing. Jennifer went to toss the pillow at me, but Megan caught it and started hitting Jennifer with it.

“Did I give you permission to beat on my little sister?” Megan said, hitting Jennifer with it.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched the two of them attacking one another with the pillows. It hurt like hell, but it was still fun to watch, until Dad put an end to it anyway. We had a good visit, but soon they had to get going and to be honest I was still feeling pretty tired out.   After they left I end up falling asleep again.

 

[-][+][-]

 

It was around 4 pm when Amy arrived, she looked pretty tired out. I guess she had a busy day, but it was nice to see her.

“Hi, honey!” She said as she took a seat next to me. “How was your day?”

“I guess that it was alright. Dad dropped in with Megan and Jennifer for a little while. He dropped off his guitar for me to play around with.”

“That’s cool, have you been playing long?” Asked Amy.

“I took it up a few years ago, but I really didn’t have much time for it.” I said.

“I am sorry, honey. I can’t really stay too long tonight, my girlfriend Tara is picking me up. I hope you don’t mind, but I asked her to meet me here. She has been dying to meet you.” Amy said frowning.

I smiled, “It’s alright Amy, and I want to meet her. If she’s a part of your life, then she must be pretty cool.”

“Thanks Jessica, she is very important to me, just like you are honey.”

“So Jessica, what kind of music do you like?” Amy asked as she picked up the guitar.

“Mostly rock and country, but I’ll play anything, as long as it’s good.” I said.

“Play something for me,” Amy said, and handed me the guitar.

I took the guitar and thought about what to play, then started a song by Sarah Mclachlan called “Arms of an Angel.”

It took me a few minutes to get comfortable enough to actually play.   Once I had the guitar in a decent position, I started playing the chords to the song and singing the lyrics. It was a beautiful song and I sang it the best that I could.

After I finished playing I continued into another song, this time something more upbeat. I played Taylor Swift’s “Fifteen.” As I played the song, I sang the words and found myself really getting into the song. It felt good to just unwind and I found that it also took my mind off the pain that I had been feeling.

When I finished, Amy smiled and shook her head. “You are pretty good, Jessica!”

“Thanks Amy, I’ve always loved to sing and play music.”

“You should really consider doing this for a living.” Amy said with a smile.

“No Amy, I think one operation is enough.” I said a completely serious tone.

“No silly, playing music!” Amy said and laughed.

I handed her back the guitar. “I don’t know, maybe someday, but for now I just have so much on my plate. It would be nice to make money doing something that I really love.”

 

[-][+][-]

 

There was a knock outside my door and when Amy and I looked, there was Mom. She looked a lot better then she did this morning. I guess she really needed the rest. Mom came in and leaned over and gave me a hug and kiss.

“How’s my girl doing?” she asked me with a smile and then gave Amy a hug, It’s nice to see you again Amy. I hope she hasn’t been talking your ears off.

I laughed. “No Mom, I’ve been a good girl.”

“Jessica was just playing me a couple of songs. She’s pretty good, isn’t she?” Amy said with a smile.

“You should hear her when she has a band playing behind her. Ever since Jessica moved in, she and Anthony haven’t giving me a moment’s peace.”

“Come on Mom, it’s not that bad!” I said smiling.

“Actually, it’s a lot of fun.” Mom admitted, then turned to Amy. “You should come over sometime. If you’re seeing anyone, they would be welcome, too.” Janice said.

“I’d like that Janice!” Amy said.

[-][+][-]

 

The three of us spent the next fifteen minutes talking back and forth, and then Tara arrived.   Tara was very pretty. I could see what Amy must have seen in her and you could tell that the two of them were very much in love.   Amy met her with a hug. You could see that their embrace was much more then just two friends.

Amy turned to Janice and I. “Everyone, this is my girlfriend Tara. Tara, this little lady in bed is Jessica, and this is her mother, Janice.”

I smiled and said, “It’s nice to meet you, Tara.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you too Jessica! I have heard so much about you.” Tara said, “and it’s nice to meet you too Janice. How are you doing Jessica?”

“Just a little sore, but glad that it’s finally over, and I can get on with my life.”

“Amy has told me a lot about you, Jessica. I’m glad that the two of you found one another. I know that it hasn’t been an easy road for Amy, and it’s nice to know she has someone like you to look out for her.

I smiled, “Amy is like a sister to me. I’m sure that the two of us will always be close.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Jessica. I hope that the two of us can get to know one another better, too.”   Tara said smiling. “I’m afraid that Amy and I better get going. We are meeting my mom for supper. I hope we can all get together soon.” Tara said with a smile.

Amy gave me a hug and kiss. “I will see you tomorrow, Sis.”

I smiled. “Thanks for visiting, Amy. It was nice to meet you, Tara.”

Janice smiled. “I hope we can all get together soon. Have a nice supper girls.”

 

[-][+][-]

 

After everyone left and it was just Janice and I. She went into her purse.

“I have something here for you, honey.” She pulled out a new cell phone and handed it to me. “This way you can always call us if you are lonely, honey.”

“You didn’t have to, Mom. I would have been all right.”

“I know, honey, but every girl should carry one especially when they’re out.” Janice said, smiling. “It’s all set up and has texting, so you’re ready to go honey.”

“Thanks Mom, you’re the greatest!” I said and gave her a hug.

I wonder where Doctor Masters is, Mom? I thought that I would see him today.

“He will likely be in tomorrow morning, honey. It must be his day off, has anyone been in to see you?”

“Just my nurse, but then again, I have been pretty tired and sleeping. I might not have noticed if anyone has been in.”

“Are you in any pain honey? I could get the nurse for you.”

“It’s not that bad now, Mom, as long as I’m not moving around much. I imagine it will be worse once I am up and walking.”

“It will be honey, especially with the stitches. You will have to take your time when you walk for awhile, at least at first.” Janice said with a frown. “Anthony has given our lawyer a call, and we have already started the process of adopting you. It will still take a while, but Bill is filling out the paperwork. It should be sent out this week. He’s also working on getting your name and birth records changed to reflect who you are now.”

“I guess it wouldn’t be good to use my old identification. Something tells me there might be a problem when I go to get my driver’s license.” I said smiling.

“There is also school, wherever you decide to go, you will be attending as a girl. Your transcripts are under Andrew Roberts, so that has to be changed to Jessica Dawn Tanner.” Janice said, as she climbed up on the bed and laid next to me.   I placed my head against her shoulder and found myself cuddling with her.

“You know, Jessica, it’s not going to be easy now, just because you are a girl. There are still plenty of things from your past that you will need to deal with if you want to be really happy.” Janice said, as she caressed my hair.

“I know Mom, I have been thinking the same thing. Eventually, I will have to deal with what my parents did to me.   For now, I just want to enjoy the life I have now. Being a girl is a dream come true and being a part of your family is a dream come true for me. So for now, I am just going to enjoy what I have, and will worry about everything else later, Mom. All right, Mom.”

“Sure baby,” Mom said, and kissed me on the forehead.

 

 

End of part 12

To be continued in part 13