Kira - Chapter XII - Twist and turns around every corner.

Part I - Amanda Dowling.

I woke up and found daddy sleeping in the chair by the bed. I just laid there and looked at him. He seemed so peaceful, and I hated to wake him up, but I needed to use the restroom. I pressed the nurse's button, and Darlene, who was the PCA for this morning came in to see what I needed. I whispered that I needed to use the restroom, and she helped me get there. When I was finished, she helped me back. Daddy was awake by then.

"Good morning, daddy," I said with a half smile.

"Good morning, punkin. Did you sleep well?"

"So-so. Did you sleep here all night?"

"Kind of. I got here last night, and you were sleeping. They let me stay when I promised not to wake you. How are you feeling?"

"Eh, so-so. I'm worried about these tests. They told me in the recovery room that there were complications, and Katie said they were minor ones. Whatever that means."

"Well, we will wait and see what the doctor has to say. Other than a little apprehensive, how do you feel?"

"I guess okay." I pressed the nurse's button again, and they asked me over the intercom what did I need. "I need a pain pill, when you can." The nurse this morning was Jasmine, and she had pitch black, straight hair, a sort of olive complexion, and had those big sparkly brown eyes. She said she was from India. After she gave me the pill, I was fast asleep.

When I woke up, Jessica and the girls were here. Marla looked a little worried. "Girlfriend, I looked up AIS, and it doesn't even sound good. Other than being female on the surface, you don't have the insides a female does. That is spooky. But, does the doctor know for sure that this is what you have?"

"Pretty sure. Why?"

"Because I was thinking that maybe you do have the insides the rest of us have, just that they aren't developed."

"Do you think that is possible?"

"Is what possible, Kira?" Dr. Fitzgibbons said, as she walked in to the room.

"That maybe I do have the female insides, only they are not developed."

"That is why you are here. Do you know what an enigma is, Kira?"

"No."

"An enigma is a puzzle. That is what you are, is a puzzle. I looked over your ultrasound pictures, and reviewed your blood tests. I did this more than once. Maybe you don't have AIS, but there is certainly something going on inside of you. And I need to figure this out. So, do you mind staying here a little bit longer? This way we can try and figure out what is going on inside of you."

"If I have to. I guess asking for a simple life was a little too much to ask for."

"Do I detect a little sarcasm in that tone?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Fitzgibbons, but everytime I seem to have things going just right, something comes along like this, and ruins it."

"Well, I am not giving up. I have you here so that I can see exactly what is going on with you. I want to solve this puzzle that is inside of you. So I am not giving up."

As we were talking, another lady came in my room. She wore simple jeans, a light powder blue top, and had a very infectious smile. Her smile got even wider when she saw Dr. Fitzgibbons.

"Hi Sarah."

"Mandy!" Both women hugged in that sisterly manner that Katie and I do all the time. "Kira, this is Amanda Dowling."

"Hello Amanda," I said, with a little worried look.

"You can call me Mandy, Kira. I'm here to give you psychological profile. But I can see that maybe that isn't necessary. Do you mind if I talk to Dr. Fitzgibbons for a bit?"

"No."

"Alright, I will be right back." They went in the hall way, where I couldn't hear what they were saying. They were out there for quite a while. Finally, Mandy came back in the room. "Well Kira, I don't think there is any sexual confusion on your part, and Dr. Fitzgibbons assures me that you are physically female, and that you may have a very rare condition. But since I am here, would you like to talk for a bit?"

"Okay."

"Do you mind if we talk alone?"

"No, these are my friends, and my family. I can talk with them here.

"I understand that you are the victim in a criminal case against your mother. Now you don't have to talk to me, if you don't want to."

"That's okay."

"How did you feel when your mother hit you?"

"I was shocked that she would do something like that. I mean up until then she never hit me, just yelled. Then she went to the bathroom, and I called my daddy and told him what mother did, and he came over with two police officers. One of the officers is the mother of one of my friends. We talked for a little bit after they took mother away."

"Has your mother shown any kind of remorse? Sorrow, apology, anything like that?"

"No, she just looks at me with contempt. I don't understand why she is like that."

"Well, just so you know, I am filing a good report with the judge about you. I don't see any mental illness, just a sad little girl. How does your father and siblings feel about this?"

"They don't understand why mother is like this either. They told me that before mother did what she did, they were thinking of ways to get me away from her."

"Why were you with your mother?"

"When my parents went to court for their divorce, mother told the judge that she didn't think it was a good idea for me to live with him, because he was raising me as a girl. That wasn't true. All daddy said was, if this is the way I feel, they should let me live as the girl I thought I was. Mother didn't think so, and that is what the divorce was about. Katie and Danny went with daddy, and I went with mother. Mother forbade me to wear anything that even looked like it was a girl's."

"Well, with what Dr. Fitzgibbons and I tell the court, she will have to admit that you are her daughter. Hopefully that will put all of this to rest."

"Maybe."

"Well, we can hope, anyway. Kira, there is no reason to be sad, really. Dr. Fitzgibbons tells me that you have a supportive family. If your mother cannot accept you as her daughter, then she is the one who is missing out. Anyway, would you introduce me to these young ladies, and these two guys?"

"This is my daddy and my brother Danny. That is my sister Katie, and these four are the best four friends anybody could ever have. That is Jessica, then Marla, Darlene and Josie. They were the ones who told me I should stand up to my mother. If I hadn't stood up to her, none of this would be happening now. I am only glad that things are looking better. Dr. Fitzgibbons said she will not stop until she finds out what makes me tick." I giggled.

"She is a very good doctor. She is very thorough. If anybody can find out what is going on with you physically, she can. I only hope she finds it before you have to go back to court."

"I do too, but she said she won't stop until she finds whatever it is."

"And she won't, either. Kira, it was nice talking to you, but I have to go, I have another client to see. You be a good girl and don't worry about a thing, because Dr. Fitzgibbons will find out what is what. Take care, sweetie." After a nice hug, she left.

"Jess, what do you think? Do you think Dr. Fitzgibbons will really find out what is what as Mandy said?"

"Yes, Kira, I really think she will. If she hadn't found what she did when you had your physical, none of this would be going on now. But she wants to be sure of her findings. I think that is so she can write a good report to the court."

"I just hope it doesn't take forever. I've been in here two days already, and it is getting really boring."

"Well sis," Katie added. "However long it takes, at least we will know. If you see Dr. Fitzgibbons all the time, then she can find out more. I think for her enigma, she will want to see you all the time anyway."

"Besides that, then you won't have to keep guessing if you are transgendered, have AIS, or are a female but just underdeveloped. When Dr. Fitzgibbons is done, everybody will know what is what. Besides, it doesn't matter anyway, because you are one of us, and nothing can change that."

"Thank you, Marla. I just want to get it over with."

"Well, young lady," daddy piped in, "you just may get your wish. I think this taxi is for you."

"Tell me your name, and birthdate, please," said the lady with the wheelchair. I gave her my name and birthdate, and she looked at my wrist band, and then told me to get in the wheelchair. "Hi Kira, I'm Dottie, and I'm going to take you for an MRI. Have you ever had one before?"

"No ma'am."

"Well, it doesn't hurt, all you do is lay in this tube with ear plugs and the machine scans your body. From the pictures we get we can see a lot, but we aren't allowed to tell you what we saw. Only the doctor can do that. So, if we're ready, let's go."

She wheeled me out of the room and to the elevator. She wasn't tall, maybe five foot, five inches, and she had nice sandy blonde hair. Her smile was contagious, and I wondered if that was a requirement to work in a hospital. When we got to the room that said MRI, she opened the door, and pushed me in.

I saw this great big tube thing that took up almost the whole room. She explained that they would be giving me ear plugs, and a thing to squeeze if I thought I couldn't finish the examination. She had me lay on this table thing, and I put my head in the recess. Then she asked if I was ready and I said yes. The table I was on began to move in to the tube. As soon as the table stopped, I heard another lady say, "we are ready to start, Kira, just relax, and this will take about forty five minutes. Here we go."

There was this noise that sounded a lot like workmen tearing up the street. There was also music that was piped through too. I relaxed, and must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, the table I was on began to move. Then I was out of the tube.

"You did really well, Kira. This took fifty minutes, and everything went well. The doctor will look at the pictures, and then send them off to your doctor, uhm, Fitzgibbons. The volunteer should be here shortly to take you back to your room."

She didn't tell me her name, but she had that infectious smile, and her eyes were wide and blue. The volunteer came, and she pushed me back to my room. When I got there, my lunch tray was already in the room.

"We thought you got lost, sis."

"No, they said the MRI lasted fifty minutes. What's for lunch? Anybody want my asparagus?"

I saw everybody make those ewww faces, so I left that alone because I didn't like it. I ate one slice of the turkey, and drank my milk. But even at that though, I felt full, like I couldn't eat another bite. I laid back down, and had this really awful pain. I pressed the nurse's button and she asked what I wanted over the intercom. I said I needed another pain pill, and she brought it right in. She looked at my tray and said I should try to eat a little more. I couldn't, so I left the rest on the tray. I fell asleep, and by the time I woke up, only daddy was in the room with me.

"Hi sleepyhead. Everybody had to go home, because they have school tomorrow. Katie said she would be up after she is done grading papers. So, I know this sounds like I am repeating myself. But, how do you feel?"

"Like I got hit by a train. I need to use the restroom."

"If I help you to the restroom, can you do the rest by yourself?"

"I'll get the nurse." I pressed the button, and my PCA Debbie came in to see what I needed. I told her what I needed, and she helped me to the restroom. She waited outside until I said I was done, and she helped me wipe. Then she walked with me back to my bed. I was still tired, and it was three in the morning. I went back to sleep, knowing daddy was there.

When I woke up, my breakfast tray was just coming in. Katie had ordered scrambled eggs, sausages, toast, milk and orange juice. I ate the sausages but I left the eggs because they didn't taste right. I ate one slice of toast, and drank my juice and milk. Daddy was just coming back in followed by Dr. Fitzgibbons. She had this weird look on her face.

"When I said you had AIS, Kira, I may have been mistaken. But that was only a preliminary finding though. Your MRI pictures show more than the ultra sound. So, I need to do a CT scan and a few more blood tests, and then we should be done. When I thought I was examining a boy, and was going to check you for hernias, I felt something very unusual. So, you may be right, that you are a severely underdeveloped female. I still have to look at those MRI pictures again. Then I want another set of x-rays, and another ultra sound. With all of these tests, I should be able to find out what is going on inside of you. You've been super so far. Just a few more tests and then you can go home. You should be here another three to four days. Think you can handle that?"

"If I have to, I can. I want to know too what is going on inside of me."

"Good girl. Anyway, they should be up shortly to take you for your CT scan. Then once a day for the next three or four days, they will take blood from you. But only once each day. Tomorrow you should have your ultra sound done, and then I can look at everything together, and find out what is what."

"I have my family and my friends, so I guess I can stick it out. Besides I am still feeling pain down below."

"Okay, let me take a look." She drew the curtain closed around my bed, and then had me put my feet in the stirrups. She opened my vagina with something that didn't look all that comfortable, and then looked in with the light she put on her head. When she was finished, she looked at me with a very puzzling expression. "Uhm, Kira, if you are an underdevloped female, this is the darndest thing I have ever seen. What I just saw makes me believe that you don't have AIS, but you are a female, now a young woman, in every respect of the word. Women with AIS, or severely underdeveloped, or barren women, don't have menstrual flows. And if I am not mistaken, that is exactly what is going on with you now. I will be right back, I have to get your PCA. Your going to need a bath, a new gown, and new sheets. I think my enigma is starting to come together. Okay then, I need to relook at everything, and the CT scan and ultra sound will tell me more as will the blood work. You take it easy, I will be back in the morning." She opened the curtain and gave me a hug, then she left.

"Well sweetie, it looks like my little girl is growing up. I heard what the doctor said, and Katie is going to love it that you are her sister physically as well as mentally. Now I see why you always were so feminine. Your mother either has to accpet you as her daughter, or she will be the one losing out."

"Thank you, daddy."

Just then my PCA for today came in with towels and wash cloths. I couldn't take a shower, so she drew the curtain closed after apologizing to daddy. Then she helped me off with my gown, and washed me up. After she dried my body, she gave me a tampon, and then a pad. I was told by her to have someone get me a clean pair of panties, and have these taken home to be washed. She helped me on with my clean gown, and had me sit in the chair. She made up my bed after washing the plastic matress cover. Then she put a cloth pad over the bottom sheet in the middle of the bed. When she was done, she asked if I needed anything else, and I said I needed something for pain. She asked me if I felt like I had abdominal cramps, and I said yes. She came back with a Mydol, and I let it work. It helped but I still felt the pain somewhat.

What Dr. Fitzgibbons told me, made me think. I have never had a physical that I can remember, so what she said was a surprise to me. I think if mother would have had me get a physical examnation, she would have found all of this out a long time ago. But she never took me to the doctor, even when I had a cold or the flu. I never knew anything except what she told me, so I thought she was just being mean. What was it the girls said? She is in self denial?

"Daddy, what does self denial mean?"

"It means that when someone wants something, they deny that to themselves when they see what they want is something else. In your case, she wanted a boy, but deep down knew you were a girl. So she denied that you were a girl, and held onto the boy she wanted you to be. That is why she never took you to a doctor, because she was afraid of what the doctor would find. I am amazed that you got this far in school without having a physical done. But you have one now, and we can ask Dr. Fitzgibbons for a copy of your physical examination report. You have been very brave through all of this. I think your friends will be glad too, that you are one hundred per cent female." He gave me a hug, and then said we should see what was on television.

Daddy has always been there for me. Even when mother objected to what he said about allowing me to be the girl I thought I was. Well now I don't have to think I am a girl, because only girls have periods. I just sat there in that chair and thought. I woke up in my bed, and Katie and the girls were here.

"So you have been holding out on me, hey little sister. You little minx, I love you. Daddy told us what the doctor said. I think it's great. We need to get you a fresh set of panties until you go home. So I am going to take the soiled ones home, and bring you back a complete set of about seven or eight. If they don't get you through this, I will go and get more. so don't go away little sister, I am coming right back."

"Kira, we just all talked it over. You were one of us when we first met you in school. But now you are really one of us. Let's make a pact. Sister's til death do us part." Marla was such a romantic, but we made the pact. Daddy just looked lost and shook his head slightly. This kinda reminded me of the opening scene of the Ya Ya Sisterhood movie. except we didn't have the bon fire.

"Well sisters, I think this calls for a party as soon as our newest sister gets home. Everybody in favor." Everybody said "I", and even daddy had to agree that a welcome home party was a good idea.

Katie came back, and we told her what we did, and then we accepted her as an older sister. Somebody we could look up to and pattern ourselves after. Katie and Danny were always there for me too. Now Katie I will be closer, because Katie and I are the same size. So we can share clothes, and we can talk about boys.

"You know dear sister, that I am going to have to have that "talk" with you." Daddy went ahem, and made an excuse he needed to go the cafeteria for a coffee, and left. "You need to know what your body can and should not do. I brought you ten pairs of panties, so when you have your flow you can change. You're physically a woman now, and when we start our periods, we have to be very careful. I will explain all of that when you get home. So, what else did the doctor say?"

"That is about it. Daddy said we can ask her for a copy of the pysical report, so the school has an updated copy."

"Yes that is important. It tells us that you are phsyically healthy, and that is very important. This way we know you don't have any communicable diseases, or physical abnormalitites. When I go back to school tomorrow, I will look in your file to see if there is even a hint of a physical report. I will also check to see if you are up to date on your immunizations."

"Thank you, Katie. I am only glad that Dr. Fitzgibbons found out for sure. But she said the rest of the tests will tell her more."

"Girlfriend, you are worrying me," Jessica added. "You have been in here for two days now, and you need to come home. Our study sessions aren't the same without you there."

"Tell me your name and your birthdate, please." I told her. "Kira, I am going to take you for a CT scan now. I'm sorry it took so long, but we have been backed up. Your the last for today."

I sat in the wheelchair, and she took me to the elevator and down to the radiology department. She wheeled me in a room that said CT scan above the door. I saw this weird circle thing, and another table just in front of it.

"Kira, can you lie down on the table, please. No honey, sit a little more toward the machine, and then lie down. Are you comfortable?" When I said I was, she said alright and that this would only take a fifteen minutes.

The table began to move backward toward the machine. It stopped when my head was directly under the circle thing. Then the lady said, they were starting and not to move. I laid there for what seemed like a long time, but it was only fifteen minutes. The lady said they were done, and the table moved forward away from the machine. The lady came out, and told me to sit up.

"How do you feel?"

"Still having cramps, but otherwise okay."

"Good. Yes we get cramps when we have our periods. Hop in the chair and I will take you back to your room." I got in the chair and she took me back to my room.

"Well, there you are," Danny said, giving me a hug. "I miss you sis. The house isn't the same with you not there. How much longer are you going to laze around this place?"

"Tomorrow, and the next day, maybe. Dr. Fitzgibbons wants to do another ultra sound, and more blood work."

"Well, did they tell you that you have a brain?" I promptly threw my pillow at him. We laughed a bit. That was just what I needed to cheer me up. Danny was always doing that when we were a complete family.

We visited some more, and then it was dinner time. Everybody made excuses that they needed to go to the cafeteria to have something to eat. I looked at my tray, and made another face. Don't they serve bratwurst or Italian sausage in here? I ate the mashed potatoes, the whole kernel corn, but left the liver. I drank my milk, and I was through. I laid back down and went to sleep. I slept pretty late, and only Katie was in the room.

"Where's daddy?"

"He said he was going to leave you in my capable hands." We giggled. "He said if you need to use the restroom, I can help you. He said that isn't his department." We giggled, again.

"That's because I had to use the restroom, and he wanted to know if he helped me to the restroom, could I do the rest by myself. I called for the nurse, and Debbie the PCA came in. So maybe he feels that he can't help me in that way."

"I wouldn't be surprised. Anyway, do you need any help right now?"

"Restroom, please."

"Yes, oh princess, your wish shall be granted." We giggled like little school girls.

"Did I mention that I love you, Katie?"

"And did I mention that I love you, little sister?"

"Uhm gee, I don't think so." We giggled again, and she gave me a nice hug. After I used the restroom, I went back to my bed, but just stood there. "Katie, I feel damp between my legs."

"Alright, wait right there." She pressed the nurse's button, and when they answered Katie said the PCA was needed for hygiene reasons. She came it with a tampon, and a sanitary pad.

"Here you are, sweetie. Do you need help with these?"

"No."

"Then go in the restroom and get cleaned up, and use these. Katie will you help her?"

"Yes, maybe I should have that talk with her tonight. Come little sister, let's get you cleaned up. By the time you get home, you will know how to do this by yourself. Anyway, are you still sleepy?"

"Not really."

"Okay, I need to have this talk with you, now that you are a fertile female. Kira, you are thirteen years old, and now that you have started your cycle, you have to be very careful when you are around boys. A cycle is twenty eight days and the menstrual flow lasts for about seven to nine of those days. An egg is produced by the ovary on the fourteenth or fifteenth day of that cycle, maybe even the sixteenth day. It varies woman to woman. Now for the icky part. Boys are sex crazy at best, and they will do anything, promise you anything, just to have sex with you. When a boy and girl, or man and woman have sex, the sperm from the male may fertilze the woman's egg and create and embryo that turns into a fetus. That fetus continues to grow in the woman's uterus for nine months.

"We have needs, Kira, because we need to sate our sexual drive. Boys don't really have a sexual drive as such. What they have is an urge, and usually when they get sexually excited when they think thay can get a girl to have sex with them. But see, for us, having sex can be disasterous if we aren't prepared. Guys don't have to worry about getting pregnant, we do. Once we become pregnant, our free life is over, because we now have to devote our life to our baby. There are condoms that help protect against unwanted pregnancies, but sometimes even that is not a guarantee, because sometimes they have holes in them. Some guys will purposesly put a pin hole in their condom. So we have to be very careful. There are a lot of things can help us, but the best is to say no. If they are insistent, then you tell them the only way they are having sex with you, is if the two of you get married. That will send most of them running. The one that doesn't run, you run from.

"A woman can get a very nasty reputation by freely having sex with any boy that asks. It is what they call promiscuous. I'm telling you this so you know what your body is doing during your period. Also, the purpose of the blood flow is to rid the body of tissues and impurities that form. You will go through this once a month now, for several years, until menopause. That is supposed to be when a woman stops having a menstrual cycle, and is not fertile any more. But there have been menopausal women who have had babies.

"Basically that is pretty much it. I know it sounds like a lot to remember, but believe me when I tell you, that you will use that knowledge every day of your life from now on. Do you have any questions?"

"No, not now. So in order to have a baby a boy and a girl need to have sex, and the girl gets pregnant and the boy goes away to whereever. Is that pretty much it?"

"Sometimes. There are guys that are devoted to their families, like daddy. Even when mom was home, he was always doing things around the house. He loves us with all of his being, and you can't find a father like that all the time. Oh look, your breakfast is here. I ordered you a hard boiled egg, I hope that was alright."

"Better than those scrambled eggs yesterday."

"Well, next time I won't order them for you. Anyway, eat your breakfast, I gotta get home and get ready to go to my class. I will be back tonight. Take care sis." She gave me a hug and then left. Well, today was Friday anyway, and it looked like I was going to be here over the weekend.

I ate my breakfast, and called for the nurse. When they asked me what I needed I said I had to use the rest room. For some reason, they don't want you going in there by yourself. Angie was the PCA today, and she helped me in there, and told me to pull the chord when I was done. When I was finished, she came in and helped me back to the bed. I slept until lunch time, but I wasn't really hungry. Katie ordered a small salad, chicken breast meal, milk, and a cup of tea. I ate the chicken meat, the salad and drank the milk, and sipped the tea. I left the mashed potatoes and the cauliflower.

After the nurse took my tray, and admonished me to eat more, daddy came in.

"Hi punkin. How are you doing?"

"Well, I wish Katie would order things I like. I didn't eat my mashed potatoes because I was full and I don't like cauliflower. But I guess I am happy that Dr. Fitzgibbons is finding out why I am the way I am."

"Well, I see you ate the rest, at least that's good. Tomorrow they should do the second ultra sound, and draw more blood, then one more day of blood draw, and you should be able to go home. I am happy too that the doctor is finding things that should have been found a long time ago. You missed your pre-adolescence as a girl, but Katie is going to make sure you don't miss your teen years. She said that your friends will help with that too. Did Katie give you the "talk"?"

"Yes she did. I didn't know girls had to know so much about their own bodies."

"That is because girls have more to learn about. You have a special body, Kira, and you should take pride in that body. You're my little angel, Kira, and I am going to make sure that you have what you need. Just like I did with Katie. I only hope your mother can see the truth now."

"Well, I do too. But I just want to get out of here. Maybe she will let me go after the ultra sound is done. I'm just bored."

"I know dear, just another day or two and then you can come home. We do want the doctor to find whatever she can, so that your mother can see the truth. If she still doesn't accept the truth, then I am afraid to say this, but she will never understand what she did wrong. She assaulted you and she had no right to do that. So we will see exactly what happens when we go back to court. Anyway, I will be here until Katie comes. Your friends said they would be by later. You know Kira, I am glad all of this happened now, instead of later on in the school year. You just met these girls, and you have had one group study thing after another with them. And now they are coming up here because they are worried about you. Now those are friends a person can count on."

"Daddy, I just want to go home."

"I know, punkin. Tomorrow or the next day for sure."

"Anyway, how is the pain?"

"It's painful. Maybe I may not be able to go home until it starts to go away."

"Does the pain medicine help?"

"Yes, some. But I can still feel pain but not like if I didn't take the medicine."

"Maybe Dr. Fitzgibbons will let you go home if you take the pain medicine."

"Maybe." I fell asleep until I was woke up and told my dinner was here.

Dinner was roast beef, in gravy, mashed potates, green beans, apple sauce, a piece of carrot cake, milk, and tea. I ate everything on my plate, and I took my time with my tea. I turned on the television and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith on FX. I have seen this movie several times, and I always laugh because it is so funny. Jessica and the girls came in followed by Katie. Katie handed me my homeowrk, and the girls and I just did it together. Katie and daddy were talking, but I wasn't interested what they were saying. Marla asked me if I was ready to go home.

"I have been ready to go home since I got here."

"I hear ya. So, do you know when you will leave?"

"Tomorrow or the next day, hopefully."

"Hello Kira," Amanda Dowling said, with a big smile. "I seem to come when you have company. Can we talk?"

"Yes, Mandy."

"Can we talk alone?"

"These are my friends and family, and I don't hold anything back from them."

"Well, okay. I was in the hospital talking to another client, and I just wanted to see how you were doing. I suppose by now you are so bored you don't know what to do with yourself."

"That is putting it mildly. If it weren't for my friends and family, I'd be really bored. I just want to get these tests over with so I can go home."

"I talked with Dr. Fitzgibbons, and she tells me that tomorrow should be the last day you are here. She said she will know more after the ultra sound. I just want to let you know though, that when you leave here, if you want you can always see me every now and then. Sometimes it helps to talk things out with a stranger. Would you like that?"

"I...uhm...don't know. Things are kind of confusing for me right now."

"Like what, for instance?"

"Well, this whole thing with my mother. Dr. Fitzgibbons said that she will either have to accept me as her daughter or lose out on having a wonderful family. I just don't know how to handle all of this."

"Well Kira, I think the best thing you can do, is actually think about it. Then it may become clearer to you. Now, you told me that she never hit you before the day that she slapped you. You said she always yelled before that. What it sounds like to me is thast your mother was under a strain trying to keep you as a boy, knowing in her heart that you were really a girl. That is what scared her. She wanted you to be a boy because in her mind, she thinks boys have it a lot easier in this world. This may or may not be the reason why she wanted you to be the boy she wanted you to be. Tell you what. You think about that for a bit, and talk about with your friends and family. I think between you, you can come up a very good reason why she acted the way she did. You think about what I said, Kira. Take care, I have to go and take care of my family." She gave me a hug, and then she left.

"Girlfriend, she is right. You need to talk to someone about this, because we can see that this is bothering you. If you talk about this, maybe you can put this behind you. Somebody told me once, that you can never forget the bad times, but you can always remember the good times. When I am troubled, I talk to my mother. You have Katie you can talk to. I'm sure she will listen."

"She will, Josie. She's the best sister a girl could have." I looked over at Katie and smiled, and she smiled back. "I can even talk to daddy to about certain things. Of course, Danny isn't much help. He's going to college when he graduates. So I have daddy and Katie. Katie and I can talk about this with daddy and Danny, but I think Mandy is right too. I am the one that has to think about this, and talk it out."

"Yes, sis, you are. When we get home, we will have to sit down and talk about it. Like Amanda said though, maybe it is the only way you can put this behind you. You will never forget, but you can always remember the good times. They never go away. So, do you want to talk about this now, or wait until we get home?"

"We can talk about it now. I mean, I have my friends here, and my family. By the way, where's Danny?"

"He will be here. He's with his friends for another hour."

"We should actually wait until he gets here. I mean, this concerns him too."

"Still thinking of others. No wonder you make friends so fast."

"Oh daddy!" I exclaimed, blushing.

Jessie, Marla, Josie, and Darlene sat down to do their homework, and I laid back down and went to sleep. I was still feeling pain, but it has only been a couple of days since I was in the operating room. Katie woke me up to tell me that my dinner was here. Tonight I was having a garden salad, spaghetti (no meatballs or sausage), one slice of bread, milk and tea. I ate everything and took my time sipping my tea. As I was sipping my tea, Danny came in and gave me a hug. Then he stood by daddy.

"Danny, we decided that maybe I can put all this behind me with mother, if we talked about it. Because it really bothers me that she actually hit me because she became angry at me. Even Josie's mom said they were going to see if they could file felony charges against her. I still don't understand why she was so angry."

"She may not have needed a reason, sis," Danny said, answering my question. "She may have just decided that force was the only way you would listen to her."

"Do you think that she was afraid the doctors would tell her that I was a girl, is why she never took me to a doctor?"

"Yes, sis, we all do. We talked about it, and it is the only reason we could come up with. If she wasn't afraid of what the doctors would tell her, then she probably would have found out years ago that you were female. Katie has been really worried about her getting out of prison and trying to kidnap you. But right for now, she can't harm any of us."

"Whatever her reason was, Kira, she is going to have to live with her decision. I'm going to see if we can get her parental rights taken away. I'm going to talk to Mrs. Jenkins about that and see if there is anything we can do. Maybe make it so she can't come anywhere near us, if she should get out of prison."

"I think that would good, daddy."

I went back to sleep, and slept through the night. The next morning, bright an early, a lady with wide blue eyes and blonde hair to her mid back, came in with a wheelchair.

"Can you tell me your name and birthdate, please?" I told her, and she looked at my wrist band. "Kira, I am Debbie and I am here to take you for your ultra sound. So, can you sit in the wheelchair, please, and we will get going."

She wheeled me to the elevator and we went down to the radiology department. She took me in the room marked ultra sound above the door, and told me to lie on the table. Then she closed the door, and took my gown down to my waist. She did the same thing they did the last time, and this took twenty minutes. Then she put my gown back up, and wheeled me back to my room.

"You did very well, Kira. The doctor will let you know what the ultra sound showed."

We got back to my room, and daddy was already there. I laid back down, and went to sleep, but I didn't sleep long.

"Can you tell me your name and birthdate, please?" I told her, and she looked at my wirst band. "Kira, I have to draw five vials of blood from you. From what I was told today, this is the last time." She put the needle in my vein and drew out the blood. Then she bandaged where she took out the blood, and left.

"If this is the last time, then maybe the doctor will let you go home today."

"Maybe, Katie, but we will see." I went back to sleep, and slept until my breakfast came. As I was eating my breakfast, Dr. Fitzgibbons came in.

"Good morning, Kira. I see you have a good breakfast. How about when you are finished, you get dressed, so you can go home? I will look at the last ultra sound and see if I missed anything. Then I will file my report with Judge Dawson. You have a good judge in her. She will make sure you get justice. Take care, Kira, it was nice to have met you." She gave me a hug then left.