The Play

It's amazing how over life's courses that you forget many an occurrence that at the time were important to you. This is just such a story and memory, one from a long since forgotten time (but thats what diaries are for right?).
I had had my "awakening" during the summer 2 years prior at my Aunts, having spent 3 weeks as a budding 10/11 year old girl (my birthday was during the time I was there). For several months after, I drove my Mom crazy asking for panties, dresses, nightgowns, etc., with the return being an assortment of odd, angry or puzzled looks most of the time. She did finally purchase me a pair of panties (for sleeping she said) and for that following Halloween permitted me to go out dressed as a girl. Nothing more was ever said by her, and I didn't really pursuing it any further.

Then came the 6th grade "play" the following year.
It was a part of a play by Shakespeare is all I can remember (what part/play for some reason I didn't write in my diary). I was to play a Nobleman or something like that.. (heavens that was over 40 years ago..) but per the teacher the costume was to be as "Victorian" ("Renaissance" as its known today) as you had, could make, or whatever. Not being one to splurge on such items, my Mom wasn't quit sure what to do, but knew she wasn't going to buy something for a one time thing and would dig something up.

My sister who is 3 years older than me had been given a dress the year before which she said didn't fit -- to small she said, but was too pretty for my Mom to get rid of. The dress was off-white and made of satin having a lace, Victorian style high ruffled collar, long lace sleeves which ended in satin and lace cuffs and ruffles at the wrist, and a lace overlay over the entire dress....and it was short..which may be why my sister said it didn't fit right, as she never has liked anything really short OR lacy. The best part was it fit ME perfectly as she was still a bit bigger than me even then with the hem hitting me mid to lower thigh. The dress, and a pair of black satin pants (also my sisters) with a pair of her black Mary-Janes would make up my "Renaissance" costume. Or should say Victorian, but hey, its the 6th grade and I looked like almost everyone else (boys AND girls). The pants were baggy enough to hide the bottom of the dress when it was folded over near my hips so that on stage, it looked just like a fancy nobleman's shirt. After the dress rehearsals (last 2 Fridays before the "big show"), Mom was there to recover the clothes so that no harm would come them (lest I get them dirty..like I would wear them on the playground somehow...right).

The Wednesday night "parents performance" was when things started. I'd worn the outfit for the play and we went home. No big deal. On the way home Mom said she wanted to get everything cleaned again before the Friday morning whole-school performance..why I'll never know but thats a Mom's prerogative right? Not long after we got home we got a call from my Aunt (not the same one that created Jennifer) telling her that Granddad (Mom's dad) had died that afternoon. This broke her up pretty bad, and she began to make arrangements for she and my sister to fly out the next day (Thursday). I would drive out with my Dad when he got off work on Friday night especially since Mom didn't want me to miss the rest of the play Friday morning. I went on to school the next morning as she and sis prepared to leave, Mom reminding me that she would still get the dress and pants cleaned before she left and it would be hanging in the closet for me before she left...she promised.

Now one thing you have to understand..when Mom said something was going to be hanging in the closet, she meant EVERYTHING would be there. If she recommended you wear something, you'd better put on what was hanging in the front of the closet. If she told you what to wear, then you'd not only find what she said hanging in front, but everything else as well (underwear, socks, tie--yuck, etc) all in a brown sack usually clothes-pinned to the hanger.. and you'd better not come out of your room wearing ANYTHING else.

Mom and sis were already gone when I got home that afternoon from school, but sure enough, there in the front of my closet hung the dress, pants and a brown bag clothes-pinned to a hanger next to it, with the Mary-Janes parked underneath.
Dad and I scrounged supper that night, played with the trains, then went off to bed. He asked me if I wanted him to get me up the next morning before he left (about 5:30am) but I said it was all right and that I would manage.

Friday Morning

The reason I didn't want Dad to wake me, was I went into my sisters room before I went to bed and "borrowed" a nightgown. With Mom and sis not there to wake me up, I could wear it for breakfast too! After I ate, I took a shower and then headed for the closet. "Careful with the bag" I could hear my Mom's voice in my head.."I'll use it again later"..I smile and wonder how she and sis are doing. I take the clothes down and lay them on the bed to get dressed and then open up the bag.
I remember confusion..in the bag was everything allright..but I wasn't sure for who. In it were a pair of panties, a bra, slip and tights (packaged together as a set in matching off-white) and 2 letters, one for me and one for my teacher. I opened the letter to me, and my Mom had written for me to "have a good time and do a good job...hope this is what you wanted". I dared not open the one for my teacher, and even with her not around I didn't even think of disobeying the past commands of "thou shalt not wear anything else other than whats in the bag" from Mom. This was too strange though. Was Mom so distracted by Granddads death that since she was handling a dress and had been in my sisters room that she just packed a bag for her by mistake? No.. the things in the bag were MY size..not my sisters..and they were new. She must have flipped or not noticed the bra in the package or who knows.
I had told her the dress was still scratchy on the inside in a few places on Wednesday night and was hoping for a slip..but this was beyond my dreams. Not to waste such an opportunity provided by my mother no less, I put on the panties, bra (it was a training bra..but I had learned not to complain about whatever was in the bag..and this I was diffenently not going to complain about!), tights and slip and paraded around the house for quite a while. I also remember almost being late to leave for school. I quickly put on the rest of the outfit and darted out the door. It was usually a boring 15 minute walk to school, but I didn't care today, as I knew I would enjoy it.

I got to school and gave my teacher the letter which, when she finished reading it said she was sorry to hear about my Granddad and would miss me on Monday (neat..an extra day off!). She also said the letter said for me to give her my pants as soon as the program was over (Mom was really scared I was going to mess up these clothes for some reason). Well, the program was done and those who had stuff went to change but in my rushing out the door I forgot to bring anything to change into. I told my teacher about not having anything (to change into) and she said that nothing was in the letter about me changing and that all the letter said was for her to get the pants from me, and nothing about the rest of the outfit so she assumed I was to just wear it, especially since I was wearing such a complete outfit with tights that matched so for the time being I should leave it on. So I went back to class wearing the dress. Lots of the kids were already back in class and still in their outfits (including one other boy still in what he said were his sisters clothes), so I don't remember anyone saying anything to me as I'm sure everyone had heard the teacher say for me to give her the pants when we were through with the program at the beginning of the day.

My teacher was understanding that me not having anything to change into might be an oversight on my Moms part (and not on mine..), so she went to the gym and got a T-shirt and shorts. The dress was longer than the shorts and besides, the zipper was now stuck about 2 inches down from the top. So she zipped it back up and said she was sorry but I'd just have to make do for the day. Most of the kids were sorry for me being stuck in a dress all day (but did I mind?!).
At recess I was told to stay with the girls and other kids who hadn't changed yet so I wouldn't get my dress dirty. I went over to where they were and sat down by myself when a girl who's Mom hadn't shown up with her clothes came over and sat down with me. She was one of the "stars" in the program and had a fancy dress and stuff that she was still wearing. We sat and talked the entire recess. Now talking wasn't out of the ordinary for me, but this girl wouldn't even say hi to me most of the time, so for her to come up and want to talk was different. I don't remember the conversation (and didn't write it in my diary..probably the usual "like your dress, sorry your stuck in it, so neat I wasn't complaining like a baby about it), but I do remember that from then till we graduated high school we stayed fairly good friends.

At the end of school, I asked my teacher about the pants. She said she was to hold them till Mom picked them up on Tuesday (per the letter). I said OK and left. Now walking to school in the whole outfit was fun, but walking home like this was a blast! When I got home I worked (as best I can remember anyway) with the zipper but watched TV and stuff till my Dad got home and I told him about the stuck zipper. He was a bit surprised to see me still dressed the way I was (I still had on the makeup from the program and some "extra" from a few of the girls at the 2nd recess) and with his huge hands and fingers could do nothing with the little zipper. He finally got hold of Mom about an hour later (he had wanted to be on the road long before now) and told her about the zipper as well. She was surprised that I had worn nothing but the dress all day and told Dad for me to just come as I was and she'd fix it when we got to Grandma's. She also told him to tell me to change shoes to the ones that went with the dress. They were the same off-white but were much nicer than the Mary-Janes with a bit higher and narrower heel and no strap across the middle (2" pumps).

As Dad and I left, he was a bit worried about me and how I was dressed saying several times he was sorry he couldn't get the zipper unstuck. A few times when he said something to me he called me by my sisters name as well..then apologizing saying that dressed this way I just looked like her(except for my shorter hair). He treated me a bit different than normal as well the entire trip. No roughhousing or kidding around, but kinda gentle-like (like he would my sister). When we stopped for supper, he held open the door to the restaurant for me...and same for breakfast.

We got to Grandma's at around 10 or 11 (I think it was..before lunch anyway) and Mom fiddled with the zipper for a while but never once commenting on how I was dressed (including the bra, which she had to notice as she worked on the zipper). We had gotten there late, and the funeral was a-ways away so she said I'd just have to go as I was (that's why -- she told me later--that she had me change shoes). Since I was allergic to flowers, I didn't go into the funeral parlor anyway and sat outside with my Aunt (the one that DID get me started as Jennifer). When the funeral was over, my Aunt asked my Mom if I could just come to her house till things were settled down at Grandma's and she said OK. We got to my Aunts and had a late lunch, then she worked on the zipper for a while and finally got it loose and freed me from the dress. She said I should go and take a bath, as a long soak might feel good to me.When I got out, my Aunt had clothes laid out for me on my cousins bed. A simple outfit of a yellow blouse and white knee length skirt, with a white bra and panties, knee-highs and white sandals. I don't remember saying anything, just putting them on and shortly after we went out to dinner. I borrowed a gown for the night that night and slept with my cousin.

The next afternoon (Sunday) we went down to my Grandma's house after church. I wore the same outfit to church, and when we got home, my Aunt gave me a pair of my cousins white pants that zipped up the rear, a dark blue peasant top and a pair of flat strappy sandals to wear back to Grandma's (seeing a photo recently of this gathering is what brought all this back to memory) . Mom didn't say much about how I was dressed (again), just looked at me kinda funny then smiled and gave me a big hug, thanking me for coming and apologizing for the problems with the dress. When we were alone, my sister made a few comments but nothing in front of Mom or Dad. I wore that outfit on the drive back home. Mom let me wear the top and pants every now and then after that (but just around the house) till I out grew them, while the lace dress (and matching shoes beneath it) remained hung in the back of MY closet for a long time. The panties (both pair) stayed in my drawer for a long time as well and I was allowed to wear them around the house and for bed but I never saw either bra again after I took off the white one once we got home. The sandals she never said a word about and by the end of that following summer I had worn them out!

I know "The Play" is not a real good title for this story, but it is what started a wonderful weekend for me, even if it was surrounded with tragedy.
Jennifer