by Barbara Lynn Terry

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Part XI - The Rain, the park and other things
 
 
Part I - Kira goes to the hospital.
 
 
Daddy took me to the hospital right from Dr. Fitzgibbons office. When we went in and registered at the desk, the lady said to have a seat, and somebody would be by to take me to my room. She said I would be here overnight, because the operating rooms were all booked up for the day, so far. So, we sat down, and we waited. About ten minutes went by and a lady wearing a sort of pinkish apron came in with a wheelchair. The lady at the desk pointed to me, and told her the room number.

The lady's name was Brenda, and she had been a volunteer for the hospital since her children had graduated from school. She was sixty-two years old, and said she liked what she does. We got in the elevator and went to the fourth floor. My room number was 4221. As we got in the room, the nurse was right there to take my temperature, listen to my heart and lungs, and take my blood pressure reading and my pulse. Then she handed me the nurse call button that also had the tv switch on it, and told me which was which. I mean how could you not know the button with the nurse's cap was for the nurse? After I had gotten into my gown, I told daddy he could open the curtain from around my bed. I had Katie tie the back of the gown closed and went and sat in the chair. I pressed the tv button, and went through the channels. There was nothing good on. Oh well, it is only overnight, I guess I'll live. I just sat there, and Katie, Daddy, Danny and I talked for what seemed hours. We talked about the case, and the examination from Dr. Fitzgibbons. We all agreed that we liked Dr. Fitzgibbons and her staff. We talked about the movie we saw, and then we talked about being in here overnight. Like I said, I get worried.

"There is nothing to worry about, sis. Dr. Fitzgibbons said this was day surgery. What that means is, as soon as the anesthetic wears off, you can go home. Now, I don't think there is anything to worry about. Okay you little sneak."

"Okay I guess," and I didn't miss Katie's attempt at humor, but for some reason I had a bad feeling about this. "Katie, is it really bad being in the hospital?"

"No sis. You have all these nurses here. One of them is assigned to you, and a few other patients as well. See the button with the nurse's cap on it. Whenever you need something, you just press that, and when she has time, she will come to see what you need. You also have a PCA helping the nurse too. That stands for personal care assistant, and what the PCA does, is come in and help you with a bath, if that is what you need, Let me see, yes, her name is Wanda, and your nurse is Corrine. See it is written right there on that little blackboard. When they change shifts, the new nurse will put her name on there and the PCA's. So you are in very good hands, and there is nothing to worry about."

"I know, maybe, but I worry just the same. What if something happens and I am here for more than just a day?"

"Think positive, sis. Just think about going home and calling your friends, and letting them know what is going on. I'm sure that Darlene, Jessica, Josie, and Marla will want to know why you didn't call them. Or do you want to call them now? Here is your phone. The number for the phone is right on top of the blackboard. See it?" I nodded. I called Darlene.

"Hi Dar, this is Kira. Oh I'm fine, Dr. Fitzgibbons has a little day surgery to do, and when we got here to the hospital, I was told that I had to stay overnight, because the operating rooms are all booked up for today, so far. What? Oh good. I'll be waiting, I'm not going anywhere." I giggled as I hung up the phone. "Darlene said she is calling the girls to see if they can come and see me. They're bringing their homework too, so they must be planning to stay for a bit. Darlene said they were wondering what was taking me so long. So, they should be here shortly. Hopefully Jessica's mom will bring them." It was too far for them to walk from our neighborhood to the hospital.

About a half an hour went by, and Jessica poked her head in the door. "Can a few strangers come in?"

"I have never been so glad to see anyone in my entire life, than you four. You have really made my day. But Jess, I'm worried about something tho."

"Like what girlfriend?"

"What if something happens tomorrow, and I don't go home for a while?"

"You know what I did, when I was in the hospital for four days?"

"What did you do?"

"I just kept talking to the nurses everytime they came in my room, either to get something out of the lock drawers, or check my monitors, and they would talk back. There are a lot of nice nurses on this floor. And I see you have Corrine today. She's very nice. So tell me girlfriend, what did the doctor say?"

"That I may have a rare condition they call AIS. That means androgen insensitivity syndrome. It is a very rare condition in women. Believe it or not, it means I may have the testicles of a guy and produce testosterone, but there is way too much testosterone that is produced the body can't process it all, and it ends up as estrogen. She said the tests weren't ready yet, but she will let us know when they are."

"So what does that mean, exactly. That you are a guy actually?"

"No, actually it means I am a woman, but with a very rare condition that maybe only three or four thousand women in this country alone have. But we are women, not guys. She also said, that when she felt for a sac that holds the testicles, that it was just loose skin, and so is what everybody, including my mother, thought was a penis. Dr. Fitzgibbons poked her fingers up in between my legs, and it felt as if her fingers were inside of me."

"That means you have a skin graft over a vagina. I have actually heard of that. It is a simple operation to remove the skin, and from what I have read, it is day surgery. So there is nothing to worry about girlfriend."

"Well, we'll see, won't we?"

"Oh stop being a worrywart. Listen, we brought our homework, so I have an idea. Why don't you lie down, and we will do what little homework we have. And do all of us a big favor. Don't worry."

So while they did their homeowrk, I listened to my sister and laid down. I didn't think I was tired, but the next thing I knew Dr. Fitzgibbons was waking me up.

"Hello Kira. I am gald you got a little rest, we won't be able to get in the OR until day after tomorrow because they are all booked up, and this isn't considered life threatening surgery. But I want you to stay in the hospital those couple of days, so I can run more tests. I saw the unltra sound pictures, and I brought them with me to show you. Also, as Katie said, you have male testes, but they are where your ovaries should be. You don't have a uterus, and you don't have fallopian tubes either. But your blood work doesn't show any testosterone in your system, only estrogens. That is the weird nature of AIS. The testes in your body produce testosterone, but by some quirk of fate, the body can't process it as testosterone, and it turns into estrogen. So my dear Kira, you are a woman, albeit with a very rare condition. I will be subpoenaed to court to give my findings. I understand that you are the victim in the case. Well, whoever injured you, will have to understand that this condition only happens in women, not men. I wanted to discuss these findings with you. It is good you have your family here so they heard what I said too. You get some rest, I have a couple of days to file my findings with the court. But I do want to do more blood testing, just in case the first one was a fluke. So just rest, and everything will work out. I will be back in the morning to check on you." After that she left, and I threw daggers at Jessica with my eyes.

"What?"

"Don't worry, I think you said. I can't help but worry, but one worry is already gone. At least I am a girl with a very rare condition, and now mother will have to understand that I am a girl too. I hope. We will see just what kind of a person this Mr. Weeks is when we go back to court."

"Well, one thing is for certain. We know why your mother may have thought you were a boy, but that still doesn't mean what she did was right. If I were a mother, and my son started wearing dresses, I would want him to see a therapist. Then depending on what the therapist said, I would take it from there. If the therapist said my son exhibited all the traits of a girl, and his tests showed he was transgendered, then I would treat her as the girl she is. If the therapist said he was only looking for attention, but doesn't show any signs of being female, then I would tell him to either stop, or he would be wearing dresses full time until he could act like the young man he is."

I looked at Marla and was surprised by what she said. "You would actually do that?"

"No, I read that somewhere though. That is what they call petticoat punishment. I think I saw it online somewhere, or maybe in the library. I can't remember." She smiled at me, and then told me that I take everything too seriously. She said she could understand it though because of everything I had been through.

The next couple of days I was in and out of sleep. I didn't think my body was that tired, but apparently I was wrong. I think I was just exhausted from everything my mother did to me, and now my body was catching up. Dr. Fitzgibbons came in and asked me if I was ready to be rid of that useless skin, and I said yes. The lady with her told me to get in the wheelchair, and they took me to the operating room.

When I woke up, I was feeling very tired yet, and the nurse said that was because the anesthetic hadn't worn off. I was back to sleep before I heard another word. When I woke up next, the nurse came over when she saw me move, but my eyes were kind of still shut and they burned a little.

"How are you feeling, sweetie," I heard the nurse in a somewhat cheery tone.

"I can't open my eyes, they're burning."

"I will get you some eye drops, that will help. When I give you the eye drops, don't blink your eyes, but keep them closed for a while. Then she left, and when she came back she told me to try and open my eyes. I did, and the room I was in was huge, and lit up like daylight.

"Where am I?"

"In the recovery room. You are going to be with us for a few more days. The operation went well, and the patient survived, but there were complications. Dr. Fitzgibbons will explain it all to you tomorrow, when she sees you. I can tell you though that you gave us quite a scare."

"Why? What happened?"

"I'm afraid that the doctor will have to tell you that. Anyway Kira, it is nice to have met you though. But let's not meet like this again. Okay?"

"Okay. What is your name?"

"Julie, I am an OR and recovery room nurse."

"What does an OR nurse do?"

"Well, for one I hold the rubber gloves so that the doctor can put them on without soiling his hands. I hand the doctor the surgical instruments that he asks for, and I apply suction to clear blood out of the incision he is working on, and I wipe his forehead when he sweats too much. When I am in the OR I am just one of the hired help. The doctor does all the real work."

"Sounds boring."

"You got it. Anyway, I didn't take your vital readings before when you woke up. So I am going to do that now. Then after you have been awake for a bit, I will call for a volunteer to take you back to your room." She took my blood pressure, felt my pulse, and listened my heart and lungs. Then she said I could lie back down. A little while later, the same lady that brought me down here, came in but she didn't have a wheelchair this time. She did something with the bed wheels, and then started rolling it out of the recovery room.

I hurt between my legs, and I wondered how long that was going to be. Julie had said I was going to be here for a few more days. Oh just wait until I get out of here. I am going to get Jesica for this. Don't worry she said. Yeah, right. Now I'm going to be here because of complications. What kind of complications. Don't worry, she said. Don't worry! Complications are something to worry about though. Well, I guess this can't be helped, but still I wish people would stop telling me not to worry.

I must have fallen asleep again on the way to my room, because when I opened my eyes, Katie was sitting in the chair by my bed. "Well sleepyhead, it's about time you woke up. Your dinner should be here anytime now. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know, really. Tired, I know that much, but I'm mad at Jessica, because she was the one telling me not to worry. The recovery room nurse told me I am going to be here a few more days because there were complications. When I asked what complications, she just said Dr. Fitzgibbons will tell me tomorrow. But I am worried sis."

"Now listen little sister. Dr. Fitzgibbons phoned the house to tell us there really isn't anything for us to worry about, but there were minor complications with the surgery. Nothing life threatening or anything, just small things. For one, she had to reopen your vagina, it was all but closed. Then she found something she was totally unprepared for. What she thought were testicles that showed up on your utra sound, are actually ovaries. She was at a loss to explain something like this. The reason you are going to be here for a few more days, is so she can run a few more tests. She wants you to have another ultra sound, and she wants you to have a CT scan. That is where you lie under this thing that whirs over your head for a few minutes. Then she wants you to have an MRI too. She asked us if you were claustrophobic, and we said we didn't think so. Claustrophobia is where a person is afraid to be closed in. You would be in a small tube where you can't move, and you will have ear plugs because it gets very noisy in the tube. But she said this will tell us a lot more about your physical make up. She said she decided to have you get an MRI because of the ovaries she found. Sis, I think we are about to find out that you are a woman, just an underdeveloped one. We will see what the tests show. I know, I should let Dr. Fitzgibbons tell you, but I thought it would be better coming from me, because I can explain it to you so you understand it."

"It's okay, at least I understand what is going on now. So I will be here until the tests are done, then?"

"Yes, sis."

"How is daddy and Danny with all of this?"

"Well Danny is worried for his little sister, and daddy is just, well, daddy. But I thought I should be here when you got back, so we could talk."

"Well at least you stopped me from being worried. But now I am curious though, about what Dr. Fitzgibbons will find when the tests are done. I'm only thirteen, is there a chance I could develop into a real woman when I am older?"

"Sis, you may not know this, but you are a real woman, you are still a girl right now, but yes, sis, you are as real as we come. Don't let a few minor things like being underdeveloped make you think any differently. There have been girls that were underdeveloped but turned out to have families by natural childbirth. So don't throw in the towel just yet. Let's wait and see what mother nature does.

"I would be willing to bet that you will have a large family, and you will live a long time. When you were still a baby, I knew you were someone very special and you haven't disappointed me at all. You were always my little sister, and I love you so much."

I started crying. Why is it when we are happy, we cry? Katie just held me, and said everything was going to turn out just fine. My dinner tray came up, and I wasn't hungry, but tried to eat a few bites. They came right back up. The nurse said she sould get me some juices, and I was to sip them. When she brought the juices, she told me that the anesthetic hadn't worn off yet, and that is why my tummy was upset. She said I was to just sip the juices, slowly. I took a few sips of one of the juices, and fell asleep. I didn't see or hear anything until the morning. I saw a new nurse's name on the chalk board, and a new PCA. Cyndi was the nurse, and Darlene was the PCA. Weird, I have a friendnamed Darlene. I giggled, and that woke Katie up, who was sleeping in the chair next to the bed.

"Good morning, sis. Do you need help getting to the restroom?"

"Yes, please."

"Alright, come on then, I'll help you. That is what the PCA's are for, but why bother them. All you need is for someone to help steady you. You had quite a fitful night last night. Alright, let me know when you are done." She closed the restroom door, and I did what I had to. I washed my hands, and then opened the door. She helped me back to the bed, and as I was laying down, the PCA came in.

"Oh! I was going to see if you needed any help. But I guess you beat me to it. Would you like to get washed up before breakfast?"

"That would be wonderful."

"I'll get you a couple of basins of water, and if you need any help, let me know."

"My sister can help me, when she's here."

"It's good that you have family. Well, until she leaves, I will tend to my other patients. But if there is anything you need, just press the button." She brought two basins of water, a few wash cloths and a few towels. I then asked her is she had any skin lotion, and she said yes, and she would be right back.

"Here is your lotion. Do you need any help putting it on?"

"No, Katie will help me. I don't see why I should bother you, when Katie is here."

"I wish I had more patients like you. Alright then, if you need me just buzz."

Then she left, and Katie help me wash. When we were through, Katie emptied the basins in the toilet, and rinsed and wiped them out. Then she put the towels in a corner by the door, so the PCA could take them out. Then she came back and we talked a little more.

"You know that daddy and Danny will be coming up shortly. They wanted you to rest overnight. Here's your breakfast. I ordered all of your meals for today. I will order them again for tomorrow. We want you to rest. I'm going down to the cafeteria to get something, you eat your breakfast. I will be back after. Daddy and Danny should be here by then." She gave me a hug and left.

Breakfast was Rice Krispies, half of a grapefruit, two slices of toast, butter, milk, and orange juice. I ate my breakfast, and laid back down and went to sleep. When I woke up daddy and Danny were there, and Katie was back too.

"Hey punkin, you were really out there for a while. How are you feeling?"

"Very painful."

"Press the nurse's button, so she can get you a pain pill," Katie said,looking very concerned.

Cyndi came in and gave me a Tylenol 3 and told me to rest. "You can stay," she said to daddy and Danny, "but she needs her rest."

"Thank you."

"Mr. Spelling you have a wonderful daughter, I only wish I had met her away from the hospital."

"Thank you, uhm, ..."

"Cyndi. I am her nurse for this morning. I will be going home at two, and then Amanda takes over. You get some rest Kira, and I will be back in the morning. I will be right back, I need to take your vitals again." She took all the readings, checked where Dr. Fitzgibbons did the surgery, and she left.

"Daddy, will you still be here when I wake up? I'm still tired."

"Yes punkin, I will still be here. If we are not in the room when you wake up, we will be in the cafeteria and will be right back."

"Okay, daddy, good night." He gave me a hug, Danny and Katie gave me hugs too, then I was fast asleep.
 

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End of Part XI
 
 
To Be Continued...