Jubal: In the beginning
Copyright  © 2011 Faeriemage
All Rights Reserved.
Jubal begins life, but not in the normal way. It seems that fate is pulling no punches for the little one.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is not the type of story I usually write. There is a reason for it, but not one that will be obvious from this short piece of the life of one Jubal Franks.

This story began as an attempt to provide a little bit of personal back story for a teenager named Jubal. The original story I wrote ended up disjointed at first, so I expanded the first chapter I'd written from 7500 words to well past 13000 words. And I didn't even revise anything in the last 3500 words of the original.

The additional 5500 words had all come as an expansion upon the early life of Jubal. How he became who he was when the 'real' story opened.

I realized yesterday that this was my story to tell, and I needed to tell all of it.

I apologize for the lack of a happy ending.

I also apologize for posting this just after sending my editor a copy. I will be making changes to it as she gets back to me ;)

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"The husband died at the scene. The patient is tachycardic, and losing blood rapidly. Clotting factors aren't working."

"What happened to her?"

"Their car went through a railing and into a dry river bed. . ."

The doctor and EMT were interrupted by a nurse attaching a monitor to the obviously pregnant woman's belly "I've got fetal heartbeat."

"We need her in surgery now. We can either save the mother or child at this point, and the child seems to have a greater chance of survival."

***
"I don't care what you do with it, as long as you let us have our daughter back."

"The child is your daughter's as much as it was our son's"

"We never agreed to the marriage of that freak of a girl you call your son to our baby girl. I would have stopped it if I could."

"Jim, even your money isn't enough to call a stop to a perfectly legal marriage."

"Legal? Legal?! . ."

"Jim, honey, keep it down." Samantha Hastings looked around at the mostly abandoned waiting room. Some of the other families waiting there looked over at the four of them, and then looked away embarrassed that they'd been caught looking.

"Samantha, I will not keep this down."

Jim Hastings was still fuming when a doctor walked into the waiting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hastings? I am sorry to inform you that your daughter did not make it out of surgery. We were able to save her child. . ."

"That child is no blood of ours. Let the Franks take their freak of an offspring."

The Hastings stood to leave. They sneered at the lighter skinned couple they were leaving behind.

The doctor was confused to say the least. "I donated the sperm that was used to artificially inseminate my daughter-in-law. Our son insisted, and she agreed."

At the doctor's questioning glance, Anthony Franks blushed.

"Our son was born our daughter. She. . .even after all these years I sometimes forget. . .he wanted to have a child that was genetically related to him. Our daughter-in-law's parents only found out what happened last week. They disowned them both."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Franks. Since the child is genetically yours, you do have legal custody."

"The child is our son's, doctor. His, or her, birth certificate should reflect this," Amelia Franks said.

"That is a good question."

"Isn't every child one or the other?"

"Yes, usually. About one in a thousand children, however, are what is termed intersexed."

"So, what your telling us is the child is both male and female?."

"Yes and no. Usually, the child will exhibit a greater degree of characteristics one way of the other. And they will always be genetically one or the other. In this case, however, it's a bit harder to tell. I'd like authorization to put the child through an MRI."

"Isn't that a bit extreme?"

"I si9mply don't know how to classify the child."

"Why classify the child at all? We can begin calling the child Him, and let him decide."

"It's not that easy. We would have to make surgical correction, so that he conformed with socially acceptable. . ."

"Absolutely not," Amelia was incensed, "We were told twenty years ago that our child would be happier if we made the exact same decision. So, we cut off his male genitals and turned him into a girl. We made the wrong decision then, we're not making that decision again. The child will not be altered!"

The doctor backed up a bit, his eyes widening.

"The child has a mental gender identity. It is already formed. We learned that the hard way last time. We tried to force our little boy into dresses, telling him that if he'd just give it a chance he'd feel so much better about himself.

"I will never do that to another child for as long as I live."

"What do you propose we do, then Mr. Franks?"

"We call the child Jubal, the name our son finally picked, and Marie for her sweet mother that she never got to know. Jubal Marie Franks. One name for his father. One name for his mother."

"This is highly irregular, Mr. Franks."

"Need I remind you that I am on the board of trustees for this hospital? Just do it, Doctor Grimes."

***
Jubal looked around the living room. It was so big compared to his two year old body. He didn't see his Mommy here, so he decided that she must be "elsewhere."

He had some big words already, and elsewhere was one of them. To most other people it sounded like he was saying el-were, but his parents knew what he meant. They smiled at him, and that made him happy. He said el-were whenever he could.

He especially liked daddy's tickles, but not right now. He wanted his mommy to give him a big hug.

He'd only gotten five or six this morning and he was way below his daily quota.

"Mommy hug! Mommy hug!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, knowing that his mommy would know just what he needed.

He wandered into the kitchen where his mommy and daddy were talking. They looked so serious. Not the normal smiles that they gave him.

"Mommy smile! Mommy hug!"

"But, Tony, he's only two years old. How can they do this?"

"Mommy hug?"

His mommy lifted him into her arms and just held him to her.

"It's a pre-school, Amelia. And it's private. They can make any decisions on who they allow in they want."

"But he didn't do anything wrong!"

"It's okay, mommy. Jubal sorry. Jubal sorry, okay?"

"My dearest little one, you did nothing wrong." Amelia teared up a bit.

"The impression that they gave me, was that it was our fault they weren't letting Jubal in."

"It's simple, then. We stop all donations to them."

"Amelia!"

"I'm serious, Tony. That is our vote for their policies when we offer them money. We've given them close to a hundred thousand dollars over the past ten years. If their policy is to discriminate based on gender, then I'm sorry, I no longer feel comfortable assisting them to stay in business."

"Mommy hug. Jubal sorry, Mommy."

"I'm sorry too, Jubal. I know that you aren't to blame. I love you, my dear sweet boy. I love you, my dear sweet girl. You have the right to choose who you will be, and no silly day school can change that.

***
Jubal was out in front of the gate by the road. He liked the grass out there better than in the carefully maintained front yard of the estate. It was more. . .natural. He'd gotten a beautiful doll for his third birthday as well as a fire truck.

The doll was wearing a pretty yellow and pink dress, which was a lot better than the business suit she'd originally come in. She was the head firefighter because Jubal thought the yellow dress looked better than the firefighter's rubberized jackets.

She was a little smaller than the firefighters, but even Jubal knew that girls were smaller than boys. She fit perfectly in the driver's seat of the fire engine that he also got for his birthday.

He'd gotten everything he wanted. A pretty doll and a fire engine. He'd received other toys and clothes as well, but they mostly sat in his toy box untouched.

Mommy let him wear a bow in his hair today, but he wore his shorts and tee shirt instead of a dress. As he'd told his Mommy: Dresses were for playing Tea, not for playing in the dirt.

A little girl, maybe five or six years old walked up to Jubal as he played.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Playing firewoman."

"It's fireman, silly."

"No, see, I have a female head fireman, so it is firewoman."

"Girls aren't firemen. They're mommies and doctors and stuff."

"My Mommy said that a girl can be anything she wants. Boys too."

"Why is your pretty dolly a fireman?"

"Firewoman. It's because the dolly is me. I want to be a firewoman too."

"But you're a boy?"

"Nope. I'm a Jubal. Or a Marie."

"But those are boy clothes."

"And a pretty bow. Just like me, they are both."

"You can't be both, silly."

"Yes, huh. I can be both."

"But, you're one or the other."

"Nu-nuh. I am NOT! I'm a JUBAL! I get to choose!"

Amelia ran to him from her garden just inside the front gate, wondering what had happened. She noticed one of the children from the neighborhood talking to Jubal, who was crying and running toward her.

"Mommy, Mommy, this mean girl said that I can't be both. Tell her she's wrong!"

"My poor sweet girl. My poor boy. Mommy's got you. Shhh."

Amelia continued to comfort Jubal even as she turned toward the other girl. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Bethany."

"That's a pretty name, Bethany. How old are you?"

"Almost six."

"Almost six, huh. As old as that?" Amelia smiled at her. "Well, Bethany, Jubal Marie was right. He, or she, is both a boy and a girl right now. It isn't common, but it does happen. Jubal is special in that way. We want her, or him, to decide what is right for Jubal to be, and not what is right for everyone else."

"But, my mommy says that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. It can't be both, can it?" Bethany had a confused look on her face.

Amelia smiled sweetly at the innocent little girl. "In Jubal's case, it can."

"If Jubal is a girl, then she can come play with me at my house. Mommy and Daddy don't think I should have boy friends."

"Would you like to go and play at Bethany's house, Jubal?"

"She wants girl me? Marie then, Mommy."

"Ok, Jubal, I mean Marie. Would you like to wear a dress over to Bethany's house then?"

"Yes, Mommy. My yellow one."

***
Jubal was playing quietly with Bethany's dolls when he realized that Bethany wasn't playing with him.

"Whatcha doin'? he asked, imitating her from earlier.

"Reading a book."

"What's reading?"

"I look at the words, and they tell me things."

"What's this word?"

"And."

"ooh. . .and this word?"

"a"

"and a. . .look, and has an 'a' in it." Light sparkled in Jubal's eyes. "There are 'a's all over the page. The a word is there?"

"No, when it is part of another word, it is called a letter."

"So, a is a letter and a word, but and is only a word?" Jubal had a look of concentration on his little face.

"Yep." Bethany giggled.

"Do more words."

***
"So, what did the two of you do this afternoon?" Amelia asked as she pulled the yellow dress off Jubal.

"We did reading."

"So, Bethany read to you?"

"No, Jubal did reading. I readinged 'a' and 'and' and 'not' and NUREAU, but that's a nonsense word."

"Wow, Jubal, I'm impressed."

"Will you teach me more reading, Mommy?"

***
Amelia had just put Jubal down for an afternoon nap when the phone rang.

"Amelia."

"Hello, is this Mrs. Franks?"

"It is."

"You said Amelia? Hi, Amelia, This is Bethany's mom, Lauren."

"What can I do for you, Lauren?"

"Well, according to Bethany, your daughter Marie thinks she's a boy."

"No, you're mistaken."

"Are you calling my daughter a liar?"

"No, I'm just saying you misunderstood. I'm sorry, I was caught off guard. Let me start again. Jubal Marie is intersexed."

"Why did you give your child a girl and a boy name?"

"Because she has characteristics of both. That's what intersexed means."

"Why didn't you have the doctor just fix it then?"

"And which gender would you pick?"

"Does it matter? You raise a child properly and they'll never question their gender."

"I'm sorry, Lauren, but that's just not the case."

"You're not telling me that you think these tranny freaks are normal are you."

"Lauren, I'll ask you to watch your language, please. And no, I don't think they're normal, in the way that you're defining it. I do think that people sometimes feel trapped in the wrong sex."

"It's all just people trying to convince themselves that their deviance is. . ."

"Stop right there, Lauren. I believed like you did once upon a time. I had a child who I was sure was my daughter. I enrolled him in ballet and gymnastics. He was even a cheerleader in junior high for a little while. Not because he wanted it, but because I thought it would be good for him. Help him fit in with the 'other girls' so to speak. When he tried to commit suicide after cutting his breasts to ribbons, we got him the help he needed."

Lauren was quiet for a moment or two and then spoke again in a much quieter voice. "What happened to your son?"

"He got married to a beautiful woman we were happy to call daughter. Jubal is their child. I would never even consider putting my son's child through what I mistakenly thought was the right thing. . ."

"I never knew. I'm sorry. I thought that he was your child. . ."

"He calls me Mommy, and I let him. We figured it would be easier for everyone involved."

"I see where you're coming from, but I don't know if I'm comfortable letting my girl play with yours. We try not to let any boys over to the house."

"I think that's a little silly, don't you?"

"Look, I understand your trauma from the past, leave me to mine!"

Lauren slammed the phone down on the hook.

Amelia looked a bit bemused, but at least, maybe, she had gotten through to someone a little about her dear sweet girl, her dearest boy.

***
"Daddy, Daddy, I know what I want for Christmas now!"

"What's that, Jubal, or is it Marie today?" Jubal was wearing one of her dresses, but had a pair of jeans on underneath.

"Marie today, Daddy."

"So, what do you want for Christmas?"

"I want books. Lotsa books. And ones with more words. The picture books I got for my birthday are too small. I want longer stories."

"You know that they will be harder to read, right?"

"I know, silly Daddy. But if it's not hard, then it's not worth it, right?"

"That's my girl!"

"Boy! daddy. I'm Marie today, but I'm a boy."

Jubal went off to play, and Tony looked up at Amelia. "Marie is a boy?"

"This is a new kick he's on. He told me earlier that it was hard for him to decide whether he wanted to be a girl or a boy, and thought maybe some of the difficulty was because he liked both of his names so much. So, to try and clarify, he's trying to be a Boy as Marie, and a Girl as Jubal."

"He said all that?"

"Well, you know, he used kid shorthand, but yes, that is what he said."

"I think we might be creating a monster," Tony said with a wide grin.

"I think he wants to be a boy, but is unsure how we will take it. We are so wishy-washy where that is concerned, trying not to influence him either way, that we are making him think if he decides that we will love him less."

"Let me handle it then, Love."

Tony went to find his son. He found the boy playing with his dolls in the fire truck again. He smiled at that.

"Jubal Marie, could I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure, Daddy."

"You know your Mom and I love you, right?"

"Yes Daddy. Marie being a boy isn't wrong is it?"

"No, honey, it isn't wrong. Do you like being a boy or a girl more?"

"It is more fun being a boy. We get to play in the dirt, and you work on the engine which is fun, but I know not to get too close."

"That's not all there is to being a boy, you know."

"It's not?"

"Nope. Boys and Girls have a lot that they both can do. The one thing they really don't share, however, is that Boys are Daddies and Girls are Mommies."

"Oh. . .so girls can play in the dirt and boys can wear pretty clothes?"

"Yes, honey, they can."

"Oh, then how can I decide?"

A couple of tears came to his eyes at that, but Tony didn't cry easily. He just hugged his child to him.

"I didn't say something wrong did I?"

"Of course not, sweetie. Do you want to be a daddy or a mommy more when you grow up?"

Jubal looked thoughtful for a couple of minutes, and then looked up at his daddy. "I think I want to be a Daddy when I grow up. I love Mommy, but I wouldn't want to be Mommy. I can decide different later?"

"Yes, you can change your mind later. You only have to make your final decision when you are twelve."

"That is so long from now."

"Yes, that is a ways away, my son."

"I'm a SON! Wahoo!!!"

Tony laughed at his sons antics and Amelia spoke up from the doorway, "Yes you are, my dearest boy."

***
The dolls and trucks and cars and stuffed animals all went untouched amid the ruins of the shiny paper. Jubal sat on the couch and read the first of four books that he'd been given.

He wanted to master all of them.

The first one wasn't much better than the Seuss books he already had. Sure there were more words, but they were mostly the same words. He wanted new words.

He wanted to know everything.

'Maybe, they use the same words so that the new words make sense.

That thought made reading the old words easier. Another thought popped into his mind, and he smiled.

Jubal went tromping around in his nightgown. He still refused to wear pajamas. He liked the feel of nightgowns better.

"Mommy? Mommy!"

"In the kitchen, sweetheart."

"Is there a word book?"

"A word book?"

"You know, one that has lots of new words in it, and old words so you can understand."

She looked confused for a moment, and then a light went off. "You mean a dictionary?"

"What is dictionry?"

"Let me show you."

She went into the study and got the oversized dictionary off the shelf. Jubal opened it up to the first page and his eyes got wide.

"This is so much better than a word book. This is. . .easy! They just tell you what the words mean like you and Daddy tell me when I ask."

Amelia laughed and smiled, "Yes, dearest boy, they just tell you the meanings."

Jubal sat down and began to read the dictionary.

"Honey, you don't just read the dictionary."

Jubal looked up worried, "Why not? Is it wrong?"

"Usually you use it to look up words you don't understand."

Jubal was thoughtful for a moment. "But, isn't is easier to simply read the dictionary first? There are so many words I don't understand."

Amelia laughed again, and gave him a hug. "Of course you can read the dictionary, if you want to."

"Thanks, Mommy. I will."

"Well, Okay."

Jubal took the dictionary to the couch and began to read. He was confused about the wierd symbols after each of the bold words.

"Mommy, what are these letters? They look different from the ones I am used to, and I can't sound them out."

"Oh, those are there for pronunciation. So you can sound the new word out easier."

"Ok, so what sounds do they make."

"I'm not sure," Amelia flipped through the book a little till she found the pronunciation guide. "Here you go. Here are the explanations for all the symbols."

"What does Pah-ho-netic mean?"

"That's phonetic, honey. It means it is spelled the way it sounds."

Jubal looked through he chart and realized something. "There is only one letter for each sound, Mommy. How come we don't spell things with these letters?"

Amelia laughed at that, she couldn't help it. "It would be a lot easier, wouldn't it, honey."

Jubal laughed a bit, unsure what was funny, "Yes, Mommy."

"Sometimes people just don't do things the easy way, honey."

"Ok, well, I'm going to learn the phonetic letter so it is easier for me. I do things the easy way."

"Ok, sweetie. Have fun."

"Yes, Mommy.

***
Jubal set down the dictionary, looking thoughtful. He'd just finished November, and realized he didn't know which month his birthday was in.

He knew that Christmas was in December, and this year, since reading April, he'd kept better track of which months were which. Thirty days was just so many to keep track of thought. He had a calendar that he colored on to keep track. He made a little picture on each new day.

June Fifteenth. He knew that his birthday hadn't happened yet this year, so it wasn't in January, or February. March was a nice month, but not his. April, his favorite month wasn't his birthday either.

And May, the shortest month name, wasn't his. It might be later in June, but. . .

"Mommy? When is my birthday?"

"Not for months and months yet, Jubal."

"But when? I'd like to put in on my calendar."

"Ok, sweetie, let me show you."

"No, I can do it. Just tell me the date."

"Ok, Mr. bossy pants. It is October 13th." Amelia smiled as she watched her son turn through the pages of the calendar. He counted to himself as he did it.

"One. . .two. . .three. . .FOUR! October! It is only four months away. That is so close, we need to start planning, Mommy. I want a big party."

"Honey, that's more than fifteen weeks away."

"Oh," Jubal's face fell. "But we can have a big party on my birthday?" There was hope in his eyes.

"We can have a big birthday, Jubal."

***
The children were all playing in the formal garden. The hedge maze had been trimmed and they were playing a game of tag in there. The giggles and screeches carried in through the open door where Amelia sat watching.

She looked into the shade for a moment and realized that Jubal wasn't with the others in the maze. He was crying, and hiding in a corner of the garden by the house.

"What's wrong, Jubal?"

"I didn't get any new books. I just got toys, and all boy toys. I wanted at least a new Barbie."

"Sweetie, we didn't give you any new books, because you are already reading the ones in the study."

"But, they're yours and Dad's. I want my books to read."

"Ok sweetie, and we'll get you a new Barbie too. Why don't you go run and play with the other kids?"

"I don't know how, and they won't explain it to me. They called me stupid."

"Honey, they just don't know how smart you are. Watch what they do. Read their actions like you would a new word in a book."

"You mean I should look for the context?"

"Exactly," Amelia said with a smile.

"Ok, I'll figure it out. Thanks, Mommy."

"Go run and play, Jubal"

Amelia smiled at him. She felt the creaking in her bones, and worried how she would be able to continue raising a young child, when she was only getting older. She'd been almost thirty when she'd had her son, and he'd been thirty five when he died.

Seventy was entirely too young to be feeling this old.

Her breathing was labored when she got back to her chair. She would just rest her eyes for a moment here in the shade. She could hear Jubal joining in with the game with the other children.

She was so tired. So sleepy.

Just a short nap, and she'd be ready to run and play with her beautiful boy. . .

***
"Dad!? Dad!!? There's something wrong. I can't wake Mommy up. DAD! HELP ME!

Tony heard the desperation in his son's voice. He'd been working in the study, trying to finish out his last case. Judges had a tendency to be older, but he was beginning to feel it. It was time for him to retire and spend more time with his son.

Those thoughts stuck with him as he missed the top step on the winding staircase.

He was staring up looking at the frantic face of his son. Something was wrong with his back. He couldn't reach out his hand to touch his son's face. "Call 911, Jubal. They can help."

Jubal nodded and ran away. Tony knew it was too late for him as he felt his consciousness slipping.

"Grow up strong, My son. Be beautiful, My daughter." He whispered these words. His only regret was that Jubal would never hear them.

***
"Hey, Josephina, I have a bad one for you."

"My name is Joey."

"Fine, Joey. You'd think that a big black woman like you would be a Laticia or Maticia or some kind of 'Tiicia."

"Nancy, I would appreciate if you'd keep the racial slurs to a minimum."

"Sorry, I just joking."

"It wasn't funny. How bad is it? Not another girl being put out as a prostitute by her step-father/pimp is it?"

"Nope, kid being raised by the grandparent. Grandmother died of a blood clot in the lungs. Grandfather fell down the stairs trying to help."

"The kid lost both parents in one day? How old?"

"Today is the kid's fifth birthday."

"So, boy or girl this time?"

"Well, there is the other part of the scenario. The child is intersexed. The officers tell me that he calls himself a boy, but the doctor who checked him out. . .shocked to say the least. We tracked down the family's doctor, and found out that the grandparents wanted the kid to decide when he turns twelve."

"Why do you give me all the tough cases?"

"Because you're the new girl around here."

Joey just stood and shook her head. "Alright, give me the file and I'll see what I can do."

***
It was a cold day in November. Jubal still had his calendar, and still marked off every day. He wanted his Mommy and Daddy back, and hoped that by marking off each day, by sticking to his ritual, he would be able to see them again.

The sun shone on the rows of headstones, illuminating but not comforting. He wished that the sky were grey and it were raining. the sky should be crying like he was. The sun shone and threw irony over the scene.

The smell of dirt pervaded the air. The only other people with him were Joey, big comfortable Joey, and a Priest. Joey had told him that the Will had said that his parents wanted to have a church funeral, but he didn't know exactly what that meant. He didn't care either. He just wanted his parents back.

"Get up! Mommy, Get up! Please. They're going to burry you, Mommy. Daddy, tell her. Daddy, wake up and tell Mommy I don't like this game anymore."

He pulled his hand out of the social worker's grasp and ran over to the casket. He tried to open it up, but it was locked.

"Please, Mommy. I'll do better I promise. I'm sorry I'm not fast enough. I'lkl learn to run faster. And read. You want me to read. I'll read. I'll do anything, Mommy."

The priest looked sadly over to the social worker, who simply nodded. The priest turned the key in first one, and then the other, motor and the caskets slowly lowered into the ground.

"MOMMY!!!!"

Joey dragged Jubal away from the gravesite.

"Doesn't the child have any other family?" asked the priest.

"None. The only blood relation refuses to accept the child, saying that he is a freak of nature. They hung up on me the first time I called, and refuse to pick up when I call back."

"What hope is there for the child then?"

"He's only five, Father. It's really likely that he will get adopted."

"I will pray for him."

"That's all anyone can ask of you, Father."

***
"I wanted to make sure you were aware that the child is intersexed."

"We're aware, Joey. My wife and I can't have any children of our own. We'd been hoping to adopt an infant, but the first time we were here, something about little Jubal reached out and grabbed onto us."

"What my husband means to say is we fell in love with him at first sight. One of the other social workers told us that he was intersexed, so we decided to research a bit before making a decision. We just wanted to ask a couple of questions before we started working toward taking Jubal home with us. Why didn't the doctor just resolve the problem when he was an infant?"

"The grandparents want Jubal to be able to decide. They provided a trust for him that will pay all expenses that might accrue. He has until his twelfth birthday."

"That long? Wont there be problems with the schools?"

"If there are, money is also put aside for any legal situations that may come up. Jubal is likely to want to be a boy at that point, but he is a bit ambiguous in certain areas."

"Ambiguous?"

"He occasionally likes to wear dresses, and he has a couple of Barbies."

"Well, I always wanted to play dolls with my daughter, so I guess we get the best of both worlds with Jubal."

"Honey, let's go talk to Jubal and see if he wants to go home with us."

Joey watched the couple as they walked into the play room where Jubal currently sat. She knew there would be trouble ahead for the little boy, but at least for the moment, he might actually find some happiness with the Carsons.

Like she told the priest almost a month ago, praying was all that could be asked of anyone right now.